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                                                                         A N D R E A R O S S W R E S T L I N G




JESSICAZELINKATRACK&FIELD



                                                                                           AN EYE ON
                                                                         NATIONALS
DEANNADELISLEVOLLEYBALL
                                                                                Renowned
                                                                                independent
                                                                                Canadian
                                                                                journalist




                                                                                Gwynne
                                                                                Dyer
                                                                                "The Climate Wars"
                                                                                March 8, MacEwan Ballroom
                                                                                Doors at 7 pm, lecture at 8 pm.
                                                                                All ages welcome. Tickets at Ticketmaster.




      Students’ Union Weekly Schedule of Events, March 5 - 10, 2007
Monday, March 5   Tuesday, March 6   Wednesday, March 7    Thursday, March 8     Friday, March 9                             Saturday, March 10


                                                                                                                             Saturday
                                                           Gwynne                                                             Hi-ball
                                                            Dyer                                                             Specials:
                                                                                                                               (4 pm to close)
                                                                        ars”
                                                          “T e Climate W
                                                            h
                                                             MacEwan Ballroo
                                                                            m                                                  $9 99 /3oz. jugs
THE UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY GAUNTLET | VOLUME 47 | ISSUE NO. 31 | MARCH 1 | 2007
                                                                                                                            contents
Gettin’ to know the new SU
news page 5


News makes its return after the week-long hiatus by getting up close and
personal with the su election winners. They are all totally stoked to represent
students next year. There are also stories about the premier, the ceo of Shell
and some students who spent their reading week volunteering. Woot.



Al Gore, infidelity and the C-Train
opinions page 11


No, it’s not a torrid tale of the former vice-president of the United States
of America getting freaky on a skeezy C-Train platform downtown with a
woman who isn’t Tipper. Instead, it’s three different stories featuring the
aforementioned topics respectively. Or is it?



Decadent and depraved stumblings
this week on the internet page 15


This week Ændrew goes gonzo and writes a goodly amount of indecipher-
able nonsense while using Stumbleupon to uncover some of the Internet’s
weirdest sites. Oh, and part two of the tech support checklist if your com-
puter’s been busted for two weeks.



Jam-packed with lies!
entertainment page 17


This week, the entertainment section contains content on one of these three
things: 1) Marsupial mating patterns, 2) Genetically engineered murder cats
3) Five-headed chickens. No, really.
                                                                                  photo to the editor
                                                                                  “A step ahead” by Josh Sandulak

Nashes!
sports page 27                                                                    “W       e can rebuild him. We have the technology. We can make
                                                                                           him better than he was. Better... stronger... faster.”
No, it’s not Rick Nash or even Steve Nash in the sports section this week,
it’s an eye-full of national coverage! Women’s volleyball hosts the nation-       Anyone can submit an original photo to the editor. Drop off your high resolution photo
als in Calgary this week while the wrestling team travels to Scratch-a-toon       along with your name, contact information and a brief description including type of
(formerly Saskatoon) for their own championships. But that’s not all, turn        camera (approximately 50 words) to room 319 MacEwan Student Centre or email
to the whopping 10-page sports section to find out the rest!                       photo@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca.
                                         editorial and letters
Facebookers unite                                                                                                                                                                                                                   March 1 2007

                                                                                                                                                                                               Editor-in-Chief: Chris Beauchamp 220-7752
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 eic@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca




F
        acebook is mightier than the         the contest for the prime poster spot                                                                                                                     News Editor: Emily Senger 220-4318
        Gauntlet, at least according the     in the halls. Each candidate created a                                                                                                                           news@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca
        results of the recent Students’      “Vote for me” group and everyone                                                                                                                         Entertainment: Kyle Francis 220-4376
Union general election.                      who had at least one “friend” in the                                                                                                                      entertainment@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca
   Each year a panel of Gauntlet             su was bombarded with requests to                                                                                                                                      Sports: Jon Roe 220-4376
editors play a part in influencing           join the groups discussing how awe-                                                                                                                                  sports@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca
the outcome of the su election by            some particular candidates are.                                                                                                                                   Opinions: Kate Foote 220-4376
conducting a controversial review               Online campaigning is great if it                                                                                                                              opinions@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca
of the hopefuls. After two solid days        raises interest in often-dull su elec-                                                                                                                        Features: Garth Paulson 220-4376
of candidate interviews, the Gauntlet        tions, which seems to be the case this                                                                                                                           features@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca
publishes a written review of each           year. Despite a nearly non-existent                                                                                                                           Photography: Chris Tait 220-4376
candidate, as well as endorsements           elections promotions committee and                                                                                                                                 photo@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca
outlining who we’re voting for and           advertising that was nothing new,                                                                                                                   Production: Ændrew Rininsland 220-4376
why. Despite our written insistence          voter turnout in the election was at                                                                                                                         aendrew@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca
that the Gauntlet should not be the          17.7 per cent this year. This number                                                                                                                          Illustrations: Danny Kirk 220-4376
only piece of information students           is still low, but it’s up one per cent                                                                                                                         Illustrations@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca
use to vote, many students are just          from last year. It’s also somewhat                                                                                                       News Assistants: Katy Anderson and Sara Hanson
too apathetic to heed the disclaimer.        refreshing to see candidates the                                                                                                                              news@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca
Admittedly, the Gauntlet review has          Gauntlet didn’t endorse getting into                                                                                                         Entertainment Assistant: Rachel Betts-Wilmott
played a large role in the outcome of        office. It means students are actually                                                                                                                         rachel@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca
past elections.                              thinking for themselves.                                                                                                                          Escapes And Pursuits: Ryan Pike 220-4376
   Usually this is the way things go,           But the unfortunate thing about                                                                                                                             eandp@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca
but not this year. This year there was a     campaigning on Facebook, or any                                                                                                                 Academic Probation: Ben Hoffman 220-4376
larger force at play—the online social       other online social utility, is that the                                                                                                                         ap@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca
utility known as Facebook. The web-          election disengages from a debate                                                                                                         Three Lines Free: Rachel Betts-Wilmott 220-4376
site was virtually unknown during            about platform points into a popu-                                                                                                                               tlfs@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca
the last election, but in the course of      larity contest based on who knows                                                                                                                  Business Manager: Evelyn Cone 220-7380
a year “saw it on Facebook…” has             the most people. Facebook cam-                                                                                                                            evelyn.cone@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca
come to punctuate snippets of con-           paign support groups aren’t based                                                                                                            Advertising Manager: John Harbidge 220-7751
versation across campus daily.               on discussion of differing platform                                                                                                                     john.harbidge@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca
   This year the Gauntlet also struck        points, but on supporting your                                                                                                                             Graphic Artist: Ken Clarke 220-7755
out on almost all of its endorsements.
Four out of six panel members
endorsed Julie Labonte for presi-
                                             “friends” or the friends of your
                                             friends. This year’s Facebook cam-
                                             paign also easily put rez kids ahead
                                                                                          Editor, the Gauntlet                                                                                                       kdclarke@ucalgary.ca

                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Network Manager: Ben Li

                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Typesetter: Joëlle Robichaud
dent. Julie Bogle won. Five out of           since they automatically have the                                                         in many more beneficial ways. If the
six panel members endorsed Teale             support of the undergraduate stu-            Digital insanity                             current proposal proceeds, it will                                                  Contributors
                                                                                                                                                                               Todd Andre • Sarelle Azuelos • Andrew Barbero • Cam
Phelps Bondaroff for vice-president          dents living on campus. All in all, this                                                  truly be a sad day for the history of   Cotton-O’Brien • Chris Courtice • Kevin De Vlaming
external. Mike Selnes won. We                leaves qualified candidates who may              Editor, the Gauntlet,                     the university.                         Jessica Fu • Jon Gregg • Amanda Hu • Ryan Link • Kristina
                                                                                                                                                                               Lord • Kenzie Love • Christian Louden • Geoff MacIntosh
unanimously endorsed Kyle Olsen              not have as many online “friends”               [Re: “Demolition likely for                                       Kevin Wiens     Jordyn Marcellus • John McDonald • Derek Neumeier
for vp operations and finance. Fraser         out of luck.                                 msc docks,” Andrew Barbero,                                                          Dan Pagan • Stewart Pallard • Alex Ramadan • Kaveh
Stuart eked him out by 16 votes.                Though next year’s su will likely         Feb. 15, 2007.]                              Changing times?                         Shojaei • Alyzée Sibtain • Joleen Toner • Jeff Townsend
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Darren Young
   While students may be too busy or         do an adequate job, students may                After reading the latest news on the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Golden Spatula
just too apathetic to attend a forum,        have missed out on the most suit-            digital library developments, I am at           Editor, the Gauntlet,                 Andrew Barbero and Fiona McLay, for saving Kate’s ass
clicking a button to join the “Vote          able candidate by voting for their           a complete loss for words. When an              Living in Toronto in 1960, I          by heeding her desperate Monday night call for content
Julie for President” online group            Facebook friends rather than for             estimated $50 million dollars needs to       enrolled in chemical engineering in         this week. It’s volunteers like you that keep us sane.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Well, moderately so.
takes almost no effort at all. Besides, if   who is most qualified to represent            be spent in order to relocate loading        the faculty of applied science, as it
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Furor Arma Ministrat
all of your friends are doing it…            their interests.                             docks, things have gone too far. It          was called back then at U of T.                                Room 319, MacEwan Students’ Centre
   For Facebookers, the online                                          Emily Senger      was a bit of an understatement when             I am almost positive my tuition                                             University of Calgary
battle for votes was just as fierce as                                      News Editor    it was admitted that “in hindsight,          was $550. I am not sure if that                                          2500 University Drive, NW
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Calgary, AB T2N 1N4
                                                                                          having loading docks placed at the           included an activity fee or whether                                      General inquires: 220-7750

Man up, Mulroney                                                                          centre of campus was not the best
                                                                                          way to set it up.”
                                                                                                                                       that was tacked on. It certainly did
                                                                                                                                       not include textbooks or anything
                                                                                                                                                                                                                http://gauntlet.ucalgary.ca

                                                                                                                                                                               The Gauntlet is the official student newspaper of the University
                                                                                                                                                                               of Calgary, published most Thursdays throughout the year by the
   Not long after his heavy involve-         Trudeau when it comes to altruism               Looking at a map, clearly this space      extra required for labs. It was         Gauntlet Publications Society, an autonomous, incorporated body.
                                                                                                                                                                               Membership in the society is open to undergraduate students at the U
ment in the 2006 Liberal Convention,         as well. If somehow he’s able to get         has always been a physical centre of         simple tuition and it was a lot of      of C, but all members of the university community are encouraged to
                                                                                                                                                                               contribute. Opinions contained herein are those of individual writers,
Justin Trudeau announced his                 anyone to take him seriously, he             campus, so to come to this revelation        money back then.                        and do not necessarily represent the views of the entire Gauntlet
                                                                                                                                                                               staff. Editorials are chosen by a majority of the editorial board.
intention to seek the nomination             might actually stand a chance. On            now and to feel the need to spend mil-          Passing this number through the      The Gauntlet is a forum open to all U of C students but may refuse
                                                                                                                                                                               any submission judged to be racist, sexist, homophobic, libelous,
of the Papineau, Montreal riding,            the other hand, it might be tough to         lions of dollars to fix a mistake is pure     Bank of Canada Inflation Indicator,      or containing attacks of a strictly personal nature. We reserve the
                                                                                                                                                                               right to edit for brevity. Grievances regarding the Gauntlet follow a
clearing up much speculation as to           live down Canadian Idol.                     madness. How would the decision              I have determined that today this       three-step process which requires written decisions from the Editor,
                                                                                                                                                                               the GPS Board of Directors, and the Ombudsboard. The complete
his political ambitions. Trudeau has            So, Mulroney, if you’re reading           makers feel about demolishing the            simple tuition would be equivalent      Grievance Policy is online at: http://gauntlet.ucalgary.ca. The Gauntlet
                                                                                                                                                                               is printed on recycled paper and uses the angry tears of rejected SU
been everything from a Katimavik             this (and I know you are, since you          Administration building and erecting         to about $3,830 today. The per cent     hopefuls-based ink. We urge you to recycle/punch out the Gauntlet.

youth leader to the head of the              responded personally to the last             the digital library in its place? Sure the   increase over those 46 years has been                                                           Letter Policy
Canadian Avalanche Foundation,               editorial I wrote about you), it’s           libraries would not be connected, but        just shy of 600 per cent.               Letters must be typed, double-spaced and received by Monday at
                                                                                                                                                                               4 p.m., and must include the author’s name, student ID number,
                                                                                                                                                                               telephone number and signature. Letters will not be printed if
as well as pursuing a masters of arts        time to put on the big-kid pants.            a quadrangle would still exist without          Do students have that much to        they include attacks of a strictly personal nature, statements that
                                                                                                                                                                               discriminate on the basis of race, sex, or sexual orientation, or
in geography from McGill University.         Are you really going to let Trudeau          the price tag attached with the current      complain about or were tuitions         libellous or defamatory material. All letters should be addressed
                                                                                                                                                                               to “Editor, the Gauntlet,” and be no longer than 300 words. The
With his recent affirmation that he           punk you again? I mean, the two of           proposal. But I am sure that this idea       frozen or kept far below cost for so    Gauntlet retains the right to edit submissions. Letters can be
                                                                                                                                                                               delivered or mailed to the Gauntlet office, Room 319 MacEwan
will, indeed, follow in his father’s         you are similar enough to draw com-          would never be considered because it         many years that they simply became      Student Centre, or sent by e-mail to gauntlet@ucalgary.ca.
footsteps, one fact has become               parison in the media, and the guy has        would not be the students that would         unrealistic?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 The Cover
clearer than ever: It’s time for Ben         showed you up at every turn.                 be inconvenienced. Our university               Gary Zone, retired and sometimes-                             photographs and design by Chris Tait
Mulroney to man up.                             If child abuse statistics have any        could put $50 million dollars to use                        continuing ed. student
   Also the son of a former prime            clout, the son of a Conservative is
minister, Mulroney is no less suited         probably going to be able to take a
to politics than Trudeau. He’s been          punch better than the son of a Liberal,
the host of not one, but two prime-          so if it came to it, Mulroney would
time reality television shows, an            probably come out on top. Actually,
entertainment reporter for Canada            I just made that up, and I don’t even
am, a columnist for the Toronto Sun          know why they would get in a fist
and holds two degrees—one in law             fight anyway. You have to admit it
and one in history—from Laval and            would be hilarious, though.
Duke Universities. With his recent              But seriously, Ben: You could take
appointment as the national ambas-           the bitch.
sador of unicef, Mulroney looks as                                      Kyle Francis
though he might just be able to match                              Entertainment Editor
news                                                                                                                                                                             GAUNTLET MARCH 01.07 5
                                                                                                                                                                                Editor: Emily Senger—news@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca




First rez, next the world!
Bogle wins SU presidential race by 20 votes
Emily Senger
News Editor




T
        hree rez kids will lead the
        Students’ Union next year,
        though they promise not
to do it wearing pajama pants and
flip-flops.
   Three of the five executive elected
in the su general election are mem-
bers of the Residence Students’
Association, including president-
elect Julie Bogle, who edged out
her nearest competitor by a mere
20 votes. Results were announced
in the Den Thur., Feb. 15.
                                                                                                    Ændrew Rininsland/the Gauntlet                                                                      Chris Tait/the Gauntlet
   “I’m really glad,” said Bogle, who
won the race with 38 per cent of the     SU president-elect Julie Bogle jumps for joy.                                                SU VP external-elect Mike Selnes (right) celebrates his victory
vote. “It was a tight race and we’re                                                                                                  and gives Teale Phelps Bondaroff (left) a pat on the back.
all qualified candidates, but students    sioner, said he was content with         margin was current su president
showed they wanted an internally-        the results, even though he did not      Emily Wyatt, who won the board of
focused candidate. I’m stoked to be      come out on top.                         governors representative spot with
representing students next year.”           “All the other races were really      79 per cent of the vote. Her competi-
   Bogle—who is currently an su          close,” noted Olsen. “It was the         tor, first-year engineering student
events commissioner and the rsa          difference of visiting one class.”       Jeremy Zhao, ran on the platform
vice-president apartments—ran               Fellow rez kid and current su         of having no platform and included
on a platform of representing stu-       external commissioner and rsa            “over 19 years of being a Chinese”
dents, grassroots mobilization and       external manager Mike Selnes gar-        in his list of qualifications.
re-examining current su policies         nered 55 per cent of the vote to come       “I’m glad students voted respon-
and procedures.                          out on top of Teale Phelps Bondaroff     sibly,” said Wyatt of her victory.
   Runner-up presidential candidate      in the vp external race.                    su chief returning officer Mike
Wilma Shim, who came in 20 votes            “[I feel] utter shock,” said Selnes   Brown noted that the election
shy of Bogle, was not available for      of his victory. “I didn’t know how to    went smoothly despite concerns
comment.                                 feel coming into this, but you never     that Peoplesoft—the university’s
   Current vp external Julie Labonte     really know how to feel—Teale was        new software system—could crash
came third in the presidential race      a hell of a competitor.”                 during voting.
with 24 per cent of votes. She sug-         As for Phelps Bondaroff, he              The only issue was with CanVote,
gested the residence vote was the        wished Selnes well and hinted at         the external voting service the su
deciding factor in the election. In      plans to take his politics outside of    uses. Brown noted that the CanVote
addition to Bogle, both vp opera-        the university and run as a candi-       server was bogged down by a high
tions and finance winner Fraser          date for the ndp in the next federal     number of voters in the last half
Stuart and vp external winner Mike       election.                                hour of voting.
Selnes are on the rsa.                      In the vp academic race, current         “The ballot itself slowed down,
   “Of course I’m sad, but it’s going    academic commissioner Brittany           but everyone was able to vote,”
to be an awesome executive this year,    Sargent edged out fine arts faculty       said Brown.
they all know each other—right           rep Teri Cameron by 173 votes.              Brown said 17.7 per cent of stu-
off the bat they’ll be able to work         Cameron said she was satisfied         dents voted in this election, which is
together,” commented Labonte. “It        with the outcome of the race and         up from last year’s 16.7 per cent.
goes to show, rez is a strong vote.”     will be happy to put the stressful          “[Voter turnout] was slightly
   The vp operations and finance was      campaign trail behind her.               higher because a lot of the can-
an even tighter race than president,        “It was a close race for all of the   didates were already in the su,”
with Fraser Stuart edging out Kyle       execs,” said Cameron. “Brit’s going      noted Brown. “They were higher-
Olsen by just 16 votes.                  to do a great job and I survived the     profile.”
   Stuart said the close race encour-    Gauntlet panel.”                            Current vp events Eric Jablonski
ages him to work hard next year.            Sargent said she was excited to       will return for a second term as
   “I feel like I’ve got to prove        kick-off her term with a focus on        vp events. He was acclaimed.
myself,” said Stuart, who is a cur-      teaching quality.                           The new executive will be sworn
rent academic commissioner. He              “[My priority will be] the Teaching   in April 26.
received 1,235 votes.                    and Learning Centre,” said Sargent.
   “I want to represent everybody,       “I’m going to work really hard and          For a full list of results including senate,
                                                                                                                                                                                                        Chris Tait/the Gauntlet
even if their interests don’t coincide   learn that passion so it doesn’t get        commissioner and faculty representative
with mine,” he said.                     left behind.”                                    positions visit su.ucalgary.ca.             Events commissioner Josh Sandulak (in white) and VP op-fi-elect
                                                                                     With files from Rachel Betts-Willmott and
   Olsen, a current op-fi commis-            The only race won by a large                             Sara Hanson.                     Fraser Stuart (hug recipient) celebrate victory with bro-love.

   campus quips                                                                                                                     What do you think of Britney Spears’ new look?
                          “Ah, good for her                                   “It’s a mental break                                       “She probably                                      “I don’t really have
                          for being original. I                               down.”                                                     shouldn’t have done                                an opinion.”
                          don’t really give a shit,                           – Matthew Tang, third-                                     it. She was fine                                    – Motwakil Eldema,
                          though.”                                            year engineering                                           before, but kinda                                  first-year geophysics
                          – Andrew Marcil,                                                                                               went crazy.”
                          second-year biological                                                                                         – Carina Vigna,
                          sciences                                                                                                       first-year biological
                                                                                                                                         sciences
                                                                                                                                                                Interviews: Kristina Lord Photographs: Geoff MacIntosh
6 MARCH 01.07 GAUNTLET NEWS


                                                       Shell CEO brings Ferrari,
                                                       $1.15 million to U of C
                                                       Katy Anderson
                                                       News Assistant




                                                       F
                                                              ree pizza, a Ferrari and three
                                                              free trips to the oil sands in
                                                              a private jet were just part of
                                                       Shell Canada’s forum announcing
                                                       a $1.15 million investment to the
                                                       University of Calgary’s Institute for
                                                       Sustainable Energy, Environment
                                                       and Economy Mon., Feb. 26.
                                                         “This is one of many such
                                                       announcements that have been
                                                       made by Shell and that will be made
                                                       by Shell,” said iseee managing direc-
                                                       tor Dr. Robert Mansell.
                                                         The investment is in the name of
                                                       iseee but will be funneled to iseee’s
                                                       partners in the areas of business,
                                                       engineering, earth sciences, environ-
                                                       mental design, natural resource law
                                                       and information technology.
                                                         “There are two pieces [to the
                                                       investment,]” said Mansell. “The
                                                       $750,000 is for equipment. The
                                                       other announcement that was made
                                                       today is for the Shell Experiential
                                                       Energy Learning program. That is
                                                       a program where we will allocate
                                                       $50,000 a year for student field visits
                                                       and activities and $50,000 per year
                                                       for student projects, something like
                                                                                                                                                          Emily Senger/the Gauntlet
                                                       [the] solar car.”
                                                          Mansell estimated that 25 to 40       Shell CEO Clive Mathers gets scrummed in front of a Ferrari
                                                       students per year will get the oppor-    F2400, the purpose of which is unknown.
                                                       tunity to participate in the seel field
                                                       program. He specified the $750,000        professor so we’re helping spon-        a relationship with the university
    PRESIDENT              BOARD OF                    will be used to purchase research        sor him.”                               since the beginning.”
    Julie Bogle            GOVERNORS                   equipment for associate professor of        Mathers said a stronger relation-      Mathers said that fieldwork is
                           REPRESENTATIVE              petroleum and chemical engineer-         ship would benefit both parties.         important to students because it gives
    VP ACADEMIC            Emily Wyatt
                                                       ing Dr. Harvey Yarrington and his           “I do not see this as a process of   them practical experience about what
    Brittany Sargent                                   students.                                commercialization,” said Mathers.       they learn in the classroom.
                           SENATE                         “[Yarrington] is doing specific        “I see this as a process of relation-     “Calgary is our hometown,” said
    ACADEMIC               REPRESENTATIVES             work on improving the technol-           ship. I have to be visible as a rep-    Mathers. “The university will rely
    COMMISSIONERS          Deanne Cameron Dubuque      ogy for bitumen extraction,” said        resentative for my company and          on us in terms of fieldwork and we
    Alastair MacKinnon     Brent Kettles               Shell Canada President and ceo           I think it’s entirely proper that I     will rely on them for pure research,
    Megan Martin
                                                       Clive Mathers. “This is absolutely       should make people aware of the         which will ultimately lead to better
    Luke M. Valentine      FACULTY
    Tanya Zhao                                         vital work and he’s a world class        careers that we offer. We’ve had        technology.”
                           REPRESENTATIVES
    VP EVENTS              COMMUNICATIONS
    Eric Jablonski

    EVENTS
                           AND CULTURE
                           Christina Rontynen
                           EDUCATION
                                                       Med school dean announced
    COMMISSIONERS          Ryan Daniel Anderson
    Brynn Collingridge     ENGINEERING
    Richard Freeman                                    Amanda Hu                                Region’s department of clinical         gral,” Feasby explained. “Another
                           *vacancy
    Josh Sandulak                                      Sports Assistant                         neurosciences.                          key relationship we have is with
    Pamela M. Weatherbee   FINE ARTS                                                               Feasby has many goals for the        the U of C. It is an identifiable rela-
                           *vacancy                      There will soon be someone new         faculty of medicine that appeal         tionship that dictates that we play
    VP EXTERNAL            HASKAYNE SCHOOL             to command the ranks of medical          to the faculty’s young history and      a stronger role. We want to work
    Mike Selnes            OF BUSINESS                 school students at the University        promising future.                       closely with the government in terms
                           Tim Young                   of Calgary.                                 “The faculty has done very well so   of incentives for the program as well
    EXTERNAL
    COMMISSIONERS          HUMANITIES                    U of C president Dr. Harvey            far and we need to strive to be bet-    as have good collegial relationships
                           *vacancy                    Weingarten announced the appoint-        ter,” said Feasby. “We really need to   with other schools. We need to be
    Dalmy Baez
    Phil Hunter            KINESIOLOGY                                    ment of Dr. Tom       focus our efforts. No one can be the    aligned with them, although we are
    Glen Krueger           Christopher John DeSutter                      Feasby as dean        best at everything but I think we can   also in competition.”
    Kat Lord               LAW                                            of the faculty of     be internationally competitive with         He expressed much excitement
    VP OPERATIONS          Holly Vear                                     medicine Feb. 20.     our very high level of research.”       over the prospect of coming back to
    AND FINANCE            MEDICINE                                       Feasby replaces          Feasby added that because the        the atmosphere of Calgary.
                           Jason Bau                                      Dr. Grant Gall,       U of C is home to one of the only          “I believe the university and the
    Fraser Stuart
                           NURSING                                        who served two        medical schools that has a two-to       faculty need to be a part of the com-
    OPERATIONS             Jenna Baumgartner           Dr. Feasby.        five-year terms       three-year program, the faculty         munity,” said Feasby. “We need to
    AND FINANCE            SCIENCE                                       in the position.       needs to emphasize that uniqueness      feed off the infectious energy of
    COMMISSIONERS          Lauren Tomkins                Though currently working at the        and strengthen its undergraduate        Calgary. This city has a real ‘can-do’
    Allan Craig Bailey                                 University of Alberta, Feasby’s hir-     projects.                               attitude about it and I think that we
                           SOCIAL SCIENCE
    Bryan Campbell
                           Nav Thind
                                                       ing is more of a return than a new          Feasby also emphasized the           need to aspire to those same heights.
    Alex Judd                                          undertaking. Feasby was head of the      relationships the faculty has with      It is one of the most progressive
    Tommy NG               SOCIAL WORK
                                                       U of C department of clinical neu-       other groups.                           communities in Canada.”
                           *vacancy
                                                       rosciences for more than 10 years as        “The relationship we have with the      Feasby assumes his new role
                                                       well as head of the Calgary Health       Calgary Health Region is very inte-     July 1, 2007.
                                                                                                                                                  GAUNTLET NEWS MARCH 01.07 7


Stelmach goes full steam ahead                                                                                                                           International
                                                                                                                                                         students frustrated
Sara Hanson                               by noting the complications added
News Assistant                            by environmental threats. Although                                                                             by LEAP program
                                          he later noted protecting the envi-


A
         lberta’s booming economy         ronment must be a responsibility, he                                                                           Jessica Fu
         will not be slowing down any     criticized both the B. C. government                                                                           Gauntlet News
         time soon.                       and the federal Liberals for setting
   This was the message Premier           ambitious and unachievable green-                                                                                 Students say that the University
Ed Stelmach delivered to the              house gas reduction targets.                                                                                   of Calgary’s Learning English for
Economics Society of Calgary at               “It is clear that green politics are                                                                       Academic Purposes program is
the Calgary Chamber of Commerce,          as much about emotion as they are                                                                              not worth the money.
Thur., Feb. 22.                           about size,” he said.                                                                                             The leap program is offered by
   After describing a brief history of       Securing long-term prosperity                                                                               the faculty of education to prepare
Alberta’s economy, Stelmach noted         for the province and managing                                                                                  students for the English language
the parallels between Alberta’s post-     growth so all Albertans can enjoy                                                                              entry requirement at the University
war economy and the economy of            a high quality of life including                                                                               of Calgary. However, students are
today. However, Stelmach also noted       access to education, health care and                                                                           complaining that the program has
the province’s current growth is          career opportunities were high on                                                                              its problems.
unprecedented.                            Stelmach’s priority list.                                                                                         “[Students] write [placement]
   “Alberta is in the midst of the           When asked about the afford-                                                                                tests and they’re paying for this
strongest period of economic growth       ability of post-secondary education,                                                                           education that they’re getting, but
ever recorded by any province in          Stelmach said the government’s 2007                                                                            when they ask why they didn’t pass,
Canada’s history,” he said.               budget, which will be announced on                                                                             they’re told they don’t have access
   By highlighting the positive           April 19, will include increased sup-                                                                          to that information,” said Rona
effects of Alberta’s prosperity on        port for pse, though he would not                                                                              MacEachern, a student’s guardian.
the country, Stelmach warned that         provide details.                                                                                               “Not even a number.”
any negative effects would also be           “There are so many challenges                                                                                  Before the start of classes, students
felt from coast to coast.                 both on the infrastructure side and                                                                            in leap take a placement test to
   “[Alberta] is the engine that drives   literary programs,” he said. “There                                                                            determine which of the program’s
the whole Canadian economy,” said         will be some dollars there.”                                                                                   four levels they should be placed in.
Stelmach. “Any imposed slow-down             Finding a balance between                                                                                   After passing level four, a student
in Alberta would have devastating         the cost for the student and the                                                                               achieves the level of proficiency
impacts on the whole Canadian             cost for the taxpayer is another                                                                               in English to be admitted into
economy.”                                 challenge that must be faced,                                                                                  a degree program at the Uof C.
   Stressing his support for the free     Stelmach noted.                                                                                                However, they are not allowed to
market system, Stelmach explained            “Those that have to access dol-                                                                             recieve feedback on the placement
that Alberta’s trade relationship with    lars for post-secondary may have to                                                                            test.
British Columbia forms the second         take a student loan, that is a cost,”                                                                             “[We don't give feedback] because
largest economy in Canada. He also        he said. “But if it’s totally paid for                                                                         it’s not a device for teaching,” said
noted the growing importance of           by the government, by the taxpayer,                                                                            leap program director Dr. Bruce
trade with the United States.             it’s an investment.”                                                                                           Clark. “All they get is the number.
   “Post 9⁄11, America is hungry             In reaction to the premier’s                                                                                The reason you can’t learn from it
for a secure supply of oil and gas,”      speech, deputy leader for the provin-                                                                          is because it’s based on the notion
                                                                                                                                Chris Tait/the Gauntet
he said. “And [they are] intensely        cial Liberals Dave Taylor expressed                                                                            of what correlates with what.
interested in our oil sands.”             concern about the Conservatives’           Ed Stelmach spoke economics with members of the Calgary                  see leap program problems,
   However, before pursuing trade         economic agenda.                           business community Thur., Feb. 22.                                                                    page 8
relationships with other countries,          “This is just reckless the way we
Stelmach stressed Alberta must first       are going about it now,” he said.
sustain trade within Canada.              “The Conservatives are convinc-
   “National policies must respect        ing everyone to get what they can
Alberta’s economy, prosperity and         and get it now. We don’t need to be
our contribution to our partners in       talking in terms of stopping devel-
federation,” he said.                     opment of the oil patch, but do we
   Stelmach continued to explore the      really need to be going at the pace
challenges facing Alberta’s economy       we are now?”
8 MARCH 01.07 GAUNTLET NEWS



Students make Calgary better on break
Cam Cotton-O’Brien                                                                                                                 Community Services and ran                less individuals still taking care of
Gauntlet News                                                                                                                      Feb.18–22. The students participated      one another,”
                                                                                                                                   in different activities including art        In the Guelph project students


W
             hile the rest of us spent                                                                                             projects and a drumming circle at         worked with the aids committee
             our reading breaks                                                                                                    Knox Church, a tour of Calgary            of Guelph and Wellington to learn
             twittering       around                                                                                               Urban Projects Society—a com-             about hiv⁄aids and to develop
on beaches, ski hills, or perhaps                                                                                                  munity organization providing             educational presentations for local
drinking alone in our bathtubs,                                                                                                    necessary services including              schools.
some University of Calgary students                                                                                                healthcare and literacy programs             The su’s Alternative Spring Break
volunteered their time to help the                                                                                                 for the homeless and low-income           is a similar program now in its 10th
community and learn about the                                                                                                      earners—and working with Inn              year and involved 10 U of C students
social issues facing the city.                                                                                                     From the Cold.                            and two su coordinators.
   Both the Office of the Student                                                                                                     The week also included a panel            “The reaction of the volunteers
Experience’s Project Serve, and the                                                                                                discussion of U of C faculty and pro-     was positive,” said Alternative
Students’ Union Alternative Spring                                                                                                 fessionals which allowed students         Spring Break coordinator Andrew
Break aimed to involve students with                                                                                               to hear multiple perspectives on          Barry. “Alternative Spring Break
community service organizations to                                                                                                 homelessness.                             events include a volunteer activity
develop the students’ awareness of                                                                                                    The highlight of the week came         at a charitable agency and they also
and ability to confront issues like                                                                                                Wed., Feb. 21, when students were         include a tour or presentation from
                                                                                        courtesy Office of the Student Experience
homelessness and poverty.                                                                                                          led on a night tour of the down-          the charitable agency.”
   “One of the main objectives           U of C students sort clothing donations.                                                  town area arranged through the               The students volunteered at and
of Project Serve is to encourage                                                                                                   joint effort of Homeless Awareness        toured the Calgary Inter-Faith Food
lifelong citizenship and com-            gram between the U of C and Guelph      on important issues facing the com-               Calgary and McMan. The two-hour           Bank, the Mustard Seed Street
munity engagement,” said ose             University in Ontario, where it was     munity.                                           tour was guided by five people who         Ministry winter shelter, Habitat
coordinator of student leadership        originally developed.                      “Project Serve is community-                   had been, or are currently homeless.      for Humanity, the Salvation Army
programs Aryne Sheppard. “For               This year is the third the U of C    driven, so we look at the serious                 During the tour, the guides shared        Center of Hope and Booth Centre,
me, it was really important for all      has participated. Of the 20 student     issues facing the community,” said                their experiences of homelessness         and the ywca Sheriff King Home.
the participants to know that regard-    participants in Calgary, nine were      Sheppard. “This year homelessness                 and the challenges they faced.               “Alternative Spring Break pro-
less of their faculty and regardless     U of C students with the remaining 11   has gotten so much media coverage                    “What everybody took away was          vides a great opportunity to learn
of their future career, everyone has     from Guelph. On the other end, nine     it was a natural choice for this year’s           quite humbling,” said Sheppard.           about a variety of social issues and
a role to play in finding solutions to    U of C students joined 16 from          project.”                                         “[The student’s were] inspired by         agencies that deal with these social
social problems.”                        Guelph in Ontario. Each year the           Project Serve worked closely                   the strength of the guides who were       issues within a very short period of
   Project Serve is an exchange pro-     focus of the project changes based      with McMan Youth Family and                       still involved in helping other home-     time,” said Barry.



LEAP program problems, continued from pg. 7
The end score doesn’t matter             in tuition for each three-month         in the wrong level as she was                     issue with their instructors.                Another issue with the
[whether] you got this wrong or          session. One of these students, who     learning concepts she was already                    However, despite her meetings          leap program is that many
you got something else wrong.”           did not want to be named, argued        familiar with.                                    with instructors, the student says        international students believe
  Most of the participants in the        that the program has been a waste          Clark said that students who                   that little or no action was taken.       the program is mandatory to apply
leap program are international           of both her time and money. The         think they are improperly placed                     “I have groups of students [who        to university.
students who pay about $4,168            student believes she was placed         are given the option to discuss this              have] filled out the universal student        “When originally they applied to
                                                                                                                                   ratings of instruction and have said      the U of C they didn’t know they
                                                                                                                                   that their experience has been won-       were applying to the leap program,”
                                                                                                                                   derful,” said Clark. “Then they come      said MacEachern. “They thought
                                                                                                                                   to me to complain about it, but the       they were applying for university and
                                                                                                                                   official record is the usri. I keep say-   then they just get here and they get
                                                                                                                                   ing to them: ‘tell me in [the] form       put into the leap program. It just
                                                                                                                                   what you’re honestly experiencing,        infuriates me that somebody could
                                                                                                                                   then I can honestly do something          take advantage of people like that.
                                                                                                                                   about it.’”                               It’s just appalling.”
                                                                                                                                                                         GAUNTLET NEWS MARCH 01.07 9


A Dyer global warming message                                                                                                         Grad school admissions test
Ændrew Rininsland
                                                                                                                                      gets twice as long
Production Editor
                                                                                                                                      Amanda Hu                                well, being scored on a scale of one


B
        lazing hot summers. Brutal                                                                                                    Sports Assistant                         to six. The schools that a person
        winters. Hawaii sinking into                                                                                                                                           applies for will now be able to see the
        the ocean. These are the                                                                                                         Getting into grad school is           actual essay in addition to the score
images normally conjured by people                                                                                                    already difficult, but with a            when looking over an applicant’s
in attempting to comprehend the                                                                                                       recent announcement from the             marks.”
potential disaster humanity may be                                                                                                    Educational Testing Service, it             Kaplan explained that the new test
facing in coming years with regards                                                                                                   just got a lot harder.                   places less emphasis on vocabulary
to global warming. Yet, according to                                                                                                     The ets recently announced that       and geometry and more focus on
world-renowned Canadian journal-                                                                                                      the Graduate Record Examination is       data interpretation.
ist and historian Gwynne Dyer, these                                                                                                  undergoing a makeover in content            In total, the new exam will con-
may be the least of our problems.                                                                                                     and format for the fall. The exam,       tain two 40-minute quantitative
   “I began to realize about a                                                                                                        originally two and a half hours in       sections, two 40-minute verbal
year ago that some governments                                                                                                        length, will be extended to four         sections, one experimental section
were starting to take an inter-                                                                                                       hours. The format is also being          and two 30-minute analytical writ-
est in climate change which you                                                                                                       changed from a computer adaptive         ing essays.
could only call worrisome,” said                                                                                                      test, which alters the questions based      Kaplan suggested that stu-
Dyer from his home in London                                                                                                          on responses, to a computer-based        dents planning to take the gre
Tues., Feb. 27. “Obviously there’s the                                                                                                test, which administers the same         prepare and register as soon
whole actual climate change stuff,                                                                                                    questions to every test taker in the     as possible in order to take the
                                                                                                                 Gauntlet file photo
in the sense of, ‘Will the sea rise?’,                                                                                                same order.                              current, shorter version of the
‘Will the temperatures change?’,         Gwynne Dyer shakes his finger at humanity.                                                       “They need more questions             test.
rainfall patterns and all that stuff.                                                                                                 because of the change in format,”           “I’d suggest that students set aside
But what they were starting to take      Europe and Africa, anywhere south        or whatever. It’s an opportunity. It’s              explained Susan Kaplan, director of      around three months in which to
an interest in and worry about was       of the Alps is screwed, but Britain’s    not an economic collapse. There’s                   graduate programs for Kaplan Test        study and prepare,” said Kaplan.
the actual military strategic impact     fine.”                                    a huge failure of the imagination at                Prep and Admissions. “This makes         “Obviously, as there is a crunch
of that.”                                   “There’s going to be a whole lot      the economic level, which is why I                  the test a more accurate predictor of    to take the old version of the
   Dyer is giving a talk in MacEwan      of refugees from countries that are      think the United States has been                    success in graduate school. It also      exam, people may have to speed
Hall Thur., March 8 entitled “The        rich, industrialized and could easily    such a major obstacle.”                             reduces the effects of memorization      up their preparation process. The
Climate Wars.” He believes the           make nuclear weapons in no time at          “[Secondly,] you can tell Congo                  and tests more general knowledge         old exam was administered nearly
most potentially catastrophic            all, wanting to come north.”             what to do, but we can’t tell China                 gained during the undergraduate          every day, while the new one will
result of global warming won’t              According to Dyer, there are two      or Brazil or India what to do. Every                experience.”                             only be given less than 35 times in
be shrinking ice-caps or flooding         large problems facing society in the     time I go to talk to people in India,                  Kaplan added that the questions       a year. This means that spots for the
metropolitan centres; rather, a two      race to prevent environmental melt-      I have to sit through 45 minute                     and testing sections themselves will     examination are going to fill up very
per cent increase in temperature will    down: the belief that the industrial-    lectures about the inequity of the                  be significantly altered.                 quickly.”
lead to widespread famine, causing       ized nations are going to go broke       West which is now trying to pre-                       “The complex sentence section            The new gre will launch in
a cascade effect in which northern       in the process, as well as the belief    tend we’re all equally responsible                  previously had one blank that had        September 2007 and the scores from
nations become inundated with            that developing nations need do as       for the climate before I can get on                 to be filled in and will now contain      that exam will not be released until
refugees.                                much as the g8 countries.                with asking any serious questions.                  two or three,” Kaplan said. “The         early November as the new version
   “What got my attention first             “People don’t seem to grasp that      It drives you nuts.”                                analytical writing and critical          is still in the early stages of develop-
of all was that about a year and a       solving this problem could be as           For more ticket info. visit www.su.ucalgary.ca.   thinking section will be changed as      ment.
half ago, the British government         profitable as ignoring it,” he said.
announced it would go for a whole        “We know [people] aren’t going to
new generation of nuclear weapons,”
said Dyer. “The British government
                                         stop driving cars, what that means
                                         is, if you were only paying attention,
                                                                                         You may be eligible
does a lot of scenario planning and
they’ve been onto climate change for
                                         is that here’s an opportunity for us
                                         to replace the whole stock of global
                                                                                                                                 for up to $1,000
20 or so odd years and it is pretty      automobiles. Somebody’s going to
clear now that, if you look at the way   make money off of that, whether
climate change is going to affect        they’re hybrids or battery-powered




                                                                                         The Millennium Alberta Rural
                                                                                         Incentive Bursary is designed to
                                                                                         encourage rural Albertans to pursue
                                                                                         post-secondary education – any student
                                                                                         from outside Calgary, Edmonton,
                                                                                         Sherwood Park or St. Albert. The program
                                                                                         provides bursaries of up to $1,000.


                                                                                                                                          Find out if you're eligible:
                                                                                                                       www.alis.gov.ab.ca/studentsfinance
10 MARCH 01.07 GAUNTLET NEWS


                               Naughty nurses ixnayed
                               Controversial Med Show, minus the sexism
                               and anti-Semitism




                                                                                                                                     Geoff MacIntosh/the Gauntlet

                               The ringmaster prepares for this year’s Med Show, Circuscision.

                               Christina Lam                            Lam. “I am feeling quite a bit of pres-   monitor themselves without external
                               Gauntlet News                            sure from various sources, from the       control.
                                                                        various committees that we have to           “We don’t want faculty watch-


                               Y
                                        ears after the University of    report to.”                               ing students,” said Lam. “It is our
                                        Alberta’s Med Show sang            Lam said these committees              place to govern ourselves. We
                                        its controversial swan song,    include those representative of the       organize it. We star in it. We do
                               Calgary’s future doctors have to         associate dean and the U of C’s fac-      our best to make sure no particu-
                               watch their step as they take the        ulty of medicine, the student affairs     lar groups or people are offended
                               stage.                                   committee, the Canadian Medical           by the show. The professional-
                                  Often associated with its risqué      Students’ Association, and the medi-      ism committee reviews the dress
                               reputation, Med Show is an annual        cal professionalism committee.            rehearsal, and they have the last say
                               three-day variety show which raises         “We are governed by four guiding       on what they find appropriate or
                               funds for medical student initiatives    principles approved by the Calgary        inappropriate.”
                               while showcasing their lesser-known      medical students’ association and            Despite the U of A incident,
                               talents.                                 also by the student affairs com-          Abouassaly, Schachar and Lam
                                  However, in March 2005, student       mittee,” said Lam. “These four            agree that the show should go on.
                               performances depicting sexism and        principles ensure that Med Show is           “There’s a fine line between
                               anti-Semitism brought a halt to          appropriate for our profession and        freedom of expression and being
                               the U of A’s Med Show festivities.       does not marginalize any groups of        appropriate and professional,” said
                               One musical number, entitled the         individuals.”                             Schachar. “I think the underlying
                               “Nurses’ Song,” featured fourth-            “[The guiding principles] outline      intention of Med Show is to make
                               year medical students spouting           things like respecting the dignity of     fun of ourselves. We spend all day,
                               lyrics such as “Nurses you just won’t    yourself and other students, respect-     every day with each other, and there
                               believe / the shit you’ve stirred up     ing your peers and human rights,”         are a lot of things that happen that
                               here / your incompetence is all / so     summarized Marcel Abouassaly, a           deserve a laugh.”
                               very fucking clear” to the tune of       member of the U of C student medi-           Lam also attributed the uncon-
                               Jesus Christ Superstar. Another          cal professionalism committee.            ventional take on typically dark
                               depicted a Hitler-esque figure              Rachel Schachar, another mem-          situations to the seriousness of a
                               singing and dancing along to the         ber of the professionalism com-           career in medicine.
                               Teddy Bear’s Picnic.                     mittee, said the principles were             “We would definitely never
                                  Following the Med Show’s run,         created in 2006, following the            consider making fun of minorities
                               complaints from the U of A faculty       cancellation of the U of A Med            or other health care professionals,”
                               of nursing and Jewish student            Show.                                     said Lam. “Given the severity of
                               groups fuelled an investigation             “We were approached by the             the offence that certain groups have
                               into the event’s offensive program.      medical professional committee,”          taken to the U of A Med Show, I
                               A public statement from the faculty      said Schachar. “They suggested            believe [cancellation] was an
                               of medicine later announced the          we help develop some guiding              appropriate gesture, despite really
                               cancellation of the show, closing        principles with the Med Show              ruining a tradition that is part of
                               the door on an institution found         directors. Together we discussed the      every medical school. In light
                               in nearly every medical school           issues surrounding Med Show and           of their recent notice, the U of A
                               nation-wide.                             came up with a list. The principles       really has to keep its nose clean.
                                  Two years later, medical students     are broad, we didn’t want them            And tragically, because we’re also
                               at the U of C are gearing up for what    to be censorship. It was totally          an Alberta medical school, we have
                               is now Alberta’s only Med Show and       student-driven and everyone was           to keep our nose clean too.”
                               event organizers continue to feel        all for it.”                                 Representatives of the U of A
                               pressure under the watchful eyes            Lam also highlighted the efforts       faculty of medicine did not return
                               of professionalism committees.           of students and student commit-           multiple phone calls before print.
                                  “Since what I like to call ‘U of A-   tees to maintain professionalism.
                               gate’, I feel the scrutiny of the        He distanced the Med Show from              The U of C Med Show, entitled Circuscision,
                                                                                                                   takes place March 2–4 in the Health Sciences
                               public quite a bit more,” said           the office of the dean of medicine,            Centre Libin Theatre. For more info go to
                               U of C Med Show director Russell         noting it is critical for students to                 www.med.ucalgary.ca.
opinions                                                                                                                                                                GAUNTLET MARCH 01.07 11
                                                                                                                                                                       Editor: Kate Foote—opinions@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca




Gosh golly gee, ain’t Gore great?
                                                                                                                                                                       government either. George W.
                                                                                                                                                                       Bush’s approval rating is topping
                                                                                                                                                                       out at 35 per cent. The new demo-
 Andrew Barbero                                                                                                                                                        crat-dominated congress is slightly
Gauntlet Opinions                                                                                                                                                      more popular, but primarily by
                                                                                                                                                                       default, as Bush’s jackassery is
                                                                                                                                                                       indefensible.

A    l Gore is the man.
        Vice-president of one of the
most celebrated administrations
                                                                                                                                                                          You can’t make soldiers heroes
                                                                                                                                                                       when they’re fighting an illegal
                                                                                                                                                                       war.
in U.S. presidential history, an                                                                                                                                          Athletes don’t take after
Academy Award winner, rumored                                                                                                                                          Mohammad Ali in protesting war,
nominee for the 2007 Nobel Peace                                                                                                                                       social issues or demonstrating any
Prize, a successful business man,                                                                                                                                      strong opinions. After all, Peyton
father of a Futurama staff writer,                                                                                                                                     Manning has a q score to worry
Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. is even cou-                                                                                                                                   about.
rageous enough to grow a beard.                                                                                                                                           And in the midst of this mess,
   Sure, there have been some                                                                                                                                          Al Gore emerges. His agenda is
inconvenient truths about the                                                                                                                                          transparent: environmental damage
lovable loser. While still U.S. vice-                                                                                                                                  is real with real consequences, and
president, he was investigated by        has transcended his track record           still funny. Well, mildly funny.           healthy shade of yellowish haze is      like the rest of the world, Americans
then-attorney general Janet Reno         to become that nation’s greatest              Davis Gugenheim’s film about             largely ignored.                        need to accept a role in correcting it.
over fundraising issues. He made         leader.                                    global warming, An Inconvenient               Therein lies the trouble.            He is unfettered by corporate inter-
the unfortunate mistake of claim-          The 79th Academy Awards this             Truth, featuring Gore was named            Americans are on a desperate hunt       est, appears to be distancing himself
ing to have created the Internet. He     past Sunday sealed it.                     best documentary, and his pres-            for leaders. They look in places like   from politics for the time being, and
married a woman named Tipper.              Next to Martin Scorsese taking           ence at the event undoubtedly              Hollywood, which is full of hypo-       has miraculously managed to shed
He lost the controversial 2000           home the award for best direc-             furthered the Academy’s decision           crites. They are rightly skeptical      his duller-than-oatmeal exterior,
presidential election —which             tor, no ovation was greater than           to ‘go green’ this year. Many stars        of network news, so they look to        putting forth a relaxed and genu-
wasn’t necessarily his fault—and         when Gore took the stage. He               arrived in Hybrid cars instead of the      Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert         inely entertaining core.
then he grew a beard (something I        and Hollywood A-lister Leonardo            usual gas-guzzling limousines.             for answers. The Dixie Chicks              In a unique time in American
wouldn’t consider a mistake).            DiCaprio shared one of the most               While the movie folk were more          learned the hard way that when          history, Al Gore is a unique
   Despite the stumbles, Gore            memorable skits of the night and           than happy to have their photos            your core audience lives in ‘red        leader. One who has the chance to
is enjoying an astonishing and           host Ellen DeGeneres proved,               taken in front of their Priuses, the       states’ the best thing to do is “Shut   be both powerful and profound,
unprecedented rise in esteem. The        although seven years removed,              fact they flew into Los Angeles on          up and sing.”                           creating tangible change in a
biggest loser in American history        jokes about the 2000 election are          private planes that turn the sky a            There are no real leaders in the     troubled country.




Screaming infidelities
                                         disclose their dirty little secrets.       and more interested in meeting             “These urges served a purpose           partner. However, it is another rea-
                                            According to counsellor Janis           men, even if they were already in a        in ancient times, when a man’s          son for us to take the time to under-
     Fiona McLay                         Abrahms Spring in After the Affair,        relationship. This particular finding       scruffy good looks conferred an         stand our bodies and biological
Carnal Knowledge                         affairs affect one of every 2.7 couples.   interestingly coincides with some          evolutionary advantage to a woman       processes. If you are experiencing
                                         Ten per cent of extramarital affairs       estimates that about two to four per       who wanted the strongest offspring      a strong desire to stray from your
                                         are one time only, 10 per cent occur       cent of pregnancies are the result of      possible.”                              current relationship, examine when
                                         more than once, but last less than a       a one-time fling or affair.                    Haselton’s study is no excuse for    and under what circumstances these
   Type “infidelity” into a Google        month, 50 per cent last longer than           So while a woman may fall for the       infidelity, and claiming that ovula-     feelings occur before you embark
search and you will find count-          a month but less than a year and 40        nerdy type, her reproductive urges         tion took the wheel will not stand as   on something that you and your
less sites devoted to supporting         per cent last two or more years. Few       favor the masculine, regardless of         a reasonable defense to any betrayed    partner may regret.
victims of affairs as well as aiding     extramarital affairs tend to persist       whom she may be involved with.
them in discovering their partner’s      longer than four years.                       “Women have a biology that can
betrayals.                                  Over the years, interest in this        lead them to stray,” says Haselton
   Interestingly, more and more of       field has grown, likely paralleling
these sites are dedicated to under-      the ever-increasing divorce rate in
standing why women cheat and
how their partners can catch them.
Throughout history, men’s infidel-
                                         North America. Few however have
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12 MARCH 01.07 GAUNTLET OPINIONS

                                                                                                                                    SU View:
Do the C-Train shuffle                                                                                                      Global conflict hits campus
                                                                                                                             By Julie Labonte                          Along with the forums, students can
                                                                                                                             No, the University of Calgary is       also take part in a number of interac-
                                                                                                                          not in danger of attack. Instead,         tive events. On March 6th look for our
                                                                                                                          in early March, the Students’ Union       Genocide reality check activity all over
                                                                                                                          will host a variety of opportunities      campus. This will be followed by a
                                                                                                                          for students to learn more about          vigil at 3:30 in the MacEwan Student
                                                                                                                          international conflict, genocide,         Centre North Courtyard. Join us to
                                                                                                                          the difficulties of attaining peace        reflect and learn about the tragedies
                                                                                                                          and ways you can get involved to          of Genocide, and send a letter to the
                                       Coupled with last year’s 25 cent hike    health care and education, but pro-       create positive change.                   Prime Minister about the importance
                                       on fares, from $2 to $2.25, Calgarians   vincial infrastructure is definitely a        From March 5-7th we will be            of Canada being a true global leader
                                       would be asked to pay more for a         priority, as shown by the $1 billion      holding Political Action Week 2.          for peace. On March 7th, learn the
                          Ryan Pike    lower-quality service. The Calgary       in infrastructure grants ear-marked       The three day event is designed to        difference between the government
                       Couch Potato    Transit website lists C-Train capac-     in the current budget.                    raise awareness of past and current       decision makers and our soldiers’
                                       ity at approximately 160 persons per        What’s even more mind-boggling         global issues and the international       responsibilities. The Military Family
                                       car, at peak times often exceeding       about the move is how it comes as         role Canada plays, could play or should   Resource Centre and the Department


T
        here are plenty of things to   that figure. Cramming another 50          the city of Calgary is about to receive   play as a global leader in peace and      of National Defence will also be on
        hate about the C-Train. It’s   bodies into them won’t entice more       an additional 40 cars, increasing its     mediation.                                hand with information and displays
        often late, costs too much     ridership and would likely have the      fleet by over 33 per cent. Coupled            Each day is themed offering a          including a mine awareness compo-
and is filled with people you would     opposite effect. When public trans-      with the widely-publicized plans          variety of events and displays that       nent. There will also be opportunities
avoid like the plague if you could     portation is more of a necessity than    to extend trains to four cars and         all members of the campus commu-          to send a letter or “video postcard”
afford a car. Alderman Ric McIver      ever—given Calgary’s traffic grid-        expand stations, the move seems           nity are invited to check out. March      to our Canadian troops.
has pinpointed another thing he        lock and downtown parking short-         like putting a bandage on a bullet        5th is Peace vs. War Day, March 6th is       The three days have been designed
hates about the C-Train: sitting.      ages—any move that discourages           wound—completely inadequate,              Speak Out Against Genocide Day and        to foster informed and critical debate
   In an effort to cram even more      transit use is a poor one.               and illogical, since we’re capable        March 7th is Military Awareness Day.      with the hope of contributing to the
people into the city’s already over-      Given Albertans’ status as oil-rich   of stitching it up.                       There will be an expert panel held        formation of involved and informed
crowded public transportation          technocrats, there’s a conception           Calgary Transit’s mission state-       each day in the MacEwan Student           citizens.
system, McIver and the rest of city    that Alberta has money bubbling          ment is “To provide safe, accessible      Centre’s Terrace Lounge (by the Coffee       For more information or to
council this week voted six to four    out of the ground to be spent on         and courteous public transportation       Company and Tim Horton’s). March          volunteer please contact me at
to investigate removing the majority   anything. While this image isn’t         services in response to the needs of      5th will discuss “Canada’s Place in       suvpext@ucalgary.ca. Check out
of seats from C-Train cars. McIver     exactly accurate, recent figures have     our customers.” When the provincial       International Conflict”. March 6th the     www.su.ucalgary.ca for a detailed
estimates taking out the seats would   put the upcoming budget surplus          surplus is this large, there’s no rea-    U of C Model UN Team will be doing        listing of Political Action Week
add an additional 50 passengers per    at around $7 billion, enough to          son why the city should think about       a UN Security Council on Sudan, and       events.
car and increase system efficiency.     buy 1,750 new train cars at $4 mil-      spending money to worsen services         March 7th we will discuss “Whatever
   Unfortunately, city council’s       lion each. There certainly are other     instead of getting money from the         Happened to Peacekeeping”. Forums            The SU View is printed without editorial
                                                                                                                                                                    revision and does not reflect the views of the
move may have the opposite effect.     things to spend the surplus on, like     province to improve them.                 run from 12-1:30 pm each day.                     Gauntlet Publications Society.
three lines free
After a week of either extreme              Vigil of Remembrance for Victims of                                                   A L B E R TA    H E R I TA G E    F O U N D AT I O N    F O R
                                                                                                                                                                                                       GAUNTLET MARCH 01.07

                                                                                                                                                                                                  M E D I C A L    R E S E A R C H
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      13


relaxation or unimaginable stress,          Genocide. Join us Tues., Mar. 6, 3:30 p.m.
everyone’s back to work. Too bad            in the Mac Hall North Courtyard.
those giant papers and final exams              -Political Action Week 2, Peace and
                                                                                                                                                            2007
seem a lot closer this side of reading
week. Unwind by reading this week’s
TLFs, there are two pages! Bring
your TLF to MSC 319 or e-mail them
to tlfs@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca. All
submissions must include your name,
ID number, phone number and signa-
ture. Submissions judged to be sexist,
racist, homophobic or attacks of a per-
sonal nature will not be printed.
                                            WANTED: HEAD and JR. SWIM
                                            COACHES for Glenmore Seals
                                            Club, Sept. 2007-Apr. 2008. See
                                            www.glenmoreseals.com. Please
                                            apply by March 15.

                                            Hey G-Day, if you make one more bad
                                                                                  War




                                            pass on me I might let you in.... or take
                                                                                           media                                                               f e l l o w s h i p
                                                                                                                                                                    Put your
                                                                                                                                                                                                         p r o g r a m
                                            you out again :P
Keep your chin up sseT and get some
sleep even Ninjas need their sleep.
                                                  -T-Dribbles, and the rest of the
                                                                     gorup 1 guys
                                                                                                                                                                   knowledge of science
                                -UNG                                                                                                                                                 to work this summer!
                                            To the kay-fed wannabe strolling




                                                                                           Application deadline: March 16, 2007
                                                                                                                                      Application forms
Who would’ve thought Ty Conklin             through info-commons... that “bitch”
would get a chance to ruin the Stan-
ley Cup Finals for another team. Poor
Buffalo.
                                            from the den that night says your nike
                                            air maxes are out of style.
                                                                 -shoe aficionado
                                                                                                                                      available at:

                                                                                                                                      Career Services
                                                                                                                                                                   T  he Alberta Heritage Foundation for Medical Research (AHFMR)
                                                                                                                                                                      Media Fellowship Program gives one undergraduate or graduate
                                                                                                                                                                   university student at an Alberta university the chance to help a
                                                                                                                                      Undergraduate                local media outlet communicate science and health news to the
WANTED: A single ticket to the Snow         My lungs are full of mucus.
Patrol concert at Mac Hall. One ticket!                                      -Sick girl                                               Studies office,              public. Preference will be given to students who have a strong
Is that too much to ask? Will pay top                                                                                                                              biomedical science background.
                                                                                                                                      Faculty of Engineering
dollar.                                     Free Vertigo Theatre tickets for par-
 [Top dollar is good, but your contact      ticipants in focus group on theatre                                                       Office of the                Excellent writing, communication, and interpersonal skills
         info might be more practical.      attendance. Ages 25–35.                                                                                                are a must for this challenging 12-week summer internship.
                                                                                                                                      Faculty of Science
                             -Bald Ed]                    -dladamss@ucalgary.ca
                                                                                                                                      Research office,             Students must plan to continue their university studies in fall
Make the world a better place, punch        Hey douche-bag; the university offers
                                                                                                                                      Faculty of Medicine          2007 in any discipline.
a smoker in the face.                       much more than the gym. Put down
           -war: a smokefree Calgary        the ‘roids and pick up a book.                                                            AHFMR (780-423-5727)         For more information or an application form
                                                          -Butterknife Subincision
Harvey, Thanks for showing up 15 min-                                                                                                                              check the AHFMR website at:
utes late to lunch with the students to     Dr. Ellard, Studies show a statistically
discuss our issues. You must really value
our time and what we have to say.
                                            significant correlation between your fly-
                                            ing formulas and our flying hormones.
                                                                                                                                                                   www.ahfmr.ab.ca
                                            *r*=.99, *p*<.0001.
To the Rathje Sisters: Have You no                                    -PSYC312 <3
                                                                                                                                                                   bridging the gap between scientists and the media
Shame? Waaah, Waaaah, Waaaaaaah,
I’m Todd.                                   Yo dude its time to back off; the girl
                          -Kaboom           obviously doesn’t love you. Besides
                                            no one likes a stalker!
Dr. Young, forget about footy. ManU                              -concerned friend
vs. Liverpool in a paper, scissors, stone
match=Predictions?                          Dear Marshall Isoarislato - I will be on
                                    -DJM    stage singing emo songs for you at the
                                            Palomino this week. You will wish you
Somebody took a video of two girls          could get into these skinny pants...
making out @ the den (Thurs. before                -Singer/Songwriter of Rhetoric
reading week). Would like to see a
copy.                                       Only you can prevent NRG waste.
        -one of the girls in the video      Capiton Planette says try to turn your
                                            lights off for energy conservation
To the boy in ANTH203 Du bist ein           month in rez.
Arschloch                                                       -Capiton Planette

Tues Men’s & Women’s volleyball:            Roses are red, pickles are bumpy. It’s
Thanks for finishing early and helping       about that time to get all humpy humpy!
to put everything away. Enjoy your          (Porn Star Cab tix on sale in Mac Hall,
15%(only) discount at the Den!              Mar. 19–23!!)
  -A ref whose buses come every 1/2            -Love your UofC Snowboard Club
                                 hour
                                            Weatherbee, will you bee Wally’s
Y’all should come watch the lady Dinos      Valentine next year?
win the national volleyball champion-
ship. Sexy time!                            PERMANENT EXTENSIONS WITH NO
                                            DAMMAGE!!New Technology, Real
“Election SWAT” was brilliant. It saved     Human Hair, Style how you wish, From
me from sending you guys the letter I’ve    $300+, last 3 Months CALL 875-8206
been writing in my head since seeing        for quote/consult
so many pitiful posters.
                                 -Grant     Get involved! Volunteer at the Centre
                                            for International Students and Study
How do you love your trees? Check out:      Abroad for 2007–08 academic year!
Hug that Tree on F*%$B##^.                  Deadline: Mar. 16, 2007.
          -Promiscuous Tree Hugger                        -www.ucalgary.ca/cissa/
                                                              volunteerapplication
Moustache March is upon us! Sport
your nose neighbour with pride, and         To “Lonely VM fan”; I’d aspire to be your
look upon others with admiration.           Echolls, but I’m probably more like the
Beards off by the 15th!                     kid who thought his father is dead... Still,
                     -Herr Handlebar        I thought I’d give you the option!
                                                     -Also Lonely, New to VM but
To Doro, I’m sure you have a market,                                        hooked!
you just have to keep looking—super-
store isn’t bad.                            Campus Crusade for Cthulhu is still
                              -Waffle        accepting members! Mwahahaha
                                             -ucalgary.facebook.com/group.php?
fully furnished, three bdrm condo for                          gid=2230395995
rent internet/utilites/phone $1800/
month may to aug- $1500 DD by april 1       Writing the MCAT? I am giving away
email ndfootball_62@hotmail.com             my MCAT prep books and unused
                                            “1001 Questions” practice books. E-
Here’s your valentine Mr W, now             mail freemcatbooks@hotmail.com if
where’s mine sukka?                         you could use them.
                           -UNG
                                            To all the people who voted in the SU
Need a study break? Head to Mac Hall        elections... Thanks!
for some 24-Hour FOOSBALL hosted                                        -Kat Lord
by the ladies of Alpha Omicron Pi. Fifty
cents/game; all proceeds going towards      Turn the page! There are more TLFs
arthritis research.                         on page 14.
14 MARCH 01.07 GAUNTLET

Dear my friend who is waiting. Here is       Cloey is my cat,
                                                                                                                        three lines free
                                                                                       Send a letter or video postcard to         lost econ201 text, me sad email             3 on 3 basketball tournament Mar. 10 in
your TLF. Your sister’s buns were nice,      He sits on his cat tree.                  our troops overseas. Visit the Military    kbui@ucalgary.ca reward: 1 smile            the Red Gym. Call 220-7749. Deadline to
but I had better. Den Thursday?              He’s fluffy, not fat,                      Family Resource Centre and NUTV on                                                     register: Mar. 8. For more information,
                               -Marco        I love him, but I have to force him to    Wednesday in the Mac Hall foyer.           Goodbye Captain Mullet, your glorious       email imsrec@ucalgary.ca
                                             love me...                                  -Political Action Week 2, Peace and      head of hockey hair will be missed :’(
Come learn about Vermicompost-                                                                                            War                                                 Build the hype! Mar.22, Little Gallery.
ing! Thur., Mar. 8 @ 4 p.m. Check            I like ladybugs on my shirt and on my                                                                                            Original works by Danny Kirk.
                                                                                                                                  If your hat got taken by some
the EcoClub Blog for all the details.        windowsill.                               Pthelo tinted with white is my new
                                                                                                                                  drunk girl (me) at the Den on               There’s something going on on Tues-
          -www.ucalgary.ca/ecoclub            [Whatever, as long as they’re not the    purple.
                                                                                                                                  Feb. 15 email a description to              days at the Den! Brought to you by
                                                                     kind that bite.
                                                                                                                                  stoleyourhat@hotmail.com and I’ll           the U of C Swing Dance Club: Swing,
I was always told never work real hard,                                  -Bagel Ed]    “Free people will set the course of his-
                                                                                                                                  give it back to you.                        Jazz and Blues DJ’ed music at the
I’d always be a sucker and my life would                                               tory and free people will make this an
pass me. Take a minute to stop and listen,   It’s almost spicy noodle time! When’s     age of progress and liberty. I’m a’head                                                main stage.
not everything you do has reason.            spicy noodle time? When I can’t breathe   to Crawford after tonight.”                FOR SALE: 1991 Volvo 740 Wagon                                         -UC-SDC
                   -Ahead of the game        out of my nose anymore. SPICY!                                   -Geoge W. Bush      (blue), Automatic, Gas, Fully loaded!
                                                                                                                                  New Snow/Summer tires on rims,              Part 2 of 4. Why nice guys finish last:
                                                                                                                                  AM/FM CD stereo, excellent running          Women complain about jerks, but
                                                                                                                                  condition, 305,000 kms, $3800 o.b.o.,       seem to enjoy dating them! What is
                                                                                                                                  Phone: 240-4545                             that about?
                                                                                                                                                                                        -proveuswrong@gmail.com
                                                                                                                                  Hey Mike, don’t worry I’ll be sure to
                                                                                                                                  hold you accountable.                       You saw the sport when you were
                                                                                                                                                                   -DK        in Australia, now come play Aussie
                                                                                                                                                                              Rules Football here in Calgary this
                                                                                                                                  Your ignorance and expectance of some-      summer. No experience necessary.
                                                                                                                                  body else to provide will always hold you   Visit www.calgarykangaroos.ca for
                                                                                                                                  back. Grow up. Cut the cord. Get your       more details.
                                                                                                                                  facts straight and then we’ll talk.
                                                                                                                                            -Won’t play mommy anymore         Hey JB, apparently you can’t go
                                                                                                                                                                              around treating strangers like shit
                                                                                                                                  Here’s your valentine Mr W, now             and then expect to win an election.
                                                                                                                                  where’s mine sukka?                         Who knew? Ass.
                                                                                                                                                             -UNG
                                                                                                                                                                              To the girl sitting on the bus right now,
                                                                                                                                  I refuse to vote for people who advertise   Look up! My name’s Danny.
                                                                                                                                  on blackboards. What; the election is
                                                                                                                                  over!! Oh well, looks like apathy won       To the red-head in COMS, Congrats,
                                                                                                                                  this election; again.                       you proved you’re not as stupid as I
                                                                                                                                                               -thedrewskii   thought.
                                                                                                                                      [If you’re so apathetic, why did you
                                                                                                                                    feel the need to share your thoughts      That’s the price of letting your
                                                                                                                                                       with everyone else?    imagination have a conversation with
                                                                                                                                                                 -Bagel Ed]   someone.
                                                                                                                                                                                                            -Owen
                                                                                                                                  Why are we lucky to live in Canada?
                                                                                                                                   -Political Action Week 2, Peace and        Kate, leave my remote control car alone
                                                                                                                                                                   War        or I’ll veto your screaming infidelities
                                                                                                                                                                              headline. And I’ll kick your ass.
                                                                                                                                  She’s hungry... because she’s a winner!                               -Beauchamp
                                                                                                                                                                    -Pike
                                                                                                                                                                              Rory likes to masturbate because he’s
                                                                                                                                  A giant ladybug wearing a suit and          ugly and no one else will look at him.
                                                                                                                                  carryng a suitcase... and no drugs?                                          -Rory
                                                                                                                                  Yeah right.
                                                                                                                                                                              You know Wayne, if your not careful,
                                                                                                                                  CMMB 451 brought us two single              you’re gonna lose me.
                                                                                                                                  strands together. Now you’ve dena-                           -Buyer of gun racks
                                                                                                                                  tured us by throwing NaOH on our
                                                                                                                                  relationship.                               What the fuck is the internet?!?!?!?
                                                                                                                                                  -Really lonely primer                            -Mooby’s regular
15 MARCH 01.07 GAUNTLET
Editor: Ændrew Rininsland—aendrew@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca                                                                                                                                                web
                                                                                    Fear, loathing, and Stumbleupon
                                                      to turn the children of America                                                                                                    Stumble #4:
                                                      into perverts, clawing at the very                                                                                        Wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_
                                                      fabric of all that is good and holy                                                                                              unusual_deaths
                                                      left in society.
                         Ændrew Rininsland                                                                                                                                         In a turn for the worse,
                          Production Editor              There was only one course of                                                                                           Stumbleupon deposited me on the
                                                      action left to me. After a call to my                                                                                     Wikipedia entry for “List of unusual
Editor’s Note: Ændrew came across a copy of           400 pound Korean network admin-                                                                                           deaths.” Was it a sign of things to
Hunter S. Thompson’s “Generation of Swine”            istrator, who assured me none of my                                                                                       come? The grotesque reality of
during reading break and as such, his writ-           traffic would be logged, I loaded my                                                                                       Chrysippus, who died in 207 bc
ing style — for the moment anyway — is that           laptop full of illicit Joy Division                                                                                       from laughter after, quote, “watch-
obnoxious pseudo-gonzo style that every college       mp3s and set for the darkest corner                                                                                       ing his drunken donkey eat figs” was
writer adopts for at least one piece in his career.   of Mac Hall. With a deep breath                                                                                           not lost on me, nor was that of the
Our prayers are with Mr. Rininsland and we wish       and eyes filled with fear, I clicked                                                                                       famous Mr. Jack Daniel, who died
him a speedy recovery.                                “Stumble.”                                                                                                                from blood poisoning after kicking
                                                                                                        Stumble # 2:                  something that wouldn’t haunt my          his combination safe in frustration. I
   “HOLYFUCK. It’s like visual kei                              Stumble #1:                         RogueGovernment.com               dreams. A simple game, left arrow         brooded on the thought of consum-
is cosplayinh a fat person.”                           ThingsThatMakeYouGoAah.com                                                     makes the wheel go left, right arrow      ing much of Mr. Daniel’s legacy after
   --Anonymous 4chan.org poster,                                                                 The Internet is an echo chamber      makes the wheel go right. Collect the     all this was through.
/cgl/ channel                                           Having a head full of bad nerves      for freaks and paranoids of all         drums and stars. Yet, an hour later
                                                      and seeing a kitten stuck into a milk   stripes. With no sane person in sight   I had scarcely made a dent in its six              Stumble #5:


I
     t was 9 p.m. on a Wednesday                      bottle while listening to “She’s Lost   to reaffirm their faith in the inher-    levels. I looked at my clock: 22:30.      Anomalies-Unlimited.com/Odd_
     night, when The Fear began to                    Control Again” is enough to make        ent goodness of modern man, they           “Ye gods,” thought I, “soon they’ll              Pics.html
     take hold...                                     even the most sane man choke on         quickly succumb to a state of fear,     be coming with whips and those
                                                      his own saliva. A shiver travelled      where the rules of common sense         chemical interrogation methods              Yet still nothing could have pre-
   Two pages of Web. Dear God, two                    the course of my body, not a typi-      no longer apply. They become delu-      you only see on 24 if only to coax an     pared me for the horror that was
pages?! What did these animals take                   cal mid-winter chill, but the full-     sional, anti-social. Nowhere is this    article from my fevered brain. They’ll    Anomalies-Unlimited.com. Alien
me for?! The Internet isn’t interest-                 on psychosomatic reverberation          more true than the 9⁄11 conspiracy      take a finger-nail until I churn out       sightings, severe eyelid edema,
ing enough to fill two pages! Or at                    of a junkie deep in heat-stroke.        community. Or is it?                    800 words and five screenshots. Then       mouths removed from the stomachs
least, not the sort of Internet suited                Travelling further down, one finds          I click “Stumble” again.             they’ll stick me into that closet filled   of children... Ye gods, when would
for a family newspaper. One could                     pictures entitled “Siberian Husky”                                              with cat-5, where many a strong           this madness end?
write books on the depravity that                     and “Barky the wonder-squirrel.”                      Stumble #3:               geek hath perished. Did I just say          Then Firefox crashed.
is 4chan, that filthy hive of evil and                 More like, “ThingsThatMakeYou                 wone.seantcooper.com              that out loud?”
                                                                                                                                                                                    Have your own Stumbleupon adventure!
debauchery, and still have enough                     GoAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH                       Finally, it seemed I had come upon       I stumble forth.                               http://www.stumbleupon.com!
material left over to convince every                  HHHOHMYGODMAKEITSTO
senator from California to Rhode                      P.com”.
Island that computers exist solely                      I click “Stumble” again.
                                                                                                                                                               GAUNTLET WEB MARCH 01.07 16



Troubleshooting checklist part two!
   In retrospect, printing half a tech        2. Can you get to a command-           Checklist #4: Failure after os          spyware programs. If you’re using       scan before the os starts. This may
support diagnostics pattern the            line (Windows)? – If you can                         Initialization               Windows, go to Start, Run, and type     repair the os enough to boot if a virus
issue before reading break prob-           get to a command-line, you can              1. Can you boot into safemode?        in “msconfig”. Click the “Startup”       is involved. Check your anti-virus
ably wasn’t the most effective way         probably at least salvage some of         Same step as Checklist #3-1. Press f8   tab and disable anything that’s not     software’s documentation.
of doing things. Well, hindsight’s         your files. In the dialogue box that       while Windows is loading (Shift in      needed. Reboot.                            3. Reinstall the os – But before you
20⁄20, so here’s the second half for       comes up when f8 is pressed, try          os x), boot into safemode, try and        2. Run a virus scan from boot.        do, try the third tip from Checklist
those still waiting for checklists 3 and   “Command Line with Network                figure out what’s preventing it         – Most anti-virus programs allow        #3. Some data may be recoverable
4. Web apologizes to anyone who            Support.” Hopefully a happy               from booting. Run anti-virus and        the install cd to be used as a way to   before the reformat.
actually needed the full checklist         little prompt will come up saying
two weeks ago.                             “C:\>”. Try typing “dir” and press-
   Furthermore, go to this article         ing enter. If it lists directory con-
on gauntlet.ucalgary.ca to find a          tents, likely you can just reinstall
printer-friendly pdf version of all        Windows without a reformat.
four lists.                                   3.Can you see any files? – Using
 Checklist #3 : Initialization Fails       another computer, download and
   1. Can you get in via safemode?         burn a copy of Knoppix, then
– All versions of Windows can be           backup your files to cd or dvd.
entered into safemode, a diagnostics       This is a more advanced step, for
version where all but the most criti-      a full tutorial, see: lifehacker.com/
cal drivers are disabled, by pressing      software/disk-recovery/geek-to-
f8 during os initialization. A similar     live--rescue-files-with-a-boot-cd-
mode can be accomplished in Mac            192982.php.
os x by holding down shift. If you            4. Reinstall the os. – If all impor-
can get into this mode, it means at        tant data is backed up, it may be
the very least you can backup some         easier at this point to simply refor-
of your files.                              mat and reinstall.




       Think hard. Year round?
     Continue your studies this Spring and Summer at U of C.




     UCALGARY.CA
entertainment                                                                                                                                                GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT MARCH 01.07 17
                                                                                                                                                                                   Editor: Kyle Francis—entertainment@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca




Gandhi wasn’t really into propaganda
P r o p a g a n d h i                      ever gonna just lay down a bunch
                                           of stock metal riffs and call that an
m u s i c i n t e r v i e w                album.”
                                              Despite having undergone such
Kevin De Vlaming                           changes to their lineup and musical
Gauntlet Entertainment                     tone, the band’s purpose remains the
                                           same. The idea is to spread counter-


W
             ho’d have thought eigh-       cultural awareness through music
             teen years ago, when          they enjoy playing, with a particular
             Chris Hannah and Jord         focus on encouraging critical think-
Samolesky first decided to inject a         ing about contemporary politics and
little critical consciousness into a       present global concerns.
then-politically-stagnant Winnipeg            “There’s so much attention-grab-
music scene, that they’d still be striv-   bing apolitical music being created to
ing to bring responsible politics to       fill the gaps in our culture,” says Jord
the masses nearly two decades later?       Samolesky, drummer and founding
Of course, Propagandhi has seen its        member. “I feel there’s an overload,
share of change along the way. For         and to tell you the truth I’m not really
starters, bassist John K. Samson was       interested in any of it.”
replaced in 1996 by Todd ‘the Rod’            In Propagandhi’s view, the chang-
Kowalski, and recently, Dave ‘the          ing musical landscape has sent mixed
Beav’ Guillas was added as a second        messages to fans of the punk rock acts
guitarist.                                 which now saturate the mainstream.
   “I think he picked that name up         “Punk rock” is a term which used to
’cause when he was a kid he looked         be synonymous with rebellion, and
a bit like a beaver,” says Kowalski.       now largely represents a group of
“He’s been a friend of ours for a while    artists still singing the same battle
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            courtesy G7 records
now. We liked the way that he makes        hymns, yet failing to act on the
songs, and we liked his guitar playing,    messages they send.                         Propagandhi are just about to do something politically active. Any minute now...
and now with another person on stage          “It’s really weird seeing bands
we have a fuller sound.”                   like Sum 41 saying that if it wasn’t        a bunch of lame sponsors,” says                   around things like punkvoter.com is             ing out new material for a release
   Propagandhi’s sound has also            for Vans Warped Tour they wouldn’t          Kowalski. “It seems uninteresting,                focused on it all being about this one          in the hopefully not-too-distant
evolved over the years. The brand          exist,” says Samolesky. “That’s where       and the exact opposite of anything                moment in time where you cast this              future. The band plans on taking
of anarcho-skate-punk which put            they first got exposed to this sort of       that sounds fun or good.”                         vote between these two bought-out               the summer to work on some new
them on the map with 1993’s How to         music. To me, that’s like a nail in            The band maintains that for many               parties,” says Samolesky. “Then when            ideas, hoping to have a more tan-
Clean Everything has been revamped         the coffin.”                                 acts on the Warped Tour, the priority             you don’t get the results you want, it’s        gible idea by September about a
into the heavier, thrash rock sound           He points out that a quick perusal       of business interests has superceded              all, ‘Oh we lost. Well we tried, back to        release date.
found on their 2005 release, Potemkin      of the Warped Tour sponsors’ list           the creativity and integrity of the               having fun and playing shows.’ The                 “We have a history of creating
City Limits.                               reveals such big business enter-            music. The heavy entrepreneurial                  vote is one day of the year—with                abstract deadlines and then failing
   “We don’t set out to try and            prises as Dodge and Mastercard.             emphasis exhibited by Fat Wreck                   all of the grassroots organizations             miserably at them,” says Samolesky.
play metal,” says Kowalski. “We            Propagandhi has always kept its             Chords is another example Jord                    available to join and help campaign             “So I wouldn’t want to put a timeline
just all grew up listening to thrash,      distance from the yearly fiasco,            provides of this trend, dismissing                for change, what do you do with the             on it. But hopefully it won’t be an
and if you’re going to try and play        citing distaste for it on account of        proactive political initiatives by                rest of those four years?”                      ‘every five years’ sort of deal.”
interesting riffs that are punchy and      blatant hypocrisy.                          label founder Fat Mike as being                      As for what Propagandhi is up
                                                                                                                                                                                          Propagandhi play Fri., Mar. 2 at the MacEwan Hall
powerful like that, it’s going to sound       “It’s just a bunch of shitty bands       simply not enough.                                to with the rest of their time, a                ballroom. Materials for the construction of George
metal-flavoured. It’s not like we’re        playing a shitty atmosphere for                “It seems like all of the energy               large chunk of it is spent grind-                       Bush effigies are available at Rona.




A rose by any other name would suck as bad
                                                                                                                      The first thought that comes to mind when             American Pie and Van Wilder.
                                                                                                                   watching the opening scene—of two dudes                    On the other hand, the film is way more
                                                                                                                   getting it on in a kind of bad porno-foreplay           explicit than even the “unrated” versions of its
                                                                                                                   dialogue—is a strange blend of open-mind-               hetero counterparts, with several counts of full-
                                                                                                                   edness, culture shock and mild dread, not so            frontal nudity. A person with less class might
                                                                                                                   much because it’s two men having sex but                insert a joke about the climax of the movie, except
                                                                                                                   that the movie actually starts out like a bad           that the writers already made it, as the ex-gay
                                                                                                                   porno. The second thought is: “What the                 support group leader Jacob (Scott Vickaryous)
                                                                                                                   fuck?” as this turns out to be Gwen (Emily              climaxes all over his mom’s (Sarah Lilly) chest.
                                                                                                                   Brooke Hands) divulging her fantasy as a                It’s explicit—way more explicit than it’s quality
                                                                                                                   heterosexual woman to exclusively date and              warrants. Audiences looking for gay porn could
                                                                                                                   have sex with gay men.                                  probably find better offerings on the net and
                                                                               courtesy Fairy Tales film festival
                                                                                                                      This is a weird film. Not because it’s a gay one.     those looking for teen comedy are sure to be
All that matters now is that we’re naked and we’re friends.                                                        Gay isn’t weird. In a post-Brokeback world of           disappointed with the lack of laughs.
                                                                                                                   Ellen DeGeneres, Portia DeRossi, Rupert Everett,           Therein lies the real problem with Eating Out 2.
EatingOut2:S l o p p y S e c o n d s                 this year’s Fairy Tales gay and lesbian film
                                                     festival, Eating Out 2: Sloppy Seconds.
                                                                                                                   The L-Word and Queer as Folk, gay is almost
                                                                                                                   more acceptable than being straight. Gay’s fine.
                                                                                                                                                                           It’s not nearly funny enough to justify itself. At
                                                                                                                                                                           least Jason Biggs’ pie-fucking antics were bal-
f      i       l   m     r   e    v    i   e    w       Proud of being “the first American gay sequel               What’s weird is a film with detrimental identity         anced with some simple Eugene Levy humour.
                                                     ever”—apart from a number of releases by                      issues. On the one hand, Eating Out has the plot        Plus, quality is what ultimately separates a main-
Chris Tait                                           companies with names like Banana Boy Video,                   workings of a pretty standard mainstream com-           stream film from porn. Look at Basic Instinct.
Photo Editor                                         etc.—the film follows the frolics of newly-single              edy: the object of desire, a collection of peripheral   Sharon stone flashes her va-jay-jay and the sex
                                                     Kyle (Jim Verraros) as he tries to score with                 ideas that are mildly funny in and of themselves        scenes are long and drawn out, but because there
   If anyone has learned anything from               ripped nude artist model Troy (Marco Dapper)                  (like the ex-gay support group called “Coming           was some substance it got an Oscar nod. Eating
film sequels, it’s that if the first one             by pretending to be straight and joining an ex-               In”), a grand message to be learned, complete           Out, however, will be lucky if it gets relegated to
sucked, chances are the second one will              gay support group. Meanwhile, Kyle’s ex-boy-                  with a token black guy substitute embodied by           the soft-core rack in Blockbuster.
suck more.                                           friend, Marc (Brett Chuckerman) has his own                   a goth lesbian. The good guys and gals hook up
                                                                                                                                                                           The Fairytales gay and lesbian film festival kicks off Fri., May. 26 at
   Phillip J. Bartell and Q. Allan Brocka take       plans for Troy, and pursues him as his out-gay                and the bad ones get theirs. Even the lighting is                  the Uptown. More information is available at
this to a whole new level in their addition to       self. Which one will seduce Troy first?                        similar to glossy teen comedy productions like                             www.fairytalesfilmfest.com.
18 MARCH 01.07 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT




Double matriarchy
                                                                                                                  it comes out. It’s pretty natural
                                                                                                                  compositionally.”
                                                                                                                     Mother Mother may not con-
                                                                                                                  form to a single style of music,
                                                                                                                  but the songs do not come across
                                                                                                                  as sloppy ort convoluted. They
                                                                                                                  are executed with maturity and                                                    Mother Mother
                                                                                                                  precision. This is to be expected,                                                    Touch Up
                                                                                                                  however, from a group of profes-                                                    (Last Gang)
                                                                                                                  sionally trained musicians—every
                                                                                                                  member of Mother Mother studied                    In case the five-headed chicken on the cover
                                                                                                                  music at Vancouver Community                       of Touch Up wasn’t a clue enough, it will only
                                                                                                                  College.                                           take about a minute of listening to the album
                                                                                                                     “I enrolled in Vancouver                        to realize that Mother Mother is one twisted
                                                                                                                  Community College and studied                      team of musicians. The opening track
                                                                                                                  jazz guitar,” explains Guldemond.                  “Dirty Town” starts off like an alt-country
                                                                                                                  “The other members studied                         schoolyard chant, getting darker with each
                                                                                                                  under the jazz stream as well.                     repetition. After about 35 seconds, the chant
                                                                                                                  We all went at different times,                    mutates into something that wouldn’t sound
                                                                                                                  though.”                                           out of place on a Pixies record. Not even 10
                                                                                                                     The talented members of                         seconds into this idea, the band shifts their
                                                                                                                  Mother Mother are about to                         tone again to a hyperactive bluegrass style.
                                                                                                                  embark upon their biggest tour                     This one minute of music acts as a microcosm
                                                                                                                  yet, which will take them across                   for the album, accurately depicting the musical
                                                                                                                  Canada and to Texas as well.                       add that follows.

MotherM o t h e r                     acoustic trio. The album, entitled
                                      Touch Up, is an overdubbed ver-
                                                                           Mother. Touch Up steps outside
                                                                           the boundaries of genre frequently
                                                                                                                  Guldemond seems pleased about
                                                                                                                  the tour and shows little trepida-
                                                                                                                                                                     On Touch Up, Mother Mother perpetuates
                                                                                                                                                                     the idea that music does not have to be con-
m u s i c i n t e r v i e w           sion of the original release with    and repeatedly, allowing only          tion about the subject, though he                  fined to the bounds of genre. Rather than
                                      two new songs and new cover art      small moments of reprieve before       does have one small concern about                  sticking to one specific style, they borrow a
Darren Young                          featuring a vicious five-headed      switching gears again. It may be       travelling.                                        number of disparate stylistic elements and
Gauntlet Entertainment                chicken.                             easiest to describe Mother Mother         “We just bought this horrendous                 throw them together in a country-fried dish
                                        “The artwork on the first          as an indie rock band, but there       trailer,” reveals Guldemond. “The                  of indie rock, and garnish with jazz. There



A
        s the old saying goes, “the   album was similar,” says Ryan        are elements of folk, country, blue-   hitch is about as long as our van.                 would be less hyphens in Elizabeth Taylor’s
        only thing cooler than a      Guldemond, guitarist of Mother       grass, and even jazz on the record.    I’d say we’re about a 50-foot                      full last name than in the genre description
        three-headed chicken is       Mother. “With the two new mem-       Guldemond prefers eclecticism          operation, but nothing else is                     for Mother Mother. This may suggest that the
a five-headed chicken.”               bers we added two new chicken        rather than being confined to one      really scary.”                                     band sounds completely incoherent and unre-
   Fabricated or not, Vancouver       heads. It’s kind of like a twisted   style, and revels in the spontaneity      Barring any mishaps with said                   hearsed, but one listen to Touch Up proves
based alternative folk band Mother    graphic, and the music is kind of    of Mother Mother’s music.              trailer, Mother Mother looks to                    contrary to both statements. No matter how
Mother exemplify the meaning of       twisted, so it conveys this bent,      “I don’t think we want to con-       be prepared for a successful tour,                 random or strange the music gets, Mother
the adage, having just re-released    outside-of-the-box quality.”         form to a straight-up approach         which should bring them fame and                   Mother is cool and comfortable with their
their debut album as a five-piece       Twisted may be the best word       to one genre,” says Guldemond.         fortune across the land. As the old                approach to the chaos. This is why a country-
band as opposed to their original     to describe the music of Mother      “[The music] just comes out as         saying goes, the only thing cooler                 rocker like “Dirty Town” doesn’t sound out
                                                                                                                  than a five-headed chicken is a tour-              of place next to the dark “Polynesia” or the
                                                                                                                  ing five-headed chicken. Except                    quiet, half spoken “Angry Sea.”
                                                                                                                  possibly a touring five-headed                     By defying musical logic Touch Up is a suc-
                                                                                                                  Chicken composed entirely of                       cessful, intriguing album that has a whole lot
                                                                                                                  Guacamole, but that might just be                  to offer fans of many different styles of music.
                                                                                                                  asking too much.                                   It may be chaotic, but it’s wonderful at the
                                                                                                                                                                     same time, and may just be the best album
                                                                                                                   Touch Up is available wherever music is sold.
                                                                                                                  Five headed chickens are available in farms near
                                                                                                                                                                     by a Canadian band this year.
                                                                                                                                    Chrenobyl.                                                     ..Darren Young
                                                                                                                                                           GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT MARCH 01.07 19



Another zero for Schumacher
T h e N u m b e r 2 3                             neither the number nor the movie is
                                                  able to accomplish.
                                                                                              have struggled in the role given the
                                                                                              film’s premise. This is Madsen’s
f     i   l    m     r   e    v    i   e      w      Carrey deserves just as much             fate—unlike Carrey she can act, but
                                                  of the blame for the film’s failure.        doesn’t have much of an opportunity
Kenzie Love                                       He’s earned some acclaim for his            to do so in Schumacher’s abomination.
Gauntlet Entertainment                            skills as a comedian in recent years        Audiences are supposed to believe that
                                                  and even some real filmic clout             there’s something horrifying about the


H
            ere’s a coincidence: The              from The Eternal Sunshine of the            number 23, but as another character
            Number 23 is the twenty-              Spotless Mind. Unfortunately for the        astutely observes after Sparrow has
            third movie or television             movie-going public, The Number 23           become obsessed with it: “You’re
series Jim Carrey has appeared in since           reveals that he’s still pretty inept when   looking for 23, so you’re going to
1991. Okay, maybe it’s not, considering           he isn’t under Michel Gondry’s tutal-       find it.” It’s odd, but screenwriter       with a number—or anything else            the low end of the studio’s expecta-
he appeared in 15 of them before then,            age. At one point, his character Walter     Fernley Phillips seems to have built       that’s seemingly harmless—that it         tions, and some will no-doubt feel
but it’s strikingly similar to the absurd         Sparrow dreams that he finds his wife        his modus operandi into the dialouge       comes to dominate their life, but the     its subject had something to do
lengths Joel Schumacher goes to con-              Agatha (Virginia Madsen) lying dead         here. Why he chose this particular         film doesn’t explore this. Instead, it     with this dismal showing. In reality,
vince viewers that this is a number               in a pool of blood on their bed. It’s       number, God only knows, but he             suggests that while Walter may indeed     though, The Number 23 was likely
people should be worried about. The               clear that Walter’s supposed to be          probably could have done the same          be crazy, he’s entirely sane in fearing   cursed with nothing more nefarious
number 13, he believes, has terrorized            devastated at her discovery, but            with any other, with equally lacklus-      the number 23.                            than a lousy script and incompetent
western civilization too long: it’s 23            Carrey can only muster a put-off            tre results. Perhaps there’s something       According to the distribution chief     leading man.
that should be keeping people awake               expression.                                 kind of scary about the possibility that   for New Line, the film’s 15.1 million
at night. Sadly, that’s something that               Even a far greater actor would           a person could become so obsessed          dollar opening last weekend was at            The Number 23 is in theatres everywhere.




A train worth hopping on, kind of
JesusHoppedTheATrain                              has done right by a higher power than
                                                  the court’s system, is agnostic.
                                                                                              a high school gym filled with mis-
                                                                                              guided kids. It presents itself like
                                                                                                                                         murder. Company of Rogues actor
                                                                                                                                         Jesse Wheeler also gives a heartfelt
                                                                                                                                                                                   no depth to the character, instead
                                                                                                                                                                                   presenting him more as a caricature
t h e a t r e r e v i e w                            The story unfolds through con-           an extended collection of moral life       performance as the conflicted             than anything thought-provoking or
                                                  versations between Lucius Jenkins,          lessons reminding street kids that         Angel Cruz.                               worthwhile.
Kevin De Vlaming                                  the serial killer, Valdes, his sadistic     violence is not the answer, and the           The performance starts to deterio-        It’s no stretch to suggest that Jones
Gauntlet Entertainment                            guard, Angel Cruz, the young man            harsh portrayal of life on Riker’s         rate with the secondary characters.       and Wheeler provide the great-
                                                  being tried for the death of the cult       Island adds a complimentary ‘scared        Jill Belland, host of Citytv’s The        est incentive to catch the A Train,
   Jesus Hopped the A Train occurred              leader, and Mary Jane Hanrahan,             straight’ sort of vibe.                    City Show, puts on a laughably            though creative use of stage space
as the result of an unlikely mix of               Angel’s passionately determined                The quality of acting is mixed.         flimsy Brooklyn accent as Cruz’s          and inspired lighting also prevent
elements. The recipe: take one part               lawyer. The narrative takes well            Former cfl player Khari Jones              lawyer. Her interaction with Cruz         the production from fully tripping
former cfl player turned thespian,                over 120 minutes to present itself          gives the most convincing and poi-         would be borderline believable on         over its unwarranted length. It isn’t
one part local television personality             in full, and due to slow and often          gnant performance of the bunch             its own, however a fair portion of        so without merit as to warrant cruci-
dabbling in theatrics and a couple of             redundant dialogue, it actually feels       as the spiritually reformed Lucius         the play relies on soliloquies, which     fixion, but Jesus Hopped the A Train
producers borrowed from Ground                    even longer.                                Jenkins. Jones brings an undeni-           Belland sells unconvincingly. Dean        isn’t a play anyone should feel guilty
Zero Theatre and Hit & Myth pro-                     While the play doesn’t come off as       able charisma to the role, while still     Marinos also fails to properly acquire    about missing.
ductions, then mix liberally into                 preachy with its religious messages,        leaving audience members with the          the role of the embittered prison
                                                                                                                                                                                   Jesus Hopped the A Train plays at the Pumphouse
a base of aspiring Company of                     it certainly does give the impression       vaguely uneasy sense that Jenkins          guard, Valdez. Marinos, another           Theatre until Sat., Mar. 3. Though the performance
Rogues actors. The resulting play is              that the intended audience would be         is a man capable of cold-blooded           Company of Rogues veteran, lends                    may end, prisons are forever.
not unlike a sort of gruel, in that it’s
satisfying in its own way, yet it won’t
leave anyone particularly hungry for
another helping.
   The play is focused around two
inmates at Riker’s Island. One is a
jailed serial killer, the other a street-
wise young man who was involved
in the death of a religious cult leader.
The former has found comfort and
redemption in God, while the latter,
though stubbornly insistent that he


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20 MARCH 01.07 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT



                                                   spun                         ALBUM REVIEWS




                                                                                                        T     he country-folk sound of Great Lake Swimmers makes for great ambient
                                                                                                              music, if the desired mood involves drowsily discussing peace and the
                                                                                                        Canadian landscape while sitting around in a circle burning incense. This holds
                                                                                                        especially true for the band’s upcoming release, Ongiara, due out Mar. 27.
                                                                                                        Ongiara is the band’s third full-length album, as well as their first release
                                                                                                        on Nettwerk Records. It again showcases vocalist Tony Dekker’s ability to
                                                                                                        layer softly-sung verses of earthen metaphors over Erik Arneson’s somehow
                                                                                                        somber banjo. Folk fans might appreciate the musical craftsmanship which
                                                                                                        lends richness to the rolling melodies presented on Ongiara. However, tal-
                                                                                                        ent and some working knowledge of naturalist poetry does not make for an
                                                                                                        outstanding album.
                                                                                                        While they’ve been compared to such mainstays as Iron and Wine, the Ontario-
                                                                                                        based Swimmers fall short of capturing the soul-touching tone achieved by
                                                                                                        artists like Sam Beam or Elliot Smith. The reason is that the group has nothing
                                                                                                        of their own to offer, no edge or hint of greater depth to their music. Ongiara
                                                                                                        is a cut-and-paste folk album, with a body of tracks that flow smoothly, yet
                                                                               Great Lake Swimmers      yield few that stand on their own. A possible exception to this would be the
                                                                                            Ongiara     album’s opening track, “Your Rocky Spine,” an ode to the Rocky Mountains
                                                                                         (Nettwerk)     which could have been the title theme to Deliverance.
                                                                                                        As a purely aesthetic source of soft background melody, Ongiara makes for a
                                                                                                        decent listen. It also makes for excellent music to fall asleep to. Unfortunately,
                                                                                                        it’s difficult not to fall asleep to.
                                                                                                                                                                      ..Kevin De Vlaming




            Thank
                                                                                         East meets west in this unique collaboration       tally on his lap. Both players are virtuosos on
                                                                                         between Canadian blues guitarist Doug              their respective instruments and provide an
                                                                                         Cox and India’s veena player Salil Bhatt.          aural treat through their spontaneous jam-
                                                                                         The blending of such disparate elements            ming. Holding it all together is Ramkumar
                                                                                         as blues music and classical East Indian           Mishra’s dextrous tabla playing. His warm




              You
                                                                                         stylings is not as awkward sounding as one         sounding percussion adds the perfect contrast
                                                                                         might imagine.                                     to the abundant metallic sliding.
                                                                                         Although classical East Indian music is cen-       While the spirit and intent of this union
                                                                                         turies older than the blues, both forms are        is one of fusion, it comes across more as a
                                                                                         heavily reliant on self expression through         back and forth trip between the two genres.
                                                                                         improvisation. It’s the obvious differences        The few blues tunes feature East Indian
                                                                                         between the two styles, though, that make          accompaniment while the latter features
                                                              Doug Cox and Salil Bhatt   this disc successful.                              little or no blues elements. Slide To Freedom
                                                                    Slide To Freedom     Slide To Freedom is aptly titled, as Cox           will definitely go over smoother with fans of
                                                                    (NorthernBlues)      utilizes his slide prowess on his resophonic       East Indian music than it will to those seeking
                                                                                         guitars, while Bhatt slides his way around his     a hard-core blues fix.
                                                                                         20-stringed satvik veena which rests horizon-                                         ..Ken Clarke


                                                                                         While known by many—for good or                    of “O’Oh” or the Polyphonic Spree’s poppy
                                                                                         ill—Yoko Ono’s music can be both bril-             edition of “You and I,” every song manages
                                                                                         liant and utterly inaccessible, depending.         to not only be a fantastic song in itself, but
                                                                                         Her latest collaboration cum remix album,          also add to the original Yoko song it plays on.
                                                                                         Yes, I’m a Witch, is a collection of old Ono       Unfortunately, the weakest part of the album
                                                                                         songs redone by some of the largest bands          is in the source material itself; Yoko Ono’s
                                                                                         in indie rock, the only thing in common            voice just isn’t that enjoyable to listen to for
                                                                                         with the old tracks being Ono’s vocals.            long periods. A notable offender is in the
                                                                                         With acts like the Flaming Lips, Le Tigre,         minimalist pop of Antony’s “I’m Waiting
                                                                                         Peaches and Antony (of Antony and the              for a Boat.” While this is a minor quibble, it
                                                                                         Johnsons fame) Yes, I’m a Witch runs the           does detract from an otherwise fantastic col-
                                                                                         musical gamut. Despite the amount of dif-          laboration album that is a good entry-point

 TERYNN ANDERSON                                                             Yoko Ono
                                                                      Yes, I’m a witch
                                                                                         ferent artists and genres, there is not one
                                                                                         weak track on the album. Every song brings
                                                                                                                                            into a decades old back-catalogue of one of
                                                                                                                                            the most infamous women in music.
 formerly of Witchcraft Hairstyling                                    (Astralwerks)     something new to the table, whether it’s the                                  ..Jordyn Marcellus
 would like to thank all her friends                                                     cool trip-hop of Shitake Monkey’s version
 and clients at the U of C for their many
 years of patranoge, and invites them to                                                 Every metal fan knows at least one person who      riffs so difficult they would be challenging for
                                                                                         thinks their musical tastes are hard, that guy     an experienced player at half-tempo charac-
 come and see her at her new location.
                                                                                         who claims to listen to “heavy shit,” and his      terize the album. As a whole, Our Puzzling
                                                                                         shit is always heavier than yours. That new        Encounters Considered is an insanity-driven
                                                                                         band you like? Pussy garbage compared to           shredfest of epic proportions. Unfortunately,
                                                                                         this guy’s shit. His tastes only extend to the     its intensity may also be its downfall.
                                                                                         heaviest, harshest, most technical metal that      The band’s skill is unquestionable, but some-
                                                                                         exists. His life revolves around how extreme       times it seems like the whole purpose is to
                                                                                         his music is, and this directly correlates with    show just how great they are. Opportunities
                      Kensington. 277-9977                                               his superiority. Next time that pompous            for melodies and catchy riffs are sacrificed
     Tues: 10 - 5 Wed: 1 - 8 • Fri. & Sat: 9 - 5
                  •                                                                      metalhead gloats about how fucking “core”          so that Psyopus can show off for a few more
                                                                                         he is, laugh and knock him in the skull with       bars. This is a small blip on the screen, though,

 1/2 PRICE HAIRCUTS                                                          Psyopus
                                                   Our Puzzling Encounters Considered
                                                                                         Our Puzzling Encounters Considered.
                                                                                         Psyopus’ follow-up to their critically acclaimed
                                                                                                                                            compared with what Psyopus is offering: a
                                                                                                                                            skillfully written, intense metal experience.

 wednesdays in march                                                    (Metal Blade)    Ideas of Reference picks up where they left off,
                                                                                         pushing the boundaries of speed, technique
                                                                                                                                            You just have to wade through a sea of musical
                                                                                                                                            ejaculate to get there.
                                                                                         and metal in general. An interesting mix of                                        ..Chris Courtice
           with presentation of this ad
                                                                                         styles culminate in an offensive sound. Guitar
                                                                                                                                                GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT MARCH 01.07 21


Another killer Fincher flick
Director of Se7en impresses with
another serial murderer movie
Z       o        d       i       a       c   Fincher’s earlier work, which is
                                             logical given that it’s Fincher’s first
f   i    l   m       r   e   v   i   e   w                                      3
                                             period piece—ignoring Alien .
                                                Working with an impressive cast,
Ryan Pike                                    most of which have never worked
Gauntlet Entertainment                       with Fincher before, and a similarly
                                             fresh crew, Fincher has recreated


T
         o the average filmgoer, a           the mood of the period. The film’s
         director’s name carries             entire aesthetic is successfully lifted
         with it a load of expecta-          from the prototypical ’70s crime
tions. When a film is the latest             drama, straight down to music, cars
                                                                                                                                                                               courtesy Paramount Pictures
effort from the acclaimed director           and hairstyles. This commitment
of Fight Club and Se7en, it’s easy           to maintaining this consistency           Jake Gyllenhaal and Robert Downey Jr. are puzzled (see below).
to expect a combination of each of           actually serves the story, as one of


                                                                                                                                           Can you outsmart
those films. For those with more              the more memorable segments in            it’s a procedural crime drama,
tempered expectations, David                 the film showcases the difficulty in        there are some tedious investiga-
Fincher’s Zodiac is an impressive,           coordinating an investigation when        tion scenes that must be endured.
if lengthy, departure from his pre-          only the big-city police departments      In Zodiac, some are endured twice.
vious work.
    Based upon two books by Robert
Graysmith, Zodiac focuses on the
                                             have the good equipment and the
                                             small-town cops are forced to mail
                                             evidence to them.
                                                                                       After witnessing the police hit dead
                                                                                       ends while investigating a suspect,
                                                                                       Gyllenhaal spends a large chunk of
                                                                                                                                                a serial killer?
cat-and-mouse game between the                  Without a doubt, the strength          the second half of the film investi-                                       During the Zodiac killer investigations,
                                                                                                                                                                 the murderer sent several taunting letters
authorities and the infamous Zodiac          of the film is the cast. The film         gating him again in a more bor-                                           to the press—letters that contained four
Killer that terrorized California            revolves around either Gyllenhaal         ing way—reading police reports.                                           cryptograms like this one.
during the late ’60s and early ’70s.         or Ruffalo, and the duo is up             While these scenes do directly
                                                                                                                                                                 After they were printed in Bay Area
As bodies begin to pile up and cryp-         to the challenge. Joining them            lead to the final payoff scene, they                                       newspapers, one of the cyphers was
tic letters from the killer pour into        are a cavalcade of supporting             halt the momentum. Had Fincher                                            solved by a school teacher, though the
                                                                                                                                                                 other three remain mysteries even to law
the San Francisco Chronicle news-            players, from the scene-stealing          decided to trim these segments                                            enforcement.
room, crime reporter Paul Avery              Downey and the unrecognizable             slightly, Zodiac could’ve kept its
                                                                                                                                                                 The attached code is one of the unsolved
(Robert Downey Jr.) and editorial            Edwards to a bevy of name actors          steam without losing any critical                                         cyphers, and real evidence from the
cartoonist Robert Graysmith (Jake            in smaller roles: Elias Koteas and        story elements.                                                           case files. If, somehow, you’re able
Gyllenhaal) become more and                  Donal Logue are local cops, Philip           After making a series of films                                         to solve it, you’re urged to contact
                                                                                                                                                                 puzzle@zodiacmovie.com, though the Bay
more engrossed in the case. This             Baker Hall is a handwriting expert,       with cult followings—like Fight                                           Area athorities would probably appreciate
puts them alternately in cahoots             Chloe Sevigny is Gyllenhaal’s love        Club—Zodiac is Fincher’s stab                                             a ring as well. What the hell—if you can
                                                                                                                                                                 figure it out, send an email to
and in conflict with the two sfpd             interest, John Carroll Lynch is a         into the mainstream. While not                                            entertainment@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca,
detectives, David Toschi (Mark               suspect and Dermot Mulroney is            quite a masterpiece on the level                                          and we’ll think of some way to reward
                                                                                                                                                                 you too.
Ruffalo) and William Armstrong               an sfpd captain.                          of his earlier work, Zodiac is still
(Anthony Edwards), assigned with                Despite the strong cast, Zodiac        a success.                                                                Is that enough motivation for you?
capturing the killer.                        suffers a bit due to length and
                                                                                       Zodiac opens Fri., Mar. 2 in theatres everywhere.
    The most surprising thing about          content. The film clocks in at a
the film is how little it resembles           bloated 156 minutes and because




                                                                                                                                               VIOLENCE


                                                                                                                            IN THEATRES MARCH 2
22 MARCH 01.07 GAUNTLET ENTERTAINMENT




                                                                                                  y
                                           Academy Award winner gets theatrical release in Calgar




                        TheLivesofOthers                               venerated golden statue, The Lives of
                                                                       Others was one of the best films men-
                                                                                                                   appearance suggests a visual parallel
                                                                                                                   to his communist zeal. The symbol
                                                                                                                                                                  Given the exposition, a common
                                                                                                                                                               cat-and-mouse plotline would be
                        f    i   l     m       r   e   v   i   e   w   tioned at the festival in any capacity.     seems to stretch farther than that,         the expected development, but The
                                                                       In fact, it’s one of the best films of the   though, as the most corrupt, despi-         Lives of Others never stoops to the
                        Kyle Francis                                   last decade—from any country.               cable characters in the film are visibly     overwrought tropes of Hollywood.
                        Entertainment Editor                              Based on true events, the film           the largest. In this way, writer/directer   While the unflinching realism of
                                                                       takes place in East Berlin between          Florian Henckel von Donnarsmarck            the story doesn’t lead to a typical


                        I
                            t’s a rare film that’s both an             the end of wii and the fall of the          reverses Soviet imagery much in             guns-blazing climax, it’s the clinical,
                            entertaining story as well as a            Berlin Wall, following the lives            the same way that Dryden uses the           unbiased analysis of the immensely
                            thought-provoking discourse                of two men: Hauptmann Wiesler               Soviet’s own arrogance to subvert           flawed people within the story
                        on the nature of socialism and                 (Ulrich Muhne), a decorated secret          them throughout the film.                    that makes their corruption, suc-
                        human interaction. It’s even more              policeman, and Georg Dryden                    Dryden begins as a loyal commu-          cesses and failures all the more
                        impressive when it’s wrought with              (Sebastian Koch), a playwright.             nist, a man who believes “the gdr is        poignant.
                        rich symbolism and breathtaking                Wiesler is ordered to place Dryden          the greatest country on the planet.”           Executed with deftness on all
                        performances. When a film like that             under surveillance, and while a             But through a series of unintentional       accounts, The Lives of Others is pow-
                        comes along—well, it usually wins an           power differential seems a necessity        provocations on the part of the gov-        erful, beautiful film that impresses
                        Academy Award, actually.                       at first, it quickly becomes clear that      ernment, he’s driven to using his tal-      not only with it’s gripping story,
                           Those who watched the glitter-              both men are equally victimized by          ents in drafting anti-state literature.     but also the depth of intellect in
                        soaked spectacle last Sunday will              a corrupt state.                            The action of the film flows from             its presentation. Though it may be
                        remember The Lives of Others, the                 Weisler is a loner, rail-thin and        the unusual relationship between            Donnarsmarck’s earliest feature-
                        unassuming little German film that              balding, a man so dedicated to his          him and Weisler, who’s become so            length, hopefully the staggering tal-
                        snatched up best foreign language              job that he has become a twisted per-       interested in the playwright that he’s      ent he’s displayed is only a precursor
                        feature—though no one could be                 sonification of it. As corpulence was        willing to ignore greater and greater       to later genius.
                        blamed for forgetting it amidst the            a trait often negatively attributed to      transgressions just to continue the
                                                                                                                                                               The Lives of Others opens in Calgary on Fri., Mar. 2
                        superfluous montages and intro-                corrupt capitalists by the Soviets dur-     vicarious fulfilment he finds in his           exclusively at the Uptown. Electronic surveilance
                        ductions. Far beyond deserving the             ing the Cold War, Weisler’s physical        monitoring duties.                                 equipment is available at the Source.
escapes & pursuits                                                                                                                                                 GAUNTLET MARCH 01.07 23
                                                                                                                                                           Editor: Ryan Pike—eandp@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca


           THEATRE                       Certified Bananas goes ape in the         Lamb of God, Trivium, Machinehead                                                 THINGS TO DO
                                         Hi-Fi Club Thur., Mar. 1.                and Gojira rampage through                  1. The SU presents a second Political Action
Experience the Cripple of an                                                      MacEwan Hall Sun., Mar. 4 at 7:30
                                                                                                                                 Week, this time devoted to information about
Inishmaan inside Max Bell Theatre        Pianists Serghiy Salov and Chen          p.m. Tickets are $36 at Ticketmaster.
                                                                                                                                 international conflict and the difficulties of
Mar. 6–7. It seems like a typo, but      Zhengyu perform in the Rozsa
it’s not. Tickets are $17.55 to $40 at   Centre Fri., Mar. 1 at 8 p.m. $35 at     The Game plays the Stampede
                                                                                                                                 peace. Check it out.
Ticketmaster.                            the door or Campus Ticket Centre.        Corral Tues., Mar. 6 at 7 p.m. Tickets      2. The Dinos host the CIS women’s volleyball
                                                                                  are $35 to $50 at Ticketmaster.                championships, featuring the best teams
The Enbridge playRites Festival          The Neckers, Gaye Rage and B.A.          Tickets for the previously-scheduled           from all parts of the country. Cheer the Dinos
finishes this weekend, so it’s your       Johnston rizock Broken City              show will be honoured.                         to victory!
                                                                                                                              3. Trailer Park Boys is a great Canadian
last chance to attend! Age of Arousal
runs Thur., Mar. 1 and Sat., Mar. 3,
                                         Fri., Mar. 2 at 8 p.m. Tickets are
                                         available at Megatunes, Melodiya                     SPORTS                             television program. So great, that it spawned
December Man is unleashed                and Sloth.                               It’s the last weekend of the season,           a movie. You can watch the movie for free on
Fri., Mar. 2 and Sun., Mar. 4 and the                                             so celebrate another year of Dino
                                                                                                                                 Monday, thanks to Cinemania.
Knowing Bird flies away                   Sittin’ Idol, Special Agent Johnson      excellence by attending the CIS
                                                                                                                              4. The playRites Festival ends on Sunday, so go
Sat., Mar. 3. Shows are in Martha        and the Four Twenties idolize            women’s volleyball championships.
Cohen Theatre, and tickets are           the Gateway Fri., Mar. 2 at 9 p.m.       The best teams in Canadian
                                                                                                                                 see something. Now.
$16.50 to $40 at Ticketmaster. Plus,     Admission is $5.                         women’s university volleyball come          5. There is no hockey this week, but plenty of
catch This is Cancer! in Big Secret                                               to Jack Simpson Gym to determine               monster trucks. That’s right.
Theatre Mar 1–4. Tickets are $22 at      Freq Nasty desanitizes the               who’s #1. Play begins Thur., Mar. 1;
Ticketmaster.                            Warehouse Fri., Mar. 2 at 9 p.m.
                                         Tickets are $15 at Ticketmaster.
                                                                                  Laval plays Ottawa at noon,
                                                                                  Manitoba squares off against Trinity
                                                                                                                                        MISC.                     Cinemania presents Trailer Park
                                                                                                                                                                  Boys: The Movie in Science
DSI: Drunk Scene Investigation                                                    Western at 2 p.m., Alberta faces         Engineers Without Borders presents     Theatres 148 Mon., Mar. 5 at
snoops around the Studio Theatre in      My! Gay! Husband! comes out in           St. Mary’s at 5 p.m. and the Dinos       EWB Day in MacEwan Student             6:30 p.m. and 9 p.m. Free.
the basement of Craigie Hall F           the Hi-Fi Club Sat., Mar. 3.             host Montreal at 7 p.m. Play             Centre Thur., Mar. 1 from 11 a.m.
Thur., Mar. 1 at 10:30 p.m.                                                       continues Mar. 2–3 and while the         until 3 p.m. Free.                     Rob Heubert discusses Canada/US
Admission is $2.                         Morgan Heritage, Ibo and Kindread,       remaining schedule depends on who                                               Arctic relations in the Rozsa Centre
                                         Sya and DJ J-Trak and Jahmain            wins, the championship game will be      Malek Khouri discusses Researching     Tues., Mar. 6 at 2 p.m. Free.
Nickle and Dime Theatre presents         Event bust a groove in MacEwan           played Sat., Mar. 3 at 2:30 p.m.         Arab Cinema and Culture in the Post
Complications in Reeve Secondary         Ballroom Sat., Mar. 3 at 8 p.m.          Check godinos.com for details.           9/11 Period in Social Sciences 202     March is department of English
Theatre Mar. 1–2 at noon. Admission      Tickets are $35 at Ticketmaster.         Students $8, adults $12 for individual   Fri., Mar. 2 at noon. Free.            month! Check out a reading by poet
is $2.                                                                            game tickets, or students $20, adults                                           Nancy Jo Cullen in Social Sciences

         CONCERTS                        Do Make Say Think get intellectual
                                         in the Warehouse Sat., Mar. 3 at
                                                                                  $30 for tournament passes.               Attend the War and Peace: the
                                                                                                                           Costs of Conflict conference in the
                                                                                                                                                                  921 Tues., Mar. 6 at 8:30 p.m. and
                                                                                                                                                                  by Pamela Mordecai in Social
Check out Broken City’s latest RAMP      8 p.m. Tickets are $15 at Ticketmaster   Boxing may call itself the sport of      Rozsa Centre Mar 2–3. Free.            Sciences 1015 Wed., Mar. 7 at
event, featuring Martin Fulton                                                    kings, but the real one is driving                                              3 p.m. Free.
Overkill, Holzkopf and the Bloat         The Borealis String Quartet soothes      monster trucks. Check out Monster        Check out Political Action Week II,
Thur., Mar. 1 at 8 p.m. Tickets are      the Rosza Centre Sat., Mar. 3 at         Jam in the Saddledome Mar. 2–4.          devoted to international conflict       Gwynne Dyer appears in MacEwan
available at Megatunes, Melodiya         8 p.m. Students $15, adults $18 at       Tickets are $14 to $22 at                and the pursuit of peace, all over     Ballroom Wed., Mar. 7 at 7 p.m.
and Sloth.                               Campus Ticket Centre.                    Ticketmaster.                            MacEwan Student Centre Mar. 5–7.       Tickets are $14.95 at Ticketmaster
24 MARCH 01.07 GAUNTLET
Editor: Chris Tait—photo@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca                                                 photo




                                                                                                              Tequila Sunset
                                                                                            by Ændrew Rininsland (Canon 20D)




                                                                                       D)
                                                                          osh (Canon 10
                                                               f   MacInt
                                                quare   by Geof
                                      T  imes S




Mountains by John McDonald (Canon 30D)
                                                                                                         GAUNTLET PHOTO MARCH 01.07 25




                                               Empty Sp
                                                       ace Jam
                                                                 by Chris
                                                                            Tait (Can
                                                                                     on Digita
                                                                                              l Rebel)




                                                                                                               Expose Yourself!
                                                                                                               Remember, you can
                                                                                                                submit your very
                                                                                                                own photo to the
                                                                                                                 editor anytime.
                                                                                                                 Photos aren’t
                                                                                                                  just printed,
                                                                                                                  they also get
                                                                                                                   posted online at
                                                                                                                   gauntlet.ucal-
                                                                                                                   gary.ca and in
                                                                                                                    our PDF edi-
                                                                                                                    tion. Check out
                                                                                                                     page 3 for sub-
                                                                                                                      mission info.



                                          l)
                 erson (Canon Digital Rebe
Rose by Katy And
sports                                                                                                                                                                        GAUNTLET MARCH 01.07 26
                                                                                                                                                                                  Editor: Jon Roe—sports@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca




The road to a national title
                                        The last stop of the Canadian Interuniversity Sport women’s volleyball season rests in
                                       Calgary for the second season in a row. This year, the Dinos are hoping to grab the top
                                  prize, improving upon the surprising bronze they received last year. Unfortunately, seven of
                                    the country’s top teams stand in their way. With the amount of parity in the CIS, it’s hard
                                   to predict who will emerge victorious. It’s going to be a long and bumpy road for whoever
                                                       takes away the gold. The Gauntlet is here with a look at all eight teams.
UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY DINOS
Seed: fifth national ranking: seventh conference: Canada West 2006/07 record: 15–5 playoffs: 3–1, cw bronze nationals trip: 15th national medals: three gold, three silver, three bronze


T    he Dinos are one of the deepest teams
     in the cis. Unfortunately, they’ve also
been one of the most inconsistent this sea-
                                                      on the court. Niemczewska, in her last season
                                                      of cis eligibility, averaged 4.18 kills per game,
                                                      the second best in the conference.
                                                                                                              head coach Kevin Boyles after the second game
                                                                                                              of the playoff series against the University of
                                                                                                              British Columbia Thunderbirds. The Dinos
                                                                                                                                                                  they dropped three in a
                                                                                                                                                                  row late in the sea-
                                                                                                                                                                  son and tumbled
son. Last year the team was struck down by               Despite all this experience, the Dinos lacked        started the match with two mistake-filled           down the national
injuries to superstar right-side hitter Joanna        a killer instinct for most of the season. Several       sets before settling down to win the match          rankings from
Niemczewska before the season, and to Holly           games against weaker opposition, like against           3–1 and the series 2–0. “People ask me what         first to seventh.
Harper and Willemina Stikker-Breemhaar                the University of Saskatchewan Huskies,                 to expect from night to night, and I have no        But on home
midway through, which gave bench players              who finished 5–15, and against the Brandon               idea. We can play some of the best ball I’ve        court, no one
some unexpected experience.                           University Bobcats, who finished 4-16, went              ever seen and we can also be pretty ugly. No        should count out
   Now that the whole team is healthy, the            to five sets when they should’ve been settled            explanation.”                                       this talented Dinos
Dinos have the opportunity to roll different          in three or four.                                         The Dinos also lost their stride midway through   squad.
line ups while keeping experienced players               “That’s this team, you know,” said Dinos             the season. After a seven game winning streak,                        ..Jon Roe


UNIVERSITY OF MONTRÉAL CARABINS
Seed: fourth national ranking: second conference: Quebec Student Sports Federation 2006/07 record: 23–2 playoffs: 2–3, qssf silver nationals trip: ninth national medals: none


T     he University of Montreal Carabins
      will be out for revenge in
their Thur., Mar. 1 quarterfinal
                                                               The team is ready to contend for another
                                                                 gold medal this year, after coming so
                                                                     close last year when they lost out
                                                                                                                “It was hard to take the loss,” said
                                                                                                              Benhamou. “But it makes you stronger and
                                                                                                              more angry inside, so I feel better. To fight for
                                                                                                                                                                  than good honest battle. In this type of tour-
                                                                                                                                                                  nament and format, you’re always going to
                                                                                                                                                                  have some tough matches. Whether it’s the
match with the University of                                            in the semis to rival Quebec          the next game, we have a big angry to keep          first one, or the second one, or the third one,
Calgary.                                                                    Student Sports Federation         the loss out.”                                      they’re all tough, all the same. Why not start
   “It’s great, we’re so happy                                                 foes Laval. Though they          Head coach Olivier Trudel is fairly confi-         with a bang?”
to meet [the Dinos] because                                                    have to exact vengeance        dent, and realizes he’ll have tough matches           This match promises to be dyna-
last year we lost against them [in                                          on Calgary first, they plan        the entire road to the coveted gold, regardless     mite and though Laval is the team the
the bronze medal] in the last set                                       on serving Laval a cold dish as       of who he faces.                                    Carabins want to take down a peg or two, the
18–16,” said fifth-year centre Melody                                 well, as they owe them not only for        “Calgary is one of the good teams in the          Dinos stand in their way of sweet revenge,
Benhamou. “It’s great, we’re happy. It’s                         last year’s loss, but also for a defeat in   nation and one of the good programs in the          and a gold medal.
going to be a good match.”                                    this year’s qssf final.                          nation,” said Trudel. “I expect nothing less                                             ..Jon Roe


UNIVERSITY OF LAVAL ROUGE ET OR
Seed: second national ranking: third conference: qssf 2006/07 record: 21–4 playoffs: 4–0, qssf gold nationals trip: 24th national medals: one gold, two silver, seven bronze


T    he University of Laval Rouge et Or are poised
     to strike—rather, spike—heading into the
cis women’s volleyball championships.
                                                      season, but recovered, ending strongly at
                                                      21–4. Back-to-back wins against arch-rival
                                                      Montreal added to Laval’s 14-win streak
                                                                                                              seeded second and entering this year’s cham-
                                                                                                              pionships the same way could bode well for
                                                                                                              the team. With their strong season and equally
                                                                                                                                                                  national title into a
                                                                                                                                                                  positive pressure,”
                                                                                                                                                                  said Robitaille.
  The red and gold volleyballers are seeded           during the season.                                      strong coach, who helped the team achieve a         “We’re in Calgary
second as they head in to defend their first cis         “We had so many injuries with a lot of key            mind-boggling 37–0 season in 2005/06, Laval         with one thing in
win last season. They face off against Ottawa         players at the beginning of the season,” said           has the win in their sights.                        mind, to defend
in the quarterfinals Thur., Mar. 1.                    Rouge et Or head coach Benoit Robitaille.                  “We’re loaded with experience which should       our title.”
  The team had a very rocky start to the                Last year, the Rouge et Or went into cis              help us transform the pressure of winning a             ..Amanda Hu


UNIVERSITY OF OTTAWA GEE-GEES
Seed: seventh national ranking: not ranked conference: Ontario University Athletics 2006/07 record: 13–6 playoffs: 3–0, oua gold nationals trip: fourth national medals: none


M       ost of the University of Ottawa Gee-Gees’
        women’s volleyball squad weren’t even
twinkles in their parents’ eyes the last time their
                                                      proud to be in such elite company.”
                                                         The Gee-Gees enter the fray as
                                                      clear underdogs, especially given
                                                                                                                 you for this,” said Woods. “We’ve played
                                                                                                                    all these teams before, but never in the
                                                                                                                        same place.”
                                                                                                                                                                  teams,” said Woods. “We’re not the biggest
                                                                                                                                                                  team, but we can play at that height and that’s
                                                                                                                                                                  our greatest asset.”
team was involved in the cis championships.           their first round match-up                                              Woods acknowledges that                Despite this optimism, Woods acknowledges
Despite being the new kids on the block, the          is against the defending                                                 his team’s inexperience at         the team is unlikely to win it all this year.
Gee-Gees are no pushovers. After finishing             champion University of                                                      the national level is a            While the 1981 team earned a bronze medal,
the regular season in third place in Ontario          Laval Rouge et Or.                                                             hurdle—all but Ottawa        subsequent teams posted disappointing fin-
University Athletics’ East Division with a               Nevertheless,                                                                  and Manitoba are          ishes. The Gee-Gees are aiming for a finish that
13–6 record, Ottawa ousted conference rivals          Woods thinks                                                                      holdovers from the        would leave a foundation for future teams to
York and Western Ontario by tense 3–2 scores          his        team’s                                                                 2006 nationals—but        build upon.
before steamrolling over McMaster 3–1. That           impressive playoff                                                              thinks that his team is        “Everybody’s goal is to win, but we’re being
victory earned the Gee-Gees their first nationals      performance has pre-                                                         prepared to go toe-to-toe      realistic,” said Woods. “We’re aiming to play
appearance since 1987.                                pared them for the rigors                                                 with the traditional power-       three games, which would mean a minimum
   “It’s been 20 years since we’ve been here,”        of nationals.                                                          houses.                              fifth place finish.”
said Gee-Gees coach Lionel Woods. “We’re                 “I think tough matches prepare                                     “We’re one of the most athletic                                            ..Ryan Pike
                                                                                                                                                         GAUNTLET SPORTS MARCH 01.07 27
UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA PANDAS
Seed: first national ranking: fourth conference: cw 2006/07 record: 16–4 playoffs: 4–0, cw gold nationals trip: 13th national medals: six gold, two silver, one bronze


T    he University of Alberta Pandas are going
     in strong to the cis women’s volleyball
championship Mar. 1–3.
                                                   for us and was
                                                   one of the goals
                                                   that we wanted
                                                                                                                               the      Pandas
                                                                                                                               themselves
                                                                                                                               who succeeded
                                                                                                                                                           “Our team really loves this gym,” said
                                                                                                                                                         Eisler. “It’s a challenging gym to play in, but
                                                                                                                                                         eventually you sort of embrace it.”
   After a rough start to the season, the team     to reach, so we                                                             in doing it.                Eisler added that while the Calgary/
stepped it up, standing at 16–4 and is now         want to con-                                                                   “This is the           Edmonton rivalry is always in the minds of
seeded first after a Canada West gold medal.        tinue with that                                                             ultimate chal-            the players, the team is currently focusing on
The Pandas boast Canada West player of the         momentum.”                                                                  lenge, for sure,”         beating St. Mary’s in the quarterfinals.
year Tiffany Dodds, a third-year setter/outside       Although                                                                 said Pandas head            Alberta’s biggest competition will likely be
hitter, and double threat Wendy Linnell, who       a strong con-                                                               coach Laurie              Laval, who is in their prime going into the
is also a member of U of A’s track and field        tender,      the                                                            Eisler.                   championships and seeded second, as well
team.                                              Pandas will have to work hard to avoid              The Pandas have a pseudo-home advan-              as Manitoba, who was knocked off the top
   “We’ve been building all year,” said Linnell.   the perils that many teams seeded first have      tage after playing many games at the Jack           position by the Pandas after dropping the
“We’re really at our peak right now. Coming        fallen victim to in the past. A top seeded team   Simpson Gym. This familiarity could help            Can West final 3–1.
out of Canada West with the win was a big goal     hasn’t won cis since 2000, though it was          them win it all.                                                                    ..Amanda Hu


TRINITY WESTERN UNIVERSITY SPARTANS
Seed: sixth national ranking: sixth conference: cw 2006/07 record: 15–5 playoffs: 2–2, cw fourth nationals trip: second national medals: none


T   he Trinity Western Spartans are on a
    mission.
  “We’ve come in gunning for gold,” said
                                                   four tournament in Winnipeg by beating the
                                                   University of Saskatchewan Huskies in two
                                                   straight games in the quarterfinals, but failed
                                                                                                     other it was a battle, with the Bisons com-
                                                                                                     ing out on top twice. The Spartans beat them
                                                                                                     handily in their last match, though, winning
head coach Ryan Hofer, at a Wed., Feb. 28          to make an impact in Winterpeg, losing            in three straight sets while on the road.
cis championship press conference. “We             matches to the University of Calgary Dinos           “We know it’s going to be tough,” said
think that we can give a little bit more than      and the University of Alberta Pandas.             fifth-year setter Anna Paddock, who is
everybody else.”                                      “We were a little disappointed with our        leading the league with a 10.51 assists per
  Hofer’s remarks reflect the self-conscious        performance,” said Hofer unflinchingly.           game average. “We know how to handle the
parody of this year’s cis championship. The        “We have a little more heart than we showed       pressure, we will just have to pull together
teams are so close that it’s possible any team     [in Winnipeg].”                                   and win it.”
could win the championship, but twu’s con-            They are going to need heart to topple the        The confident Spartans, shaken but not
fidence could give them the edge they need          University of Manitoba Bisons, who were           stirred in Winnipeg, will seek to shake off
to go all the way.                                 the cream of the Canada West conference           their final four woes with a win over the
  The Spartans finished their Canada West          this year, finishing with a dominant 18–2         Bisons Thur., Mar. 1 at 2 p.m. in the Jack
season ranked sixth in the country with a          record.                                           Simpson Gymnasium.
15–5 record. They qualified for the final-            Each time these two teams faced each                                          ..Todd Andre


ST. MARY’S UNIVERSITY HUSKIES
Seed: eighth national ranking: not ranked conference: Atlantic University Sport 2006/07 record: 11–10 playoffs: 3–0, aus gold nationals trip: fourth national medals: none


E    very championship needs a David and a
     Goliath. In the 2007 cis women’s volley-
ball championship, the role of humble David
                                                     Once in the playoffs, the
                                                   defending 2006 Atlantic
                                                   University Sport champi-
                                                                                                                         and blocked her way
                                                                                                                         onto the aus first team
                                                                                                                         all-stars for the second
                                                                                                                                                         for the Huskies: if they want to become national
                                                                                                                                                         champions, they have to beat Alberta, the best
                                                                                                                                                         team in the country thus far.
goes to the St. Mary’s University Huskies,         ons channeled the grit that                                           consecutive year. “We’re           “There’s a lot of parity [in the cis], so it
while their gigantic, one-eyed opponent will       vaulted them to victory the                                           trying to take another          doesn’t matter who we play,” said head coach
be played by the top-ranked University of          year before, winning every                                            step forward.”                  Mark Burley, who has won three out of the
Alberta Pandas.                                    match on their way to their                                              St. Mary’s fell to last      last four aus championships. “We just want
  The Huskies struggled to main-                   second straight aus champi-                                           year’s top-ranked team,         the opportunity to play.”
tain a solid starting lineup for the first         onship.                                                               the University of British            Opportunity will be knocking for
half of the Atlantic conference regu-                “Since we’ve established a                                          Columbia Thunderbirds,          the Huskies Thur., Mar. 1 at 5 p.m.
lar season, which led to inconsistent              starting lineup, things have                                          and they have returned          in the Jack Simpson Gymnasium,
performances on the court and an 11–10             really turned around for us,”                                         only to face a similar fate     where they will get another chance to be
record overall, good enough for a fourth           said fourth-year middle Tara                                          this year. It’s like a night-   giant-killers.
seed playoff birth.                                Matheson, who has spiked                                              marish version of déjà vu                                          ..Todd Andre


UNIVERSITY OF MANITOBA BISONS
Seed: third national ranking: first conference: cw, 2006/07 record: 18–2 playoffs: 1–1, cw silver nationals trip: 18th, national medals: five gold, four silver, four bronze


T    he University of Manitoba Bisons’
     return to the Canadian Interuniversity
Sport championships represents the cul-
                                                   around a bit,” said Bentley. “We were
                                                   forming ourselves all over again and
                                                   these vets, they hung tough. I’m very
                                                                                                       Led by conference all-stars Katie
                                                                                                     Davidson, Sabrina Barnes and star rookie
                                                                                                     Ashley Voth, the Bisons bested the Dinos
                                                                                                                                                         tough games and we’ll have to do that
                                                                                                                                                         to win.”
                                                                                                                                                                                   ..Ryan Pike
mination of a long rebuilding process.             proud of them.”                                   3–2 to advance to the
Making their first appearance at the event           Now back on the top of their                    Canada West final but
since their championship win in 2002,              game, they entered the playoffs                   fell to Alberta 3–1 in the
the Bisons rebounded from a dismal 4–16            ranked first by cis, the Bisons are looking       gold medal game.
record two years ago to post an impressive         to cap off their comeback with champi-              As a result, the Bisons
18–2 record this season.                           onship gold.                                      enter the cis tourna-
  “It’s been a long road back,” said Bisons          Putting a wrinkle in their plans is             ment as the third seed.
coach Ken Bentley.                                 the fact that both teams that handed              A veteran of 17 cis
  Following back-to-back cis champion-             Manitoba losses this season—Trinity               tournaments as Bisons
ship victories in 2001 and 2002, Bentley           Western and Alberta—are in the cham-              coach, Bentley doesn’t
went on leave for the 2002/03 season. He           pionship tournament, with the Bisons              see the recent setback
returned to a very different team with a           opening play against Trinity Western              as a problem.
lot of new faces in the line-up.                   and a possible match with the                       “We’ve won from
  “When I came back a lot of the veteran           University of Alberta waiting in the second       different seeds in the
players had graduated,” Bentley said. “We          round. Despite these challenges, Bentley          past,” said Bentley.
were starting from scratch.”                       has his team aiming for victory.                  “We just need to play
  As the core of the team solidified, the            “It would be silly for us not to set            good for three days.
Bisons were forced to endure the disas-            the goal to win, since I think we’re              When we won in
trous 2003/04 season and stiff competition         good enough to do that,” said Bentley.            2002, we were the
in Canada West.                                    “Ultimately, you can’t look for a certain         number three seed.
  “The last two years, we got kicked               draw.”                                            We had to play three
28 MARCH 01.07 GAUNTLET SPORTS




Dino ladies golden, Zelinka superb
track&field                               back and compete in my last year,”
                                          said Zelinka, who is in her fifth-year
                                          of Canadian Interuniversity Sport
   “All who surrender will be spared;     eligibility. “It was really exciting,
whoever does not surrender but            I just love competing, and I love                                                                                               “Zelinka was
opposes with struggle and dissen-         competing with everyone. To do
sion, shall be annihilated.”              all those events, almost at the same                                                                                          by far the best
                                          time, it’s just exciting for me.”
                                                                                                                                                                         athlete at the
-Genghis Khan, Mongolian can-
nibal                                        This was the first time since the
                                          2005 cw championships that Zelinka
Jon Roe                                   has competed for the Dinos. Though                                                                                             competition.”
Sports Editor                             the five gold medals were impressive,                                                                                                     -Geoff Kerr,
                                          Zelinka also knocked down two cw
                                                                                                                                                                               Dinos track star
N
          ot having the wits to sur-      records, in the pentathlon and the
          render, the University of       60 metre hurdles, and came within
          Calgary Dinos’ women’s          1/100th of a second of nailing another
track and field team’s Canada             in the 60m sprint.
West opposition struggled and                “[My coach Les Gramantik] always
were annihilated.                         makes a plan for me,” said Zelinka.
   The Dinos won their third cw           “At the top [of the one for Canada
track and field championship in a          West] it said ‘objectives: five gold
row, kicking off the short season of      medals, three CanWest records.’ I was
official cis competition by burning        like ‘Whoa, no high expectations!’ I
the villages of their western foes, and   ended up getting two records, not
doubling their nearest competitor’s       three. [The third goal] was for long
score. The Dinos finished first with        jump—6.10m was the record. When
136 points to the second-place            I came so close to the 60, I was like,
University of Alberta Pandas’ 65.5.       ‘Whoa, I didn’t expect that one.’”
   “We actually went in expecting to         After competing in several notable
win,” said Dinos head coach Doug          international competitions over the
Lamont. “In actual fact, what the         summer—Zelinka was only the third
girls did was they outperformed           Canadian to compete in the Hypo
themselves and basically domi-            Bank Invitational in Austria—the
nated the rest of the Canada West         university level competition is a step
teams. They did far better than I         down. But Zelinka provides a high
expected.”                                bar for the other athletes on the team
   The Dinos were led by world-           to reach towards.
class athlete Jessica Zelinka, who           “The rest of the team sees Jessica
came away with a booty of five            out there as a world class athlete that
gold medals. Zelinka kicked off           is out to achieve certain things and
her official ’07 season by continu-        to contribute to the team in her last
ing to do what gave her two major         shot,” said Lamont. “The girls see
                                                                                                                                                                                        Chris Tait/the Gauntlet
awards in ’06. Not only did she take      her as an example of what it takes to
the Dr. Fred Tees memorial trophy,        achieve at the highest levels.”             Jessica Zelinka won five gold medals at the Canada West track and field championships.
awarded to an outstanding Canadian           “[Zelinka] definitely was by far
track and field athlete enrolled in a      the best athlete at the competition,”       team standings, led by Geoff Kerr,     cross country champion. “It was a        “It’ll be a challenge,” admitted
Canadian university, for the third        said men’s teammate Geoff Kerr. “It’s       named the male top performer in        pretty exciting weekend. The racing   Lamont. “If you look at the rankings
consecutive year, she came away           good to get some perspective what it        track award and the male most valu-    experience I’ve gained the last few   this week, we’re ranked number
with the F.N.A. Roswell Trophy as         takes to get to the next level and to try   able performer. Kerr took home gold    years definitely helped in my races    one [on the women’s side.] What
the Canadian athlete of the year in       and elevate your game, just to come         in the 1,500m and 3,000m races and     this weekend.”                        it’s going to come down to is our
track and field events.                    even close to where’s she’s at.”            helped the relay team take silver in      Now that Canada West has been      athletes will be focusing their indi-
   “I’m glad I got a chance to come          The men’s team took second in the        the 4x800m.                            laid to waste, Zelinka, Kerr and      vidual successes and the successes
                                                                                         “Everybody performed well and       company look forward to the 2007      of the relay teams. And if they get
                                                                                      we exceeded expectations,” said        cis championships in Montreal         a team championship, well that’s
                                                                                      Kerr, who was also the 2006 cis        Mar. 8–10.                            going to be a bonus.”
                                                                                                                                                                   GAUNTLET SPORTS MARCH 01.07 29



Ladies wrassle their way to the top of Canada West
wrestling                                                                                      “I’ve wrestled
  “Ability is nothing without oppor-
tunity.”
                                                                                              everyone that I
               -Napoleon Bonaparte                                                             will be seeing
Jon Roe                                                                                        at the CIS and
Sports Editor
                                                                                                 hopefully [I’ll

T                                                                                               meet] the girl
        he Dinos women’s wrestling
        team had an opportunity
        to display their ability in
Saskatoon when they travelled east
                                                                                               I’m expecting
to take on their western Canada
opponents in the Canada West finals.
                                                                                                  in the final.”
The result was a gold medal for the                                                                     -Andrea Ross
ladies, their fourth first-place finish                                                                  Dinos women’s
of the season.                                                                                         wrestling team
   “We had five individual cham-                                                                               captain
pions out of eight weight classes, a
pretty dominant performance,” said
Dinos head coach Mitch Ostberg.
“At CanWest there are very strong
women’s teams to compete against.
[The University of] Regina had a very
good women’s team, [University of]
Saskatchewan had a full squad, and of
course, Simon Fraser University, the
                                                                                                           Chris Tait/the Gauntlet                                                   courtesy Monique Smith/Dinos Wrestling
returning champions from last year,
is always strong. They have a peren-      Dinos captain Andrea Ross won the 55 kg weight class at the                                Dino Megan Goldsmith latches onto the leg of an opponent.
nial strength, they’ve won Canadian       Canada West championships in Saskatoon.                                                    Goldsmith won the 82 kg weight class.
Interuniversity Sport three times in a
row and we hope to dethrone them          Goldsmith settled an old score              very well. Out of the nine athletes            classes. We may meet some of those       seeing at the cis, and hopefully [I’ll
this year.”                               that had been a thorn in her side           we entered, eight qualified for the             opponents and we may not.”               meet] the girl I’m expecting to be
   Captain Andrea Ross admitted that      all season.                                 Canadian Interuniversity Sport                    Ross minced no words in describ-      in the final. I’ve been studying her
they had expected to win going into          “Megan Goldsmith and Shayla              championships which is almost the              ing her mind-set going into the sea-     hard. I’ve wrestled her, we’ve gone
the tournament.                           Turcotte from sfu have had kind of          level of the best teams for qualifica-          son-ending championships.                back and forth, it should be a good
   “Truthfully, yes,” said Ross. “The     a rivalry back and forth this year,” said   tion. The top team, sfu, qualified                 “I want to perform my best, and I     match.”
way we have performed this whole          Ross. “Megan’s come up short against        nine guys.”                                    want to lead our team to the champi-        If the Dinos can take away the cis
year has been consistent and everyone     her a few times before but just anni-          cis championships are Mar. 2–3              onship,” said Ross. “Now, because it’s   championship, it’ll be their first since
competed to their abilities. We just      hilated her at CanWest and solidified        in Saskatoon. The Dinos will be                my fourth year, I pretty much know       2001, the end of a three-year run that
dominated every team, throughout.         our win against the Clan.”                  sending eight female wrestlers to go           everyone that’s going to be in there.    started with the first women’s cham-
We were fairly confident going in.”           “It was really thrilling to watch        with their eight male qualifiers, and           I’ve wrestled everyone that I will be    pionship in 1999.
   The Dinos also took gold at the        Megan go out in the last match against      will be going into the championships
Dinos invitational in October, at         her conference rival and throw and          as the top-ranked women’s team in
Lakehead University in December,          pin her opponent to win the Canada          the country. Though confident going
and at the Golden Bear Open in            West title for her individual place-        into the cw championships, the team
Edmonton in January. Several rook-        ment,” said Ostberg. “We pretty             is understandably cautious when it
ies stepped up for the Dinos, includ-     much secured the team title at that         comes to next weekend’s nation-
ing Genevieve Haley, who was named        time but it was great for her to end        wide event with great programs
the female rookie of the year.            with such a dramatic finish.”                like Western University and Brock
   “Gen was fifth in junior nationals         The men’s side finished with a tie        University participating.
last year,” said Ostberg. “She’s a very   for bronze, but Ostberg noted that             “[Western and Brock] are very
strong competitor already entering        the finish is good for the inexperi-         competitive and we’ll have to be
the program. But she’s really devel-      enced team.                                 careful to perform our best against
oped rapidly and is improving. You           “We have a young men’s team,”            those competitors,” said Ostberg.
should never say you’re not surprised     said Ostberg. “The majority of our          “Because the cis is an open-format
when a rookie wins, but she’s really      team is in their second season of           tournament, you don’t necessarily
quite good. It’s not that surprising      wrestling. With such a young team           go head to head against those teams.
that she can win.”                        you can’t really expect too much, but       We meet them in open tournament
   In the 82 kg class, Dino Meg           I thought our men’s team performed          play, individuals, in different weight
30 MARCH 01.07 GAUNTLET SPORTS




Hockeysaurs poised to take CW
men’s hockey                             goal Friday night in the dying min-
                                         utes of the first, and more impor-
                                         tantly, the insurance goal during
                                                                                                                                                                        on Talbot, but he stood tall between
                                                                                                                                                                        the pipes and blanked the Cougs for
                                                                                                                                                                        a 2–0 shutout victory. More impor-
                                         Saturday’s must-win. However, the                                                                                              tantly, the Dinos were still alive, and
Alyzée Sibtain                           Dinos couldn’t hold on to their lead                                                                                           looked to put the series away Sunday
Gauntlet Sports                          in the second period, as the Cougars                                                                                           afternoon.
                                         finally woke up and started to play                                                                                                “We had a team meeting after


T
        he Dino must have seen his       some real hockey.                                                                                                              [Friday’s] game and really got
        shadow early in February,           The Cougs hammered Dino                                                                                                     some things sorted out,” explained
        as winter has finally thawed      netminder Scott Talbot with 14                                                                                                 Wheat. “For the first time in a while,
for the University of Calgary men’s      shots in the second period, three                                                                                              we really played some good hockey
hockeysaurs, who were able to claw       of which showed up in the goals                                                                                                [Saturday night]. We played as a
their way back into the win column.      column. Cougar James Ardelan                                                                                                   unit, as a team.”
The Dinos lost an embarrassing eight     scored the first goal for Regina, as                                                                                               Sunday’s game, the end of the
straight games to close out the regu-    well as the game-winner in the last                                                                                            season for one of two very talented
lar season, as well as the first game     five minutes of the middle period.                                                                                              teams, began with an onslaught of
of the post season, but the Dinos        The Dinos only managed four shots                                                                                              penalties. A total of 11 two-minute
pulled it together and rediscovered      in both the second and third peri-                                                                                             minors were assessed in the opening
the key to their early season success.   ods, none of which they were able                                                                                              period, including a whistle against
By defeating the University of Regina    to convert. Cougar Jason Weitzel,                                                                                              the Dinos for unsportsmanlike
Cougars during Feb. 23–25’s first-        who owned the Dinos in their last                                                                                              conduct at the end of the frame.
round playoff action, the Dinos have     meeting, scored the insurance goal                                                                                             The Cougs scored their only goal
advanced to the Great Plains divi-       on a third-period power play to wrap                                                                                           of the game during this man-
sion final and are poised to make a       up the victory, and left the Dinos                                                                                             advantage to tie up the game at a
serious charge at the title of Canada    facing what could be the final 60                                                                                               goal apiece, but Dino Colin McRae
West champions.                          minutes of their unpredictable                                                                                                 silenced the crowd and concluded
   The Dinos faced an elimination        season.                                                                                                                        the Cougars’ season with the series-
situation after losing Friday night’s       “We seem to come out strong,                                                                                                winning goal a mere two minutes
contest 4–2 in Sherwood Twin             and once we’ve shown we are the                                                                                                later.
Arenas, much like they did the           better team, we get too complacent,”                                                                                              The Dinos were heavily out-shot
last time they traveled to the open      commented Barry Horman, a sec-                                                                                                 Sunday by a 14-shot margin, but it
prairies. Dino Andre Blanchette put      ond-year student. “It’s been hurting                                                                                           was Talbot who upheld their lead.
his team on the board early in the       us for a while now.”                                                                                                           Talbot again remained solid for
first period off a Torrie Wheat pass         If the Dinos were going to get                                                                                              his team, turning away 31 shots on
                                                                                                                                         Geoff MacIntosh/the Gauntlet
on the power play. Each team threw       back to their winning ways, they                                                                                               32 attempts by a desperate Regina
eight shots at the opposing goalie       were running out of time to do          Play gets rough on the ice.                                                            squad, and received tremendous
in the opening frame, but it was         so. Saturday night’s contest could                                                                                             support from the Dinos’ strong
the Dinos who found themselves           have very well been their last game     regular season.                         contest. The Cougars weren’t able to           defence. The Dinos skated out of
heading into the second with a 2–0       of the season, but the hockeysaurs        The Dinos controlled Saturday         gain any offensive momentum until              Saskatchewan with the series vic-
advantage.                               were not about to let their hard work   night’s critical game from puck         the third period, thanks to the Dinos’         tory, and extended their season by
   Dino defenceman Travis Friedley       and improvements at both ends of        drop, with Brett O’Malley scor-         stifling defence and strong penalty-            at least another weekend.
played a crucial role in the Dinos’      the ice go to waste against a team      ing the only goal the Dinos would       killing unit. The Cougs made a final               Talbot’s performance over the
series victory, scoring their second     they had dominated during the           need in the first three minutes of the   push in the last period with 13 shots                   See hockeysaurs, page 34
                                                                                                                                                  GAUNTLET SPORTS MARCH 01.07 31



Dinos done for the season
women’s hockey
Derek Neumeier
Gauntlet Sports




I
     t was a long season and the team
     came a long way, but the sounds
     of sticks, skates and slapshots
won’t be heard in the early hours
of the Olympic Oval anytime
soon: the University of Calgary
women’s hockey team won’t be
playing any more hockey games
this spring.
   The Dinos battled their inner-city
rival Mount Royal College Cougars
in the opening round of the Alberta
College Athletic Conference playoffs
Feb. 16–18, playing valiantly and giv-
ing their opponents a run for their
money. Unfortunately, the Dinos
didn’t muster up enough to win
the two out of three games needed
to advance.
   The Dinos’ series defeat was a
hard one to swallow as the team
held victory in their grasp and let
it slide between their claws, win-
                                                                                                                                                                            Geoff MacIntosh/the Gauntlet
ning the first game of the series
at Centennial Arenas in a remark-        These sticks won’t be hitting the ice until next season.
able fashion, but lacking that
final drive needed to finish off their     playoff atmosphere was electric         but thanks to the play of Cougar      mystery what was said to the team     wasn’t enough, as Dino defender
adversaries. The Cougars fought          as both teams showed no signs of        netminder Jennelle Stam, her team     during the intermission, but it was   Ali Webb answered that with a
back to win the next two games           understanding the word ‘tentative,’     was able to stay alive and convert    obvious the Dinos came out like a     goal of her own 10 seconds after-
and the series.                          skating their hardest and chasing       on chances of their own. mrc led      team possessed. They wasted no        wards, her second out of four points
   “It was heartbreaking,” said an       after every puck. It was clear from     2–1 going into what will surely       time in finding even ground again      on the night, tying the game yet
emotional captain Beth Nerland           the initial drop of the puck that the   go down as not just an amazing        when forward Danielle Boyce           again.
after game three. “We deserved           game would be an offensive affair,      period of hockey, but one that will   made a great individual effort to       “It was a fun game to play in,”
more. We came so far and I’m so          as both teams took every chance         be remembered by all those who        find open ice and fire home a per-      commented Webb. “They’re a good
proud of my team, we didn’t quit         presented to them to risk a scor-       played in or witnessed it.            fect wrister, tying the game early.   team and they made us compete
in every game.”                          ing chance. The Dinos controlled          The Dinos had come too far and      The Cougars attempted to hold off     harder.”
   The series started off perfectly      the play for the first two frames,      played with too much heart to let     the Dinos’ momentum by scoring          The three goals in roughly three
for the Dinos Fri., Feb. 16. The         out-shooting their opposers 21–16,      the game simply slip away. It’s a     a goal mere minutes later, but it                   See finished, page 35
32 MARCH 01.07 GAUNTLET SPORTS



                                 Dinos downed in the ’toon
                                 men’s b-ball
                                 Stewart Pallard
                                 Gauntlet Sports




                                 T
                                          he University of Calgary
                                          men’s basketball team saw
                                          their season go the way of
                                 the dinosaurs as they were swept in
                                 their opening playoff series against
                                 the University of Saskatchewan
                                 Huskies. The Dinos didn’t play
                                 very well during the first game on
                                 Fri., Feb. 16, and their defensive play,
                                 which was solid in previous meet-
                                 ings against the Huskies, became
                                 suddenly porous.
                                    The Huskies outscored the Dinos
                                 35–13 in the beginning of the second
                                 half, giving them a lead into the final
                                 10 minutes that the Dinos simply
                                 couldn’t overcome. The Huskies
                                 outscored the Dinos 49–46 in the
                                 second half and won 91–79.
                                    All-Canadian forward Andrew
                                 Spagrud dominated the Dinos
                                 with a game-high 35 points and
                                 nine rebounds. Husky Kyle Grant
                                 also had a strong game, recording
                                 a double-double with 10 assists and
                                 28 points.
                                    “Defensively we didn’t get the job
                                 done,” said Dino head coach Dan
                                 Vanhooren. “It had nothing to do
                                                                                                                                         Andrew Spearin/the Sheaf
                                 with our offence.”
                                    The Dinos had some strong               The Huskies Rejean Chabot drives against Dino Brian Finniss.
                                 performances of their own as
                                 Brian Finniss had 21 points, Ross          answered the call for the Huskies         Sihota bounced back recording 25
                                 Bekkering had 19 and Cody Darrah           with two momentum-shifting                points as his ankle was still hurting
                                 knocked down 12 points.                    dunks and another game-high               from the night before. Josh Feist
                                    The Dinos were also hurt by the         35 points. He also picked up his          also had 14 points and six assists
                                 fact that starters Robbie Sihota and       fourth personal foul with just over       for the Dinos.
                                 Josh Feist combined for a mere four        10 minutes left and completed the            “We played well enough to win,”
                                 points. Sihota was nursing an ankle        game.                                     said Vanhooren, “We missed a
                                 injury and didn’t muster any type            “We played him tough, but he’s          pretty good shot with seconds left
                                 of offence in 13 minutes of playing        a good player and made difficult           and if we hit it we would be talking
                                 time.                                      shots,” said Vanhooren.                   a lot differently right now. We have
                                    “Robbie and Josh combined                 With just a nine seconds left a         lots to look forward to but [it’s] not
                                 for four points,” said Vanhooren.          technical foul was called on Husky        really the way we wanted to end the
                                 “That’s pretty tough.”                     head coach Greg Jockims. The Dinos        year.”
                                     The Dinos looked to respond            made both free throws, making it a           With the season now over for
                                 in the second game of the series           one-point game with possession of         the players, the coaching staff
                                 Saturday, trying to force a third          the ball. Josh Feist tried to make a      can look forward to a busy off-
                                 game. The first half started well          driving bank shot but it rolled off the   season.
                                 as the Dinos led 52–48 and had a           rim and the Dino season was over             “We’re out recruiting right now
                                 team shooting percentage of 68.8           as time ran out.                          and fundraising,” said Vanhooren,
                                 per cent.                                    Brian Finniss had another strong        “for the players the season is over but
                                    However, Andrew Spagrud again           game for the Dinos with 18 points.        for us there is no off-season.”


                                 Aquasaurs return from championships
                                 triumphant
                                 swimming                                   613.5 and 647 points, respectively.
                                                                            They closely trailed the University
                                                                            of British Columbia Thunderbirds
                                                                                                                      making the award a great way to end
                                                                                                                      her cis career. Coach Mike Blondal
                                                                                                                      was also honoured as female coach
                                                                            who won their 10th straight vic-          of the year.
                                 Amanda Hu                                  tory on both sides. Home team               Overall, the Dinos were very
                                 Sports Assistant                           Dalhousie finished the champion-           pleased with the outcome of the
                                                                            ships in third on the men’s side and      weekend.
                                   The Dinos swimmers are back              13th on the women’s.                        “We did a really good job,” said
                                 from the Canadian Interuniversity             Calgary swept the women’s              Dinos swimmer Dan Langlois.
                                 Sport swimming championships               individual honors as Erin Gammel          “We put our best effort forward
                                 in Halifax and have something to           was honoured for the second time          this weekend. We’ve never been
                                 celebrate.                                 with female swimmer of the year,          that close before because usually
                                   Both men’s and women’s teams             while Kevyn Peterson claimed              [ubc] blows us out of the water. I
                                 finished in a strong second at the          female rookie of the year. Gammel         definitely think that next year is
                                 end of the weekend, standing at            is in her fifth year of cis eligibility,   ours.”
                                                                                        GAUNTLET SPORTS MARCH 01.07 33


Lady b-ballers struggle
against Huskies




                                                               Ryan Link/the Gauntlet


The Dinos faced tough competition over the weekend.


women’s b-ball                             [After] talking to the Saskatchewan
                                           coach [Lisa Thomaidis], [we both]
                                           agreed. She was tougher, more
                                           aggressive, more focused than the
                                           previous league games the week-
Todd Andre                                 end before. She put her team on
Gauntlet Sports                            her shoulders and wouldn’t be
                                           denied.”


B
        ig players dominate big               These teams were closer than the
        games. In the two biggest          sweep and Saturday’s score reveal.
        games of the season thus           The first half of Friday’s game was
far, the University of Saskatchewan        almost split evenly between them,
Huskies’ biggest player, reigning cis      with Calgary taking a 37–36 edge
most valuable player Sarah Crooks,         into the second half. The Huskies
dominated the University of Calgary        finally pulled ahead 55–48 in the
Dinos in a Saskatchewan sweep of           third quarter, forcing the Dinos to
the Central Division semi-final            play catch up for most of the final
Feb. 16–17. Crooks tallied a total of 73   frame. Jamie Morck’s last second
points and 38 rebounds against the         jumper got Calgary into sudden
Dino women, leading her Huskies            death tied at 71, but Crooks and
to a narrow 87–83 overtime vic-            company held them off for the
tory Friday night and clinching            87–83 overtime victory.
the series Saturday with a 94–65              The Dinos didn’t seem to have
win.                                       much left in the tank for Saturday’s
  “Sarah played like a woman               game. They followed the script of
possessed!” exclaimed Dino coach           the first game, taking a 17–16 lead
Shawnee Harle. “That is the best           after the first quarter, but then
I have seen her play in five years.                     See ladysaurs, page 35
34 MARCH 01.07 GAUNTLET SPORTS

                                 Hockeysaurs, cont’d
                                 from page 30
                                 series did not go unnoticed, and             as he stopped 81 of the 86 shots the
                                 earned him the nod as Canada                 Cougars threw at him during the
                                 West men’s hockey player of the              series. To add to his impressive list
                                 week. Talbot has withstood criti-            of feats during this eventful series,
                                 cism during the team’s prolonged             Talbot was also awarded with an
                                 losing skid, as his inconsistent play        assist on Brett O’Malley’s series-
                                 between the pipes has played a               winning goal Sunday afternoon.
                                 crucial role in their lack of suc-              With Sunday’s win, the Dinos
                                 cess. However, Talbot managed                have earned themselves a berth in
                                 to reconnect with the type of play           the Canada West semi-finals, which
                                 that led the Dinos to the top of the         will take place Mar. 2–4 in Saskatoon
                                 division throughout the major-               against the fifth-ranked University of
                                 ity of the regular season, and was           Saskatchewan Huskies. The Dinos
                                 phenomenal during crunch time                split the season series 2–2 with the
                                 Saturday night.                              Huskies, dropping the last two con-
                                    “I don’t hear the criticism if it’s out   tests against the Dogs Jan. 26–27. But
                                 there, it’s playoff time and I knew          the Dinos have shown renewed life
                                 we could win,” said Talbot. “It was          in the post-season, and are not to
                                 easy to stay focused and get it done         be counted out just yet.
                                 this weekend.”                                  “It takes everyone in that dressing
                                    Talbot also leads the Canada West         room leaving it all on the line for
                                 hockey playoff goaltending statistics,       nobody but the guys next to them,”
                                 with a 1.68 goals-against average and        explained Horman. “If we do that,
                                 an impressive .942 save percentage,          then we will bring it home.”
                                                                                                                                                       GAUNTLET SPORTS MARCH 01.07 35

Finished, continued from page 31
minutes were the beginning of quite      solved nothing, leading to a 20-min-   as the team failed to maintain their     is the best place to look for examples   goals in the second period, three
possibly the best hockey ever seen       ute fifth period. All 20 minutes were   focus of the night before. They          of experience and leadership. The        of which came on the powerplay.
at Centennial Arenas. The intensity      not needed, as the U of C’s lead-      began the game without emotion,          young Dinos showed glimpses that         Nerland scored a beauty in the
coming from both teams on the ice        ing scorer, Chelsey Morrill, came      surrendering two goals in the first       they possessed both qualities over       third, but it wasn’t enough, as the
was epic as every skater played with     through in the clutch for her team     10 minutes of the game and allow-        the regular season, but with the         Cougars ended the night ahead
no signs of fatigue and full signs of    yet again halfway in, taking a slick   ing the defensively strong Cougars       exception of the phenomenal play         4–1.
determination. The scoring chances       pass in front of the net and beating   to ease themselves into a protective     of Nerland, game three proved they          “We worked hard but we just
were uncountable, as the game            Stam’s five-hole while falling. The     position. The Dinos were unable to       collectively did not. The team came      couldn’t make it happen,” said
turned into a goaltending duel           Dinos bench, as well as the majority   generate any offence all game long,      out hard but it wasn’t enough, as the    defender Sarah Clowes. “Everyone
between Stam and Dinos starter           of the crowd, who had been holding     managing only 26 shots compared          Cougars sported a slew of veterans,      left everything we had out there.”
Vanessa Frederick. Both made             their breath for so long, erupted in   to 42 the prior night, all of which      including previous acac champi-             “A young team will hurt you in
huge saves, including one penalty        celebration as the Dinos took a 1–0    were stopped by Stam. They lost the      ons. The Cougs came out harder           the playoffs,” said Holden. “We
shot stop for each.                      series lead.                           contest 3–0, leaving the series tied     and excelled in every aspect of the      came a long way from losing to
   “I knew I had to stay focused and        “The game was so intense,” said     and requiring a final and deciding        game.                                    Mount Royal in the opening game
keep calm,” said Frederick about the     Morrill. “Everyone was riled up from   game.                                        Rookie mistakes were only suiting    of the season, but it wasn’t enough.
penalty shot. “I liked the challenge     the drop of the puck and we knew          “At this point it’s not about Xs      for the young Dinos, but they were       Next year we’ll have more leader-
and the intensity.”                      we had it.”                            and Os,” commented head coach            decisively lethal. The Dinos could       ship and we can start clawing our
   The next goal scored was sure            The Dinos were in prime position    Dean Holden about his team’s             not keep up with Mount Royal and         way back to the top, but it doesn’t
to be the winner, which was only         to move on to the next round, only     lack of effort. “It’s about heart and    spent a mass of time in the penalty      happen overnight. This season
suiting because the game required        one win away and heading back          hard work, which we didn’t have          box, which ultimately decided            we built a foundation to work
extra time to be completed. An initial   home for the possible clincher.        tonight.”                                their fate. The strong penalty kill      around in the years ahead. It’s a
10-minute sudden-death overtime          However, something was amiss,             A deciding game in a playoff series   disappeared as mrc scored four           good start.”


Ladysaurs,
cont’d
from page
33
crumbled under Crooks’ stellar
play in the second quarter. After a
mild first quarter, Crooks exploded
for 17 points in the second, and
finished the game with a double-
double, scoring a season high 39
points and 19 boards. In the end,
the b-ballasaurs lost by almost 30
points, with the only bright spot
being the play of their captain
Lindsay Maundrell, who finished
with a double-double, scoring 18
points and grabbing 10 rebounds.
It was her last game in a Dino
uniform.
   “I think it was less about us and
more about Saskatchewan,” said
Harle. “You have to give them
credit. They were not the same team
that was in our gym the weekend
before. In the playoffs, they kicked
their game to another level. We
                                                                        THIS HOUSE WAS
                                                                           178,000
were already playing at our peak



                                                                     $
and didn’t have another level to
climb to.”
   The Huskies will now move on
to play the University of Alberta
Pandas in Edmonton for the
Central Division championship.
The winner of that series will
make their way to the Canada
Interuniversity Sport champion-
ships at Memorial University in St.
John’s, Newfoundland.                                                     For more reasons to choose a health career in
   Calgary is a young team, so this
year’s quick exit from the playoffs                                                   Saskatchewan, visit
can only make the 2007/08 squad
stronger.
   “We had a tremendous season
and it could very well be our turn
next year,” said an optimistic Harle.
                                                                                            s a s katc he wa n .c a
“We only lose one player [this year]
and we have a couple of great recruits
coming in that are going to make
an immediate impact. Everyone
is going to have to watch out next
year.”
                                           2039 House_8x10.indd 1                                                                                                                    1/30/07 1:37:11 PM
36 MARCH 01.07 GAUNTLET
Editor: Danny Kirk—illustrations@gauntlet.ucalgary.ca                                                     comics
   LITTLE BIRDIE                   By: Kaveh Shojaei




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