HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE OUTLINE Understanding yourself Different styles of behavior Coping with different problem people Managing conflict situations Basic communications skills and body language 6. How to say „no‟ and deal with difficult clients 7. You are in control now 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Difficult people = difficult behavior 1- Understanding yourself The patterns of our personality are set in our early childhood By holding back on displays of affection, an adult can lead a child into believing that he is unworthy of such love, by telling a child he is stupid, or that his brother or sister is better than him, an adult can cause that child to do everything in so half-hearted a fashion that eventually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Someone who has unsettled childhood can suffer from being unable to form positive relationships with others Communication is a two way process Example1 Suppose that one of your clients shouts at you and creates a row for something that was clearly not your fault. You should: Example 2 If one of your colleagues shouts at you, which of the following scenarios is most likely to be conducive to a healthy outcome? 2- Different styles of behavior • Passive • Aggressive • Assertive Passive People A passive person is likely to feel: Angry Anxious Negative Passive People Insecure Frustrated Lacking in energy Withdrawn Passive People When dealing with passive people other people can feel: Worm out Annoyed Superior Passive People Negative Withdrawn Aggressive People People who exhibit aggressive tendencies often feel: energetic powerful Something guilt Aggressive People Lonely exasperated Always right Threatened Aggressive People People who exhibit aggressive can cause others to feel: defensive resentful threatened Aggressive People humiliated Frustrated Withdrawn Assertive People Assertive people often exhibit the following tendencies: Positive Enthusiastic Energetic Understand that other people have needs and feelings Assertive People Willing to take risks Good communication skills Assertive People When dealing with assertive people, others are most likely to feel positive because: Shared success Know where they stand Feelings of respect Assertive People enthusiastic Can trust you Direct energies into constructive areas Who wins after all? 3- Coping with different problem people What do we mean by problem people? They come in all shapes and sizes, but the one common trait that they all exhibit is a type of behavior that gives someone else a problem When dealing with problem people: • It creates unnecessary stress, leading to low morale • It wastes time, because effort is being expended on gripping instead of on productive work and relationships • It distorts the decision-making process, since those who display difficult behavior are often circumvented in order to ease the burden on others • It can encourage a selective emigration of the best employees to more conducive working environments • It stops work being in any fun Categories of people • Insecure: one of the most reasons to display problems • Negative: • Selfish: easier to diagnose • Pleasant: most difficult type of behavior 4- Managing conflict situations When any conflict situation arises, there are 3 possible outcomes: What we can do Categories of people • • • • Dictatorial Enthusiastic Empathetic Processor Customer A customer can get annoyed with a company for one of five main reasons: • He feels no one will listen to him • Something went wrong, and he feels no one is willing to accept responsibility or make redress • He needs help or guidance, but can find no – one to give it to him • The product does not work, or the service provided is inadequate • He thought through and planned everything to do with the purchase or installation and yet it still went wrong Dealing with difficult clients Always remain cool and calm Over the phone: •Always follow the 3 P‟s: Professional, polite, Pleasant •The caller must be made to fell important •Don‟t waste caller time & company time •Help the caller achieve his desired objectives By email: • Address the customer with Respect •Ensure you build a personal relationship rather than remain anonymous 5-Basic Communication skills and body language Communication is at the heart of any relationship between two people Feedback is very important in the communication process. Let others know when: Feedback Body Language 6- How to say ‘no’ and deal with difficult people • Most people find it difficult to say no. • It is in our nature not to do so for a number of reasons , not least because we want to avoid confrontation and we all feel the need to be liked and to be appreciated, and refusing a request can make us appear selfish to others. He wants to be liked and appreciated by all his work colleagues A subordinate might be unwilling to say no because He wants greater prospects for promotion He does not wish to appear inefficient or incapable of completing the task He is afraid that his boss will get angry and this could put his job “on the line” He has low self-esteem and wants to build up the esteem of others When dealing with a difficult person over the telephone, you should: Always ensure you have a notepad or screen beside you so that you can note down his complaints Explain fully if you are unable to resolve his problem yourself, and that you will ask the relevant person to get back to him Make sure you have all the relevant details: name, telephone, address and reason why he called in the first place Make sure that if you cannot help him to find a solution, tell him that you will get back to him later on 7- You are in control now • It is clear now that truly assertive behavior is the most positive and productive way forward, the most likely to succeed both for you and for the people around you. It is also the least likely to turn you into a difficult people • So get positive…(pts) + pic Understand yourself and you will probably like yourself better… So get positive, try to see the other person’s point of view and above all communicate and hopefully other people will soon stop being difficult in your company and will perhaps surprise even themselves.
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