Log Mon 10 Aug

							Mon 10 Aug 09
Woke up tiered took off from work. Very Very Very tiered. Slowly waked up. Had several eggs on toast felt a bit better at
those times.
Went home worked on Dees cartoon. Went to Aimees dance thing felt pretty good played well with Faye felt ok.

Tuesday 11 Aug 09
Had eggs toast went to work very cloudy felt agitated. Saw dave could not speak felt bad. Went home went to pick up
Citalpram Felt bad agitated walked a lot around stores. Took 10 mg ½ tablet Citalpram felt weird went back to work cam home
bounched around agitated could not sleep at night.

Thus 12 Aug 09
Woke up went to work. Had bad anxiety could not sit still felt very bad
started making calls to doctors at work hard hard to focus. home Took 10 more mg’s citalpram felt tiered very agitated and out
of it. Woke up at night walked around the block

Friday 13 Aug 09
Got up went to work. Felt weird but a stange calm at times . Then I took 10 mg of citalpram Soon I could not contintrate.
Super Super jumpy things closed in big time. Had to go for a hike. Had hot dog hamburger. Windows by the chuch looked like
from kid times. Could not talk well Went back to office.. Went home was bouncing off the walls could not sleep.

Sat 14 Aug 09 **
Stopped taking pills.
Took care of Faye and aimee 1.5 hours. Felt bad bad bad, Then helen went to market. I tried to sleep but could not. I then
went out got money went to Lasens’s got oatmeal and stomach enzemys. Had Oatmeal
Had Camamille tea. Came home played with Aimee felt bad. Went to Ojai. Felt some energy for 15 mins.
Got in car felt tiered started to talk some clearing. Felt sleepy. Got home took a good ½ hour nap felt much better connected
with the kids and wife. Felt better had lots of pizza. Took some enzymes. Slept well that night.

Sun 15 Aug 09
Woke up feeling like I wanted to see the sun. Drove to HWY 23 felt good to see the sun
Sound sounded better sang a quick tune. Back down to Camarillo by body felt better
Could feel its movements something new. But I was only able to focus on very close things. Played with Aim all day lots of
games barley awake. Had Oatmeal enzyme salad and bread for lunch then got out took Faye and Aim to park. Gave dogs
baths was hungry Felt pretty good had food at Carls. Went to park felt well clearer easier to move. Went home gave aimee
bath felt OK still no anxiety. Decided to take a bit more Citalpram but first I took a L-Theanine. Went to In-and-Out.

Mon 16 Aug 09
Got up did not feel rested agitated. Had Oatmeal and enzyme. Went to work.
Talked to Jamie Jackson Fish & Game.. Rushed to see therapist. Felt Agiated. Went to Ojai to see Sun. Walked around felt
Some senstation smells crunching leave walked on benches but felt like seeing thru plastic weird disparr. Got cross eyed
vision agitated but some senses very meloncoly. Did not like it. Ate a susans portablla mushroom burger. Went home. The
long way.Looking at the sun did not help much. Went back to work felt trapped. Did work. Went home pretty felt agitated.
Ate fish rice felt a bit better. Did some work
Statrted doing this log. Went to eat pollo locco. Went home tried to sleep.

Tuesday 17 Aug
Had some camaille tea last night. slept from 4 to 7:30 feel depressed no focus.Had some tomatoes and enzeme. had a
banana. Banana was ok for me. Did Some animation felt a bit clearer at work needed to see the sun. Left at 12 went to
Thousand oaks mall felt some spurts. Had a lunch walked got expensive tea for helen.Drove home felt a bit more down. Some
irritable feeling melancholy took a few naps. Had tomatoes and nuts as snack. Put a pole under pool felt some chest
sensations. Had chili for Supper felt like I could have an anxiety free sleep afterwards. Took aimee for ride. Feels some more
focus now. Made an apt with Doctor Flynn today had a salami cheese and advacado sandwich before bed.

Wed 20 Aug **
Woke up had some signs of old time awareness. Still wondering. I have a bit of focus at the computer.
Try to stay calm. Will come home early. Had a banana at Vons. Started to get scatterbrain anxiety. Got glasses had some old
time static vis sensations.Went to work… Got more anxiety no relief. went to Lassens got Chamomile tea took a B6 no releif
from these irratbel at computer very jumpy. Stopped off a lassens got and took ½ of SAMe. 5:00 PM Went to emergency room
got number. Went to clinic anxiety their got tranquilizer. Did not take. Helen called Nance went to hospital for free
assessment. Felt a calmer after did some work
Thurs 21 Aug**
Started taking SAMe felt much less anxiety and had some warm feeling in legs and body Not perfect. In and out of
consousness. Did my job thought about getting 3D scanner. Went home played with aimee got tiered. Took nap. Felt
disonnected out of it.Then I took shower felt out no shower feeling . Decided to go to magraths barbequee started to feel less
out of it. Then went to owl reasturant. Felt more into it. Saw light better. Went home fell asleep at 9:00 Woke up at 4:00 felt
somethings took a SAMe ½. Went back to bed

Friday 22 Aug***
Woke up at 7:00 felt out of it. Drive around felt out of it no connection. Felt sad desperate
Went to beach cryed went to see nance told her my troubles. Had MCd’s fish sandwach and egg mcmuffin.
Called nance finished up Dee’s graphic Went to hospital felt some OK when got there. They were no use.
Totally frustrated. Went home still frustrated heart hurt. Mowed lawn. Started to feel a connection again some
good light ascpects looked at Helens feet. Had garlic tabets took a nap felt better went to talk to rich.
Felt better. Went to cap open house ate 5 hot dogs felt better. Got home saw light on houses better
Than a long long time. Have more energy feel more sensations. Had ½ SAMe took faye for walk

Sat 23 Aug
Woke up felt out of it. No rest in bed. Looking for some reality. Not as bad as yesterday but Not connecting had some tomatoes. Drove
101 to mulholland. In a compress miopic way saw Clouds and light sharper. Hills In a compressed semi-depressed miopic looked softer
clearer. I walked like an old man up hill.Came home felt uncomfortable. But I new this feeling passed yesterday so I expected it to pass
later. Went to Mcdees to get Fish sandwiches and fies with animee. Again some breif body movements And new enviroment can take me
out of my disparr for a brief min or two. But disconnecting still Giving me disparr. Got home cleaned up garage talked to mom told
troubles to her. Cleaning helps to forget a bit the vision and disconnection. Had garlic tabets Decided to go to beach festival Oxnard.
Stopped off at staples felt disconnected some disparr Tryied to remember a few weeks ago before I started any drugs what it was like. I
remember Playing hide and go seek with Aimee by the chairs. Whatever. It felt like I could see better back then but
What ever.

At the beach festival I started to feel some more connection a group was playin beatles songs. Some of the songs could stirr some fleeting
memories. I can see clouds a bit clearer today and light Had Pizzia,BBQ pork sandwich and some icecream. Met up with Juian Nace and
their little girl. They provided some distraction some talk with Nace and Julian could take me from my issues. Felt some more connections.
Took a walk to the beach is was tiered but did some form of relaxing and could get some Relief but was tiered. Went home walked dogs.
Gave kids bath, Had pesto pasta felt like better.Less disconnected in the evening. I won’t take a SAMe tonight. Had some milk and chips
and hot salsa Is this enough detail dude?




Sun 23 Aug
Woke up 3:00 had headache. Took Advil. Steamed nose. Sprayed nose with meds.3:30 went to sleep woke at 7:00 felt some morning rest
feeling but not much got upFelt out of it not as much as yesterday but no memory. Only thing I had was someTime space body movement.
Went to carrels had breakfast barrieto.Went home played with Aimee built tent fort felt irratable and hard to focus. Sun light is to bright for
me. Some breif OK Focus with faye under tent. Not much. Some light looked better. A bit more energy today but still No memory and
focus. Played surf board in garage with Aimee. I could see sharp line and light made good focus of my garage stuff help to make me feel
some sense of normal. Did a bill got irritated could not find phone book treied to calm down.Had shower seemed I could feel a bit more.
Took garlic, ½ saint johns wort, ½ B6, ½ folic acid. Some peperment tea then camaille tea. Helen made cheese sandwich chips and
dip for lunch. Need to escape went to B&B to buy ant killer. Went to Hospital to walk a bit to see if I could see any better. Stopped at an
open house to walk get my mind to feel more.

Took Faye and Aimee to oaks mall see outside light and some good shades of light this helped me feel some peace.
Went home faye fell a sleep. Took dogs for walk to try and loosen up. Rode Arron’s super high bike.
At home took short nap. Felt a bit more focus. Had chicken tomatoes and carrots beats potatoes and spinach for supper. Felt more focus
after dinner. Cleaned up tent fort more focus now. Went to B&B to get part to fix pipe. Got stuff from Traders, flowers for Helen & Wine.
Felt more focus. Sky looked good Went Homed Wacthed AFV with fam. It help to distract me had some focus. Did some work for Paul.
Updates to Dog Gears Sent off files have some focus. Think I am rasing my setitonine slow. Allways pencieve about the next day. Will go
to work. Had egg sandwiches at night and chicken sausage sandwich I Could feel some good body sensation pensive relaxed watched harry
potter lost focus
Monday 24 Aug***

Woke up felt a bit better sleep feelings but they left some smaller anxiety but tookea loop to Morpark
Had some sadness light focus. went home went work. Took ½ Saint Johns. Some abilty to work moved with anxiety Could see some
light and rooms better then I went to property saw something OK but light overwhellmed me to much axiety came to work super
frustrated took magnesium b6, gaba, felt sad got some desperation talked to Diane
Went home felt axiety. Felt some better later did stuff for flynn meeting tomorrow.


Tuesday 25 Aug

Woke up with some good sleeping feelings. Got up with Faye calm but moving towards punchy
Went out side light looked good clear. Aimee got up felt a bit punchy wanting head was not heavy
But felt I could not take to much stimuli could not focus. Went to see doctor flynn felt disorented punchy but No heavy head Was early talk
to pschologist. Felt fine to talk. Went to work light felt airy on drive.
Told Diane I felt better more connection. Went to office felt more enregy but wondering but I did some stuff. Called amber. Then talked to
Joyce told here stuff. Then drove to get food. 12:30 Started to feel
Connections some pleasure lighter feelings. Went to Bandits had some genuinue pleasure feelings the
Great ribs Whole time. Could feel body more. Went home felt fine called helen went to see amiees hair cut felt pleasure in doing so
Played with faye good moment. Cared about my bussiness. Got Ice cream felt light. Went to see doc flynn felt good. Then went to
Carls and had ½ Saint Johns. Got home connections started to fade started to feel dissconnected out of it Took faye & aimee to park lost
connections but no pain and no axiety. Got home felt same I never had a full blown anxiety episode today. My head never felt heavy.
Disconnected but not heavy steak beats & potatoes for dinner. waiting for connections to come back put Aimee to bed took faye for walk
9:00 connections Starting to come back. Took drive feel lots of senesations confussed frustrated
To many sensations overwhelming can’t think. Had head ache at 3:00 am took advil
watched star wars lost focus not good

Pattern:. When I first drop an anit-depressant into my mouth I very feel out of it like I don’t exist Anxiety Saint Johns can make me feel
Obssesive compulsive just after I take it. Then it fades away a day or hours later.

Wed Aug 25

Woke up feel non-connected could see light sharper but cant get any meaning can focus confusssed
Can rest waiting for some focus to return. Went for drive. Can’t sense things I am awake but don’t feel much. Not good sucks suck suck
bad I slapped my face in pain. I get way to agnery I Get to mad at dogs for small things. All I know is yesterday I felt good for a good spell
before I took the Wart.

Things sucked took care a faye watch Truman show felt very sad like sucks. Helen got home finished the
Left over ribs that were so good yesterday. Had grapes wasabe nuts took a small vitiman B6 and Magnesium, drank rasberry tea an lots of
water went to work. Started to feel a bit better at work did not
Think I could work still so disoreninted I figure I had 24 hours from the time I last took the saint johns wort till these feeling passed. That
would be about 4:00 but I did get some programing work done or started fires up the sim loop riched helped a bit. Talked to Dee about
next projects felt better but very tiered and Diffused sun light dim vision. When to subway got a sandwich ate ½ went to GYM worked out
for 15 minTook shower could feel some. Went home tiered very tiered. Played with aimee feel asleep. Had eggplant and pasta for dinner
took aimee for walk around block felt some good moments thru the fog. Feel better Now had the other ½ of the subway sandwich talked to
helen she was stressed she is better now. Going to get a sandwich anguns burger MCDees and then sleep had more feelings now much
better. Some peace.

Thurs 26 Aug

Woke up could not wake up very weird feel bad bizzard like I was a zombie wanted to sleep
But felt no connection to world wanted to curl up into a ball justed drop to floor and felt froozen
Want to go to hospital for that. Then took shower tried to wake up waited for helen to take shower.
Whet to work. Did time card could not work to frustrated went to property cut down tree to try and
Find connection. Only small connection. Then drove down decker to trancus still felt zombie like
Hade mineral water and cheese felt some connections in shops distant but whatever.
Drove back to work driving made me feel less zombied got to work then went home at 2:00
Got a fish sandwich went home felt some punches of energy and connection. Layed down napped
20 mins. When out side played with kids in pool. A few connections. Went to see Docton in Ventura
stopped off at arbbeys got arrbeys sandwich. Told doctor effects of drugs and did not want to repeat 85 86 years gave him log told him I
saw Daniel Fynn. He said two doctors nit right told him he prescribed nothing. He then said he would call Daniel I joked with attendants
about cooperation. Went home made some real jokes at dinner had chile not axiety but connection a lot more than
Yesterday I was dead out yesterday. Took aimee for night ride had splenor icecream at polar bears.
Having some real connections with Aimee. Went home going to sleep now.

Fri 27 Aug

Got up 3:00 am could not sleep had ½ magnusim, milk and turkey slice when back to bed.
Woke up weird no focus agitated. Cleaned house had to see stuff like to much stimuilie could not take it all
In. Went to work tried to focus same deal. Got axienty or irratabel no focus. Went for hike no focus. Bad
Went back to work then home got ativan took ½ felt less irratble later then went to gym felt down but less
Axiety. Took the other ½. When back to work did a few emails. Went home less irratbel with the dog but I was very placid Went
out to eat sushi. It was ok no axiety some connections. Went home took faye for 2 block walk. Then took nap woke up light seemed
brighter. Did 1.5 hours of work for paul
Took drive. Seems like some vision things are more steady. Feel some axienity now not much.

Had ½ Ativan
Good night.


Sat 27 Aug

Got up slept hard some sleep feeling but weird. Went for short drive no aciety but no connections.
Came home aimee got up some connection with Aimee but frustracting no axietty did some paper cats
Few conections. Had bole of cereal. Helen got up at 10:00 then I took shower. No real feelings yet. Took about ½ ativan about 11 mabey
less. Did some cleaning in the house closet some sense of doing something bad memory
Some sense of connection. Light not as bad but distant. Had Pastrami sandwich and olive for lunch. Took Aimee to Milies. Very tiered
wanted to drink a coke. Went to open house no axieyty but not much connection have to force self awake.
When home clean oven took nap woke up felt out of it. Not the worst but numb had short punches of energy then gone. Picked up amiee
from barbras still low connection factor some clean light lines but
Did not matter much. Went to Whole foods. Feel out of it frustated at my surrondings pushed thru.
Had a pork barrito. Came home took short nap feel some more connections after fayes walk. Summer breazes come get thru and give some
sense of releive nice but I was very punch I wanted punch Benny
And other barking dogs. Don’t feel like work now. Feel like a bowl of cereral??? Had one




Sun 28 Aug

Waking up in the morn I had all these body strecthing sensations feel muscel pressure and such. But
I felt I could not get a sensation of the room I was in. I just wanted to curl up in bed and not wake up.
I did not like it. Woke up looked at bathe the room had a vauge sense of 3D but I could barley feel it. drove around felt like I did not know
where I was in the town sucked
Driving did not help. Took a ¼ ativanbefore animee woke.
Felt aggitated. No focus. Did a bit of work for Paul Sent it. Aimee woke watched TV wanted to play. I felt I could not focus on a thing. Did
some talking cans. I could not concentrate. Took a ¼ Ativan.
So aggitated had to wal to KMART. Felt weird. Got home took another 1.2 ativan. Hellen was sick.
I then put up a tent in Aimees room. Fayee fell off bed she was OK. Had some body energy that was it
Plus a few other 3D sensations. Took Aimee and Faye to Library to help helen recover.
IT was OK I guess looking for connections some enregy. Then went home some focus.

Watched Aimee wiatch some cartoons some focus to wathch thought about going to pirate beach.

2:30 took aimee to pirate beach was tiered but played some games and one a prize did merry go round
very tiered and had not to much reactions. Walked saw Bonney and david walked to toy store.
Got aimee sucker a few connections walking but still tiered. Went to Harbor Museum. Tiered no
Memory. But some did come back for awhile. Went home wanted to sleep. Got home took shower
Felt a few more knotes of a shadow. Saw some helpful 3d of the bath. Took a nap 15 mins.
Then cooked alme.. Had lamb mash potoaoes and beans for supper. Some sense of reality talking not bad but tiered. Some connections but
sleepy. Took more naps during AFV felt good. Got up to walk fayee
Walked blocks she won’t sleep. Feel that ounchy feeling again. To much went home gave faye to Helen took 15 min nap. Got up punchy
walked faye got her to sleep. Went to In-Out got burger. And smoke for helen

Went home started to make Milstar-3 Sat. some focus. Doing this time to sleep. 11:30 I look around I suppose I can see better shapes and
spread out areas more.

Mon 29 Aug

Got up not so bad but feel edger coming on took 1/2 ativan
Went to work. Did some GVS stuff fireed up sims.
Took more ativan about 1 total. Still eggy some light is giving comfort and wind
Took walk by beach not much.

Went home had fish sandwich took nap still felt no connection. Took a nap phased out woke up
Not to much not feeling like resting.

Feel I have some energy. Not sleepy did more GVS stuff fixed terrain problem. Felt more with it
Started to talk a bit. Some body sensations. Going to see douge and get food. Went to bobbies had tritrip barrito felt some
Level of energy and focus. Went home then I got tiered lost it. Took a nap woke up dead out of it.
Not knowing where I am no no focus just dead. Feel very very punchy. Don’t like that!
Is this an effect of ativan. mabey I take to much ativan
Had dinner porkchops and beans and rice. I guess I am more awake now doing this.

Tuesday 30 Aug

Got up felt no connections. Drove to park walked felt I could see bit better but no connections
Felt like throwing up went home did not take ativan went to work feel about 1 hour os improved sight
Sharper a bit more airy Like but still blurr like. Did script felt body focus. But I lost connections
Got real real sad. Went home felt super bad. Misery. Went back to work had fish sandwich
Could not take it ahd to take ativan. Only felt sluggish. But some fuctions. Went to see Doc Flynn
Told him my desperation. Did breathing exersises. He tries to saw I could get better soon enough.
Took another ativan went to work still sluggish went home dim and out of it. Had Dinner spagettie
Dim and out of it. A bit better going to get prescription. Will take micro amount of LEXAPRO
Spose to have less side effects. One advantage I am not as stress as I was when I took the other stuff.


Wed 2 sept

Got up at 4:30 feel static fine? Took ½ Ativan went back to bed.
Aime got up a 5:30. Iwas vert tiered. Watch TV with Aimee and I tried to sleep. Went for walk with Aimee did played in puddles. Watch
faye while Helen took shower. Went to work less pain today.
Better. Had branch meeting. I was tiered. Worked on NSPS stuff got a some done could focus better.
11:00 am took .3 Lexapro. Went home had Pizza at Round table. No anxiety Went home saw helen took faye to park. Went to pick up
faye Had bits of good energy 30 mins. Went to work very tierd
took nap dead tiered. Did some animation and coastal stuff. Came home. Tiered had good chicken for dinner talked to John good
connections less tiered. Did work for Paul. Fine. No Anxiety will take small
part Lexapro tonight. Probably not a bad day considering.


Later

Thurs 2 sept

4:00 had twinges and spark like feelings in body. Woke up felt like awake. But not great
went to work at 9:00 took ativain ¾ pill. Did some work today went to property at 11 took .3 Lexapro.
Chased snake at property inder shed. Went for Hike at La Holla. Had some body focus to hike.


Went home sleep tuntill 2 am took .22 Lexapro at 2: am I guess I have some vision. Feel a bit shakey


Friday 3rd Sept
Woke up at 8:00 tiered very just a lump wainting to wake up no appitite at all took Aimee to school
Jumpy no focus took bit os Lexapro still weird jumpy felt like trhowing up.

Picked up aimee got home stgarted to clean. Calmed down a bit.
Did some house work gave faye a bath washed floor took walked some focus taled to KADY only decent part of the day. Took another bit
of Lexapro. OK for a bit to pick up aimee some body sensations. Then Started to loose it. Went to round table halmark. Less focus as
the day went on. Very jumpy.
Went to spirutaul concet felt bad took Ativan ½+ went home sleept from 9 till 3:00
Still I don’t feel great. Took ½ more ativan feel some better?



Sat 3 September
Got up felt out of it. Like I did nto want to get up agitated sucked. Took Ativan ½ still no focus.
8 took another ½ ativan did old pool with animee. Some wind connections mostly sucked.
No appitite. 1:00 took 1.2 ativan. Omega 3 and T-Thanine pill Took aimee to Biglots trader joes. Took untill then for me to calm Down but
out of it felt a bit more normal what ever that means. Took a nap. Woke up not knowing what Room I was in or what day it was, Got
some tea then some green tea.
Felt more awake better. Did a bit of computer work waiting for Allen and friends. That was ok.
Then Party went OK. Talked cooked on the grill. Had green Tea. Started Fire told some stories got out telescope. Went well enough feel a
bit good. Had Ice cream bowels with chocolate. Took ,22 Luxapro went to bed could sleep woke up at 5:00 feel more alert better not so
anxoius. Hard to sleep now.
4 Sun Sept,

Got up feel like don’t’t want to be here no sensations expect a feel short body strecthes.

Get up no focus want punch face. Took ½ ativan then took 1 ativain. Felt I could function.
Got subway sandwiches. Went to old ventura, Walked around could talk and function had some endergy. Then went to concert had some
energey. Got to concert. Loud walked around some energy. Some sensations climbed rock wall twice help amie paint face. got a frustrated
then took ¼ ativan.

When to park hard to focus went home wanted to nap. Napped had some more focus took faye for
Walk. I was angery wanted to punch dogs. Took ½ ativain and. .4 Luxapro. slept up till 4:30
Have all these random no sestical thoughts meangless. Thourture to think of. Took 1 ativain a 4:30
Got up at 6:0 feel agitated no sense of things. Sucks not happy. I hope I can fined some peace today some where.

5 Sept Mon

Took 1 Ativan about 4:30 in morn

Helen let me sleep till 9:30 left like not getting up felt took shower just feel like smaking this out of me.
Plan to go to Zoo, made sandwiches. Not talking much no focus out of it. Took another ½ ativan at 10:00

Some body local focus. Some shrilamkai elephant feelings. So something tiered.
Go a bit more focus later for a bit some energy.

Then faded splet a lot on way back world seemed dim hazy.

Got home a bit more focus wiered pain but focus. Made pizza talked at dinner.
Read well to Aimee. Did some work for paul. Sent it. 1 hr. Feel some distance connection at dusk.
Taking ½ plus luxapro crossing my fingers going to bed.

Tues 8 Aug.

Woke up at 2:30 took some melatonine ½ tried to sleep off & on. Felt some fleeting body sleep sensations.
Got up no focus. A bit more drive mabey to get out of bed. Drove car few blocks no focus. 7:00 took ½ ativan went to work. Don’t
remember much not as much axiety I guess did some work NSPS. 11:00
Took some more Luxapro. Some body movement on Hike. Then took some more Luxapro after hike.
Total ½ pill 5 mg for the day. Had pork sandwich chips, no appitite. Felt no connection at 3:00 finished some work no sense of time Sun
sky down and hazy on rare small body streghts 3:30 to walk on beach felt nothing like crap. Went to car took ¼ ativan then went to work
for 15 min then took ½ more ativan went to gym to take shower.
Went home was out of it. Maile was here teied to play thow on bed did but notmuch energy out of it.
Seems like Luxapro makes the world sun dim hazy no connection mabey I just took to much?
Any how grilled chicken for dinner. Rode bike around block. Had some sensations of something
Talking to helen frustration and now wonderng what to do next. Felt like throwing up.
Don’t want to take to much ativain Because I makes me forget doppey and wake up weird. hard to explain all this crap.




Wed Aug 5

Took some melatoninet o sleep at night. Had some natural urges to sleep. Got up felt like heck
Wanted to rip my face off. Want to throw up. Took 1 ativian felt that feeling leave. 1.2 hours later. Felt better At work. Still hard to focus
a lot. Some vision seems better today after ativain. Felt a bit better. Took about ,33 Luxapro With some bits of Ativan about 2-3 went to
bobbies had burrito.
Went home got a bit more out of it. Took Aimee to target. Had fish dinner. Had a bit more energy
After dinner. Could hear some music again drove to traders. Helped clean a bit. Took a nap at 9:00
The nap lasted until 2:30 very teried. Went to bed not it is 3:50


Thurs Day 10 September


Got Up felt numb hard to focus wanted to smack face took ativain. Went to work. Stopped at beach
Did not seem so weird Did some stuff. Went for Hike took .3 Luxapro did not feel I needed Ativain went to work took shower went get
icecreem felt some enery some steady eye stuff went to to see Doc Flynn got Flynn wants me to take .25 Luxapro also some extra
prescriptions. Came home felt awake but not able to rest. Took bottles to reclcler fixed garage door aain. Took care of Faye and Aimee
while
Helen went to get books. Helen came home I was only going to take a nap I crashed untill 1:00 now.
Feel out of it hard to wake up at all. May take walk
Took a beta or Alpha blocker at 3:00 am proplona. Did not help me sleep


Fri Day 11 September
Took I kolipin at 5:-- spept till 7.00 felt like crap wanted to throw up

Read aimee a few books at 8:00 a few wisps nothing. Went to work took about .35 Luxapro
9:00 am drove to trancas. Felt like crap. Went to work wanted went home at 11:30 call doc flyn told im
I think beta blocker screwed me crying took a Klonopin at 12.30 crashed unit 2:30 went to work did some
Work felt goofy. Went home at 5:00 cooked staek walked faye crashed on porch at 9:00 can not sleep.

Woke up 2:00 slept with aime then helen aime got me up at 5:45.

Sat
aimee got me up at 5:45. Sleept on couch did not want to throw up right away. Cloudy
played games with aimee beat beat.

Helen got up at 9:00 I took .4 Luxapro layed down. ½ hour Got up weird decided to go with helen to target
First went around block to sell CAPE stuff felt Luxapro was stating to work.
Went to target. Some 3D focus for a bit. Then got real agitated no focus. Went to eat at Soup Plantation
No focus at first then forced focus. Weired went home did some work played with aimee. hard forced focus. Then slowly lost it. Feel
worse laying down then up at times. Went to park with kids sunny but not much focus bla. Cam home had dinner
Fish had 1 magnisum tab. Doing this now Took ¼ Klonopin at 10

Sun 13 September

Woke up at 7:00 sucked sucked wanted to puke up Aimee woke up turned on TV
Went to Emergency Room Fee so painfull. Took Ativan. Went home sleep till 10:00 took 5mg
Luxapro small bits of walking energy grey glouds suck what are they so dismall now. Went to church felt so sad. Came home just weird
took L-Theaine some vits seemed to be more relaxed a bit more a focus
Went to holloween store then Target. Came home took walk some puke feelings took holy basil some calm took bit nap calm. Got dinner
at Greek. Gave animee bath, Watched FHV I don’t want to take any more anit anxiety




 Mon 14 Sept

Wanted to keep sleeping sleep felling mixted with frustration
Woke up at 7:30 couldnot sit still walked dogs no sense of things
No hunger. Went to work. Some calm but edgey feeling quick towards
Freakky doing animation at work. and a few body movements but not much sense
But doing it took some L-Theiene for focus. Bright sun good. dark clouds bad real weird. Room perseptives not good.

Drove to see Dee some calm but trying hard talked to Dee for awhile told stories
Went to see Amber a to CC got a Pizzia ate about ¾ took ½ Luxapro

Drove back to work started to loose track and focus of the world on the way back.
Did a bit more work jump jumpy took more L-Theine and some Holy Basil.
Got home alert like but super jumpy want to smack things. Took 2 GABA’s
Then took .3 Ativain then got holy basil. Started to calm it after dinner of Chiken.

Took amiee for drive then did some work for Dee. Went to get Niacin took 100 mg
Woke up at 1:30 hot and flustered not sleepy want to sleep but weird.

Did not sleep to much that night.

Tues 15 Sept
Tuesday woke up felt I could not focus. Had to take .55 ativan Went to work
Frustrated overhellmed. Walked a lot did a bit of work confussed forced my self not to take
Ativain, Took L-Theaine and took some holy basil. Came home early talked to niehbor world disconnected to much light.Came home hard
to sit still took Kava Kava went to texas Cattle house had food. Came home aggitated dpressed Put aimee to sleep I feel asleep for 1.5 hours
took small bit of melatonin,


Wed 16 Sept

Woke up in Hell want to vomit rip off face Trying not to take Ativain.
Went to emergency room wanted to die no more ativain. Joyce & Rob came by. Felt so shity.
Went to May Hospital in Valaincia Ambulence. Felt like hell when I got there. Said I made a big mistake at first should have taken ativian.
Did not take ativan for the firt 24 hours. Some light stuff but no Ativain.
Felt like hell. Mostly.

Thurs17 Sept

Still felt like hell big time. Saw the Doc gave me a shot of Ativain. 30 mins later I could talk
Then doc gave em Luvox at about 4 I felt weird more disconnect again asked for an ativain.
Later I was doing pushups and playing gitar. Then to Luvox and Ativain

Fri 18 Sept

Splet OK tthne woke up like hell curled n a ball in the corner. Got more ativain an 1 Konipon later.
Could not function until noon. Depressed. Then I could take better in the eveneing. Had Luvoc And
Antivain


Sat 19

Woke up slept then felt like walking all oferthe place sucked anxiety no sense of where I was.
Took ativain doc later gave me a shot of Ativian. Felt better later on talked a bit to 3D animation
Guy. Went home felt ok on drive home. Did not take Luvox that night



Sept Sun 20.

Woke up 5:- took 1 ativain woke up a 7:15 tunred on TV fo aimee stuff like that.
No throwing up could eat. Go faye up felt calm but no mempry and disconnected.
Got Luvox Prscription for parmacy. Took it. Put light in bath. Calm some ligth but and focus but weird.
Like wanting more.
Took another ativain at 12:00 think we would go to Mall. Took aimee to target.
Could focus just a bit but not great. Came home made box fort with amiee some vision but weird .
Had fish for dinner. Feel down but calm focus. No memory put aimee to bed. Did some work for Dee
Took and Luvox 10:00. May have a sanck & go to bed.


Mon : Got up at 1:00 am felt weird took 1 ativain

Slept till 8:00 no No throwing up could eat. Got faye up felt calm but no memory and disconnected.
Went to work no memory felt disconnected weird took 1 ativain at 11: did IT procurment
It was hard but got done. Felt down went for small hike some sight no conections.

Went home ate at boobys mex went home did some work for Dee. Then went to see aimee at gym late
Frustrated not feeling connected. Went to see Doc in Ventura made mistake depressed.

Came home try to fix garage door. No luck Played marbels with aimee some slight connections.

Surfed net went to Home depot could understand some stuff around me allmost like befire time some extra some less. Going to take ½
Luvox then
Go to bed.

22 Aug Tuesday

Got up felt out of it went to Santini felt depressed light looked sharper but no connection depressed
Like glass in front of it all went to Mugu Consoler talked 1 hour depressed. Went to work Did bits of stuff
Got records felt depressed. Went home Fixed G-Door Feel agitated went to Traderes took 1 ativain 4:30. Went for Dinner. Aniversary
food was good. Got home open presents felt less depressed. Had chocolate moose.
Feel OK now go to bed no meds tonight

23 Aug Wed
Woke up felt some shower a bit of connection rich took me to clinic in Oxnard. Some Focus
but hard to connect. But could sense things. They put me on Deprivan and Versed went out like
a switch woke up like a switch did not know what happened. Had a bit a euporia then it left
went home tried to sleep felt out of it could not. Could not sit still took walked to doctors CHM clinc for records jumps could see light
shapes but hard to connect don’t like the lack of cognition.
Came home cleaned kitchen made shelf sweep yard, cut lawn trimed bushed. Could not settle down.
Took Kava B6 at 3:30 watched TV a with aime could sit a bit but not focus much. Took KAVA Took Aimee to cold stones. Had some
connections but had to work at it to force some calm went
To Pet Shop looked at dogs just shy of some real focus only short short focus. Went to albertsons
Came home did ant traps. Cooked steak very jumpy still took ¼ ativain at 7:00 took another Kava at 7:30
Took some fiber at 9:30. Could not sleep took an ativain at 1 am then at 5 am

24 Sept Thurs

Got up did not sleep tried to puck up in garage went to ER I talked I survived went to work.
Got 3D Scanner went to property tiered hard to see stuff took shower at gym starte pioneer
Went to see Doctor Ruths. Came home tiered down. Very tiered.

25 Sept

Man I wake up feeling bad jumpy big time trying to quit ativian and stuff? Ativian effect MY rem SLEEP CYCLE Took .5 Abilify took a
hike
I guess I felt weak and dizzy after that? Man I went it UCLA ER man I just get sick of thig log to.
Thay can’t help just got keep moving. Sore body. Don’t sleep well



26 Sept

Got up at 5:45 with Aimee.
Felt like shit. Wanted to punch trees. Took Aimee on morning Drive. No connections.
Trying to beat ativan. When to beach acted normal but felt crapy tried to rest.
After nap I could feel a bit more. Went home took shower. 3D look pretty clearer but no real focus.
Took a nap sore throat a bit some body sensation less obsessing. Woke up light look darker. I feel weird.
Drifting off

27 Sept

hard to sleep wake up crying bad had to go to work.
Sun stuff had clarity to it. And work had 3D but can’t feel it.

Felt really bad.

Got home could not take it left house. Went to Carl’s more energy but want a cure no matter what.
Took 1mg Abilify got to hospital. Had some focus end energy thengot tiered out of it zone beast of death on grass. Dave came Zone beast
of death. Drove to Dave’s felt bit better to lay in be there then took
1 more MG abilify. Can’t sleep right feel really weird like I am gone. Talke to Jean. Get up Weird stuff some light sensations but not
knowing what things mean. Got Valjean root took 2 went home. Got home put Aimee to bed. Tiered but no normal sleep.
1 Hr Body feels out it. Got up hr hour later.don’t know what’s up. I think I can eat better. May not want to
throw up as much thak could be because I don’t’ take ativain. Need a med that won’t screw with my sleep?



28 sept Mon
Could not sleep well took many Vajeans. Woke up with amiee layed there by TV. Got Accupuncter
Could not rest there needed sleep. Could cot shuts don’t pressure on head. Had to force my self to settle down. Did a bit of work. Saw
Nuero man will get tests. Back to work same thing with head.

Then I got home saw some sun. Took a nap head felt like it wanted to sleep. Took Aimee to Greek place
Had Ice cream felt better. Went to bed. No meds. Woke up at 3 feel spaced out. Like I don’t know
What stuff means



29 sept Tues.

Got up at 8.30 weird like a TV going on & Off. But some connections. Slept enough went to work.
Finished Pioneer Model. Saw consoler. Had a whole Pizza. Connections on & off came home talked to Helen Connections. Went to work.
Drifted off & on. Came home. More attention on & off. Made finger puppets with Aimee Could talk more with Helen. Did some Turbo
Squid work. Went to IN & OUT & got a taco to. But today in the end was a good day probaly the best day sinci I started this Log.

Note: Abilify made me so I don’t know where I am. And my head had a 24 vice trying to bust out.
No resting. It has a 75 hour ½ life.

30 Sept Wed

Did not sleep the whole night. Brain never when to sleep as far as I know.
Got up was dead out of it the whole day tried to sleep. But could not. Came home tiered.

Brain shut down at about 9:00 got about 6-7 hours of true unbroken sleep.
1 Oct. Got up took care of Faye for 1.5 hours. Went to work feel drifty hazey out of it.
Eyes want to close. Came home can talk if I open eyes. Feet anying tingle don’t like that
In my feet & legs. Came home went to traders to shop bad focus and to much need to more
Smoked cig before came home had Valerian Root. Could not shut brain down.
Went to laydown abot 8:30 slept till 11:00 then know more sleep took Kava and 3 Valerains no luck


2 Oct


Sucked in morning felt like shit bad could not function. Took ativain about 8:30 got accupuncture.
Just about slept in there. Came home. Then did sleep for 2:00 hours woke up dead out. But still in the roomWent to pick up Aimee very
dead. Started to wake up at Panda House. Went to Target to look for pool Got. Toy chest. Came home frustrated with folks.
Took some Wen Dan Wan from accupuncter lady. Went to home depot got selfs. Put them up.
then took more Wen Dan Wan pills. Played marbels with Aimee. Did OK put here to bed.

Took more Wen Dan Wan it is now 9:30

3 Oct
guess I got some sleep woke up dazed & out. But went to beach less pain than last week
Built castle got crab. Some short calm moments of connections with faye. Played more but things looked dark and fading out. Hard to
Sleep took 1 ativain and 1 sleeping pill. The slepping pill has an SSR in them. So may not have been the best thing. Got 4 hours spleep.
Got up felt weird. When to Target
Lost focus in target after a few mins. Came home went to festival with Aimee. But I lost focus
At home got weird not knowing whats up took shower. Talked to Helen good talk. Had In - Out Burger


Mon 4 Oct

Got about 7.5 hours of sleep took a few Wan Dens and 1 Valerian sometime before bed.

Woke up not wanting to move. But no throwing up. Took Aimee to School. Went to work.
Came back. To weird to work but. Less axiety some vauge sensations of noraml but very teried.
Drove to see patties and Steaves houses. Feel fady and not knowing what I see. Got to work.
Ate at Mugu’s pizza post burrito. I have a better appitie now. Forgot Badge Talked to Rich
Allmost felt normal. Then lost it. Went to work tiered talked to Jim B about work.

Still out wanted to sleep at Mugu Lounge Helen Called. Went to Pattys Gym brought smokes
Went Home played with Aimee & Fayee had longer times of no pain an feeling into it.
Took Faye for walk. Feel OK very tiered.

Will talk to Helen Now. Some real small bits of reality trying to punch thru.


Tues Oct 5.

Got up felt blank not knowing whats things are hard to do anything.
Saw consoler rambeled about my fears got accupuncture not much releif.
Got to Taco’s went to work. Felt like my body could connect sensed some old things.
Went to work 2:30 could not focus nothig to do went to gym took 2 Vit E’s ½ tyrosin B6.
Took ¼ Ativan. Came home had dinner took faye felt a bit more later some more body sensations
Slept about 7 hours off on. Took ¼ ativain about 4:30 have nervous fleeting body energy.
Wed 7 Oct

Got up could play with Aimme more bit more focus on TV changing.

Went to work. Did some animation stuff some sensines of things smoother. Took Omega-3 But Fade quick.
Went for Hike got MRI with solution Came home went to Bank with Aimee then Target got ghosts.

Then came home started to get tiered out of it.


Talke to Helen Went to bed woke up at 3:00 some sensations but can’t feel them all want more frustrated.
Took ¼ ativian.


Thurs 8th.

Got up 8:00 with faye so tiered played with faye then Aimee till 9:15.

Stayed home took aimee to school. Forced self to wake up. Tense awake. Sharper dull world
Down & head pressure. Got Dipaers from Target Picked up aimme had a wendys burger.
Helen when for scan. Took Faye & Aimme to Kmart to browse. Want to drop of line but now forced
To think Helen may go in to hospital. Took 1 wand Den 1 kava and one holy basil.

Had Chinken for Dinner Helen is down. Yelled at me. Put kids to bed. May take 1 Wan den.
Trying for some more consentration and reality.


Friday, 2009-10-09

Got Up very disorented. Just a noodle no nightmares slept enough took a Wan Den before bed.
Took 2 Wan Dens at work. Tied to nap in lounge. Got some sense of things then with light and senses but o damn tiered and out of it so
fleeting. Sun was gone and I felt blank blank. Went o GB L talke dto Arron. Sun was out 1 bit better.
Took ½ Vit B probably had a bit more energy

Got home took faye for 40 min walk to park nap for 30 very down wanted to go to whole foods.

Picked up Aimee at Barbras got gifts for Faye Aimee. Legos train and Ball boncer.
Had spagette bolenegse for Dinner. Played with Train after. Got out of it again.

May have a bit more focus? Sleep from 9:30 to 11:30 12:00 to 2:00 then on & off.

Took Valerian root may have helped for a 40 min sleep to Magiusuin and Calcuim no help
Took Vit B-6 took I was very iritated no way to rest log jam in head body not at rest.
I should take one chinese pill or an HTTP 5 tonight
Sat Oct 09th

1 ativain at 7:20
Felt weaker but able to function at 9:00 went to juggiling show. Feel week. Helen tells me how weird I am feel bad about that.




Sat 10-09
Only slept 5 hours. Felt I could not sleep few bad dreams and tried Valerian Root Magesium Camamile Tea, Holy Basil. Finialy at 7:30 I
could not take it I took and 1ativain.

Got up and functioned with Faye & Aimee then went to see Juggler. That was OK
I was still down. Helen cut me down . Aime was great helped me with taxes that felt OK.
Had Hot dogs for lunch and the hard 2 advils and ½ Saklee Vitiam Yellow. went to see steves property. Went to Loe Cablioo of a beach.
That was OK more focus some down got home. Had more energy more relaxed. More focus. Played well with aimee & fayee was better to
Helen no pain. Could relax a bit. Since 3:30 still going fine at 10:30 this is a good day section. Did some face book with movies. Had 1
Wan Den going to bed after some TV.

Sun 11 Oct

Had a lot of cearel and cookies & milk last night
Got up at 8:00 no nightmares prety good sleep. But so stoned out that I was blank for hours.
Must be the Wan Den? It is so blanked out. Took a ½ yellow B-Vit Went to Festival at the old white house. Grey clouds At first weird
hard to focrus or stay awake but some clear aspects that won’t reallt arise. Down Tiered but functioned could arose memories but not
enough to engage.
Sun came out. Not a great help. Went Home Helen was mad that we were gone so long with out her.
Her ways make me much more down. I try to forget and still provide some help to her.
Went to Whole foods to eat. Pretty down. Only small shape recognition.

Some more attention now going to bed.

Mon 12 Oct

Got Up slept enough. Could sense I rested. Got up feel down and hard to focus.
But enough get aimee up and to school. Took ¼ Ativan when to Ojai to look a pemiere wall house.
It was grey I was down. But I functioned. Got Coffee at full of beans on the way back some
OK feelings. Picked up Aimee at School she got dental photo from yesterday in paper.

Went Home a bit while later I got more scatter brained and diving off with head ache. Took 3 Adivil
1 L-Theanine. Started to nibble on an Ativain took about ½ by 6. I had these real world sensations and better light grasps when moving.


Tues 13 Oct.

Got up slept but feel zombied no concentration. Took Aimee to School. Went To work.
Came back to get referal at Santini. Took ½ Ativain. Picked up Aimee went to Soup Plantation.
Went To Accupuncturest. Took ½ more ativian. Omega Vit, Then took Trace minerals and Vit B ½

Did some email work. Some awake sensations. Came home had shrimp for Dinner.
Played marbels with Aimee went to bed hard at 8:30 sleep untill 4:00


Wed 14 Oct
Got up I did sleep Irratble took aimee to school had ½ Yellow Vit Omega Vit Very Irratlbe
Can’t work took 1 Ativan at 11:00 came home at 12:30 watcthed kids. Did some work
Took L-Theiaine at 3:00 took walk felt draggey down. Got home. Had some enregy to play with Aimee
Had Fish for dinner Put Aimee to bed more focus now. Feel some better sensations. Not bad




Thurs 15 Oct,

Sleep OK then know I am out of it. Drank some green tea just to wake up.
Took Aimee to School wathced Kids while Helen had Meeting with. Harry & Scott.

It’s as if part of my brain could sense some reality and so on the edge that it wants to fall off.
Got a Coffee and a Malt. Got brain scan felt like sleeping but focus on brian came home took kids for walk
frustrated with senses of vision feel like I can see older world but as if I am in a glass bowl. Had ½ L-teainine 8:00 will have ¼ ativan.


Fri 16th

Woke 5:00 felt rested for 5 mins. Then took ¼ ativan. Took L-Theainine Got up felt like very hard to do stuff. Took Aimee to school.
Watch Faye while helen worked. DiD bills called docs went to park Brain not working.
Went to see Kong 12 feel hazey and ready to fall off . Saw Oxnad shrink. Said go to UCLA
Came home felt like nowhere to 1.4 yellow vit Omega Bannana. Went to Sports Chalet.
A few relaxed Connections. Went to look at cars. Some better light. Had Chinken for Dinner
Felt some body sensations comfortable and some 3D sesations Focus had bike ride back from Johns flet oK seneastion of your felt I can
Sleep Had ice creem & Muffin & Milk today


Sat 17th

Had Head Ache at 3:00 took several Asprins and ½ codine
Got up at 7:00 with Aimee felt no focus. Tried to do Crafts so Tiered but sense of Light drifting only when Took Aimee Y& Faye to Park
till 12:00 very down went to see John’s dad on Truck still took ½ Yellow Vit Cryed like baby Helen yells at me want to croak. I feel fvery
out of it edgey for pleasure at all at 4:00 Camamille Tea at 3:00 this day was hard had bannana
Went to park but nothing no spark just frustration. Fish for dinner I feel semi stabel but
Not feeling like sleep head feels Jammed Real Depressed but feeling things more like I did before.


Sun 17th
only slept about 4-5 hours had about 1 5-HTP a 2:00 am ½ ativain at 3:30.
Helen let me sleep
              untill 9:00 felt some sensations trimed bushed with Faye
Had some tea played with Aimee some bit of peacfull sense then lost some
Took ¼ ativan at 1:00 amiee went to Beach Party. I went to Haror Fireight Cut Lawn.
Still very hard to break thru brain barrier but some light feel crappy but enough
Sensation to do stuff. Took Faye to TO target some energy not great able to talk
Came home took 1 hour nap woke up down but could play with Aimee for 1 hour.
Made Pizza after I watched AFV and walked Faye I felt better more focus
No real anxxiety or deep depression wacthed Desperate House wifes.
Had some Ham will have a bit of 5 HTP




Mon 18 Oct

Well all I took last night was a bit of 5-htp

Got up blank weird went to work
Light was dim crisp but hard to graps very nerv wracking
I can not think or remember crisp but no concentration. Went home did some turbosquid stuff Mailed packages
letters tried to call doctors make a Santini apt.

Stared to dabble with Ativain about 2: then 4 1 Ativan total seemed came home at 6:00
Played dig dong with Aimee & Faye had fish & beans for dinner. Crashed at 8:30 work at 2;00 Took 3 aspirns at
2:00 seem to have some sense of reality at this time of night.

Tuesday 19 Oct
Slept from 8:30 to 1:30 got up got milk
Slept from 3:00 to 6:00

So So damn tiered in the morning

Got Decaf Coffee waking only a bit with some sensations

Took small bit of brain Optimizer time 11:13

Got in Rear end collision saw Doc Santini at 12:30 asked to get referal UCLA Nuro
Feel Dizzy out of it. Got some divalproex took about 75 mg which is ½ at 3:00 went to
Find Mandalay Hotel Found it Wrong Place. Walking Very Fast only sensations of light and room
Effects which I was was calm. Got Home feel Hard to sit still can’t concentrate no interest
In other things hell I don’t know if it is this small does of divalproex may make it hard to sleep.
1:00 am still up feel awake but very unhappy. Took Val root at 3:00 wake up at 4: taking cal mag
B6 and teac mins mike Holy basil Tad of Gaba only slept 2 hours.

Wed 20 Oct

got up with faye & aimee for 45 min
Sucked can funcking angery at my self took 1 ativain at 10:30 came home felt better tiered
Took care of Faye when Helen went to school had family photo taking at 6:00
Went to Greek resturant.


Thus 21 Oct slept a lot
Slept Enough
Got up out of it took care of the kids not upset with my self like yesterday Went to work took some
Weird sensation like I can feel but again so fleeting. Talked to Dave a bit. Took 1 Busbar.
Did not seem to affect me took walk to beach had some new more normal sensation but mixed
And very small hard to see. Went Home at lunch to Greek reasturant again some sensations but
Then I took faye to park. Brain is blank. Went to work. Did work but brain fade. Took L-Theainie
Came home alert brain fade like sensation on finger tips but go. Did logo for Robert
Took ½ Busbar.Linda has more work. Took 1/3 ativian at 2:20 am took 2 aspin 3:20


Friday 23
Did not sleep a lot. Got up Just moved around and felt bad not laying around
Felt agitated and compressed glassey vision at work. Took ½ Busbar at 9:30 did work felt agitiated
No sense at 10:30 took ¼ Ativian. Did more work took 1/3 Ativain a 11:20. Ate. Took ½ more ativain
At 12:00 drove to property. Some things felt like old times walking up road which was not great.
Hills looked glassy but I could sense a few things.
When back to work Did some more. Made some calls felt a bit more able to talk later took a nap
Felt some rest came home went to Home Depot felt abit of conection played with amiee in tent
Felt some connection made dinner a bit more tiered. Did some work for Linda felt more concentration
Felt OK talking to Helen. Not so compressed and weird like yesterdau. Time for Bed. 11:20

Sat 24 Oct.

Slept enough got up 7:00 felt I had to move and need to wake up drank Green tea.
Had some real physical senations in tent outside playing. Went to Home Depot got new tolet seat could sense things in vision but stuf like
my mind quick like I would go blank. Not know what clear but no sense.
Opened presents took ½ Ativain went to beach felt weird on the way like totally static brain blockin at stimulie
But awake with some clear very unnerving.

Did stuff at beach but felt uncomfortable unly a few hard to punch feeling at first then fade.
Got home. Feel I forced I can do but body really wants to fade. Upoading photos now not sure what to do next also body feels achy feel
were tigley during th day I don’t like that cleaned house untill 3:00
Trevor talked took 1/3 ativain at 3:00 woke up at 8:00 felt upset yawn try to awke but no sense got ice cream.

25 Oct

Only 4 Hours sleep cleaned all last tnight push body got up whipped head around yawns were need
Good but no enough feel doppy and took 1/2 busbar at 11:00 lost more focus lated mad at self big time punched ribs had to leave house
drove to ER so upset Walked in fields cried cops stopped me so dead
Drove to Valenciec to Hospital can’t feel. Came home belived I could sleep hard but can’t 2:00 2:24 Took ½ Ativian Can’t Sleep

26 oct Got up only slept 6 hours.
Feel donged out can’t play with aimee. Stayed home went back to bed can’t sleep.
Changed oil on truck went to accupuncturest. Down for first hal felt a few twinges of better
On second half. Came home so felt ver very iratable like I needed to punch head, Helen took kids out.
It felt at that time as if I could when moving sense some real life ways but I was on the edge really
I took some new chineses pills trace minerals 1 ativain holy basil then did lots of work for linda
When helen got home the Ativain was kicked in. Took kids to park tiered but did it.
Had chicken for dinner. Did a bunch more work for linda alsomist felt like old times???
Had some tea took a few more New chinese balls. Maybe a holy basil.

One other thing about 2-3 hours after I took that ativian I was tiered but later at 11:30 I am not that tiered.

27 oct Got up 7 hours

Felt a new weird feeling but depressed bad dream about neil.
Went to work can’t sense things but some surface bodystuff just did letter on mstuff just did letter on m conditon and went to See Toxin
Man spent 1200 bucks on tests on consult.

Says I have some posioning. Have a surface sense of some real real world but can fade like a thin egg shell
Seem tiered no drifting off. I took not ativaon today Says I have some posining. Have a surface sense of some real real world but can fade
like a thin egg shell
Seem tiered no drifting off. I took no ativan today


28 Oct Did not sleep to good.
Just hell dealing with my body tried to sleep get reality. Went to Work Dizzy Drift no hard reailty
Sad taked to Joyce. Did Pee test Saw Doc Ruth Gave em Olozioane took . 19 amount .went to did some work for Rob Came home played
did stuff Some sense of hard reailty but eyes closed head pushing only


29 Oct Got up at 4:00

Did this log seems like I am starting to wake up whatever. Some Calm sense.
It has be 60 hours since I took an ativain. Play with Faye some times I sensed things
But then I drop went to work. Took Vit B Then soon things felt non-understadable. Went to see Doc Kong.
Very Very unnerved paced a lot. At one took snipet of ZeprxWent to target got Helen Gift hard hard to Focus so hard. Went home feel
head is full of log watch Faye a bit Did some work drank tea took L-Theatain HolyB. Did a 3D model for Steve on Scanner a few bits of
concentration. Some body movements
And like ect look like old time but my head was way heavy that was not good.
Came home could see things at time fade off way a lot took another .4 Zeprx at 7:30


Spent 1 Week in Hospital.

Took a drive to Ojai felt weird old sensation but could no understand them.
Got home felt depressed went to hosital.

Put me on Seriquill. Spent a week Head would throb felt like loosing brain. Changed my head state but I got real depressed. Came out of
hospital world look different but like I was in a big grey bubble
Things were glooming.

Ray & Yvonne Came. I had some bad bad mornings on Seriquill. A few days later I got off.
Started to take a small bit of Gedeon.

11 Nov day after I saw nick & he did reki . In that day I took 20 mg of Geodon. Felt real down
depressed on trip to see nick. I picked up just a bit on the way home. Took some HTP-5

12 Nov I woke up after sleeping ok. Some sensations were coming back but. Took a very small git of Geeodon. And I could connect at
times farily well. Did some significate work tody but the feelings faded later feel depressed. Came home feel head not heavy but hard to
connect but I can function some. Left at night did not sleep at all.

13 Nov Friday did not sleep took Geodon at 5:30 did not sleep. Felt
weird. Down. Took nap from 11 to 1:30 felt down getting up took Fay for walk.
Stores seemed dark inside. Made Pizza. Went to bed early hard to connect.
Took sleep ing pill at 1:30 doing this now.


Sat 14 Oct:

Just took Inositol today. Depressed anxiety feelings today went to mall with Ray & Aimee
Could function but forcing brain to work. Came home had Pasta went to bed at 11 woke up at 2
Can’t sleep no meds.


Sun 15 Nov Aimee birtday Did not sleep function on here birthday it was hard
Took 8 scoops isnonitol in morning. Brain stopped function Took about 6 chinese balls
Could not sleep night.

Mon 16th Got Up went to work some times I had small functioning ascpects.
Came home pretty out of it with only some ability played rummincan with aimee
Could s sense a few things took lumensta at midnight woke then took ather at 3:00
Slept 7 hours feel groggy and out.

Tues 17 Nov Got up less pain but out of it. Hard to get berings untill 11
Not to good. Then got more sense of things depressed and hard to connect
But could sense more. Tiered but probably not that bad today

Wed 18 Nov did not sleep a lot went to work came home brain won’t sleep
By brain went frazzle at dinner Not much sleep sucks. Took Lunmesta t 11:00 slept a broken night.


Thurs 19 Nov

Got up things sucks jumped around like a weirdo can’t rest in best. Helen took
Me to Toxin man got vits took some. Came home. Went to work a bit.
Feel depressed had dinner took nap woke up feel a bit less scattery more focus
Working at computer now. 9:15 takeing more of the vit stuff


20 Nov – 29 Nov

When on trip to sedona. Took some Liquid vits Redisoreb and some of those vits with HTP5 and L-Thienie in them. It was a rough week I
don’t know where I am brain can’t sense reality

Redisoreb seems it would things hard to focus so was Travocor. Got the Swine flu on the way back head wanted to explode. Went to
clininc took some Tamaflu. Seemed to make me crazy I cried.
Bad fever. Later Ray and Yvonne left. I feel like crap in the morning not taking much of anything at night.
Jumpy and out of it everything looks dark to me.. But I may be sleeping better

6 Dec-7 Dec. Ray & Yvonne are gone. I am so tiered I cn’t get my brain to wake and focus on anything
cleared bushes take Aime & Faye for rides but no brain power. Don’t know what to take.

Dec –8 15th\

Had Swine flu felt like hell don’t know what went on Took Tama Flu
Dec 15th Thru XMAS.

Took a bit of HTP-5 at times and Vits. Felt like I am going to short out at any time bad.

Went to see doct Madeinburg twice first time don’t know how I could drive down.


The day before I was messed up crying bangning head took some HTP-5 that day

Second time Helen Drove me the day after head banging at times I though I could see better but
Depressed and angery. Ate at 7th Ray lost it did some work on driveway had 30 min of some
Demented energy.

Did not take any HTP-5 Tues went to see butterflies. Head and mind were pounding
Can’t sleep in the mornings jecked out of bed by bad thoughts Suck Sucks

23 Dec Felt bad that day saw Doc Kong Got News on Spinal

24 Dec Felt messed up that day but drove around a lot went to Chuch show. Felt misserable that night.

25 Dec Chirstmass Day Made it thru morning felt like hell later tried to sleep feel so depressed sun sucks

26 Dec. Woke up felt like hell jerked out of bed in anger drove to work sent an email felt a bit better
then took nap felt like hell played with aimee out side took another 2 hours nap woke up took Faye & Aime for 1.5 hour walk to Tues
mornings went to bed at 8:00

27 Dec woke up at 2:00
Could not fall back got agitated allways jerked out of bed felt so bad in morning when to clinics to kill time
So sad. Depressed no focus some vision but I can’t understand it. Came home helped with kids took a nap from 3 to 5 bad memory watched
sound of Music. Helen consoled me at 9:30 bed time



28 Dec

Had a few bowls of cereal and a sussage last night. Woke up at 1:30 went bad to bed.
Sort of slept. At about 5 I started to get that jerk me out of bed feeling I hate.

Could sense walls a distances better but fade out. Did about 30 mins of work on a navy ship.
Faye got up took her for walk. Then drive. Saw some things felt real light walls buildings
Some times of energy then frizzeled out. Went to feed Ducks in T.O. some view of real world
Then a frizzel go to whole foods had food. Some times of focus then Frizzel took car to car wash then aimee to GYM some momments of
real then Frizzel walked aimme talked to arron took a nap from 5 to 7
Mad dead mind if fried not good.

Had weniers in a bun and soup then watched sound of music feel frizzeled put aimee to bed.
Then slept with her from 9 to 11 got up talked to Helen felt Frizzeled now doing this going to bed.
Some less frizzel.


29 December, 2009

Had some Omega and mg calcuim vits at 4:30 Felt like hell. Can’t sleep at all paced the garage for hours
Crying no sense. I hate it was no use took walks feel like crap depressed can’t get my brain to feel. Whippering a lot. Wlk around a bunch
blocks. Took two Gaba’s saw Santini Doing some Heavy Metals Tests and some AutoImune tests. Also got some restless leg stuff.

30 Dec

Slept a bit better not as much Jerk me out of bed.
I was pretty weak got very tiered walking dogs around 1 block. Had this new could feel face a bit at times.
But fade quick drop off. Got blood test for metals at 7:30. Went to eat at Chuck wagon aimee & faye. I could see some things at times But
faded off. Went to Getty Musuem could see some wider 3D but forced my self into conciusness not good. Found out about PET scan. Felt
like passing out at times then some unkown energy. Came home. Ate at Greek felt like passing out at times. Read to Aimee. Went to bed a
at 9:15
Could not fall asleep 1:00 am now don’t like this not sleep. Took some Gaba and a Dab of HTP-5
Sucks worse now

31 Dec

No sleep woke up toss and turn brain in pain. Could see some stuff but brain won’t let me sleep.

Frustrated. Drove to property dumped dirt. Went to work talked to Joyce. Came home so weak.
Can’t play took faye for walks. Cryed like demented man in gargage. Had PET Scan shot me with Isotopes rested for 45 mins than had 20
min scan. Helen picked up cam home tiered. Helepd out only a bit.
Had pork chop & cus cus after fasting. So week and feel no connected to vision.

When to bed slept about 6 hours got up 3:30 weak with head ach. When to CVS to get adval. Then to MC Dee’s to get 2 migriddels. Can
see well feel more connected than a long long time (Vision wise) and a bit of body sensation is good. Hard to think and it feels like it can
fade fast but that is it. Feels like wires that can short out. But it still seems good at 5:15 am going back to bed. I need to remember this.

No drugs. I still feel




1 Jan 2010


Got up at 10 sleeping with Aimee slept a lot felt like forzen body in bed.
Got up disorented a lot. Took a while to get some sense of the world in me.
Did this by scrubing floor sweeping leaves, when to the park with Helen and kids.
Feel like passing at times. A few times on a walk or a drive I felt some short
Boosts of energy and sense of reality. I barbeepqueed a steak for dinner.
Had two advils. Started frazzing out in a big way at 8:00 did sleep from 8:30 to 1:30
I feel disconnected waking at 1:30 It is 3:30 now. Did letter to Kong. Go to post office.

2 Jan

Got up at 2:00 could not sleep felt the body snaps. Took Faye for morning walk.
Wanted to go get steroids. Took kids to park had Mocha and Cookie came home took nap. Got up at 4:00 tried to play Dead tiered.
Cooked Pizza. Played with Aimee till 9:00 went to bed sleep till 2:30 did computer stuff till 3:30 no memory sleep untill 8:00 broken feel
dead no energy light is dim.


3 January, 2010
Got up took dogs for walk feel dead only some vision sensation week. Took MSM walked Faye to mall
Got home felt frustrated looked for Blue Cross Cards. Aggitated feels like heat boils me my head wants to pop went to garage pounded
floor with rubber hammer hard. Wanted to go to get steroids skipped that. Went to Beach. Was a bit wacked and Cross eyed at beach
tiered dug sand pile. Walked with aimee for shells then felt some sensation laying on beach towel looking in one direction. Vision seemed
sharper on way home more alert. Had pasta for dinner did a bit of music band with Aimee. Took another Tamerane Crashed in to bed for a
bit. Could feel the sense of covers for about 1 min better than nothing. 3:00 am doing this feel some alert but tense. Hard focus?


4   Jan

Got up went took Faye for walk felt nothing. Took a MSM went to work felt tense crappy can’t see or work. Went to get PET scan have
small cyst. Tense no vision at work looking at web. Came home 4:00
Took Tamarack feel dead can barrley think. Read to aimee no feelings went to bed woke up at 2:30
I am dead. Tryied to lay so weak no sensation whimper in bed. Pace garage at 7:00 smash floor I hate it.
5 Jan Frustrated at work
Took 1 MSM hard to focus whippered at night


6    Jan

Woke up frustrated pound floor of Garage. Went to See Nuro Guy Sung took for ever.
Seting up meeting with MS guys at UCLA going to see nuro surgene picked up birth records.
Feel tense not enough light entering head. Went to work called aracnoid cist girl. Set up apt at UCLA
Did a small amount of work. Hard to think. Came home at 5:00 hard to think week tiered punchy could not play much stayed up till 10:30 in
bed till 5:00 not so punchy have small sore thraot took 2 advil diarea a bit
Took pepto.

7 Jan
Got up with Aimee not so much whimpering in morning.
Went to work week. Then saw Nureosurgeon then Kong. Went home week but some sensations
Met with Rob did power point. Came home ate at Sushi some focus week at times took a nap short felt hard Down. Did letters up till
midnight. No pill nothinsg had 2 glasses milk and 2 salimi sandwichs before bed


8 Jan
Guess I splet a bit better woke up at 3:00 went back to bed stayed untill 7:00 no jerkng or whimpering but
Dull blah with some sensation weak. Started doing blog weird went to work at 10:30. Felt weak by thin curtain of real sensation but
depressing came threw. Did some work for Rob and Kathy Smith, Came home at 5:30 played but felt punchey. Felt Punchy Reading to
Aimee getting mad reading long phoo book. Had spoon of Peanut Butter & Milk may go get in&out burger

9    January, 2010

Got up at 7:00 felt angery pushed jacko. Had to leave room. Can’t do much went to Harry’s
Functioned. But feel so unable to relax tried to nap just started talking to my self so out of it. Some vison
But I drop off. I hate it Need to calm down some how.


10 January, 2010

Got up at 7:30 felt weak and down & out of it had some allegy on Face went to Clinic got
Some presidone took 2 small tablets to day. Played with Aimee from 3:00 t0 4:00 gingerbread man
Took the kids for a walk 2.5 hours had pork for dinner. Finished blog today.

Had 2 cookies & milk went to bed. Not showing anxiety but feel down.

11 Jan

Took a presidone pill took aimee & Faye to local mall for 2.5 hours did not do to bad.
Came home took another pill at 12:15 got stuff from micheals with aimme to male bells
Got food from Baja. Crashed after lunch for 45 min had goofy down thoughts in sleep
Got up to go on Hike to park and to Book store. Took 40 min nap after we got hoem Feeling flustered and weird pretty much the whole
Time had to get home ate dinner finished bells watch AFV did some computer work ate peppers hot.
Had bowl of Cereal did some taxes

Just enough energey to keep focus and function gues I don’t have anxiety cant see some things better.


12 Jan

Got was weak went to work forgot badge went to UCLA ER to speed things up did not help
See some light but feel down and no focus. Took 2.5 preganos came home had a bit of MSM and Celery
Went to target did some taxes

13 Jan
Got up walked Faye had a few moments of OK energy had a small chunk of vit no Steroids
Had bit of Litagro vit. Felt nervous awake but felt like I would fade. Went to lunch had pizzia then a bit of stuff came back
Focus some feelings took Faye Aime to mall in car felt like fading but managed. Have bit of Tuning fork head problem not sure if it is
fading. Took nap 9 to 10 feel out of it on computer for awhile took omega 3
Got up 3:30 had cup of Camamillo Tea

14 Jan
Got up 7:20 pissed punchey had 1 alpha lipotic acid doing valitines went to work felt very anxious hard to focus no crying Came home at
12:30 ate at round tabel could feel more normal saw TV a bit better at KMART came home talked to helen went back to work tiered but
functioning did work came home took 1 more alpha lipotic had luteolin, vit put aimee to bed looked im mirror felt old time jim face crack
smile so tiered fleeting real sensation in bed with aimee so tiered napped from 9 till 10:30 woke tiered no ambition
To get out of bed. Watcxh alien a bit had eggs taost & salami could sense some stuff

15 Jan

Tiered took faye for walk went to work took ½ aplha lipo seemed to have better concentration or some vision. Did work came home
cracked a smil to helen could see room better. Fady ate ate ME & Eds Pizzia with faye on walk. Felt like fading after. When to
work. More fade nervouse. Took a lutrin (Celery thing)Did not feel much better. Did more work hard to concetrate. When for ride. Jumpy
hiked jumpy.Cam hometook kids to traders joes. Had Chili. Took aimee to home depot for shower. Fade off.
Took faye for walk fade off sleep from 9 – 3:30 up have a bit of sense feel some breezes. Took 2 advil Can fade. Better than nothing

16 Jan

Sleep was not great felt have ear ringing wind sensation at night out of it took advil at 3:30 KAVA at 5 and ½ green vit and L-Theiine at
7:00 Light seems to give peace at 8:00 More alert in Shower dizzy on the way to work and hunumune like I am passing out. Better when
still Took 1 MSM felt down and real fady took a 12 hour ginko a 4:30 the rest of the day took aimee & faye to MC Dee before dinner had
salmon & rice for dinner weak after dinner. Crashed at 8:00 slept untill 4:30 Felt good sensation when I woke up
Light but It apperas it can fade. 7:00 got up took a ginko Got up with kids played feel like fading but some
Sensation got swing set it up swept up yard felt like some working sensation then overwhellmed but still did it took a 20 min nap felt some
senations of old time. Went to farmers market. Then got baja played with aimee till 3:00 needed to crash. Slept from 3 – 4:30 woke up
scary did not know what day it was who I was anything very scary had to walk for 1 hour to begin to wake up wanted to go to ER. But
some sunsations better. Had o Pizzia no memory. Doing taxes. Had tumaric Pill last night

17 Jan

Did not sleep well woke up depressed. Had a bit of Tummaric acid at night. That Ginko yesterday must have been to much also had one
Lutein in morning Just worked on drainiage helped stacy fell weak like heck depressed. Worked on Printer can’t feel well. I think Ginko,
Tummaric and Luteiin don’t held either that sucks. Took a small bit of Green Vit. Had squash soup for lunch. Felt down took a nap. Got
up
Took Faye & Aimee in rain to get ice cream Faye spilled drink. Cam home had shrimp pasta watched AFV took fate for walk. If I rest I
can feel better but I fade.

17 January, 2010

Got up felt down vision squint raining but I did sleep a long stretch. Played with Faye & Aimee
Took them for ride to eat micheals for cookie stuff and then trader joes. I had some no-tense body feelings
A points and could function. But I could fade. Did some work for Dee.          Took a 1 hour nap 12-1 woke up out of it very out. But the sun
came out after 1 hour or so I took aimee to gym and had some senations
Light is still dim but I had some good functionings went to Poco Loco and could talk a joke well enough untill 8:30 did work also. Had
pasta to and chicken for Dinner gave faye a bath started to fade but still going

18 Jan

Got got new badge fadey but some ability to see old 3D depressed. Sun Came out.
Took aimee & faye to YMCA then out to dinner. Felt like some older functioning did work stayed up till 10:00

19 Jan Got up felt down weak but enough o function body sensations could feel shower.
Thunder went to work did work feel the need to shut down cam home. Hard to sleep at lunch bad.
Went back to work did some stuff talked worked out when to majic shop to got more & more agitated as the evening went on Had pasta for
dinner did work for Dee Scanned blood tests. Took faye for loke walk.
Got to calm down?
20 Jan
Did not think I could sleep but I Slepted but Got up felt down went to see Rumitoid doctor felt nervous axiety. Got tests went to work. Felt
weak did stuff worked out a bit. Had pork barrito had to connect but
Functional body movements did stuff for Dee. Had beef for dinner Came home spoke to Jean. Did some work for Dee walked Faye splet
with Aimee 1.5 hours. Did more work had turkey sandwich did doc letter.



21 Jan

Slpet a lot woke up weak but had a reak weak sense of things ligth exct had some super food.
Saw doctor Larry drive down was ok has some steady views some more alter feelings.
Aware of body more at times today
Wants to do sleep study gave prescription may give me a analeptic. Faded after awhile Got a bit nervous not as bad as yesterday. Had a bit
of pepto bismal Came home had Tukey sandwich took Aimee to naces Light was good had some
Had a Peanut butter shake Feeling OK took faye to light store good light vision. Inside the house more tense more depressed feel like no
connection. Had a bit of TGM

22 Jan

Took 2 asprin in the Morning, Took ½ DHEA today went to farmers market then to mall feel like I can do stuff but my head And ears keep
frying. Sold cookies with aimee took 2 advil at 2:15 walked to Tuesday mornings had frapacino can home had shimp peas rice. MTook
ride to traderes feel brain burnt non-connect. Took 35 min before super. Did more work after supper feel a bit better played with Aimee
had a bit of pepto took faye for long night walk that was static good oK


23 Jan

We all slept untill 9:00 I had some warm sensations holding Faye I felt disoreinted when I got out of bed.
Went to Bobbies had some light feeling looked at open house took aimee & faye to park could function felt some body but get down burnt
wall still there had a small bit of green vitiman. Doing more work for Dee.
Faye is asleep 2:32 going to try and break now.

24 Jan

Slept enough feel like I can’t get out of bed. Got up went felt had 1 L-Thethinine some body sensation had ribs loose conciousnes went to
property plan trees felt irritated down. Drove to steves property
Walked around OK. Came back to work Felt nervous but did stuff. Came home checked up on urine
Feel down tiered went to bed early very teired

25 Jan

Got up feel hard to get awake took small Nuvigil bit went to see Santi did ultra sound feel tense. Trying to calm it down. Move around a
lot.
Went back to work did some work went to branch meeting feel down but can function to do some work.
Went to gym worked out a bit took a shower. Did some more work fired up simulations. Had branch meeting. Could talk. Came home
took kids around block had chili for super. Not at tiered as yesterday.
Took aimee to tooth fairy. Had pop corn left early when to get Ice Cream felt some real normal try feelings More clear. Came home
body working a bit better. Went for sleep study singinto I am a walrus up the grade. Lots of wires slept about 6 hours. Groggy felt
belt sensations on the way home and doing this. Had some eges.



26 January, 2010

Did sleep study lots of wires. Woke up groggy but could sense stuff in the twilight light when home could still sense stuff. Had some
cookies an milk tried to sleep some more. Woke up phased out drove to work.
Light & body could be better better than yesterday did some work ate at China Buffet could sense things went to Harrys to see wally. but
fade fade. Came home felt thing could appear but fade off. Memory can really fade fast also had some flaxseed oil. Had some
echinacha tea I wander if that was good
Took ½ B Vit at 4:30 had a bit of HTTP Feel very punchy not happy jumpy can’t sleep with out feeling punchy

27 jan

Again woke up pissed swinging fist. Went to work no memory at all harsh feelings no fun.
Did work cam home lunch did work for Dee could function enough to do work. Had small bit SAME Went back did more work worked
out, cam home took Faye and Aimee to MCDEE’S had lamb for dinner.
Gave Faye Bath & Walk. Had Soy Milk Cereal did some more work. 10:00 pm now
Down but not super down. Can work.

28 Jan

Slept enough was a bit pissed in bed at end. Felt some real calm body sensation in the morn felt good. Went to work for 1 hr drove
to see Doc Nelson had some good real senations. Fade A bit at the docs got a burrito in Ojai good sensations. Drove home fade a bit took
aimee to get pizza. Good then some fade
Went to work did some things then fade worked out. Had a bit of SAME a bit bit of MSM and more SOY Cam home had shrimp fro diner
had a short nap then energy did animation and updated blog. Talk to Helen by fire good day in all! 11:30 bed time

29 Jan

Had a bunch of Soy Last night. Had a bit of HTTP at 4:30. Did not sleep as well woke up in a hole
Went to Ojai to see house felt more disconnected had to focus. Ate in Ojai. Came home took 2 advil.
Some light was like old summer but hard to stay there. Came home took Kids dogs to Coffee shop walk.
Cam home cut lawn broke up side walk concrete grilled steaks for dinner. Took Faye for walk went to Target had icecream did taxres
went to bed at 11:00 day ways more frustrating.

Sun Jan 31

Got up with kids faye was up at night.
Out of it but some body sensation. Took kids out to Chuck Wagon sugar pancakes, Pirate Beach, Beach Museum. It was OK I could have
some senstaions but I was dropping of and on the edge of out of it.
But when into it was not to BAD. Came home help to clean did a bunch. Had lots of thoughts noo related to sickness but on the edge Had
some sugar root beer had some nuts is that bad
That may have been a bad Idea. Crashed from 3:20 to 5:00 really out of it kinda of scary again.
Had a cup of Green Tea to wake up.
Called tree gut got estimate of 1300. Had Orange chicken and rice for dinner. Gave kids bath had a bit of green vit. Had a Salami
Sandwich and a bit of Soy

1 Feb 09

Got up felt dead took faye for ride helen was pooped. Went to work did some stuff felt pretty
Depressed. Numb took a bit of nureo optimizer. Came home odrer printer ate at bobbies. Back at work
Did a bit more felt real down took a hike. Came home had Greek for dinner. Did Taxes watched
Brothers and sisters. Can function but down. Had bowl of Soy Ceral Feet bottom hurts legs week




2 Feb
Slept better no whimpers or punching . deeper sleep. Wore nasal thing.
Wake up hard to feel bit more real deeper body sensations. Had the trees cut down. Helen got new printer set that up. Did some anaimtion
at mugu. Played with Aimme & faye all the walks and stuff. Allmost want to do to much must calm and get sleep. Will go get Soy and
have a bit more like last night,

3 Feb

Felt numb down when I woke. Went to work at 9:30. Got some flavanoids took 2 today Did work felt numb but some steady
understandinf and things I was aware of but still down. Took a hike it was OK. Feel unconnectged but can understand some things.
Worked out a bit showered . Went back did more animation. Had pork sawndwich at MWR. Did more animation stayed untill 5:15. No
zip world is to dull. Some hues are OK. Cam home had turkey colyflower and isralie cus cus for dinner. Bathed kids.
 Getting ready for sleep study.
4 Feb

Did sleep study only slept 3 hours masks sucked. Slept at home from 6:30 to 8:30 could feel my body in bed in several positions. Weak
went to work ate at poco loco. Couls feel body sensations but weeak and fadey. Came home dug trench. Saw santini. Had flavanoid.
One at lunch on at 5:30. Had beef & mashed pototoes for supper Sky look good but I got fadey get to feel out of it no strength by 8:30
gone. Had a bowl of Soy at 10:00

5   February, 2010

Did not sleep well was pissed off. Walked dogs felt donked. Had fish sandwich small decaf saw miriam
Took Faye from 1-4 went to bank soup plantation then sports shoped then ross. OK but donked.
Picked up Aimee for Gym. Had tilapia for dinner. Had Tukey chili snack had small bit of green vit today
Took detox bath go to bed soon 10:40
6   February, 2010

Slept better Hard to wake up took dogs for walk hard to wake up. Took Aimee & faye to Babies are us.
Had egg barittos and small decaf. Some good ability to see or sense larger rooms but brain can’t do it all. Went to Ventura Harbor Musuem
some good real world sensations but. Can’t Maintain.
Went to IKEA. Fade in and out on drive. Had swedish meeat balls & cake. Can sense real things at times but also have the edge to die off.
Light at IKEA parking lot looked good. Came home set up new light.
Had pizzia and small taco’s gave kids bath. Brain goes blanks.


7   February, 2010

Slept enough but woke up phased. Had a B-Vitiman full cleaned garage. Back yard. Poor memory
Took Aimee to Hulies Party Felt some more abilty to think after 12 had Baja Barrito.
Cleaned a lot. Cut Lawn cleaned shed cut some branches. Took Faye for long walk to local Mall.
Feel down. Had Pork for dinner with isralie Cus Cus. Did some navy model work.
11:00 going to bed.

8   February, 2010

Got up took Faye for Walk, Aimee & Faye to fast food. Memroy fade went to work felt punchy
Took big truck to drop off cement. Some sharp sensation then fade off. Ate chicken burrito at Bobbies.
Did some more animation. Worked out a bit took shower took small bit of Green Vit. Came home
Was kind of OK if I did not get stressed gave kids bath started to feel angery punchy swining,
Took walk felt punchy. Felt like some sensation were OK if I stayed still to much action & I get fadey



9   feb

Wake up piised swinging fists. Had V8 then 2 L-theataniline egg barrito for breakfsat subway sandwichPork for dinner. Did full
ketchen .Felt better woke up groggy but slept. V8 then 2 L-theataniline may have helped

10 February, 2010

Had a big tukey cheese avacodo and tomato sandwich last night
To bed at 1:00 up at 7:30. Slepted deeper. No swinging. Stayed up t late feel groggy in the Morn.
Can feel very light body sensation. Then fade of the mind .comes I can’t work well.

Had tomato Jucie for breakfast 1 L-thieline a bannana. Some water fizzy. Home at 11:00 try to stop this fade. Had Panda food for lunch
felt OK a bit before food then got fadey. Did some more work. Could really talk woory about fading. Took Kid to Rocket Fizz & then
CVN while helen got hair cut.
Took 1 adivil
Felt fadey had pasta for dinner read to aimee less punchy could be calm like took faye for night walk.
Still have head ache bit at 9:00
11 Feb

Felt some real good squeezy body sleep sensations in the morn but sleep was not to good had bad head ach last night took lots of adival
woke up groggy. At work function was hard. Out of it bad. Had some tomato juice pork wrap
At lunch some connections come back then fade. Came home got letter from Miriam picked up aimee
Taked to nance for a while. Took a nap feel dwon with some slight new distance sigth had some Taco Bell food going to sleep


12 Feb

Slept OK. Aimee was up at night she was sick fever cough.
I guess could not sleep anymore got up with faye 7:15 went for ride. Took Faye for walk.
Had banana had a bit of Choline and ribs felt fadey at 12 noon
Kinda of out of it mabey less than yesterday. Worked until 12:00 got Miriams letter went to UCLA.
Not any help. Felt down but I had some vison mixed with down tension so whatever fix my self.
Feel less fadey a 8:00

13 February, 2010

Woke up with Faye & Aimee felt down.
Had Banana went to Main St. then Toy’s are us then Mini-Golf. And then Soup Plantation.
Felt sad at times but some good body sensation clear but closer to bank blaze sun at times.
But I can talk real well so not bad expect for the sad fadey part which is a bit different today
In some ways not as bad. Took nap feel weak got head ach got Tylanol don’t feel to good.
Went to China New Years Felt a bit more functional faye fed the lions . took kids to navy park. came home cut bushes took down XMASS
lights. Chili for supper Tim Called talked for 1.5 hours. Suppose I feel weak but I can sense things better but feel edging towards down.




14 February, 2010

Got up feel crsiped. Hazed dull. Just on the edge of some real better feelings but…Shower was good to short. Took Aimee & Faye to Park
Just on the edge of some real better feelings but drift fade dulled out.
Had apple & Bannan for breakfast. Got a frapachinao Moco at starbucks with kids. Felt frazzed. But some crisp sharp dull reality like
yesterday. Took Aimee to Chucky cheeses. Felt flusted and trying to manage the small new senses mixed wil dull unknowing. Lots of
noise played games with travis & Aimee talked and did things but could feel overwhellemed. Took Aimee to Toyota Jolly Jumpers Hot
and brain fade coming. Got out when to Polar Bears got yogurt. Came home was very tiered but jerked into things. Took Faye for walk
saw dave he confirmed wall and driveway OK 1500.00 talke to arron an Kady for awhile sun is way to blazy need to change that, had
chicken pesto Cus Cus carrots &Arasparagus for dinner. Note Had Baking Soda, Garlic Today. Less water today had crème bulie and
icecream lots of ice cream today. About 5:50 in the morn can’t sleep feel pissed must be the sugar.


15 Feb Garlic Today Baking Soda

Got up pissy. Then went to Home depot. Feel brain dead. Had apple for breakfast. Can’t sit still but weak. Took faye to local mall
for walk. Went to stone store got stones saw roberto on driveway functioning but getting brain flustered. Took Aimee to round table for
pizzia. To much Pizzia
Had some more baking soda seem to poop better. Sun an sky way to bright way to hot. Went swimming weak flustered zero zip.
Went to beach a bit cooler feel a bit better. Then to Steves property
Light seemed better did better up there . Came home had In & Out Burger watched AFV. Crashed at 9:00
Slept better lots more dreams REM no pissy punchy. 5:30 AM drank less water.

16 February, 2010 baking soada

Not pissy in the morn but out ok it taking it easy some times a slight feel OK some times off to sad ooky Made lots of apointments.
Ate greek lamb at lunch hummus. Back at work did some more animation ajustments feel pretty weak mixed with more natural
sensations. Feel weak on short walks.
Hard to focus. Then a bit of understanding. Came home did not think I could take kids out but did OK at park and mall still feel like
fading. Had chicken and Cu Cus for dinner then gave faye bath I faded felt body fairly warmly well laying down lots of REM dreams
sleep until 5:30 8 ½ hours. Feel weak and tiered at 6:00 am doing this had some more baking soada
17 February, 2010

Got up tiered weak but then took faye for long walk did game around pool with chalk some energy.
Could sense shower area. Then went punchy went to work felt punch phased out hard to work
Came home feelphased out not calm but could see better but fadey had moregot to get ridof the fadey. Came home at night could
function in some areas better had turkey sandwich and bit of L-theaimene pickles



18 had some good body sensations at night could see hand for a min. then lost it felt weak and sad in the morning. Was a bit sick.
   Took a L-thiene full . Some real sense of vision space good but it faded. Took a ¼ bit of SAME at 12 went to property not sure
   SAME may have made me less focused. Had Toe food for dinner. Did some scanning took 1 more L-Thiene at 4:0 mabey I feel
   better? A bit getting diarea
   Also had some alpadipdopollas pill. Racing song at 3:00 the morning take some camaile tea now.
   Took two tylinols
19
20 Feb Up disoriented can’t wake up had green tea felt better could play had L-Thienine 9:30 feel more out of it. Had Mcgriddels for
   breakfast took faye for walk. Had egg burrito for breakfast felt more out of it mad at dogs took FAYE for walk felt a bit better on the
   way back but mind could melt went to harbor feight cut lawn planted seeds then got real weak majot flustered and upset. Had pizzia
   for Dinner. Did not sleep well woke 12 then 2:30 Took Kava Kava at 4:30 not sure it helped
21 Feb took two kava kava’s in the morn. Had some OK sensations plus vision. Took Faye on long walk to eat mexican. Sun was
   better than the grey clouds. Then it would fade felt
   Uncomfortable at 12. Took Aimee to bank CNV & Mall seem to want pas out less just a bit.
  Took nap from 4:30 to 5:30 woke up out of it just a bit not as must as before. Could see clouds and   bldgs better but I feel tense.

22 Feb Had bad nightmare at midnight back to bed up at 2:00 felt crummy part may be cold then some times of calm could sense face and
   body at times then lost it felt bad. Weird took a Kava at 4:30 2- Tylanol may have been to much felt zone out in morning had to take
   a ride. Felt a bit better later on the zoned out again no sun. Took Drie at 4:30 sun out got wasabie nuts at trader Joes. Reality break thu
   on drive. Then went to Naces. To get Aimee felt sensation. Got home was sick faded fast had chicken & noodels for super had to crash
   from f till 1 am had weak sensations at 2:30 then had cookies and Ice cream it faded after that
   .
23 Whimpered in the morn had fever at night but some sensations and body feeling. Sleptd until 8:30
24 As the morning went on I had some true normal body senastions it felt releaiing but I knew it could fade. Took care of doctor
   stuffat santini. Started taking colestrol power. Got weaker more fadey Came home took kids to library very brain numb but I
   could wake up my brain and feel real sensations.. Got sinus head ach hard to sleep took tylenaol 2 tomato soap & peppers
   apple cider viniger at 3:00 am.

25 Feb.

Felt crappy in the morn did not sleep well came how from work at 11:30 had lots of advil & tylinol slept for two hours at lunch.
Took kids to play center mcdees. Crashed from 7 to 11. Got up did turbosquid for 3.3 hours seemed like They way I use to fee.
Still have head ach took more powder



26Feb   Powder
Did sleep differnt now no whinning. Dull world with sun. Took a lot of powder yesterday felt
Detacthed. More energy stayed up till 12 mudnight.

Feb,    Powder
26

Had lots of powder today weak but more comcetration. When to Pirate beach             with kids could really sense things big
time.Did merry go round Had a Diet Coke Faded when I came home
Worked untill 11

27 February, 2010

Woke up weak. Had apple took short Detox bath. I was real detached today jittery weak. May be to much of that cleanse powder.
Saw santini got precription to imunne repair pill. Took 5mg today.
28 Jan,

Got up took Faye for a walk. Felt sensation then my Ear really Really hurt. Took several Benicars today don’t feel bad because of
it. No Powder Avoid Vit D. Weak no connection took ride at 4:30
Could see reality of hills and gras and distance. But still weak. Took shower helped ear ach.
Had turkey sandwich

29 Feb Got up weak took faye for long ride. Took 1 Benicar took Faye for walk to Vons.
Came home took amy to drop off cookies. Lost it had to lay down weak whimpering crying head ache. Ears clogged Stayed in and
out ofbe till7Had Pollo Locco for Dinner. Could sense things weakly between weakness d


1 Mar

Woke up weak went to work went to clinic got amoaxicilian took that and 4 beacars.
In weak ways I had some normal sensations. Came home took kids to Mcdees got weak
Crashed. Took amoxicilain & 1 beacar. Lots of sleep and dreams some warm body sensations
Mixed with pain. Some head clearing in the morning not bad. But conky

2 March, 2010

Had some better body sensations and vison during sleep mixed with times of pain.
Felt dizzed and wonked at work but worked and could do stuff at times.
Came home at 4 got week for 45 mins then to kids out got more energey

Then crashed at 8:30 got up at 10:30 to talk lymeswith helen. Not sure if Benicar or The antibiotic made me more sleepy yesterday,
could see distances better today
Took 1 Antibiotic and to Benicars at 10:30 Had a bit of Soy and Cookies

3 Mar

Went to would felt dizzy did work. Went to see cover my but doctor that said your body can ride Lymes by itself and that it does not
cause Nuero Logicail disorders. He was defensive from the start even before I told him my problems. I felt phased out with some clear
sense of shapes butwobbley. Did work came home. Talke to other Lymes folks. Had Pocco Locco. Tookaimee & faye to Mall. Had fish
for Dinner. Another Amoxacilian and then sleept a lot no whining in the morn but dull.

4 Mar

Went to would work. Saw Lyms Doctoer in Thousand Oaks, Got Iodine Vits and new prescription for
Antibiotic. Took full dose of antibiotics.

5 Mar

Got up feel brain jammed uncomfortable mixed with mipic abbility to see dim. Worked
at Aimees school took Faye to College took 1 L-Theaine. Felt a bit better after that took amoxicillain did not see to affect me that much feel
depresed

6 March, 2010
Sleep was not good at the end whinching few seconds of some peace in the morn. Took a L_theanie at Went for drive can see periferal
better but it it Dim. 4:30 Took a bit of SAME at 9:00 Took Domoxaccilain
Don’t know what it is today took kids to toys are then pizzia got bad head ach out of it.
Too much anti-biotics? To Much Iodine? Head hurts weak down Took the new anti-biotic.
FELT a Bit better Later


7 March, 2010

Crashed from 9 till 1:30 hard time sleeping after that whimper crying angery frustrated feel nothing
Depressed. Took Hymalainn Sea Salt and galic want to get teasal. Went to work feel down.
Came home feel bit better went for hike thart was a bit better then got some stuff at Lassens’ ate.
Played with Aimee had chicken stew for dinner. Did music video. Had more salt enyems and grape seed extract. Up till 1 am no real
whimpering. Wathched some TV took ½ garlic


8 March
Sleep could send some distance and some body sensation and the room but weak took shower
Could see shampoo bottles for a bit. Took some grape seed extract stomach enyemes garlic.
Got to work. Felt nervous fadey hard to focus on surrondings. Went to see M.S. doc could sense depth and plants but would fade
dropped off records. Ate Poco Loco back at work felt fadey hyper
To Much Salt? Came home went to bank and Disney store had pork for dinner felt I was dimming out
But not to tiered just fade out. Crashed for 9 till 2. Got up had some palpatations was this Salt and Vit C.
Took asprin    Garlic Benicar.        Check blood presure 3:00 am doing this. More wonked upset then small rest.


9 March Had a bit of grape seed extract and garlic

Got up went to work early for dog and pony show did it. Went home 10:00 to work on concrete
Had boutes of energy then dive off. Had Bobbies and ice cream for lunch . Bit more focus than yesterday Drove did a bit more
work dropped of stone at property a bit more real awakenings took a ½ amaxacillian at 3:00 was ok till about 4:30 less aware had
greek for dinner crashed from 8:30 till 3:00
Felt scattered unaware but some cameback not as whimppery as yesterday not angery at 4:00 am
Some better 3D vision real. Did get upset later Had a bit of grape seed extract and garlic in the morn NAN PASSED AWAY
TODAY

10 March Garlic of Soy Garli

Went to work out of it but some focus not as much as yesterday felt better in the evening getting cement seems like that activity
made me feel more normal NIGHT SHOWER REALLY ALLMOST FELT NORMAL Had lots of Soy Garlic Sleep had some good
warmth and even comfort.
Got a bit wonky in the morn but slept

11 March two days? COQ10 Had 3 Garlics
At Work can function fady and worried blank energy no depth went to Harrys can talk and do
But not fun. At at Tracus vision but want the crisp fresh. Had 3 Garlics Vit D in the Morn
Had a lot of cepicol
Did work some vison of first days at mugu tense better moving fade a bit at home
Some fear and sad then some energy talked to Helen Jumpy just a bit had a Vit C and 7 drops of grape seed extract. I am a bit sick.
Sleep was not good. Weird sense tense time rushes no peace.
Had some sleepy time tea 6 am took a COQ10 Did some work feel edgey weakish came home at 1:00
Feel peacfull numb took baking soda one more COQ10 that was OK for me feel I had some energy
Went to mall with kids could bittly see and feel true ways. Cam home had pork & Cus Cus for dinner took 1 more garlic. Not sure
it I should take a bit of SAME. Ears are throbbing

12 March COQ10 garlic, Vit D HTTP Travocor

Got up no whimmpering lots of sleep cleaned up a bit took a COQ10 took kids to st patty parade
Trip over gave me some positive sense that I could see & function better again. Dizzy and dropp off at the parade had to walk bu
different sense. Took kids to Beach played then to view on top. Had some hard real vision but no time space understanding hazy
out. Went to Soap Platasion hard to funtion. Came home head ach took 5 advil rest feel down scattery took anather garlic, ears
are throbby gave kids bath read to aimee, Night ride yes took Vit D at 9:40 Woke at 1:00 hurts to pee.Had Cranberry Juice could
not sleep had TravaCor with HTTP. Don’t feel better at 11:00
Hot flustered unfocused. CoQ10 can make you resless and insomnia

13 March 1.5 garlic

Woke up real pissed pound floor Took a garlic at 2:00 bit calmer later went to Home Depot with Kids got stuff to make aimess RV
felt weak with some possible move to better. Got harder to talk later there is change but. Took charcoal GaveKids bath wathched
AFV crashed for 2 hours weak waiting for change. Took ½ galric. Had Hot Soup


14 March Bits of Ginko and Green tea charcoal Garlic 2
Did sleep no whimper weak. Could see back yard fuller but weak helped Aimee paint RV
At work weak mixed with ability edging on scatter pain fade. Took a charcoal had pork wrap for lunch plated pool better when
resting Did a bunch of work 7 hours. Came home dip fade. Took small
Bits of Ginko and Green tea. Fade after dinner had to walk. Fadey but hard to sleep irritated bit.
Had a alhadophilus Bit of Garlic &V it C eggs toast hard to sleep was it the tea of Ginsing?




15 March Colestirin Pack Alovar a Jucie 3 times

Sleep untill 7:30 feel sad frustrsated Had Colestirin Pack out of it hard to focus some sharpe light but went ot work feel sad agitated
Lossed connections. Had meeting with marcus & Ledin. Came home noon. Short times no pain But feel mostly unable to relax.
Trying to get composer back.
Did some work talked to Sami. Came home feel real weak took a walk with Faye.
Alovar a Jucie 3 time today Felt better in the evening allmost relaxed. Thing about taking grape seed extract later.

16 March Had L-Theiain 3 OZ Alovar a Jucie beer

Woke up had Alovar a Jucie said I felt better in morning then got phased out at work
Went to propertry some things seemed more normal on the drive up weak planting trees in pain at end did more work till 5 started
to get phased came home week not as weak a yesterday Had L-Theiain But weak went to Hawaii reasturant Faye was Fun fade off
came home took a bit more Alovar a Jucie crashed at 9:00 till 6:00 ajitagete a bit in bed but slept irratable had to walk.


17 Mar Stomac Stuff Vit D

Went to work said I felt a bit OK in morn lost it at work felt very uncomfortable came home feel stresses Anxious like Saw Miguel
said low vit D low Iodine take stomach alphadipodopolas.
Drop off Geo stuff at scotts. Felt a bit better then got home took more alphadipodopolas. Vit D enzeyms
Felt a bit better but head wants to fall of head. Some true sensations if I try. Up till 1:5 working on model

18 Mar Stomac Stuff Vit D

Bady felt acky in morn dragged out of bed took kids to play MCDEES’s drained. Body & mid could fade in for a moment the poof taking
lots of Alpdopolus and Enymes eating right feel like I could come out of this and go bye bye at the same time had lots of enzemes and
adipolopoals took 5 drops grape seed extract at 3:00 took faye to Kmart to bottles in put new tires on Harrys car had chineese chiken for
lunch and super
Some stacl blank hazy vision some thing clear but hard small bit of SAME at 9:00


20 Mar Stomac Stuff small grape seed colon cleanse Phscilum Husk

Felt crappy felt down. Week legs drifty Went to Nan’s wake at Harry’s made it thru
Crashed at home till 8:00 did sleep week could see bed sheets week.

21 March 1 VIT D Stomac Stuff small amount grape seed 1 GARLIC more colon cleanse Phscilum Husk

 and sad in morn took kids to Pirate beach some connections
Then bad face. Had Sushi for Breakfast came home 1:30 took 1 hour nap more stomach stuff
Took one garlic then did work on side of new drive felt week sad no ability. Then took kids & dogs for walked talked to KADY for a bit.
Feel smal bits but then dead went to whole foods had steak & salad
Grape rolls can talk but feel dead also came home clean garage Crashed feel woke at 12:00 feel dead no life blank no energy hard to
sleep frustrated took drive GARLIC SEEMS to AGGITATE ME
Ears not ringing as much feel acky 1 Wand Den Wen in Morn

22 Mar 1 Alphadipolas 2 enzemes bit of Detox. Bit of Glutithione Bit of Alovra Juice

Woke up pretty dead no whimmper lots of sleep took aimee to school
Ate salad beef banana. Weak a lot with some crust sensation. Worked untill 11:50
Bit of swollen throat. Took 1 Vit C

23 Mar feel stiff and depress in the morn drank a glass of phliscium husk
went to work had ½ green vit in at 10 am went to propert got keys watered plants went to Steves house.
Ate Shrimp at Neptunes some awake energey mix with fade of some energetic forms of relaxing if that makes sense got bite by tick.
Did work jogged about a mile went home had Had an aldipodopolas and ¼ Green Vit then breif bigs of body energy And sense of
space went to mall had a bit of Sorbert then I dropped off. and vision then off the cliff this is different but.far from cure. Had an
aldipodopolas then Had Chicken and carrots for dinner. Then got a bit irratible and had to crash felt sad then got up and went to
trader joes got alomd milk had a bowl or two had


24 Mar Charcoal, felt calm with jittery? Took 2 Enzemes 1 alphodopolas bit of omega 3

Got up week zombie, Went to work felt nervous felt a bit better later could work but numb. Saw Ear Doc Came home numb but
could talk and do stuff better than yesterday played with aimme worked on computer took 1 alphodopolas bit of omega 3 had stake
veggies and potatoes for dinner played with aimee work on computer.

25 March Had Charcoal at 10:00 felt worse later.

Sad in the morn blank felt I had more energy. Had two bananas that and 1 Vit D that seemed OK Took a Charcoal does that make
me more irratble blank. Had Nuts does that make me more blank?
Feel angery
Had two bananas that and 1 Vit D that seemed OK
Had Charcoal at 10:00 felt worse later.

Came home had enzyme seemed OK more energy then had rice pastsa and small bananna got real tired had to crash. Did I crash

Had Small bit of Adiphlas at 12:30 feel sleep mixe dwith mumbeling feel tense. Acid in stomach?
At 4:00 am I had some colon cleanse. Took Magnesuim Calcuim Tab at 6:00 am feel tense
Should I take Enzyem at Night? Probiotics and Enyems can cause herxing?

Could I be alergic to Nut 7 Eggs?


26 March 1 Vit D ½ Probiotics

Less tense today but weak. No energy. Feel different but weak.
Can feel my body more and senses of reality but weak. Crashed from 8:30 till 12:30 took a drive felt some sensations

27 March Banana, Turkey sandwich on rice bread with avacoda & lemon water decaf Honey Coffee

Slept a lot very numb irratable. Mind is blank. Went to Old World Park crisp real old world views
But still not fun functioned had chili came home crisped but functioned. Had two Avacodo Turkey Sandwiches some Olives. Felt
some good energy before aimee went to bed playing Rumican dropped off publisehed SAT Collection took Detox bath. Had some
colon Husk 2 drops grape seed extract.




28 Mar    ½ SAME, 2-Ltheilines

Feel OH so Donked wigged out (Too much Turkey?, Husk Grape Seeds?) out of it do not feel good.
Took a SAME at 9:30. Don’t think I felt any better felt bad at 1:00 took a dead nap out of it.
Took 2-Ltheilines in the afternoon. Took kids to beach seem to feel better. Had Millet and fish for dinner. Had some salamie goats
cheese and rice cakes later. Watched a bit of tv with Helen, Some senses but weak

30 March, 2010

Slept less whining but blank took an L-thienine at 4:00 am seemed to help.
Took kids to local mall before work. Had two bananas. That seems OK Salad for Lunch took
1 L-thieanine at 2:00 sun is very bright, Feel so teired after 2:00. Got back to work feel tiered.
Ate at Baja at 5:30 tiered. Took kids to park some clouds looked good. Eye hard to focus hard to read. Had chicken beans and
some cheese thing for super. Feel weak hard to focus no zip. Crashed 9 till 2 woke up flustered went to CVN blood pressure good.
Took 1 more L-thienine at 2:45
31 March

Not sure eggs are good for me not sure L-Thethinine may not be good for me
L-thienine feel down had to have hope calm views of space and light this is OK but My brain feels donked hope it passes
Went to work early had eggs pork and fruit for breakfast. Came home stayed with Faye. Feel lifless some shades of light
Had ½ Iron tab bit better energy don’t take to much Iron had celery. Had Chicken at 9:30 Salami a 11:30 went to walmart.
Some energy




1 April – 3 April Log Cabin Vitiman-D and Some Probiotis,

Went to work felt nervous took Vitiman D drove to Log Cabin function but wake up blurry very bank
Vitiman D may make me to Tieried Probiocs may may me nervous.
After Bananas I seem to have more focus. Felt nervous phased out but on the On the drive back I at times feel
On the verged of real feeling and really depressed. Take it Easy Jim

3 April Bananas HTP-5

Woke up depressed hit my head once. Down Down. Nervous then later went to Pirate Beach slowly felt better
Took boat trip went to Ventura Park then Stage Coach to Eat. Feel more down in grey clouds. Did some face book had
Several bowls of rice milk & Cereal feel very numb but sensitive to feelings not showning any axiety but feel frale.

4 April

Had ½ HTP 5 last night I did sleep At the end of my sleep I felt crappy bad was very nervous in the morn
Saw Marcus. Had Banana for breakfast salad for Lunch felt better after lunch. Just a bit on the edge.
Took a hike worked out. OH so light sensation and nervous. Did work want to run away. Came home feel
Edged axiety and down but went to store with kids had chicken and rice for dinner. Took small bit HTP
Took nap after dinner woke Up 1.5 hours later mumbleing lost HTP can make me Punchy it seems
Had to sleep if feels a 12:49 am

5 April L-thienine ¾ Bit of alovara Juice at 10:00

Felt aggitage sad moan face came home for lunch thru day had L-thienine ¾ feel like loossing it at Lunch
Worked on Flower Bed after work Had Chili for Dinner Had Bit of Alovra Juice at 9:00 could feel body a bit better with aimee but
Punchy week.

6 April.

Just feel lossed like body want to heal but sad punchy in the morning head is like but no brain Juice can’t control Ii
Have a bit of a stomach ach at noon took Colistirine at noon. Went back to work. Saw glimpses of hard vision
But weak took Aimee for Night ride crashed at 9:00 did sleep but woke up can’t think feel aggitiated

8 April.

Just feel lossed like body want to heal but sad punchy in the morning head is like but no brain Juice can’t control Ii
Have a bit of Colistirine in morn saw westlake doc feel sad sad down weak took garlic at 12:30. Went back to work fee out of it but
a bit better took an Iodine then ½ green vit later a small bit of Collodial Silver up at 11 doing turbosquid. Not so bad but..
Take domoxacillinan tomorrow


9 April. Doxycicline, Iodine, Full vitiamn Silver Colloid

Did work felt weak took Doxy at 12. Felt weaker later went home could see things better but weak.
Sleep in the end was unhappy..

10 April Doxycicline, Iodine, Full vitiamn Silver Colloid Grape leaf
Felt so unahppy jumpy like death cleaned garage made selfs took Iodine in morn. Took Doxy and grape leaf at 12:30
Seem to feel better later. More energy more focus but still depressed, But I could work
11 April 9:00 am teaspoon o Silver Colloid , 1 Multvitm 1/2 Iodine Doxycycline


seem to have less pain in the early morn but I had big pain laying rocks. Took 1 Vit at 9:00 ate at bobbies had tritip
corn tortials and beans. Going to zoo. Took Grape seed extract before Zoo took Doxyclycine with Camamile tea
on trip up. Painful at the zoom like down aggitated with some vision but could not enjoy it Herxing?
Came home pina out of it really not happy more allerted but aggitiated big frustrated not happy.
Had a turkey sandwich not sure what to do next.


12 April Took Only Silver Colloid and Doxy

Woke up like hell running around garage. Felt better at lunch took faye to greek.
Had DoxyClycline at 3:00 had hot 20 min shower. Felt more scatter brained afterwards HadPasta for Dinner stayed up till
midnight doing turbosquid. Take Doxy at night it makes me tiered

13 April (2) Vit Ds 2 B6’s 92) Chlorellas ¾ teaspoon Silver

Sleep was deep but woke up in a hazy depressed world. Not fun is this the Doxy. Saw doc stop taking Doxy
Only Silver. Feel down no memory just a thin thin edge of normal depressed


14 April (2) Vit Ds 2 B6’s 9 (2) Chlorellas 2 teaspoons Silver ¾ Iodine

Some comfort sleep in the morn. But still can’t remember went to work some times of vegas vision.
Took 2 Chlorellaa and I Vit B6 at 3:30 took kids out Home Buffet.
Took Had about a ¾ teaspoon of silver before bed can’t sleep had a vit D at 1 am had a gaba at 3:00 am
Face feels prickely had a headache took 2 advil at 3:20 can’t sleep.at 4:30 took 2 more gaba’s
Kind of sleep with out pain from 6:3 to 7:30. Feel numb in th emorn

15 April

Got u numb took a vit B6 and droper of Silver. Small ¼ Nip of SAME at 10:00
Feel sakey and depressed at work did stuff saw steves property took a full teaspoon of Silver at 4:15 see how I feel.
9:00 I was feeling zombied but don’t’ feel that as much now


16 April Slpet better

Got up could sense body not as fadey went to mall pretty good at mall took bits of silver took a bit more silver at 11
Did play center at aimee school today Took ½ teaspoon silver at 2:00 feel a bit scatter brained at 2:00 did lots of works for
Dee felt more scatter brained whinney had a pork chunk later had more silver drops at dinner 2 hard to think feel upset at night
brain is numb
Can’t feel like sleep took L-Theaine at 12 midnight also had a spoonfull of glutitione


17 April SAME 1.5 B6 iodine Isinotal bit

Feel down depressed everything looks grey miserable feel punchy angery to much herxing. Took 1 vit B6 at 10
½ iodine at 10. Took a bit if Isinotoal at 10:30 Took ¼ SAME at 11 took some more SAME at 1:30 washed car
feel lifless sky is haze dark sureal had a banana 1 SAME at 5


18 Slept 3 Drops Silve 1 SAME B6

got up ran into wall cryed in garage mind blank took a SAME full at 10 feel more alert. 1.5 to 3 hours later
crying want to die. Took Vit B6 at 4 Found wallet went out to eat felt better went to book store
came home at 8 had big pork chunck 3 drops of silver
19 April 1 dropper full of silver

Slept not whining woke up conffused managing took a small bit if Chlorrela had vit D at 3 am

Went to work hard to feel surrondings focus hard then went to traders some senses of pleasure
Then fade back took a few drops of Silver 1 VB6 and few drops of extract at Lunch hade corn and lamb at Lunch
Hard to sit at desk. Took a few drops of silver. Had a NIT of SAME at 2 could see shapes yes briefly but I would fade out.

May be hard to sleep weird.

20 April

Felt disturbed in the morn poor end sleep Took Nothing today felt a bit better after lunch with Rich did work
Had Sauna today. Felt better taking kids to Library story time has Baja Salad. Will take a few drops of Silver now 3.
Went to Bedd will better body sensations. Woke up after deep sleep with better sensations. Not Perfect but better,
New the way it should be,

21 April few drops of silver 1 wormroot


Things seemed Different more Normal had eggs for breakfast few drops of silver took ¼ Green vit at 10am
Feels some older sensations but fadey came home felt weak then better on trip to Nuro Quatum Doc
Seemed Like Voodo. Got some expensive WormWood feel static depressed when I got home took 1 wormroot
Then went with aimme for Pajama party then night ride then Faye Walk and Night Ride tiered now.

Will take a drop or two of silver

22 April

Woke up at 3:00 not sleeping well took 2 Valjean Roots no goo took ½ adivan not much help either
Life is dismal. Took a chlorella in the morning. Feel depressed numb all day did work signed up at YMCA
Had soup for Dinner had 5 droppers full of Silver. Seemed to sleep OK. A few dreams weird

23 April also 2 benadrils and acid blocker thing1 teaspoon Silver + 1 droper at 10

Got up 5:30 fine enough sleep took 1 teaspoon Silver at 5:30 then treid to sleep felt a bit weird
Took niacin a 8:00 had bad reaction to it went to ER. Went to took aimee to school emailed scott and wally went to work
Did stuff had more energy but not much connection. Came home saw aimee at Curcus. Did stuff open house trevor talke seem
normal at times joked then crash bam did work for dee crash bam back up seem kinda of normal took a dropper full of silver
At 10 1 bowl of cereal.


24 April

Took A Thataline at 5:30 Woke up down feel shity cried like a baby to mom want to die angery at hell at the dogs no mind.
To a Vitiman D the some Isonitol then a vit B6 then some Rhodiola brain is in a hole. Herixing????
Depressed at 8 pm took a TRAVACOR 4 am Took another TRAVACOR at 9 am took kids to park and soup plantation
Put green carpet on pool took another TRAVACOR and 2 drops silver at 5 barbequed Outside


25 April

Took a bit of Iodine in Morn Not a good day crying at lunch felt better in the eveining took 1 TRAVACOR today 1 bigg dropper of
silver at Night did a bunch of work today took ½ melatoine stops the brain acid

26 April

Sleeped still wacky some senses what? Took Zinc had apple saw doc felt more jittery out of it after Dot Took 5 Vitiman Ds a 12
noon took two teaspoon of Isonitol salad came home feel senses but blank took kids to park senses of light then blank had fish
Had massage relaxing felt some numb took bath had 1 dropper silver chicken bit of Melatonine.
27 April

Seemed to sleep OK outside view seemed clear smooth for a bit took 3 D3’s today and some Isonitol in the Morning
I was crying at noon was it the D3 Herxing? Mabey or mabey the Isinotol or both.
Took some Selinuim after work feel like I am push functioning. Took some silver at 8:15 At 9:30 I am irratable
Walked helped.

28 April

Seemed to feel less anxiety today than yesterday feel some better sensations but still can fade if I get riled up
Took ½ Selimun at 12 noon had breif times where I said I could function like this if it stayed but I had an alca seltzer and I went
Loopy out. Went to Mall with Kids loopy out came home loopy out. Took Two Droppers of Silver Crashed loopy at midnight.
Don’t like it.

29 April

Did not sleep much took a 5 mg Lexapro at 2 am then body would not sleep then took 50MG of Seriqual at 5:30
Felt slpaced out and loop and did not like the night want to go to hospital and croak. Took 5 more MGS os Luxapro at 11:30
Started to feel like I could survive at about 2:30 took aimee to gym got chicken came home played with kids
Took nap it was easier. Jumpy and irratble took kids for night ride. Could feel hard winds. Sleep from 10 to 4
Woke up with these scatter light sensation seem allmost nice execpt for scattered took another Lexapro That seemed to fade


1 May took 2 Tea spoons of Silver

Woke up scattery can’t think. Settled down took kids to local mall had coffee felt some better feelings.
Came home had olive leaf went to Santa Barbra Ate ate Beach felt disconnected blank got new shorts could sense some things
During walk but would fade out could see rivers & trees better but would fade. Came home was taking well like a trance.

Had more Olive Leaf Extract I guess that can Herx you I did not sleep well up from 1:30 fell like I am in a weird world.
So many random thoughts trying to fall asleep Think about the Hospital. Took- L-Theatailin melatonine Magnesium.
I am up am feel down down until about 3 or 4 took kids to frys then felt a bit better

3 May, 10

Did sleep could sense some things but out probally Herxing from Silver took 1 iodine could have been that to
Got riled up took hike. Brain want to return. Came home tiered low brain power still things seem more normal.
Had beets for dinner. Will eat eggs & hotdogs now


4 April

Took first drop of qiuntense mabey felt a bit better than yesterday some redisorb

5 April nervous jumpy

Took another drop of Quintesense and some redisorb felt very nervous jumpy jumpy felt better later Hering?
Saw UCLA doc felt a bit better on the way back still weak glum


6 April Bit of green vit 1 drop quintesesne. 1 Boswellia nervous jumpy

Sleep has less whining for random thinkin at night for times not nice. Felt body a bit better not much whining but
Dull numb. Dull numb nervous at work in a haze very sensative to sound came home .

7 April 4 4 Boswellias

Woke up scatter in the morn sleep is wakey at end it seemed at work that I could see and sense a bit better but it was dank
Bright blank went to property brain only functions when moving can’t shute down got head ache in the morning took advil
8 april Just 2 drops of Quitnesesse.
Felt hard down obsessive. Took kids to mall then took 2 drop quintessensce we went to green build expo irratbel at sounds
Brain shut down when not moving Bye Bye came back when moving better at Buddas Belly but still brain fry.

9 April ½ Garlic ½ MSM 1 drop quint

Woke up crap sleep at end wake up like I have a fever. Worls id a mess. Depressed no memories. Weak can only feel wind
Can see sun and shadw difference and some senses of the worls movement but want to croke.. Took 1/2Garlic at 11 and ½ MM at
11 felt better at day went on took aimee to mall then took kids to beach then had soup for dinner

10 Aprilb

Sleep was a bit better for what ever that’s worth. Felt like heck in the Morning want to be in hospital.
Took Minerals in the morn then took ½ selimum. Then Took a drop of quitessensce then 1 lituim at 7
Lithium may make me tiered take at bed time. Had some air like wide view sensations and vision and air sense
Felt better later. Got up at 3 am can’t sleep see some crisp then took a bit more Quintesense. Can’t fee; peace
More alert but can’t sleep.


11 April

Had 1 drop Quint and then another Lituim in morn. Got up qristal static numb. Could not sit still worked on Geneator
No sense of movement. Felt numb scared went to property could work but numb felt better when I took kids out.
Took 2 more drops of Quint at Night feel better at 10:30

12 april, 2 drops quint

Kind of hade better sleep some short good sensations went to property had banana. Did work got hard to do went Kooko
Goga being in sun for 4 hours did a lot. Felt kooked out demented went to work ate felt body sensations real
Then fade then felt better then fade. But real something had potatoes and lamb for dinner was feeling better singing then
Got irratbel should try to sleep took 2 drops quint woke up 3 am with demeneted fever. Don’t know if I can take quint
So much erased brain no sense of world can’t sleep.

13. April. To Much Sun from yesterday feel D herxing feel so le

Woke at 3 am no sleep but tired. Can’t think does the quint do this? Took selenuim Stop it for awhile. Took mag bath will had bit
of iodine in morn. Brain does not know time or space. Feel aggitated at lunch bang walls. Life is weird.

Came home took photos of car very irratabel sounds bug me. Took Hike mind wants to see but I feel bad.
Sleep until 2 am up did car posting. Won’t take Quint Then Sensations after 3:00 am


14 april

bit of b-Vit. Sleep was different dreams but just differenent sold car. Can do but brain between two worlds.
Could see beter later feel then fade off. Need to rest. Had to crash at 9:00 to weak. Sleep till 1:30
Took a nip of wan den. Brain trying it was different today.