How to Accept a Breakup
as a Blessing
When someone dumps you the thoughts that go through your head are typically why
followed by questions to try to understand what happened, despair, resolve to win him
back, and finally acceptance. However, there is one more thought that will help you grow.
Here is how to come to terms with the fact that the best thing your ex ever did for you
was to break up.
The first step is to think about the number of fights that you had with your ex.
Then think about what percent of your time you spent with your ex. Divide
the number of fights by the percent of time that you spent with you ex.
Evaluate this number. This is how many fights you could expect to have if
you were together 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Think if this is really what
Now think about when he went out with the guys, maybe to poker. Think
about how you felt when he totally forgot that he was going to see you after
the guys. Think about how you felt. Ask yourself if you want to feel that way
repeatedly for the rest of the life.
Now think about his communication style. Think about how many times he
did things or things happened that he did not tell you about. Think about
how that made you feel. Ask how you would feel if that continued for the
rest of your life.
Now think about major life decisions he made. Did he talk to you when he
bought a house or got a dog? Did he ask your opinion before refinishing the
bedroom floor? Ask yourself how it makes you feel to know that he is not
planning his future around or with you. Do you want a man who makes
major decisions and does not care about how that would affect you? Think
about how it would affect you to get even more connected to him and then
find he accepted a job in Texas.
Analyze everything he said to you during your relationship that seemed
strange. Now put it in context of the breakup. Was he emotionally cheating
on you, stringing you along when he no longer loved you, and just using
you until he found someone he liked more? Think about how that makes
you feel? Do you really was to be someone's toy, backup, etc.?
Think about how you would feel to have a man who is 100% into you and
devoted to you.
Make a list of everything you want from a partner. Check off what your ex
had. Look at that list and notice what he is missing.
Go out and talk to happily married couples. Ask then if they ever had
questions about being a match for each other.
Go out and talk to divorcees and find out how things were when they were
dating and notice the similarities between that and your ex.
Smile and realize you dodged a bullet. The fact that he dumped you now
saved you from wasting years with him and ending up 40, divorced, and
with 4 kid who wonder why their dad is with their babysitter. Realize that
now instead of ending up like the divorced people you talked with, you have
the opportunity to end up like the happily married couple.
Tips & Warnings
Focus on fights
Think about when he ditched you
Think about how he made you feel
Compare his actions to those of divorcees
Evaluate how much better the next guy will be
Think about what you deserve- to love AND be loved