anger management by lukeanger

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Anger Management Tips and Exercises - if you want to fix your

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									ANGER MANAGEMENT
        HOW TO CONTROL YOUR ANGER TO GET THE MOST
                      OUT OF YOUR LIFE

             ANGER MANAGEMENT TIPS AND EXERCISE



A lot more info on anger management can be found in a full
book ( 43 pages ). It costs only 9.99 for limited time you can
pick it up here
http://anger-issues.org/anger-management-ebook.php
If you will have any problems or don't have paypal let me
know at luke@anger-issues.org ( even if you just want to talk)
Legal Disclaimer


This eBook is presented to you for informational purposes only and is not a
substitution for any professional advice. The contents herein are based on the
views and opinions of the author and all associated contributors.


While every effort has been made by the author and all associated contributors to
present accurate and up to date information within this document, it is apparent
technologies rapidly change. Therefore, the author and all associated contributors
reserve the right to update the contents and information provided herein as these
changes progress. The author and/or all associated contributors take no
responsibility for any errors or omissions if such discrepancies exist within this
document.


The author and all other contributors accept no responsibility for any consequential
actions taken, whether monetary, legal, or otherwise, by any and all readers of the
materials provided. It is the reader’s sole responsibility to seek professional advice
before taking any action on their part.


Readers results will vary based on their skill level and individual perception of the
contents herein, and thusly no guarantees, monetarily or otherwise, can be made
accurately. Therefore, no guarantees are made.

               Http://anger-issues.org/anger-management-ebook.php – 43 page ebook




                                                                                        2
HEALING THE PAIN OF ANGER BY TAKING
RESPONSIBILITY OF YOUR ACTIONS

There are many different reasons why people may suffer from anger management
issues, but the way in which their anger is portrayed is often very similar. It’s
never their fault! Have you noticed that? It’s your fault for making him late for a
meeting. It’s the kids fault for making too much noise during a favourite TV
program. It’s the fault of every other driver on the road for contributing to the
traffic jam on the way to work. It’s the fault of everybody and everything else.


Some people have the kind of disposition that makes it possible for them to see
the lighter side of problems, to deal calmly with whatever life throws at them and
to always remain positive. Does this mean that nobody has made them late? No.
Does it mean that their kids aren’t noisy? No. Have they ever been stuck in a
traffic jam? Yes, of course they have. So it’s not the fault of the situation, it’s the
reaction to the situation which creates anger problems.


A very important aspect of dealing with anger related problems is by realising that
it’s not always everyone else’s fault. If someone bumps into you and spills coffee
down your shirt, step back, think, ‘did they do that on purpose?’ of course not, so
is it ‘their fault?’ not really, it’s an accident and accidents happen. By stepping
back from a situation and trying to see it from the other person’s point of view can
be an extremely positive step forward in managing your anger and leading to a
happier life for all.


By allowing your anger to get the better of you can make even the smallest
situation soon escalate into a massive problem, and the sooner you realise that
nothing good comes from losing control, the better.

                Http://anger-issues.org/anger-management-ebook.php – 43 page ebook




                                                                                          3
REDUCE THE STRESS YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE

In this modern, fast-paced world, stress is around every corner. We are under
stress at work to achieve more and more, we are under stress at home to provide
more and more for our families, we are under stress on the way to work, traffic
jams, packed commuter trains, we are constantly bombarded by telephones and
emails, it’s kind of like the whole world is geared towards stressing us out. While
to a certain extent many people can thrive in this environment for a short time, it
is equally important to take time out and reduce as much stress as possible in
order to live a long and happy life.


Some people find that sport is the best way to reduce stress, particularly if you are
engaged in mentally difficult tasks during the week. If you are cooped up in an
office from Monday to Friday, you may find it relaxing to get onto the soccer pitch
every weekend, or play a game of tennis or squash with friends, using pent up
physical energy and you will probably find that you come away feeling physically
tired yet calm.


For some, however, who are physically stressed throughout the week, they might
find it more relaxing to listen to music, or just to enjoy a pleasant dinner or chat
with friends as a way of relaxation. To join an evening class can be extremely
therapeutic for some.


The important thing about relaxation is that it takes your mind off the things which
are making you stressed in the first place. You may think that you are too busy to
take time off, but mark my words, a few hours spent relaxing will be more than
paid back in extra efficiency and clear thinking when getting back to the tasks at
hand.

               Http://anger-issues.org/anger-management-ebook.php – 43 page ebook




                                                                                       4
DISRUPT OLD PATTERNS OF ANGRY BEHAVIOR, REPLACE
THEM WITH HEALTHIER ONES

We all feel angry from time to time, and while many people learn to deal with their
anger as a normal part of growing up, some other people find it more difficult to
react to situations which makes them feel angry in an irrational way, and lose their
temper very quickly. Fortunately, this learned behavior can be successfully
unlearned, and new, healthier patterns of behavior replace it.


Children learn much of their behavior from watching their parents, and if you
always tend to overact in an angry way to some situations, then the chances are
that your children will learn that it is the correct way to behave. The best way to
raise a calm, controlled child is for him to be brought up in a calm, controlled
environment. To lead by example is the single most effective course of action you
can ever take.


If you child does start to show traits of poor anger management it is important to
stop the situation quickly and calmly. Do not fight anger with anger. Instead,
calmly and firmly find out what has caused the anger, and talk it over to find a
suitable solution to the situation. Just by saying ‘stop’ you can successfully
interrupt the negative behavior pattern and reinforce a more positive way of
dealing with the situation. You may find it necessary to teach your child some
simple techniques so that they can learn to control themselves.


By taking deep breaths and counting to ten, you can successfully remove yourself
from a stressful situation enough to be able to cope in a more rational and
measured way. By practicing these techniques in front of your children they will
soon learn a more positive and healthy way to react to situations, and grow up to
be more balanced and happy adults.

               Http://anger-issues.org/anger-management-ebook.php – 43 page ebook




                                                                                      5
DON’T DWELL ON THE PAST, LOOK FORWARD AND
ACCENTUATE THE GOOD IN YOUR LIFE

How much time do we spend thinking about the past? Plenty is the answer to that
one. Sometimes we remember the ‘good old days’, when the kids were young,
when we were young, a particular holiday or event, when life was more fulfilling
and fun (in our memories anyway).

Unfortunately we also sometimes remember the bad times, regret decisions we
made, or didn’t make, the old ‘what if I’d done that?’ scenario. Well, although the
past has formed who we are so far, the present is the only thing which we can
really do anything about. Don’t dwell on the past, the past is the past, it’s gone,
finished, over, and although we can certainly learn from experiences in the past,
to re-live the past instead of focusing on the future can only hold you back.


Yesterday is gone, but tomorrow, wow, tomorrow, who knows what might happen,
a whole new day to explore and use for the benefit of improving the future of you
and all those around you.


By looking to the future you can shape the rest of your life, not the part of the life
that has already happened, but the rest of your life, the part that’s still to come,
exciting, new and different. Focus on the good things in your life and how you can
make them even better, live each day to the full and your future will get brighter
and brighter.


Make plans for the future; give yourself something to look forward to. Book a
vacation, organise a party, visit friends, enrol on a course for something which
‘you’ve always fancied having a go at but never had the time’, we’ve all got one of
those hidden in the back of our minds. Look to the future, it’s bright, it’s coming,
whether you like it or not, and it’s there for you to enjoy so make it a good one.

                Http://anger-issues.org/anger-management-ebook.php – 43 page ebook




                                                                                         6
TALK ABOUT YOUR ANGER

Much anger is borne out of frustration and cooped up emotions, and to learn to
talk about your anger can be an important method of therapy for anyone who is
learning to deal with anger issues. If someone, for example, makes you
particularly angry, don’t just lash out or shout, but remove yourself from the
situation and try to stay calm. It is then a good idea to talk to the person who
makes you angry and try to come to a satisfactory solution. Tell them why you feel
angry and what happened to trigger the reaction. Probably they will realise that
they make you angry, but will have no idea why, and to discuss the situation
calmly can be a positive experience for both parties.


Sometimes you may find it difficult to know exactly why you are angry, and in this
situation it is important to really try to analyse your feelings. Very often it is not
the actual trigger which is the cause of the anger; it can be deep rooted with some
feelings from your past, or something which happened earlier in the day which has
made you feel frustrated or uncomfortable in some way.


By joining a therapy group you will have the opportunity to not only talk about
your own anger experiences, but also listen to those of others. You may find it
surprising that your experiences are not so very different from many others in the
group, and that by learning what works for them it could possibly be the same for
you. Sometimes the reason can be staring you in the face but you just haven’t
recognised the fact, but by someone else acknowledging it you realise that it’s the
same for you.


Just by opening communication and talking about things you can really let out
what’s deep inside of you and be a much calmer, happier person. This will be a
benefit not only to you, but also to those around you.

               Http://anger-issues.org/anger-management-ebook.php – 43 page ebook




                                                                                     7
POSITIVELY CHANNELING YOUR ANGER THROUGH
WRITING

There are lots of different techniques and activities which people can use to help to
control anger management. Many people find it therapeutic to use art as a form of
letting out pent up emotions, making pictures or models of their deepest thoughts,
but for many, the medium of writing is the best alternative.


One important exercise which can be used to help with anger management control
is by simply writing down a number of things which make you angry. This can be
enlightening, as to actually have to write the specific triggers which make you
angry can be a very good place to start when learning how to deal with these
triggers.


Story writing and poetry can also be extremely helpful therapy for anyone who has
anger management problems. It is important to let your real feelings flow, poetry
is especially helpful as your thoughts can be portrayed in a much more abstract
way, and your pent up frustrations and emotions can pour out onto the page in
front of you and help you to feel more able to cope without anger. If you are not
used to this sort of exercise, you may find it therapeutic to simply write a list of
words about how you feel, and then form them into some sort of poem at a later
stage. You may find that you are inadvertently writing about something which has
happened in your past, and by simply recognising the problem you are already
part way to diffusing the hold it has over you.


You will very likely get to really enjoy the writing, and as you become more
practised be able to write in more depth and detail about any events which have
become important to you. By letting feelings out onto a page can really help to
make the negative move over and allow the positive to come flooding back.

               Http://anger-issues.org/anger-management-ebook.php – 43 page ebook




                                                                                    8
BREAK THE ANGER CYCLE BY TEACHING YOUR CHILDREN
POSITIVE WAYS OF DEALING WITH ANGER

Children are learning from their parents all of the time, even when we forget that
they are there they are still watching and learning from our behaviour and how we
handle certain situations. To display road rage while your child is in the car is
displaying to your child a negative way to deal with anger, and your child will
possibly follow your example. In order, therefore, to teach our children to deal
with anger in a positive way, we must lead by example.


When dealing with a very young child it is important to remember that they are
still learning how to deal with emotions, and if you deal with their tantrums by
getting angry yourself, you are really teaching them that it is ok to do so. Try and
remain calm when dealing with angry children, (I know it’s easier said than done
sometimes), and you will teach them that there is a way to work through anger
and control it so that it doesn’t have to become out of control.


Everyone gets angry for a reason, even children, and an important step is to find
out the reason for the anger. If you can talk to your child about these reasons you
may find that you can help them to deal with it in another way. It may be that
another problem, at school or with friends is the real cause for the anger, and it
might be something which can be solved with a little adult help and advice.


Do not fall into the trap of reacting to anger with anger. Patience and
understanding are much more positive reactions, and hopefully once the child
realises that he or she is in a safe, secure and loving environment there is no need
to show uncontrollable anger at all.

               Http://anger-issues.org/anger-management-ebook.php – 43 page ebook




                                                                                       9
USING VISUALIZATION AND RELAXATION TECHNIQUES TO CALM YOUR
ANGER


Art and creative expression can be very useful forms in which to manage or calm
feelings of frustration and anger. By relaying our inner feelings and emotions onto
paper we can sometimes rid ourselves, or at least come to terms with the inner
turmoil which could otherwise engulf us and cause angry and destructive
outbursts.


This technique has often been used as a way of helping children to cope with
periods in their lives which have been unpleasant or frightening. Children who are
sad or disturbed by something will often draw dark and abstract pictures, and by
being able to display these feelings and then, if necessary, to rip up the pictures
and throw them away, it can be a therapeutic exercise which helps them to deal
with otherwise impossible memories. They may find this much easier than actually
talking about their ordeal.


When using art and visualization as a technique to calm your anger it is important
to let yourself go. Don’t worry about the finished product, whether it will be a ‘nice
picture’, just draw and paint whatever you feel and let it all out, regardless of
others.


Another way which you may find helpful in dealing with anger is through dance
and movement. By moving, unselfconsciously, maybe repeating moments which
you have lived through and find particularly disturbing, or moving in a way to
combat things which have happened to you can be a very freeing experience and
helpful therapy for anger issues.


Relaxation techniques can also be very useful when dealing with anger
management issues. Deep breathing from the diaphragm, for example, is known

               Http://anger-issues.org/anger-management-ebook.php – 43 page ebook




                                                                                    10
to relax the body and leave you feeling calmer. Take time out in your day to really
practice this for a few minutes and you will be amazed at the results.


ATTENDING SUPPORT GROUPS AS A POSITIVE OUTLET FOR YOUR ANGER


Once you have acknowledged that you have an anger management problem, the
next step is to decide to do something about it. Of course, realising you have a
problem is a very important step in itself, and there are plenty of self-help
techniques which you can use to help you to control your anger instead of allowing
it to control you.


There are plenty of self help groups around, and there is sure to be one in your
local area if you just take the time and trouble to ask. By attending a support
group for anger management you will join a group of people who all have similar
problems, and you may be surprised at how many other people have the same
daily fears and problems as you do. It might take a while before you feel
comfortable enough in front of these relative strangers to open your heart, which
is necessary for you to be able to address your issues, but just by listening to
other people will be a big step forward and you will soon realise that you’re not
alone with your anger control issues. Other people’s experiences can often help
you to deal with your own problems.


Anger support groups can be a very useful tool in your anger management
strategy, but it is also important to practice self help techniques between
meetings. In this way you will be able to report your progress to the rest of the
group and share positive experiences. For many people, the simple technique of
stepping back from a situation, taking a deep breath and counting to ten can be
very effective, and this is something which you should think about whenever you
can feel yourself starting to get angry and are in danger of losing control.

               Http://anger-issues.org/anger-management-ebook.php – 43 page ebook




                                                                                    11
WHY YOU NEED AN ANGER MANAGEMENT PROGRAM

For many people who suffer from anger management problems, realising that they
have the problem and are ready to deal with it is the first real step towards solving
the issues and making life more enjoyable for everyone concerned. Many people
who suffer from anger issues will try to deal with the problems themselves, and
while there are some very useful techniques which you can use, it is really more
difficult to try to combat anything of this nature alone, and you are much more
likely to succeed if you join an Anger Management Program. Of course, you won’t
even agree to join a program until you really acknowledge that you need help, and
then that’s already the first step towards dealing with the problem.


There are three major advantages to joining a professional program, and I’ll
outline each of them for you now.


The first benefit is the fact that you will have a knowledgeable, professional person
guiding you through every step of the way. While you may think that you can
manage alone, it is always preferable to have someone beside you who knows the
potential pitfalls.


Secondly, this person can act as a motivator. While going through any life
changing process, stopping smoking, drinking, or anger management, there will
always be down times when you need someone who you trust to encourage and
motivate you.


The last reason is to measure your success. How will you know whether you are
making satisfactory progress without someone there who knows the score?

               Http://anger-issues.org/anger-management-ebook.php – 43 page ebook




                                                                                    12
  By joining an anger management program you can make new friends and compare
  notes, compare things which have worked for you, encourage each other and
  report on your own progress. It’s really much better and more successful than
  going it alone.



A lot more info on anger management can be found in a full book ( 43
 pages ). It costs only 9.99 for limited time you can pick it up here
      http://anger-issues.org/anger-management-ebook.php
 If you will have any problems or don't have paypal let me know at
       luke@anger-issues.org ( even if you just want to talk)
13

								
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