Issue No 25 Friday 5th February 2010 travisty.co.uk The Independent Trinity Newspaper since 2007 Farewell From oli Meet your MISS ADVISE 4 mcFarlane & hello brand new FASHION 5 From alex Sault TCSU 6 SPORT 8 3 Bad Behaviour in College: how should it be dealt with? In a few Cambridge Colleges recently, we have seen wide-ranging punishments impacting on all students due to an act committed by only a select few. The most obvious example of this has been Queens’, but we at Trinity have also received similar treatment. Is such harsh action fair? Or is it simply an unfortunate attempt at the sort of collective punishment normally used with young children? Towards the end of last term, a “serious act of vandalism” was to serve behind the bar due to licensing issues and catering carried out in Cripps’ Court, Queens’ College which resulted staff would have to do this job instead. In an email to students, in over £1000 worth of damage. Without knowledge of who then TCSU President Oliver McFarlane said “this is required the culprits were, and none owning up, the Dean decided that in order to meet licensing laws and to provide college with a until someone came forward there would be a cancellation of better view of what happens at our all “organised fun”. This included the ever popular College ents, ents”. The WPR would apparently and dinners such as Halfway Hall. The latter has recently been have to be renovated such that it was allowed by the Dean, however, in a surprising U-turn. in a good enough state for catering staff to work in it. And thus WPRs The College’s JCR was, naturally, very angry and facebook would be banned until this work was groups to ‘Save Queens’ Ents’ and the like were instantly set complete. up, now with hundreds of members. The problem many point out is that there isn’t any real reason to believe the culprits Many College members were will ever come forward. Indeed, they might not even have therefore shocked to see the usual been Queens’ students and so won’t be experiencing this scene of TCSU running the bar at collective punishment. If no one does come forward, surely the recent Burrell’s Ent in direct this punishment will be indefinite and result in Queens’ being a contradiction to what had been rather sorry place. One JCR rep feared the bar wouldn’t be able claimed the primary reason for our to survive much longer without the money that College ents lack of WPRs. One might also argue bring in. that the constant presence of porters at ents (both WPRs and Burrell’s) In our own College, we’ve also experienced what many would surely means College already has a deem a collective punishment in a ban on WPRs for the rest of very good idea of what goes on at ents. The porters certainly this year. Once again, this was due to an isolated incident which have more authority than catering staff do. So we are naturally the majority of students didn’t even witness as they were in the left wondering what the real reason for the WPR ban is. After Wolfson ground floor foyer. It then came out, however, that all, the WPR was only just ‘renovated’ months ago. this incident was not necessarily the only reason for the ban, but rather it was because College wasn’t aware of how ents were It also seems a fair point to raise that surely it is the fault of being run. College, rather than TCSU or students, if they were unaware how ents were being run. It would hardly take much to walk Seemingly, it was claimed that TCSU were legally not allowed down the stairs to the WPR and have a look at the (usually) well Continued on the next page... Kindly sponsored by 2 IN BRIef friday 5th february 2010 travisty.co.uk behaved, but slightly chaotic scene. It is rather unfortunate that when his punishment might ever end is short sighted and rash. it took a major incident for College to actually do this. In the case of Trinity, College’s motivation is hard to decipher. There is surely no need to punish all students who are entirely The frustration of a Dean who can’t punish those responsible for innocent, yet the other reasons given don’t seem to stand up an act of criminal damage is understandable. However, taking having seen how Burrell’s was run. Maybe we’ll have to wait to this frustration out on his entire College without thought of see the new style WPRs for it all to become clear... Overheard in Trinity... >> Why on earth our undomesticated maneater thought she could ‘manage’ a relationship is beyond me. We’ll see how long she sticks with everyone’s favourite gemini... >> One ‘Famous’ T rinitarian thought October too late for liasing with a junior of the same fame. Who needs privacy settings?! >> Clearly the glamour of being elected to TCSU is enough for a certain adoring fan. Just don’t let the President catch you again... Letter from the Editor Dear Travity Readers, I’m incredibly excited to take over from Ellie as Editor this week, though getting the first issue done has been a bit of a nightmare. Given much of the content is from the new TCSU team, it was all rather last minute to say the least! As I type, copious alcohol from Burrell’s still sloshing away in my tummy, I’m still waiting for a page of content to arrive, and Jason is at the computer next to me writing what is no doubt another gem of a fashion article. He tells me this one will involve camel toes... Many thanks especially to the new TCSU team for sending in their introductions at such short notice, and in particular to Saulty and Oli McFarlane for their new/ex presidential letters. I hope we’ll get plenty of fresh talent in the next few issues, so if anyone wants to write or do a bit of editing they should get in touch straight away. After all, in September I’ll be buggering off to Japan for a year, so Jason and Natasha will need a bit of support I’m sure. And Miss Advise can only be passed on to someone with supreme talent... Not that she’s not a real person or anything. Indeed the only reason I didn’t stand for President this year (and beat Saulty and Oli hands down) is because there would have to be the fuss of a by-election in May. Editor of Travisty is quite clearly a far more influental position anyway. Just ask Jenni what happens when you don’t send in a photo as requested... The TCSU elections themselves were rather interesting and did throw up a few suprises; one being that Ed Hanna didn’t get more RoNs. On a serious note though, well done Ed, and it’s nice to read in your Travisty introduction that you have the exact same aims as Alex Wood did last year. Consistency can never be a bad thing. There were several close-run battles, mainly in Welfare with the women’s election being decided by only 3 votes - clearly Trinity girls prefer bareback. Everyone at Travisty wishes the new TCSU team the best of luck in the year ahead. No doubt there will be trials and tribulations ahead; Burrell’s lighting, condom machines in the toilets, double beds, WPRs (or lack thereof)... actually finding someone who wants to be the Environmental Officer. All the makings of one of the best years of your life! Oh and can someone actually get some ice cream in the Buttery in time for the summer please? I hope you enjoy reading our first attempt, I apologise profusely that the editing is pretty rubbish. Hopefully it’ll come with practice. We’re also about to create a new facebook page so you can all become fans (seriously please become a fan or I’ll look like such a loser) so you can keep up to date with everything we’re doing. Have a great weekend! Chris x friday 5th february 2010 travisty.co.uk 3 Farewell from your outgoing President... oliver Mcfarlane Well, as much of a relief as it is to be here at the end, it will be sad to go. Proud though I goNe But Not foRgotteN am of the progress I made, it is well known that I was not satisfied and would happily have spent another year working on TCSU. Fortunately, it is also well known that I have full faith in Alex having worked closely with her and can guarantee that she will do a fantastic job for all of us. The precedent is now set for cheap stash, superformals and a rebooted WPR. TCSU is a very different beast to this time last year, and I look forward to seeing where it can go in the future. For now though, I’m glad to be slipping out of the public eye. Thank you for the past year and here’s to the future of TCSU! Oli McFarlane ...and greetings from President Sault! Having just returned from Burrell’s clear up - an operation which was completed Alex Sault in record time with record levels of fun (there was even cake) - I am, quite frankly, PuShIN’ It ReAl good excited. Indeed, last night, when the new committee suggested that my proposed meeting time of 10am for clean up was ‘a bit too late, can we start at 9am instead’, I realised that this is going to be a (Str)awesome year. And the level of enthusiasm and commitment is evident not only in the committee’s love of early mornings: so keen are the officers elect to get stuck in, that planning for the next Ent is already well underway, an access recruitment drive has kicked off, and Ed has risen to the challenge of helping Woody ‘store’ the leftover booze. (And to think we don’t even takeover officially until next week.) There’s still time to get involved: the Domestic and Environmental Officer is yet to be elected, and if you think you can rise to the challenge, do submit an application. I’m bouncing with adrenalin. I know that we have a fantastic team here, and one that is going to have a lot of fun representing Trinity students. TCSU, I have no doubt you will do a fantastic job this coming year, and I wish you the very best of luck. Saulty x Turn to page 6 to meet the rest of the team... 4 feAtuReS Miss Advise... friday 5th february 2010 travisty.co.uk What’s Hot Travisty’s resident agony aunt >> Rag Blind date At any other time during the year, the idea Dear Miss Advise, of going on date with a perfect stranger would be incredibly cringe worthy and I’m quite literally fearing for my life! You see, around the start a definite sign of desperation. But RAG of term I slept with this guy (luckily he’s at another college so Blind Date is the one opportunity where I don’t have to see him every day!) and nothing became of it you can sign up to a potentially disastrous so I just moved on and forgot about him. Problem is, I didn’t evening and have a good laugh about it realise he had a psycho-bitch-ex-girlfriend. Apparently, she’s afterwards, when you get paired with a still ridiculously possessive with him and can’t handle him Trinity matho or worse some obnoxious getting any action other than her. rah from the Pitt Club. And it’s all for a good cause. Get keen! A friend at his college said when he slept with a girl at the end of >> roger federer last term, the bunny boiler actually found out where she lived, went In last week’s Australian Open final, to her room and then tried to physically attack her! Luckily her Federer showed once again that he was friend was inside as they’d been chatting and could pull the nut-job still the big man in tennis, defeating off her. What the hell do I do if she tries that with me and I haven’t Andy Murray in straight sets. What a got someone there to protect me?! Do I need a permanent porter legend. presence outside my door? I think they’d probably charge... Ideally I’d want to talk to her to make sure everything’s >> may Balls okay but, with what I’ve heard, I don’t want to give her a The themes and dates have all been chance to get her claws into me! announced. It’s time to start planning your May Week social calendar. Never Please help! mind that exams are in between… it’s only a small detail! But honestly, forget all those other May Balls with their Bricking it in Blue Boar childish themes, all we really need is Trinity May Ball after all! Dear Bricking it in Blue Boar, Well this is very difficult purely because you have no idea what she’s thinking or might do. To be perfectly honest, you can’t even know for sure whether the stories about her are myth or reality. Would it be too much to talk to the boy? He could maybe have a chat with his ex (if he can stand to be around her, that is) and make sure she’s not going to do anything stupid. Informing the porters probably actually isn’t the worst idea! Especially as it’s >> BarBour coats someone from another college so they could easily be removed if it came to that. Though, they might need a bit more to go on than just a rumour, so even more With all this terrible weather we’re having, reason to make sure it’s true. You never know, it might turn out that this is all an it’s perhaps more important than ever to exaggeration, and she could be a half decent person that just hasn’t quite got over invest in some sensible items of clothing her ex yet. that will keep you warm and dry. Luckily, it seems that Barbour coats have snuck their Hope it works out, Email Miss Advise with your problems at way back into fashion. Finally, something fashionable and practical! Miss Advise email@example.com friday 5th february 2010 travisty.co.uk feAtuReS 5 Gender Bender What’s Not Jason ehrhart ActuAlly A MAN >> cold weather I am fully aware that some of you may that matter, while you’re at it, bury them As if we haven’t had enough snow this think that perhaps I’m not the best placed in your oversized mulberry bag, douse year, the weather has decided to go all individual to criticise male adoption of it in kerosene and throw a lit match at it, arctic on us again. I would like to be female fashion trends, but I don’t care. I stand back and watch these bastions of able to feel my fingers and toes at some have been known to wear the odd female femininity burn. Or just don’t buy them in cardigan, even jeans before, but a line must the first place. Either/or. point in the near future! Hurry on up be drawn somewhere, and I’m stepping Spring! out with my thick marker pen to draw it. >>valentine’s day Firstly, my current hatred is male leggings. Yes it’s that time of year again, and What?! Yes, male leggings. For women they are dangerous enough, with the it can be stressful whether you’re in a constant possibility of displaying a camel relationship or not. Singletons feel that toe (Ok, although I’m not an expert in pang of loneliness or sheer annoyance this area thankfully, a camel toe is ahem, every time they walk past a shop well… it’s a woman’s… right, enough, window covered in red hearts, while I feel sick) so just think about the male problem. Fair enough, if you are a the pressure to be romantic and ‘in love’ particularly well endowed gentleman, you can steer any budding relationship may be quite keen to display your assets, towards rocky ground. Who came but I’d rather you didn’t. A slightly larger Put simply, there is a time and a place for up with the idea of Valentine’s Day ‘friend’ of mine thought they were a good men to wear items designed for women anyway, because no one else wants it! idea, ignoring my good advice, and safe to – times where drag is appropriate (no say, he looked heinous, chunky and well, Chris, cross-dressing is not an acceptable a bit blobby really. He’s now the laughing lifestyle choice), when women’s clothes >> coyote ugly stock of London Town and I’m glad. He are a ‘boyfriend’ fit or if they are oversized. So apparently there’s a new Cambridge deserves nothing less. That’s it. There is no discussion on this club night with girls dancing on bars, matter. I apologise if I sound dictatorial, coyote style at NUSHA Bar. Never As if male leggings weren’t enough to I blame the aggression inducing alcohol make you hurl, male Ugg Boots might. that was on offer at Burrells last night. heard of it? Apparently it’s near Yes, they are comfortable, but that doesn’t With those who choose to ignore my Cineworld and the Cambridge Leisure really matter does it. Crocs are apparently advice, take heed – I won’t be angry, I’ll Centre… yeah so miles away right? I a delight to wear, like walking on soft just be disappointed… mean, that’s practically Homerton! If pillows of unadulterated bliss, but it is Burrell’s Field pushes the limits of my inescapable that you appear to be wearing a fugly bucket on your podgy, verucca ‘Cambridge bubble’, I can’t imagine covered feet (I can only picture fat people I’ll be trekking out there anytime soon and nurses wearing them, although I’m – even if there are girls dancing on the prepared to accept that it isn’t only the bar! morbidly obese who idolise these little creations). Back to the matter in hand, male Uggs distress me to the point that >> faux-fur coats I want to lob them in the face of any gay Recently they seem to have come back male hairdresser who has the audacity to into fashion with a vengeance. I guess wear them in my presence. Man up, get a those wearing them are aiming for a pair of sturdy boots and be gone. And for 1920s, glamorous look. But really, it’s in bad taste. Even if they’re not real, The Travisty Committee This Issue’s Contributors why would you want to look like you’re Natasha Pesaran Oliver McFarlane wearing an animal? Editor..................Chris Deacon Chris Deacon Alex Sault Deputy Editor....Jason Ehrhart Jason Ehrhart The TCSU Jess Milligan committee Webmaster....................Bo Tian Treasurer............Nathan Kettle 6 friday 5th february 2010 travisty.co.uk Meet your brand new TCSU James stRawson Arriving in Cambridge in 2006, James quickly made waves in the break-dancing scene, leading - vice President the Trinity team to their first cuppers victory ever, although an unfortunate injury put an end to this promising career. Since then, his fresh, innovative (some would say dangerous) approach to sonnet writing has, according to Varisty, made him a “big deal in the Cambridge literature scene”. Being on TCSU has been a long-standing ambition of his, where he hopes to represent the views of the silent majority, whatever those views may be. He has always drawn inspiration from his loving parents, particularly his mother who achieved the highest number of kills in the Falklands war of any female sniper. In his free time, James enjoys cooking, knitting and boogie-boarding. 1st Year Historian from Nottingham (yes, it is north of London) Josh mills - male welfare During my time in TCSU my main aims are: - To ensure that the college and university pastrol care networks are better integrated into daily life in the college - Work closely with the Female Welfare Officer to support fellow students in all aspects of university life - Establish the Men of Trinity and get as many people involved as possible - Set up a programme of events for Easter Term and Freshers’ Week - Run a drop-in hour twice a week, and use this time effectively to talk to other students/challenge them to Guitar Hero KAte wiles 1st Year Natural Scientist from Princeton, USA - female welfare Likes: Brown bread ice cream, Bridget Jones, sequins Dislikes: Black pudding, alarm clocks, mess - Be available at any time to listen to your concerns, offer you advice, and provide you with contraception - Improve the safety of females around college - Redesign the welfare board to ensure a reliable and accessible source of information 2nd year physicist, musician and sometime rower from Ealing, London sasha KAsas - treasurer Aims: - Get on top of college accounts and ensure the TCSU committee never has to worry about funding - Help out the committee as much as possible and come up with ideas for making things better vicky sPence 1st year studying Chinese (ie completely insane) - secretary - An organised efficient committee that gets things done. - More ways for students to suggest TCSU agenda items. - Keeping the peace in meetings… 7 friday 5th february 2010 travisty.co.uk 2nd year, Economics, from Devon (nb this is important) edmund hanna - services - Expand and improve the bar at TCSU ents, listening to feedback and offering drinks people want - Coordinate the best possible arrangement for funding the clubs and societies of Trinity through Amalgamated Clubs Committee - Liaise with catering to continue to improve facilities despite the turbulent year ahead Jenni heeks 2nd year histo, from Bolton. - ents - Is from bolton so fully able to deal with rowdiness/sluttishness - Looking for stuff to do while we don’t have the WPR - first ent coming VERY shortly - When WPR comes back, will restore it to its former glory whilst choosing themes that are not ridiKulous. Jenni and a baby. I would like to make the international community of Trinity even stronger by organising alexey morgunov international formals within Trinity and with other colleges; and by encouraging setting - overseas welfare up and participating in existing cultural societies on College and University level. From just chatting about things back home in your native language to more formal cultural evenings where anyone can learn a great deal about a foreign nation – the possibilities are endless with the diverse community we have. KAtie lam 1st Year Classicist from Guildford in Surrey - access - Explore opportunities to run a summer residential course for prospective candidates - Bring back the Access Bus - Double the number of Target Visits - Get the Alternative Prospectus online - Produce a clear and concise flyer outlining financial help available to undergraduates Bo tian I’m a first year computer science student. My aims and objectives are to: - PuBlicity and comPuting - Continue to bring latest information and events to everyone. - Organise information into easily accessible forms. - Encourage active participation and feedback from all members of the college. - Support other committee members and all students. 8 SPoRt ANd dRAMA friday 5th february 2010 travisty.co.uk Women’s Hockey Jess Milligan youtuBe hottIe This sporting year has been hilariously successful - hold onto your shin-pads. The ladies hockey team have won a match. We’ve scored seven goals. We’ve even had an average of 9 players per game. We made it to round two of cuppers. And I can’t remember the number of the opposition we’ve injured. Unkind people have, in the past, mocked our team who brave snow, sleet, sneers and seven-men-down matches to keep Trinity where they belong in the league. Players have been knocked out, knocked up, and now we are looking for new recruitments for next season. A certain blonde - they are not afraid to throw their weight and sticks into babe in G staircase is back from injury - she’s suffered 5 every tackle. years of chronic laziness - and so things are looking up. A spectator who wished to remain anonymous Our tactics for next season? Tighter marking, tighter commented: “Your ladies tackle, tease and tantalise shorts and more personalized kit with double meanings. with every reverse-stick manoeuver, it’s a shame you Our forwards need to get a little further forward if we don’t have a full team.” So, join now: steel your hearts, want to score a few more goals. Points go to our beginners scamper to Old Fields, and you’re guaranteed to score. Drama PALE HORSE By Joe Penhall Directed by our very own MATT KILROY Corpus Christi Playroom 7.30pm Tuesday 2nd – Saturday 6th February 2010 ‘Funny bloke, Charles. He’s a lovely man. One of the best. But you know the only trouble is he’s a nutter.’ Come and see this darkly comic thriller by award-winning playwright Joe Penhall (recent film work includes the screenplays for Ian McEwan’s Enduring Love and Cormac McCarthy’s The Road) in this fast-paced production, featuring razor-sharp dialogue, a raucous contemporary soundtrack from London artists, and more macabre hilarity than you can shake a baseball bat at. Tickets can be bought during the week of the performance from The Cambridge Arts Theatre Box Office, either by visiting or by calling 01223 503333, and can be bought on the night from The Cambridge Arts Theatre stage door, next to the Corpus Christi Playroom.