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					Issue No 25                     Friday 5th February 2010                      travisty.co.uk




                                           The Independent Trinity Newspaper since 2007


 Farewell From oli                Meet your                         MISS ADVISE 4
 mcFarlane & hello                brand new                         FASHION             5
  From alex Sault
                                    TCSU                   6        SPORT               8
                      3



     Bad Behaviour in College:
    how should it be dealt with?
In a few Cambridge Colleges recently, we have seen wide-ranging punishments impacting on all students due to an
act committed by only a select few. The most obvious example of this has been Queens’, but we at Trinity have also
received similar treatment. Is such harsh action fair? Or is it simply an unfortunate attempt at the sort of collective
punishment normally used with young children?
Towards the end of last term, a “serious act of vandalism” was       to serve behind the bar due to licensing issues and catering
carried out in Cripps’ Court, Queens’ College which resulted         staff would have to do this job instead. In an email to students,
in over £1000 worth of damage. Without knowledge of who              then TCSU President Oliver McFarlane said “this is required
the culprits were, and none owning up, the Dean decided that         in order to meet licensing laws and to provide college with a
until someone came forward there would be a cancellation of                                     better view of what happens at our
all “organised fun”. This included the ever popular College ents,                               ents”. The WPR would apparently
and dinners such as Halfway Hall. The latter has recently been                                  have to be renovated such that it was
allowed by the Dean, however, in a surprising U-turn.                                           in a good enough state for catering
                                                                                                staff to work in it. And thus WPRs
The College’s JCR was, naturally, very angry and facebook                                       would be banned until this work was
groups to ‘Save Queens’ Ents’ and the like were instantly set                                   complete.
up, now with hundreds of members. The problem many point
out is that there isn’t any real reason to believe the culprits                                Many College members were
will ever come forward. Indeed, they might not even have                                       therefore shocked to see the usual
been Queens’ students and so won’t be experiencing this                                        scene of TCSU running the bar at
collective punishment. If no one does come forward, surely                                     the recent Burrell’s Ent in direct
this punishment will be indefinite and result in Queens’ being a                               contradiction to what had been
rather sorry place. One JCR rep feared the bar wouldn’t be able                                claimed the primary reason for our
to survive much longer without the money that College ents                                     lack of WPRs. One might also argue
bring in.                                                                                      that the constant presence of porters
                                                                                               at ents (both WPRs and Burrell’s)
In our own College, we’ve also experienced what many would                                     surely means College already has a
deem a collective punishment in a ban on WPRs for the rest of        very good idea of what goes on at ents. The porters certainly
this year. Once again, this was due to an isolated incident which    have more authority than catering staff do. So we are naturally
the majority of students didn’t even witness as they were in the     left wondering what the real reason for the WPR ban is. After
Wolfson ground floor foyer. It then came out, however, that          all, the WPR was only just ‘renovated’ months ago.
this incident was not necessarily the only reason for the ban,
but rather it was because College wasn’t aware of how ents were      It also seems a fair point to raise that surely it is the fault of
being run.                                                           College, rather than TCSU or students, if they were unaware
                                                                     how ents were being run. It would hardly take much to walk
Seemingly, it was claimed that TCSU were legally not allowed         down the stairs to the WPR and have a look at the (usually) well

                                                                                               Continued on the next page...
                                                                                               Kindly sponsored by
2 IN BRIef                                                                                                    friday 5th february 2010
                                                                                                                          travisty.co.uk


behaved, but slightly chaotic scene. It is rather unfortunate that   when his punishment might ever end is short sighted and rash.
it took a major incident for College to actually do this.            In the case of Trinity, College’s motivation is hard to decipher.
                                                                     There is surely no need to punish all students who are entirely
The frustration of a Dean who can’t punish those responsible for     innocent, yet the other reasons given don’t seem to stand up
an act of criminal damage is understandable. However, taking         having seen how Burrell’s was run. Maybe we’ll have to wait to
this frustration out on his entire College without thought of        see the new style WPRs for it all to become clear...


              Overheard in Trinity...
        >> Why on earth our undomesticated maneater thought she could ‘manage’ a relationship
is beyond me. We’ll see how long she sticks with everyone’s favourite gemini...

>> One ‘Famous’ T  rinitarian thought October too late for liasing with a junior of the same fame. Who
needs privacy settings?!

>> Clearly the glamour of being elected to TCSU is enough for a certain adoring fan. Just don’t let
the President catch you again...

Letter from the Editor
Dear Travity Readers,

I’m incredibly excited to take over from Ellie as Editor this week, though getting the first issue done has been a bit of a
nightmare. Given much of the content is from the new TCSU team, it was all rather last minute to say the least! As I type,
copious alcohol from Burrell’s still sloshing away in my tummy, I’m still waiting for a page of content to arrive, and Jason
is at the computer next to me writing what is no doubt another gem of a fashion article. He tells me this one will involve
camel toes... Many thanks especially to the new TCSU team for sending in their introductions at such short notice, and in
particular to Saulty and Oli McFarlane for their new/ex presidential letters.

I hope we’ll get plenty of fresh talent in the next few issues, so if anyone wants to write or do a bit of editing they should get
in touch straight away. After all, in September I’ll be buggering off to Japan for a year, so Jason and Natasha will need a bit of
support I’m sure. And Miss Advise can only be passed on to someone with supreme talent... Not that she’s not a real person
or anything. Indeed the only reason I didn’t stand for President this year (and beat Saulty and Oli hands down) is because
there would have to be the fuss of a by-election in May. Editor of Travisty is quite clearly a far more influental position
anyway. Just ask Jenni what happens when you don’t send in a photo as requested...

The TCSU elections themselves were rather interesting and did throw up a few suprises; one being that Ed Hanna didn’t
get more RoNs. On a serious note though, well done Ed, and it’s nice to read in your Travisty introduction that you have
the exact same aims as Alex Wood did last year. Consistency can never be a bad thing. There were several close-run battles,
mainly in Welfare with the women’s election being decided by only 3 votes - clearly Trinity girls prefer bareback.

Everyone at Travisty wishes the new TCSU team the best of luck in the year ahead. No doubt there will be trials and
tribulations ahead; Burrell’s lighting, condom machines in the toilets, double beds, WPRs (or lack thereof)... actually
finding someone who wants to be the Environmental Officer. All the makings of one of the best years of your life! Oh and
can someone actually get some ice cream in the Buttery in time for the summer please?

I hope you enjoy reading our first attempt, I apologise profusely that the editing is pretty rubbish. Hopefully it’ll come with
practice. We’re also about to create a new facebook page so you can all become fans (seriously please become a fan or I’ll look
like such a loser) so you can keep up to date with everything we’re doing.

Have a great weekend!

Chris x
friday 5th february 2010
travisty.co.uk                                                                                                         3
Farewell from your outgoing President...
oliver Mcfarlane            Well, as much of a relief as it is to be here at the end, it will be sad to go. Proud though I
goNe But Not foRgotteN
                            am of the progress I made, it is well known that I was not satisfied and would happily have
                            spent another year working on TCSU. Fortunately, it is also well known that I have full
                            faith in Alex having worked closely with her and can guarantee that she will do a fantastic
                            job for all of us.

                            The precedent is now set for cheap stash, superformals and a rebooted WPR. TCSU is a
                            very different beast to this time last year, and I look forward to seeing where it can go in
                            the future. For now though, I’m glad to be slipping out of the public eye.

                            Thank you for the past year and here’s to the future of TCSU!

                            Oli McFarlane



...and greetings from President Sault!
Having just returned from Burrell’s clear up - an operation which was completed Alex Sault
in record time with record levels of fun (there was even cake) - I am, quite frankly, PuShIN’ It ReAl good
excited. Indeed, last night, when the new committee suggested that my proposed
meeting time of 10am for clean up was ‘a bit too late, can we start at 9am instead’,
I realised that this is going to be a (Str)awesome year. And the level of enthusiasm
and commitment is evident not only in the committee’s love of early mornings: so
keen are the officers elect to get stuck in, that planning for the next Ent is already
well underway, an access recruitment drive has kicked off, and Ed has risen to
the challenge of helping Woody ‘store’ the leftover booze. (And to think we don’t
even takeover officially until next week.)

There’s still time to get involved: the Domestic and Environmental Officer is
yet to be elected, and if you think you can rise to the challenge, do submit an
application.

I’m bouncing with adrenalin. I know that we have a fantastic team here, and one that is going to have a lot of fun
representing Trinity students.

TCSU, I have no doubt you will do a fantastic job this coming year, and I wish you the very best of luck.

Saulty x




Turn to page 6 to meet the rest of the team...
4 feAtuReS
                                               Miss Advise...
                                                                                                                        friday 5th february 2010
                                                                                                                                    travisty.co.uk



What’s Hot                                     Travisty’s resident agony aunt
>> Rag Blind date
At any other time during the year, the idea    Dear Miss Advise,
of going on date with a perfect stranger
would be incredibly cringe worthy and          I’m quite literally fearing for my life! You see, around the start
a definite sign of desperation. But RAG        of term I slept with this guy (luckily he’s at another college so
Blind Date is the one opportunity where        I don’t have to see him every day!) and nothing became of it
you can sign up to a potentially disastrous    so I just moved on and forgot about him. Problem is, I didn’t
evening and have a good laugh about it         realise he had a psycho-bitch-ex-girlfriend. Apparently, she’s
afterwards, when you get paired with a         still ridiculously possessive with him and can’t handle him
Trinity matho or worse some obnoxious          getting any action other than her.
rah from the Pitt Club. And it’s all for a
good cause. Get keen!
                                               A friend at his college said when he slept with a girl at the end of
>> roger federer                               last term, the bunny boiler actually found out where she lived, went
In last week’s Australian Open final,          to her room and then tried to physically attack her! Luckily her
Federer showed once again that he was          friend was inside as they’d been chatting and could pull the nut-job
still the big man in tennis, defeating         off her. What the hell do I do if she tries that with me and I haven’t
Andy Murray in straight sets. What a           got someone there to protect me?! Do I need a permanent porter
legend.                                        presence outside my door? I think they’d probably charge...
                                               Ideally I’d want to talk to her to make sure everything’s
>> may Balls                                   okay but, with what I’ve heard, I don’t want to give her a
The themes and dates have all been             chance to get her claws into me!
announced. It’s time to start planning
your May Week social calendar. Never
                                               Please help!
mind that exams are in between… it’s
only a small detail! But honestly, forget
all those other May Balls with their           Bricking it in Blue Boar
childish themes, all we really need is
Trinity May Ball after all!

                                               Dear Bricking it in Blue Boar,

                                               Well this is very difficult purely because you have no
                                               idea what she’s thinking or might do. To be perfectly
                                               honest, you can’t even know for sure whether the
                                               stories about her are myth or reality. Would it be
                                               too much to talk to the boy? He could maybe have
                                               a chat with his ex (if he can stand to be around
                                               her, that is) and make sure she’s not going to do
                                               anything stupid.
                                               Informing the porters probably actually isn’t the worst idea! Especially as it’s
>> BarBour coats                               someone from another college so they could easily be removed if it came to that.
                                               Though, they might need a bit more to go on than just a rumour, so even more
With all this terrible weather we’re having,
                                               reason to make sure it’s true. You never know, it might turn out that this is all an
it’s perhaps more important than ever to       exaggeration, and she could be a half decent person that just hasn’t quite got over
invest in some sensible items of clothing      her ex yet.
that will keep you warm and dry. Luckily,
it seems that Barbour coats have snuck their   Hope it works out,
                                                                                      Email Miss Advise with your problems at
way back into fashion. Finally, something
fashionable and practical!                     Miss Advise                             travistymissadvise@googlemail.com
friday 5th february 2010
travisty.co.uk                                                                                      feAtuReS 5
              Gender Bender                                                                      What’s Not
Jason ehrhart
ActuAlly A MAN
                                                                                                 >> cold weather
I am fully aware that some of you may          that matter, while you’re at it, bury them        As if we haven’t had enough snow this
think that perhaps I’m not the best placed     in your oversized mulberry bag, douse             year, the weather has decided to go all
individual to criticise male adoption of       it in kerosene and throw a lit match at it,       arctic on us again. I would like to be
female fashion trends, but I don’t care. I     stand back and watch these bastions of            able to feel my fingers and toes at some
have been known to wear the odd female         femininity burn. Or just don’t buy them in
cardigan, even jeans before, but a line must   the first place. Either/or.                       point in the near future! Hurry on up
be drawn somewhere, and I’m stepping                                                             Spring!
out with my thick marker pen to draw it.
                                                                                           >>valentine’s day
Firstly, my current hatred is male leggings.                                               Yes it’s that time of year again, and
What?! Yes, male leggings. For women
they are dangerous enough, with the                                                        it can be stressful whether you’re in a
constant possibility of displaying a camel                                                 relationship or not. Singletons feel that
toe (Ok, although I’m not an expert in                                                     pang of loneliness or sheer annoyance
this area thankfully, a camel toe is ahem,                                                 every time they walk past a shop
well… it’s a woman’s… right, enough,                                                       window covered in red hearts, while
I feel sick) so just think about the male
problem. Fair enough, if you are a                                                         the pressure to be romantic and ‘in love’
particularly well endowed gentleman, you                                                   can steer any budding relationship
may be quite keen to display your assets,                                                  towards rocky ground. Who came
but I’d rather you didn’t. A slightly larger   Put simply, there is a time and a place for up with the idea of Valentine’s Day
‘friend’ of mine thought they were a good      men to wear items designed for women anyway, because no one else wants it!
idea, ignoring my good advice, and safe to     – times where drag is appropriate (no
say, he looked heinous, chunky and well,       Chris, cross-dressing is not an acceptable
a bit blobby really. He’s now the laughing     lifestyle choice), when women’s clothes           >> coyote ugly
stock of London Town and I’m glad. He          are a ‘boyfriend’ fit or if they are oversized.   So apparently there’s a new Cambridge
deserves nothing less.                         That’s it. There is no discussion on this         club night with girls dancing on bars,
                                               matter. I apologise if I sound dictatorial,       coyote style at NUSHA Bar. Never
As if male leggings weren’t enough to          I blame the aggression inducing alcohol
make you hurl, male Ugg Boots might.           that was on offer at Burrells last night.         heard of it? Apparently it’s near
Yes, they are comfortable, but that doesn’t    With those who choose to ignore my                Cineworld and the Cambridge Leisure
really matter does it. Crocs are apparently    advice, take heed – I won’t be angry, I’ll        Centre… yeah so miles away right? I
a delight to wear, like walking on soft        just be disappointed…                             mean, that’s practically Homerton! If
pillows of unadulterated bliss, but it is                                                        Burrell’s Field pushes the limits of my
inescapable that you appear to be wearing
a fugly bucket on your podgy, verucca                                                            ‘Cambridge bubble’, I can’t imagine
covered feet (I can only picture fat people                                                      I’ll be trekking out there anytime soon
and nurses wearing them, although I’m                                                            – even if there are girls dancing on the
prepared to accept that it isn’t only the                                                        bar!
morbidly obese who idolise these little
creations). Back to the matter in hand,
male Uggs distress me to the point that                                         >> faux-fur coats
I want to lob them in the face of any gay                                       Recently they seem to have come back
male hairdresser who has the audacity to                                        into fashion with a vengeance. I guess
wear them in my presence. Man up, get a                                         those wearing them are aiming for a
pair of sturdy boots and be gone. And for                                       1920s, glamorous look. But really, it’s
                                                                                in bad taste. Even if they’re not real,
The Travisty Committee                         This Issue’s Contributors        why would you want to look like you’re
                                               Natasha Pesaran Oliver McFarlane wearing an animal?
Editor..................Chris Deacon           Chris Deacon               Alex Sault
Deputy Editor....Jason Ehrhart                 Jason Ehrhart              The TCSU
                                               Jess Milligan              committee
Webmaster....................Bo Tian
Treasurer............Nathan Kettle
6
                                                                                                          friday 5th february 2010
                                                                                                                      travisty.co.uk



                 Meet your brand new
                                          TCSU
James stRawson Arriving in Cambridge in 2006, James quickly made waves in the break-dancing scene, leading
- vice President
                       the Trinity team to their first cuppers victory ever, although an unfortunate injury put an end to
                       this promising career. Since then, his fresh, innovative (some would say dangerous) approach
                       to sonnet writing has, according to Varisty, made him a “big deal in the Cambridge literature
                       scene”. Being on TCSU has been a long-standing ambition of his, where he hopes to represent
                       the views of the silent majority, whatever those views may be. He has always drawn inspiration
                       from his loving parents, particularly his mother who achieved the highest number of kills in
                       the Falklands war of any female sniper. In his free time, James enjoys cooking, knitting and
                       boogie-boarding.
1st Year Historian from Nottingham (yes, it is north of London)                                               Josh mills
                                                                                                           - male welfare
During my time in TCSU my main aims are:
- To ensure that the college and university pastrol care networks are better integrated into daily life
in the college
- Work closely with the Female Welfare Officer to support fellow students in all aspects of university
life
- Establish the Men of Trinity and get as many people involved as possible
- Set up a programme of events for Easter Term and Freshers’ Week
- Run a drop-in hour twice a week, and use this time effectively to talk to other students/challenge
them to Guitar Hero
    KAte wiles   1st Year Natural Scientist from Princeton, USA
- female welfare
                         Likes: Brown bread ice cream, Bridget Jones, sequins
                         Dislikes: Black pudding, alarm clocks, mess

                         - Be available at any time to listen to your concerns, offer you advice, and provide you with
                         contraception
                         - Improve the safety of females around college
                         - Redesign the welfare board to ensure a reliable and accessible source of information
    2nd year physicist, musician and sometime rower from Ealing, London                                      sasha KAsas
                                                                                                             - treasurer
    Aims:
    - Get on top of college accounts and ensure the TCSU committee never has to worry about
    funding
    - Help out the committee as much as possible and come up with ideas for making things better


    vicky sPence        1st year studying Chinese (ie completely insane)
     - secretary
                        - An organised efficient committee that gets things done.
                        - More ways for students to suggest TCSU agenda items.
                        - Keeping the peace in meetings…
                                                                                                                      7
friday 5th february 2010
travisty.co.uk


  2nd year, Economics, from Devon (nb this is important)                                            edmund hanna
                                                                                                      - services
  - Expand and improve the bar at TCSU ents, listening to feedback and offering drinks people
  want
  - Coordinate the best possible arrangement for funding the clubs and societies of Trinity
  through Amalgamated Clubs Committee
  - Liaise with catering to continue to improve facilities despite the turbulent year ahead




    Jenni heeks            2nd year histo, from Bolton.
       - ents
                           - Is from bolton so fully able to deal with rowdiness/sluttishness
                           - Looking for stuff to do while we don’t have the WPR - first ent coming VERY shortly
                           - When WPR comes back, will restore it to its former glory whilst choosing themes that are
                           not ridiKulous.




    Jenni and a baby.


  I would like to make the international community of Trinity even stronger by organising alexey morgunov
  international formals within Trinity and with other colleges; and by encouraging setting - overseas welfare
  up and participating in existing cultural societies on College and University level. From
  just chatting about things back home in your native language to more formal cultural
  evenings where anyone can learn a great deal about a foreign nation – the possibilities are
  endless with the diverse community we have.



       KAtie lam           1st Year Classicist from Guildford in Surrey
        - access
                           - Explore opportunities to run a summer residential course for prospective candidates
                           - Bring back the Access Bus
                           - Double the number of Target Visits
                           - Get the Alternative Prospectus online
                           - Produce a clear and concise flyer outlining financial help available to undergraduates



                                                                                                 Bo tian
   I’m a first year computer science student. My aims and objectives are to:           - PuBlicity and comPuting

   - Continue to bring latest information and events to everyone.
   - Organise information into easily accessible forms.
   - Encourage active participation and feedback from all members of the college.
   - Support other committee members and all students.
8 SPoRt ANd dRAMA                                                                            friday 5th february 2010
                                                                                                         travisty.co.uk




                 Women’s Hockey
Jess Milligan
youtuBe hottIe

This sporting year has been hilariously successful - hold
onto your shin-pads.

The ladies hockey team have won a match. We’ve scored
seven goals. We’ve even had an average of 9 players per
game. We made it to round two of cuppers. And I can’t
remember the number of the opposition we’ve injured.

Unkind people have, in the past, mocked our team who
brave snow, sleet, sneers and seven-men-down matches to
keep Trinity where they belong in the league. Players have
been knocked out, knocked up, and now we are looking
for new recruitments for next season. A certain blonde - they are not afraid to throw their weight and sticks into
babe in G staircase is back from injury - she’s suffered 5 every tackle.
years of chronic laziness - and so things are looking up.
                                                           A spectator who wished to remain anonymous
Our tactics for next season? Tighter marking, tighter commented: “Your ladies tackle, tease and tantalise
shorts and more personalized kit with double meanings. with every reverse-stick manoeuver, it’s a shame you
Our forwards need to get a little further forward if we don’t have a full team.” So, join now: steel your hearts,
want to score a few more goals. Points go to our beginners scamper to Old Fields, and you’re guaranteed to score.


          Drama
                     PALE HORSE
                     By Joe Penhall

       Directed by our very own MATT KILROY

               Corpus Christi Playroom
                       7.30pm
       Tuesday 2nd – Saturday 6th February 2010

‘Funny bloke, Charles. He’s a lovely man. One of the best.
     But you know the only trouble is he’s a nutter.’

Come and see this darkly comic thriller by award-winning
playwright Joe Penhall (recent film work includes the
screenplays for Ian McEwan’s Enduring Love and Cormac
McCarthy’s The Road) in this fast-paced production,
featuring razor-sharp dialogue, a raucous contemporary
soundtrack from London artists, and more macabre
        hilarity than you can shake a baseball bat at.

Tickets can be bought during the week of the performance
from The Cambridge Arts Theatre Box Office, either by
visiting or by calling 01223 503333, and can be bought
on the night from The Cambridge Arts Theatre stage door,
           next to the Corpus Christi Playroom.