VIEWS: 151 PAGES: 9 POSTED ON: 4/16/2011
My Wife, The Cheater (or, That's Gonna Leave A Mark) This is an amazing story (at least to me), and it is all true. Unfortunately, it makes me look like a complete idiot to have been taken advantage of in such a blatant way. Hopefully, telling it will help me deal with issues that I am having a hard time recognizing as being based remotely in reality, and maybe show someone else things to watch out for in their own relationship (not to mention the fact that I hope to embarrass my wife and her lover in the extreme, which will be very good therapy for me!) I will be adding updates as things progress, and I intend on keeping this page on my site for as long as I maintain the domain. Most of these events took place in July of 2004, so they are still very fresh on my mind as I publish this page. NOTE: The names of the innocent have been changed. The names of the guilty have not. If that stings a bit, good. My wife's name is Michelle Stoneham (her real name, since she is one of the guilty), and we were married on January 17th, 1998. This was the second marriage for both of us, and we each brought children from those previous marriages into this one: my 2 children and Michelle's beautiful daughter Sarah (not her real name). Sarah turned 12 the month after the wedding, but she was mature beyond her years even then. Now she is 18, having just graduated from High School, and she has turned into a remarkable woman (unlike her mother). Michelle has always been very attractive. See for yourself. This past year, she became the coordinator of the Beaumont Drillers' cheerleader/dance team (notice that she took off her wedding ring for the above picture, which was taken as part of a photo shoot for the Driller Girls). The Drillers is our local franchise of the National Indoor Football League. She was very excited about that, since she always wanted to be a cheerleader and she finally got her chance. After every home game, the players and cheerleaders would go to a local club to "mingle" with advertisers and sponsors, as I'm sure is common around the league. But at some point, Michelle started staying out until 2:00AM or 3:00AM or later. I didn't think much of it at the time, since she was the "boss" and was supposed to hang around, and she always had some explanation, like a sponsor kept talking forever or something like that. How little I knew. One day, about the middle of June of this year, I was pulling her car out of the garage to get the lawn mower out, and I noticed the voice-mail light blinking on her cell phone. Before this, we would always check each other's voice-mail. If you've got nothing to hide there is no reason to be upset about it, and honestly I thought it may have been one of her employees at The Clubhouse, which is the daycare center she owns in Nederland. So I checked it. It was a man's voice, a voice that sounded vaguely familiar, and he said "I just want you to know, I will never look at my desk the same way again." And I will never forget those words as long as I live. It felt like I had been punched in the stomach. I rushed inside and made her listen to it, demanding to know who it was. She said, "I don't know who that is. I get wrong numbers all the time." And... I believed her. After all, she is my wife, I loved her dearly, and I wanted to believe her. That was the last time there was ever any voice- mail on her phone that I knew about. A couple of weeks later, on the weekend of July 2nd, 2004, my parents came down to visit from Fort Worth. On that Friday night, my dad, my son, Sarah's boyfriend Bobby (not his real name), and I went to an Astro's game in Houston, which is about an hour and a half away. We told the girls we might not be back until 12:30AM or 1:00AM depending on how long the game lasted. My mom offered to take all the girls out to eat, but Michelle said she wasn't feeling well and was just going home to take a bath and go to bed. The ballgame was over about 9:30PM, which was much earlier than I thought it would be, so I tried calling Michelle when we got to the car. She didn't answer at home and her cell phone was turned off. We got back in town about 11:00PM and I dropped my dad off at the hotel and went home. Michelle's car was gone, and her cell phone was still turned off. So much for taking a bath and going to bed! She finally got home about 12:30AM. She said she went over to the house of one of the Driller Girls and they just sat around and talked and drank some wine (like I couldn't smell it for myself). I asked her why her phone was off, because we got out of the game early and I had been trying to call. "I guess the battery must have died," she said. The next day was a Drillers game. I didn't know it at the time, but Sarah was starting to suspect her mother was seeing someone else behind my back, because she had noticed too many things Michelle was trying to hide. So at the game, Sarah found the cheerleader Michelle was supposed to have been visiting the night before, and that girl had an obvious hangover. Sarah said "So you and my mom had a lot to drink last night?" The other girl said "I wasn't with your mom last night." Then that girl went up to Bobby, Sarah's boyfriend, and said "You need to tell Michelle that if I'm supposed to be her alibi, she needs to let me know in advance!" I found this out later, but at the time I didn't know anything was wrong. The next weekend, my friend David (not his real name) and his mom came from Mississippi to visit for the weekend, and to go with us to San Antonio for a regional DCI competition/show. They spent the night at our house Friday night, and Saturday morning as we were getting ready Michelle said out of the blue that she didn't want to go. She said "I'm too tired, it's too long a drive. Why don't y'all just go without me and catch up with each other." That was very strange, since Michelle always loved going to DCI before. When we got to San Antonio went to the Riverwalk and ate, saw the DCI show, and then got back to the hotel at about 11:30PM. I called Michelle to give her the room number, but (again) her cell phone was turned off and she didn't answer at the house. I tried calling both numbers for about 30 minutes before I gave up and went to bed. The next morning, I told her I tried calling the night before but couldn't get her. She said "Oh, some of the Driller Girls wanted to go out to eat, but we got back about 12:15 or so." There was something in the tone of her voice that just didn't sound right. I couldn't stop thinking about it, and that night when we got back I decided to check something. After Michelle went to sleep, I went out to her car and got her cell phone. It was turned off, which I thought was strange. I turned it on, and went through the menus to find the call records. Every call record had been deleted: missed calls, incoming calls, outgoing calls, all of them. Later, I was able to check her call records (I'll explain how in a minute), and when I looked up the calls for July 10th and the early morning of the 11th, there were almost 20 minutes of calls to and from the same person after 2:00AM. However, at the time I didn't know about these calls. But, from that day on, whenever I could I tried to check her cell phone for the call records, and every time I looked the records had been deleted. One day during this time, I asked her a question while she was at the computer, something simple like "Honey, where's the remote?" And as she was still occupied at the computer she said "Well baby, just look around." We had been married 6 1/2 years, and not once had she ever called me "baby." This may not seem like much of anything, but let me tell you, when your spouse all of a sudden uses a brand new term for you, one that you have never heard her use before, especially when she does it in such an off-handed way while not even paying attention to what she's saying, it is something that sounds off an alarm bell in your head and makes the hair stand up on your neck. The next weekend, Michelle said she needed to go up to the daycare and clean, on both Saturday and Sunday. She was gone for several hours each day. Turns out she was on the phone quite a bit to someone, with one call lasting 76 minutes, but I didn't find this out until later. On Thursday, July 22nd, Michelle called me sometime around 1:30AM and said she was going to get her nails done. The place she mentioned is in Beaumont, which is about 20 minutes away from her daycare business, just one more strange thing for me to take in. Well, my office is in Beaumont, and it was getting close to lunch, so I said "I'm in the mood for a Schlotsky's, so why don't you call me when you're done and we can eat there, since it's just right down the block." Michelle said "Umm, I'm going to get a pedicure too, so it'll probably take an hour and a half." I said "That's okay, my next appointment isn't until 2:30PM, so we'll have plenty of time. Just call me when you are done." I didn't know it then, but as soon as she hung up with me, she made another phone call. The tone in her voice didn't sound right again, which was getting to be common, so about 12:30PM when she hadn't called back, I headed over to the nail salon. At 12:40PM, I was just around the corner and she called me. She said "I'm still not done yet." I said "Well, I'm almost there, I'll just come in and hang out with you, and if it's taking too long I'll go pick up our sandwiches and bring them there." Again, as soon as I hung up with her, she made another quick phone call. I walked in the nail salon, and she was sitting with her hands under the lights that "dry" the nails, and I sat down with a worried look on my face. I said "I am so upset I don't know what to do." She turned white as a ghost, and just looked at me not saying a word with a stunned look on her face. I said "Someone got through the fence last night and broke into the shed behind my office" (which was true). The relief flooding into her face was obvious, and she asked what had happened. When I finished telling her about the shed, she said "I'm not feeling well, I need to go to the bathroom." I bet she wasn't. From her perspective, I'm sure she felt like she had been caught and I was about to make a big scene in public. I didn't really find out what was going on until Friday night, July 23rd. That night the Driller Girls were supposed to meet and sign pictures and T-Shirts to mail to fans, but Michelle had never told me where they were meeting. "Probably just a sandwich place" is all she would say. On Wednesday, Michelle started suggesting that I go play poker in Lake Charles at the casino (only about 45 minutes away), so I would have something to do that night. More alarm bells went off, since she never wanted me going to the casino without her in the past. I got off work early, about 4:00PM, and went home to change clothes and get my casino player's card. Before I left the house, something just told me to check her outgoing email to the Driller Girls to see if she had told everyone where they were meeting. Sure enough, Michelle told everyone to meet at a place in Beaumont called The Philly Connection (a sandwich shop specializing in philly-cheesesteak sandwiches). I didn't know what to make of that, because she was acting like they hadn't decided on a place yet. At the time, it didn't even register in my mind that the Philly Connection was just down the street from the nail salon Michelle had gone to the day before. Well, I went to the casino and started playing poker, feeling very uneasy. About 7:45PM, I called and talked to Michelle. She was in Sarah's room and Sarah was fixing her hair. Bobby was there too, but I didn't know it at the time. Michelle said she was getting ready to go, and I said "Where are y'all meeting?" Michelle said "A place called Madison's." I said "Madison's? What's that?" She said "It's a new restaurant, sort of like a Bennigans." I said "Well that sounds neat, I've never eaten there. I'm up about $250.00, why don't I just cash out and I'll meet you there and get a burger or something." She said "NO! That is stupid, you'd be the only guy there. We can go together some other time." Now I am really worried. What I didn't know, is that while she was talking to me, Michelle was giving Sarah and Bobby hand signals and looks, telling them not to say anything while she was talking to me, because they knew the girls were really meeting at the Philly Connection. After about 45 minutes, I was up about $500 (I guess I was the only one at the table who realized they were playing poker) so I decided to cash out. I left the casino about 8:45PM and drove into Beaumont instead of gong straight home. I was going to just drive past the Philly Connection and just take a look for myself. When I got there, Michelle's white Mercedes was parked right in front of the Philly Connection. I don't know why I was so shocked to see it there, since I had been telling myself that something weird was going on, but there it was. It felt like ice water had been thrown into my face, and I couldn't catch my breath. I don't know how long I sat there staring at her car, but someone finally honked at me because I was in the middle of the parking lot, so I drove off. I didn't know what to do. I was just too afraid to go inside. I decided I would just confront her when she got home, so I drove home and called her on her cell phone to see if she would even answer. Since her voice-mail didn't automatically pick up, I knew her phone was on, but no one answered. I tried back every couple of minutes, and finally one of the other cheerleaders answered Michelle's phone. I said "Is Michelle there?" She said "Yeah, but she's busy doing stuff right now." I said "Wow, it's pretty loud there. Where are y'all again?" She said "Umm, I think it's called Madisons." I said "Okay, do me a favor. When we hang up, give Michelle the phone and tell her to call me as soon as she gets a chance. It's important." She said "Okay" and I hung up. After about 10 minutes I tried calling back, but this time no one answered. I tried again every couple of minutes, but still no answer. I got home a little after 10:00PM, and just kept calling her phone every 5 minutes. About midnight, I couldn't stand it any more. I got on the internet and pulled up our cell phone account on the T-Mobile we site. I had been the only one to register on the site, so my number was the one I had to log in with. I didn't know what good that would do me, but I knew our phones were on the same plan, and maybe I could find something. And earlier that week, I had called T-Mobile customer service to make sure all our phones were linked to the site so I could see our combined minutes (I had been telling Michelle for a couple of months we needed to increase our minutes because she used her phone so much). After clicking around on the site for about 10 minutes, I happened to see a button labeled "View other phones". When I clicked on it, it had all the phones listed with the charges relating to each phone, but I noticed that the phone numbers were underlined and looked like a hyper-link. So I clicked on the link for her cell phone number. The next page was similar to a bill just for that phone, and on the left-hand side were a couple of links. One of them said "Activity Details", so I clicked on that one. What I saw is now seared into my mind. Multiple calls to and from the same number, sometimes 10 calls a day to that number. I immediately thought of the night almost 2 weeks before when I had been in San Antonio and she said she got home about midnight. I scanned down to July 10th, and there staring me in the face was a call to that same number at 2:06AM and another call at 2:20AM. Added up, it was just how long it took to get home from the Philly Connection in Beaumont. Suddenly I couldn't see the monitor, and I realized I was crying. A link to the actual call records is here. In the middle of the call records, I saw a 30- minute phone call from what looked like a Port Neches number. I went to whitepages.com and did a reverse lookup, but the number came back unlisted. On a hunch, I entered the number in a google search exactly as it would be typed in a document, in quotes: "(409)721-0000" (I am not listing the actual last 4 digits here). Only one page came up. It was a page of home contact numbers that a company had on it's server but evidently didn't know it was being indexed by google. The last name of the person next to that number was Abrego (his real name, since he's one of the guilty). Of all the people I was expecting, he was the last. You see, about 3 years ago, a friend (now ex-friend) of Michelle's, Tina (not her real name) told Michelle that she was going to tell me about Michelle and Chris Abrego if Michelle didn't tell me first. So Michelle told me. I know now that she didn't tell me everything, and the things she did tell me about were only half-truths. What she told me was that she had "been with" Chris Abrego the night before our wedding. Michelle said he came over to her house and they "talked" for a while. Tina was there, which is why she knew about it. Michelle also said that they had continued to "talk" for a couple of years. She would go see him at the car dealership where he worked, and when she opened the daycare he came by to see her "once or twice" before any kids got there (it is an after-school only daycare). Michelle said that at some point, Chris Abrego made a joke to her that he was going to Las Vegas and he said "Wanna come?" She thought it was funny and told Tina about it, and somehow word got back around to Chris Abrego. According to Michelle, he called her on a speaker phone with someone else in the room, and demanded that Michelle admit he never said that. She got mad and told him never to call her again. Chris Abrego was (and is) married. He married his wife in September of 1999. The daycare opened in August of 1999. She cried and asked me to forgive her. I said I would. She swore she would never talk to him again. I cannot believe he came to my wedding and shook my hand. The number that was being called the most was a cell phone number, which cannot be looked up in a reverse listing, but when I tried it did say that the number was based in Nederland/Port Neches. Chris Abrego's address is in Port Neches, so I suspected it was him. Oh, I knew she was talking to him again, I just didn't know if she was only talking to him. For all I knew, that cell phone could be someone else in addition to him. I kept trying to call her cell phone, and finally at 12:45AM she called me. The first thing I asked was where she had been. She said "Some of the Driller Girls wanted to go to a club, so we went to Cactus Canyon for a couple of hours." I asked her why she hadn't called me back or answered her phone. She said "I didn't know you called." I told her about telling the other cheerleader to give her the phone and to tell her to call me, but Michelle said "She had my phone the whole time, and when we left to go to Cactus Canyon she put it in my trunk with my purse." I didn't even think to ask how she got into the club without her purse. Finally I couldn't keep it inside anymore. I said "Who's number is 344-0000?" (again, I am not listing the last 4 digits). She said "What?" I repeated the question a little louder. She said "I don't know, I get wrong numbers all the time." Hadn't I heard that before? Yes, as a matter of fact, I had. I said, "I'm looking at it right here. You've been calling that number every day, many times a day. It is not a wrong number." She said "I don't know what you're talking about. I'll be home in a minute," and she hung up. Of course, she immediately called that other number. I called her back. "I'm looking at Chris Abrego's home number right here in your call records, so I know you're talking to him again." She said "No I'm not! I don't know what you're talking about!" I said "Stop denying it, the records don't lie." I don't know when I started crying during the conversation, but I suddenly felt dizzy. I guess I had been hyperventilating. I know from the records that she called him 4 times during her drive home, so I guess either she or I hung up a couple of times, but I don't remember now. By the time she got home, I was sitting in the chair by our bed, shaking and crying, and she walked right past me into the bathroom without saying a word. She took off her contacts and changed clothes, then walked over to the bed and picked up a pillow and a blanket and went into the living room. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, I just couldn't believe that she wouldn't even say a word to me. I went into the bathroom and picked up the shirt she had been wearing, and I walked into the den. I held it up to my face and took in a deep breath through my nose. There was not a single hint of cigarette smoke on her shirt. I said "You did not go to Cactus Canyon. Where were you?" She said she didn't know what I was talking about. I said "I know you've been talking to Chris Abrego again. Just admit it!" She wouldn't say anything. I said "Where's your phone?" She still didn't say anything, so I went out to the garage and opened her car door. I started looking through her purse trying to find the phone, and suddenly she reached over and grabbed the purse out of my hands. I said "Give me your phone." She said "No, that is my phone, you don't need it. And I think you should leave." I said "I wasn't the one seeing someone else, why don't you leave!" She laid back down on the couch and wouldn't say anything else to me. I went into the bedroom and cried some more, trying to figure out what to do, what to say. Finally I went back into the den and knelt beside the couch. "I love you so much," I said with tears in my eyes and my voice cracking. "All you have to do is say you still love me and that you are sorry and want me to forgive you, and I will." She didn't say a word, and she pulled back from me. We heard the garage door open, and Sarah walked past the den. Michelle said, "Where have you been?" Sarah said, "I was walking Bobby out to his car. We have been here the whole time." After Sarah went upstairs, I waited and waited but Michelle wouldn't say anything. Finally, I got up and went into the bedroom. I didn't sleep all night. The hardest thing for me to take was that Michelle wouldn't even say she was sorry. I couldn't understand why. About 6:00AM I washed my face and put on some fresh clothes, but that didn't help. Michelle was sound asleep on the couch. I fixed some coffee and biscuits, and after a while she woke up. She went into the bathroom and started taking a bath, so I sat down by the bathtub and tried to talk to her. I asked her why she wouldn't even apologize, but she acted like I wasn't there. I couldn't help it, I started crying again. I said "I have to leave. I'm going up to my office, it just hurts too much to be here right now." When I got to my office, I pulled up the phone records on the internet again. This time I was able to figure out how to go back further, back to May when she first got her phone. I noticed that there was a certain other number that kept appearing, sometimes immediately followed by a call to or from that cell phone that was called so many times. When I did a reverse lookup on it, it came up as a Beaumont number but without a listing. Finally I saw a number that was only one digit off from that Beaumont number, and I realized what it was. It was a rollover number at a business. I have 3 lines at my office, and only the main number is listed. But the other numbers are only 1 digit apart. So I did a reverse lookup on that new number, and it came back as listed to the Philly Connection in Beaumont. It was starting to fit together more. I remembered that the Philly Connection had been bringing sandwiches to the daycare for lunch all summer. And I remembered that a friend of Michelle's had even helped consult with the Philly Connection when they opened. So I called this friend and said "I know this is going to be a weird question, but who's the guy at the Philly Connection that Michelle knows?" She said "Oh, you mean Chris Abrego? He and his wife own it." Then I remembered that Sarah worked there for about a week, sometime in May. I called her and said "Sarah, when you worked at the Philly Connection, did you know your mom was seeing Chris Abrego?" She said, "No, not then. But a couple of weeks ago I started suspecting. And Bobby asked me if it was okay if he told you, if you ever asked him about it. And I told him yes." I said, "Thank you Sarah, I was just trying to figure out if everyone knew but me. I love you." "I love you too," she said. That afternoon, Sarah and Bobby took me to the mall and out to eat. Afterwards, I went home to try and talk to Michelle again. "Is there anything you want to talk about?" I asked her when I got home. She was watching TV in the bedroom, and didn't even look at me when she said "No." Again I told her all she had to do was say she was sorry, and we could work through any other problems. She wouldn't say a word. So I went to the closet and got a suitcase and started packing. While I was loading the Expedition, I realized that Sarah might come home and see me loading it up, and I didn't want her to find out that way. So I called her and told her what was going on. She got home about 5 minutes later and came up to me crying. She hugged me and said "I am so sorry my mom did this to you!" She asked me if I could spend the night in one of the kid's rooms, and try to talk to Michelle again the next morning, and I agreed. But the next morning was the same thing. Michelle still wouldn't say she loved me or that she was sorry. But she did try to bring up things she was unhappy with me about, like how she felt I was never going to make any more money than I am right now, and how she never sees me doing anything better with my life. I realized then that she didn't want me to stay, so I started putting more stuff into the car. Michelle went and took another bath, and Sarah went in the bathroom to talk to her. As I walked by one time Michelle said "No one said you had to leave." I said "Are you asking me to stay?" But again she wouldn't say anything, so I kept packing. When I got in the car to drive away, I looked down at my left hand. I stopped the car and went back inside. Michelle was on the bed again watching TV. I took off my wedding ring and set it on the nightstand and said "If you ever want to give that back to me, there it is." The next day, I called Tina to ask if what Michelle had told me 3 years ago was the truth. Tina said that the night before our wedding, Chris Abrego picked up Michelle. She left with him, wearing nothing but a t-shirt and panties, and didn't come back for hours. There were a couple of other things Tina told me that Michelle had left out, but it was enough for me to know I had been lied to. 4 days later, Michelle had only called once. A daycare bus had broken down and she wanted me to call a tow truck for her. Of course that upset me a great deal, so I called her back and said "The only thing you have the right to call and ask me for is forgiveness. If you need help, call and ask Chris Abrego!" The conversation did settle down a bit, but Michelle still never asked me to come home, never said she loved me, and never asked me to forgive her. She kept trying to talk about the things she was unhappy with me about. At one point, I mentioned her going away with him the night before our wedding, and her response was "I never said I left with him." Well duh, but that's not exactly a denial, is it. In fact, it sounds exactly like someone who knows they told a lie and wonders how the other person knows what really happened. Obviously, that conversation was going nowhere, and when she eventually hung up she never called back again. In the meantime, I had accepted the fact that Michelle didn't love me anymore, as was clear by her actions and words (or lack of either). Luckily, we didn't have any children together, so any difficultly in a divorce would be over property. At some point I had moved from feeling very hurt to feeling very angry. I made a copy of the call records and mailed them to Chris Abrego's wife, Beth (not her real name). On Friday, July 30th, she called me. She was in tears, and the first thing she said was "Are our spouses having an affair?" I said "Yes" and told her everything I knew. At some point, I said something about the call records and she said, "What records?" I said "You didn't get the copies I sent in the mail?" She said "No, I've been in Austin." I said "How did you know to call me?" She said, "I got an anonymous call." She was in tears the whole conversation, and I did my best to tell her everything I could. I told her that I was going to Houston to see my kids (I couldn't bring them here yet, not with this going on), and Sarah was going with me, so Michelle was probably planning on seeing Chris Abrego. Beth said she was going to tell him that she wasn't coming back until Sunday, but she was going to drive back that afternoon and follow him. About 10:30PM we were all at our hotel in Houston, so I turned off my phone. I didn't want one of the kids answering it if it rang. The next morning when I turned on the phone, there was one message. It was Beth, completely in tears, and she said "John I need you to call me. I just saw your wife and my husband having sex." I tried calling her back, but she didn't answer the phone. I didn't hear from her again until Sunday about lunch time. She said that she saw them through the window, and that she started beating on the window. She said "I went to the front door, and was beating on the door, screaming for my husband to please come home." She said the police were called, and 3 police cars showed up, but nothing came of that because she left. The call records showed that Michelle had called 911 for 15 minutes at 10:48PM that night, from her cell phone. Beth said that when she confronted Chris Abrego about seeing them, he told her "Oh, that wasn't what you thought. Michelle was just getting a drink from my bottle." Now there's some new terminology I hadn't heard before. Beth was devastated. She had a miscarriage 7 weeks ago, during which time Chris Abrego was having an affair with Michelle, and they have 2 small children, the youngest is only 17 months old. What a complete jerk this Chris Abrego really is. Beth said she found some papers showing he had taken out several loans, in her name, without telling her, and hadn't been paying them. She said he had been telling her that the Philly Connection wasn't making any money and he might have to file for Bankruptcy. I told Beth that one day the week before, when I went home to get some of my DVDs, I remembered that we kept some cash in a drawer, and it wasn't a small amount. But when I looked, Michelle had taken all of it. I told Beth that we might have to accept that they had been planning this together for a while, even sneaking money away somehow. Sarah has said that Chris Abrego is coming to the house, my house, even with Sarah there. She said that Michelle told her that she has always been in love with Chris Abrego. But I'm thinking, if she's always been in love with him, why did she marry me? Well, all I can say is that they deserve each other. I don't know how they can trust each other though, because they are both adulterers and liars and cheats. If Michelle thinks he is her "ticket" because he is a successful business man, she's got a rude awakening around the corner. I can't wait for that...
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