Travel Writing That Sells

The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing How to Earn Enjoyable Profits and Travel the World For Free as a Published Travel Writer Travel Writing That Sells By John Longford © 2004 Hermitage Media All rights reserved. No part of this course may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher. Every effort has been made to ensure that the facts in this course are accurate. The authors and publisher cannot accept responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience, however caused. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 2 Travel Writing That Sells Contents 1 2 3 Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . General Principles . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Basics of Good Writing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Write As You Talk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Keep It Simple . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Use Short Sentences . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Use Short Paragraphs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Keep Your Writing Tight . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Use the Active Voice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Four Steps to Banish the Passive Voice Forever . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Be Positive, Not Negative . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Keep the Subject and Verb Close Together . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Keep Compound Verbs Together . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 5 8 8 8 9 10 12 13 15 17 20 20 21 4 Before You Sit Down to Write . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Identify Who You Are Writing For . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Big Picture: What is the Main Point You Want to Get Across to Your Reader? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23 23 23 5 Templates for Successfully Structuring Your Articles . . . . . . . Article Structure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Structuring By Chronology. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Structuring By “Need to Know” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Structuring By Location. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Structuring By Subject . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Structuring By Discussion of Issues . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Structuring By Quotations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Get to the Point . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Let Your Story Flow . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Transitions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Sidebars . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 24 24 25 25 26 27 27 28 28 28 32 6 The Introduction: Grab Your Readers’Interest with a Powerful Lead . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 33 34 34 35 36 Factual/News Lead . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Anecdotal Lead . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Location Lead . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Straight Statement of an Argument or Article Theme . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 3 Catchy Lead . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Question Lead . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Quotation Lead . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The “James Bond” Lead . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36 37 38 38 7 The Secrets of Writing Articles Readers Want to Read and Editors Want to Publish . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Maintain a “Golden Thread” Through Your Article . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Show, Don’ Tell Your Reader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . t Involve Your Reader . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Use Adjectives Sparingly . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Use Strong, Active Verbs . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Don’ Repeat Words Excessively . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . t Contractions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40 40 42 43 44 45 47 48 8 Creating a Strong Ending: Don't Let Your Story Just Fizzle Out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Conclusion Drawn From Points Made in the Article . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Return to a Point or Points Made in the Article . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Prediction of Future Events . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Quotation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Punchline . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50 50 51 52 52 52 9 Writing Pitfalls to Avoid . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Avoid Pomposity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Avoid Verbiage . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Avoid Clichés . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Avoid Platitudes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Avoid Excessive Use of Adjectives . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Avoid Over-Exaggeration . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Avoid Jargon . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Avoid “Fad” Words . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Avoid Tautology . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Don’ Bore . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . t Don’ Try to Cram Too Much into Your Story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . t Avoid Excessive Artistic Licence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Avoid Sounding Like an Encyclopaedia . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Avoid the Personal Travel Diary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Don’ Chase the “Best Grammar” Prize . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . t Get Your Facts Straight . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54 54 55 56 57 57 58 58 59 59 60 60 60 62 62 63 63 10 The Practicalities of Writing Your Article . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Getting Down to Writing . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Editing Process . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64 64 66 Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 4 68 Travel Writing That Sells 1 Introduction Are you itching to break into the glamorous world of travel writing – to see your name in glossy print and get invited onto fabulous VIP press trips that cost you only the taxi fare to the airport? The travel writing lifestyle is truly wonderful and romantic, but the only trouble is getting in – getting your work, and in particular your first article, published. Have you, like most novices, suffered large numbers of rejections from editors who simply don’ seem interested in carrying t your work? Virtually all novice writers have to go through this demoralising phase in their development. I did too. Now, for the savvy few, there is an alternative. You have in your possession a tried and tested blueprint for creating the perfect travel article – first time and every time. This blueprint reveals the secrets of many top travel writers – built up over years of experience and work in the field. You can now learn in a matter of weeks what it has taken most other writers many years to learn. Travel writing isn’ rocket science but there are certain t principles you need to learn and practice. The fundamental principles and proven techniques that we will show you here will fast track your travel writing career through the novice phase into the idyllic realm of the experienced, published travel writer, where your world awaits your every dream . . . 2 General Principles Travel writing is part reporting, part diary and part providing traveller information. Travel writers create their art using a multitude of different styles and techniques but the best stories generally share certain characteristics, notably: ? Clear writing style, without affectation, used by a writer who knows the point of the story, gets to it quickly and gets it across strongly and with brevity and clarity. Strong sense of the writer’ personality, ideally s demonstrating intelligence, wit and style. ? ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 5 ? ? Use of the writer’ personal experiences, other anecdotes s and quotations to add life to the piece. Vivid reporting - the ability of the writer to convey to readers, using as many of the senses as possible, the travel experience through the use of words alone. High literary quality and the accurate use of grammar and syntax. Meaty, practical and accurate information that is useful to the reader. Be Fresh ? ? Give your story a fresh point of view and, if at all possible, cover some out-of-the-ordinary subject matter. You must reach beyond the pure listings of information often provided by PR firms and tourist boards to travel writers as a matter of routine. Be creative in your writing. Strive for the best and strongest use of English and the most original and powerful metaphors and similes. Be Personal Take the personal approach. This doesn’ necessarily t mean writing in the first person, although this may be appropriate. Rather, take your own approach to a location you’ visited, an activity you’ tried or an adventure that ve ve thrilled you. What was it that really excited or inspired you? Identify it and get it across to your readers. To stand out from the crowd, your story must have a personal voice and point of view. Remember that most places you write about will already have been written about before. Your challenge is to find something new and original to say. Be Funny Travel writing should mostly have a light, bright, lively, and fun tone. Travel, the process of leaving the familiar to go to the foreign and unfamiliar, is often rich in comedy and comical events. Incorporate comedy into your writing where appropriate and don’ be afraid to make your readers laugh. t ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 6 Also don’ be afraid to incorporate mishaps into your t pieces. These can be just as worth reading about, maybe more so, particularly if they also incorporate an element of comedy or humour. Be Surprising Surprise your reader. Give the reader something out of the ordinary; something that only someone who has been to the location would know. Do this by trying unusual activities, meeting new people, and getting involved in strange scenes as you travel. You must be more than a passive observer reciting information as if from a guidebook. Be Balanced Travel writing must blend your personal observations, descriptions and commentary with practical information that is useful to your readers. The precise balance obviously depends on the outlet you’ aiming your story at but rarely re should a good travel piece comprise more facts than description. Two-thirds or even three-quarters colourful description to one-third or one-quarter facts would be a reasonable guideline to start from. Be a Quoter Work in quotes from visitors to locations, or participants in activities. Let them express their thoughts about how they feel about a place or activity. Quotes lift stories. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 7 3 The Basics of Good Writing Introduction In this chapter, we’ be brushing up your basic writing ll skills – the essentials of good writing – before moving on to show you how to apply these skills to construct top quality articles. Don’ panic. We’ not taking you back to school to t re delve further into the finer points of grammar and sentence constructions. We’ not going to talk about how to be re grammatically and word perfect every time - this isn’ t necessary and might even impair (yes impair) your writing. Instead, we’ going to show you those practical, often re simple, secrets, most of which aren’ covered in school t classes, that will elevate your writing to a quality that will always be a pleasure to read. We’ going to show you how re to write articles that editors will want to publish and readers will want to read. Write As You Talk Many inexperienced writers make the mistake of thinking that written communication and spoken communication are totally different forms. They speak in one voice, using one vocabulary and sentence construction; they write in a totally different voice using different words in different sentence constructions. They view writing as a more formal version of what is spoken. Using an analogy, they liken spoken communication to how they might talk to a good friend over a drink in a wine bar. The communication would be relaxed, informal and, when the situation permits, charged with emotion and feeling. In contrast, they liken written communication to how one might present a proposal to a potential client in a business situation. The communication would be terribly correct in all respects, formal and best kept devoid of emotions which might appear unprofessional or out of place. Thinking like this is the biggest mistake you could make. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 8 We’ talking about writing travel articles. These are re articles that people will hopefully look forward to reading because of the clarity with which they describe scenes and activities, and the relaxed, light-hearted way in which they convey information. We’ not talking about writing a re prospectus for a flotation which necessarily has to be stuffy and correct. Enlist The Help of a Good Friend When you’ writing an article it can often be a good re idea to imagine you’ talking to a good friend. re Picture this scene. You’ just visited an extraordinary ve destination on your travels and you’ telling a good friend re all about it. You want to describe all those details that made your trip so exciting and memorable. You want to explain to your friend exactly why they too should visit the destination for themselves. How would you describe your trip to your friend? What tone of voice would you adopt? Would it be lyrical or would you be speaking in a monotone? Would you be passionate or dispassionate? What words would you use? Capture the same tone and enthusiasm in your writing that you would have when talking to your friend. Don’ try to t create a new communication style just because you’ re “writing” rather than “talking”. If you can reproduce in your writing the same tone and style you use when talking to good friends about subjects that interest you, your writing will be very readable and very publishable. Keep It Simple Many inexperienced authors believe they will impress their readers by making their writing as erudite and as complicated as possible. They could not be more wrong. If you were writing a thesis for a doctorate or preparing a presentation to a potential client you might want to try to impress through the use of complex writing. But these are isolated and not very relevant examples. Writing is all about communication. You’ aiming to re communicate ideas and thoughts to your readers in a way they will be able to understand easily. You don’ want t readers to have to struggle to understand you. Writing to ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 9 impress or to try to appear intellectual will make you look worse rather than better. And don’ think you’ offend your audience by not t ll using complex language and difficult concepts in your articles. Keeping your writing clear and simple is not the same as talking down to your audience (which would be insulting). To communicate effectively you must keep your writing simple. Avoid using long words, long phrases and long sentences. Keep paragraphs short - generally one idea per paragraph. Use Short Sentences Short sentences are easy to read and understand. If you have several ideas to convey use several sentences. Don’ try t to cram everything into one sentence. Long sentences, which are often full of unnecessary words and phrases, or which simply try to encapsulate too many ideas or themes into a single sentence, and which often require a lot of punctuation as a result if they are to be at all intelligible, are much more tiring to read and have much greater scope to be misunderstood by your readers - if, that is, they are still reading by the end of the sentence. (Phew! did you catch all that?) I don’ think we need to say much more about keeping t sentences concise. Whilst not making sentences so short that they read like lists of points, use the shortest sentences possible to get across your story. Short sentences keep your reader moving along and this keeps them interested. When you want to make a new point start a new sentence. Use punctuation where necessary to maximise the clarity of your sentences. However, sentences shouldn’ be so t long that they would be unreadable or unclear without punctuation. Using too much punctuation, particularly where this is necessary for clarity, often indicates sentences that are too long. You will no doubt already have noticed that I am not particularly good at keeping my own sentences short. This is something every writer has to stay constantly alert to. You can always find a way to shorten lengthy sentences. Read ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 10 them through, read them through again and keep reading them through until you find the best point or points at which to break up a long sentence. For example: Sentences too long: Olive trees grow wild and in abundance on Sicily, which is one of Italy’ main orange growing regions and s produces 90 per cent of the lemon crop. The orange and lemon orchards are so large and prevalent that the scent of citrus blossoms fills much of the Sicilian countryside, which is also covered with grape vines, pistachios, hazelnuts, almonds, pine nuts and a vegetable crop which includes artichokes, onions, aubergines, broccoli, celery and, of course, tomatoes. (2 sentences; 76 words.) Better: Olive trees grow wild and in abundance on Sicily. The island is one of Italy’ main orange growing regions s and produces 90 per cent of the lemon crop. The orange and lemon orchards are so large and prevalent that the scent of citrus blossoms fills much of the Sicilian countryside. Grape vines, pistachios, hazelnuts, almonds and pine nuts also abound. The vegetable crop includes artichokes, onions, aubergines, broccoli, celery and, of course, tomatoes. (5 sentences; 73 words.) ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 11 Here’ another example: s Sentences too long: Santa Maria La Scala is a perfect hideaway for those seeking calm and sanctuary from the hustle and bustle of Sicilian city life and, huddled around its 17th century church, the village boasts a tobacconist, fishing tackle shop, ice cream parlour and no fewer than five restaurants. You can dine on the shaded, seaview terrace of Ristorante Al Morino (set on the promenade half-way between the base of the path from Acireale and the village centre) or at La Grotta di Strano or Don Giovanni (both on Via Scalo Grande in the village centre). (2 sentences; 94 words.) Better: Santa Maria La Scala is a perfect hideaway for those seeking calm and sanctuary from the hustle and bustle of Sicilian city life. Huddled around its 17th century church, the village boasts a tobacconist, fishing tackle shop, ice cream parlour and no fewer than five restaurants. Dine on the shaded, seaview terrace of Ristorante Al Morino, set on the promenade half-way between the base of the path from Acireale and the village centre. Alternatively try La Grotta di Strano or Don Giovanni, both on Via Scalo Grande in the village centre. (4 sentences; 91 words.) Use Short Paragraphs The guiding principle governing paragraph length is the same as that governing sentence length: keep paragraphs short. The principle isn’ quite as clear-cut with paragraphs t as it is with sentences, although using brief paragraphs is nevertheless a good way to aid clarity and ease of reading. In general, each paragraph should convey only one idea. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 12 Discuss that idea with a number of short sentences and when you’ ready to introduce your next idea, start a new re paragraph. Some writers even say it should be possible to skim-read a properly constructed piece just by reading the first sentence of each paragraph. They claim the first sentence of the paragraph should express the main idea being made in that paragraph, and that the other sentences should only clarify or qualify this idea. This is quite an elegant idea, particularly in more formal writing. However, it won’ be suitable in every travel writing t situation. In travel writing you sometimes want to build up to the point you want to make rather than state it at the outset and then expand on it. You might first want to paint an image or set a scene by using a quote or anecdote. In such cases making your main point in the opening sentence of a paragraph wouldn’ work. However, if part of your article is t more factual than descriptive, this might be a tidy way to construct it. Keep Your Writing Tight Keeping your writing tight is nothing more than making sure you don’ use more words than are necessary to make t the points you wish to convey. As a rule: be as concise as possible whilst retaining clarity and readability. Be constantly on guard and be ruthless in your culling of superfluous words and phrases. This requires the same discipline you need to keep sentences and paragraphs short. If words or phrases don’ contribute to what you want to say, t delete them. Avoid Starting Sentences with “It is”, “There is” or “There are” Starting sentences with “It is”, “There is” or “There are” is often inefficient and risks verbosity. Use such frills with great care, and only after much thought, and your writing will become more vibrant. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 13 For example: Awkward: It is the opinion of the catering manager that guests prefer to have a choice of starter at dinner. Better: The catering manager believes guests prefer to have a choice of starter at dinner. Here’ another example: s Awkward: There are some airlines which permit passengers with hand luggage only to check-in at fast-track desks. Better: Some airlines permit passengers with hand luggage only to check-in at fast-track desks. Watch Your Use of “That” Whenever you are tempted to use “that” in a sentence, pause and consider whether this is necessary. It often isn’ t. For example: Awkward: The car that I hired was excellent value. Better: The car I hired was excellent value. Here’ another example: s Awkward: The wildlife that I saw was brilliantly coloured. Better: The wildlife I saw was brilliantly coloured. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 14 Avoid “Which is” “Which is” is also often used in contexts where it contributes nothing to sentences. For example: Awkward: The hotel which is on the opposite shore of the cove is very secluded. Better: The hotel on the opposite shore of the cove is very secluded. Here’ another example: s Awkward: Riding through the Torres del Paine national park, which is one of the most spectacular in South America, you can encounter all four seasons in an afternoon. Better: Riding through the Torres del Paine national park, one of the most spectacular in South America, you can encounter all four seasons in an afternoon. Use the Active Voice The active voice exists where a person or thing is actively doing something. The passive voice exists where a person or thing is passively having something done to it. Use the active voice in your writing wherever possible. The active voice will bring energy, life and vitality to your writing whereas the passive voice sounds dull and lifeless. For example: Passive: The piano was being played by the boy. Active: The boy was playing the piano. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 15 Here’ another example: s Passive: It was taken for granted by the girl that things would turn out all right. Active: The girl took it for granted that things would turn out all right. Subtle Forms of the Passive Voice - 1 Be careful also to avoid the more subtle forms of the passive voice. Whenever you can ask “By whom?” or “By what?” in connection with a verb, that verb is in the passive. For example: Passive: The door was being opened. By whom?: The girl. Active: The girl was opening the door. Here’ another example: s Passive: The bag was being carried. By whom?: The man. Active: The man was carrying the bag. Here’ another example: s Passive: He was being blinded. By what?: The sun. Active: The sun was blinding him. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 16 Subtle Forms of the Passive Voice - 2 Any form of the verb “to be” (am, is, are, was, were, be, being, etc) followed by the past participle of a verb (these usually end in “ed”) is another indication of the passive voice. For example, is tried, were tried, will be tried, has been tried, etc are all in the passive voice. Four Steps to Banish the Passive Voice Forever (1) Put the Subject Before the Verb For example: Passive: When incoming flight schedules are met (verb) by airlines (subject), transit flights can be caught (verb) by passengers (subject). Active: When airlines (subject) meet (verb) incoming flight schedules, passengers (subject) can catch (verb) transit flights. Here’ another example: s Passive: When the main restaurant is filled (verb) by diners (subject), the door to the terrace is opened (verb) by waiters (subject). Active: When diners (subject) fill (verb) the main restaurant, waiters (subject) open (verb) the door to the terrace. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 17 (2) Shorten the Verb This technique won’ work with all verbs but look out t for opportunities to remove the passive voice and tighten up your writing by shortening your verbs. For example: Passive: The hotel was opened two years ago. Active: The hotel opened two years ago. Here’ another example: s Passive: The couple were married after a six-month engagement. Active: The couple married after a six-month engagement. (3) Choose an Active Verb Banishing the passive voice can sometimes be as simple as choosing a better, active verb in place of a passive one. For example: Passive: The fire door must be kept unlocked. Active: The fire door must remain unlocked. Here’ another example: s Passive: The home team was beaten by the away team. Active: The home team lost to the away team. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 18 (4) Speak Directly to Your Reader Address your reader directly and you’ automatically ll banish the passive voice. When you address your reader directly, you’ naturally use “you” and phrases like “you will ll see”, “you are able”, “you will be amazed”, etc. Irrespective of whether you actually use such phrases (which include “you”) in your writing, just adopting this tone of voice will help keep your writing in the active voice. This technique is similar to that of placing the subject before the verb in a sentence. When the sentence construction involves the subject “you”, you can’ really put t the subject after the verb and your sentences will always remain in the active voice. This technique has the added advantage that speaking directly to your reader will also make your writing much more energetic and readable. For example: Passive: The house is really to be enjoyed in the evening when candlelight kindles a warm glow in the wood beams. Active: Enjoy the house particularly in the evening when candlelight kindles a warm glow in the wood beams. Here’ another example: s Passive: The climb should not be attempted unless climbers are confident of their abilities. Active: Do not attempt the climb unless you are confident of your abilities. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 19 Here’ another example: s Passive: Excellent mountain restaurants are to be found throughout the ski area. Active: You will find excellent mountain restaurants throughout the ski area. Having said using “you” helps your piece speak directly to your reader, don’ overuse “You should.....” in your t writing as it will make your pieces unnecessarily wordy. Be Positive, Not Negative Positive writing is more appealing to read than negative writing. Most people like to read positive, upbeat writing rather than negative, critical writing. Inspire your readers by describing clearly why they should be interested in your subject. Convey your passion for your subject through your writing. Leave your readers in no doubt of your enthusiasm. Keep the Subject and Verb Close Together If you place too many words between the subject and the verb, your sentences will be difficult to read and you’ risk confusing ll your audience. For example: Subject and verb too far apart: The volcano’ massive outline (subject), sullen and s smouldering, particularly when smoking or providing its nightly fireworks shows, forms (verb) a spectacular backdrop to many Catania panoramas. Subject and verb close together: The volcano’ massive outline (subject) forms (verb) a sullen s and smouldering backdrop to many Catania panoramas, and is particularly spectacular when smoking or providing its nightly fireworks shows. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 20 Here’ another example: s Subject and verb too far apart: The three chefs (subject), who combined many years of culinary experience at Michelin-starred establishments throughout Europe and who each had their own specialities, worked (verb) together to prepare a fine feast. Subject and verb close together: The three chefs (subject) worked (verb) together to prepare a fine feast, each contributing specialities learnt from many years of culinary experience at Michelin-starred establishments throughout Europe. Keep Compound Verbs Together A compound verb is one that is composed of more than one element, for example may be, will have been, will go, will have gone, etc. The sense of a compound verb is unclear without all its components yet some writers place these far apart in their sentences. By putting too many words between the components of a compound verb, you are forcing your readers to hold the first part of the verb in their minds while they wait for the second part. This makes your writing tiring to read and potentially confusing. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 21 For example: Compound verb split: By this time next week I will (compound verb component), assuming I can finish writing this piece and there are no problems with booking flights, be lying (compound verb component) on a beach in the Maldives. Compound verb together: By this time next week I will be lying (compound verb) on a beach in the Maldives, assuming I can finish writing this piece and there are no problems with booking flights. Here’ another example: s Compound verb split: The time it takes to get through Cairo airport can (compound verb component), particularly if you aren’ t an Egyptian national and are one of the last to reach the immigration queue, seem (compound verb component) like an eternity. Compound verb together: The time it takes to get through Cairo airport can seem (compound verb) like an eternity, particularly if you aren’ an Egyptian national and are one of the last to t reach the immigration queue. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 22 4 Before You Sit Down to Write Identify Who You Are Writing For It is vitally important before you travel to consider which outlets your destination and story are likely to appeal to. If you return home from a press trip and have to start thinking about where you might place an article on that destination, it’ probably already too late. s Having identified which publications should be interested in your story, read plenty of travel articles in those publications to get a feel for their preferred writing and editorial style. Also obtain and study the writers’guidelines issued by these publications. Think Like Your Reader What you’ trying to achieve by studying past articles re and writers’guidelines is to get inside the minds of the readers of those publications. You want to develop as clear an impression as possible of what readers of those publications want to read, their travel aspirations, how they like articles written and what information they want to know. You want to be able to think like your reader. Only then will you be able to identify how you can help your reader. Only then should you start writing your article. The Big Picture: What is the Main Point You Want to Get Across to Your Reader? Good travel stories have a definite, central theme and it will greatly improve your writing if you can identify the central themes of your articles before you try to write them. This will also help minimise the risk of your articles becoming bland collections of facts. Decide at the outset what main point about a location or activity you want to convey to your reader. This is the “big picture” and you then work your impressions and facts around it. Identifying the big picture early on will also help you structure your piece sensibly and help you decide what information you need to include and, equally importantly, what you can and should leave out. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 23 5 Templates for Successfully Structuring Your Articles Article Structure Most people will remember from English classes at school that every good piece of writing should have a beginning, a middle and an end. This is one of the few techniques taught in schools that has practical relevance to feature writing. However, within this “beginning-middle-end” framework you can adopt any of a number of logical structures to construct your travel stories. The most appropriate structure to use in each case will depend on the type of article you are producing. A feature on a destination probably wouldn’ be structured in the same way as a “howt to” piece on, say, horseriding or climbing. A profile of a hotel will differ in structure from a chronological account of a cruise. Here are some proven ways to structure travel pieces. Bear in mind that articles can be successfully structured in many different ways and that these are for illustration only (please don’ feel that your stories must fit into one of these t categories): ? ? ? ? ? ? By chronology By need to know By location By subject By discussion of issues By quotations. Structuring By Chronology A chronological structure tells your story in a “this happened, then that happened.....” fashion. Adopting this structure can be as simple as starting your first paragraph: “First.....”, the next paragraph: “Second.....”, and so on. If the experience you are describing follows clear and logical ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 24 timelines, this can be a good way to frame your piece. Another way to employ a chronological structure is to use “time” words in your piece such as “before”, “now”, “after”, “two years ago”, “in two years’time”, etc. Your story doesn’ need to develop in strict chronological order. The t “time” words themselves will link your paragraphs in the correct order. Structuring By “Need to Know” By “need to know” we mean our good friends “who?”, “what?”, “where?”, “when?”, “why?” and “how?”. You can structure travel pieces using this framework although such structures are usually more appropriate for high news content features rather than more descriptive pieces. If you choose to use this framework you would probably re-order the questions to emphasise those that are most important for the points you wish to make. If you wished to emphasise the timing of a trip, for example, you would probably lead by discussing “when?”; if you wished to emphasise the practicalities of a trip, you might lead with “how?”, and so on. Structuring By Location Structuring a travel piece by location is a sensible approach where your story discusses a number of destinations which are linked by the theme of your article. You can lead with the highlight of your story and follow this up with other locations. However, if you structure your article in this way be careful to retain sufficient strength in the latter paragraphs, otherwise your article risks fizzling out weakly. The alternative is to build up to the highlight of your piece by describing a number of other locations first and then relating the highlight to these earlier locations. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 25 For example: “All the lonely lakes we'd seen thus far were perhaps only preparing us for the most sensational sight of all Laguna Verde.” Building up to a high point can be a good structure to use. However, take care to ensure your lead isn’ too t weakened by you saving your best till last. If your lead is weakened as a result, there’ a risk you will have lost your s readers before they reach the climax of your story. If you use a location structure make sure your article doesn’ end up reading like a guidebook listing (unless, of t course, it is supposed to be a listing of facts with very little else). It’ an easy trap to fall into, particularly if you try to s cover too many locations. You need facts on the locations you are describing but you must also ensure you leave enough room in your story to provide sufficient colour and imagery. Structuring By Subject You might structure a piece around subjects, for example, to describe: the best eco-friendly adventure activities to be had in a rainforest; the best activity weekend breaks in the south of France; or the ten “don’ miss” things t to do on a particular island. Group items together sensibly within a subject. For example, if your article describes a number of watersports and some land-based activities, it would usually make sense to keep the watersports together and the land-based activities together. This way you can link items together with simple, logical transitions such as: ? ? ? “For watersports junkies, you can also.....” “If that doesn’ satisfy your need for thrills in the water, t you can.....” “For those who prefer their adventures on dry land you can.....” By grouping activities in logical combinations your ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 26 article won’ end up jumping between subjects unnecessarily t and your story will flow much better. As with structuring your article by location, take care not to include so many facts about activities that you don’ leave enough room for t descriptions of the destination. Structuring By Discussion of Issues Articles discussing specific issues are often best structured by points of view. For example, a story examining the impact of tourism on a traditional, indigenous lifestyle would need to consider a number of issues, such as: ? Do the indigenous people wish to maintain their traditional lifestyles or would they rather modernise their way of life? If they wish to modernise, what investment is required? What methods are open to them to earn the money they need for development? How do they view tourists arriving in their villages and pointing cameras in their faces? ? ? ? You simply place the points you wish to discuss in a logical order and then deal with each in turn, for example: Introduce Issue 1; Arguments in favour of Issue 1; Arguments against Issue 1; Introduce Issue 2.....etc. Under each issue, you set out the position, perhaps by using anecdotes, and set out the arguments, perhaps by using quotes. This technique is simpler than it might at first seem and it’ very effective. s Structuring By Quotations You can build up an article around a framework of quotations just as you can around a framework of issues. If you have managed to secure a number of strong, punchy quotes you might well want to structure your piece so that you can make full use of them. Quotes also provide excellent sub-headings or “pull-outs” which editors can use to break up the printed page or emphasise points that capture the essence of the piece. When trying to make use of every good quote you have ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 27 secured, don’ end up jumping around your story too much. t You don’ have as much control over quotations as you do t over, say, issues. Interviewees decide what they want to say so you may or may not have suitable quotes to illustrate every point you want to make. If you don’ have sufficient, suitable quotes to frame t your story in a logical fashion, don’ force your structure to t follow the sequence of quotes. To do so might reduce clarity of your piece or impose confusing changes of direction on your readers. Get to the Point Don’ spend too much time getting from your lead to the t core of what you want to say. You’ ruin even the most ll powerful lead by waffling on for too long about various items while your readers wait keenly for information on the subject that hooked them on the idea of reading your story in the first place. Let Your Story Flow Your story should flow naturally and logically. Each sentence and each paragraph should follow logically into the next. An answer should follow a question. An effect should follow a cause. A quote or anecdote should prove or illustrate a point. Your story shouldn’ jump backwards and forwards t between ideas, locations or items of information. Cover each issue you wish to discuss and move on to the next issue. If you have an after-thought about a point, write it where you covered the item initially, not as a separate sentence or paragraph further on. Review the sequence of your outline structure to ensure it is logical and flows naturally. If necessary, re-order your paragraphs or re-consider whether the points you want to make fit sensibly in the same article. Transitions Good writing should flow effortlessly and do everything it can to carry the reader along with it. Sentences should follow each other in logical sequence, linked by smooth transitions. Each paragraph should glance back to the one ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 28 before to make sure the reader is keeping up with the train of thought. Sentences and paragraphs can be linked in any of the following ways: ? ? ? ? Repeated term Synonym Pronoun Transition. The secret of creating effective transitions is to “look back” early. Place linking words or phrases (repeated term, synonym, pronoun or transition) early in sentences and paragraphs so that they can most effectively refer back to the sentences and paragraphs that preceded them. Repeated Term Repeating a key term from the previous sentence is the easiest way to continue a theme. Here are two examples: “Many rooms offer uninterrupted sea views through large glass doors and some even have private gardens. Rooms in detached outbuildings offer even greater seclusion.” “Ice lined much of the lake’ shores and the surface was s partially frozen. The lake’ coloration is caused by s micro-organisms and a high ochre level.” Note how early in the second sentences the linking words (“rooms” in the first example and “lake” in the second) are placed. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 29 Synonym Using a synonym to link sentences together is similar to repeating a term and avoids the risk of repetition. Here are two examples: “Yet despite its wonderfully romantic setting, many guests visit the Inn more for the two Michelin star cooking. The menu is largely fixed although individual dislikes are catered for and you will not have the same course on more than one night of your stay (although you might wish to).” “Ask for a south-facing room or enjoy the same panorama taking tea and cake in the comfortable drawing room. The scene across the valley, particularly on a sunny afternoon, is breathtaking.” Pronoun Here are two examples that use pronouns to link sentences together: “If somebody suggested opening an exclusive haute cuisine restaurant hotel on the far shore of an isolated Scottish loch which could only be reached by boat, you might think they were mad. But this is exactly what Fred Brown and Gunn Eriksen did when they opened Altnaharrie Inn in 1976.” “We spent the first night in the small village of San Juan. It was an uneventful experience except for an exhausting game of high altitude football played in the fading gloom of the altiplano evening.” ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 30 Transition Transitions maintain a link to the preceding sentence or paragraph without directly mentioning terms (repeated, synonym or pronoun). In this way transitions allow you to change direction (sometimes dramatically) whilst minimising the risk of losing your reader in the process. Examples of transitions include: ? ? ? ? ? ? “And that’ not all.....” s “But it gets better.....” “But there’ a catch.....” s “By contrast.....” “On the other hand.....” “What you can do instead is.....” Here are two examples showing the use of transitions: “In Germany, for example, producing an equivalent amount of power using a solar system is much more expensive than using the existing grid. Solar systems there are justified not on economic grounds but on the basis that solar power produces no carbon emissions. ‘ contrast,’says Beckett, ‘ By given the great size of Bolivia and the favourable geographical and climatic conditions it enjoys.....’ ” “Additionally, subsidies are generally given against installation costs only and exclude maintenance charges. Recipients of such subsidised systems might not be able to afford the ongoing costs. Systems falling into disrepair from a lack of maintenance would squander the initial subsidies. A far better option according to Beckett is.....” ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 31 Sidebars To maximise the readability and saleability of your writing, your pieces should comprise your main copy plus extra nuggets of information that can be presented in “sidebars”. These are boxes of lists, tips and other travel facts that can add more life to the printed page and also make it easier for readers to extract practical information. Some publications use only a single block of copy but most editors love to use sidebars. Apart from “Travel Facts”, examples of other sidebars you might consider using include: ? For an article on skiing: ? Recommendations of the best skis Information on other gadgets such as altimeter watches and avalanche transceivers The best mountain restaurants in the region Specialist courses available Non-skiing activities in the area. For an article on buying overseas farmhouse properties: Lists of recommended property brokers Key points of local property laws List of do’ and don’ s. s t’ ? For an article on trekking in the Himalayas: Recommendations of the best equipment, such as walking boots, jackets and fleeces Tips on how to prepare for high altitude trekking Tips on how to acclimatise successfully in the shortest time Suggestions for high energy snacks to take with you Listing of local charitable projects visitors could contribute to. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 32 6 The Introduction: Grab Your Readers’ Interest with a Powerful Lead You literally have a matter of seconds in which to grab and hold onto your readers’ interest and compel them to carry on reading your article. The first weapon at your disposal to help you do this is your article title. Your title must be catchy and we discussed how to create great titles in Part Two. Possibly more important than the title of your article is your lead. This is the first one or two paragraphs and it’ here s where you’ firmly grab your readers’attention with a strong ll promise of what is to follow, and where you’ set the tone of ll your piece. If you fail to grab your readers’attention here, you’ lose them, possibly irretrievably. They’ move on and ll ll read something else. Your leads must be fresh and original and written in a tight, punchy style. They must provide a clear promise of the benefits to the reader of reading your article. Such benefits might include new information or a new perspective on a location, the description of an exciting travel experience or the discussion of an activity your readers are passionate about. Whatever your promise, it must entice your readers to read on with enthusiasm and expectation. You can use many imaginative ways to structure a lead although most fall into distinct categories: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Factual/News lead Anecdotal lead Location lead Straight statement of an argument or article theme Catchy lead Question lead Quotation lead The “James Bond” lead. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 33 Factual/News Lead You can use a statement of relevant facts to paint a picture for your readers of what is to follow in your article. Here is an example of a factual/news lead: From “La Paz, Bolivia - Live in The World’ Highest s Capital Rent Free”, reprinted courtesy of Escape From America Magazine. “Bolivia is the highest and most isolated country in Latin America. It offers vast, snow-capped Andean peaks, spectacular canyons and huge expanses of high plains and lush, unexplored rainforest. It is the most Indian country in South America and its culture reflects a rich Inca heritage. Being little visited and pristine, Bolivia offers visitors a fascinating and genuine glimpse of South American life. La Paz is Bolivia’ principal city and, at 3,600m, is the s world’ highest capital. The drive from the airport is s unforgettable. You bump along poor roads passing slums and endless markets until, rounding a corner, the ground suddenly falls away dramatically on one side and the great bowl of La Paz unfolds before you. Illimani’ three peaks at 6,400m dominate the horizon s majestically while all around, the Andes stand out in incredible clarity. If work or travels take you to Bolivia for longer than a few weeks, you may want to investigate the local property market to search for that dream house or apartment. But are market conditions currently favourable for residential property hunters, and is it better to rent or to buy?” Anecdotal Lead You can recount a short story or scene-setting incident as a way to introduce your article. The story or incident should reflect or illustrate a central theme of your article. Here is an example of an anecdotal lead: ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 34 From “The Lost World”, reprinted courtesy of Travel Watch. “The trip started unpromisingly with my rucksack not arriving with the rest of the group’ luggage at Caracas s airport. During the drive to the hotel I carried out a quick inventory to work out what was missing: sleeping bag, sleeping mat, waterproofs, fleece, water bottle... I was short of some fairly important items. However, thoughts of lost luggage didn’ dampen too t much the excitement and anticipation of finally arriving in South America to undertake the journey I had first seen described almost ten years earlier through a spectacular series of photographs in the pages of ‘ National Geographic’ .” Location Lead A location lead takes your reader directly to the destination of your article. You hit the reader immediately with a powerful image. Here is an example of a location lead: From “Lazio: Hidden Charms of the Other Tuscany”, reprinted courtesy of Travel Watch. “Rolling, verdant hills. Fortified medieval towns guarded by sentinel watchtowers. Papal palaces. Franciscan monasteries clinging to precipitous cliffs. These are the images visitors chase in busy Tuscany and Umbria. But you can find all these with far fewer tourists in Lazio, the undiscovered region which surrounds Rome.” ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 35 Straight Statement of an Argument or Article Theme This is another example of a direct lead. You make a statement or claim upfront, usually of the main theme of your story, and proceed to justify it. Here is an example of leading with a straight statement of an argument or theme: From “Off on the Right Foot”, reprinted courtesy of France Today. “France is paradise for hikers. It offers an extraordinary variety of landscapes and experiences -from the historic route to the mountain hike, from peaceful Bourgogne to rugged Savoie -- and yet it is on a human scale. Hiking in France doesn’ feel like being t on the Oregon Trail.” Catchy Lead You sometimes get the opportunity to be a little clever in your introductions. You might not have planned to create a catchy lead but maybe something ignited in your mind to give you a daring opening paragraph. Use it by all means but make sure it is clever, doesn’ offend and is sufficiently clear t that readers will get the point. Here is an example of a catchy lead: From “Romantic Hideaways - UK”, reprinted courtesy of Travel Watch. “You and your beloved need to get away. You’ just ve eloped, you’ having an illicit affair and need to re escape jealous partners or perhaps you simply need to withdraw to an enchanting, sleepy hideaway where even the combined forces of Sherlock Holmes and Inspector Morse would have difficulty tracking you down. You need somewhere that’ intimate, idyllically picturesque, s totally secluded and, above all, oh so romantic. You’ ll be hard pushed to beat any of the following.” ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 36 Question Lead Question leads can work well. Most people enjoy puzzles and quizzes, particularly when the answers are provided! Here is an example of a question lead: From “Ski Like a Pro in a Week”, reprinted courtesy of Travel Watch. “Are you one of the many recreational skiers continually frustrated by an inability to progress beyond intermediate level into the realms of the advanced and expert skier? Many skiers find that such an ‘ intermediate plateau’is reached, often after only two or three seasons’skiing. While skiers at this level often tackle increasingly difficult slopes, their technique and enjoyment levels usually don’ manage to keep up, t particularly in non-ideal skiing conditions such as poor light, ice or deep snow. If this all sounds very familiar, you’ not alone and you’ be relieved to know that re ll help is on hand in the uniquely effective form of acknowledged skiing ‘ guru’Ali Ross.” Here is another example of a question lead which is slightly different in that it starts with three possible, but incorrect, answers before revealing the original question and correct answer: From “Sicilian Gastronomy”, reprinted courtesy of Travel Watch. “No, it isn’ the glistening deep azure seas that t surround Sicily or the island’ hauntingly-beautiful s landscapes. Neither is it Sicily’ extraordinary wealth of s classical ruins and cultural treasures. Unbelievably, it isn’ even the Mafia ‘ t offers you can’ refuse’ t immortalised by Francis Ford Coppola’ trilogy of s Godfather films. What is Sicily’ most notable claim to s fame? Answer: gastronomy! Sounds impossible? Well, consider three important facts:.....” ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 37 Quotation Lead Direct and indirect quotation leads are often the simplest forms of introduction to construct. Here is an example of a quotation lead: From “The Secret of the Seas”, reprinted courtesy of Condé Nast Traveller. “‘ Andamans?’People frowned like quiz The questionees. ‘ Now just remind me . . .’Two hours’ flight from Madras, a jigsaw scatter of islands emerged from the haze on the blue-green Bay of Bengal. Below the starboard wing lay the dark square shape of North Sentinel Island, one of the world’ last mysterious s places, its people the guardians of an ancient enigma.” The “James Bond” Lead I love this one. Have you noticed how all “James Bond” films use the same starting format? The super-agent is away on one of his ultra-dangerous missions and is immediately immersed in a highly charged action sequence that grabs the viewer’ attention. After the initial burst of action, the film s then calms down to introduce the main plot of the film. You can use exactly the same format in your travel writing and it can be highly effective. Take one of the most gripping elements of your story and use it right upfront as your lead. For this lead to work, it doesn’ need to be high t action drama (although it helps) although it must be strong enough to grab your reader’ attention and not release it until s you are ready to move on. Here is an example of a “James Bond” lead: From “Rafting Panama’ Rio Chiriqui”, reprinted s courtesy of “GoNomad”. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 38 “My whitewater rafting career is almost an hour old. So far so good. We paddle our way confidently towards the Bajo Mendez rapids which, to the untrained eye, look no different from any of the other rapids we have already successfully negotiated. But the side of our raft hits the gigantic rock in the centre of the frothing channel and flips over. With virtually no warning I’ in the water m and under the capsized craft. Struggling for orientation. Struggling for something to grasp onto. Struggling for breath. Welcome to rafting on Panama’ Rio Chiriqui!” s Here’ another example of a “James Bond” lead: s From “Catch and Cook at Glacier Bay’ Bear Track s Inn”, reprinted courtesy of “GoNomad”. “Being eaten by a bear wasn’ in the script. I was t supposed to be the hunter gatherer on this trip! I had come to Bear Track Inn in Alaska’ Glacier Bay to s “Catch and Cook” the region’ bountiful seafood. But s here I was half a mile from the lodge and I have just spooked a black bear. In the distance I see a second bear sneak into a dense bush close to the path I was following home. All I have for company is a young, excitable retriever much more interested in chasing birds than sniffing out let alone frightening off bears. The meagre bright side seems to be that the Bear Track Inn has been thoughtfully and accurately named.” ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 39 7 The Secrets of Writing Articles Readers Want to Read and Editors Want to Publish Maintain a “Golden Thread” Through Your Article You’ hooked your reader with your lead. Now what? ve You now have to follow through and deliver on the promise - to inform, to enchant, to transport the reader to a fascinating location, etc -- which enticed your reader to stay with your story. Keep coming back to and reminding your reader of your original promise. This is the “golden thread” that should gently hold your article together. Deliver benefits for your reader, sentence after sentence and paragraph after paragraph. All the while, remind your reader why they’ re reading your article. Here is an example of what we mean by maintaining a “golden thread” through your story. This is an extract taken from “Ski Like a Pro in a Week”, reprinted courtesy of Travel Watch. We’ already looked at the lead used in this ve article but let’ continue a little further. s The writer makes a bold promise in the title - a promise that’ highly likely to hook a casual reader who’ interested s s in improving their skiing technique quickly and easily (readers love quick fixes provided they work!). After explaining the technical difficulties often suffered by skiers, which many readers would probably be able to relate to, the writer explains how traditional ski teaching doesn’ work and how these revolutionary new techniques t do. What’ more, these new ski teaching techniques are not s only more effective, but they’ also easier to learn. Do these re new teaching techniques really work? A no lesser authority than the local ski school seems to think so. And, what’ s more, the writer can personally vouch for the effectiveness of these revolutionary techniques. “Are you one of the many recreational skiers continually frustrated by an inability to progress beyond intermediate level into the realms of the advanced and expert skier? Many skiers find that such an ‘ intermediate plateau’is reached, often after only two or three seasons’skiing. While skiers at this level often tackle increasingly difficult slopes, their technique and ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 40 enjoyment levels usually don’ manage to keep up, t particularly in non-ideal skiing conditions such as poor light, ice or deep snow. If this all sounds very familiar, you’ not alone and you’ be relieved to know that re ll help is on hand in the uniquely effective form of acknowledged skiing ‘ guru’Ali Ross. The teaching of many traditional ski schools seems confined to constant urgings to ‘ bend ze knees’ combined with various exercises involving exaggerated weighting and unweighting of the skis and pole planting. Years of such teaching often fail to produce significant improvements in technique. Using totally different teaching methods, Ali demonstrates how it is the ski, when placed onto its edge, that should turn the skier and not the skier that turns the ski. This ‘ carving’technique that Ali teaches can, in the space of a few turns, induce the remarkable sensation of skiing as if on rails, so stable can such turns feel. Ali explains that the same carving technique should be used irrespective of terrain and mountain conditions. This is borne out as we encounter the full spectrum of skiing conditions ranging from days of glorious, fresh snow in brilliant sunshine to days when it’ snowing so s heavily it’ occasionally not possible to see beyond the s tips of our skis! It’ in difficult skiing conditions that the benefits of s Ali’ teaching will most be appreciated. In good s conditions, where skiers don’ need to carve but can t ‘ skid’their turns, it’ easy for intermediates to hide s deficiencies in their technique. However, in deep snow or on ice, carving turns is crucial and, once learnt, will open up the mountains in conditions you never previously thought possible to ski. Ali is based in Tignes in France, a high and snow-sure resort forming one half of the majestic Espace Killy. Ali’ teaching methods were initially frowned upon by s the local ski school which, whilst agreeing that carving is the proper way to ski, considered carving the preserve of racers and not something recreational skiers should concern themselves with. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 41 The local ski school is gradually coming round to Ali’ s way of thinking. This is just as well since carving is not only the most effective way to ski but also an easy technique to learn under Ali’ watchful guidance. By s simply understanding a few basic principles and practising a handful of exercises, just about anyone can learn how to ski with proper technique in less than a week. I am living proof of the effectiveness of Ali’ s teaching methods and was amazed at the dramatic improvement in my technique, even after the first session.” Show, Don’ Tell Your Reader t This is one of the most important writing secrets to learn. Don’ fall into the trap of trying to tell the reader about t a location. Don’ say this was great, that was great, this was t not so great, this was poor, etc..... (even if you use the most powerful, enticing words to make these points). People don’ t like being told information in this manner. Readers much prefer you to show them the location so that they can decide for themselves. You do this by taking your reader to the location and letting them experience it for themselves. Give your reader accurate descriptions rather than your opinions (no matter how certain you are that you’ re right). Illustrate your story with details which demonstrate the points you are making. Involve your reader by using anecdotes and examples. Quote people in the story, directly and indirectly. By showing rather than telling in your writing, you’ rell create in your readers’ minds the world you travelled through and let them experience it with their own senses. This approach is so much more preferable than you simply telling your readers what you saw and imposing your conclusions on them. For example, don’ say: “The sun shone brilliantly,” or t “The main course was delicious.” These might be perfectly accurate descriptions but they’ weak and don’ explain to re t the reader why you are reaching these conclusions. Instead of saying: “The sun shone brilliantly,” consider ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 42 instead: “The sun shone so brightly even the grazing sheep sought shelter under trees,” or “The sun was so bright we needed sunglasses at breakfast.” Instead of saying: “The main course was delicious,” consider instead: “The succulence and flavour of the meat justified sacrificing many more of the previous offerings than I had managed.” I’ sure you can come up with better suggestions than m these. But what I hope these examples demonstrate is that you can paint a much more vivid picture by describing an observation or passing on an anecdote than you can by forcing a conclusion on your reader. Present the facts and let the reader decide on the conclusion. Superlatives Pay particular attention to the use of superlatives (“the best”, “the highest”, “the grandest”, etc). When using superlatives you’ in danger once again of telling rather than re showing your reader the situation. Consider carefully whether there isn’ a better or more accurate way to convey the sense t of the superlative by describing the situation rather than claiming it to be the best, longest, or whatever. Involve Your Reader Your aim is to produce articles that come to life in the minds of your readers. We’ already mentioned how you ve can involve your readers by speaking to them personally. Consider using “you” in your constructions if this is the style adopted by publications you are targeting for your piece. Even if these publications don’ speak so directly to their t readers by using “you”, it is nevertheless possible to capture the same sense (as if you were using “you”) through directness of your writing style. Strong travel stories are personal, original and literary, rather than dry, lifeless guidebook recountings of where and what. Readers want to experience the sense of magic and wonder -- or even squalor -- of a destination. They want to understand what it really means to go there. They want to know how they might be changed by undertaking the journey. We’ already stressed how important it is to intersperse ve ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 43 your writing with generous quantities of quotations, personal experiences and other anecdotes. This will enhance the vividness of your descriptions and will further draw your readers into your writing. Involve your readers’senses and describe to them what it feels like, smells like and tastes like to be at the destination. Avoid clichéd descriptions and adjective overload..... Use Adjectives Sparingly Many adjectives such as “wonderful”, “fantastic”, “lovely”, “interesting” and “cute” have lost much of their meaning through abuse and overuse. In many, although not all, circumstances, using such adjectives will add little other than padding to your pieces. Even worse, many editors now dread reading any more references to “majestic mountains”, “golden sunlight” and “quaint villages”. You must find better ways of describing situations than wheeling out the muchabused, hackneyed adjectives. By simply hurling a barrage of adjectives at your reader (even if they are quality, meaningful adjectives), what you are doing is telling the situation to your reader. You are telling your reader the sunset was beautiful, the valley was gorgeous, the lake was pretty, etc. As we have already stressed, what you should be doing instead is showing the situation to your reader. Good writing lays the facts before the reader and allows the reader to draw their own conclusions. The author doesn’ t prescribe what conclusions the reader should reach. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 44 Use Strong, Active Verbs Compare these two passages of text paying particular attention to the underlined words (the passages are otherwise identical). Which is better? Why? Example 1: “It was early morning on 24th July 2000 and Alberto Olivera was driving his minibus along the treacherous mountain road from La Paz to Coroico. Passing the notorious San Juan section, where the rough surface was still wet from a nearby waterfall, he saw fresh tyre tracks that went abruptly off the unprotected edge. Alberto knew at once that this was the scene of yet another tragedy. This time a high tonnage lorry had fallen over the precipice in broad daylight and its shattered wreckage was scattered in the steep wooded valley far below. Alberto and his passengers did what they could to help but 22 of the lorry’ 29 passengers s were dead. The shock was that seven survived. Starting high in the rarefied Bolivian Andes, this steep and bumpy road descends almost 3,600 metres of vertical in covering the spectacular 64km to the lush, sub-tropical Yungas region and the sleepy town of Coroico. The narrow -- occasionally very narrow -track drives along the sheer valley side as it passes through dramatic, verdant scenery. Driving beneath waterfalls and rocky overhangs, an unprotected drop-off to near certain death is a constant travel companion.” ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 45 Example 2: “It was early morning on 24th July 2000 and Alberto Olivera was manoeuvring his minibus along the treacherous mountain road from La Paz to Coroico. Rounding the notorious San Juan section, where the rough surface was still wet from a nearby waterfall, he saw fresh tyre tracks that veered abruptly off the unprotected edge. Alberto knew at once that this marked the scene of yet another tragedy. This time a high tonnage lorry had plummeted over the precipice in broad daylight and its shattered wreckage lay scattered in the steep wooded valley far below. Alberto and his passengers did what they could to help but 22 of the lorry’ 29 passengers lay dead. The shock was that s seven survived. Starting high in the rarefied Bolivian Andes, this steep and bumpy road plunges almost 3,600 metres of vertical in travelling the spectacular 64km to the lush, subtropical Yungas region and the sleepy town of Coroico. The narrow -- occasionally very narrow -track hugs the sheer valley side as it snakes through dramatic, verdant scenery. Twisting beneath waterfalls and rocky overhangs, an unprotected drop-off to near certain death is a constant travel companion.” Hopefully you’ agree that the second passage is far ll more powerful and compelling to read than the first. Why? Example 2 uses far stronger verbs than Example 1: ? Compare “the road descends almost 3,600 metres of vertical” with “the road plunges almost 3,600 metres of vertical”. Compare “the road passes through dramatic, verdant scenery” with “the road snakes through dramatic, verdant scenery”. Compare “driving beneath waterfalls and rocky overhangs” with “twisting beneath waterfalls and rocky overhangs”. ? ? ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 46 Strong, active verbs add life and colour to your writing. Use them rather than adjectives to give your stories vibrancy and power. “To be” or Not “To Be” The verb “to be” is one of the weakest in the English language. Remember we mentioned in Part Four that the use of any form of “to be” often signifies the passive voice which further weakens your writing. Use strong, quality verbs and you’ banish the passive voice and breathe greater vibrancy ll into your work. Don’ Repeat Words Excessively t We all have favourite words we tend to use over and over again. We might repeat the same words in different contexts out of habit, or we might just carelessly repeat certain words in the same context. For example, we might have a tendency to always describe tropical islands as “dreamy” or “idyllic”, or we might describe difficult ski runs as “plunging”. You have two very good friends on your word processing program to help you avoid repeating words excessively: ? ? Search function Thesaurus. Search function The search function on your computer can be very useful in helping you identify any words repeated too often in your text. For example, if you’ producing an article on the Grand re Canyon, it would be perfectly natural to be drawn towards using words like “yawning”, “steep”, “spectacular”, “plunging”, etc. When you have your draft article, run a search for “steep”. Let’ say you’ used it five times and no s ve matter how hard you try, “steep” is the sense you wish to communicate in each of the five instances. However, repeating the same adjective so many times is excessive. You either need to find another way to make the point that the canyon is “steep”, for example by using a quotation, ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 47 metaphor or simile, or else you need to use a different word which conveys the same meaning as “steep”. If you need help in finding a different word with the same meaning, you need to use your..... Thesaurus When you carry out a thesaurus search on a word, it will list words which have similar meanings to the word you have chosen. For example, a thesaurus search on “bold” will show: “courageous”, “confident”, “brave”, “daring”, “intrepid”, “fearless”, “gallant”, etc. Using your thesaurus is an excellent way to find alternative words for any you might have overused in your article. Returning to our Grand Canyon example, a thesaurus search on “steep” would arm you with possibilities including “sheer” and “precipitous”. This would enable you to use “steep” once or twice and also throw in a “sheer”, “precipitous” or even “plunging” to add more variety and impact to your copy. I also find the thesaurus extremely helpful in identifying the best word to use in certain contexts where I know what I want to say, I know there’ a perfect word to say it with, but I s just can’ think of the word. If I’ stuck in this way, I type in t m the closest word I can and then let the thesaurus do the rest. It works just about every time. Contractions Using contractions can be a good way to add emphasis to your writing and can make it easier and more natural to read. For example, use “don’ instead of “do not” and “I’ t” m” instead of “I am”. The contracted forms are stronger, more direct and flow better. Look at these two sentences, which differ only in the use of contractions: Slightly stilted: “Do not miss the lobster,” advised the chef, although for me it is the fresh fish on the menu that is truly unmissable. Better: “Don’ miss the lobster,” advised the chef, t although for me it’ the fresh fish on the menu that’ s s truly unmissable. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 48 I hope you’ agree that the version which uses ll contractions is more readable and flows much better. We’ not suggesting you use contractions at every re opportunity. You’ need to decide whether a contraction is ll or isn’ appropriate in each instance and you’ probably end t ll up using a combination of full forms and contractions. But please don’ use full forms all the time just because that’ t s what you’ used to from school classes or formal business re writing. Remember the advice we gave in Part Four that you should write as you talk? Do you use full forms or contractions when you talk? Enough said! ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 49 8 Creating a Strong Ending: Don’ Let Your t Story Just Fizzle Out Most stories arrive naturally at a logical conclusion. Reaching this point will allow you to bow out of your article gracefully and sensibly, and without leaving your reader up in the air. If you identified clearly the main points of your story before you started writing, and if you structured your piece so as to include all these points, you’ know when you reach the ll conclusion of your piece. And when you reach the conclusion? Stop writing. Don’ waste your endings by summarising points you t made earlier in your article. There should be no need to summarise if your earlier writing was sufficiently clear and punchy and conveyed all the information your readers need. If you feel you must summarise in your ending, do so very succinctly, in one or at most two sentences. Your ending must be an ending. It must give the impression of closure. Under no circumstances should your article fizzle out weakly, as if the writer had just run out of energy to continue. The following are some techniques for creating effective endings. Please note, however, that it is not as easy to place endings into distinct categories as it is leads, and there are many other types of highly effective ending: ? ? ? ? ? Conclusion drawn from points made in the article Return to a point or points made in the article Prediction of future events Quotation Punchline. Conclusion Drawn From Points Made in the Article Here is an example of an ending which draws a conclusion from points made earlier in the article. The article ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 50 describes an adventurous journey to the isolated lakes and volcanoes of southwestern Bolivia. The story ends with the author facing a long and arduous return journey. But, happily, he has enjoyed the trip so much and has so many vivid memories that the rough, bumpy return drive won’ be a t problem. From “Bolivia’ Enchanting Land of Lakes and s Volcanoes”, reprinted courtesy of Travel Watch. “ . . . At this point, some jeeps headed across the frozen shores towards the Chilean border. For us, when we'd finally pulled ourselves away from the spell-binding panorama, our route would take us back north across the barren plains towards Uyuni. The return journey would be long and arduous, frequently bone-shaking and head-smacking along the dusty and bumpy terrain. But having experienced some truly magical moments in this enchanting, lonely corner of Bolivia, we didn't complain.” Return to a Point or Points Made in the Article Here is an example of an ending which returns to a number of points made earlier in the article. The article argues that gastronomy is Sicily’ greatest claim to fame s because of the island’ hot, sunny climate, fertile volcanic s soil and the diverse gastronomic influences imported by the many invaders of the past. The ending returns to pay homage to the volcano and the many historical invaders for the great good they have done for Sicily’ cuisine. s From “Sicilian Gastronomy”, reprinted courtesy of Travel Watch. “ . . . The widely-acclaimed Benanti reds, Rovittello and Lamoremio, are particularly pleasant and satisfying. They also make perfect partners for Sicilian cuisine. And for that marvellous cuisine, we should all drink a toast of thanks to the island’ many invaders of the past and s to the fiery mountain from which so much good and bad has emanated.” ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 51 Prediction of Future Events Here is an example of an ending which makes a prediction. The article describes a number of locations in a region of Italy that has been neglected by tourists. The author takes refuge from a thunderstorm in an enchanting little restaurant and wants to stay for lunch. Unfortunately, he and his companions are expected elsewhere for lunch but the author consoles himself with the thought that he will return one day. From “Lazio: Hidden Charms of the Other Tuscany”, reprinted courtesy of Travel Watch. “ . . . A wonderful meal in a wonderful restaurant in a wonderful setting. Our only regret was that lunch at Alfreda’ would have to wait until next time. However, s we consoled ourselves with the knowledge that there definitely would be a next time.” Quotation Here is an example of an ending which uses a quotation. The article describes an unusual, “Dracula” tour of Romania and finishes with a light-hearted discussion of the star of the show. From “The Dracula Package”, reprinted courtesy of Traveller. “ . . . I asked if the icon of all evil and monster archetypes would be joining us. My erudite friend and careful driver smiled. Red Merlot trickled slowly down his teeth. He shook his head, his laugh echoing through the castle. ‘ Goodness me, no. But he might join us later in the Skyroom Bar. The count enjoys a sundowner.’ ” Punchline Here is an example of an ending that uses a punchline. The article describes the unspoilt calm of the tiny villages high up in the hills behind the Riviera and argues that they ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 52 offer much-needed respite from the heat and crowds of the famous coastal resorts. From “High on the Riviera”, reprinted courtesy of France Today. “ . . . The next morning was cloudless and dry. As I gazed down at the ochre and rose cluster of Italianate stone houses of Saorge, I realised that this brief but inspiring change of perspective had left me cleansed, relaxed and ready to cope with the heat and crowds of the coast. Now, whenever the wind kicks up and the skies are heartbreakingly blue and clear, I try to head for Gourdon and sit on top of the world for an hour or two. There may not be much to do or buy there, besides the tasty gingerbread, but for once, what you see is what you get.” ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 53 9 Writing Pitfalls to Avoid There exist many writing pitfalls to catch the unwary. These pitfalls are common mistakes that experienced as well as novice writers frequently make. It is your responsibility as a writer to proof-read carefully and make sure your copy is as good as you can make it before you submit your work to editors. You won’ t make friends with many editors if you submit work that’ s littered with errors that could and should have been noticed and corrected. However, nobody’ perfect. Even after careful proofs reading by the author, most writing will probably still be capable of being improved. That’ all right. One of the s responsibilities of the editor is to fine-tune copy and correct any remaining errors. It’ often easier for an editor reviewing s a piece “cold” to spot errors than it is for the author who may be too close to the piece after having already proof-read several drafts. Avoid Pomposity When applied to writing, pomposity means inflated selfimportance, a sense that the author is trying to dazzle the reader with boundless wisdom and wondrous writing skills. Perhaps the author is using long, complicated words when simpler words would suffice or even be more fitting. Maybe the author is trying to show off his knowledge. Maybe the author is simply talking down to the reader. Whatever the style of the pomposity the effect is always the same: pomposity in writing is pretentious and not very enjoyable to read. Many writers, particularly new writers, have a tendency towards pomposity because they want to sound grand. Guard against this. You might be particularly erudite in your subject but you mustn’ load your articles with all manner of t random, barely relevant facts just to impress your reader. Doing so, and maybe also using long and complicated arguments, will simply obscure the main points of your story and your piece will be very tiring to read. This comes back to writing in the same manner as you talk. Most people don’ talk in an overly-pompous manner. t ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 54 Most people talk in an informal, chatty manner. If your talking manner is naturally grandiose or pompous, you’ ll need to soften your tone in your writing, otherwise your articles risk being unattractive to read. Avoid Verbiage Verbiage is the needless use of empty phrases, which add nothing to what’ being written, or careless verbosity s where few words would suffice but many are used. Take a look at this example: “As a matter of fact, it should be pointed out that the boy was, to be blunt, not there at the correct time.” Isn’ it horrendous? All the sentence t says is: “The boy was late.” Admittedly this is an exaggerated example but it’ sad s how many pieces of writing are ruined by the use of “padding” words and phrases that convey absolutely nothing. Examples of verbiage include: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? As a matter of fact If you don’ mind me saying t It is interesting to note that It should be pointed out that It should be recorded that The truth of the matter is that To be blunt To be honest To be perfectly frank What I mean to say is that You may be aware that. As well as avoiding needless phrases like those above, get into the habit of using the fewest number of words to convey your idea. Here are some examples: Use: after instead of: because before due to during except more than subsequent to on the grounds that prior to as a result of in the course of with the exception of in excess of ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 55 to without for the purpose of in the absence of It’ so easy to fall into the verbiage trap and there are a s great many more examples than those listed above. The only way to guard against it is to constantly challenge yourself. Keep asking yourself: “What does this word or phrase add?” If the answer if “nothing” then delete it. Also ask yourself: “Is there a briefer way of stating this?” This is a slightly more subjective area but in the majority of cases (I mean, of course, “in most cases”!), if there is a briefer way to say something, use it. Avoid Clichés A cliché is a literary phrase that has become common or trite through excessive use and has as a result lost its meaning. The use of clichés in writing is poor because it creates the impression the author couldn’ be bothered to t think of anything more original and effective. Examples of clichés to avoid include: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Cruel twist of fate Dead as a dodo Every inch of the way Explore every avenue Flog a dead horse Green and pleasant land In the blink of an eye In the fullness of time Leave no stone unturned Let the cat out of the bag Level playing field Not to have a leg to stand on Powers that be Search high and low Sing from the same hymn-book Teach your grandmother to suck eggs The long and the short of it Through thick and thin To call a spade a spade To cut a long story short Tower of strength. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 56 Avoid Platitudes A platitude is a commonplace remark, particularly one that has been solemnly delivered with the intention of imparting wisdom. They are similar to clichés in that they are tired sayings which now carry little meaning. Platitudes can often have a more detrimental impact on your writing than clichés, particularly when they are used in an attempt to sound knowledgeable. Some of the worst platitudes to guard against using (and which pain me to write!) include: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush All good things come to those who wait A rolling stone gathers no moss A stitch in time saves nine It never rains but it pours It takes one to know one Make hay while the sun shines The early bird catches the worm The grass is always greener on the other side You can’ make an omelette without breaking an egg t You can’ teach an old dog new tricks. t One of the few acceptable uses of clichés and platitudes is in titles, particularly humorous titles. In the body of your writing, though, avoid clichés like the plague (sorry!). Avoid Excessive Use of Adjectives It’ a commonly-held belief that travel writing, being s one of the most “descriptive” forms of writing, should overflow with adjectives. This is wrong. Many inexperienced travel writers (and some who should know better) make the mistake of overusing adjectives in their work. Rather than strengthen a piece, using adjectives excessively tends to weaken it. Good writing doesn’ depend on adjectives. t This is an important point we’ cover in depth in Part ll Five where we’ show you techniques to paint far more vivid ll pictures than you could by just using adjectives. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 57 Avoid Over-Exaggeration Over-exaggeration can be a problem similar to the overuse of adjectives. At best, over-exaggeration weakens rather than strengthens writing; at worst, it can be (intentionally or not) misleading and incorrect. Over-exaggeration often applies to adjectives and adverbs that are excessive for the realities of the situation. The way to ensure you don’ over-exaggerate is to challenge t yourself constantly while you write and edit. Ask yourself questions. Justify statements and claims you make. For example, was the meal truly “Michelin quality” or were you just extremely hungry having spent a day without eating? Was the hotel a “gem of a hideaway” or was it somewhat dilapidated and really not that far from the main road? Pay particular attention to the use of superlatives (“the best”, “the highest”, “the grandest”, etc). If you feel that the use of a superlative is appropriate, for example: “This is the finest hotel in the resort” or “This is the most remote ecolodge in the Amazon”, you had better make sure you have facts to justify the statement. Avoid Jargon Jargon is terminology that is used frequently by a small group of the population but is unfamiliar, and possibly unintelligible, to the majority. Most professions and technical subjects have their own jargon. For example, travel writers frequently use terms like “clip”, “press comp”, “sidebar”, “kill fee” and “advertorial”, and other writers understand what they mean. However, most of the population probably wouldn’ understand what these t terms mean. It would just be gibberish to them. Avoid all jargon in your writing. It will only confuse your readers. The very fact that jargon is jargon only because you’ familiar with the subject and terms can make it re difficult to stamp out entirely. You’ often use jargon ll without thinking about it and possibly without even realising you’ slipped into it. Be on guard at all times and if you ve have any doubts whether a word is jargon or not, use another. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 58 Avoid “Fad” Words A fad is a craze - something that is generally sought after but which may or may not be long lasting. “Fad” words and phrases often arise from politics, the technology industry and some business schools. Such words may be in vogue and sound trendy, but they are best avoided, or at least used only after much thought. Fad words can appear pretentious and often only signify that the writer hasn’ made an effort to find a better word. Some fad t words are difficult to avoid altogether as they have become accepted usage, but they can still be very off-putting to have to read. Take great care when using the following: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Ballpark Bottom-line Cost-benefit analysis Deal-breaker Factor in Grassroots Initiatives Integrated Interface No-brainer Root and branch reforms Solution provider Spin doctor Touch base. Avoid Tautology Tautology is saying the same thing more than once using different words. Guard against tautology as it makes for inelegant writing and can make pieces tiring to read. Examples of tautology include: ? ? ? ? ? ? They arrived one after another in succession Young puppies, elderly pensioners, etc The couple walked hand-in-hand together Alarm bells of warning rang in his head Singularly unique Full mile. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 59 Don’ Bore t Being boring is the greatest writing sin you can commit. We’ all been on the receiving end of other people’ ve s holiday stories and know how dreary they can be. To avoid making this mistake you need to report, describe and comment, and make your pieces stimulating, informative and entertaining to read. If you ever sense that your piece is becoming dull or too detailed, interject some action sentences and phrases to bring your writing back to life. Get your reader actively involved again in what you’ saying. re Don’ Try to Cram Too Much into Your Story t A common problem suffered by many new travel writers is attempting to cover too much within the confines of a 2,000-word manuscript. Very few subjects can be covered comprehensively in so few words. You’ almost always need ll to set your sights on a narrowly-defined theme within your subject rather than try to be all-encompassing. Don’ try to squeeze into your story every fact or quote t you have about a location or subject. Often a well-chosen and well-described vignette will convey a better feel for a location than a broad overview burdened with detail. Identify clearly the main point you wish to make and structure your article to get this main point across effectively. Leave out subject matter not relevant to your main point or consider producing another piece where this information is relevant to the theme. This emphasises once again how important it is to identify clearly the “big picture” of your story before you attempt to write it. Avoid Excessive Artistic Licence There’ nothing wrong with colouring your article with s a touch of artistic licence to maximise interest and readability. However, you mustn’ overdo it by inventing t circumstances (good or bad) that didn’ exist. Don’ overt t embellish - your articles must always remain factually accurate. If necessary, use other ways to enliven your article. It’ difficult to be prescriptive about how much artistic s ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 60 licence it’ permissible to use, and at what stage its use s becomes excessive. It’ something you’ probably be able to s ll recognise without necessarily being able to define. If in doubt, err on the side of fact and caution. Let’ take an example. During my first trip to Bolivia I s travelled to the lowland Yungas region with a friend who was relatively new to travel writing. We journeyed on separate buses along the dangerous mountain road with its blind switchbacks and unprotected drop-offs to near certain death. The high death toll on this road has provoked people to inscribe numerous religious messages on rocks that line the road. When my bus stopped shortly before starting the dangerous descent, an old man wearing a traditional Inca hat got on and blessed each passenger. My friend produced an article on the Yungas and mentioned the religious messages lining the road. In her first draft she also mentioned my incident with the old man but described it in third party terms, ie “A friend travelling along the road encountered.....” I thought this was inelegant and unnecessary and advised my friend instead to incorporate my experience with the old man as if it had been hers. The rationale for mentioning the religious scribblings and blessing was to emphasise the sense of danger of travelling on the road and the high death toll it exacts. It really made very little difference that the old man got onto my bus rather than the bus my friend was travelling in. The important point is that the incident happened. A constructive use of artistic licence was for my friend to describe the blessing incident as something that had happened to her so as to avoid cluttering up her article with explanations of how the incident happened to a friend of hers. An unacceptable use of artistic licence would have been to make up something, say an accident, to emphasise the danger of the road. Even though we knew that accidents occur on this road with chilling frequency, we didn’ t experience an accident on our journeys and it would therefore have been wrong to say in a story that we had. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 61 Avoid Sounding Like an Encyclopaedia Travel pieces should as a minimum be informative, entertaining and enjoyable to read. Ideally, they should be highly evocative and inspire readers to want to travel. They must not be dry and functional. A neutral collection of facts isn’ a travel article and is unlikely to get published, no t matter how much information it contains. Of course a travel piece needs to include facts but it’ s vital to achieve a balance between painting a picture of the destination and providing the reader with facts. As we mentioned in the section on structuring your article, the balance will vary with the type of article you’ producing. re Generally speaking, your articles should paint more pictures than they provide facts. In some instances your articles may be two-thirds or even three-quarters picture painting. Depending on the publications you are writing for, you may or may not include factual details about your destination in a separate “Travel Facts” section. Some publications don’ t include such sidebars as a matter of policy. I always prefer to include such information where possible. It’ my view that s travel writing shouldn’ only inspire readers to want to travel; t it should also arm them with the information they need to replicate the travel experiences being described. Avoid the Personal Travel Diary One kind of story which editors can rarely use and which they don’ like to receive is the step-by-step account of t what you did on your summer vacation. These are the gollygee-it-was-fun stories that I’ sure we’ all had the m ve misfortune to have to sit through. Personal travel diaries aim to say all yet sadly ultimately reveal nothing about a travel experience. One editor we know bemoaned: “We get dozens a week and reject as many.” An important distinction needs to be made here. We’ re not saying you can’ submit personal accounts of travel t experiences. Quite the opposite. Stories should have a strong sense of the writer’ personality and convey the writer’ s s personal experiences. The important point is that they should include personal information that your readers will find interesting and useful. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 62 Readers are selfish with their time. They want benefits in return for taking the time to read your article. It may be a hard truth to accept but the mere fact you had a good time on your holiday is not in itself of any interest or benefit to your readers. Unless it illustrates a point you are making, readers won’ be interested in hearing how little Johnny enjoyed ice t cream in the back garden of your holiday cottage or that you greatly enjoyed eating pan-fried fish for dinner. Let’ look at a concrete example. The fact that you s couldn’ sleep at night and went to the balcony to get some t fresh air isn’ by itself remotely interesting to your reader. t However, suppose you go to the balcony and look up to see the brightest and clearest night sky you have ever seen, the experience made all the more magical by streams of brilliant shooting stars? Now, this is starting to have more relevance to your reader. Challenge yourself. Ask: “So what?” If you’ re struggling to provide an answer, the point you’ making is re most likely a diary entry and will have no place in a travel article you intend to publish. I’ sorry but you have to be m brutal on this one. Get it wrong and your article will have a very short life expectancy on any editor’ desk. s Don’ Chase the “Best Grammar” Prize t If you face a choice between writing a grammatically perfect sentence that sounds stilted and possibly ambiguous, and one that’ ungrammatical but easier and clearer to read, s forget the perfect grammar and go for clarity. Every time. Get Your Facts Straight To say editors are unhappy with writers who get their facts wrong is an understatement of monumental proportions. Accuracy and attention to detail are paramount if you are to succeed as a travel writer. You must have correct spellings of names and places, particularly foreign ones, and your facts about a country, location or activity must be accurate and upto-date. Check if you are in any way unsure. The odd error will be tolerated and corrected but if your submission is littered with them, your manuscript will end up with the rubbish. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 63 10 The Practicalities of Writing Your Article Getting Down to Writing There are no right or wrong ways to get down to writing – to get those vital first few sentences down that will hopefully inspire you and give you the momentum to create a great piece. Different writers have very different approaches to getting started and even the same writers sometimes write in different ways. All that’ important is to identify ways s which work for you. By way of example, I usually work in this manner: ? ? ? ? ? ? ? Identify the “big picture” theme of the article. Create the lead. Create the likely ending (usually at this stage less clearly defined than the lead). Create an article structure covering the points I wish to make. Identify paragraph headings for each of the main points, and justifications to support these points. Type in my field and other research notes under appropriate headings in the article structure. Reorganise and edit as necessary. Writing is a very personal activity and you must identify the way that you feel most comfortable doing it. I’ quite m fortunate and don’ often struggle to come up with at least an t idea for a lead and often also an ending. If I wasn’ so t fortunate, I wouldn’ be able to use the above approach and t might instead have to create the structure first and then work on the lead and ending. What we’ tried to do below is set out a few ideas ve which we hope will help you develop your own mechanisms for getting started. ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 64 The “Big Picture” What ultimately do you want your readers to take away with them after having read your article? Identify your main argument and how (with what facts, anecdotes, quotations, etc) you will go about supporting that argument. The main argument you are making will be the central theme throughout your article, from the beginning to the end. Each point you use to support that argument will command one or more paragraphs. Order the supporting points in order of importance, or in another logical manner, and you immediately have a framework within which to write your piece. The Lead Remember the lead is the most important part of your article. You may need to write and re-write your lead many times before you are certain it will grab your readers’ interest and pull them into the rest of your story. Sometimes your lead will come to you very early on as you think about a writing project. If so, write it down at once and fine-tune as necessary. If you are fortunate enough to have your lead identified at the outset, you probably won’ t find the rest of the article very difficult to produce. The Ending Some writers claim that the ending is the most important element of your article after the lead. Identifying your story’ s ending early on can be another great aid to the writing process. If you have a strong lead and a strong, logical ending, all you then have to do is get from one to the other using the information you have collected. In writing terms this is not that difficult. Without forcibly trying to think up endings, I like to identify how I will finish each article as early on as possible, simply because it can make the whole writing process so much easier. The Framework Having identified the main theme and supporting arguments of your article, you will have a number of points that your article is going to cover. Order these in the manner ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 65 that best fits the way you intend to write the story (for example, do you want to state your highlight upfront or build up to it?) and you will have a broad outline for your piece. If you have also identified your lead and ending by this stage, you will have the complete outline structure for your story. Type in the headings of your outline structure to the extent that you have developed them. Then take your field and research notes and type them in, using complete sentences or not as you prefer. Just get them down under the most appropriate paragraph headings. When getting my notes down at the initial stage, I like to go through my scribblings in the order in which I took them to make sure I capture every piece of information and every quote I recorded. I don’ worry about having to jump from t one heading to another as a result. I can add, delete or edit paragraph headings as necessary as I go along. I tend to type up my notes in complete sentences most of the time. This is purely a matter of preference and there is nothing wrong with typing notes in as notes or bullets if this is how you like to work. As I go through my manual notes, I draw a vertical line in the margin of notes I have typed in so I can check at the end that I have typed in everything. Once I am satisfied all the core information has been typed in under broadly sensible headings, I can cut and paste sections as necessary if further reorganising of ideas is necessary. The Editing Process Most writing can be improved by editing, often through several drafts. Don’ be afraid to re-write. You have a lot to t get right: catchy lead, sensible structure, transitions, factual accuracy, clarity, grammar, spelling, active voice, sentence length, and a strong ending. You have to get all this right and you can’ possibly hope to do so by just reading the piece t through once. It’ quite normal to find many ways of improving a s piece each time you look at it. This is particularly true if you leave a period of time between each review. Once you have reached the stage where you are reasonably happy with the structure and content of a piece, put it away for a week and then read it again. You’ probably identify many ways in ll ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 66 which you can strengthen it further. By leaving such a “cooling off” period, you’ be better ll able to identify: ? ? The logic of your article structure and any re-ordering which might be necessary. Writing that is unclear and which you previously thought was clear only because you knew what you were trying to say. Mistakes which have been created by the editing process, for example, verbs and pronouns which are no longer in the same person following text revisions. Superfluous words and long sentences which can be beneficially shortened. Over-repeated words. Don’ Edit While You Write t Writing and editing are generally best kept separate. Don’ try to edit a piece at the same time that you’ writing t re it. This will interrupt and may even stop the flow of your writing. It’ also not very effective to try to edit while your s mind is possibly racing away with writing your story. Finish your first draft and then start to edit. Don’ Over-Edit t Although it’ important that you edit your work s thoroughly, don’ overdo it. There will come a point during t the process when your piece will flow well and you won’ be t picking up any more errors. All you’ achieve by continuing ll to edit is to say the same things in different ways without necessarily improving the piece. When you reach the point where editing is changing, but not necessarily improving, your writing, stop editing. I am often guilty of over-editing so I’ a pretty poor m role model on this point. You have to recognise when you’ ve done all the editing you can reasonably do, and that’ the s time to stop - you’ completed your article. ve ? ? ? ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 67 Summary ? Good travel writing combines: vivid reporting; expression of the writer’ intelligence, wit and style s through personal experiences, anecdotes and quotations; and meaty, practical traveller information. Good travel writing has a point to express, gets to this point quickly and conveys it to the reader with brevity and clarity. Identify the “big picture” of your article -- the main point you wish to convey -- before you sit down to write. You can use one of several proven templates for structuring travel articles. The most appropriate to use in each case will depend on the type of article you are producing. These templates include: by chronology; by need to know; by location; by subject; by discussion of issues; and by quotations. Lift your articles by using effective transitions that keep your story flowing and sidebars that enhance the visual impact and make it easier for readers to extract useful information. The lead is the most important part of every article. A lead must grab the attention and hook readers to want to read on. You only have a matter of seconds in which to achieve this so your lead must entice. You can create powerful leads using: facts/news; anecdotes; locations; statements of arguments; catchy introductions; questions; and quotations. The ending is possibly the second most important part of an article. Create powerful and effective leads and endings, and the main body of your articles will not be difficult to write. Effective ways to create endings include: drawing conclusions from the article; returning to points made; making predictions; quotations; and punchlines. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? A good travel piece delivers on the promise it makes in its lead. Maintaining a “golden thread” of your central theme throughout your piece is a good way to ensure you ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 68 ? deliver on your promise. ? Show rather than tell your reader. Provide the facts and let the reader decide. Don’ force your personal t conclusions on them. Strong writing doesn’ rely on adjectives. Use strong, t active verbs instead. Being boring is probably the worst writing sin you could commit. Don’ try to cram too much information into one article. t If you have so much to say produce more than one article on the subject. Don’ sound like an encyclopaedia and don’ write t t personal travel diaries that are of no interest to anyone other than you. Your grammar doesn’ need to be perfect but your facts t do. ? ? ? ? ? ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 69 Travel Writing Course We hope you have enjoyed reading the Travel Writing Blueprints. You now know everything you need to know to write travel articles that sell and travel the world for free. Do you want to become a top travel writer? If so, you need to learn a few additional techniques, such as how to approach editors and press trip hosts, how to capture stunning travel photographs and how to get your writing published. Our unique travel writing course help you every step of the way. This course will teach you everything you need to know to become a top travel writer, in practical, easy-to-follow steps. Furthermore, we will deduct the cost of the blueprint(s) from the course fee (please note we put through the credit manually). Here are just some of the benefits of our course: ? We work personally with all course students until they have published their first travel article (the course contains a “live” travel writing assignment). In this way, we can guarantee that all our students have successfully launched their travel writing careers on graduation. ? The course is written and tutored by working travel writers. We teach you the same techniques we use every day in our work. ? We have contacts with several outlets keen to carry travel writing produced by our course graduates. These contacts will provide you with an excellent opportunity to progress your career after you have completed the course. ? We provide qualified students with assignment letters and a press pass to confirm your press accreditation. ? Course students receive a free six-month subscription to our private newsletter Freelance Travel Writer, which provides writing and photography tips, and the latest information on new travel writing markets and press trips on offer. For a full description of the course and to register, please go to: http://www.freelancetravelwriter.com/course.htm ____________________________________________________________________ The Insider Secrets of Freelance Travel Writing Travel Writing That Sells Page 70 Become an Affiliate and Earn 60% If you have enjoyed our Travel Writing Blueprints, you can become an affiliate and earn 60% on each purchase you refer. To set up an affiliate link, you first need to open a Clickbank account (which is free for affiliates and quick to set up) if you don’ already have one t (http://secure.clickbank.net/signup.cgi?c=http://clickbank.com/selling.html). 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