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UPDATES ON PAYTON

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UPDATES ON PAYTON Powered By Docstoc
					UPDATES ON PAYTON

5/22/06

We can’t thank everyone enough for all the support, thoughts and prayers that we have
received from our family, friends and community. We are overwhelmed with the
outpouring of affection for Payton. She is truly blessed to have so many family and
friends that care so much for her. She is a fighter and has been unbelievably strong
throughout this ordeal. Our family can’t thank each and every one of you individually.
but please know that we truly do thank you all for everything you have done (especially
the prayers).

Payton came home yesterday after the Neurosurgeon said that she was doing well. She
would do better at home and all we were doing was waiting for the pathology report to
come back. We have our appointment on Thursday to meet with the neurosurgeon and
to hopefully get the pathology report back as to what we are dealing with. Payton has
been so brave and so much stronger than we have been. One of our biggest thanks has
been to our ER doctor, Dr. Morelli, he truly saved our daughters life. He pushed for her
to have an MRI and found out that she had a tumor, when we were only thinking it was
rheumatoid arthritis. Six days later he is still calling to see how she is doing.
She has had such an impact on everyone that sees her and comes in contact with her and
even those who just hear about her.

At this time she is playing, loves being home, loves her chocolate, her friends and sisters.
We have a hard time keeping her off her feet to rest her back which she paid for tonight
because she is so tired.

We will keep updating this site and again want to thank everyone for your support and
prayers.

Love
Holly, Patrick, Savanna, Sydney and Payton.

5/23
Hi everyone, this is MiMi, Payton’s grandma. I too would like to thank everyone for your
prayers and support. Payton has been such a brave little girl throughout this entire (is it
only a week?) time. It seems like an eternity since I got off the Plane from Pittsburgh and
took her with her Daddy to All Children’s Hospital in Tampa. We thought we were
dealing with rheumatoid arthritis, or diskitis, as our dear Dr. Morelli, the ER Doctor
supposed. It was due to his perseverance and excellent diagnostic skills that pushed the
MRI that found the tumor on Payton’s spine. The neurosurgical team came to the hospital
an hour latter, reviewed the MRI and told us that they didn’t need to do surgery that
night, but would schedule it for the next day! WOW! Of course, they were worried that
the tumor was causing nerve damage.
Have we also mentioned that my daughter, Holly, Payton’s mommy, was, herself, in bed
at home with a terrible stomach virus that left her unable to even stand up straight. She
really didn’t feel good until Sunday. Mimi had to keep calling Holly’s doctor in
Sarasota, for all kinds of drugs! At one point, we thought we would have to take her to
the ER.

So far, everything is much better. Payton is home, playing with her sisters and friends and
there has been such an outpouring of love that is has left me breathless. Payton’s other
grandma and grandpa are still here, PaPa Porter went back home on Sunday. I have taken
a leave from my job back home to help hold down the fort. Holly’s sister Kym and her
children will be coming for Memorial Day Weekend to give everyone hugs.

Thursday is the big day. We will see Dr Storrs, the neurosurgeon then and will hear the
pathology report. Please pray that we will hear good news.

That’s all for now. Love to all…..MiMi


5/25/06

Hi Everyone, Well we went to the Doctor today. We finally got the Pathology Report
back and have a diagnosis of Primitive Neuroectodermal Tumor or PNET. We have been
referred to the oncologists at All Childrens, and they are scheduling staging tests for
Payton. Probably tomorrow. I have calls in to professionals that I know, one of whom is
a Neuro Oncologist in Pittsburgh. If anyone knows anyone who is a Pediatric Neuro
Oncologist, in Johns Hopkins, or Dana Farber, or elsewhere, let us know, as we want to
get another opinion on treatment options. So far it looks like Payton is facing Chemo.

Payton is so full of life and happy. She has no idea what is going on. She doesn’t know
why her mommy is crying.

That’s all for now. Please continue to pray for Payton and her mommy and daddy.

Love, MiMi

5/31/06

This is a very important week for Payton. She is going through several tests, including a
CT scan, chest x-ray, PET scan, bone marrow, labs, and insertion of a port in her chest to
admin chemo. We also should find out tomorrow whether the cancer has spread
anywhere else. Praying it has not. She is going to need 8-9 months of chemo, every 2-3
weeks. The chemo will last for 4-6 days, so we will need to be in the hospital for that
length of time every 2-3 weeks. She will also need radiation therapy that we will need to
be out of town for 2-6 weeks, either in Gainesville or Harvard. This is going to be a very
long and tough year for Payton, but she is very strong and will make it through
everything.
We truly appreciate everyone’s thoughts and prayers for Payton and our family. Please
keep her in your thoughts.
Thank you to all.
Love
Patrick (dad)

Hello Everyone!

Patrick and I wake up every morning and are so touched and grateful for all of our friends
and family. We are overwhelmed by the pouring of prayers and good wishes. We can
not possibly thank each and everyone of you enough for trying to help my baby. Patrick
and I are very scared about what we will be finding out on Thursday. She will be having
the last of her tests (the bone marrow) as well as her placement of her chemo port. We
never thought we would be looking forward to the day she gets chemo. We want it
started before this horrific disease takes over. My daughter is so brave. I wish you all
could be here to witness her strong will. Savanna and Sydney are doing Ok. My Sydney
girl is having a harder time with everything. We do alot of therapy play to get her to
express herself. I know alot of you have not only said prayers for Payton but also to our
family. Thank you for that. My older girls are also scared for their sister and are so
young to really understand the process. I am in such a cloud so I am sorry if I repeat
Patrick on the updates. My mother and I will be going to Philadelphia with Payton
hopefully June 16th to see a world renown doctor that has done many, many, studies on
the type of cancer Payton has. He will be guiding her treatments. He needs to physically
see her in order to provide the treatments. Payton will be treated at All
Children's but the doctor from Philadelphia will be calling the shots. I also wanted to let
all of you know that I am a very tearful mother. I apologize for not being able to
communicate via telephone to some of you who have called. I try very hard to keep it
together around my girls especially my dear Payton. However, when I get a few
moments I am usually in my closet crying. I know how dear all of you are to me and I
know and hope you understand. I promise I will try to get the phone calls coming, just
give me a bit of time. Patrick has been wonderful with communicating to you all. Please
know that he speaks for our family. I am not one to ask people for anything, however, I
need all of your support and prayers. My baby girl needs all the thoughts and prayers you
can give. Thank you all for everything.

All my love and prayers to all of you
Holly

June 2, 2006

We are so blessed to have so much support from family and friends throughout the
country. And those of you in our community who have overwhelmed us with love and
support as well we thank all of you.
GOOD NEWS! It couldn't of come at a better time. We got home about 8:30 PM last
night, Thurs, after getting to the hospital at 5:30 AM, very long and emotional day.
Payton had surgery at 7:30 AM to place a double lumen port under he skin in the upper
left region of her chest. She also had two incisions in her lower back to extra bone
marrow. She was a trooper yesterday and up and walking around 20 min after the
surgery. Although very tired, sore and cranky most of the day. The doctors gave us good
news though for the first time in 2 weeks. It doesn't appear that the cancer/tumor has
spread! We are not 100%, but so far it looks good. The bone marrow extracted
yesterday, at least first glance appears to be free of any cancer cells. The PET scan
taking on Weds looks good as well. We were concerned about two spots on her lungs,
but they look to be collapsed air sacks from the anesthesia. Still getting no sleep, she was
up all last night again and threw up in our bed at 5:30 AM.
We thought they were going to start chemo today and still might, but looks more like
Tue/Wed of next week. She looks very week this morning, but she didn't have anything
to eat for 20 hours yesterday and she hasn't slept through the night in almost 3 months.
We are going to try and get her strength up this weekend. We still have a very long road
ahead of us, especially Payton. But as you all know she is a fighter and you can see by
the video on her web site that she is indeed. My office and I will continue to update the
site as we can. Please feel free to pass this on to anyone who is thinking of Payton.

Thanks doesn't seem to say it all, but know we appreciate you all.
Patrick and Holly

JUNE 8, 2006

The pathology report finally came back with what type of tumor/cancer Payton has. It is
called a Medulloepethelioma tumor. This is a type of brain cancer even though her tumor
is not in the brain, but the Central Nervous System, CNS. The reason it took so long
and why there has been disagreement from Pathology Labs throughout the country is that
it is so rare. CHOP only has seen this type of tumor 2 times in the last year. Children's
hospital in Houston has seen it once in the last 3 years. It probably happens or is reported
less than 10 times a year. Unfortunately, there isn't a specific trial that can be compared
to what Payton has, but the doctors have narrowed it down to 3 protocols. They are
deciding this morning which to go with and will start chemo today with a road map.
This tumor is very aggressive, more chances of reoccurrence and harder to cure. We will
need to go to Boston for radiation treatment within the next couple of weeks for a 6 week
period. They have a Proton Beam which is the best way to administer radiation with the
least amount of complications. Holly will be staying for the entire 6 weeks and I will be
going for 2 weeks or so. Family and friends will be helping by going for short stays as
well. I am going to stay back with Savanna and Sydney. Holly is really having a hard
time with this and so am I, but we are staying strong and keeping the faith. Payton
continues to amaze us with her strength, personality and smile.
Keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

Love,
Patrick and Holly.


6/10/06
As many of you know Thursday was a day that Holly and I will never forget. Holly and I
are in the battle of our lives to save our youngest daughter Payton. She has, as I stated
earlier a very rare and malignant tumor. We didn't actually realize the severity of this
tumor until Thursday afternoon when we spoke with Payton's Oncologist. Her doctors
cautioned us that she is in very grave danger of not surviving. I truly can't believe that I
am actually updating my family and friends that our 4 year old daughter may not make it
through this. Well after being very upset and just feeling like you can't imagine, Holly
and I are getting tougher, going forward and we are fighting for her in every way we can.
Payton's chemo has been started and it is very aggressive. She will endure many
different kinds of chemo at high doses along with other drugs to offset the side effects of
the chemo. She will start with 3 course of chemo, probably during the middle they will
do another MRI to determine if the tumor is shrinking. Dr Phillips Neuro Surgical team
at "CHOP" in Philly will look at her latest MRI and get a plan together for surgery. The
surgery could take place during the 3 courses, but most likely after. The surgeons still
need to decide if the tumor is operatable. Then we go to the radiation stage. Still hoping
we get to Boston, Indiana or Loma Linda in CA for the Proton Beam Therapy. I am very
nervous about radiating Payton's brain. I am fighting to get her to one of these three
Proton Beam facilities.
We continue to thank you all for your support and love.
Love,
Patrick and Holly.


6-19-06
Hello everyone,

We thought we would be bringing Payton home today, but found out this morning that
she has a fever. This means that she has a minimum of three more days in the hospital.
 As long as it doesn't become a bacterial infection she can come home after that, if it does
become bacterial, she will need to stay another 7-14 days. Payton has already been in the
hospital since Wed the 7th.
She started chemo on Friday the 9th. Methotrexate and Vincristin. Her Methotrexate
levels stayed to high for three days so because of the levels, it delayed her next set of
chemo drugs, so we ended up behind a couple of days. We got through last week with
Payton feeling crummy. She has mouth sores, won't eat, vomiting alot, week, and very
cranky. She can't walk very far without becoming fatigued. The nurses had to deactivate
her port twice yesterday and put it back in. If you have every seen this happen to a 4 year
old you know that it is not a pleasant experience. The needles look like nails. We just
want to get her home for a few days before she has to start the next course of chemo.

Holly and I both want to continue to thank everyone for the support and prayers. We
can't possible thank you all individually, but know we truly appreciate it. Again the
support has been overwhelming. It appears to us, an entire country has rallied around
Payton, not just her friends and family.
We will be back soon with any further developments.
Love you all,
Patrick and Holly

6/25/06

Hello everyone! Here is an update on our Payton. Today is Sunday and she continues to
have fevers. All her tests have come back negative for infection but since her blood
counts are low it makes it very difficult to find out what is causing her fevers. Payton has
to be fever free for three days. We are ALL very frustrated. She wants to be home so
badly. Payton had x-rays on her chest and abdomen on Saturday to see if they can spot
any infections. If they can not, then today she will get a CT scan to try to pin point why
she is continuing to have fevers. On Friday night Payton was found by me her mother
out of her bed and trying to pull out the tubes from the machine. When I questioned her,
she said "I am done with this place and I am getting out of here"!!!!!! She will ask me
numerous time a day to spy on the doctors and nurses so that I can sneak her out of the
hospital. As all of you can see, Payton is still a handful (which I love more than anything
especially during this time). On Monday, Payton will go in for surgery. She will get a
cath put in at her neck or chest area in order for them to do the stem cell harvest
sometime this week (tues, wed, thurs)? This procedure will take between 1 to 3 days.
She is due for her next set on chemo on Saturday. However, the doctors want Payton to
be stronger so they are delaying the next set for a few days. I am hoping that we can at
least get her home for 2 days. My mother will be taking the older girls to Pittsburgh from
July 3 to 11th. Savanna and Sydney are doing ok. They are worried as all of us are and
we are working very hard to help them through this. Again, Patrick and I can not thank
all of you for your prayers, well wishes, donations, gifts and meals. We feel so blessed to
have so many people care so much about our family. It means to much to us, I don't
know how to thank each and everyone of you. Please know that we appreciate
everything you all have done and it touches us so deeply. The one thing we will continue
to ask of each of you is to keep praying for our little Payton. Thank you again for
everything.

Love
Holly

P.S.

Well by the time we wrote the above update, things have changed again. I guess we just
have to get used to this. Her white blood counts are just too low to have the surgery for
the Stem Cell Harvest. So the doctors have delayed it the surgery to put in her catheter.
They think they have found the infection which is causing her fever. It is in her gastro
area. She is on a different course of antibiotics today and we hope to see improvement in
the next 2-3 days. Yesterday was tough for Payton. She had to have her port removed
and put back in. Her skin is very red on her chest where it is and just looks terrible.
She also had to have a tube put down her nose to her stomach so they could get a dye
through her system for another CT scan. This was done to confirm the source of the
infection. She was a trooper, but very unhappy yesterday and Holly tells me today isn't
much better. I am on my way back to the hospital for another night with Payton soon.

Thanks and love to all,
Patrick

July 1st, 2006

I spent last night with Payton and she did pretty well. It is so hard for her to sleep
through the night and me as well. The bell on her infusion pump seems to go off every
15 minutes. Payton’s white blood cell counts came up a lot they are in the 500’s now.
She still has pain in her abdominal area and her throat now hurts, because she has the
white blood cells to go after areas that may have been inflamed or irritated from her
nausea. We are also trying to wean her off of the pain meds because it is making her very
irritable. I guess we all would be if in her shoes.

Monday is still on for the surgery to put her catheter in for the Stem Cell Harvest. The
harvest should be Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday of next week. We hope earlier,
because the doctors said they would like to send her home for a few days before the next
round of chemo. I hope it is for more than 2 days, I just think it would be cruel to bring
her home for a day and take her back again for more treatment. She is still very week and
we are working with her to get up and moving around.

I know many of you are working on different things throughout the country for Payton
and we truly appreciate it. We continue to take this a day at a time and work to do
whatever we can to heal Payton.

Thanks to everyone and we appreciate you all,
Love
Patrick and Holly




July, 6, 2006

Hello everyone. I have pasted several new pictures of Payton on the site. You can look
at them by date, the new ones are 6/7/06.

The machine in a couple of them is the Stem Cell Harvest machine we have been talking
about. Payton had the harvest yesterday and we thought we would be taking her home
this morning. Well as usual,,,,we are still there with her. They weren’t able to get
enough Stem Cells with one treatment so back at it again today. They are very hopeful
that she will be able to leave the hospital finally this evening sometime around 6:30-8:00
PM. She just can’t wait to go to Brewsters to get some ice cream and see Tony and
Lisa’s dogs. So that is what we will be doing soon….cross your fingers. Payton is so
tired of being at the hospital, 31 days so far!
Last night was a tough night for her, again the nurses had to take out her port and put it
back in. This is one of the most traumatic things she goes through and she hates it. But
her spirit is pretty good and all she talks about is going home.

Thanks again for everyone’s support, thoughts and prayers.
Love,
Patrick and Holly




July 6, 2006, for now, maybe the 7th, by the time I am done writing this.

What a night! We finally got Payton home to a house full of balloons and banners.
(thanks Lisa, Ashley, Thomas, and Jacob) Payton was so excited to get home and you
could just see it in her face. She had to go through a lot of pain to be released, but it was
worth it for her. The doctors and nurses took out the catheter in her jugular and the port
in her chest. This took an hour or so to do and was very traumatic for Payton. Even I,
who typically can handle most of this, was surprised by the size of the tube that was in
her jugular.

We are going to enjoy the next couple of days and just relax.
She has a tough week ahead of her. Her port isn’t functioning correctly so the doctors
need to do another surgery and take the old one out and put another one in on Monday
morning after her MRI. Can you believe it! Another surgery! One day at a time,,,,,one
day at a time I keep telling myself.

I wish you all could see her tonight. Just lying in her own bed, curled up like an angel.
Holly and I just stared at her and thought how peaceful she looked and content to finally
be home.

I haven’t slept in since Tuesday night and am about to crash hard. My eyes just burn and
I am ready to hit the sack. But, wanted to share with everyone how happy we are to have
Payton home.

Love to all,
Patrick and Holly



7/12/06

Hello everyone. Payton has been home since last Thursday. She had surgery on
Monday and an MRI. The surgery to put a new Port in was successful. We had good and
bad news from the MRI. Payton’s main tumor looks to be shrinking, which is great,
however, it has now spread to her brain. The spots are small, but there looks to be two
spots. We are now trying to get her to Boston for radiation (Proton Beam). They want to
do this to stop the spreading and kill the tumor in her brain. This isn’t unusual from what
the docs are saying. We knew that chemo would not really get to her brain and that we
would need to have radiation. We are just hoping that this might be a blessing that this is
happening and she is meant to have it done right away. I understand that Dr Nancy
Tarbell from Boston is a very good Neuro Oncologist who is going to look at her MRI
and lab work and let us know when we can start Radiation. We are doing what we can to
make this happen for her as soon as possible. I really don’t want to wait to get this done
and am trying to get this moving as quickly as possible. We are just in a holding pattern
right now, which you know I am not doing very well with….

Payton is doing pretty good being at home and is having fun with her sisters. She is still
very week on in her left leg. I have some pics to have Nikki get posted online for you all
to see soon. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Love to all,
Patrick and Holly

P.S. I wrote the above last night while my eyes were burning from being so tired. After
reading it this morning, not sure how much sense it makes. Anyway, I wanted to also say
that I pasted a bunch of new pictures of Payton. She really is a peanut!
Dad

July 16, 2006

Hello everyone,

Well today is Sunday and we are preparing to be at Gainsville tomorrow to talk with the
pediatric radiologist. We are hoping and praying we will be sent to Boston for her
radiation very SOON. Payton had a great week at home. She is walking by herself and
eating a ton!!!!! This week was needed for her and us. We want to express our gratitude
to everyone for their concern with Payton. Patrick and I recently learned that there are
some erroneous statements being made on the internet. I first want to state that we put
THIS website together to share with our friends, family and those who are truly
concerned about our precious daughter. We wanted everyone to be kept informed of her
progress. Even though we would like to, we are unable to call each and everyone. We
do not expect ANYTHING in return except your prayers. I only want positive
comments, thoughts and well wishes for Payton. My daughter is going to fight this and
will in my heart RECOVER. Please do not believe anything you hear or read unless you
read it from THIS WEBSITE/US!!!! Again, we want to thank everyone for giving
Patrick and I the support we need to fight. As always, we love you all and we will
continue to keep you informed.

All my love
Holly

7/21/06

Hello everyone, it's Payton's Mom again -
Well I am here to write an update for Payton. As you all are now aware, everything
about Payton's treatment has changed by the second! So as of right now this is the
scoop. Today is Friday afternoon. We just returned home from All Children's. We are
going to Duke Medical Center this Monday to carry out Payton's treatment. Even though
it has not been confirmed, we are going on the assumption that the cancer has spread to
Payton's brain. Therefore, we are going to Duke's Brain Tumor Center. From what we
heard and researched, it is one of the best. We will find out on Monday what type of
treatment will be next for Payton (chemo, radiation...) I don't have any idea how long I
will be at Duke. It is very much up in the air until we speak with the doctor's at Duke.
We were turned down for Proton radiation at Boston and California due to her diagnosis.
They don't want to give up a spot for a "risky" diagnosis. I have my own choice words
for those people at Boston and Ca. !!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, I am actually feeling much
better about this plan because we will FINALLY have a plan. Also, Payton had a CT
scan today. It was fine. A few veins were inflamed but they feel that is from the trauma
of all the chemo she received. We are becoming concerned with Payton's left leg again.
She has a great deal of difficulty walking on it again. The therapist in me is thinking it is
due to her horrible gait. She has been walking allot and only on the side of her foot. She
has not been able for months to walk with her sole planted on the floor. Therefore, I
think her ankle and different areas of the foot are feeling the stress. I do hope that I am
right on this. The rest of Payton is great. She is laughing, playing and driving us crazy
with her feisty self (we aren't complaining). I know that I say this in my updates, but I
need to stress to all of you again -- thank you. This is a nightmare that I pray no parent
has to face. We try very hard to be positive and hopeful but it is getting harder every
day. I am not kidding when I say that every time we answer the phone or go to the
doctors, it is always the worst of the worst. I know a lot of you don't know it, but there
are several times Patrick and I may come across looking like we are doing ok. but are
screaming/dying inside. So many of you would make a statement or talk to us in such a
way that it brings us back again to being positive and hopeful. To everyone who writes
into the guestbook, we love to read your messages. We need to be lifted up because this
CANCER is not only being destructive to Payton's body but to our souls. My deepest
thank you to all for your uplifting statements, comments, and just being there for us. It
keeps us going in the right direction. Please keep the prayers coming, I am so believing
in the power of prayers. I hope Monday will finally be positive for Payton. Until then,
thanks you and we love you all.
Love Holly
7/22/06

I added some new pictures today and tried to add a video. The file was large so it may
not of worked. Hope you enjoy.
Love
Patrick
7/23/06

I just added few pictures of the blanket Dot and Pam made for Payton. It looks awesome!
Thanks so much to the both of you and to everyone that sent in squares. I think there are
still more so they may be making something else.
Thanks again.
Patrick and Holly.

7/25/06

Hello ALL!!!

Today is Tuesday. We are at Duke! We will be doing our treatment at Duke. The
experience was unbelievable. From meeting with family services to our new doctor,
Duke is our place to make Payton better. I will give you the info we were given
yesterday, but keep in mind things are always changing. At this point, we may be
starting a new chemo on Wednesday. He does not want to do radiation just yet, and give
chemo 1-2 cycles. Then start radiation. He will be reviewing the MRI's with their
radiologists. He also is having her diagnosis reviewed at Duke. Our doctor wants to try
a new plan. For the first time in this horrible experience, I feel that I am at the right
place. Our doctor came in to our room and didn't have the look of "you sorry
parents....don't you know your child is terminal". Instead he came in and stated "I will do
everything I can to help your child...I can not make any promises...Payton does have a
very rare cancer...but I will do everything I can to help". That was all I wanted from a
doctor. Patrick and I are fighting for Payton. She is not a case number, she is our 4 year
old sweet little girl. This doctor is in our corner. What more can I ask for!!! Patrick may
be back this weekend. I hope to be back before the girls go to school. But again, I don't
have any expectations anymore. Please keep your prayers coming. I believe so much in
the power of prayer. As usual, I want to give my sincere thanks to all. Your uplifting
messages and prayers are so needed. I wanted to add a big thank you to Evelyn for the
making of Payton's blanket. The blanket was so beautiful and the time Evelyn, Dot and
Pam put in was amazing. Thank you again for a cherished gift. Also, we need to thank
the Buckley’s for allowing us to stay in their home while we are in NC. We also, need to
give a huge thank you to the Doniger’s for arranging Payton’s flight to NC. We rode on
a private jet and Payton loved it!!!! I would love to thank each and everyone for all of
their gifts, thoughts, and prayers. We are overwhelmed with the kindness you all have
shown. We have received gifts from children that mean so much to us. Please tell your
children how much we really appreciate their contributions and thoughts. We love you
all so much. Please know that we are so blessed to have you in our lives.
We love you all
Holly
7/27/06
Day two in the hospital at Duke. So far going pretty well. Payton is eating and going to
the potty often. She is being a brave little girl even though she is scared and already tired
of being here. We are still hoping to be out of here and on our way home Sunday
morning. Mimi is holding down the fort at home and staying with Savanna and Sydney.
 Payton is receiving 3 different chemo drugs this time and Dr G is going to get creative
with her care. He is giving it all he has to cure her. We believe for the next several
courses that it may be administered as an outpatient. So we may be home for awhile. So
for any of you coming to Florida for the golf outing or 5k, you hopefully will get to see
Payton as long as her counts are up. Uncle Bzer and Gina are here today visiting Payton.

We are flying out on Southwest Sunday and hopefully she will be fine for the flight. Dr
G said that her counts where now up enough that it should be OK. We will probably
make her wear a mask though. Her counts won’t start to come down until 7-10 days after
her chemo treatment started. Everyone at home will have to know that probably next
week some time she will be very vulnerable to getting sick. So we may have to isolate
her for a few days. We will keep everyone updated as to her counts.

Thanks as always to everyone out there.
Love
Patrick and Holly

Aug, 1, 2006
Hello everyone. We were able to bring Payton home from Duke on Saturday. We got
home around 11:00 PM. The plane ride went pretty smoothly. Payton slept most of the
way and we kept a mask on her as best we could. She is all about timing. Once we got
off the plane and were in the airport she started to let it all out and vomited. Sunday, was
more vomiting, the chemo makes her pretty sick. She is in very good spirits until we
have to give her a shot or medicine. Then the tiger comes out in her. Yesterday she was
in Tampa most of the day getting an MRI and having blood work done. She was a real
brave little girl. She didn’t even cry when the nurses accessed her port. She just said that
wasn’t too bad… Then she walked over to the door of the MRI room and said OK
mommy I’ll see you later, I am going to get my pictures done now. She continues to
amaze us every day of her strength.
Payton’s neuro doctor G is continuing to monitor Payton as well as Dr Aung in Tampa.
So far she is scheduled to have another round of chemo in 3 weeks, but as an outpatient.
So we should be home for a few months. However, this could change depending on how
her MRI’s look in the next few weeks as well. They will need to monitor the tumors and
hope that they don’t continue to grow. If they shrink she will continue with chemo, if
they don’t we will need to get her to radiation sooner. We truly are praying for her to
respond well to the chemo.
We are truly blessed to have so many people to have been touched by Payton in some
way in our lives. We continue to read all that you all have written in her guestbook
online. It is a great way to be inspired everyday and as Payton says, ―It’s going to be a
good day!‖
Love to all,
Patrick and Holly
Aug, 1st 2006

Hello Everyone!!!

Today is Tuesday the first of August and three months into this fight. Payton is doing
fairly well. I know Patrick sent an update earlier but I wanted to add a request and as
always give my thanks and gratitude to all. I was talking with Lori Bollinger today and
she stated she needs volunteers for Payton's Party Walk/Run. If anyone is willing, please
email Lori at lbollinger@tampabay.rr.com. I have told many that my hope through all of
this is to increase the awareness for childhood cancer. I am so touched and proud of each
and everyone of you who are putting these events together and who are participating.
Payton's illness has changed our lives forever. We will always be fighting even when
Payton is better...because childhood cancer is worth the fight. Payton is having a melt
down and wants me to read to her. Thank you again for all you do and the prayers.
Please keep praying. I love you all!!!

Love
Holly



Aug 2, 2006

I just added some pictures most from our trip to Duke. Most of Payton and her best
buddy Brooke and her mom Dina. Several were taken at our new friends home Brian and
Helen. Also pics of uncle Brian and Gina. One of the pics is of Payton lying on the floor
sleeping. She looks so peaceful. She went there with her pillow to watch her sisters in
the pool and fell asleep. Hope you enjoy.
Love to all,
Patrick


Aug 6, 2006

Hello everyone. Holly will be giving a more detailed update later today or tonight. But, I
wanted to say something before I head back to the hospital. Yes, Payton is back at All
Children’s in St Pete. She developed a fever yesterday afternoon and we took her in and
she is required to stay for 72 hours. So we will be there with her for the next few days.
She isn’t very happy about being there, but she is hanging tough. I wanted to thank
everyone again for doing so much for Payton and all of us. The community we live in
Lakewood Ranch has been so supportive and we truly appreciate it. I want to also thank
Dick Vitale, Terri Vitale and his entire family for what they are doing for Payton and
children afflicted with cancer. We can’t wait to ―pay it forward‖ once Payton is better.
Not only the Vitale’s but also all of our friends and family who have done so much for
Payton are true inspirations to Holly and I. Our life has changed forever and we will not
stop fighting for Payton and this terrible disease. I can’t wait for Payton someday to
realize how she has brought so many people together and see the impact on the lives of so
many. I know she will feel as humbled as I do.
Again thanks to all.

Love,
Patrick




Aug 6th
Hi Everyone,

Today is Sunday, I think the 6th. My days are running into each other. Payton had to go
into the hospital yesterday due to a fever. However, once we got her to the hospital, she
has not had a fever since ( knock on wood). I know I probably cursed myself. Payton is
doing OK. She isn't eating very much and is not too happy to be in the hospital (who
could blame her). When we got to the "oncology" floor the nurse asked her what room
she wanted. I couldn't believe it, but she chose the same room she had for 30 days. She
said she liked the animal wall paper boarder. As usual, she is making her money on
thumb wrestling with the doctor's and nurses. I think at this point she has made over
$30.00. This has been a very hard week on me. For some reason, I can't stop crying. I
hope my positive outlook comes back. I need it for my little girl. We were told the MRI
on Monday showed increase in spread of the tumor. I did not ask how much or where, I
felt what difference does it make. I need to pray harder and put my hope and faith into
play with God and the doctors. I hope Dr. G at Duke is my helper in getting Payton
better. As I have stated over and over, I believe in the power of prayer. Please, Please,
Please Pray for Payton. My baby needs every prayer out there. I know I was given this
angel but I don't want to give her back yet. Patrick and I are continuing everyday to be
overwhelmed and amazed by people. I know I wont be able to send thank you cards to
each and everyone, but please know that Patrick and I appreciate and are grateful for all
you have done for us and our family. We are dedicated to fighting for not only our
Payton but for all children with this horrible disease. My in laws (Linda and Kenny
Wright) just had a fundraiser in Fredonia, Pennsylvania (Patrick's hometown). For a
small town, my in laws stated there were hundreds of people supporting our daughter
Payton... many have never met her. Thank you to each of you for showing support. I can
not express my thanks enough. We should all rethink how we feel about mankind. The
generosity and compassion people are showing is overwhelming and gives Patrick and I
new eyes and faith on humanity. We do have a lot of GOOD people in our world.
Especially in a time where all we hear and see is horrible news, this should reopen the
minds of all of us to say, there is good in the world. Again, to the people of
Pennsylvania, our sincere thanks and we truly appreciate all you have done for our
daughter. To the fundraisers that are occurring in Florida… I really don't know what to
say. Patrick and I are again overwhelmed by the effort our friends are doing for our
family. We love you all and thank you from the bottom of our hearts. I am excited for
the next few weeks to spread the word of childhood cancer and to help raise money for
our daughter’s treatment. Our girls are our life. We are in fighting mode and wont stop
till we win this battle. Thank you for loving Payton and helping us give her a chance.
We love you all and are blessed to have such incredible people be part of our lives. I
hope to write you on Monday to tell you Payton is coming home.

All my love for you all
Holly

Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Today is Tuesday August 8th. Payton is finally home. She is doing great today...she is
eating and pooping!!!! We are hoping her counts will be ok by the end of this week in
order for her to start her next chemo on Monday. Her disease is so progressive, we can't
wait long between chemo treatments. We were just notified that Duke wants her back for
her chemo treatment following this next treatment. I hope it will be a short stay as
before. On Monday, school has started down here and I was very sad that Payton
couldn't go to her new school. I remembered when Savanna and Sydney went off to
Pre-K..Monday was tough for me. However, Ms. MaryAnn Hickey will be her Pre-K
teacher. Payton's first day of home school will be tomorrow. She has already
complained to Ms. MaryAnn about homework and states that she is only 4 and not 7
years old. Keep in mind we are dealing with Payton! I would like to share some news
with everyone. I hope by now everyone knows how important Patrick and I feel about
your prayers. We need some help with another child in our community. Please double
your prayers for us. I don't want to go into this child's situation because I don't have the
permission from his parents. However, this little guy is going to turn 9 soon and goes to
school with our girls. He was diagnosed with a brain tumor as well. However, they were
given very positive news about his prognosis. On this day, it is assumed it is benign and
they don't have to rush for treatment. They have time to investigate their treatment
strategies. This does not take away of the seriousness of his condition. When I found out
my heart sank. I don't want any parent to hear that kind of news. He will be returning to
school tomorrow. Please keep Payton, this child and his family in your thoughts and
prayers....we all need it right now. Just another Payton moment for you all. While we
were in the hospital with Payton, we found out this little guy’s family was in the hospital
as well. Payton over heard me talking with Patrick on the phone and insisted that she
find this boy and talk with his parents. She was allowed to be off of her IV for an hour.
Mimi and I wanted to take her out of the hospital for a walk but she still insisted to find
this family. When we found the parents, Payton was trying to in her own way to tell
them that MRI's aren't scary and everything would be all right. She was so concerned for
this child. I feel sometimes she is well beyond her years. She has also been this way
with her sister Sydney when Sydney went to the dentist. She couldn't stop crying and
hugged Sydney for at least 30 minutes. She felt bad that Sydney had a cavity. I will
always be thankful for each and everyone of you. Thank you for your continued thoughts
and prayers. Please keep this little boy and his family in those prayers as well. Have a
wonderful week and I will update you soon.
All our love,
Patrick and Holly

Aug, 16, 2006
Hello everyone!

Today is Wednesday the 16th of August. We are three days into Payton's outpatient
chemo. So far she is doing pretty good. She gets sick in the morning when she wakes
up. This round of chemo doesn't have the severe vomiting side effect like the others.
 She is eating, drinking and of course pooping yeh!!!!! I never thought I would be so
excited about bodily functions. Payton was able to meet Dick Vitale, his wife, two
daughters, and granddaughter on Tuesday. What a family. He has helped with the
Jimmy V foundation which has raised millions for cancer research. Mr. Vitale and his
family are very passionate when it comes to fighting cancer. As I hope you all are aware,
Mr. Vitale and his wife are opening up their home to raise money for Payton. Like
MANY of you, Mr. Vitale and his family had never met Payton until yesterday. I am
overwhelmed with how so many of you like the Vitale’s are coming out to support our
daughter. I also wanted to tell you a story that happened today. While Payton was
receiving chemo a family came in with their 16 year old son. He has a rare bone marrow
condition that leads to cancer. His prognosis is poor, but they are fighting. I believe in
miracles and have heard many stories of them. Anyway, there are 3 cases in the US that
have his disease (him, his brother, and another individual). The parents are looking for a
bone marrow donor. They have had bone marrow drives in Miami and here in
Bradenton. So far out of hundreds the only one that is a match is his brother who also has
the condition. They are looking for an individual with Spanish or northern Italy
background. If you would like to learn more, this family also has a website which is
www.caringbridge.org/visit/anthonynegrin. or COTA.ORG. As we were leaving the
clinic the mother came out and stated she had just gotten off the phone with her twin 15
year old boys. They told their mother they had just signed up at their school to volunteer
for a fundraiser for a 4 year old little girl with cancer in Bradenton. The mom said "I
can't believe it , I am sitting next to her mom right now". She couldn't believe that her
sons without prompting volunteered and we had just met for the first time. It is a small
world. Also, I might add Lisa N. was with me. She is 100% Italian with her background
in Northern Italy. We were able to get a doctors script and she went up to the lab and got
tested to see if she is a match. Wouldn't that be something if she was! Through this
horrible ordeal, Patrick and I find ourselves gaining more out of life than we ever thought
possible. We pray none of you will ever have to experience what we are going through,
but I do hope you all take something from this like we have. Helping others. We have
seen this from so many, it's wonderful to see the kindness and caring. As I always feel
and hope I get out loud and clear, we thank everyone of you for your prayers, thoughts,
and gestures. It means so much. There are so many people we also want to thank who
are putting on the weekend fundraisers and the cut a thon that is occurring this Sunday.
There are so many of you I am afraid I might miss a name due to being exhausted. But
please know we are so appreciative and grateful for all your hard work and love you have
for our little girl. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. We are so blessed to
have you ALL in our lives. Please know you will always have our family in your corner
at any time.

As always, we love you all
Holly


Aug 19, 2006

Payton is home doing well. She finished up yesterday with her 3rd round of chemo and
is so happy to not be going back today. It was so nice to be able to bring her home every
day this week and helped her cope with everything a lot better.

Holly and I want to thank McNeal Elementary and Linger Lodge restaurant for putting on
the fundraiser for Payton last night. I also want to thank the band Liquid Courage for
performing and doing such a great job! Also thanks to everyone who came to support
Payton we can’t thank you enough. It was very nice for Holly and I to get out together.
We don’t get to do that very often anymore.

I wanted to also share something with everyone. An amazing photographer, Heather
Skau came to our house and has put together the most wonderful slideshow I have ever
seen. Please take the time to look at it with plenty of Kleenex’s.
Holly and I are forever grateful to her for giving us this precious gift. We truly can’t
thank her enough. She is an amazing person.

To access it, take this link: Catch A Star Photography or type in
www.catchastarphotography.com/slideshows if the link doesn't work for you.

For password, type in payton0818, then click submit. It is case sensitive. If you have
trouble getting it to load, try turning off the 'full screen' option, and also turning off any
pop-up blockers you may have activated. It may take a little bit to load as there are a lot
of images, but the slideshow will then start automatically.

Make sure you don’t have the little box checked under the line that you put in the
password. Also have your volume turned on.

If you want to see more of Heather’s work check out her web site as well at
www.catchastarphotography.com


We continue to thank everyone for all they have done and are doing.

Love
Patrick and Holly
Aug, 24th, 2006
Hello Everyone,

Today is Thursday August 24th. We just returned home from the clinic today. We left at
7:45AM and returned home at 4:00pm. Long Day!!! Payton's counts are dropping and
she needed blood and platelets. Again she is a trooper. She doesn't cry anymore when
she has to get her twice weekly finger stick. I am so proud of her and so sad at the same
time. She is getting used to needles, blood and this whole nightmare cancer role. Payton
last Saturday went to school for the first time with her teacher MaryAnn Hickey. She had
a great time and it was nice having her be a typical 4 year old. Thank you MaryAnn for
helping her be 4! However, she still tries to get out of her "homework" and complains all
the time about learning her letters. I always get "why do I have to". We want to also
thank the Yellow Strawberry for the cut a thon. We were so overwhelmed (I use that
word a lot but its true these days) by the out pouring of support for our daughter. Thank
you to the staff for your time and effort and all of you who came out to support Payton.
What a community we live in. That old saying is true "It takes a village..." I am looking
forward to this fundraiser weekend. I don't think I will be able to make it to the golf
outing with Payton. Payton's counts are very low and it might be too much the day after
her blood/platelet treatment. However, we hope to have her appear at the walk a thon.
We will have one more week off and then we start another chemo session. On Thursday,
Aug 31st Payton goes in for her MRI. Please, please, please keep praying for us. This
MRI is meaning a great deal. I will probably start medicating myself on Monday in
preparation for Thursday. Our stress levels will be high next week, so if Patrick or I
seem off, please know why. For some reason, I thought we had more time before the
next MRI. I admit I am terrified. As I always feel and hope get across to you all, thank
you very much for all that you do for Payton and our family. We truly appreciate it!

All our love,
Patrick and Holly



Aug 29th

Hello to all,

Today is Tuesday August 29th. Before I begin on our Payton, Patrick and I wanted to
deeply thank all that put together Payton's fundraisers. We are so overwhelmed. You all
did such an incredible job. You accomplished what Patrick and I wanted...to get out the
awareness on childhood cancer. It truly showed how much you love Payton and our
family. We will cherish this weekend forever. To all that showed their support, thank
you. We hope to see all of you next year for Payton's Foundation. All of us should pat
ourselves on the back for making a difference this weekend. The blood mobile and bone
marrow registry was a huge success as well. To all who could not show up for the
Payton's Party weekend. I will tell you there are no words to describe the events. On
Friday, it was a packed house for golf. On Saturday over 5000 people came out to
support Payton and our family. It was just incredible. And on Sunday at Mr. Vitale's
home was just a wonderful way to end an amazing weekend of support. We can not
thank the Vitale family enough for opening their home and raising funds and awareness.
Now to Payton. As many were aware, Payton had severe back pain over the weekend.
We took her to the hospital on Monday in hopes it was constipation or muscle aches from
her limping. However, an MRI showed that the tumor is still growing. We are
devastated! We need to go to Duke by Monday for radiation and chemo. I am not sure
how long we will be gone. At this moment, Payton is on Morphine, steroids, pooping
meds and nausea meds. We are very scared and nervous for Payton. I think I needed a
door bell on my closet door yesterday. Please keep praying for Payton. Everyone asks
me what we need, we need prayers for her so desperately. This is another hard week for
Patrick and I. Please keep our family in your thoughts.

We love you all
Holly


9-3-06.

Hello-

Today is Sunday I am not sure of the date. We are at Duke for Payton's treatment. As
many of you know, last Wednesday Payton took a turn for the worst. She had severe
back pain and on the way up to All Children's Hospital she lost the use of her left leg and
bladder function. We air lifted her to Duke Hospital that morning. On route to Duke
Payton lost the use of her right leg. At this point, Payton has had 4 radiation treatments
in hopes to shrink the tumor on her spine. We hope and pray she will regain the use of
her legs. However, no improvement has occurred. On Friday, Payton was given hours
to live. I am so numb at this point I can not explain our thoughts to you at this time. We
called in family and our friends to fly to Duke to see her. The doctors put a shunt in on
her right side of her head to release the pressure in her brain. Things were stable but that
night the shunt malfunctioned and Payton had to undergo surgery once more to replace
the shunt. We have been blessed because she has been with us for two more days (thank
god). Due to the pressure in the brain, Payton has to undergo radiation to her brain. All I
can say is Patrick and I are afraid, scared and every emotion you can think of. Many
have said that we have shown so much strength. I don't think I have anymore left....On a
cute note about Payton, because I think you have all seen how strong Payton is...she is so
exhausted and sore she puts her thumb up with her eyes closed and hardly able to speak,
and wanted to thumb wrestle to win a dollar! My daughter has taught me and so many
others life long lessons. We are not giving up because we have seen how much a fighter
she is. My daughter wants to live and will fight every step of the way. Please help her in
her fight and continue to pray for her. If you could spare an extra prayer for Patrick,
Savanna, Sydney and me we would so appreciate it. Our family is so scared. We need
your help. I hope to write better news soon. Until than, thank you and please keep the
thoughts and prayers coming in for us.
All our love
Patrick and Holly


Sept 6, 2006

Hello Everyone,

Well today is Wednesday. Payton is doing much better than the last update. I don't know
how to explain to you all how much of a fighter our daughter is. We were very close to
losing her Friday and here we are 5 days later. She is talking, playing, and trying to eat.
She still eats like a bird and we desperately need her to pack on the pounds. She is able
to occasionally feel her right leg. This morning, she was up at 4 am playing with Ms.
Lisa (our friend stayed the night so Patrick and I could TRY to get some sleep...however
I don't think we will sleep until she is better). Anyway, by 8:30 am she was getting
sleepy and closed her eyes. I kissed her right knee and she said "thank you mommy for
kissing my knee". I never thought those little words/comments would mean so much!
Friday was a big eye opener for Patrick and me. We hope it will be for all of you. This
child is not ready to give up and we realized that no matter what we will continue to stay
strong, positive and fight right with her no matter what. Last night Patrick printed out 9
pages of new guest book messages. WOW! I can not thank you all for the wonderful
inspirational messages you sent. It was what Patrick and I needed. I said this statement
at the Payton 5K run/walk and I will say it again...how can we not stay positive when we
have all of you in our corner...praying for her and keeping Patrick and I on track with
your thoughts you send. I am not waivering on my belief...my beautiful little baby will
make it. She will win! No doubt...No doubt...No doubt. Payton will be having a busy
day today. This morning she will be starting school. Children that will be here for a
while get educational services. I met her teacher yesterday. I hope she doesn't complain
to her as much as she does to Ms. MaryAnn. Payton will also get PT/OT. She had
PT/OT yesterday and sat up (with support) for a few moments. At 12:00, she will be
getting an MRI of her brain and spine. I was very nervous and thought I needed to
heavily medicate myself today, but for some reason, I am going with the punches.
Payton will win this fight. I am believing in the power of prayer and hope in her being
healed. That is all we have... After the MRI, Payton then goes for radiation. Today they
are trying to make her wear her head gear. Her head mask is a mesh looking plaster that
they formed to her face. How scary for a 4 year old to wear this mask that is pressed
tightly to her head. We are going to play her INXS so she will calm down. We played
INXS in the ICU and she loved it. So again, Payton is not your typical child. INXS rules
for her! Then tonight she can eat and her day is over. I don't think any of us would like a
day like she is having. The thing is, Payton not once has complained. She is our trooper
and my hero. I am 36 years old and I look up to my 4 year old. What a brave and caring
little girl. I pray every night that I can be blessed with the strength that she has. She is
keeping us going. A side note to Dr. Morelli, Payton in ICU thumb wrestled and won 2
bucks. She has asked about you and is keeping up with her thumb wrestling skills so she
can come back and take more of your dollars. I must get going, our trying day is about to
begin. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers, you know we love and need them.
Make is a good day....It's gonna be a good day!

Love Always,
Patrick and Holly

Sept 8th, 2006


Hello to all of Payton's supporters,

Today is Friday. We did not have great news on Wednesday, but as usual we are still
going forward. Payton's tumors in her spine did show a slight decrease, so we are trying
to be hopeful that the radiation is working. However, the tumors in her brain have
grown. Patrick and I again were faced with the question of "what do we do"? It was
quickly decided for us. Dr. G called us that night around 9pm and said " you both fought
to bring Payton to Duke...don't give up now. I am not surprised by her MRI and we will
continue with our radiation plan". So with that statement from a Dr who is VERY much
respected...we are on track with her treatment. Again, no one is giving up. Payton does
so well with her radiation treatment. She listens to her INXS and doesn't complain about
laying on a hard table with a tight mask on her face. What a trooper. Payton continues
to work everyday to get better. She tries to manipulate everyone, especially the PT/OT.
As a pediatric OT myself, I know you need to push...however, it is hard to do that with
my little girl. I go to her therapies but have started to stay outside the room. As a mom I
just want to hold her all the time. As a therapist, I want her to work all the time. Do you
feel the conflict I am creating for myself! I think all moms know what I am talking
about! Today our girls came up to visit their sister. Oh was Payton excited. Our
dear friend Mike Ortiz drove my mom and the girls up last night. It was a 12 hour
drive! As I always state, Patrick and I are so blessed to have such awesome friends. We
have had visitors come from all over to give us support. Payton continues to feel certain
parts of her lower extremities throughout the day. Unfortunately it is not consistent. This
morning Payton stated "mom you need to change me...I pooped". And when I looked,
she did. They are trying to determine if she can get any control of her bladder, so they
are putting a clamp on her cath for 4 hours to wait and see if she can tell if she has a full
bladder. We have a long road ahead of ourselves, but have understood to love and
embrace the small miracles that occur with Payton. Patrick continues to print out the
guest book messages and we are so grateful to you all for giving us such encouragement
and hope during this time. Please know it means so much to us to read your messages.
There are so many of you that we have not met and to send us your good wishes and
prayers...thank you! Also, the Smith family sent Payton a cheer leading bear with a ton
of balloons...they don't know her and had to do some leg work to find out where to send
the gift. Thank you so much for this uplifting present. Payton loved it so much. I also
want to thank Samantha Robinson's mom for getting me a lap top computer. It has a built
in web cam so now we can see our girls while we are here at Duke. As we always feel,
thank you for all you do. Keep the prayers coming.
All our love
Holly and Patrick


Sept 12, 2006

Hello Payton's supporters!

Today is Tuesday morning. Payton is stable for the moment. She is gaining weight
(mostly due to the steroids) and is getting a round face. She wakes up every morning at
2AM to eat and watch movies. She doesn't go back to sleep until 9:00am. Therefore,
there is no sleep for Patrick and I. We are SO TIRED! We are trying to keep her food to
a minimum so she doesn't get too bloated. All Payton thinks about is food, food, and
more food. It's driving us crazy! They wont decrease her steroids for a few more weeks
due to the larger tumors in her brain. They are pushing on her spinal cord which causes
her heart rate to drop. She continues to feel her right knee and toes, but nothing on her
left. Payton misses her sisters so much. She doesn't understand why they can't be here.
It is hard for her to understand distance. But we are hooking up with our web cam which
will help her at least see Savanna and Sydney. Our girls are having a hard time as well
with mom and dad being away. We are thankful that they continue to do very well in
school and we make sure we talk with them before school and at night right before bed.
Patrick and I are having some bad days (emotionally). It is very hard to explain to all of
you what this is like. We are away from our girls for 6 weeks and have constant worry
not only for Payton but for Savanna and Sydney. We always are praying, and trying to
maintain strength/support for each other and Payton. However, it is exhausting. I miss
my closet!!!!!! I have to say this again, your guest book messages are really helping.
We read them to Payton every night. Payton's day continues to involve PT/OT, radiation
(with INXS) and school everyday. She is doing much better in OT/PT. She continues to
try to manipulate everyone and do the least amount of work she can get away with.
Thank heavens she has tough people working with her. Payton has received several gifts
while we were here. Thank you for thinking of her. I am sorry that I can't get out thank
you notes, so please accept my sincere thanks for her gifts. I also received messages
about people wanted to help Payton's Foundation. I just wanted to let everyone know
that Monty's Pizza on University will be having a fundraiser on Oct 21 from 12-5 for eat
in or take out. I will try to get more info on that. Also, there is a cut a thon for Payton at
Shaggys Hair Studio on Sun Oct 8th from 11-3. I want to thank everyone for continuing
to support our Payton and promoting the awareness of childhood cancer. Thank you
again, for all the support. You all are so wonderful. You are keeping us strong and
focused. Make it a good day, it is gonna be a good day.

Love to all,

Patrick and Holly
Sept. 15, 2006
Sitting here in the radiation waiting room on the computer and have a few minutes to
catch everyone up. Payton is doing pretty well. She is having some issues with the
steroids they have her on. She is eating alot and gaining weight which is a side effect
from the steroids. So is swelling, crankiness and nervousness. Payton continues to
surprise me every day. She is so strong and courageous! More than two weeks now at
Duke and just now starting to complain about being here. We have probably 5 weeks or
so to go with the radiation treatments. She misses her sisters and home so much. Her
feeling in her legs comes and goes. We are still hopeful the feeling will come back and
she regains her movement. OT and PT are working hard to get her in shape.

Holly and I are truly grateful to all the support we have. It has been tough to be here and
live at the hospital every day. We take turns on who stays with Payton and the other goes
back to the hotel around 9:00 PM every night and back at the hospital at 7:30 AM. It is
getting old, but we think of Payton and how she is handling it and makes our
discomfort seem so small. The last few days have been tough for us. Not sure why, just
probably tired. I am sure that is it because we miss Savanna and Sydney so much plus so
consumed with Payton we are running thin.
We continue to have visitors and help while we are here which is great.
Again thanks to everyone for supporting us.
Love to all,
Patrick and Holly
Sept 18, 2006

Hello all,

We want to thank Jack and Donna for coming to see Payton and us this weekend. They
were a big help. The weekends are a bit boring because there isn't any radiation or
therapy treatments scheduled for Payton. So we end up just hanging out in her room, the
cafe or pushing her around the hospital in her wheelchair.

Payton is at PT/OT now, it is about 9:45 AM on Monday morning. She will be there for
an hour or so, then a break until radiation therapy in the afternoon around 2-3 PM. She
usually gent's tired after that and takes a nap. We are getting the routine down pretty
good. Holly and I are becoming pretty used to hospital food, lack of sleep, hospital
pump alarms going off all day and night, her heart rate and respiratory alarm going off as
well, nurses coming in and out all hours of the day/night, watching Sponge Bob Square
Pants, Jimmy Neutron, Wiggles, and every other kids show on tv all day and night. I
could actually right a book about what goes on in here and I might some day.
All those things are really not a big deal though. I was walking down the hall towards
her room this morning after coming back from the hotel and her door was open. I could
see her from 30 yards away sitting in her wheelchair eating breakfast. I just started
smiling....and yeah this is dad, so I had a bit of a tear as well. She makes it all worth it
and would do it for the rest of my life. Again it amazes me how strong she is and as Dina
says....she is an old soul.

Love to all.
Patrick and Holly

Sept 19, 2006

Hello Everyone,

Today is Tuesday. We just found out yesterday that Payton can be discharged tomorrow
and continue radiation as an outpatient for the next 3 weeks. We are so excited but
scared at the same time. We will be staying at a different hotel that has a kitchen in the
room. We need it due to Payton's increase appetite!!! We also have to learn how to cath
her. I am not looking forward to that! Payton needs to get out of here. It is a great place,
but she is going bonkers. All she sees is her room, radiation room, and the cafe. We try
to take her for walks outside but she is not impressed. It is funny how our priorities
change. Patrick and I were talking the other day about winning the lottery. The first
thing out of his mouth was, "I would build a play area for the kids at Duke...then it was
all about Payton's Foundation and our board of directors". We used to talk about taking
trips, now its about what we can do to help others. Not that we weren't like that before,
but this has really taken over our lives in a positive way. After we get home in 3 weeks,
Payton will receive OT/PT several times a week. Our doctor wanted her to go into
impatient rehab, but we feel that she would make better progress at home. Fortunately
and Unfortunately, Payton has me as a mother. I will be putting my OT skills in
overdrive to help her. I also know Ms. Sam will be on my ban wagon to get her
stronger. If everything goes well we don't have to be back at Duke for 6-8 weeks.
However, we have all seen that things always change. Patrick and I want to again thank
everyone for visiting us and helping us while we have been here at Duke. We want to
reach out to Gina's sister Angie. Thank you so very much for the plane tickets to fly
Savanna and Sydney up here to see their sister. They will be coming up this Friday. It
means a great deal to us to see our children and have them all together. Angie you have
done so much for us and we are sorry we have not formally thanked you. We can never
thank you enough for all that you have done for us. We are so blessed to have so many
people in our corner. I was given a book of quotes from my mom. Here are two of my
favorites. "I was taught that the way of progress is neither swift nor easy...Madame
Curie" and "Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is. The way you cope
with it is what makes the difference...Virginia Satir". We are all working hard everyday
to keep going and staying strong. Thanks to all in helping us fight for Payton. PT is here
working with Payton and I am getting pulled every few seconds. My thoughts are
everywhere, so I hope this update makes sense. I love you all and keep praying for the
miracle. Her getting well is out of our hands and in Gods. Make it a good day...It's
gonna be a good day!

Love you all
Holly and Patrick



Hello Everyone,
Today is Sunday, I am not sure of the date, I think the 24th. Anyway, I am sorry for the
delay of our updates. We have had a crazy few days since Payton's been discharged. We
were discharged last Wednesday and are staying in a residential hotel. It has a two
bedrooms and a kitchen (so we can keep up with Payton's food demands). All Payton
talks or thinks about is food. When she is eating breakfast she is trying to figure out what
she is going to eat for lunch and dinner (not only that day but the next day as well)! The
girls were able to come up this weekend with my mom. Thank you so much to Gina's
sister Angie for sending the girls Southwest gift cards to fly up here this weekend. We
had a great time with our girls. Kristen York came up on Wednesday. Lucky her, she
got to move us out of the hospital. She will tell you we had quite a bit (that's what 3
weeks in the hospital will do). Her parents Jamie and Fred have given us a car to borrow
from their friends, which we can't thank them enough. Jamie has been helping me with
Payton's sores on her bottom. Because of the radiation, Payton has a hard time healing.
We are trying very hard to keep these wounds from getting any bigger. They look so
painful on her bum. She has a small sore on her spine that we are trying to heal as well.
It is so frustrating for me, because as most of you know I am a obsessive mom. I am
rotating her, changing her, ranging her lower extremities all the time. I don't know what
to think her sores would be if we didn't be so diligent with her. This weekend was fun
for all of us. My dad, uncle bzer and our friend Jay came down as well to visit. We took
Payton and the girls to a hands on science center which has a very cool butterfly exhibit.
We also went to some good restaurants. Payton definitely enjoyed herself. However,
through all the activities, the only thing she wanted Patrick to do was "daddy, please drop
me off at the grocery store"! The grocery store is heaven to her. All she talked about
was trying to go to Kroger's (which is a grocery store). As I stated earlier, it has been
difficult to find time to do updates. Our schedule is hectic. Payton is needing to be
cathed every 6 hours. We are trying to stay on schedule (6am-12pm-6pm-12am). We
have to set our alarm to get up to cath her. Try doing that when you are exhausted! I just
keep telling myself, this is short term. Payton is also on a major drug schedule. Which
goes all day long. She only takes pills. Therefore, we have to cut them up for her. It has
been difficult watching our daughter go through this. Her expressions are flat and she
does not want to play. She enjoys books and movies. However, she needs to get up and
play. She cries when we are doing "therapy" with her. And basically I am just trying to
get her to play with her pet shop toys. I have been told that alot of her medications are
making her this way, but it is still hard for us. I will say that when ever we say we are
going to take her picture, a big smile comes out. We bring out the camera alot! No
changes on her lower extremity status. She continues to feel (on occasion) us touching
her toes and knee. She also can tell me what temperature I am using with a washcloth.
The doctor said it will take time to get her legs back. She is going to need intense therapy
when we get home. We are going to outpatient OT/PT here at Duke. Her day will
continue to involve radiation, school, and therapy. She will be a tired little girl. We have
heard there are several fundraisers coming up. We will update you on those as soon as
we get more information. We apologize, but we have been out of the loop on things. I
know you all understand. Our concentration right now is on Payton. We thank those
who are wanting to help and are putting these events together. We appreciate you
continuing our goal to get the awareness out. Again, I want to let you all know how
much the guestbook entries mean to us. You have no idea how much we need a push to
get us through the day. I also read a great quote in one of the latest entry "you cannot
change the direction of the wind, but you can learn to adjust your sails". That is exactly
what we are doing. Thanks for the quote. Also, please keep my other girls in your
thoughts and prayers. They are both starting to have issues. I have them in therapy, but
it has been so hard on them that mom and dad have been away. I will leave you with
another Payton moment. It was late at night and she was laying on the couch. I was
getting her pj's and Patrick was talking with her and asked he her what she was thinking.
She said that "God was healing me, he had his hands on me and is giving me strength".
When I came back into the room, Patrick said tell mommy what you told me. She said
the same thing. I don't think I need to say anymore.

Have a great day...It's gonna be a good day!


All my love

Holly and Patrick



Sept 26th

It is just after 5:00 PM and we just got back from the hospital after getting there at 8:00
AM. Payton had her typical radiation today, but her counts were a little off so they kept
her for hydration. She is not eating or drinking enough and has lost weight. So Thursday
we have to admit her again. She will get a feeding tube put down her nose to her
stomach. We should only be in a day or so, but they may leave the tube in for a week or
two to get her strength back. Just another step to recovery.
We heard today that if everything goes well her last day of radiation is Oct 11th. So we
should be home that day! Not soon enough. Then we will wait for a couple weeks after
that before she has another MRI to gage her progress on the radiation.
We are so looking forward to being at home with the Savanna and Sydney. Payton is as
well. She misses them terribly. We are anxious to see all our friends as well.

Thanks to everyone for keeping the house going, especially Sybil.

Love to all.
Patrick and Holly



Thursday Sept, 28th, 2006


Hello Everyone,
Today is Thursday afternoon. Some things have changed this week, as it always seems to
do for us, and not in our favor. On Tuesday we spent the day at the ―day hospital‖ in the
oncology clinic. Payton needed fluids. She was constipated and her sores in her bum
were not getting better. Due to radiation, patients don’t want to eat and sometimes drink.
Because she is getting spinal radiation, her stomach and throat are bothering her. Patrick
and I literally FORCE her to eat and drink. It is a battle every moment. In her eyes,
mom and dad will not get parents of the year award! We were told that she would need
an NG tube for feeding. Those of you who may not know what an NG tube is…it is a
tube that goes up the nose and down into the stomach. I agree with the doctors she needs
it because she is so skinny. You can see her ribs and hipbones. What we hope occurs is
that she gets caught up with her weight and becomes ―plump‖. We were to be admitted
today, but when we showed up on the oncology floor they told us they did not have any
beds available. They HOPE to have one either tonight or MAYBE tomorrow. It makes
us feel so sad to know that they are over booked with children with cancer. Today has
just been a bad day. This morning, Payton was crying and begging us to take her home
so she can play with her sisters and go swimming. It broke our hearts to hear her talk and
we spent our morning with tears in our eyes. We got through that episode right into
another. As soon as we got into the car to go to radiation, Payton was crying again
stating she had a headache and her back was ―killing her‖. Patrick and I again were in
hysterics. Those words are words we NEVER want to EVER here! We met the doctor at
the hospital to be relieved that (it there is such a thing as being relieved) she rubbed a
sore on her back with her car seat. Her session in radiation took longer than usual due to
extra x-rays they needed. The radiation oncologist ordered 7 more treatments on her
spine. We were supposed to be done yesterday with spinal radiation. If it weren’t for
INXS music…that is the only thing we feel that is getting her through these treatments. I
don’t know if I explained what her radiation treatments are like. It is hard for me to tell
all of you about what we go through everyday. It is the most difficult and stressful times.
I will try my best to describe to you what it is like for her just for the radiation part. We
have had several people visit and they all say the same thing. You have no idea what we
are going through unless you see and live this for yourself. When we go to radiation it is
around 9:00 am. We wheel her in a darkened room that has a narrow see through table
that Payton is to lie on. We immediately put on INXS (her favorite song is Hot
Girls…don’t ask). We undress Payton except for her diaper. We lay her on the hard table
and her head goes into a mold for support. It takes some time to position her correctly.
Did I mention it is COLD in that room and she has ZERO fat on her, therefore she
shakes. We tell her to close her eyes so that she does not see the mask go on her face.
The mask is made out of mesh plaster. It is sealed tightly to her face…she has mesh
marks all around her face and head because it is to fit TIGHTLY. Imagine! The mask is
then bolted down to make sure she does not move. She is in this radiation room for about
an hour. When she is done, we tell her she can open her eyes once the mask is
completely off her face. I felt it was important to have her keep her eyes closed the entire
time to decrease anxiety. So far it has worked. We then get her dressed, stop the INXS
music and leave. Now, Payton is extremely tired. So when I say her music helps….it
HELPS. I wish I could let INXS know what and how much their music has meant to our
daughter. I know she is 4 but this music keeps her going. The staff has said that they
usually have to sedate children and are amazed at how smoothly Payton completes her
treatments. Patrick and I would like to video her getting her treatment. By no means to
exploit her but to show what these children have to endure. I am hoping tomorrow we
can get started on her NG tube. She really needs to pack on the pounds. We hope to be
in and out of the hospital, but we are realistic and are planning for an extended stay. On
some other news Patrick and I were informed yesterday of a new addition to our family…
A DOG!!!!!! Thanks to Mimi!!!!!! My mother got a dog for the girls. At first I was not
too thrilled and needed to calm Patrick down. But again, the girls were so happy and
they really wanted a dog. The girls named him (I think it’s a boy…I don’t really know)
Buddy. Payton saw him on the web cam and thought he/she was cute. Savanna and
Sydney really needed a mental boost. They are having a very hard time with Patrick and
me being away for so long. I miss my girls so much. Payton last night was saying over
and over again that she couldn’t wait to be a ―family‖ again. She nailed it…we can’t
wait to be all together and a family. This disease and the past 6 weeks are starting to
affect us. We are still positive and supportive, but it is testing us. We are so tiered.
Physically and emotionally. We talk all the time about what we are going to do when
this is all over…things like painting, gardening, going to the beach on Friday nights with
the kids. Please don’t take those little things for granted. We would do anything to have
a moment of calm. Well I think I have started to write a book. Sorry it is so long. I do
want to thank Bill Lee with Professional Automotive Services who fixed our SUV for us
and Vi for setting it up. Also, in the guestbook entry, a cut-a-thon fundraiser is coming
up. Please look for it in the guestbook. Patrick and I cannot thank everyone enough for
all of his or her help in assisting us to get through this. We hope you have a good
day…It’s gonna be a good day‖ (somewhere).

Love to all
Holly and Patrick



Sept 29th,

Hello Everyone,

Today is Friday the 29th. Patrick and I can’t believe that we spent the whole month of
September here and at from what we are hearing today, probably most of October. This
has been a rough week for all of us. We feel that she takes two steps forward and 20
back. Today Payton needed platelets, fluids, and nutrition. They decided against the NG
tube for now because her platelets were so low (I mean seriously low). Also because of
her throat and esophagus pain, they felt it would do considerable damage to place in the
NG tube. She is on TPN IV feeding. She won’t be on that too long, because TPN
causes injury to the liver. Payton is starting to show signs of radiation burns. Her back
looks like she had hot liquid poured on her and her skin is coming off. I felt horrible
today. I put ointment on her back last night to help with healing. I secured the cream
with band-aids. When we got to radiation this morning I went to take off the bandages
because you are not to have any ointment on the skin. When we took off the band-aids
we also took off her skin. I began to cry. However, they told me that her skin is burnt
and will come off like that now. Even if she rolls in bed. It still didn’t make me feel
better. When I look at the sores and the pain she is in, it is killing me. We have her on
painkillers now for her skin and throat (morphine). It has helped. Doctor G said that we
should not make arrangements to come home yet. He said he wants to keep her for the
next week and a half. After that he will see how she is with her feeding, bladder, bowel,
etc. Then he will let us know if we can come back to Florida. If we are not allowed to
come home after the radiation is all over, I will try to come back for a few days so I can
take the girls to the Hanna Montana/Cheetah Girls concert. I also have their teacher
conference that I would like to attend. From what we are seeing on the web cam and
hearing from the girls, Buddy the dog is doing great. I was told Buddy is a boy. Buddy
was given swimming lesions this week at my mom’s house. She was cleaning out her
pool and Buddy just walked right into the water. Needless to say my mother had to jump
in with all her clothes on and rescue the dog. I don’t think that would have gone over
well with the girls if she drowned the dog the second day they had him. We will try to
update you all on Mon or Tues. Patrick is going to Pittsburgh this weekend for a golf
outing for Payton Foundation. I am computer challenged so I will wait until he gets back
to put on an update. Please pray it is a calm weekend. I am not liking the fact that
Patrick will be gone. He is my true backbone. I feel like I am a dam that has sprung
holes. I seem to be falling apart little by little each day. However, I only show and talk
to Payton in the most positive way. I do feel that she is being healed, It is just hard
watching her go through all of this pain. Please…Please keep praying for her to have
strength. Please believe in the healing miracle of god. Patrick and I hope you all have a
wonderful weekend…‖It’s gonna be a good day‖ – no matter what.

Love to all
Holly and Patrick



Monday
Oct 2, 2006

I just got back from Pittsburgh today and was glad to see that Payton was feeling a bit
better and eating more. She had a great weekend with Mamma Vi and Ms Lori. They
helped out Holly a lot and got to spend some girl time together. I think it was tough for
Vi and Lori to see Payton go through radiation, but until you do you just can’t believe
how strong she is.
I was in Pittsburgh for a golf outing that my very good friend Jack put together for
Payton with help from my brother-in-law Brian as well. I want to thank Jack for all his
support, time and love he put into one of the best golf outings I have ever been to. He
and his wife and two daughters worked very hard to organize the event. Jack is our old
neighbor when we lived in Pittsburgh. He and his family are the best friends anyone
could ever have and they mean so much to our family. We truly love them like family.
My brother-in-law also did a lot and I love that guy as well and can’t thank him enough.
I also want to thank the other volunteers as. Great job!
I wanted to say again to everyone in Pittsburgh and the people who came from far away
as well that I thank them so much for coming out to support Payton. It was great to see
friends that I haven’t seen in awhile and meet a lot of new people as well. I was as usual
emotional and tried to say a few words, but after Jack spoke a very heartfelt speech, I
struggled to get anything out. I was again just amazed at the graciousness and good in
people. Payton has made me a better man and I think she has touched so many others in
the same way. I can’t thank you all enough.

It is good to be back with Payton and we are working hard to get her better. We will be
back soon with more updates.

Girls if Mimi reads this to you know that daddy and mommy love you both very much
and we will be home soon.
Love to all,
Patrick and Holly



Hello Everyone,

Today is Thursday. This week has gone OK. Monday started out not so well due to a
few incidents (I am not going to go into details, but it was not good)! I will explain at a
later time. Anyway, Payton is eating more and more each day. She still is on her TPN
(IV food) but they are cutting it back – that’s a good thing. The plan as of today (which
we know changes from minute to minute) is that they cut back on her TPN to where she
only needs it for 12 hours (typically it will run over night when she is sleeping). That
way we are giving her the nutrients she needs to heal from radiation and the calories to
get plump. They are slowly changing her IV medications to pill forms so that again we
can get her off of all these wires! Her white count is pretty low so our radiation schedule
is on a day to day wait and see mode. As this point, they are only radiating the back of
her brain and pelvis. The pelvis is one of the main areas that produce bone marrow.
Because they are zoning in on her pelvis, her white count will have a hard time
recovering which means we may have to take some days off to recover. Payton has
radiation tomorrow then the weekend off. We then only have 3 more treatments and we
are done! Yeh!!!!!!!! I pray that we can get through the next few days without delay.
Our hope is that we get done Wednesday and go home to Florida on Friday. Again, I
must tell all of you how brave our daughter is through all of this. Her back is slowly
healing, she is pooping, eating a bunch, and trying to drink more. She will have a mouth
full of food and tell us to go get the doctors to show them she is eating so she can go
home. My heart is hurting for her. She cries daily to us about wanting us to take her
home. She misses her bed and sisters. I know I am going crazy, I can’t imagine how she
feels. I can’t wait to get out of here, but I am scared to death. I don’t want to be too far
from Duke and Dr. G. He is such an awesome doctor. We also LOVE our radiation
techs. Payton and Mr. Eric really enjoy listening to INXS during her radiation treatment.
She can’t wait to give him an INXS CD. Payton has changed the name of her hospital
puppy Buck to INXS. This group has really helped her get through these difficult
procedures. I also want to thank my brother and dad. They booked me for a spa
treatment that was called the ―Stress reliever deluxe package‖ and facial. I did not want
to go because I feel so guilty if I leave Payton’s side. But I must say it was so needed and
worth it. I was able to regroup and mentally get back on track. It was so awesome that I
booked Patrick to go today. We both need to stay focused and mentally sharp for Payton.
So thank you Brian and Dad!!! Payton is now sleeping and all is calm for a short while.
I know our prayers are working. She is eating and healing—we are blessed. I know God
has his hands on her and will make her well. Please believe it and continue to pray for
her. It is working. I love you all so much for being there for us. You have no idea how
much you all have meant to us. You all have a great day – It’s gonna be a good day!

Love Holly

Sunday, October 08, 2006
Hello Everyone,

Today is Sunday. We are still hopeful that we will be able to go home at the end of the
week. However, early Saturday morning Payton came down with a fever. There was talk
about stopping radiation for a few days in order for her to try to recover. Prayers were
answered and her fever was only that one time and she has been doing better ever since.
Payton’s TPN (IV food) has been cut to 12 hours and she is EATING very well. Her
favorite breakfast appears to be pickles, ice cream, spaghetti, cinnamon roll with icing,
chocolate protein shake, and eggs. She also asks for salad, fries, chicken, and grilled
cheese sandwich for breakfast (however, I am unable to find those items at 6AM). I
made a large container of spaghetti so we have that at all times. She eats spaghetti at
almost every meal. Her weight continues to incline at a nice pace. We are so proud of
her. She wants to go home and is doing what she is told to get out of here. We still need
to cath her every 8 hours, however, she is having several heavy wet diapers (that is a
good thing). At times she asks to be cathed because she feels her bladder full. Again that
is a good sign. I hope we start having our up swing of good news. I think she deserves
some. Payton’s skin is slowing healing. The improved nutrition has helped a great deal.
I feel so bad for her because she is SO ICHY! We have to have gloves/mittens on her at
all times. She rubs her face/head all the time. When we take the gloves off for her to
eat, we must watch her at all times because she will scratch herself until she bleeds. We
can’t afford her to lose any more blood. Payton is starting to get her personality back.
She is talking and interacting more. I received pictures of Payton from my friend when
she was at a birthday party. I loved looking at my little girl having fun. I tried to
remember her as a playful child. I began to cry because it seemed so long ago. I had a
hard time remembering Payton with her long blonde hair, chubby belly, and her high
energy. I really miss my Payton. I miss my girls and I miss my life back in Florida.
Patrick and I are so tired of feeling stressed and worried. I look forward to the day that
we tuck all THREE of our children into bed and lay in our bed without stress. A night of
all is well in the Wright household. That thought never leaves my mind. I know that
day is on its way. We are staying strong, positive and in deep prayers. We are so blessed
for having so many people behind us. We have great doctors here and some awesome
nurses that really care about our Payton. It has helped us with this long stay. We are so
happy for all of our friends who have come to be with us over the weekends. The
weekends are long because there aren’t any treatments or therapies. When we get visitors
it helps us mentally escape from our hospital situations. I also want to extend a huge
thank you to the teachers at McNeal who are looking out for Savanna and Sydney. I
should say the McNeal staff. Ms. Gigi (the school nurse) has spent several lunches
sharing a soda with Sydney. When I look on our guestbook entries, some of the teachers
are writing in praying for us and stating how they watch out for our girls. I don’t know
how to tell you how much that means to me. I am in the thick of this with Payton, but I
worry just as much for Savanna and Sydney. They are also the bravest little girls and
have been doing well in school and at home. I love you girls. Daddy and I will be home
soon. We will have our family dinners again. Thank you to all. Patrick and I could not
be where we are mentally without you. Have a wonderful day…It’s gonna be a good
day.
Love to all
Holly and Patrick




Tuesday October 10, 2006
Hello Everyone,

Today is Tuesday. We are still on track with Payton’s radiation schedule. One more
left!!! Her back is burnt very badly. It will take a while for her to heal. We were given
the green light to come back to Florida. Dr. G stated he was looking out for her
mental/emotional status. He knows how much she needs her sisters and how sad she has
been. Therefore, he is allowing us to go back to Florida to All Children’s Hospital.
Then we can go home. Payton will be on a Med Flight to All Children’s Thursday
morning. Our hope is that Payton will be examined and observed for a day or two and
then get to go home. We will need a home health nurse to come everyday for her TPN.
Dr. G felt he wants her to gain EXTRA pounds. Once she has put on some weight, the
TPN can come off. Payton will need major therapy. She is unable to sit up with out
assistance and is very weak. I know Ms. Sam, Sue and Margaret will whip her into
shape. We will definitely miss Payton’s PT/OT. They worked well with Payton (even
when she would yell or be resistive –not uncooperative but resistive). Today in therapy
they played INXS during treatment. Ms. Jenny had Payton on a therapy ball. Payton was
playing instruments and didn’t mind the bouncing movement. Again, a big thank you to
INXS. If they only knew what their music is doing for our little one. We gave Mr. Eric
an INXS CD so he can remember Payton. She couldn’t wait to give him the CD. I
think we got a lot of people hooked on their music. We will miss so many people here at
Duke. We had some awesome nurses/aids, the radiation team was great, the transporters
(especially Charles) were great, the doctors were wonderful…for such a horrible situation
we are in, we felt we had a great support staff behind us. Everyone took such great
care/attention to our daughter. One of a thousand examples is…at 4pm today the
nurses/doctors/child life team are having a party for Payton in celebration of her last
treatment and ability to go home. We all know what music will be played and there will
be FOOD. Payton originally stated no boys but daddy was allowed to come. However,
she said if the boys brought food they can come as well. Nurse Heather said the doctors
were going to Hardees for the French fries. I am praying as always that this worked.
Please keep the prayers coming. I also wanted to thank Shaggy’s Hair Salon for the
fundraiser they put on for Payton. We heard it was a great success.

Payton’s doctor’s and nurses just stopped by for a going away party for her. It was great!
They all danced to INXS and had a blast. I got some of it on video so when I get home
we can get the video on her site for you all to see.

Thanks for everyone again for all your help and looking forward to getting home.
Love to all,
Patrick and Holly



Saturday October, 15, 2006
Hello Everyone,

Today is Sunday. I am sorry for the delay in the update. I wrote 4
new updates, but because I am computer challenged…I lost them all.
Anyway, Patrick and Payton flew to All Children’s Hospital on
Thursday afternoon. It was a long flight due to the Florida storms.
Payton’s back is healing slowly, but looks so much better than earlier
last week. She continues to eat around the clock, but we noticed she
is starting to finally crave healthier foods (bananas, grapes, salad,
etc). Dr. B from All Children’s took her off TPN. Dr. B felt the
same as Dr. G from Duke…Payton needs to go home to her family.
Therefore, they let us go home Saturday. They will closely monitor
her food/drink intake and her healing process. She will be off
steroids as of tomorrow…yeh!!! Her face is very swollen due to the
steroids. Slowly, she is getting her personality back. Last night
she actually played like a 4 year old. It wasn’t for long, but at
least we saw our little Payton come
 to life. When Patrick brought her home, Payton cried when she saw
Buddy. She loves her new puppy. The girls can’t do enough to help us
and Payton. We are truly blessed to have these girls, each are
amazing. I flew home Wednesday to take the girls to the Hanna
Montana/Cheetah Girls concert. My mom and I had the best time just
watching the girls. It was their first ―concert‖. Ms. Sam and the
girls made my mom and me cheetah concert clothes to wear. There was a
group of us going to the concert. We all had so much fun. Savanna
said ―this is the best thing that has happened all year‖. The girls
really missed us. 6 weeks is a long time to be away from home. I
went to the girls teacher/parent conference on Thursday. The girls
are doing great in academics and in the social department (they get
the social piece from their father)! My mother got a great review as
well. Through all of this, my children are so well adjusted. I owe
that to my mom. She has been so wond
erful. My mom needs a huge thank you from us. She took a leave from
work and moved down here to take care of the girls. She not only
left her job, but her friends and most important my dad. Thank you
mom from the bottom of our hearts. All our children mean so much to
us. We are so grateful that the older girls are doing as well as they
are. Back to Payton, we don’t need to go back to Duke for 6 weeks.
God willing we will not be back before than. Therefore, for the next
6-8 weeks she will only be going to therapies. The next 6 weeks is for
her to heal (mentally and physically). Please keep the prayers
coming. This disease is out of our hands…God is the only one that
will heal her now! Right now Payton, Savanna and Patrick are watching
Rock Star Supernova (we TEVO). Payton is rocking out right now, its
very funny. She remembers watching JD from INXS on this show. When
she watches these shows, she thinks the singers are singing to her.
She blushes and turns he
r head. The singers are not her JD!!! I joke with her about him and
she says she is the only one that is allowed to smooch him. Right
now her white counts are very low. We would love to have visitors,
but we need to get her a little stronger. Within the week her counts
hopefully will get higher. We can’t wait to see everyone. You all
have been so supportive and keeping us on track. It has been a long
and hard 6 weeks. Watching our daughter go through the radiation
treatments and the burns from them is so hard for us. It has been
difficult to remember my little baby before this all happened. I want
so much to have my daughter back in full swing again. She has so much
to give to all of us. We watched video of Payton through out this
process. The decline is killing me. BUT...we are not giving up. She
has so much faith…I am learning from her. Payton will make it
through. Positive attitude with strong faith is what we keep going in
our home. Please keep those p
rayers coming. Have a good day….It’s gonna be a good day. She is
home!

All our love
Patrick and Holly




Monday Oct 16th.
Hi all. Hope everyone is doing well. Holly put an update on yesterday, so please scroll
up to see it as well.
Payton is doing pretty good this morning after a little scare last night. She got a headache
last night at 3:00 AM. Holly and I were very concerned, because those are one of the last
things you want to see your child have with brain tumors. We think it was from the pain
in her back from the burns she has. She handles pain so well and rarely complains about
her pain. We are monitoring her and gave her some pain meds to see what happens. So
far this morning she has said that she doesn’t have a headache. And,,,when we
questioned her further she said her back was hurting yesterday and last night. I will tell
you this, if my back looked like hers I would be on about 10 gallons of morphine a day!
We talked to her about letting us know if something hurts. The last thing we want is for
Payton to be in pain. We are really hoping the headache was from her back. She has an
appointment to see the doctors tomorrow for blood work and a check-up. We should
know more then, but if the headache comes back we will be going back to All Children’s
right away.
I was speaking with a friend of ours George and he mentioned Payton’s website and was
amazed at the amount of hit’s her site gets. You can see the counter just below her
picture on the main page. Today it is over 12,000 hits. He thought that was a lot and I
said yeah it was for 5 weeks! George thought the counter was up the entire time the site
was. I let him know that Nikki our administrator just put the counter system up 5 weeks
ago. So who knows how many hits the site has had since May. We both thought how
great that was that everyone one of those hits is a prayer for Payton!
Keep them coming.

Thank you all.
Patrick and Holly


3rd update today. Oct 16
9:30 PM Monday night.
Well this is the third update today. Holly will probably have something written tonight as
well. We had to take Payton back to All Children’s Hospital this evening. She came
down with a fever and with her counts are so low we had no choice. It is at least a 3 day
stay at the hospital. She just needs a break! I just feel so bad for Payton. She is such a
fighter, but this disease is as well. She just won’t quit though and neither are we. She
was in pain last night, but didn’t say a word. Her back is so raw from the radiation it
looks like she was in a 4 alarm fire. I just can’t believe how she handles pain. I am with
Sydney and Savanna tonight and Holly has Payton at the hospital. They were both
disappointed that we had to be separated again.
Holly may mention this later, but INXS has called a few times and today their manager
hooked up with Holly. I guess the guys in the band plan on speaking with Payton and
maybe getting together with her in November. I believe they are on tour in Florida then.
I think Payton will be so happy to meet the people that got her through radiation every
day for 6 weeks. We just can’t thank them enough for their kindness. I hope it makes
them feel good that their music helped a child deal with something that no child should
every have to deal with. Well my eyes are about as tired as can be. Probably not making
much sense, so I am going to end it here.

Love to all,
Patrick and Holly



Hello Everyone, 4th update today

Today is Monday. It is around 11:30pm. We are in jail again
(hospital)! Payton came down with a fever around 3:00 today. She
woke up around 3:30am this morning with a headache. Our hearts
sank. We kept asking her ―are you sure‖…so we were getting ready to
take her to the hospital early this morning. However, she fell asleep
and woke up an hour later saying she felt fine. My theory is she was
so excited to be home that she didn’t want to lie down for a moment.
She sat up the entire day. Payton used muscles she didn’t know she
had…therefore headache. Also, she later told us she had pain in her
back (skin pain) from the radiation burns. I feel that could have
also contributed to her headache. I pray I am right in my analysis.
So here I am again in a cold hospital room sitting in a chair hoping
and praying we get to go home in 3 days. I miss my bed, I miss my
other girls, and I miss my Patrick!!!! Patrick and I felt horrible
having to take her back to the
hospital. We kept taking her temperature every 5 minutes, hoping she
was just too warm from the blankets. However, we were wrong. The
fever never gave in and we have to call when she gets a fever of 101.0
or higher. We are not gambling with our daughter. We just suck it
up and do what we do. Fight to get her better. Besides her fever,
Payton is doing ok. Her wounds are slowly healing, she is
eating/drinking very well, and she is starting to participate in other
activities. This is really taking a toll on our family. Patrick and
I are really needing to dig deep to keep ourselves going. It is
impossible to tell you exactly what we go through each day. The
stress we have is never ending and always present. We can never
escape this nightmare. Situations that occur like last night is
shear panic. We can’t wait to feel the sense of calmness, joy,
laughter…right now it seems we will never get to that point. Please
keep us in your prayers, we so need them ri
ght now. The girls are very upset as well. This morning I told them
that we would have to most likely go back to the hospital. Savanna
broke down in tears and Sydney just went into her room and ignored my
statement. They both stated they didn’t want us to leave again. They
were afraid it would be another 6 weeks again. My only reassurance
was that we are going to All Children’s and wont be that far anymore.
Oh, we did have a major bright spot in our day. The manager of INXS
called us. She, as well as, the band sent their support for Payton.
I was so touched by the phone call I had to try not to cry while
talking to her about Payton’s radiation treatments. I was so glad to
know that INXS knew how much their music has meant to Payton…it helped
her through the most difficult time in her life. Their manager was
so wonderful to talk to…she sounded like an amazing women. Well, it
is almost 1:00 AM (I had to take breaks from writing to help Payton).
I will try to up
date soon to let you know how she is doing. Thank you for checking up
on her and caring so much about our little girl. Please, say some
prayers for us. My baby needs them more than ever. I truly hope you
all have a wonderful day. Remember…It’s gonna be a good day!


All our love
Patrick and Holly




Weds Oct 18th

Hello Everyone,

Today is Wednesday. Where do I begin…Payton has a staph infection in
her back due to open wounds and a UTI infection due to the cath. They
are still trying to determine the severity of the staph infection. At
first we were told that it could be MRSA (antibiotic resistant
infection) which we would have to stay in the hospital for 2 weeks.
However, I am all about what is best for Payton. She also needs her
mental health looked after as well. They ended up saying that ―most
likely‖ we can go home tomorrow with antibiotic treatments. I ask
again, ―Can this child ever get a break‖!!!! Payton is still eating
VERY WELL and drinking up a storm. Because of the radiation, Payton
displays increase in fatigue and is sleepy. The swelling in her face
has decreased quite a bit. Last night they had to access her second
port. Both ports need to be accessed at least once a month. The IV
team had to come in because it was not working. (No surprise)!!
However, I am glad to say both ports are working just fine at this moment!
Unfortunately my child has to keep getting poked at, but we are in a mission
of getting her well.
Ms. Sam came to visit today. She was joking around with
Payton and told her she was going to break her out of here and take
her home. Within a few minutes, Payton stated ―GO GET YOUR CAR and
TAKE ME HOME‖. When Payton realized Ms. Sam was not going to take
her out of here she got mad and wouldn’t talk to anyone. She got over
it when I bought her an ICEE. We had other visitors that came to
check on Payton today. I am as always overwhelmed by everyone’s
kindness and generosity. To take time out of your busy day to visit
or pull up Payton’s website and check in on her…it means so much to
us. I was telling a mom I met (Ms. Maria) that the guestbook entries
mean so much to us. We are really feeling the stress right now. When
we get such encouraging words from all of you, it gives us the extra
breath to keep going. Ms.
 Maria came with bags of toys for Payton to pass the time. Thank you
so much for thinking of her. I can not wait until Payton is well
again, I will continue what all of you have done for us…go that extra
mile to be supportive and extend a hand to those you are know and
those you have never met. I also wanted to say to all the Doctors and
nurses that have taken care of Payton the last 6 months both here and
at Duke. We love you all. Thank you for trying your best in helping
her to feel better. We have a very sick little girl and you all have
treated her with such kindness. My hat goes off to you all. You
deal with such sick little children day in and day out. I think I
can speak for all parents…thank you for taking good care of our
precious little children. I have to go…Payton is HUNGRY again. I
hope I can write to you tomorrow with the good news as we are at
home. Please know we are grateful to all of you. We are so wrapped
up in taking care of our children,
it is hard for us to get out those needed thank yous. From the bottom
of our hearts we appreciate all you do for us. Please keep those
prayers coming in for our little girl. There will be a day when I
write in my update two magical words…miracle and cancer free. You
should all then know you had a part in her healing…power of prayer
will work. Please have a wonderful day…It’s gonna be a good day
(especially if we are at home).

Love from our hearts
Patrick and Holly




Oct 19th
I put a new video on Payton’s site today. It may take awhile to download it is a pretty big
file. It shows Payton getting ready for her radiation putting on her mask and listening to
INXS. Eric, Rick and Michelle are the Radiation Technicians taking good care of
Payton. Hope it downloads.
Payton is home today and doing pretty good so far. Her back is still very raw and sore,
but she is hanging in there. We are hoping to have a good weekend with all three of the
girls at home.

I might try to bring her to Monty’s Pizza shop tomorrow (Sat) for a bit. They are doing a
fundraiser for Payton. I am also going to try to make it to the race going on in Sarasota
this Sunday as well. Thanks to you all for supporting her. We truly appreciate it.

Thanks and love to all,
Patrick and Holly




October 23, 2006
Monday

Hello Everyone,

Today is Monday. We were able to bring Payton home last Thursday from
the hospital!! Yeh!!!! Every day her back is looking better and
better. She is slowing up on her eating to a normal 4 year old pace.
At first I was worried, but then realized she is eating like a regular
little girl. We had our doctor visit at All Children’s today. Payton
needed platelets and some fluids. She was only given a small about of
platelets due to Blood Bank not having enough supply. Patrick and I
will be contacting our church (Harvest) to see if we can do a
blood/platelet drive. Donating platelets takes a little longer to
retrieve. If anyone has the time and is willing, please donate
platelets. I would be so grateful. It was an uneasy feeling knowing
my child could not get the amount of platelets that she required. I
know we are not the only ones in need. I am going to try to go this
week and donate. I need to go back to All Children’s tomorrow and
spend another full day in the
 clinic for Payton to receive the rest of her platelets and blood
transfusion. Her counts are higher (thank goodness). As many of
you know (especially the staff at Duke)…Payton loves to eat. She
asked if we could go to Carabas for dinner. We thought it wouldn’t
hurt if we went early to miss the crowd. She had her spaghetti and
meatballs with lots of bread. We then took the girls to look at
Halloween decorations at the party store. The girls chose a huge
monster to put at the front of our door. Hope you all like it! At
this point Payton is very tired. However, she doesn’t want to lie
down and go to sleep (the wild Payton is still intact). I just read
all of the guestbook entries…thank you so much for being our
cheerleaders. We need the pat on the back and encouraging words.
Lately, I have been so tearful and used my closet more. I just feel
so badly for my daughter. We watched videos of her from the beginning
of this horrific ordeal to now. My heart is broken…
She has endured so much. Patrick and I have no choice but to smile,
be positive, and pull ourselves together. Because even as it kills us
to see our precious daughter go through all of her ―treatments‖, she
is the only one experiencing them fully. It would be so selfish of us
to not stand up and fight with all our power to help and support her.

Dad is on board now. Payton just vomited a little bit and we had to
clean it up and get her ready for bed. It is 10:00 PM and she is with
Holly now on the rocking chair going to sleep. She used to love that
rocking chair and Holly would rock her most nights. She hasn’t been
able to do so for some time now.
I haven’t been in touch with some of our friends the last few days and
sorry for that. We just were running around this weekend trying to
get the house together and I was at Monty’s Pizza on Sat for a few
hours. They had a fundraiser for Payton and it turned out great!
They were just all the nicest people. I wanted to thank them
personally for everything they did and please know we appreciate it so
much. P.S. Thanks for the Balsamic Glaze as well!! Great stuff.

It’s mom again, Payton is cleaned up and sleeping in our bed (as
usual) we wouldn’t have it any other way. I need to go lay down
with her, but before I go thank you all for helping us get through
this. Oh, how we need you all right now. Please make tomorrow a
great day… you only get one tomorrow…It’s gonna be a good day! We are
all together and that is all that matters.

Well that’s about it for now. Have a great night.
Love to all,
Patrick and Holly

Addition to the above update.
I just spoke to Florida Blood Services and they advised us to have people in the area
interested in donating platelets to go to Lakewood Ranch Hospital or the main office on
Manatee Ave across from the hospital in Bradenton. I received calls today regarding
people who want to donate.
Phone number
Lakewood Ranch office 907-0806
Main Office 746-7195 x 109

You don’t need to do a direct donation to Payton. Just say you want to donate in honor of
Payton Wright. The Florida Blood Services supplies All Children’s Hospital where she
receives platelets.
Thanks to everyone who donates.
Patrick
Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Hello everyone. Payton is home today with no hospital visits!!!!

I just wanted to let everyone know that I added several pictures to Payton’s site this
morning. You can sort by hitting the ―last modified tab‖ and look at the ones from today
Oct 25th. There are a few from the party that the Duke nurses and Docs had for Payton.
There are some with her sisters, Mimi and Papa and a few of her just hanging out or
sleeping. There is also one of her on the radiation table with her dreaded mask on. She
is so glad to not have to wear that thing again.
Enjoy and have a great day.
Patrick


October 26, 2006

Hello Everyone,

Today is Thursday. This will be a very quick update, because our life
is extremely hectic now that we are home with Payton and two ACTIVE
girls. We had to go up to All Children’s today for more platelets.
Thank you to all who have signed up to give platelets. Payton will
need them every two days. We are off for the weekend and will go back
on Monday for blood work and platelets. Today was a ―good day‖.
Payton colored a picture today. It was the first picture that she
finished and stayed in the lines! Also, she wrote her name like she
did before this all happened. I cried! She also waited for the girls
to come home and actually wanted to play. They played with their felt
board friends. Yesterday, Payton finished a 25 piece puzzle all by
her ―own self‖. As you all know, Patrick and I love these small
miracles…they may be small but large to us. This truly was a great
day. I wanted to thank Lynn Strype for making Payton an awesome
silver ―I love INXS‖ bracelet
. Thank you Lynn! She wears it all the time. Lynn has made some
incredible bracelets for us. She made me an ―It’s gonna be a good
day‖ bracelet-I will always cherish. Also, we have a neighbor that
has not left their name but has dropped things off for the girls. We
appreciate them and thank you! I think the girls can make Payton a
great hat! Back to Payton…her back continues to heal and looks
better and better. I thank god everyday for his small and needed
miracles of healing. Payton’s motivation (besides INXS) is
Halloween. She is going to be Tinker Bell. The girls are going to be
pirates. She asks everyday to go trick or treating. If you see us
walking around before Halloween all dressed up, just chalk it up to
she wore us down. Halloween can not come soon enough around here.
Well, Payton is hungry again. Please keep the prayers coming. Today
was a nice day, but I really want to have everyday a nice day.
Please have a good day and keep our little baby
in your prayers.

Love you all…‖It’s gonna be a good day‖

Patrick and Holly




Monday October, 30 2006

Hello Everyone,

Today is Monday, October 30, 2006. We have had some great few days
with our family! We were at All Children’s today for more platelets.
Thank you to all who have signed up to donate platelets in Payton’s honor.
 Your platelets do not have to go directly to Payton. Just ask them to have them donated
in her honor. That way we build up her ―account‖. I hope to be able to replenish what
she has used. We are slowly taking her down on her pain patch. She continues to do
well with her eating/drinking. Everyday her back looks better.
Tonight she asked us if she could take a bath. Oh, how I couldn’t wait to put her in the
tub. Sydney had to hold her. Both girls have been amazing. However, Savanna is
fearful that she is going to hurt Payton. Sydney, on the other hand, jumps in with both
feet and doesn’t look back. Sydney has been the only one who will get in the tub and
hold Payton. Sydney can’t do enough for Payton. Our weekend was awesome. We ALL
went to the Boo fest, soccer games, fall festival,
a ride in the invisible car (Mark’s convertible…Payton calls his car the invisible car),
and church this weekend. It was so nice to be a family again. Don’t ever
take family times for granted! It was a cherished weekend for us.
We had some difficult moments though. Payton has been looking forward
to Halloween. So on Friday we get her dressed in her tinker bell costume. At that
moment she said ―OK I am ready to stand up and walk‖. I tried to explain that she
couldn’t, but she didn’t understand. She cried and I think it was starting to sink in that
she could not walk. We asked her all the time at Duke about her not being
able to move her legs/walk. We feel that she probably felt so sick she didn’t care to
move. Now that she is starting to feel better, she doesn’t get why her legs aren’t working.
It broke our hearts. Some good moments…she colored an entire picture…in the lines
and wrote her name. She also drew Mr. Mark a birthday card. It was a picture of her
holding his hand.
 We are loving these small miracles. Payton is starting to smile, talk and
joke around more. It is hard to believe that just two months ago, we were given hours for
her to live and now she is being, for the most part, a typical 4 year old child. Patrick and
I want you all to know that you had a part in saving her life. The money that was
donated, help pay for things like the Medical Flight to Duke, ambulance transportation,
hospital/medical bills, and medications etc.. When we were talking about our community
today, I needed to thank you all again. It doesn’t matter if $5, $10, $100 or thousands
were donated. Every penny helped us keep our Payton here with us to this very moment.
The other part is your prayers. She would not be here without you all praying for her.
You all should feel so proud of yourselves for helping a family…a little girl. As I have
said before, I used to be very good at thank you notes. You all deserve a personal note of
thanks from us. I am sorry that I have not been able to complete my handwritten notes. I
hope to someday be able to personally thank you all. Payton has been going back and
forth on her music choices lately. We of course listen to INXS daily, but it is now mixed
with ―Good Day‖ by Jewel. On her own has asked us to play her ―good day‖ song then it
goes to ―hot girls‖ song then back to ―good day‖.
What can I say she is obsessive! She has had some really ―GOOD‖ days. It was so nice
to see so many of you this weekend at all the events. As I always say we are so blessed
to have so many people care and pray for our precious daughter. Please know that your
prayers are meaningful and are heard. She is healing. We are able to have a small break
right now. I hope with the continued prayers we will have an infinite break! Thank you
from the bottom of our hearts. Please, please continue your prayers for Payton and my
girls. They need them so much. I hope you all have a wonderful day. I mean that!
Remember, ―it’s gonna be a good day‖!

Love always,

Patrick and Holly




November 3, 2006
Friday

Hello Everyone,

Today is Friday. This has been a very hectic week for all of us.
Payton has been feeling OK. On Tuesday, Payton went to her sisters costume parade at
their school. She does not like being around a lot of people, so she was not very happy
that morning. After the parade she made homemade pumpkin muffins. When she grows
up I am pretty sure she will be a baker! All she wants to do is bake and cook! It’s fun to
be in the kitchen with her. Anyway, after we baked that morning we went to PT with Ms.
Margaret. She cried the entire time. Payton is very fearful of moving. It is so sad to
watch her not be able to be in some control of body. All day long we had to make a list
of things that needed to be done before going trick or treating. We finally made it to
Halloween night! We get to mama Vi’s house for our annual pizza on the driveway
before trick or treating. Payton complained of a headache and again cried. She did not
want to go out for Halloween. My heart is now in my stomach because I don’t know why
she is having headaches. As I stated before, headaches are not good. Well my mom took
her inside and was able to do relaxation techniques with her. We finally calmed her
down and she asked to go out trick or treating. She had a great time. We couldn’t go
far…she became very tired. We definitely did too much that day. She was with her
friend Jordan and it was so nice to see the two of them going out like they did last year.
At one point Payton did not want Jordan to walk with her…when I asked her why, she
said she was afraid Jordan would get all the candy because she gets to the doors first.
Typical Payton statement (looking out for her food). Wednesday was a day of sleep for
Payton. Again she had another headache, but I think this was do to lack of sleep. She
slept for a good 4 hours that day. She baked with my mom and hung out
coloring and playing with her sisters. We found out that she has another UTI and the
antibiotic she was one was resistant to her infection. We have her on a new one and
hopefully this will work. I was told to reuse the tubing, but I am convinced that they
don’t get cleaned enough. Therefore, I am no longer washing the cath tubing and reusing
them. I ordered 300 tubing from a medical supply company. I hope they come in
quickly. Thursday, we went to All Children’s for her blood work. Her counts looked
great! No platelets were needed…finally. She is starting to
get her counts up all on her own. We are scheduled to have her MRI possibly on
Monday, December 4th. Please pray for a good outcome. We met Dr. Morelli after out
appointment. Payton asked him when he will take her on his boat. She isn’t shy! So we
are most likely
going this Sunday if weather and Payton permits. She also told him ―my mother has lost
her mind, you need to give her some pills‖! How observant she is! We also have our
Make a Wish to Disney on November 26th to December 3rd. We will enjoy our week as
a family and hopefully put out of our minds the MRI. We hope we will be able to get to
see INXS this month. I think they are coming before Thanksgiving. As you all know
Payton would love to see them. I played a CD of their greatest hits. She sat for a while
listening and said ―could you put on the real INXS CD‖? She loves her JD. Sorry that
this update took all week, but Payton is in constant demand. We will try to be better at
keeping you all updated. My father has mailed us down cards that people have sent to
Payton’s wellness. Each card and note touch us so deeply. You have no idea what the
gestures/thoughts/well wishes mean to us. Children running lemonade stands to raise
money to a couple getting married in Sarasota, Fl asked at their shower for no gifts just
donations for Payton instead. This couple’s letter was so touching to Patrick and I and
others we showed it to. We appreciate it so much. We cry all the time, not out of
sadness but of the kindness you all have shown our family. Please know to all of you we
are grateful from the bottom of our hearts. We don’t know how to thank you. We will
do our best to personally thank you, but between caring for our children and working
with the insurance companies (they are driving us crazy…it’s a full time job just making
sure we are not over billed and that THEY are paying the bills). Thank goodness we
have friends like Barb helping us with the insurance stuff. We keep getting the run
around and it’s a shame they do this to people who are going through this. Well, that will
get me going so I will end here. So far Friday has been quite for a change. We were up
all night because she didn’t feel well. I think it is the new antibiotic. Please have a good
day and I hope we can have a calm weekend.

It’s gonna be a good day!
Love Holly and Patrick



November 6, 2006
Monday

There are some new pics on from Halloween and I am putting some on from Dr Morelli’s
boat yesterday. It was very nice of him to take us all out for some fun time together.
Enjoy.
Search by last modified.
Patrick



Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Hello Everyone,

Today is Monday. We spent a good part of our day at All Children’s for blood work and
Payton needed platelets. Thanks to all who have been donating blood/platelets in
Payton’s honor. We had a pretty good weekend. On Saturday, we went to the girl’s
soccer games and then took them to see the new Santa Clause 3 movie. Payton slept
through most of it, but she will tell you it was a good movie. I think she just liked having
the cherry slushy. On Sunday, Dr. Morelli and his wife invited us to go on their boat up
in Tarpon Springs. It was beautiful. At one point, I was surrounded by our three girls.
It was
priceless! Payton was too concerned with food the entire time. I brought her favorites
(chicken, noodles, pretzels and Dora fruit snacks). However, she wanted Carabas
spaghetti, then a happy meal, then chips, then… then…then… it went on and on. When
we got off the boat we had dinner outside by the water. The girls had a great time.
Thank you again to the Morelli's for spending the day with the Wrights (we are a crew).
As I stated earlier, Payton’s MRI is scheduled for Monday, December 4th at 9:00am.
Please keep praying for her, especially up until that day. My heart is staying strong. I
feel God is greater than cancer, I pray he wants her to stay…I hope to show everyone his
miracle…healing of Payton. However, my head is scared. I have such anxiety. I don’t
want to lose my little girl.
Patrick talked to Dr. G from Duke. He wants to see the MRI before we schedule a flight
to see him. He said that since she is still requiring platelets and she keeps having UTIs he
can’t do anything anyway until she is fairly healthy. I think the only thing he has left is
low dose of chemo. I don’t think there is anything else he can do. That was hard to hear
today. However, he said radiation tends to work for months, so who knows. Glass half
full right? I am not giving up. I never stop praying, even when we are out, driving,
eating, etc. I always pray for her healing. I am exhausted.
We are scheduled to go to Disney the end of November for Make a Wish.
The girls are so excited. I hope Payton is feels well and does enjoy herself. Also, there
is an ice cream fundraiser that is coming up. When we receive more details, I will post it
and let you all know. Payton has been baking and baking. Her love of food is amazing!
We bake all the time now. My neighbors are going to get their share of sweets this
month! Cause I don’t really want to gain 500 pounds eating it all. Well, I read the latest
updates. Thank you again for
uplifting us and sending encouraging words. I read a few to Sydney tonight. It meant a
lot to her when so many of you included ―Payton’s sisters‖. She felt she mattered just as
much as Payton. I am sorry so many of you have difficult getting your messages across.
We are working through Patrick’s office to post the entries. Some may get lost in
transaction. We are trying to figure out other options. One of Patrick’s co-workers
Nicole posts the guestbook messages. I need to give a big thank you to her. She takes
time out of her day to do that for us.
One of our Lakewood Ranch neighbors is opening another Cold Stone Creamery. They
are having a Grand Opening Event in Payton’s honor on Saturday the 18th of November
from 11:00 Am – 8:00 PM. They are located in Sarasota, on Hwy 41, 4248 South
Tamiami Trail, a few blocks South of Bee Ridge. We can’t thank them enough for their
support and kindness.

Well, I need to get some sleep (if possible). Please have a wonderful day. I am sorry to
always request, but please we need you all to pray for our little one. That is all we have.
I do believe that we will have a good day…It’s gonna be a good day.

Always our love,
Patrick and Holly



Saturday November 11, 2006

Hello Everyone,

Today is Saturday morning. We have had a full week between hospital visits, school,
therapy, etc. Payton has been doing very well. I hate to write that because I don’t want
to curse her. Her back is all healed and her personality is coming back. I actually see my
Payton again! Even though it was a good week for us and enjoying our time
together…Patrick and I are having crying spells more than ever. He has now rented
space in my closet for crying. I don’t know if it is because we finally have a calm
moment in our lives that we can let down our guard or that we know December 4th is
coming upon us soon. We have our tearful moments. I think that is why it takes me
longer to write the updates lately. Anyway, if you heard Payton talk and act you all
would be amazed. If you didn’t believe in the power of prayer, you should now. She
mentally is sharp, funny, and beats me in my little pony memory game all the time. Her
skin looks better and as I said earlier, her back is healed. She continues to have her
―headaches‖ but we have realized that she needs to get food and liquids in her. Once she
eats and drinks her headaches are gone…no medication is needed (thank heavens). We
are still on target for Disney, not sure if we will see INXS (haven’t heard back from their
manager) that’s ok, they at least know about our Payton. Payton keeps thinking that she
will be completely better by Disney. It has been difficult for her to know she won’t be
walking by then. She also likes watching the travel channel with her dad. She has
decided that she will go to England for have her English tea (we are tea drinkers in this
house). Her favorite is Chi tea. We have a cup of tea together every morning. After we
go to England she wants to go get spaghetti in Italy. She asked if they have desserts in
Italy. After we get done eating, she then would like to visit all the castles. Food and
princesses…that is all she care about. I hope I can book her trip someday to celebrate
her being completely healed and cancer free. This week Payton needed platelets twice.
Her counts are ok…enough to be about to participate in activities. Yesterday, my dad
came into town. We took her to the park and she got on the swings. She loved it! I took
her down the slide a few times and she wants to go back this morning! Jack and Donna
are coming tomorrow for a week to see Payton. We will have a houseful the following
week as well with most of our family down for Thanksgiving. The next few weeks will
be spent with family and friends and enjoying the Holidays. Normally this is a very busy
and hectic time for us and this year probably won’t be any different. It will definitely be
a special time. Thanks for everyone who continues to help us, pray for us, and just be
there for us. It means so much.
Love to all,
It’s gonna be a good day!
Patrick and Holly



Saturday the 18th of November

Hello Everyone,

Today is Saturday around 10:00pm. This week started off fairly well and turned out to
cause me chest/stomach pains. I will be honest, it has been very difficult for me to write
updates. I am in a tearful mode and I am trying daily to keep positive and function with
every aspects of my life. Remember when I said I don’t want to curse her
by stating she is doing well in the updates? Well, she has taken a slight downward slope
in her healing. Since Thursday, she has started to have back pain and headaches. Each
day it seems to get a little worse. Today we had to fight with her to eat and drink. She
does not have a fever but I know she has a UTI. We didn’t get the results of her lab work
from Thursday, but I am positive she has one. We called the doctor earlier today to get
antibiotics and it is now 10:00 at night and they finally called in the prescription. I am
feeling frustrated with everyone involved with her care. I would be here all day
explaining that statement. But I am not a happy camper right now. We can not leave her
side. I understand where she is coming from. To depend on others for every aspect of
your care, would be frustrating. I feel so badly for her. This disease is so cruel…I look
at pictures of her only 6 months ago and see such a different child. It is hard to believe
what has occurred in such a brief time period. I am hoping we will make it to Disney. If
this occurs next weekend, I am not sure we will go. She is so lethargic and not her
spunky self. It’s killing me. There was a good moment this week. A person I have
never met (Tracey Fox) wrote a children’s book for Payton. It is about seven different
angel fairies. Each fairy has a special talent. It was so beautiful and amazing. She also
sent seven ceramic fairies that go with the book.
It is something I will cherish forever. She said she had always wanted to write a
children’s book but never had an idea. Well she go one through Payton and what a book.
I am hoping she will get the rights to her book so we can print them for all to enjoy. I
don’t know if I mentioned our neighbor Tiffany. She wrote a song for Payton and on
Halloween Savanna and I went over to hear it. Oh my, she is talented as well.
I would like to get her song taped for Payton to hear in addition to her healing music. I
have not been able to get Payton over to hear it. I hope to get her to hear the song soon.
Even though Patrick and I are having some very difficult moments, we still are not giving
up on miracles and prayer. Please keep on praying for our little girl. Please…plead her
case. Have a wonderful Sunday. I hope to write better news next time.

Love always,

Patrick and Holly




Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Hello Everyone,

Today is Monday. We had our usual appointment at All Children’s today and Payton did
not need platelets! Yeh!!!! However, as I expected last Thursday, Payton does have
another UTI. She has shown some improvement since we started her on antibiotics on
Saturday. She continues to have her headaches, but we are speculating she is not
drinking enough. Therefore, we have been on a mission for some serious drinking of
―Shirley temples‖…sprite with cherry juice. We have definitely seen her perk up more
today (thank heavens). We
received some fun news for Payton. She will be meeting the band of INXS tomorrow.
They sent us a DVD documentary of them when they made their new album SWITCH.
Let me tell you, Payton will watch that DVD at least 5-6 times a day. In the DVD, JD
blows a kiss into the camera and of course Payton tells you he blew the kiss for her. She
will say, I know he likes me. We joke around and I will say I am going to give him a
kiss. She quickly yells at me and states that only she is allowed to kiss him. Then in her
next breath she makes me say how much I love Patrick. Can you tell how much she
loves her father! She is a major daddy’s girl! I will let you all know on Wednesday how
tomorrow night goes. We are all excited. Savanna and Sydney have already picked out
their outfits. I am hoping Payton is going to fell better to meet them. I have visions of
her yelling at all of us or just not feeling well enough to
go. I know it will crush her if she doesn’t get to meet them. Keep your fingers crossed
that she has a good day. Speaking of good days, I am sorry that my last few updates are
showing my fear and sadness. I think it is because December 4th will determine
everything. If the radiation did not work…that is probably all we will be able to do. My
fear is of course losing my daughter, but I also fear watching her get sicker and be in
more pain. When she was in so much pain the night before we took the life flight to
Duke…it was unbearable. I can not explain what it was like to watch her be in so much
pain. As I think I have stated before, I am praying because I believe in the power of
prayer and that God is greater than cancer and miracles do happen. I wouldn’t pray if I
didn’t believe. BUT as a mother, a human being, I am scared to a point I can not explain
to any of you. We don’t sleep around here, and my stomach most likely is one big ulcer.
I know my mouth is! Many of you have said that we are so strong and an inspiration.
Well, I would like to say all of you are such an inspiration to us. You all help keep us
strong and fighting. I cry at a drop of a hat anymore. I can’t even get to my closet fast
enough. Therefore, I have ―stubbed my toe a lot around the girls‖! As I read the quest
book entries tonight…you all are so wonderful. The kind and encouraging words were
just what I needed. I will not give up on my daughter. I may cry more, but I am still in
fight mode. I do believe in miracles and the power of prayer. It has gotten her this far.
We can not give up. My little girl has made it through so many tough times, I know God
must be listening. Healing takes time. Thank you for staying in the fight with us and
helping us get through this horrific chapter in our life. Please have a wonderful day and
a great Thanksgiving week. I mean that with all my heart. And as I could not bring
myself to write in my last update…It’s gonna be a good day…no matter what, make it
one.
Thank you and Love as Always,

Holly and Patrick



Wednesday, 22nd
Hello Everyone,

Today is Wednesday. Yes we made it to see INXS! Payton had a great day yesterday.
She was so excited to see HER band. We made it up to Orlando around 4:00pm. Payton
and the girls couldn’t wait to get dressed in their INXS clothing. Payton would not stop
talking and being funny all through dinner. However, after dinner she said she wanted to
get her pj’s on and go to bed. We let her nap an hour before going to meet the band. We
met INXS at the House of Blues in downtown Disney. They were wonderful. Payton
introduced herself to the band members and had a smile from ear to ear. The best part,
she will tell you, is when JD kissed her head. Oh did she blush and had a smile a mile
wide. We were able to watch the concert in a private room looking down on the stage.
It really was awesome. We will post our pictures soon. You will all see how happy the
girls were. We had to be at All Children’s this morning at 9:00am. It was very difficult
for us to get up and drive from Orlando to the clinic, but we did it…only 12 minutes late!
Again, Payton did not need platelets and her counts looked good.
The rest of the day, Payton was tired with a slight headache. I do hope we make it to
Disney next week. The headaches are concerning.
We are really feeling stressed out right now. We are really going to make the best out of
tomorrow. Thanksgiving has a whole new meaning for us. We will look at this day
differently and appreciate the moments. I know this update is brief, but Payton is yelling
at me to watch a show with her. Please have a Happy Thanksgiving. Keep the prayers
coming, that is all we need right now. Have a wonderful day…
It’s gonna be a good day (we are all together)!


Love Always,

Holly and Patrick



Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Well the week started off pretty good. We got to Disney and the Give Kids the World
Village. It was awesome! What a great thing they do for kids and their families. We
arrived Sunday early evening. Monday we went to Seaworld, but Payton only lasted a
few hours. Long enough to see Shamu and go back stage with the sea lions and pet and
feed them. She was vomiting and complaining of headaches, so we went back to the
villa. Tuesday came with more of the same symptoms, but she wanted to go to Disney to
see the princess’s. The folks at Disney were unbelievable. They rallied together to find
most of the characters and this really sparked Payton to have a great day. We didn’t get
back to the villa until after 6pm! However, she did start vomiting again and was up at
around 2am this morning with a headache. So we packed the minivan up and left to All
Children’s hospital in St. Pete very early. We are here at the hospital with IV fluids for
Payton and a CT scan scheduled for 2:30 this afternoon. We are very nervous and have
been for a week or so because of the pending MRI on Monday. We are hoping that she
just needs some fluids and she will be ok. She is hanging in there, but very upset to be
back in the hospital. Make a Wish called and said we could reschedule her trip for
another time if we are unable to go back this week. That is very nice of them and the
people at the Make a Wish foundation and Give Kids the World are truly blessed people.
As I write this I am looking at Payton and Holly in the hospital bed watching ET. She is
very content to be doing so.
We will be in touch soon.
Love to all.

Patrick and Holly

Hi everyone! This is Nikki, I do the upkeep to Payton’s website and wanted to let
everyone know of an auction we are doing for Payton. Someone generously donated an
Elmo TMX doll to us so we can hold an auction for it. I have added an auction link to
Payton’s website and ask that anyone who wants to participate in the auction to please
bid. Every little bit counts and is appreciated.

Thanks!!


Wow Nikki thanks for the above,,,I don’t even know what an Elmo TMX doll is, but
whoever donated it please know that we thank you very much!

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

10:15 PM. A lot has happened since the last update earlier this afternoon. Payton had a
CT scan and it showed she had swelling in her brain. Her ventricles were very swollen
and the Neuro P.A. pulled off 25 cc of fluid from her brain. No wonder she was having
headaches. Holly and I were pretty scared and nervous this afternoon. The neuro doc
told us that her shunt was not working and they needed to take her to the operating room
right away. They were going to check out the shunt and decide if they had to replace the
entire thing or just the bottom tubing in her stomach. Well the fluid came back positive
for an infection so they took out the old shunt and put an external one in. So she now has
a tube sticking out of her head draining her fluids from her brain. She will keep the
external one for about a week or until they get the infection under control. Then she will
need to go back to surgery to put another internal shunt. We are not sure why they are
malfunctioning, but probably have something to do with the amount of proteins in her
fluid and the fact that she kept scratching her head around the previous shunt. I must say
once again she amazed Holly and I and the docs and nurses with her courage. She was
back to her old self after the surgery in no time and wanting to sit up and she talked to
everyone who came in the room. She tolerates pain like no one I have ever seen. Payton
is on her third shunt has been through so much, but as always and again just makes me so
proud of her. I am staying with Payton tonight and I am so tired my eyes are just burning
like crazy. I am watching her sleep like the little angel she is and she looks so peaceful
so I am going to try and get some rest…..well not really…The nurses have to check her
vitals ever ½ hour for several more hours then every hour for the rest of the night. So not
going to get much sleep as usual. I can’t even go back and read through this to see if it
makes any sense. So I apologize if it was confusing. Just know that even though Payton
had one tough day she is resting peacefully and is so beautiful.
Love to all,
Patrick and Holly.


Thursday, November 30, 2006
Hello Everyone,

Today is Thursday. Payton is doing much better today. As usual we are not out of the
woods yet. Payton will be closely watched and we hope that her infection clears in a
week. She will then have a new
shunt put in and will have to stay another three days. As Patrick stated in the update she
is incredibly brave. They needed to relieve her pressure quickly, so they came into her
room stuck a needle in her
shunt to drain the fluid. Talk about pain! She keeps asking me "how long are they going
to keep me this time"? And as I always answer all of her medical questions, I don't
know...I have a migraine coming on, so this update will be shorter. The stress over the
last 24 hours has killed my head. I have to face
it now that after next Monday I will most likely have a migraine for the entire week. For
all of you who say I am strong...my head and stomach will tell you differently! Please
keep praying for Payton.
This little angel needs every one of them. I hope I can write to you all on Monday...It's a
miracle. Have a wonderful day, it looks so pretty out. Enjoy the day and your family.
We are having a good day
so far...one day at a time. It's gonna be a good day!

All our love,
Holly and Patrick

P.S. Check out the new pictures from the INXS concert and the little time we had at
Disney and Sea World. Easiest way is to view by (last modified) and start with the ones
from today 11/30/06.
Enjoy!


Another P.S.
Just heard from the V Foundation and the Vitale’s that Dick will be talking about the V
Foundation, cancer awareness and Payton live on ESPN Tuesday evening. Mr. Vitale
will be on at half time during the 9:00 PM game. Pretty cool. Payton is becoming a
champion herself for cancer awareness.
Love to all,
Patrick




Tuesday, December 4

Hello Everyone,

Well today is Monday, December 4th...The power of prayers have been
heard!
A miracle was shown today. Payton's MRI showed decrease size and number of her
tumors. It was a great day. We are waiting for Dr. G from Duke to review the MRI's and
confirm what we were told/shown. There was a lot of crying today. There are no words
to describe how we feel right now. We have had such bad luck and news for so long, this
was so needed for us...for Payton. I prayed all weekend for God to give me a sign on his
plan for her. I hope this means she will recover and stay with us. I don't want to push my
spiritual beliefs on any of you, but in my heart Payton's condition is out of any ones
hands. The only thing that can help her is God. I feel that all of you helped her so much
by praying and asking for her healing. I cannot thank all of you enough for that.
Tomorrow, Payton will be getting her new shunt put in...if her third spinal fluid comes
back negative for infection. If she has surgery tomorrow, we will be home on
Wednesday. Yeh!!!! We also found out that we can retake our Make a Wish trip. I hope
we will be able to go soon...she is doing so well right now, I don't want to miss this good
opportunity. Well, as I knew I would get today...Migraine...I need to lie down. I am
staying with Payton tonight, so the chair will be my bed. Thank you all for the kind
words, well wishes and prayers. As you see, it worked!!!!!! Please don't stop we are not
out of the woods yet. Please have a good day...It's gonna be a good day (today was
proof).

All our love
Holly


Tuesday December, 5th
11:15 pm

I am sitting here at the hospital (All Children’s in St. Pete) with Payton. She is sleeping
soundly. I am watching the Louisville and Arizona college hoops game announced by
Dick Vitale. It is the Jimmy V classic. The foundation is raising money for cancer. Dick
Vitale is such a great champion for cancer and the V Foundation. I couldn’t stop crying
at ½ time. Dick was talking about cancer and Payton on national TV at ½ time. He
didn’t just mention her name, but he talked about her and what she is going through. I
can’t thank him enough for what he has done for our family and for cancer. I hope she
helps the V Foundation raise millions and millions for cancer research! WOW it was
pretty cool. I have been on a high for a day and this was a great way to end my night.
I am a big fan of the V Foundation and if you are looking for a good way to help fight
cancer this is a great way. I heard them say they now can give everything they raise to
cancer research because of the endowment they have, so every penny should go to fight
cancer. I am not just a fan because they are donating a 50,000 dollar grant in Payton’s
name to Duke. They do a lot of great things. Check them out online at
www.jimmyv.org

Payton didn’t get her operation today, it has been scheduled for tomorrow. Hopefully we
will be out of here by Thursday. Payton was crying a lot tonight asking to just go
home….She is such a good little girl. I am so proud of her and how she handles herself.
She is so beyond her years and is such a fighter.
I talked with Duke today and they have her MRI that I sent overnight and Dr G should be
able to look at her scans tomorrow. Hopefully he will confer with the doctors at All
Children’s. I am still very nervous and will be until we hear from Duke. One day at a
time.
I wanted to thank everyone for the calls and emails on the news of her MRI results. I
think everyone, not just us, were in need of some good news. We are still in for a long
haul and we continue to need your support, thoughts and prayers.
We are so appreciative of everyone who continues to be in this fight with us. Good night
and God bless.
Love to all,
Patrick and Holly




Thursday, December 07, 2006

Well, it is now Thursday morning. I am a bit late getting Holly’s update on. Here it is. I
just spoke to Payton and she sounds great! Can’t wait to get home she says. Should be
this afternoon! Cross your fingers.


It is Wednesday evening. Payton had her surgery this afternoon. As of this
moment everything went fine. I am very nervous to go to bed tonight. After
our last shunt installment at Duke (major seizures etc...) I am fearful of it
not working. There are so many complications that can occur. I keep telling myself to
stay focused and positive...it is becoming very hard work! We hope we will be able to go
home tomorrow. However, the doctor stated that he would like us to wait three more
days. He took another culture of her spinal fluid and
wants to see the results. I don't want to risk anything, her well-being is most
important. However, I was instructed today on how to administer her IV
antibiotics when we get home. I don't think it should make any difference if I administer
it at home or if she gets it here. (Except she will be more happier at home)! If the culture
shows growth, all they would do is change her meds. I am already administering her
meds...I'll just get the new meds. I think it is more risky staying in the hospital where she
has more chances of getting an infection then me taking her home. Anyway, I will be
giving my speech tomorrow...lets hope they agree. As I have stated earlier, my eyes are
becoming wide open on the need of change in our medical care. I found out that Manatee
County does not have pediatric home health. That is why I had to be training on
administering her IV antibiotics. She will be getting her antibiotics 3 times a day that run
over 2 hours. Her schedule will be 6am,2pm, and 10 pm (which means I won't get to bed
until midnight)! Oh well, I'd rather have her home...I'll stay up all night if I had to just to
have her at home. She wants to be home so badly; Patrick and I will do what ever we
need to do to make that happen for her. I spoke with a hospice agency up here, they
would like to branch out to Manatee County. They need me to write a letter to help them
with the process. As you all know, Patrick and I will do anything we can to help future
families. I'll keep you posted if they are successful in branching down our way. We have
not heard from Duke yet. Patrick and I are very nervous. I have felt so blessed that my
little one had a miracle happen to her. I guess I don't want this bubble to burst. I hope he
doesn't come back and say we can't do any thing more. We had such a good week, I am
so afraid for her, for us. This is why my stomach and head pains have not gone away. I
know I have said this on my last update, we had the most wonderful news and miracle but
we are definitely not out of the woods. I hope that you all continue to pray for our baby. I
cannot thank each and every one of you for hanging in there and sincerely praying for
Payton. I honestly feel that the power of prayer is what helped Payton. You all are
helping us save our daughter. Please keep pleading her case to the big guy! I have
learning so much about prayers...there are so many others that I pray for each night. I
hope the heavens hear my additional prayers. Well, thank you for
checking in on Payton today. Please make it a great day...It's gonna be a good
day!


All my love
Holly and Patrick



Tuesday, December 12, 2006
9:00 PM

Hello Everyone,

Today is Tuesday. Well, Payton, Mimi and I spent all day on Sunday at
All Children's emergency room. As I think we put on the last update, we had to
administer her IV antibiotics at home. It was going smoothly until Sunday. We had a
really hard time getting the antibiotics into her that morning. We called the doctor and as
I stated, went up to the ER. They had a really hard time getting her port to work. We
were sent home with medicine to help dissolve the
clot in her line. Thank heavens Payton has a double port. We are able to use the other
port to administer her meds. On Monday, we had our appointment at the clinic. She
needed platelets (her count was 66 and she needs to be 80 and above per the neuro team).
Again, they tried to get her port working, but were
Unsuccessful. We will be going back to the clinic on Thursday for blood count check
and the IV team will once again try to get her port working. The poor little thing has to
keep getting stuck with the needles. But as I always say, she is a trooper and a BRAVE
little girl. Payton has been feeling pretty good. Last night she and her sisters were
playing Bratz dolls in her room. They all were sitting on the floor (Payton in her floor
chair). It definitely was a great
moment for Patrick and me. She has been talking lately about not wanting to play with
little friends only big friends like Mimi, her sisters, mom/dad, etc. She also thinks she is
not pretty without her hair. As much as we tell her she is the most beautiful little girl and
that you don't need to walk in order to play...she is FOUR and were trying every moment
to help her. Sydney did a really great thing with Payton the other morning. During one
of their games, Payton said she couldn't play because she can't walk. Sydney firmly told
her that you don't need to walk to play. And continued to tell her that she was not
moving until Payton started to play. It worked. Payton began to play the game with a
smile on her face. I am so proud of my girls. They are wonderful children!! I hope they
are understanding the meaning of being a family and sticking together through thick or
thin. We are going to take Payton out this week to look for a wig. We called the cancer
society about a wig, but it will
take up to 10 weeks to special order it in. I don't even know what or where we will be in
10 weeks. So I will look for something and ask my hairdresser to fix it for her. I am
sorry for the delay in our updates. Ever since we brought Payton home on Thursday, we
have been going and going. Friday was awesome. Payton baked with Mimi (a ton of
cookies). We also decorated the tree and house. By Friday night Mimi, daddy and I were
exhausted!!! A good exhausted!!! Well, as we have been doing, we are taking one day at
a time. We have had wonderful days and we are truly grateful for these moments.
Christmas will be cherished more than ever. We are waiting to hear when we can go
back to Disney. I requested either the first or second week in January. I don't want to
wait, she is so happy right now. Duke confirmed what All Children found with the MRI.
Everyone was surprised by the results. We are not going to do anything right now. Dr. G
(DUKE) stated that radiation is still working and if you give her chemo, you wouldn't
know if it is the chemo or radiation. So we are to wait, which is going to be very hard. I
ask and plead to all of you to continue to pray for our little angel. I hope you realize how
much the power of prayer has worked for Payton. We are not out of the woods yet. I
thank God every day for his miracle and hope his healing for Payton continues.
As I have stated last week, we are blessed! The next time we do an MRI will be just as
stressful as last Mondays. I can't even express to all of you what it was like that day. It
was a horrible morning to wait to here what is happening to your child. Savanna has
been told by some of her peers that their parents are tired of hearing about Payton
Wright...my comment to Savanna is Good! That means we are doing our job and getting
the awareness of childhood cancer out
there. It is a shame that we think that doing the minimum is ok...all I know is for me we
are not doing enough to help our kids. We can't stop this fight...not for Payton and not
for the children out there with this disease. Please don't stop fighting. We have
witnessed so much, on Thursday there was a little two year old that passed away two
doors down from Payton. It really hit home that day. Here I was feeling happy to take
my daughter home and having good news...and this family was going home without their
little girl. Thank you for all of your support, it’s always meant so much to us. On a
brighter ending,
do you remember I told you about Tracey Fox who wrote an angel fairy book. Well, she
wants to share that book with everyone. She called me today and told me that THE
LITTLE BOOK WORM store on Main Street will sell her copy of this book. She said it
should be in the store this weekend. I am hoping that she can do a book signing with the
artist Ms. Callie (Payton's previous pre-school teacher from Harvest Methodist church)
after the holiday season. I will keep you all posted on this. Please go and check out this
book...it is wonderful!!! Well, we had a great day today and I hope it will continue. But
as you all know I take each day as it comes. Please have a wonderful day...It's gonna be a
good day!!!

All my love
Holly and Patrick
Monday, December 18, 2006
11:30 PM

Hello Everyone,

Today is Monday. Seven more days until Christmas. We are hoping that we are at home
and not at the hospital. Payton has not been feeling too great the last two days. She came
down with major poops on Saturday and has not stopped since. We were at the clinic
today and her counts started to go down. Her platelets were at 84 (over 80 is ok). So no
platelets today. I hope they go up by Thursday or we are staying the day at the clinic for
platelets! Payton has another UTI, back to the antibiotics. She was doing ok today until
later this afternoon when she started with the vomiting. I gave her medication without a
full stomach. The rest of the night (so far) she has been doing fairly well. I finally had a
melt down today. I was cleaning up her vomit and changing her runny poopy diaper and
just started to cry. I have to admit...I am so jealous of everyone. I want so badly to have
a normal quiet life again. I am so angry at this disease! My little one needs a break.
How we all take for granted good health. This poor little girl only gets one or two "feel
good" days. But again, as I have been stating, she is a trooper. Even with all this, she
still wants to play and be out of the house. We also, had our neuro appointment today.
She had all of her stitches out (head and stomach) all related to her shunts. She did cry
but kept still for the doctor. Everything looks good from the neuro team. She is
scheduled for a CT scan in 3 months to make sure everything is working properly. I wish
we did that with her last one. We got the call from Make a Wish. We are scheduled to
go Jan 5th. All three girls are getting excited.
Payton will have such a great time if she can just stay healthy for a few more weeks.
Well, I hate to make this short, but I have been up the last two nights with Payton
(changing her diaper through out the night so she doesn't get any skin breakdown). That's
all we need is another sore on her bottom. I will sacrifice sleep to make sure she is clean
and dry! Well, if this all seems scattered, I am just so tired. Please continue to pray for
little Payton. We need those prayers so much. I hope to update tomorrow to fill you in
Payton's progress. Oh, I will tell you that Ms. Sam worked with her on Saturday for
therapy. Payton rolled over and stood (with major support) but she stood up. She loved
it and wants to keep coming back. On my last thought, I think the book I told you about
is out and available at Little Bookworms. It is a great book and encourage you all to go
take a look at it. Thank you again Tracey for writing such a beautiful book for Payton.
Ok, now I am done. I can hardly keep my eyes open. Thank goodness Patrick and I are
good a tag teaming. I need some sleep. Well please have a wonderful day tomorrow.
Don't sweat the small stuff and enjoy the moments. It's gonna be a good day! Please
Please pray for Payton...it has made a difference so far.

I love you all
Holly and Patrick
Thursday, December 21st

Hello Everyone,

Well today is Thursday. It has been a bad week. Payton continues to not feel well. She
has had major poops with occasional vomiting all week. Patrick and I take turns every
night staying up with her and/or checking her diaper. We don't want any more skin
breakdown, so we have to keep her as dry and clean as much as we can. We have been at
All Children's everyday this week. We are waiting for some tests to come back to see if
she has an infection or if this is just an intestinal virus. All I know is we are all not happy
campers right now. I feel so sorry for her and the girls. We are so close to Christmas and
it just hasn't been too much fun around our house. I was able to take the older girls to see
High School Musical show in St. Pete. I have to admit it was a pretty good concert. The
girls loved the show. They needed to have a good time. Payton was supposed to
go...however she ended up going with Mimi to the airport to pick up Papa. I think that
was better than going to the concert! Today we were supposed to see Santa in Tampa,
but we are hanging out at the clinic today. We have been here since 8:30 am and will not
be leaving until 5:00pm. She needed platelets and fluids for dehydration (5 hours worth
of fluids!!!!!!!!) Well maybe tomorrow I can get some Christmas shopping done.
Thanks to all that have helped us out during this season. As we have said many times,
we are so blessed to have such wonderful, awesome friends (some I have not even met in
person...just talked through phone/email). Patrick and I had a conversation about if we
are doing the right things for Payton...not just with Payton's health care but having this
website and getting the awareness out there. We have heard some "not so nice"
comments and it really breaks my heart. I hope that I am doing justice to Payton by
keeping this website up and running. I know it is hard sometimes to express our
feelings/beliefs/etc. I guess what I hope and try to get across is Payton is a little girl who
is not just a poster child, case number, a "bad luck" kid with cancer. She is a little 4 year
old, my 4 year old. We also feel that for a few people who "just don't get it" there are
hundred/thousands more who do and you all have been wonderful. Thank you for
standing behind us with your support and prayers. You have no idea how much it all
means to our family. Unfortunately there are a lot of "Payton's" out there and I hope we
help in some way. All I know is she has gotten so far with all of your help in
prayers...Patrick and I will be forever grateful for your help in supporting us/her. Please
continue to say extra prayers for her and we hope you all have a wonderful holiday. I
hope you had a great day...It's gonna be a good day!

We also want to thank so many of you for the beautiful gifts you sent
Payton. They all have a special place in our hearts.

Well,,,,,this is an update from last night. I just was unable to get this on Payton’s
website. Holly wrote the above update and I wanted to add something as well. This
morning so far Payton is doing great! Holly told me not to put it on the site, it might jinx
her….We are taking her to see Santa today! Can’t wait. The Bradenton Herald
newspaper is doing a story tomorrow (Sat) on faith and will include Payton and another
member from Harvest Methodist church who is struggling with a disease.

I would also like to say that we are so sorry for not getting Holiday cards out this year. I
tried to get them out this week, but Payton was at the hospital just about every day and
ran out of time. Just know that we wish everyone a happy Holiday! We have enjoyed
opening all of your cards and can’t believe how some of the kids have grown.


Love
Holly and Patrick



Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Hello Everyone,

Happy Holidays! Well we have so much to be thankful for this holiday season. On
Friday, we went to Tampa to see Santa. We waited over an hour and it was worth it!
Payton actually sat on Santa's lap. As first she was very afraid, but Santa was awesome.
He told her "Santa loves you and I promise I will hold you tight and not let you go". So
off she went onto his lap. He began asking us questions about Payton and here we find
out that he works with Make a Wish and Give the Kids the World Resort. Poor Santa
began to cry and needed a small break to compose himself. He was a great guy! As
many of my friends know, all Payton wanted for Christmas was Moon Sand and a Baby
Alive. However, when Santa asked her what she wanted she said IPOD!!!! As Santa was
crying he said "sweetheart, not only will Santa bring you an IPOD but I will pray for you
everyday". Well, guess what I had to do on Saturday morning (IPOD searching)!!!!
Christmas eve was so much fun. Our family was scheduled to participate in the 5:00
service (reading and lighting candles). It was hard not to cry standing in front of
everyone and looking at my girls. Savanna, Sydney, and I read...Payton and Patrick lit
the candles. All night Payton kept waking me up and asking if I thought Santa came.
She was so excited...I loved it!!!! I also have to tell you this was the first year the girls
woke us up. For 10 years, it has been Patrick and I waiting for the girls to get up. The
girls got us up at 6am! They all had a great time opening up their gifts and Payton just
smiled and played all day. My mom called me this morning and said "wasn't Christmas a
great day...just watching how happy and playful Payton was... made our day." So as I
said earlier, we had a great holiday. One we will cherish!!!! Payton as one point last
night during dinner took my mom's hand and said "Mimi I love having dinner with my
family...this is a great day". What more can any parent ask for. Well we have to go to
the clinic tomorrow. Hopefully it wont be an all day event. She is feeling much better
and I only hope it stays that way (at least a little while). I have come down with a cold so
I am trying very hard to keep it to myself and not spread it (wish me luck). Well, thank
you again for all of your blessings this holiday season. We are so grateful to have you all
in our lives to help us save Payton. I do hope you all had a wonderful holiday. Make
today a great day...It's gonna be a good day!

All our love

Patrick and Holly
Besides the above update….I have also added about 5 pictures. Mostly of Santa at the
International Mall in Tampa. View them by hitting the last modified tab, the pictures
where put on today Dec. 26th. Happy Holidays.
Patrick




Friday, December 29, 2006
6:30 AM

Hello Everyone,

Today is Friday. Last night I was finally able to get onto the computer and read all the
guestbook entries. WOW! You all are so amazing. Thank you for the encouraging
words and support (as usual) for all of us. I had to write to tell you all THANK YOU! I
was glad to hear so many have a wonderful holiday and get the most out of your days.
Payton is working everyday trying to get stronger. We were at the doctors all day on
Wednesday. She needed platelets again. We received so many blood bank cards the last
few weeks and we so appreciate you taking the time out to donate blood/platelets in
Payton's name. I asked the doctors why she is not be able to keep her platelets up...they
said the platelets are produced in the bone marrow. Payton's bone marrow was hit
HARD by radiation. Therefore, it will take a long time for her to recover. I think I stated
in my last update that Payton is having pain in her toes. Well, she continues to
occasionally have pain in her feet. We are hoping the nerves are regenerating. I am
sitting here this morning and watching her eat her waffle, carrots and ranch and a piece of
American cheese. Her drink of choice every morning like her mom is CHI TEA! It is
great to see her eat. Next week we will be going to Disney. We also have a princess
dinner scheduled. I can't wait for the trip this time. Payton's next MRI is February 7th.
So...I went to the doctors yesterday to get medication for this upcoming date. Dec 4th
almost killed me mentally. I need something to help me for February. I think this date
will be worse. Because I know how good the last MRI showed and we couldn't do
anything. Now, this MRI will determine Payton's outcome. I am scared. BUT,,, I do
believe in the power of prayers and miracles. You all have been helping us since Payton
became sick...please continue with your daily prayers. SHE needs them even more. We
continue to be focused and enjoy our children. Thank you again for all your efforts to
save our Payton and support our family. We could not have gotten this far without all of
you. Please know that. As I always say and mean from the bottom of my heart...have a
wonderful day and It's gonna be a good day.
I love you all and thank you!
Patrick and Holly




Thursday, January 04, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is Thursday. We are at All Children's today for platelets. Her other counts are
staying steady...thank heavens. We have all been doing fairly well. On Monday, Payton
started to have blood in her stool. We are having tests done to make sure all is well. So
far everything has come back negative. They feel that when she had the severe intestinal
virus, all the loose stool aggravated her intestines. Payton is getting very excited about
Disney and having dinner with the princesses. All she wants to do is pet the sting rays
and ride the Dumbo ride. I hope this will be our trip to have our great memories. Not
like last time! The girls started school today and I think they were excited to get back to
see their friends. My mom went back to Pittsburgh with my dad yesterday. So we are
solo for a while...she is a very big help to us!!!! Payton continues to have some pain in
her toes. The other day I was painting her toe nails for our New Year's Eve night out.
(The girls love to get dressed up in all their glitter clothes)! Anyway, as I was taking the
old polish off her toes she started laughing and said "stop tickling my toes". I couldn't
believe it. I said "you can feel me?" She said yes and I feel the side of my foot. So for
about 30 minutes the girls and I just sat there tickling her toes! It was great!
We had a wonderful New Year's. Patrick and I felt so blessed to look in the back of our
car when we were driving to our parties and look at the girls all dressed and happy. We
were all together bringing in the New Year. It was a moment we weren't sure we would
have a few months earlier. When we think back of the Friday we were told to bring in
family because it was touch and go at Duke...and here we were smiling and being a
family...it meant so much to us. I pray everyday that 2007 will be our year of great
health. Don't ever take health for granted...it means more than any amount of money,
things, etc...You can't buy health. It is the only thing that matters in this world. I am not
trying to preach to you all, but through all this we have seen adults and children go
through so much pain and sadness. Do all you can to keep yourselves in good health. I
am putting that on my list as well. I have left many doctor appts go because "I don't have
enough time". I am not using that as an excuse anymore. I care so much about all of
you. You all have touched Patrick and I (as well as our family) so deeply, I don't want
any of you to experience any of this. So make those doctor appts, stop smoking, walk
more, eat better and enjoy your life (laughter is needed for health)! As February 7th
approaches, I will again start having more anxiety, so please hang in there with me. I am
very nervous. Payton is not allowed to have anymore radiation. If her cancer
spreads...there is not more anyone can do. I think the hardest part for me is that in
December Payton was in a lot of pain and very sick. Not that having her pass away at
that time would be easy (it would have nearly killed me as well) but I didn't want her to
suffer. I don't want my little baby to go through this horrific pain. I do have a strong
spiritual belief and felt she would be without pain and in a very good place next to god.
However, now that she is so full of life again. I haven't seen her this good since July!
She plays all the time, eats/drinks/poops/laughs/argues with us and her sisters/ect...we are
the family we once were. To go in on February 7th at 9:00am and do another MRI...if it
doesn't come back positive...it will be like I was told she had cancer all over again, but
with the words of I am sorry she has----time left. I am shaking with tears in my eyes as I
even write those words. SO...as I have said previously...I believe so much in miracles
and the power of prayer. I asked god the morning of December 4th to give me the sign
that you want her to tay...that you need her to stay. I felt that hearing the great news of
the cancer shrinking was my sign of him needing her here. We are not out of the woods
at all. Please keep those prayers coming. I know that the power of prayer is working for
our Payton. I thank god everyday for his healing of her. Even though Payton is doing
ok, please keep up the prayers.

Also, Jan 21st (I think) is a book signing of Tracey Fox - angel book at Little Bookworms
book store. I was just in there the other day and I left the info in my car. (I am at the
hospital room so I can't get it). Anyway I will let you all know the times and I hope to
have Payton there for her to meet/see you all. I promise to keep you posted on our trip.
From our family to yours...Happy 2007! Make it a great year and remember It's gonna be
a good day!

Love
Holly and Patrick


Thursday, January 11, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is Thursday! Sorry it has been a while since I last wrote an update. Yes we went
to Disney and Yes it was amazing!!!! We just got in late last night and I spent most of
today just organizing and helping the kids finish up the last of their homework. For their
teachers reading this, yes the girls did a page of homework every day! I was going to
write an update earlier in the week, but because I am now a nervous psycho woman, I
didn't want to curse our trip. This
was a great vacation for all of us. Payton had so much fun and was without pain in her
head, stomach, back, belly, etc...We haven't seen her be so happy and talkative for such a
long time. This update might be long. I will try to capture the highlights of our trip.
Friday, we went to downtown Disney to take the girls to Rainforest Cafe. The last time
we were their, was a few days before we found out she had cancer. So we wanted to go
back for better memories. After that we spent the evening at Give the Kids the World
resort. They have a movie theater (which we went twice) with all the popcorn, soda and
candy you want. The girls were at the snack counter more than in their seats. A merry
go round which Payton rode at least 12 times! The famous ice cream store with
unlimited free ice cream --it opens at 7am!!!!! The mushroom house with toys, etc inside.
There was so much to do for the kids. There were a few times Patrick and I looked at
each other and couldn't believe the difference this trip was compared to last time we
attempted Disney. Payton enjoyed everything the resort had to offer. She even played
putt putt golf, rode the train, and took a wagon/horse ride. All these things may sound
average, but to us...seeing Payton actually doing things and participating was HUGE! On
Saturday, we went to Epcot. As we walked into the park we found a multicolored stone
angel bracelet on the ground. Pretty strange. There were other little surprises we found
along our trip...which were...strange as well. Payton went on the (we call it the Epcot
ball ride) I forget what the real name is, but the entire time she was talking about Jesus
and God. We promised Payton that when she is better we will take her on a trip. Payton
stated she wants to go to England to have tea. If all of you don't know, Payton and I are
BIG TEA drinkers (Chi only for Payton). Then she wants to go to Italy for pasta. What
better place to grant her wishes than EPCOT! We did it all! To top off the night we had
a princess dinner in Norway. Payton was called the top princess of the night! You will
see pictures of lipstick kisses all over her face. She told each princess where she wanted
them to kiss her. She loved it! Sunday we went to Sea World. Payton didn't pet the
stingrays, but did put her hand in the water. She got to feed and
pet the dolphins. I think each of my girls loved feeding the dolphins the best (especially
Savanna..dolphins are her favorite). This too was a better visit at Sea World (we almost
sent for an ambulance the last time we were their). Monday was Sydney's birthday. We
went to Animal Kingdom (Sydney loves elephants). Payton rode on some rides and had a
great time. The bugs life show scared the @#$$ out of her! She kept telling us why we
would take her to that kind of show! That night we went to Midevel Times for dinner.
The kids loved that you don't use utensils (except for Payton...they needed to bring her a
fork)! We cheered for our knight, but he was killed in the second round. Payton was
very upset and we had to tell her it was pretend...just a show. I
don't think she believed us. Tuesday we went to Magic Kingdom. Payton and the girls
loved it. We went on a lot of rides. We even got her to ride Pirates of the Caribbean. If
many of you don't know, I love Jonny Depp in that movie...I love him ALOT! Payton is
a daddy's girl and is VERY protective of her father. Needless to say, she did not find the
ride fun and was yelling at me the whole time for me to tell Patrick that I love only him
and not "Jack Sparrow". The best part was when we left the ride to go right outside to a
REAL life Jack Sparrow acting out for the crowd. Oh, Payton was not happy. Many
tears and yelling occurred (Payton at me). Patrick could do not wrong in her eyes at that
moment. Patrick tried to get me to go up and get someone to bring the actor over to
Payton...I think it would have given her a stroke! If she only knew how her daddy is a
troublemaker! Wednesday we went to Universal/Island of Adventure. It was not a park
for Payton, but as long as we fed her chicken/fries and candy, the girl had a great time.
She got to see her Curious George and take a picture of him. The older girls are
definitely getting older. They tried new rides this year and had a really great time. I am
so proud of them. We all had so much fun I can not explain it to you. I think we have
been so stressed and worried for so long, it was nice to just play. I have to go take
Sydney to gymnastics now, so I will have Patrick finish. Please keep the prayers coming.
February 7th will be here way too soon for me. Please help me help my daughter...keep
the prayers coming. I can not thank you all enough for that. All my love to each of you.
Out the door she goes…..I must say we had a great time and as Payton’s dad it was great
seeing her laugh again. For so many months we could not get a smile or laugh out of her.
We continue to thank so many of you for your cards, gifts and prayers. It means so much
to us.
It's gonna be a good day!

Love to all,
Patrick and Holly




Sunday, January 14, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is Sunday. I think we have finally calmed down since Disney.
Payton and the girls still are excited to tell everyone they meet about their trip. I know I
always say this but I want you all to know how thankful I am for all that you do for us.
These last few weeks have meant so much to Patrick and me. Just to see our household be
"somewhat normal"...kids playing/fighting like siblings, doing overdue housework, and
just having a slightly decrease in stress. For example, Payton now goes upstairs to play
with Savanna and Sydney. Today she and the girls spent all morning playing with their
American Girl dolls. She sat on the floor (with support of pillows) and played. Yesterday
Patrick put the heater on the pool. Well we were busy all day and didn't get a chance to
get in the pool. When Patrick talked about the pool later that night, Payton got all excited
and said "I want to go in and swim"! Well, enough said. Savanna, Sydney and I took our
clothes off and jumped in our underwear. (I didn't want Payton to think too much about
what she just said). Patrick hurried and put a swimmer diaper and a swimmer vest on her
and in she went. She LOVED IT!!!! We couldn't believe it. She hasn't been in water
(not even a bath...we sponge bathe her) in months! She first tried to swim without me,
but she doesn't have good trunk control yet. Therefore, she would fall forward. I didn't
want her to get scared so I made her hold on to me. She stayed in the water for almost an
hour...enough to make her hands look like raisins. We did take pictures, Patrick will put
them up soon. Unfortunately, Payton has not had any more pain in her feet/legs. I know
that sounds horrible for me to say, but I would love to know her nerves are regenerating.
This week Payton will have her regular doctor appointments and therapy. We are going
to get her an electric wheelchair. I can't remember if I wrote in the last update about her
seeing a little 5 year old (at Give the Kids the World) in an electric wheelchair and really
wanted one. She said she doesn't want anyone to push her anymore. I think it will be so
good for her to be more independent. Patrick and I are looking into pediatric spinal cord
rehab clinics. But we want to wait until after Feb 7th. Every time I say or write that date
my hands hurt and I feel sick. I am so scared of that day. I just don't want these last few
weeks we had to end. However, I am going to stay positive, brave and HOPEFUL!!!!
Because as we all know that is all we have control over. I do hope you all are having a
great 2007 so far.

I did want to let you know that the book signing of Tracey Fox's book "Seven Little
Angel Fairies" will occur on January 20th (Saturday) from 11-1pm. There will be a fairy
face painter there as well. As I always hope and pray, that Payton will feel well enough
to attend and meet you. Again, I am not sure if I said this earlier (my brain has been a bit
out of touch)...Tracey has always wanted to write a book. It wasn't until Payton became
ill that she came up with her idea and had the courage and push to write her first book. I
am so appreciative that she wants to donate the proceeds to Payton, but I am really
wanting everyone to support Tracey. I hope this gives her the confidence to write more
books. She and Callie (the illustrator) are so talented and I will forever be touched by
their book. So I hope Tracey and Callie have a wonderful turn out at Little Bookworms
on Main Street this coming Saturday. Tracey has been so awesome in her role with
support to Payton. Thank you Tracey and Callie! I also have a request for Randy and
Katie Mellor...could you sent me your email or address. I don't have it and would like to
get in touch with you. Also, I would like to thank Cherie Melton for her purchasing and
giving the Elmo doll to Payton. Again, I can not thank all of you enough for the time you
spend thinking about us and helping us through this difficult time. Please know how
grateful we are...I really want you all to know that. Please have a great week and It's
gonna be a good day!!!

All my love to you,

Holly and Patrick




Thursday, January 18, 2007

Hello Everyone,

It is late Wednesday night. Well, Payton has been a busy little girl this week. We were
at the clinic on Tuesday for blood counts and she did not need platelets! The platelet
count is going down but at a slower rate. We go back tomorrow to the clinic and I will be
surprised if she doesn't need platelets. If she doesn't need them tomorrow...that will be
two weeks she didn't need blood products. Payton does have another UTI. She is on a
major antibiotic for the next two weeks. They couldn't make it into a pill, so she has to
take her medicine in liquid form. She is NOT HAPPY! She has been going to Children's
Therapy Assoc. for her therapies (OT and PT). Payton is getting stronger everyday. For
example, she sat up for 2 hours playing with her Bratz dolls without assist. She then
came down stairs and finished her cake she and Mimi baked for Sydney. (Payton called
my mom while we were at Disney and asked if she and my mom could bake Sydney a
birthday cake...it had to be a princess one...she wanted it to be a surprise...it was her gift
to Sydney). Well they pulled it off...Sydney was surprised and the look on Payton's face
was priceless...she was proud. My mother on the other hand looked very worn out! My
mother bought a very detailed Cinderella cake-making kit. She loved baking with
Payton, but said this was her first and last cake decorating. Well, until Payton or the girls
ask her again! Mimi can't ever say no to her grand kids. After the cake activity, Payton
went to therapy. She worked so hard today. When we came home she again played
upstairs with her sisters until dinner. I will say by 7:30, Payton was done. She cried all
the way to bed on how tired she was. I don't blame her...her little body is working areas
she hasn't used in so long. We are all so proud of her. We are ordering her a power
wheelchair and hope to get it within the next two weeks. I got the girls report cards today
and they did awesome. Savanna got all A's and one B (social studies). Sydney got a
perfect report card as well (they don't use the A,B,C,D, F system... only S and NS until
3rd grade). So I feel pretty good the girls are hanging in there through all of this. I am
lucky! Well, I hope Payton will feel well for Saturday for the book signing. Thank you to
so many who are showing support to Tracey and Callie. They worked so hard on their
book. It's nice to see some positive things. And as I usually ask, please pray for Payton.
That is ALL we need. I am hoping for prayers for this coming February. Thank you for
helping us. Please have a wonderful day tomorrow...Payton said today as we were
getting out of the car to go to therapy..."mom isn't it just a beautiful day, the sun is out
and we are together". Her point is...enjoy every MOMENT...she is. I see everyday
through her and it is awesome! It's gonna be a good day.

I love you all
Holly and Patrick




Sunday, January 22, 2007

Hello Everyone,

It is Sunday evening and we are exhausted. First, I would like to thank everyone who
came out to support Tracey and Callie. I was so happy for them. They sold out their
books and have a long list for orders. If anyone wants a book I have been given
permission by Tracey to give out her email. If you are from out of town, she said an
extra dollar would cover the shipping cost (her email address is
tracyfox222@hotmail.com). I also want to thank the owners of Little Bookworms for
allowing Tracey and Callie to have a book signing and selling their book. They are a
wonderful independent bookstore and it is so nice to see everyone coming out to support
not only Payton, Tracey and Callie but their
business as well. They are wonderful ladies. I will tell Patrick he needs to get the
pictures on the website. Payton showed up for over an hour and YES she signed some
books. At one point she said to my mom, "they are giving me so much work to do" and
then she clicked her pen and said "I am done signing...Lets go". It was great for ALL of
us to attend. To go back a few days, on Thursday Payton did not need platelets again.
Her count was 52 on Tuesday and 78 on Thursday. We are assuming radiation is not
working anymore and her body is healing. I have mixed feelings about all this. I want
the radiation still in her body to make sure it continues to shrink the tumors. On the other
hand, now that she is healing if Duke has to do anymore treatments they are able. Dr. G
said no matter what, he would not be able to provide anymore treatments until she begins
to show stability (keeping her platelets up on her own). So I guess that is a good sign.
But I am more worried than ever. Well I don't mean to make this short but I have a good
migraine coming on. Please help me with your prayers for Payton. I also hope you all
make tomorrow a great day. It's gonna be a good day.

All my love
Holly



Thursday, January 25, 2007

It’s noon on Thursday. Just downloaded some new pictures. Most of them are from the
Make A Wish/Give Kid’s the World trip to Disney. See the news one by hitting the last
modified tab and get to the ones added today Thursday the 25th.
Holly just got back from the hospital this morning with Payton. Her platelets are up even
more now and the ultrasound from this past Monday showed her organs to be pretty
normal. So great news and anxiously awaiting the Feb 7th MRI.
I am going to add an article to the site that was in the paper about Payton and the book
that Tracy Fox wrote. It was pretty neat.

Have a great day,
Patrick and Holly

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is Thursday. Well, today we went to the clinic for our usual blood check.
Payton's platelets are at 84! It's funny; I was talking a few weeks ago to our dentist for
the girls (Dr. Santos office) about scheduling an appointment for Payton. I was asked if
there is anything they can do. I said well besides everyone’s prayers, we are in need of
donations of blood and platelets. They said "oh we didn't think she needed them
anymore"...I said, "oh, yes she still is getting platelets". Well from that day on, Payton
has not needed any more blood products! It has been awesome to not have to access her
port every week! However, we are going through a very calm moment right now. And
as I have said before we are not out of the woods by any means. So, please continue to
donate blood and platelets. I am so ever grateful for your wonderful generosity when I
receive the cards of blood donation in honor of Payton. On Monday, Payton had an
ultrasound done because they wanted to check to make sure everything was ok with her
kidneys and bladder. Well, today we were told so far so good! We still need to perform
a dye test that will show if any urine is leaking back into the kidneys. But it was nice to
know her kidneys looked good. I was a bit nervous.
This week Payton had a play date with her friend Deklyn at Deklyn's house. It was the
first time I watched my little girl play and act like a regular 4 year old. She played on the
floor and watched a movie in Deklyn's daddy's chair. While Payton sat in the chair,
Deklyn put Payton's wheelchair next to Payton and sat in Payton's wheelchair. It was
priceless to watch. The two of them are tea drinkers, so they had cookies and hot tea for
their snack. Trina (Deklyn's mom) and I think they both need to live in England. Payton
and Deklyn also talked and planned out each other’s birthday parties. Payton said she
wants her birthday party to be a tea party. She wants all her little friends to bring their
American Girl dolls over for tea. No matter what February 7th shows, Payton is having
her tea party (even if I have to have her birthday early)!
In therapy (OT and PT) Payton is getting stronger everyday. She is sitting longer without
fatigue and assist, crawling and just showing improved endurance. We were told that
maybe next Thursday we would get her power wheelchair. She is very excited. Payton's
hair is slowly coming in. It's hard to tell because she ALWAYS is wearing this red hat
(even to bed). She NEVER takes it off. Well, it is hard to believe that in almost two
weeks we will be getting her MRI. I can tell it is coming up because I am becoming very
short tempered and unable to focus on anything. My mom and I have many discussions
about this MRI and we both feel how this one will be worse in the sense of us waiting for
the results. I remember writing how I missed my Payton. Well, I feel I do have my
Payton back and I don't want to hear that I will lose her. I am keeping my faith and work
hard every day to keep positive and HOPEFUL. I was talking to the older girls the other
day and wanted them to know that Patrick and I love them so much...that we know so
much revolves around Payton but no matter what we love them just as much as we love
Payton and to never forget that. I also went on to say that I hope they are keeping up
with their prayers for her and our family. I referred to Horton Hears a Who by Dr. Seuss.
I said remember when no one believed Horton when he said that the speck of dust had
living creatures living in it...the girls nodded their head...then I said remember when the
town mayor ran around to make sure everyone was yelling in order to save the
town...they said yes...I said we need everyone to pray...it could take just one more person
to add a prayer to help us and Payton. Even if it is to give us the strength to deal with the
news on February. That is all we need. There is a lot happening in February with not
only Payton but with other people we have come to know through this horrible xperience
such as Anthony. Please continue your prayers for Payton and Anthony. We need them
so much. We cannot thank you enough for all you do for our family. Please have a great
day and a nice weekend. I hope to update on Sunday. We are having family come in for
the weekend. Thank you again for your support. Each day has been a true blessing and
we have had some great days. Patrick added new pictures as well today. See the above
note for directions

It's gonna be a good day!

Holly and Patrick
UPDATE
You can know purchase the Seven Little Angel Fairies book online. There is a link to it
on the main page of Payton’s website. Thanks again to Tracy and Callie for putting this
together and the Little Bookworms independent store for supporting them. Please check
out their website they do some much for the community. www.littlebookworms.net


On another note Holly took Payton to Dr Santos (dentist) awesome group here in
Lakewood Ranch. They made her visit special for Payton. She has no cavities, her gums
look great and her enamel looks great as well. This surprised them because most kids
who have gone through chemo and radiation have dental issues. We took this as another
blessing.

Hope all is well.
Love
Patrick and Holly




Hello Everyone, Today is Sunday the 4th of Feb. Well, Payton got her power wheelchair
on Thursday. At first she cried and didn't want anything to do with the chair. However,
after a few minutes she took a liking to it and did awesome. She actually is a good
driver. She hasn't bumped into any walls yet! I am sure she will now that I said that.
However, she still likes us to take her other wheelchair when we go out. I think she
needs to feel more confident with it. We had a pretty good weekend. On Friday, I took
Sydney out of school to get her ears pierced (she was very sick for all the school
officials). I normally would not let my kids skip school, but she needed mom and Sydney
time. It was really nice. We spent the day doing girl things. Sydney was with her best
friend Madison and they both got their ears pierced. Savanna got to have a friend
(Dakota) sleep over for the weekend. So everyone was happy. I just wanted to have a
kid’s weekend. Payton played with the girls and had a really good time (especially
making food/treats for her American Girl doll). Payton is definitely our baker.
I am not doing so well which was expected. I have had constant headaches and my
nerves are getting the best of me. However, after talking with my friend Nicole, I can
and will not give up on hope and faith. Payton has come so far that miracles do happen.
As I have said before, I am waiting for the day of writing those powerful words...cure,
miracle, healing. Please continue to pray for our dear Payton. I am getting called for as I
write this from the girls. It is getting harder to have a few minutes for me. Oh well!
Please have a wonderful day and I will write as soon as I can. Please, please, please pray
for Payton.
 It’s gonna be a good day,
Love you all Holly and Patrick
Update.
If you have recently sent a quest book entry and it was not posted please resend it if you
can. Our office in Pittsburgh just installed a new server and some may have been lost.
Thanks Patrick


Thursday, February 08, 2007
6:30 AM

Hello Everyone,
Today is Thursday. Well yesterday...will be chalked up to one of the worst day of our
lives. Payton's cancer has spread. We were told that we already had our miracle a few
months ago by her making it past October. Well, to me that is not good enough. I was
right...this one was very hard to take. We are watching Payton talk, play, and enjoy life
and in one moment told sorry, there may not be much further we can do. Duke is
reviewing her scans and will let us know what they want to do next. If anything, it would
be a low dose of oral chemo. I am not being strong at all. I cannot stop crying and slept a
few hours last night (if I was lucky). I just don't want to watch my child...go through
pain...I had such big hopes of her being cancer free and us being on our way to Miami for
spinal treatment. I am in grieving mode right now. Payton wanted to know why I was
crying so much and I lied and told her that her tests came back and she is getting better. I
don't want her to stop trying to get stronger and I want her time with us to be happy.
Savanna and Sydney are pretty much a mess. So the next few days will be pulling my
family in tighter and helping them be strong. I have to say I was pretty shocked at the
results. Payton appears to be doing so well physically and mentally. I really felt we had
our miracle. I want to thank you all for being such a support to us. We will really need it
know more than ever. I hate to make this update short, but I have a hard time seeing
through my tears. Please continue to pray...at this point it is all we have left to hold on to.
Harvest Methodist Church will be having a blood drive in Payton's Honor on March 18th
from 8:30 to 12:30. It would help us a great deal for the support. Thank you ever so
much.
All my love,
Holly and Patrick


Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Hello everyone. I will be doing the update today for Holly she just isn’t ready to get
back on here. Holly and I wanted to thank Cold Stone Ice Cream for their support this
past Saturday. Henry and Michelle, we are so very thankful to you both and your team
that worked so hard. You made it fun for all the kids as well as Payton. She really had a
good time. Thank you so much! Thanks to Florida Blood Services as well for having a
bus at the event.
We also want to thank every one who has called, sent letters or wrote in Payton’s
guestbook for their words of encouragement and support. It again truly means a lot.
We are getting by a day at a time and right now Payton is doing so well and being her
typical Payton self. We will be trying to get away for some family time very soon. We
want Payton to have as much fun as she can handle right now. I am still waiting to hear
from Duke to decide what we can do next if anything. These will be some very hard
decisions we have to make in the next few days. I really do not want to do any further
treatment just for treatment sake without some answers to what the side effects will be
and how she will tolerate it. We are not looking to make her sick and have to spend this
time we have in the hospital. We are struggling with these decisions and are always
asking ourselves are we making the right choices. No one should have to go through this.

Have a great day,
Love to all,
Patrick and Holly




Monday, February 19, 2007

Monday and I am sorry I have not been keeping up with the updates, but I needed some
time to get myself back on track. We received confirmation on Friday with Dr. G at
Duke regarding Payton’s MRI. He believes thee is a small abnormality on her occipital
nerve and that the tumor in her pelvis grew. He said to wait another 6 – 8 weeks and get
another MRI. Her counts although good just aren’t up high enough to give her any
chemo anyway. So he hopes that in the next month in a half or so they might come up a
lot more. He basically needs her platelets to come up on their own. We went to
Wannado City in Ft Lauderdale on Friday and the kids had a blast. We are just trying to
have as much fun with them as we can. We figured the girls have gone through a lot and
we want to give the girls some major fun time.
We are trying some alternative methods for Payton as well. We are going to meet several
docs to see what they would recommend for Payton. We are looking to boost her
immune system. Patrick and I have been doing so much research into this with help from
our dear friends Lisa N and Lisa S. I am not giving up on our daughter. I want to thank
all you for being so supportive especially the last few weeks. I need to go, but please
know that we are not giving up the fight and we hope all of you are with us. Keep up the
prayers, God is listening and is helping her. I know the news was not what we expected,
but we have always made better turns when bad news is given. Please fight with us and
keep those prayers coming. It means a great deal to us that you all are standing strong
behind us…I need your strength more that ever. It will be a good day….
All my love,

Holly and Patrick
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Hello Everyone,

Today is Wednesday. Payton went to school today. She was so excited to see her
friends. Last week we took her to school for her Valentines party. Well, she has been
asking me every since to go back to school. Last Friday and Monday our schools were
closed, so today was her day to go to school. She woke up early this morning and said
"daddy is today the day I get to go to school"? She sat on the couch with her red purse
(which she takes EVERYWHERE) and put her play makeup on and we had to paint her
nails. On the way to school she said "I think all the kids are going to say Payton we
missed you...we are so glad you are back"! Sure enough that’s about what happened.
She played in the sand box, went to Spanish class, centers, and had snacks (that was her
highlight was snack time). She loved her day, it was a great day! Patrick and I were
talking about what a strong child Payton is...she went to school and went to her class like
she had been there the entire year. I had a harder time with her going to school than she
did. She told me I was to stay in the library and wait until school was over for me to
come get her. The older girls started piano today and are doing pretty well. Patrick and I
are going around this week and looking into alternative doctors to boost her immune
system. We will let you know what we come across. Patrick and I got remarried last
Sunday at our church. Our church was having a special service for those couples that
wanted to renew their wedding vows. We really needed to do this...we had a rough year
and maybe an even tougher road ahead. We needed to strengthen our bond to get through
this year. So, yes Patrick and I are doing pretty good. This weekend, Heather (the
woman who did our slide show) will be doing another photo shoot for us. We will let
you know how that goes as well. Well I am very tired. We don't sleep much as you
know and if I can get a few hours in tonight that would be great. Thank you for your
uplifting messages on Payton's guestbook entries. I will and have been taking each day
and moment and try to breathe. I do enjoy the girls and soak in every small and large
moment with them.
It's funny how a situation can make you look at things differently.
All for the good...too bad it takes a horrible disease to do that. So please soak in and
enjoy your moments. I will let you all know what we find out this week. Please take
care and have a wonderful day...it's gonna be a good day!

All my love
Holly and Patrick

February 25, 2007
Hello Everyone,
Today is Sunday. Things have been busy around here. We found an alternative person to
help us get Payton stronger. Saturday was rough trying to get her to take her vitamins.
However, we are dealing with Payton and today she did GREAT! Yesterday we took
pictures again with Heather from Catch a Star Photography. Payton was not in the mood
for pictures, so I really hope we got some nice shots. Payton is now on an organic, gluten
and sugar free diet. I have never been more stressed out! I spent a few hours looking
over labels at Whole Foods grocery store today. It is not easy to eat healthy! But all I
can do is the best I can. Savanna and Sydney are working pretty well with our new way
of eating. No more candy in this house. Tomorrow Payton will try to go to school again.
She has loved going to spend time with her friends. Just now she was making a card in
which she wrote "I love you...love Payton". She taped the edges and said it was for a
friend at school. Patrick made sure it was NOT for a BOY! She seems to have a few
boyfriends lately. Savanna and Sydney are also doing well. I am so proud of them. We
have been very fortunate to be busy with activities (piano, tennis, gymnastics, etc).
Payton has her next MRI on March 28th at 9:00. I don't think I will ever get used to
those @#$$% MRI days! However, I am and will keep as positive and hopeful as I can.
So I pray it will be a great MRI day instead of a @#$$% day! Can you tell I am at the
end of my rope with this disease. Well, I have to go cath Payton. Have a wonderful
day! It's gonna be a good day!

All my love

Holly



Hello Everyone,


Today is Saturday. This week went fairly ok with Payton on her new diet and
mineral/vitamins protocol. She takes 25 pills right when she wakes up. As we have said
since the beginning of this...Payton is amazing. Payton went to school this week and had
a great time. She even got invited to a birthday party from twin little girls. It is a
princess party and she has to dress up as one. She wants to be Cinderella. As I stated,
Payton is dealing with her new diet. On Wednesday, her class was celebrating a birthday
and was giving out cupcakes. I felt horrible to make her eat her gluten free, no sugar
cookies but before I said anything Payton sat at the table and told her friends..."I can't eat
that bad stuff...I have to eat stuff that’s good for me"...I couldn't believe it. What also
helped was there was another little girl who is on a similar diet as Payton. She also
brought a different snack. Payton was so excited that someone else was just like her.
When we got home she said she wanted to write her new friend a letter and tell her how
much she loves her. I really think Payton is helping me out lately. We also have been
able to go to the park. She loves to play in the sand and swing on the swings. I usually
take her down the slide (so I am getting quite a work out). Payton's next MRI is March
28th. Her CT scan is March 21st. I hope I mentally make it to the 28th. It has been so
awesome to hear everyone continuing to pray for Payton. We are not giving up our hope
and faith...and to hear all of you still staying strong with us is very comforting. Have a
great day...thank you again for all your support. It means a great deal to our family.

It's gonna be a good day,

Love
Holly and Patrick




Saturday, March 10, 2007




Hello Everyone,

Today is Saturday. I am so sorry for the delay again for this update. We
have been extremely busy. Payton is doing great at taking her MANY MANY
vitamins. We are all doing much better adapting to our no Gluten and sugar
free lifestyle. I have changed at least 85% of her/our diet. She now goes in for 3 hour
"therapy" treatments 3 times a week. She was unable to make it to school this week due
to our schedule of drs/treatments. On Thursday, Payton went to All Children’s for her
blood work and to her once a month medication through her port to prevent pneumonia.
Her white count last week was 3.2 her platelet count was 87...this week her white count
was 6.1 and her platelets...130!!!!! Her immune system is getting stronger. They had to
run her blood twice to make sure it was correct...we couldn't believe the results. The Dr.
told us we didn't need to come back next week for blood check. So we don't have to go
back until March 21st. YEH!!!! In PT/OT Payton is getting physically stronger as well.
Ms. Margaret and Ms. Sue are working very hard with her. She is rolling on her own in
bed, which helps us not have to wake up as often to reposition her. Her CT scan is still
scheduled for March 21st and her MRI is March 28th. I already told my mom that I
should just admit myself to Bayfront Hospital (it is next to All Children's) on March 28th.
I question how much my mind can take. Each MRI I seem to get worse. Please keep all
your prayers towards Payton, but if you can say an extra one for us and the girls (my
mind would appreciate it). I have had some people offer ideas/suggestions for our new
diet. If anyone knows of good cookbooks or online sites to help me offer different things
to Payton, I would appreciate it. I will try very hard to keep the updates occur more
frequently. Thank you for your prayers. Oh, I wanted to let everyone know that our
church, Harvest Methodist, is having a blood drive in Payton's honor on March 18th from
8:30 ro 12:30. Thank you all so much, in advance, for your support. As I hope I have
gotten across over the last 11 months, blood products are needed not just for Payton but
for so many people. I love getting my mail and seeing cards of "I gave blood today".
Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving your time and blood!
That sounded odd! I wish you all a wonderful weekend and have a great
day...It's gonna be a good day!

I love you all
Holly and Patrick


Sunday, March 11, 2007

Everyone Heather did it again! She is an awesome photographer and was able to get
some beautiful pictures of Payton and the whole family …..even though Payton was
having a grumpy day!
Heather, thank you so much for your time and talent. We truly appreciate what you do.

You can see the new pictures by going to Payton’s site and clicking on the CatchaStar
link. Once there the password is…sample1 then uncheck the box and hit submit. Enjoy.
Love
Patrick and Holly


Tuesday, March 13, 2007

I added some new pictures my mom took of Payton on her site today. To view hit the last
modified button until the most recent date is at the top. She looks pretty good!
Love
Patrick


Thursday, March 15, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is Thursday. This week has been nonstop as usual. Payton is hanging in there
with all of her treatments and therapies. Patrick and I were looking at Payton's pictures
the other day (past and present) and I really don't know how we got through Duke (let
alone the other months of chemo and illnesses). She was so sick...it breaks my heart
thinking about those months and months of chemo and radiation she had to endure. I
have to admit, I have a very hard time looking at her pictures of last year. Every day I
have to talk myself out of feeling so guilty for putting her through that. You all have no
idea what is feels like to sign the OK to administer treatments that about killed her. I
know we had no choice, but I can't help thinking about that daily. Patrick and I continue
to try to take each moment as it comes and enjoy. We have so much stress (of all kinds)
that it takes so much effort to act and stay calm. We don't sleep much due to either
helping Payton turn throughout the night or just waking in the middle of the night with
our minds still going and going. Many, many days we feel we are on autopilot. I think
my anxiety is building, it usually does a week before any testing is to occur (next
Wednesday is the CT scan). So I don't think I will be doing very well for 2 more weeks
(March 28th is MRI).
 Patrick and I discussed that we will take two cars on those days, so when Payton is done
with testing I will take her home. It about kills me to hang around and wait for results.
This is why my husband is so terrific. We have a good team going. I take care of
Payton and the kids, Patrick takes care of dealing with doctors. I definitely have the
white coat syndrome (I have so much anxiety around ANY doctor). As usual, I beg for
your continued prayers for the next few weeks. I am keeping my hope and faith strong
and there will be a day of GREAT news. Thanks for hanging in there with us, we
appreciate all of your support. Please have a wonderful day...It's gonna be a good day!

Payton moment: Today the girls were dressed in their green shamrock shirts with their
painted green nails. Payton said she wanted to also paint her nails green for Father's day.
I said "honey it's not Father's Day it’s...and before I could finish she said "I know it's
Patrick's day...daddy’s' day".
So of course Patrick thinks she had a great idea and it should be HIS day.

Love you all
Holly and Patrick


Sunday, March 18, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is Saturday. I was reading the updates to the girls and Savanna said she wanted to
write an update. So here is my Savanna...I just wanted to say Hi and thank everyone for
their donations for Payton! I wish I could hug you all and thank you in person, but that
would be more than 50,000 people to thank, and visit. So the only way to thank you is by
the updates. I really learned a lot from this whole thing going on like being brave and
going with the flow and whatever comes our way, just deal with it and try to defeat it, or
facing it. Maybe you all ready know but my sister has to take at least 60 pills a day, and
when she takes them you don't even know she took them because she takes them so fast.
You know before this happened I went on thinking that a cut and a splinter are really big
deals but they’re not now, because for me and my sister Sydney to see what she goes
through every day, and to look back and see how happy and healthy we were, and to
think we were going to be having a perfect life when we get older well now I realized that
no-one has a perfect life and bad things can happen to good people in the world like
Payton. And at the age 10 to know what Chemo therapy is and radiation is, is really
strange but I believe that my family and I will get through this as a family and deal with
everything that will happen to us. Well I guess you want to know how Payton is doing,
well she is really good .And she's been scaring me and my mom because one day we
were at the park and my mom and I were pushing Payton on the swing and a minute later
she said she had a major headack and wanted to go home immediately so when we
arrived home she was laughing and smiling and we were getting ice- packs for her head
and when we heard her we said `Do you really have a headack or were you disy from
swinging or were you really sick?"`I was really disy"
Payton said, we were so scared all for nothing. WOW! If I really think about it we've had
some pretty good times like the Payton walk, and actually we have spent more time
together then we did befor.Well I have to go to see a movie [Bridge to Terabithya] well I
hope you all are well and every night I pray to God and tell him that you all are very
helpful by praying for my family and me. Well thank you and I hope to read your
responses. Love Savanna wright!
                   P.S. I hope you all keep praying.
ByE!




Friday, March 23, 2007

Hello Everyone,
Today is Thursday. Yesterday Payton had her CT scan. It went well. The doctor
compared scans (this one to the one in December). Oh what a difference. The one in
December...you couldn't see much of her brain...all you saw was a big X. This scan
showed her brain with small dark areas which are her ventricles. Her counts went down a
bit 4.3 for white count and 94 for platelets. That should be expected since she received
her monthly medication two weeks ago...I was told it depletes platelets. I am sorry it has
taken me a while to do this update, but I have been going non- stop. This morning
Payton didn't feel good. She complained of a headache and was sick to her stomach.
However, after she rested for a while she sat up and was laughing and playing just as
quickly as when her headache came on. I think she likes to torture me. Payton went to
her therapy today and did a little showing off for Mimi. My mom finally came down
from her trip to Pittsburgh (to see my dad) on Monday and we are getting back into the
swing of things. She thinks she is not needed at times, but I quickly remind her that
things are going smoothly because we have gotten a system going... and it is going well.
My mom needs a huge vacation after this...she has been incredible! The girls received
their report cards this week, and as a very proud parent I am bragging that they both got
straight A's. I feel so lucky to have such great girls! I received some really good advice
today. I was told to not focus on Payton's cancer and to focus on living. I think a lot of
people were trying to tell me that same statement, but for some reason it really sunk in
today. Many people have told me that Payton is a "crystal" child or a "rainbow" child...a
teaching child. Even before this happened to my daughter, Patrick and I have felt Payton
is an old soul. Again, for some reason I feel so honored to be blessed with such a
spiritual soul. My friend Lisa was talking to me today and said I sounded so calm and at
peace. I must say it is taking a lot of effort to give my fear away. I am not putting so
much dread into this next MRI or disease for that matter. The MRI does not mean
anything to me anymore. We are no longer going to do chemo or radiation. So what is
the point of an MRI? I don't want to know what is tells me because it will make no
difference in what we are doing for Payton. We are going to continue with her
alternative treatments and enjoy our moments. Hopefully our moments will last our
lifetime. If you think about it, do I really want to hear "oh, it has spread even more and
she has ....to live‖. I would be on a countdown every week. That is not living. So I
will take Payton up on Wednesday the 28th for her MRI (because Patrick wants one
done) and leave when it is over to take her home. My mom and Patrick will stay to hear
the results. I do not want to know...to me it is not important anymore. So, I will assume
Patrick will write the update for the outcome on Wednesday. Whatever the results,
please don't share them with me. My main goal is to remain focused, strong, positive,
full of hope and FAITH. That is what will get us through this. This still does not mean
that we don't need the continued prayers. We need them more than ever. I also wanted
to let you all know that what you do for us is always appreciated. As was seen in
Savanna's update. She wanted to write an update...I was trying to put Payton in for a nap.
Payton and I fell asleep. When I woke up, Savanna was still typing (one finger at a
time...bless her). When I read her update, I was filled with tears. I never realized how
much everyone has helped her and Sydney. All of your guestbook entries mean so much
to our family...thank you for giving our daughter's support. Patrick and I are waiting for
the day that we can give like we have received. My prayers go out to all of you and I
hope you all don't stop the prayers for my children. I hope to get better at writing more
frequently in the updates. Now that my mom is back I should be able to get some time in
on the computer. Please have a wonderful day and "It's gonna be a good day".
All my love
Holly and Patrick



March 27th, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is Tuesday. We have decided to cancel the MRI for tomorrow and reschedule it
for next Thursday (Aril 5th) at 9:00am. We needed to do some
fun R and R things this week (the kids are on spring break). As I stated
before, the MRI has no importance to me. I am still going to continue with
her alternative treatments. Her MRI will be in Tampa and we wont hear the
news until Friday. I look at this as getting in an extra week of prayers!
Payton continues to be doing Ok. We are having a really good time the last few
days...we have been outside everyday making fairy houses. The fairy house can only be
made with nature, no man made products. It has been fun watching the girls be creative.
I came down with shingles last Friday (I told you my nerves are shot) and I had mouth
surgery the same day. I have stitches everywhere in my mouth. I can only eat soft things
and drink room temp beverages (red wine)! I think if I just slept for a full week, I would
feel so much better. Well, I will be fine. I can't complain one bit. I will let you know
how our week went and thank you again for all of your support. You all are amazing
people. Please have a great day. It's gonna be a good day.
Love you all,
Holly and Patrick




Sunday, April 01, 2007
Hello everyone,
Today is Sunday. We were away last week for spring break. We decided to take a trip
last minute. The girls were all in need of some one on one time with mom and dad. We
went to a beautiful cabin in North Georgia. We overlooked the mountains and watched
the sunrise every morning. The girls (even Payton) played outside in the dirt all day long.
If was so relaxing to get away and just enjoy the family. We will put pictures on the
website of the girl’s fairy houses and of them getting very dirty!!!!! Payton took a bath
every night without crying. Each night we built a fire outside in a screened-in porch with
rocking chairs. We made smores for the kids and had wine for us. Patrick, my mom
and I needed this trip. (I really needed to have time to recover from my shingles and
surgery). We all needed a few days to escape our life...I really didn't want to come home.
We were only supposed to be gone from Friday to Tuesday, but we all wanted to stay.
That is why we extended our trip and cancelled the MRI. As I stated before, the MRI
will be on Thursday April 5th. I hope I stay as brave as I have been talking lately. I
think Payton is going to be a spokesperson for eating healthy. We were at a party the
other night and a little boy gave her a piece of candy. She is not allowed any sugar. She
put it into her mouth and quickly spit it out. She started to tell everyone that candy is not
good for you and we should all eat better. She will even tell you what foods you should
eat. She is something else. Payton and the girls are busy planning her 5th birthday which
is May 7th. She is having a tea party and her sisters will be the servers. She also stated
that the little girls must drink chi tea (that is Payton's favorite). I am sure I have stated
before, Payton is a very big tea drinker. She always has to have a cup of tea first thing in
the morning. We finally got her to like Green Chi tea. She said she would like to have a
Barbie motor car. So Patrick and I will need to find someone who can change the foot
pedals to hand controls. It is so great to see her not feel limited and dream. Thank you
all so much for standing behind us with your support and prayers. Every day I fight my
anxiety and fear. I hate the nights....my thoughts always get the best of me. HOWEVER,
my thoughts keep going to my faith and hope, when I say that is all I have...I mean it. I
love reading your guestbook entries...even though we are at a calm moment they are
pulling our family through. Your encouragement is well needed. There was someone
who sent us a gift card...how do we thank you. I don't know how Patrick and I will be
able to repay or thank each of you for all of your generosity and kindness. The support
and love you all give.........thank you from the bottom of my heart....thank you. We are
all trying to get Payton better, what a team we are! Well, please have a wonderful
Sunday. Enjoy the day! It's gonna be a good day!
All our love,
Holly and Patrick
Wednesday, April 4th


Hello Everyone,

Today is Tuesday. We have had a busy week already. My brother came into town
yesterday and the girls are having a lot of fun with him. On Monday, Payton went into
my mom's hot tub (with her life vest) twice. She stayed in for more than 10 minutes each
time. She finally got comfortable and started to "swim" without my brother holding on to
her. She usually falls forward due to her lack of trunk control, however, she was able to
keep herself afloat. On Saturday, we went to an Easter Egg hunt. I tried to put her in a
nice dress, however when I held up the dress to get her approval, she firmly stated "mom
don't you know I am a rocker girl"...that was the end of wearing a dress. I hope Patrick
will put the picture on the web of her and Sydney with the Easter Bunny. Savanna was at
a friend’s house and felt she was a bit too old to go on the egg hunt. However, there is
another one this weekend and she insists on going! Payton had a great time. Oh how
these moments are priceless. Sunday, we went to the beach for the first time since
June/July (I can't remember the month) of last year. I can't believe how those months are
such a blur. Payton loved playing on the beach. She built a sandcastle and helped the
girls make a fort. We went late in the day so it wasn't so hot out. The last time we tried
the beach, she only lasted for 5 minutes before we had to leave. Again this was priceless.
I have been sent some wonderful inspiring books and articles. They all have the same
message which is having strong faith. I have not one questioned why...there could never
be an answer that would make me understand this disease (especially on a child). What I
continue to do and hope I have with all of you is true faith in Payton's healing. I sat down
and did a lot of thinking about how I pray and do I really believe she is going to get
better. There was a moment during this terrible time when I was given the opportunity to
see in a dream a situation dealing with Payton actually occur 3 months later. How can I
not feel so blessed and have faith when I see her fighting and talking about the angels. I
continue to see Payton (in my dreams) in short hair walking. Patrick does as well. I can
look at that as our wishful thinking, but I do believe in my heart my daughter will pull
through. I cannot have doubt just true faith in her healing. We all thank god for her
healing and ask the angels to protect her. I do not want to come across pushing anything
on any of you. I feel there is a difference in religion and being spiritual. We all have
different religions, but we can all be spiritual...it has given me peace and hope during all
of this. As I end this update I continue to ask for your continued prayers of true feeling
for her healing. Thursday (MRI day) will be just a day for me. I will continue to treat
Payton the way we have that last month. I don't know if I want to know the results. I
need to stay completely focused, strong, hopeful and full of faith. So as I stated in a
prior update, Patrick will be putting the updates on and will let you know the results, but
whatever the outcome, please don't let it bring down your faith and hope...it is just a test.
Can you tell that is what I keep playing in my head over and over? Anyway, I thank you
again for you continued support and love for us and our little darlings. Please have a
great day tomorrow...It's gonna be a good day.
All our love,
Holly and Patrick



Friday, April 6

Hello Everyone,

Today is Good Friday! Well we did the MRI yesterday at the Tampa clinic. It was the
first time for me that I didn't have a mental or physical break down. I even went and got
a haircut afterwards. Payton's blood work didn't come back as good as I had wanted
them, but they were still OK. Everyone at the clinic loved her. They commented on
how talkative she is, how pleasant and what a sweet little girl (we all know that). The
only issue
was her right eye became VERY red and slightly swollen from the anesthesia.
She slept most of the day and by the time she was to go to bed, she wasn't too tired. So
we all (all the girls) had a cup of tea and watched the Disney channel in my bed. I felt
like I won the lottery. I am taking a different path with Payton right now. I am trying
very hard to reword my statements such as "I hope she gets better" to "she is better". I
have been telling her she is all better and healed. Not that I am trying to lie to her, but I
strongly feel that if her mind thinks she is healed, she will help herself get better. Does
any of that make sense? We are to find out the results today of the MRI, however, I
won't know. I don't know if Patrick will put the findings on the update, sorry I have to do
that to you all. I really need to stay focused right now on being completely positive
and having no doubts. I need to stay faithful. I know it may sound like I have lost my
mind (which is somewhat true) but this is how I need to fight to get Payton better. This
weekend will be very busy (in a good way).
Patrick's 40th is on Monday. We are having a small get together for it tonight (nothing
major). Tomorrow is an Easter Egg Hunt at our church and then Easter on Sunday. As I
stated in my last update about Payton stating she is a rocker girl, I still do not have a clue
on what that child will wear for Easter Sunday. I am hoping her girly sisters will help her
see the "girly" light and get her to wear a dress. I know I have asked you all to pray for
Payton over and over again, but please continue to pray for her (especially this Sunday
which is such a special day). Please have a wonderful day and weekend. It's gonna be a
good day.

All our love as always
Holly and Patrick


Sunday, April 8th

My week with Payton,
I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter! This is Payton's Uncle Beezer. I asked Holly if
I could post an update to take it off of her plate and to give you a little perspective from
my view. As you already know Payton has been doing really well the last couple of
months. Her hair is coming in and she is finally getting bed head! On my drive down
here I stopped off to buy an audio book to pass the time. I went to two places with no
luck and finally I stopped and found an audio book that I was drawn to. It was a
motivational, inspiring work that lit a fire in me. 'The Secret' was a women's search for
the ultimate gift of inner peace, positive outlook and an overall blueprint for health,
wealth and happiness.

I listened and listened and with each word I became more focused and determined to help
give my sister strength and support. It's main focus was one thing...Positive Thinking!
We all tend to doubt ourselves, each other and most importantly the hand life deals us.
My dad always preached this to us and I finally understood. Yes at 31! It's never too
late. We need to surround ourselves with positive people, positive energy and believe.

On to my week with Payton...This girl, rocker chick, little cookie, fearless, awe inspiring,
almost 5 year old going on 30 has touched so many people. First off she skipped school
on Monday to come see her crazy uncle. Well she wanted to go in the hot tub so off we
went...laughing along she was having trouble keeping her but from floating up so we
worked on this and she taught herself how to swim without the use of her legs and
learned how to keep herself afloat. Well she did it and we took her into the big pool
where she swam to mimi and back all by herself...Inspiration to say the least! Then the
little sweetheart loves music but not kid's music all different kinds; INXS (as you all
know), Elvis and I put in a Ray Charles CD while we were eating lunch. 'Uncle Beezer
dance with me', So 'Night Time' is the Right Time was on (think of the cosby show when
rudy was singing and Bill was lip syncing the part of Ray). I picked her up and we
danced and danced and she loved it so. She also learned the words to the song and sang
them in my ear. We then slow danced to Georgia and she put her head on my shoulder...I
love her so much.

The next time we went swimming I went to the dollar store to pick up pool toys for the
girls and I spent $30 on rubber ducks, rubber frogs, dinosaur eggs that grow, a bow and
arrow, rafts, balls, just to name a few. We had a blast. Oh and she loves playing hide
and seek. I also have to apologize to her we were playing with a super bouncy ball that is
as big as a softball and bounces to at least 30-50 feet...I hit her in the head and she just
shook it off and said she needed ice!

We made it through Thursday's MRI and man she is the bravest person I know. My
mom, Holly, Pat and I took her in and she keeps us calm saying that wasn't bad (when
they accessed her port) and it's gonna be ok. Then Friday we celebrated Pat's birthday
with friends and It was so nice to see Pat and Holly having a good time dancing and just
having fun! Payton gets her charisma, bravery and heart from these two. Boy are they
great parents that are helping this child fight on while helping Savanna and Sydney grow
into young women.
On to Saturday where after Pat had a rough night, a few too many cocktails. His friend
Scott took us to his farm to shoot guns, (smart thing huh!)...Well it was myself, Matty my
best friend, Tom Petti and his father. We're on this beautiful 60,000 acre farm and having
a good old time and we look over and ask Scott if we can pick some fresh oranges off of
his trees...'Sure thing' he said and we had the freshest oranges you will ever have...Great
time...It was nice to see Pat have a good time...Thanks Scott it was great, next time wild
boar hunting!

Finally Easter, we all went to church and Payton saw Pastor Steve and he came
over...'Happy Easter Pastor Steve' was the first thing she said. She makes you drop your
jaw every day... Our family had dinner and Matty came over. She was giving him high
fives and screaming at me to play dolls with her. It was a truly blessed day.

Sorry this update was so long but I wanted to give you a look into the life of our Payton.
We continue to pray, we must be positive and continue to fight. She has such an
infectious smile and I try to get her to laugh often. Laughter can help in her battle and
she needs to do it as much as possible.

Well that's it. I will see her when the Wright's are coming up to PA in a month. Thank
you for all of your support, especially with Pat, Holly and my Mom and Dad...This has
been very tough on all of them to keep our family strong and focused. I also wanted to
thank Erik Rettger and his family. There was an article recently in the Murrysville Star
where the Rettgers were named citizens of the year for they're charitable work...They
have supported the Payton Wright Wellness fund and had her name and cause in the
article.

All the Best,

Brian



April 11, 2007

Hello to everyone. Sorry for not updating the site as of late. I will do so soon. In the
meantime please take a look at the essay below from a 13 year old boy who obviously
adores Payton. He visits her often and they seem to have a very special bond. Payton
touches so many in so many different ways and the below is one of them. Love to all,
Patrick


Dear Diary,
Today I want to tell you about a person that means the world to me. She means so much
to me that if I do not see her at least once every week I freak out. When she smiles, it is
like seeing the sun after a rainy day. She has taught everyone who has heard her story to
take none of your friends and family for granted because they might be gone the next
day. This girl I love so much and would hate to see god take away such a beautiful
loving angel. Her name is Payton Wright. She is 4 years of age and she has tumors on
her spine and in her brain. When you are around her and you look into her eyes, you get
a joy compared to nothing else. God please do not let her leave us this way Please! I
love you Payton.
Love,
Brian or the Boy (as Payton call’s me)


Saturday, April 14, 2007

Hello Everyone, Today is Friday. We have had a very long week. I am so glad my
brother put an update on earlier this week. Our holiday was wonderful. However,
Payton had a very bad reaction to the anesthesia from her MRI. Her eyes were bloodshot
and swollen. The entire weekend she was not feeling well and has had headaches all
week. I am staying calm because with some natural remedies we are able to relieve her
pain. We also contacted hospice. When Patrick told me he wanted them to assist us, I
about freaked out. I actually couldn't breath. My thought was "how dare he bring
hospice in...Payton is getting better...how could he not have faith and not be positive".
Well, I needed to be educated regarding their services. What is great about the program
is I don't have to go to the hospital ever. They will do her blood work, check in, take
urine samples if need, etc. That is all I wanted...to not have to go back to the hospital. I
met with four different women who were so nice, caring and yes very positive about
Payton. Patrick and I have decided not to do any more MRI's as well. Again, what is
the point. We are continuing with our alternative medicine. My brother gave me some
CD's regarding positive energy/thinking etc. I always thought I was fairly positive, but
after listening to these CD's I realized I needed to completely change my way of
thinking/speaking. I will not have doubt regarding Payton's wellness. It doesn't matter
what the MRI states, Payton is a fighter and she has ALL of US to help her recover. So
many have said to me..."It is up to God...whatever God's will is towards Payton..." Well,
I have to say that it is up to God regarding her healing, but that he does not want Payton
or any of us to suffer. His will is for Payton to be healed. I am going to ask a favor of all
of you regarding your prayers/thoughts of Payton. When you think of Payton or pray for
her, do it with complete confidence that she WILL be well. I picture her everyday
running around. Please don't think I am in denial...I know my daughter is very ill. But
that does not mean that she can never get better... stranger things have happened. I think
we are all used to going with what is black and white. Things in the gray are too scary. I
am going to take a walk on the wild side and go with gray. Anyone what to join me? I
have a feeling Patrick thinks that I have lost my mind. I do believe he is worried about
me, but I really am not crazy...I just need to keep my hope/faith strong. I have been in
fight mode since May 17th of 2006. Why should I stop now. These updates are very
hard for me....there are no words that can truly express our life. Patrick and I are slaves
to this disease. I never have a chance to have "down time". Not that I am even looking
for it now...there will be a day I will get it back. But, if any of you have had a sick child
that lasts for a few days, you know you can't do anything. This entire week, I have had to
stay in our bed and lay with Payton while she recovers from her headaches. Patrick and I
run to drop off urine samples, to going to appointments to getting her "special foods". I
would not be doing anything else, but this. However, we are so numb and tired. I am
not looking for sympathy, just needed encouragement to get us through our days. The
next few months are critical and we are going into major fight/determination mode.
Please keep us in your thoughts/prayers with strong beliefs. My daughter will be healed,
she will be better and NO I am not in denial. Thank you ever so much for all you have
done. I also wanted to mention that our church had a blood drive not to long ago and
there were a large crowd that donated blood in Payton's honor. I am so excited of the
turn outs on these blood drives. I know we have all helped SO many people. Be proud
of yourselves. I am so proud of all of you. Thank you for giving blood/platelets...Thank
you thank you thank you. Please stay strong..."IT'S GONNA BE A GOOD DAY"!
All my love
Holly


Sunday, April 15, 2007

Hello everyone,
Make sure you read the last few updates if you haven’t. They are pretty good and
informative on what has been happening. I wanted to let everyone know about how the
latest MRI came back. I have been putting it off because Holly does not know any details
and only knows it must be bad because I haven’t said anything to her. She requested that
she did not want to know and is trying to be as positive as she can be. She is doing a
great job! Many of you who read these updates don’t know Holly. I will tell you and
you can ask anyone who does, that she is the most wonderful mother and wife any child
or husband could ever hope to have. Payton is so fortunate to have such a patient, caring,
compassionate, determined, strong, and loving mother. You can’t imagine how hard this
has been on us. We have been dealing with this disease for a year. I have tried to be very
strong and as strong as I try to be I wonder sometimes if it is enough, I know I get my
strength from Holly though. I look at her in amazement how she fights every day for
Payton and me and the girls. She is truly an amazing mother to Payton and Savanna and
Sydney as well.
Ok, back to the MRI. Well it wasn’t good news, but without a lot of the details….. The
MRI showed progression and I will leave it at that for now. We are continuing on and
everyday is a new day and she is really doing very well. As Anne recently wrote in
Payton’s guestbook, you can still live tumors in your body. Her son is a testament to that.
Payton hasn’t shown many symptoms so we continue to fight on and enjoy life every day.
We are done with MRI’s and hospitals for now as Holly stated in her prior update. No
more putting her through those things. Basically… because conventional medicine can’t
really do much more for her as far as treatment goes. So why do them. Anyway we are
continuing to be positive for her. As I am writing this I can hear her laughing…..Wow
that is such a great sound!
Love to all,
Patrick
Monday, April 23, 2007
Hello Everyone,
Today is Sunday. I want to first thank you all for being such caring, supportive people.
I appreciate the guestbook entries, especially now when I am trying so hard to keep my
faith and hope strong. As I stated in the last update, Payton was having headaches. She
continues to get them, but they are nothing like they were when her shunt was
malfunctioning. It has been a pretty hard week though. Patrick and I have to work
through our worries and sleep deprivation. It is very difficult to explain in words what
we go through on a daily basis. I could try to sit here and write about our experiences,
but it's not about us...it's about getting our little girl healthy. I am definitely not the same
person I was a year ago. I have changed in some good and some not so good ways. I
have gained from Payton a life lesion that unfortunately not all of us get to learn. I feel
horrible that it took her to get so sick to teach me. I think I am still grieving for our life
that has changed, our family that has changed, my daughter who has changed. I don't
want to sound as if I don't thank god every moment for my children, having good days
with Payton, Patrick, a life we work hard every day to be fun and somewhat normal. It's
just so hard to look back before this happened and see how our whole family has
changed. I guess that is what illness does...it affects every aspect of a person's life, not
just their health. Last week we met with Payton's doctor from Tidewell Hospice. She
was awesome. I really liked her. I will be calling the nurse in tomorrow to check her
urine. I am positive she has another UTI. I don't think we ever got rid of the last one.
Payton did have a great weekend. She had her friend Deklyn come over and play on
Saturday. They even went swimming. I think she really likes the pool because she is so
free. She can swim all over the place (in her swimming vest) and not have to depend on
any of us. On Sunday we had a full morning. By the afternoon she was playing at her
friends Jordan's house. Jordan was to come over and play, but she wouldn't stop crying
to go over and see Jordan's room. I think she just wants to get out of this house and play
with different toys. We had a party to go to in the evening, but it was cut short because
she had another headache. I am keeping calm and continue to pray for her healing. Well
I hope you all have a great Monday...a new day. Thank you for sticking by us, we really
need your support. It's gonna be a good day.

All of my love
Holly and Patrick

There are new pictures from Easter and with uncle Bzer!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Hello Everyone,
It is Tuesday night. Well, Payton does have a UTI. She has not had a headache today
and told me she had a great day! She went for a vision screening at school (in order to
get hospital homebound...she cannot go to kindergarten this fall because her immune
system is still not strong enough). Anyway, she passed! yeh!!! This update will be short
because it is very late and I am extremely tired. I read the updates tonight and I am so
glad you all are staying positive not only for Payton but in your own life. All of us have
a story...how you live your life is based on how you view your story. The other night,
Savanna was feeling bad about herself. She felt she does everything wrong, etc...After we
talked for a while I asked her why she wants the negative thought/energy to win? So, I
told her to say 10 positive things about herself and her life. After the 4th and 5th, she
began to laugh. I told her to try that when she feels so blue to let the positive stuff win
instead. That is how we are dealing with Payton. It is not easy. I had a major melt
down last week, but all I can do is stay the course. You all have been so incredible...I
read this little statement in a book and I think it is so true "life's tragedies are made up not
as much of the great failures as much as of the simple pleasures and kind gestures
missed." Another statement (and then I am done I promise..."faith is all that dreamers
need to see into the future." With this I will wish you all a good night/great day and It's
gonna be a good day. Thank you all for being our strength.
All our love
Holly and Patrick



Thursday, May 3 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is Wednesday. We just got back from Pittsburgh last night. We left last
Wednesday to go up to visit family. Payton did great throughout the trip. On the flight
up to Pittsburgh, we had about 30 more minutes to go before we landed. At that point,
she told me to tell the pilot to stop the plane. When I told her I couldn't stop the plane,
she wanted to open the window and jump out! I must admit I had a vision of an
emergency landing. But she made it to landing. She did not have any headaches
throughout the trip. Every day was a great day for her and us. She played nonstop. It
was so nice to be with our friends and family. Everyone was so great to come over to my
mom’s house so we didn't have to take Payton all over the place. My grandmother is not
doing well and is in hospice. She has not had any liquids/food for 7 days. I thought I
would be going to a funeral, but she is such a fighter (I know where my Payton gets her
fight and strength)! At one point she opened her eyes and told me to take care of my
girls. Her first statement was "how is the baby" (everyone calls Payton the
baby...however Payton makes it clear that she is a big girl)! My parents donated my
grandmother’s car to the children's cancer assoc. I thought that was awesome! My dad
and mom have taken such good care of my grandparents...and even during this difficult
time they were thinking of helping others. Well, Monday is Payton's 5th birthday. We
are busy planning for her tea party. I ordered tea for one (teapots with tea cups) for all
Payton's friends. I also got build a bears that the girls can stuff and bring to the table to
have their tea party. She is so excited for her birthday. I don't know who is more
excited...us or her. The next few days are going to be crazy getting her party together.
Being away for a week didn't help. I cannot wait to put her birthday pictures up on the
website. Thank you all for your continued prayers....getting her well and walking. I hope
you all have a wonderful day...It's gonna be a good day.
All my love
Holly and Patrick




Monday, May 07, 2007
Hello Everyone,

Today is Sunday. Well, we had Payton's birthday party today. It was awesome. Payton
had such a great time...I felt like it was Christmas just watching her and the girls. I came
down with a major migraine during the party, but I just kept thinking Payton has gone
through worse and stuck it out. I really need to thank all the moms for helping me.
There were moments I didn't know if I was going to make it. Any of you who have had
migraines know what I am talking about...they are not fun to get. So to all the
MOMS...THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! Anyway, we did a lot at her party. There were 6
of Payton's friends that came (I wanted to keep it small so that everyone would play and
not run off). It really turned out great. They stuffed their own bears, made flower
arrangements in tea cups (which was donated by Tidewell), had their nails and make up
done by the older sisters, played pin the tea bag in the tea pot, decorated small cookies for
their bear, ate tea sandwiches and drank tea, and a bunch more. They were busy the
entire time. I really hope all the kids had fun. Payton was so cute, with each gift she
would get so excited with what she received. I couldn’t believe how good she did
without even having a nap. I didn't know what to expect today. Payton's left leg became
slightly swollen over the weekend. Nothing to worry about, we had her checked out, but
you never know what each day may bring. I have to mention how great Tidewell
Hospice has been. We called to just have it noted about her leg and within 20 minutes we
had a nurse at our door to check her. The doctor came this morning at 9:30 to examine
her. Every single individual that has walked through my door from this agency has been
extremely wonderful. I wish I had done this sooner. Payton loves everyone and they
truly love her just as much. They all cannot do enough for her/us. For her birthday, they
gave her the Samantha doll from American Girl and the tea set. Payton was so excited to
receive these gifts. I really cannot thank them enough for their care for Payton and their
thoughtfulness. They treat her like she is the only one on their caseload/as a family
member. They also brought over a miniature tea set from an owner of an antique shop.
Payton just loved it. Since we are on the tea subject, my mom's friend (Linda) from
England called today and pretended to be the queen of England when she talked to
Payton. Oh, how she was so excited. Later that day Payton told me I needed to fly her to
the queen's castle so she can have tea! Thanks’ Linda!!! I was able to get Payton to wear
a skirt today. Payton's response to our discussion of her wearing a dress at her party
"mom, I have been drinking tea for a very long time now and every time I wear t-shirt
and pants. Why now do I have to wear a dress just to drink tea?!!!!!" I didn't have an
answer...how do you answer that! Well tomorrow is her official big 5th birthday. I feel
so blessed and thankful. Every day we say how thankful we are and everyday is one step
closer of her being healed. She really takes after my grandmother, who just passed away
on Friday. My grandmother was a true fighter in all aspects of her life. My Payton is
just like her...I am so proud to say that. I also must mention that my grandmother was a
major tea drinker as well. I feel even more at peace knowing she is up there pulling for
Payton. Well, I am very tired and need some sleep (if that is even a possibility). I hope
you
all have a great day tomorrow. Instead of It's gonna be a good day...it will be a great
day...it's my little ones birthday. Thank you for your continued support and prayers.
Keep up the vision of her healed and walking!

I love you all,

Holly and Patrick


Just a side note….from dad. Last night Payton was sleeping between us as usual. She
began to snore just like her dad. I looked over to see her and noticed Holly staring at her.
We just looked at each other and said how happy and blessed we were to have her with
us. This is one birthday we will not every forget!

Love to all,
Patrick and Holly


Tuesday, May 15, 2007


Today is Monday. Happy Mother's Day to all the MOM's! well, we were a bit crazy last
week. Payton's real birthday last Monday was so wonderful not just for Payton but for us
as well. We started the day a bit rough, but ended very happy. Payton had her friend
Brooke come over to play for a few hours while I went to the dentist for emergency root
canal. Yes I am still having major issues with my mouth. It was so awesome of Ms.
Dina to drive hours and hours from North Carolina to Florida for Payton's birthday.
Payton said that was her favorite present (to have Brooke come for her birthday). We
went to her favorite restaurant Caraba's for dinner. Patrick and I got her the Ariel vanity
table. She spent hours in front of the mirror doing her hair/makeup and her American
Girl Doll’s hair. It was so cute to watch her play (for more than just a few minutes). We
decided not to get her the Barbie car that drives. After looking at them we thought
Payton would actually be too big for it. Her legs have grown. My sister and her kids
(Casey, Ryan and Jessica) came in to visit for the weekend. As many of you know,
Florida got hit with the Georgia smoke from all of their fires. It was not good to be
outside, so we took all the kids to Brandon and went shopping. The girls went to build a
bear and of course we hit a great tea shop. We celebrated all the kids’ birthdays that
night. I got the idea from my sister in law Micheale. When we went to Pennsylvania we
visited Patrick's Rodney and sister in law. She had a cake with all the kid’s names on it
since we never get to be together for everyone’s birthdays. It was such a great idea...and
of course the kids loved it. So we had one down here. I know Payton has been very
happy this week. I think she feels her birthday lasts for a week not a day. Thank you to
everyone who sent her birthday gifts and wishes. I can't tell you what it was like to put
her birthday cake in front of her...I really can't. Well, today we went to another
alternative doctor. The other one was increasing her pill intake to75 pills a day. Plus she
has been waking up in the middle of the night vomiting. It was too much and I felt very
uncomfortable. As I have been stating all along...go with your gut. We were referred to
a doctor affiliated with Moffit Cancer Institute. Patrick and I feel good about going to
him. We stopped her major pill intake on Friday and she didn't have any episodes of
vomiting the entire weekend. I am trying to stay calm, but I am so frustrated with this
whole process of treatments. No one has a clue on what to do...I am not putting all my
apples in one basket... that is the one thing I learned through all this. My prayers begin
with thank you for healing Payton and for her being able to walk then it goes to please
tell me how to help her. Could you all add that to your prayers? I really need the advice.
Anyway, today was good. Payton went to school today and played with her friends Sarah
and Abby. Those girls are so cute. They really like being around Payton. Payton
graduates from preschool this Wednesday. She will wear a cap and gown. I will make
sure we get the pictures up on the web. Well, it is getting late. Please add that extra
statement in your prayers for me...I not feeling so strong lately. Have a great day
tomorrow. It's gonna be a good day...I know its coming.
Love you all,Holly




Thursday, May 17, 2007


Hello Everyone,

Today is Wednesday. Payton graduated from pre-K tonight. I didn't think I would get
so emotional, but I couldn't stop crying when she received her diploma. I think what got
me the most was when people started to stand up and cheer when her name was called.
Payton looked so cute in her cap and gown. However, half way through she took off her
gown. You will see her in the pictures of her just having her cap on when she receives
her diploma. Payton stated later that she was having hot flashes! I think she has been
hanging around too many adults lately! My little girl made it through this year.
Tomorrow will be the one year mark of us finding out she had cancer. I still cannot
believe that we are at the same point we were a year ago. My friends Sam and Jodi will
be taking me out for "therapy" tonight. On Friday, Patrick and I were invited as guests of
Dick Vitale to The Jimmy V Foundation Fundraiser. This organization is incredible.
They have raised millions of dollars for cancer research. Every dollar they raise goes to
research for this dreaded disease. I am sure it will be a great event and raise not only
money, but more awareness. Next week the girls will be out of school and we shall be
planning a fun filled summer. At some point I would like to get up to Pittsburgh and
spend some time with our friends and family. On our last trip, there were several people
we were unable to visit. Everything of course will depend of Payton and her treatments.
Payton has been feeling ok. She seems to get tired easily (nothing out of the ordinary).
She continues to have very wet diapers and when we cath her we hardly get anything out.
We are going to look into seeing a urologist. How great will that be if I don't have to cath
her any more. It is really hard to examine her every moment. I feel that there is always
something wrong. Tonight I was feeling her belly and one side seemed harder that the
other. Now, I have been very good at not freaking out, but it is hard to not let your mind
wander. I will be calling the doctor tomorrow to just ease my mind. I am exhausted
mentally. It takes everything I have to not express my fear, worry, panic, etc. Thank
you all for being so helpful to me. I really appreciate all of your kind words and prayers
for our family. I am so glad to have the guestbook, it helps me stay strong. Thank you
again. It's gonna be a good day.

Love to all
Holly and Patrick



May 18, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is Friday. Well...we went for Payton's ultrasound yesterday due to her swollen
belly. As many of you can guess as we already suspected, Payton's cancer has spread
throughout her body. We were told her liver looked like Swiss cheese and she is down
to one kidney working properly. Many of you already know how devastated we are right
now. I cannot stop my tears and I am lucky if I can sleep. It is very difficult to be around
my beautiful daughter who has so much light in her eyes and spirit and know how much
@#$%% is going on inside her tiny body. But as Patrick keeps telling me over and over,
we must be strong (especially around the girls). Savanna and Sydney know about the
test. Savanna cried and told me that I better not be giving up...I told her I would never
give up and she will see her parents FIGHT for their sister. Sydney, of course, is me and
doesn't want to know details and goes on with her day (I don't see anything wrong with
that...especially at her age). My mind goes from one thought to the other...burial to
keeping faith to oh my GOD what am I going to do. My friend Lisa told me that this is
rock bottom...there is nothing else I can do so give it all over to GOD...I actually felt a bit
better because I can't carry this anymore...I physically can't do it. I think how ironic this
all is. One year ago, May 17th 2006 we found out she has cancer now on May 17th
2007 we were told the worst of the worst. I am having a hard time finishing this
update...from deep within our hearts; please continue your prayers for strength, wellness,
and guidance. We are in uncharted waters and let me tell you its hell. We need all of
you to please keep us in your hearts and prayers, we so desperately need them.

All our love,
Holly and Patrick



Monday, May 21, 2007
I just update Payton’s site with some new pictures. Some are from her graduation, our
trip to my brother Rodney’s house, her birthday tea party and just around the house.
I wanted to say what a great time we had at Dick Vitale’s gala on Friday for the V
Foundation. We are truly blessed to know the Vitale’s. We cannot thank their entire
family enough for the support they have given us, but also for their tireless fight for
cancer. We want to thank Coach K and his family as well. It was great to talk with them
and they were so supportive. I am even a bigger Duke fan now! Holly and I can’t thank
the V Foundation enough for their efforts in helping find a cure for cancer. We met with
Nick Valvano and also spent time talking with Pam and John Strasser. I want to thank
Pam and John for their support of our daughter/family. Holly and I truly appreciated the
time they gave us… it really helped. I know I was a bit emotional and maybe not making
much sense, but just know we are blessed to have met you both.
We sat with the Berg’s who are just tremendous people and have been there for us during
this past year fighting for Payton. Tim donated money to the V Foundation on Friday in
Payton’s honor and I couldn’t stop crying. Tim is an amazing person and what an
awesome thing to do. Timmy Berg who is 14 seems to have a connection with Payton.
He sat with Payton for an hour on Sunday morning just talking away. The adults had to
leave them alone so they could have some time together.
I also wanted to say I met Bill Self the head coach for Kansas basketball. I can’t tell you
how much I appreciated the time he spent with me and the words of encouragement. It
really helped! Everyone we met with there was truly amazing and for such a great cause.
I believe that every dollar earned, and it was over 1 million, will stay in the community
for cancer research. If you ever are looking for a great charitable organization please
consider the V Foundation.
We can’t thank everyone enough since hearing the news last week of Payton’s cancer
spreading. We have had so many people reach out with their thoughts and prayers.
Thank you to our family, friends and the community…you have given us such
support…especially when we need it the most. The next few weeks will be very difficult
for us. Thank you for your continued prayers during this time. I know that Holly will
probably be putting another update on soon. I hope you enjoy the new pictures.

All our love
Patrick and Holly

P.S.

There is a new guestbook section that allows for your entry to get on right away. Thanks
to Nikki in my Pittsburgh office. I believe she is putting an archive section if anyone
wants to read the old guestbook entries.
Thanks and love to all,
Patrick



Thursday, May 24, 2007
Hello Everyone,

It is Wednesday evening. I don't even know how to start. Two weeks ago my little
sweetheart was celebrating her 5th birthday. Today she is not doing very well. The
decline is fast and harsh. She just started to complain about her arm hurting and I am
very fearful that this is a sign of her losing her upper body movements. Many of you
have said how much we have strength and grace. I can't take this anymore. I am dying!
My fear is not so much her death, it is what to come. These last few weeks have been so
incredibly difficult for Patrick and me. I try everyday to stay positive and pray for her
miracle...but when you see her to continue to have more and more symptoms...this is too
much to take. I cannot put into words what we deal with on a daily basis and maybe that
is good to spare everyone from this horrible disease. However, I want everyone to know
that when you see a picture or story of a person with cancer...I will tell you it is down
right ugly and horrific/terrifying. It is fear to it's max. Our family has experienced what
hell is, trust me you don't want any part of it. When this is all said and done, please help
me fight this disease for all children. Our babies should not experience this. All of your
prayers and support is needed so much right now. As you can tell I am having a very
difficult moment. My faith is the only thing that is keeping me a float right now. Please
don't give up on your prayers. I will keep you all up to date as best as I can in the next
few days. I need to go to my closet now.

There will be a good day...I pray it is sooner than later.
Love
Holly


Saturday, May 26, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is Saturday. I can't sleep and I believe it is 3:30 am. Everyday seems to get a
little more difficult and harder for all of us (including Payton). She is not eating. Don't
get me wrong, she wants to but she feels full all the time. We are working very closely
with Hospice and trying to keep her as comfortable as possible. I need to stress this
again, thank goodness for Tidewell. Everyone has been so incredible. As I mentioned in
my last update, we are in uncharted waters. I feel that Tidewell has been our captain to
get us through this difficult time. Yesterday, Patrick and I started visiting cemeteries.
This has to be the most difficult moment of my life. In the next few days, Patrick and I
have many decisions and ones parents should not have to make. I have to tell you the
guestbook entries are absolutely wonderful and very much needed during this time.
Someone stated they didn't know how we do it. I think we are at so much peace with
what is in store for our little girl because for a year we have watched her deal with so
much. I don't want my baby to die, but I don't want her to suffer anymore. This is not
living. This is not who my Payton is. This is not what a 5 year old child should have to
endure. I know that if/when she passes; my little angel will be fine. She will be running,
jumping, laughing again...she will be at peace. I hope all of you hold on to your faith. It
really is the only thing we all have. It has gotten me to this point. Yes I scream and cry
and want a miracle so badly, who wouldn't. We need to take what Payton has been
teaching us. Don't forget the lessons and I feel positive things can come from this. I
don't know what path Patrick and I are on, but I will tell you we are on a mission to help
others. We have signed up on the cancer fighting army. Someone said at the Dick Vitale
Gala..."It will be great when a person walks into his/her doctor’s office and when is told
they have cancer in the next breath are told and here is how we are going to cure it." We
may have a long journey ahead, but we need to start somewhere to make a difference.
Please continue to pray for our family. We need the strength. I also don't want anyone to
feel that all the prayers were done for nothing. We spent the last 6 months really
enjoying our family. We may even get a miracle...but if it goes in a different
direction...faith and hope is all we have and need to always sustain us. I should try to get
some sleep, but before I log off I also wanted to state that both Savanna and Sydney had
their last day of school on Thursday. They both continued to get straight A's even
through all of this. I am so very proud of my children. I don’t really care about grades,
it is the holding it together part I admire about my girls. They will need extra strength
during this. Thank you all for helping the older ones through this as well. May you all
have a good weekend. I pray we do as well.

It's gonna be a good day,
All my love
Holly and Patrick




Tuesday, May 29, 2007

I am having a very difficult time writing this update. It is 4:20 AM on Tuesday. Last
night we had some friends and family and several of the Tidewell Hospice team here at
the house. Payton is very close to being with God. I couldn’t stop crying last night and
am so numb right now. I have tried to stay strong for my family, but last night was very
tough. I really don’t even know what to say. I wanted to thank everyone for their
thoughts and prayers for Payton. These last few days have been especially hard for Holly
and I and I know the next few will be as well.

If Holly can’t give an update online as to what is happening I am sure Mimi will.

Love to you all,
Patrick and Holly


Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Hello Everyone,
Today is Wednesday. I am so sad to have to tell you that our baby girl lost her battle
with cancer yesterday...Tuesday the 29th at 2:20pm. She was at home with all of us in
our bed when she peacefully passed. Patrick, my mom and I were holding her as she
passed away. I have to tell you peace came over me. There is no more worry, pain,
hospitalizations. My daughter is free. On Monday she lost her sight. We just kept her
sedated so she didn't quite understand what was happening. I have to tell you all that we
could not have done with without Tidewell Hospice. Oh my, I can't tell you how
absolutely wonderful and fantastic the entire team was with our Payton and family. Kim
our nurse...Kim I will always be forever grateful for you. You were at our side making
our Payton so comfortable. You are such a caring person. With just knowing you a short
time, you showed so much love for Payton and our family...you show so much love for
your job. I don't know how you do it. We all need to understand what you do day in and
day out. You have a tough job and you do it with such care and grace. Tanya was our
child specialist. She not only stayed to help our girls cope, but she helped our friends
children as well. Tanya was amazing. The girls are sitting next to me right now helping
me write this. Tanya, Savanna wants me to tell you she loves you so much. Sydney
wants to me tell you "thank you for taking us to the baseball game a few weeks ago, I had
lots of fun...thanks for talking to me and Savanna-it helped us so much". Betsy the social
worker, Susan the nurse, and Dr. Angston (I hope I spelled that correctly) we love you
all. You all helped us with Payton and our family. I will cherish you all. It was
unfortunate that I had to experience what hospice is all about... we could not have done
this without them. It was such a blessing that we were able to keep our baby home to die
in our arms peacefully. We will support Tidewell and their programs during our
fundraisers. If any of you get a chance to attend one of their fundraisers or to donate to
the hospice program, it is a wonderful program. We also wanted to thank so many of you
who came to our home to give your support. As I have said from the beginning, that
support is what kept us going and will be what gets us through this difficult time. I told
Patrick that during the last few days before Payton's death, I wanted to remember every
moment of her suffering so that when she died I would remember how important peace
was for her and for us. My heart feels so heavy. We did receive our miracle...it may not
have been what I and all of us wanted...her to stay here with us completely healed...our
miracle was that she is now free of pain and walking...she is in heaven the most
wonderful place to be. I hope we are all so lucky. I was told last week of worst cast best
case of things that could happen to Payton. It is all too painful to write, but let me tell
you she was spared. She died very peacefully. Thank god for that. Our prayers were
answered for that. She actually had a smile on her face...we all felt that she was telling us
she is fine and feels great. Savanna and Sydney are doing as best they can...it's a scary
time for them now. However, when Patrick and I told them their sister had just passed,
they ran into our bedroom and laid right beside her. Sydney just kept kissing her
head...the love they had and have for their sister melts my heart. We will all be Ok, but
there is such a loss/void in our family and heart. I hope you all continue to keep strong
and hold your faith. I have no anger towards anything but cancer. God helped us
through this process and will continue to help us for the rest of our lives. He has is
beautiful angel at his side and she will be with us for eternity. Yesterday we had a good
day...because she is no long suffering she is free.
Someone wrote this in her guestbook and it made us all feel so much better…

―We have lost Payton, but we have gained many new crusaders in the fight against
childhood cancer.

Payton was a treasure whose spirit and resiliency will never be forgotten. She might
have passed on, but she will never die.”




I love you all
Holly and Patrick

On another note, we will have her service at Harvest United Methodist Church on Friday
the 1st form 5-7pm and on Saturday service at 10:00 AM with lunch to follow.
If anyone wants to help with the lunch, there will be a contact person at Harvest. I will
get that name to you all.


Friday, June 01, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is Friday. I don't even know where to begin this update. I first want to extend a
big thank you to all for the most incredible words of comfort during this difficult time for
our family. However, I feel I must say some comforting words to all of you, because we
feel Payton became everyone’s child. A few days before Payton's death, I sat and
watched her lay in our bed very uncomfortable. I remember saying to myself that I
wanted those images to stick like super glue in my mind forever, because when she
would pass I would understand the importance of peace. When Payton died and a few
minutes after I was yelling how much I love her (I wanted her to hear my words as she
was leaving for heaven), peace quickly came over me. I cannot explain it, I feel Payton
took all of our worry, fear and heartache with her...I feel she is now taking care of Patrick
and I. As I have said before, we were told of horrible/painful situations that could occur
to Payton. We were so blessed to not have that happen and she died peacefully. I just
want to all to know that...she died in such peace. Yesterday, we went to the funeral home
for just family. I think that was harder than viewing her at home. It's funny, I spent the
last year holding it together in front of Payton, that in the funeral home, I had a hard time
crying. I don't when I am in the shower or my closet, but other times I can't. I told my
sister that I need to reprogram my emotions again. I have put on the strength in front of
her for so long, I can't lose it when I am with her. I know when this week is over, I will
have some very good cries...I will have them most likely for a life time. We again
promised Payton as we left last night, that we will keep up the fight in her name to help
children. We told her we need her guidance and help to achieve a large goal we are
making for ourselves. So know that Payton will continue to be on our team fighting
childhood cancer...I know she will be our biggest supporter. I again thank you all for
such wonderful words and support. I also wanted to thank all my friends and family who
are working so hard to help put her "Celebration of Life" service together in such a way
that tributes such a wonderful human being. Our little girl was and is an amazing
child...someone asked me to describe her in three words... I said STRENGTH, FAITH,
AND HUMOR. You cannot go wrong if you are able to have those three. Our love to
all and thank you for your guestbook entries. We will continue to write updates to let you
all know how we are doing and what we are doing with raising awareness and funds for
cancer.


Have a great day...It's gonna be a good day

Love to all
Holly and Patrick


Saturday
Holly and I said to each other we wish we could see a sign that Payton was ok. There
have been so many. How about all this rain bringing the frogs out? If you were out last
night or this morning did you see all the frogs! She is doing just fine. I love you baby
girl.
Daddy.



Monday, June 04, 2007
Hello Everyone,

Today is Monday. Patrick, Savanna, Sydney and I got through the weekend. It has been
very difficult and every time I enter my closet, tears roll down. I know that will happen
for awhile. On Friday we had almost 800 people come to the church to give us
support...you all are wonderful. We displayed Payton's favorite things such as, books,
drawings, clothing, stuffed animals or should I say frogs, blankets and other memorable
items. It really looked beautiful. I wanted so much for the church to look and feel of
Payton...I think we accomplished that this weekend. I don't know what to say about the
funeral service. I feel it was a wonderful tribute to our daughter. My father, brother,
sister, our dear family friend Jack, Patrick and myself stood up and said some amazing
things regarding Payton. There were some difficult moments during the service,
especially when I had to return a cross necklace that Pastor Steve had given (last Aug
2006) to Payton to wear when she was scared. That necklace had a great deal of meaning
to me...it was all about Payton. Payton always talked about wanting to return it when she
was healed...now she is. Pastor Steve did an incredible job at the service. One of his
speeches involved "8 Lessons Payton Taught Us". If you can, print them out and put
them on your refrigerator. Here they are:

1. It's always a good time for tea.
2. Life is much more fun when you live out loud.
3.   Every princess needs a frog or two.
4.   Honesty really is the best policy.
5.   Calling someone "stupidhead" sounds much nicer if you're smiling when you say it.
6.   Be thankful for every minute you have.
7.   One small life can make huge ripples.
8.   Always, always, always keep the faith.

Also during the service, Dan Whissell wrote, sang and dedicated a song for Payton. Oh
let me tell you there was not a dry eye in the room. It was the most wonderful song I
have ever heard. So what Patrick and I decided to do was raise money from this song to
help build a new nursery for the church...Payton's Wing. We will have this available
within the next few weeks. We are all just getting through this a day at a time. The girls
are sleeping with us right now...I think I need them more than they need me. I also
wanted to thank all our friends, members of our church and the community for helping us
make Payton's funeral special for Payton. When we released the doves, I could vision
Payton happy and free (that is a thought that is much better than what we witnessed a few
day before). I promise we will keep up our updates and continue our fight for childhood
cancer. Oh, before I sign off...a Payton moment. Patrick and I were at the viewing of
Payton on Thursday. As I was leaving I said to her "Payton you know I don't like
squirrels or frogs that much (due to certain instances) but if you could put ONE in my
path just to let me know you are ok and happy I would appreciate it"...well Friday on our
way home from the memorial service at the church there were hundreds of frogs jumping
all over the street. My sister who was driving was terrified she was going to hit one. I
think she is doing very well.

Love to all
Holly



Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is Wednesday. Well, it has been a week since our little angel passed away. Each
day it seems to get harder and harder for us. We just miss her...we miss her so much.
Mornings are the toughest for me. She would always wake up at 6:30am and say "good
morning mommy...what can I have to eat"? We have been on "go" mode for so long and
all of a sudden it just stops. I have spent the last year caring for Payton and I really don't
know what to do with myself now. I feel bad for Savanna and Sydney, because I am all
over them (in a good way). I have to make sure I don't smother them. The girls have
continued to sleep with us at night. Sydney said "sorry mom, but I think I need to sleep
with you for awhile"....of course I don't mind...I need my girls so much right now.
Patrick said we need to buy a super king size bed. We just received from Dan the song
he wrote for Payton. I hope to have it available soon. I can't wait for you all to hear it...it
is so incredible. Hospice continues to give our family support.
Child life was here yesterday and we all made shirts that said "Cancer Sucks". There is
no better statement. The social worker will be here today and will introduce us to another
person who will help us through this grieving period. We could not have done this
without hospice...what a wonderful organization...what wonderful people. Pastors
Catherine and Steve have been here every day as well. The support we are getting...we
need it. My strength is losing speed, I don't have much anymore. I used it up last week
to get through the days. I loved my little girl so much...it is so hard to be without her.
We are trying to reconnect with the Savanna and Sydney. Those two little angels are
helping us...if they only knew how much I lean on them. Thank you again for all of your
prayers and support. I know Payton is doing well and is happy...it has been a good day
for her. That is all I wanted for my daughter...to have good days.

All my love
Holly and Patrick



Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Hello everyone. We are trying to get some time together just the four of us. We thought it might
be good for the girls, but in reality it has been very tough. We just can't stop thinking about
Payton, crying and wishing she was still here with us. Holly is having a hard time and really
trying to keep it together for Savanna and Sydney. They both are doing pretty well, but I think
they are our strength right now. Holly and I will be in touch next week with an update on how
things are going and possibly pictures that Heather at Catch A Star Photography has put together
from the memorial service. I am sure they are wonderful, but we want to have a chance to look at
them first. Holly will be on with an update soon. Thanks and love to all.

Patrick and Holly.



Hello Everyone,

Today is Sunday. This week has been very difficult for all of us. It is so hard to get out
of bed every morning. We want so much to hear the words "Good morning
mommy/daddy...what can I have to eat?" I know I may have said this before, but we
have been on such a schedule with Payton and taking care of her around the clock. Then
all of a sudden it just stops...I feel I don't know what to do. We are going to take this
week and spend major quality time with the girls. The girls are doing ok. They continue
to sleep with us and I think we all need that right now. We brought Payton's ashes home
on Thursday. I am so glad of our decision. It is actually comforting to go into her room
and see her angel sitting on her shelf. She has her hospital puppy sitting with her. We
bought her her hospital puppy when we first went to All Childrens for basic tests. After
her bone scan, Patrick took her to the gift shop and she picked out the puppy. That dog
has always been with her ever since. Every time she had to go to the hospital, have tests
done, or different doctor visits, her puppy went. We will be turning her room into a play
room. I felt it only appropriate for children to go in and play...that was who Payton
was...a playful child. We don't have any problems getting rid of her bed...she never slept
in it. Now if it was my bed...I couldn't, our bed was Payton's bed. It is so awesome to
hear all of your guestbook entries. Not only for the comforting words but for all of your
frog sightings. I do believe she is still with us to help us cope and let us know she is
doing well. The song that Dan wrote for her (that we will hopefully get out to you soon)
says it all. She is playing, jumping and happy. For the first time in a year, Payton is
feeling great. That is all I wanted for my daughter. Selfishly I would have wanted her
here with us, but my main goal was for her to be completely healed (that included
walking). As I stated before, we did receive our miracle for her. I cry more everyday...I
just miss her so much. Patrick and I wake up in the morning and just walk around like
zombies. We will look at each other and say the same words....I just miss her. We tell
her and the girls all day long how much we love them all. I don't think you could ever
tell someone too much how much you love them. I remember being told when all of my
girls were babies, that I shouldn't hold them too much because you will spoil them...well,
I never listened and all my girls were attached to my hip. I am so glad that I held my
girls all the time, for as we all have witnessed you never know what will happen at any
minute. Our hearts are so heavy and there isn't anything worse than losing a child.
However, we would do an injustice to Payton if we sat back and let life go by. We need
to honor Payton and continue to keep faith and fight for children. We promised her and
we promised eachother we would not give up. We are taking her drive, spirit and fight to
battle childhood cancer. Thank you to all who have said they are our crusaiders...we
need to build our army. We are looking at our Payton's Party weekend fundraiser ( Fri
Golf and Saturday walk) in September. I will confirm dates within the next few weeks.
Thank you so much for helping us during this time. The dinners, cards, donations to
Hospice/V Foundation/Harvest Methodist Church mean so much.

The above was written last Sunday. We went away for a week to regroup as a family.
Every day I cried. Patrick and I seemed to walk around as zombies.
Our trip was nice, but it took a lot of effort to show enjoyment. It was so hard to walk
back into the house today. We all went into Payton's room and had another good cry. I
really don't know how we are going to get through this..,I really don't. I know today is
Father's Day...Payton gave Patrick a hand painted card and rock the Wednesday before
she passed for Father's day.
Oh how he is cherishing those items. We are trying to take one day at a
time. Right now my head feels like I am in a fog.

Happy Father's Day,

Love
Holly and Patrick

Also you can check out the pictures that Heather from CatchAStar photography took of
Payton’s service. Go to Payton’s site and hit the CatchAStar link. The password is
paytonmemorial

Heather, you did an amazing job once again! Thank you so much for what you have
done and do. We are so blessed to have met you. I hope you have some idea of how
much this has meant to our family. Thank you, thank you.

Patrick and Holly



Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Hello all. Sunday was a tough day (father’s day) for me. Holly handed me a picture that
Payton had drawn for me for her Father’s Day present. Needless to say that was all it
took to make dad cry again. Well it really doesn’t take much at all for that to happen.
Holly and I are doing ok trying to get the house back in order, going through paper work
and bills, and everyday stuff. I suppose someday things will get better, but for now we
are pretty consumed with feeling sad. We have so much support from family and friends
that I just don’t know how people get through this without it. Our community, Lakewood
Ranch just called and wanted to plant a tree in Payton’s name with a plaque at our local
park. What a great idea and we thank them from the bottom of our hearts. Thank you all
so much, we mean everyone.
I wanted to let you all know that Holly and I are truly committed to continuing our fight
to raise awareness and money for cancer research and families. Many of you have told us
you are on board and ask us ―what can we do‖? Well, in the next couple of weeks Holly
and I will be figuring out what we will be doing actively to promote awareness. There
are several events already in progress. There is the 2nd annual Payton Wright golf outing
in Pittsburgh on Aug 20th you can contact jack.wilkins@hotmail.com (412.841.5197) or
brian@portercs.com (412-380-7500 ext 102) to golf, volunteer, donate, or be a sponsor.
You can also request a brochure from them as well.
There is also the 2nd annual Payton golf outing at the Lakewood Ranch Country Club
September 21st in Sarasota, FL. You can contact Tony Noweski at tonytn1@hotmail.com
to golf, volunteer, donate, or be a sponsor. Both of these outings fill up pretty fast, so if
you want to golf, get to the people running the outings early. In Sarasota I think there is
going to be another fun walk for Payton as well. It will be on the 22nd of September. I
will get back to you with contact information on that event. We have not yet decided
where exactly the funds for these events will go yet and will be having a meeting next
week to decide.
I received a call from Dick Vitale the other day letting me know about the 1 million
dollar Pediatric Cancer Research Grant in Payton’s name he is working so diligently on
through the V Foundation. There have been many who have already donated to the grant
from small amounts to many thousands of dollars, including Dick himself. We can’t
thank him enough and we are so honored that he is doing this in Payton’s name. There
just isn’t enough money for research out there for kids. The V Foundation
www.jimmv.org is the organization that is sponsoring the grant for Payton and we can’t
thank them enough as well. To learn more about the grant go to
www.dickvitaleonline.com. On the front page in the center you will see a picture of
Payton and a message from Dick about what he and the V Foundation are doing in her
name. You can donate to the address listed on his site. Please write checks to the V
Foundation and in the memo just put Payton Wright grant or something to that effect.
Here is the address to send checks. Tandem Enterprises, 7810 Mathern Court,
Bradenton, Fl 34202
I am not sure when he is presenting the check, but I believe it is at next year’s Dick Vitale
Gala . That will be a good day!

Dick Vitale and his entire family are as I have said many times, true champions in the
battle to win the fight against cancer. I can’t thank them enough for what they have done
for my family and am truly blessed to know them.
We are also blessed to have so many friends and family that have supported us, Payton
and her fight for cancer awareness. Holly and I are going to be continuing on Payton’s
fight and hope all you will follow with us along this journey. Payton has changed my life
and I know many of you as well. I hope it will make you feel better about life and how
something good can come out of such a terrible loss of life. One of my good friends said
she finds herself every day telling someone new about Payton’s story. And she is excited
to do so. I feel the same way. Pass it along to your friends and family and help us all win
this battle!

Payton… mommy and daddy will make you proud up there in Heaven looking down on
us. We love you and miss you so much. Love mom and dad.

Love to all you,
Patrick and Holly


Hello Everyone,

Today is Wednesday. Well, the girls have started their camp this week. They are gone
from 9-2. It is very hard to be in such a quiet house. I make sure that after camp the girls
have friends over. It is nice to hear noise and kids playing. It has been a long time since
we had a house full of children. Not that Payton didn't want kids over, but she wanted
the girls all to herself. Every moment, Patrick and I talk about Payton's
statements/comments. Sometimes we laugh but mostly we cry. I feel so physically
drained. My heart actually hurts. All we think about is Payton's last year. It is almost
impossible for me to think about Payton before she became ill. I think I spent a great
deal of time at the beginning of Payton's illness grieving for the loss of pre-cancer
Payton, now I am grieving all over again for the other Payton. She never was out of my
sight...I knew every inch of her...she was all I was about for the last year. It is so hard for
me to just stop and be. Pastor Steve said to me today that I need to make time to just
relax and take time for me and Patrick...I know he is right, but I really don't know how. I
think I needed Payton more than she needed me. Patrick said today that it is hard to look
in our back seat and not see Payton in her car seat. I told him that the Saturday before
she died I took her for a drive. As you all know she was not feeling good at all but
insisted that she get out of the house. As I had done for over a year, I complied.
Whatever Payton wanted to do I did. Anyway, I remember driving around town in major
tears and knowing this was her last car ride. Do you have any idea how hard that
was...looking back at her in her seat and know...this is it. I have to be honest...I don't
know how I am going to get through this. I know time will help, but I just want my
daughter. I want to hug and kiss her just one more time. I kiss my girls so much
now...you can never tell your loved ones you love them too much. Tell them all day.
Kiss your kids even when they yell at you. I would do anything to have one more
moment back with her. This is why Patrick and I will be fighting for children with
cancer...I am tell you this is hell and a nightmare. I don't want any of you to go through
this. Please join us in our crusade. Please sign up to be one of Payton's Crusaders.
We need to help and all of us together can make a difference. Just by coming to Payton's
fundraisers, the money we raise, the blood donated, it all helps. You all have input in
beating this disease. We cannot do this without you all.
 YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE AND CHANGE THE OUTCOME OF
PEDIATRIC CANCER.
They are doing it with breast cancer...let’s all try to do that for our children,
grandchildren, nieces, and nephews. Below some info you all might think interesting
regarding Pediatric cancer...

Children with cancer continue to be treated primarily with drugs that were developed 20-
30 years ago. Scientifically, researchers have reached an era where new types of `smart
drug's can be developed to treat cancer at a genetic level. These new types of cancer
treatments have started to be developed for adult cancers and have showed great promise
for cure. Children with cancer need these types of new drugs to give them Hope for a
complete cure.

Current debates in both the House and Senate could eliminate such future development of
targeted drugs for children with cancer and other rare diseases. In order to protect biotech
development of such essential biologic products, Candlelighters is encouraging families,
friends, and co-workers to sign the following petition located at:
www.candlelighters.org/petition.stm

A Petition to Congress to Preserve Innovation and Support H.R. 1956, the "Patient
Protection and Innovative Biologic Medicines Act of 2007


Because the survival rate of childhood cancer has not changed in the last decade.


Because treatment for children with cancer has not changed significantly in recent years
and we are eagerly awaiting a major breakthrough.


Because current toxic therapies are not a solution for children with cancer as they cause
lifelong health problems including second cancers.
Because biologic products are among the most promising and effective medicines for the
treatment of serious and life-threatening diseases, like childhood cancer.


Because it is vital that we spur innovation for pharmaceutical companies to invest in the
development of these life-saving drugs.


As supporters of the development of new targeted therapies for children and adolescents
with cancer, we petition Congress to support H.R. 1956, the "Patient Protection and
Innovative Biologic Medicines Act of 2007;" legislation that creates a pathway for
"follow-on" biologics but establishes an appropriate balance between reducing cost,
ensuring safety and providing incentives for innovation.

Please forward to other lists, to friends, families, and colleagues and ask them to sign the
petition as well!

Thank you!

Candlelighters Childhood Cancer Foundation

Thank you for taking the time to read and hopefully sign the petition. I have a "Payton
moment". Today I took the girls to the mall. They have a father/daughter dance coming
up. Anyway, the girls are into "Webkins" (they are stuffed animals that have computer
codes attached to them. You can go on the webkin sight, put in the code and the animal
you purchased comes on the screen. It tells you a little bit about your stuffed animal and
then you can play games on the computer). Anyway, the girls were asking to have one.
They already have enough. I kept saying no and finally Savanna said please can I just
look to see what they have in the store. I told her "fine, but you are not getting one".
Well, the stores also keep the webkins behind the counter because people actually steal
them or purchase all of them to resell them. So the stores are only letting people buy a
certain amount. Anyway, I walked up to the counter and I asked if they had any
webkins...the women said yes, but I am sorry all we have are FROGS. So I bought
two..........I am a mother what can I say. Well, we get home and Savanna pulls up her
frog on the computer. It gives a little paragraph about the frog and then at the end it says
"If it was my birthday I would eat pizza and would want a porcelin tea set"! I never
smiled so much...Payton is still with us. You all have a good night.

Love
Holly
Sunday, June 24, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is Sunday. Well we made it through another week. It is hard to believe that it will
be a month on Tuesday that our dear Payton passed. Last night we went to her favorite
restaurant (Carabbas). It was so hard to tell them we are a party of four. I just wanted to
hear her ask for the bread (she loved their bread). We had our moment of tears. The
girls are doing ok. They are still in camp and love it. I have spent the week trying to get
somewhat organized. I have major paperwork all over the place. It's been a year since I
have been able to go through all the stuff.
 I would like to address comments regarding the Payton Wellness Fund and what we plan
to do this year. We have not been able to become a Foundation because...when you are a
foundation you are unable to have any monies go towards your family. As many of you
know, this has been a difficult year. Families that have children with terminal illnesses
are unable to work. Payton was 24/7 care. She underwent the most chemo/radiation you
could give. She actually had the amounts an adult would have. I hope that gives you all
an idea of how severe her treatments were. The majority of this past year she was not
able to play with her friends or go to school. We are so appreciative of the fundraisers
that occurred to help us keep our heads above water. We had to purchase in November a
minivan. We had a Ford Expedition that was paid off, but I was unable (at 5 feet and 95
lbs) to lift Payton who was paralyzed into the truck safely. I also couldn't lift the
wheelchair in the back without potentially killing myself in the process. So now we have
a car payment. Unfortunately I am explaining this because some individuals made
statements. I don't understand why people say the things they say. But as most of you
know, Patrick and I hold our values at high standards and will not let a few idiots tarnish
our daughters name or our goal of fighting childhood cancer. Someone even made a
statement...there are other children besides Payton who have cancer. Yes you are right
that is why we are fighting so hard to raise money for research. We lived and breathed
hell for a year. I don't want anyone to go through this. Unfortunately my daughter won’t
be able to benefit from our efforts. Dick Vitale and the V Foundation are trying to raise 1
million dollars in Payton's name for childhood cancer research. How awesome is that if
we are able to raise 1 million dollars for research. What difference does it make whose
name is on the grant. Why the anger? Think about breast cancer and the pink ribbon.
Yes there is a name that goes with that, but isn’t it for a great cause? Breast cancer has
come a long way, thanks to a sister who dug deep and said "this is unacceptable...we need
to do something". Well, we are here to say childhood cancer is unacceptable and we
need to do something. Children should not have to have chemo and radiation. Many of
you have asked how we are doing with our medical bills/expenses and how they can help
us. First, thank you so much for thinking of us in that way. The caring that many of you
have showed us touches us so deeply. We cannot wait until we are able to help make a
difference like all of you have shown us. We are hanging in there, but we do continue
to have large medical expenses. We will be starting the process of becoming a
foundation. I hope you understand why we could not last year. It will take a few months
until it is finalized. I have been asked "what can I do" by so many of you. You can help
by coming to our golf outing September 21st and the walk on September 22nd. We need
to fight this disease together. Those who participate in breast cancer functions have
made a difference. We cannot do this without your help. Rally your troops and lets
attack this disease in great numbers...no one’s child should ever have to go through this.
Instead of having childhood cancer on the rise, let’s work to push it down a hill at high
speed. Thanks to all who have stated they will be Payton's Crusaders. We ALL will
make a difference. It may take time and a lot of hard work but we CAN change the
outcome. I hope you all have a good day. If anyone has any suggestions to help raise
money for research, please let us know. All my love to you and thanks to those who are
truly in our corner.

Love and hugs,
Holly and Patrick



Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Hello Everyone,

Today is Tuesday. It has been a month today since Payton has passed away.
Even though she is not physically here with us, we know she is with us spiritually. We
wake up each morning and greet her with "Good morning Payt, I miss and love you". I
know she hears us. I just wanted to write something quick before I leave to take the girls
to camp. Thank you so much for your support after my last update. I even received a ton
of personal emails of support as well. It is a shame that there are people out there that say
negative things, but we are not giving it another thought. We have a mission to do and
will be focused. I have had several people email me regarding a walk in Pittsburgh. We
have not proceeded with one yet. Our life took a huge spin right now, but we love the
idea. Actually our goal would be for a Payton walk in as many states as we can to raise
money for research. If any of you are interested in putting a walk together, just let us
know and we can help you set one up. We will help with t-shirts to the actual process. I
think the only way we can make a difference is to spread this around the country and get
that awareness out there. I am so excited that so many of you would like to do this. I
know this is Payton's mission and she is very proud and thankful for all of your support.
She will help us make a difference. You can also check out what Dick Vitale and the V
Foundation are doing with Payton’s Research Grant by looking at the front page of her
site and clicking on the link. Well I need to get the girls to camp. I will try to get another
update out later today. Make it a great day.

Love
Holly


Thursday, June 28, 2007

Hello Everyone,
Today is Wednesday. Well, we made it through Tuesday. I still cannot believe my little
one has been gone for a month. However, I spoke with someone the other day that made
me feel so much better. And I realized that even though Payton is not physically here,
she is in spirit (and what a SPIRIT)!!! When I view it that way, in my mind I don't feel
that she is completely gone from me...we all talk to her every day. We say good morning
and good night with kisses blown to her. Payton from the beginning of her illness wanted
either a hamster or a rabbit. The doctors told her she couldn't have any until she was
better. We said the same statement. Well, the girls have been on a kick about getting a
hamster for the last few months. Again, we said no, but Patrick told them he would get
them one on a Tuesday. He never specified which Tuesday (he was biding his time).
Anyway, yesterday Patrick and I thought it would be a good idea to get them A
hamster....it was something all of the girls wanted. I can home with two!
 Again, I am just a mother! Sydney's hamster is named cheese and Savanna's hamster is
named marshmallow. How appropriate...food names...right up Payton's alley. Well we
had another Payton's fundraiser meeting last night and it went well. We can’t thank the
people on her committee who are working tirelessly. Let you know more when it gets
closer to the event day (Sept 21 & 22nd).
Thanks to all of you for your support and prayers.

Love
Holly and Patrick


Hello Everyone,

Today is Saturday. My days are becoming harder and harder to deal with. I
used to hate the evenings and love mornings, now it is the opposite. I think every day
that comes and goes are hits of reality for me. I am trying so hard to keep it together and
be strong, but it is getting more difficult. I have so much anger, guilt, sadness that it is
starting to get harder to distinguish one from the other. So many people have told me it
doesn't get better just different as time goes on. I can see that. I don't think there will be
a day that I don't think and wonder about Payton. I know I look at children now and
think of what she would be doing. This is such a nightmare. I wish I could wake up from
this. The girls seem to be doing alright. They received some info from an organization
called "super sibs". They seem to like the packets. Today they have their camp show.
They are so excited to perform the Aristocats. I hope to be able to put their pictures up
on the website. Before I forget, some have asked if we are doing a run this year for our
fundraiser. We unfortunately we got behind schedule and are unable to put the run
together, so this year it will be a walk. We still hope that all of you runners will still help
us and join in the walk. I also wanted to comment on someone’s drawing of Payton, I
loved it! My mind is a bit off these days, so please forgive me for not responding as
quickly as I would like. Thank you again for all of your prayers and support. We need it
right now. I hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

Love
Holly
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Today is Thursday. We hope you all had a nice 4th of July. As you would suspect,
Patrick and I had a hard time with watching the fireworks. However, right before the
fireworks started I reached my hand into my jacket to put Sydney’s hair band away. I felt
something small and pulled out a pink teapot that belongs to Payton's Ariel miniature
play set. At that moment I knew she was there watching them with us. Last year, I
watched the fireworks from Payton's hospital window. Patrick was home alone and the
girls were in Pittsburgh with my mom and dad. Savanna leaned over to me last night and
said "I love you mom and it is so great that we are all together this year"...we just sat and
held the pink teapot. We are all working very hard to put together the golf/walk for
September’s fundraiser. Thank you to all of you who have continued to help us with your
support. We especially want to thank the Vitale family for trying to raise 1 million
dollars towards Pediatric Cancer Research. This grant means so much to us. Not only
because they are putting it in Payton's name, but this grant will hopefully begin the long
road to help other children. We spoke with the Vitale’s earlier this week and they are
continuing to work hard in Payton's name. They are an incredible family to have reached
out to us like they have and this grant will help so many…. just awesome. We are so
inspired by them and so should everyone. If you want to help but are unable to make it to
our September fundraisers, please go to the V Foundation or www.dickvitaleonline.com
website where you can make any donation. Please remember to write your check out to
the V Foundation and specify in your check memo "Payton Wright" in order for your
donation to go to Pediatric Cancer Research Grant in her name. We appreciate all of
your help in our fight. I hope you all have a wonderful day.


All our love
Holly

I want to say as well that we can’t thank all the people who have been so supportive
throughout this past year and continue to be. Many of you have been working tirelessly
to put together events and work so hard at keeping Payton’s spirit alive! Thank
you…Thank you.
Love you all,
Patrick



Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Hello Everyone,

Today is Tuesday. Every Tuesday I automatically say the number of weeks it
has been since Payton has passed. I don't know why I continue to do that for it brings so
much sadness. I really don't know how to explain what this has been like for Patrick and
me. When I look at little ones that were the same age as Payton, it kills me to think
what we had to put her little body through. These kids not only look small they are
small. I miss everything about Payton. I think I am still in shock about this entire
year. I can not believe that this happened to our daughter...I can not believe that we had
to plan her funeral. I was not supposed to bury my baby. Cancer took so much away
from our family. Not only our precious little girl, but the innocence of our older girls.
Cancer put challenges for Patrick and I. We have had to work so hard to keep our
marriage strong. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful husband, but we are both
hurting and it gets difficult to help him when I can't even help myself. The financial
aspects have been hard as well. No matter what we put Payton first. We both needed to
be with her and take care of her. Our time was needed for our children this past year...not
for anything else. We work daily on rebuilding our life again. Payton is still and always
will be part of our new life. We talk to her and the girls still include her in their
playtime. I just miss the physical part...I wish I could give her a hug and read her a
story. She loved going to Little Bookworms book store. It was one of her favorite
places. It is getting harder for me to write. I cry more and more and at this point I can't
see the screen very well. However, before I go I want to tell you a story that a very dear
friend told me about...it is a Payton moment. Our dear friend Tina wanted to share this
with us. Tina is NOT good at flying on airplanes. She said she prays non- stop from the
minute she gets into the airport to sitting on the plane to landing at her destination.
Anyway, she was leaving Florida after Payton's funeral to fly back to Pittsburgh. As
always she was very scared and was silently praying while she was getting on the plane.
She was looking for her seat and when she found it...in the center of the seat was a purple
heart (it was the craft foam that kids use in their art work). She picked it up and thanked
Payton. She had a connecting flight, so when they stopped in NC she went to buy a
magazine. Right next to the magazine that she was buying were two beautiful frog
bracelets (she is a mom and bought both for our girls). As they went to get back on the
plane, Tina told her husband she was very cold and didn't have a jacket. As she
approached her seat, there in the middle of her seat was a purple blanket. No other seats
had one but hers. She said she felt Payton was just watching over her that night. It all
may sound so silly, but for us it is so comforting. Thank you Tina for that story...that was
how our Payton was...thoughtful and caring. She always worried about others. Thank
you all as well for your continued prayers and support. We are getting through our days
one at a time. It is very difficult for us. The loss of a child is so hard. Our hurt is
incredibly deep.

All our love
Holly and Patrick



Monday, July 16, 2007

Hello everyone. It has been awhile since I have written an update. Holly is usually the
writer in the family. I think it has been very therapeutic for her to write down and
express her feelings this past year. I have not done this as often and she thinks I need
some help dealing with Payton’s loss. She is probably right about that, but being a
typical guy, I think I can handle it on my own. Well here to say that is easier said than
done. This past year I tried so hard to ―fix‖ Payton . I found the best doctors, the best
hospitals, the best care, and medicines. Holly and I worked around the clock caring for
Payton. We spent countless nights at All Children’s hospital in St. Pete and at Duke.
The emotional and even physical toll it took on us both was tremendous and continues to
be so. I was not prepared for how very hard it was going to be now that Payton is gone.
Holly and I seem to just wander around with blank stares in our eyes. The house is so
quiet without her and we miss hearing those ―Payton sayings‖ like; I’m hungry here, or
FINE, or is anyone going to feed me, or just a simple I love you daddy. I would give
anything to hear that one more time. I continue to say I love you Payton everyday and
can’t stop thinking about her. I wonder how long I will feel so sad. I saw something this
past Friday that really made me think that I will never ever stop feeling the way I do. I
tried my best not to burst out into tears in front of so many people, but later that night
with just a few family and friends I lost it a bit. I was at a golf outing for Muscular
Dystrophy that is put on every year for I think the past 13 years or so. One of my good
friends Brian and his partners put it on every year. Anyway at the end Dustin got up to
speak to everyone which I think he does every year. Dustin lost his brother to Muscular
Dystrophy I believe 13 years ago. What really hit me hard was how emotional he was
trying to speak about his brother after 13 years of his passing and why they do what they
do every year to raise money for their cause. Right then I knew that I will never get over
this feeling of sadness and it was very difficult moment for me. I left there ready to go to
a party afterwards and I just couldn’t go and be around people. I want to say that I am so
proud and honored to know the people I can call friends and how I admire someone like
Dustin who can continue to do what they do in the name of their loved ones. I also truly
admire the Brian’s of the world who work tirelessly for their friends causes. There are so
many family and friends of Holly and mine that work hard at raising awareness and
money for us, the V Foundation, Hospice, you name it, just because they want to do
something for us and in Payton’s name. There are so many that I could start listing them
all and I would still be writing hours from now. These people know who they are and we
thank them so much. But really how do you thank those people? This is something that I
think about constantly and have a very hard time dealing with. I am really having a tough
time with outpouring of support from so many. Not that I don’t appreciate it, it is just
hard for me to understand why us. I don’t know why, but it is very emotional for me.
Love and compassion are powerful emotions that I never knew until going through this
can absolutely change the way someone can view the world. I think that is what I see
differently now in people, because I totally see and admire so many for what they do for
others and not themselves. We are changed forever and I know we will never be the
same people we once were. I am getting some comfort right now as I write this, it is
somewhat therapeutic as Holly has said to me it is. I also hear Holly, Savanna and
Sydney play a game in Payton’s room. They just love sitting in her room playing board
games and talking to Payton. That is about as good as it gets right now. I will take it.
One day at a time. I know I will get through this for my family, but I also know that it
will be one of the most difficult things I ever do.
In closing, I want to thank so many of you for the cards we receive every day. We just
can’t thank you all enough for your support. I truly mean it and love to all of you.
Love
Patrick
Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is Tuesday evening. As usual I woke up stating the week since Payton's passing. I
find it very difficult to say the word death. I read the poem in the guestbook regarding
"My mom tells lies". Yes, I tell them every moment of every day. I am asked all the
time how I am doing or how Patrick is doing and my statement is always the same "we're
doing alright". Patrick and I try to smile through our pain. Well to be honest we aren't. I
cry all the time and I feel so lost. I know I am still in shock. You would think that after
almost 2 months (if you can believe it has been that long) that I am still in shock. I look
at my little girls pictures and think what happened. How could this happen to her to us to
our family. This past year seems like such a blur. I just want one more moment with
her...I say to myself over and over "Oh my god...Oh my god..because I can't. I try to
remember that when I look at Savanna and Sydney. It is so hard to pull yourself away
from your heartache. I don't want to miss out anymore on Savanna and Sydney's life. I
try to focus on them and give them as many hugs/kisses I can...but it takes effort. Don't
get me wrong, I love my girls and I am so sad over what they have and are going through.
I don't want to miss out on their life, but my mind and heart is crushed. It takes so much
effort to pull myself into the present moment. I can see how someone can go crazy. We
have a meeting with a grief counselor on Thursday. They are from Hospice. I hope it
helps. There really are no words to describe how we are feeling and doing. We are just
trying to make it through each day...it is difficult to take care of ourselves because our
first priority is making sure the girls are ok. I miss my old life so much. I miss having
all three girls around me, I miss the girls playing together and having their little fights. I
miss normal. I miss going to bed without stress, worry, sadness, heartache. I miss being
happy. To be honest, no matter what anyone tells me, I will never have any of that back.
  Our family lost so much due to cancer...we lost not only our precious Payton but large
pieces of ourselves. I don't mean to make this update sound so depressing...but I thought
I would let you know how we really are doing. I saw a picture of a little boy who was in
need of a bone marrow transplant. There was not a story attached to the picture, but the
unfortunate thing for me was I already knew the kind of story he had. When you see a
picture of a child who has cancer...I just want to stress that there is more to their story
than their cute little round faces. They endure so much. I know I have shared our story
with you all this past year, but there is alot I didn't tell. I could not put into words the
pain or feelings or describe her wounds. I could not put into words the sleepless nights
due to worry or her care. I can not put into words really what it is was like to watch your
child die. It will be with me for the rest of my life. To watch your child take her last
breath...as I said there are no words. Well, it is late and I need to go kiss my children
goodnight. As I hope you all know, I thank you so much for being such great friends and
supporters. We need your shoulders to lean on and you all have been so wonderful for
sharing them with us.

Love to all
Holly and Patrick
July 25, 2007

Hello everyone. We are in the process of putting together a new website for Payton and
it is in the beginning stages so please bear with us. You can still get to the site from
www.portercs.com/payton but now you can go to www.paytonwright.org From here you
can listen to Payton’s Song that was written and sung by Dan at our church, Harvest
United Methodist. We just love the song and I hope you all will as well. Soon the site
will be all set up and functioning, so like I said bear with us as the kind people at Net
Wise Tech are putting the finishing touches on the site.
We are doing OK….that is about it. We spent some time with Pastor’s Steve and
Katherine today and they helped us out a lot. Even though there are really no answers
that will truly help, we are glad they are here for us as well as so many others. We
continue to receive letters of support and Mr Lee sent us one that helped us in so many
ways. We don’t really understand why Payton has touched so many lives, but she has
and we feel so blessed. Mr Lee said in his letter that ―people who understand need no
explanation, people who don’t no explanation will suffice‖.
Thank you all again for your thoughts and prayers and we will be in touch soon. I hope
you all enjoy Payton’s Song.

Love to all,
Patrick and Holly


Thursday, July 26, 2007

Hello Everyone,

Today is Thursday. It is around 3 am and there is no sleeping in our house. As I just
started to write, in walks Patrick...he is up as well. We had Pastors Steve and Katherine
over yesterday to help us. I had lots of questions that unfortunately no one can answer. I
felt that we all prayed so much for Payton. I do feel that our prayers were answered by
her not suffering anymore. As I have stated over and over I know she is doing fine.
She is healed, happy and running just like I only wanted for her. I think my questions
have been, "god is greater than cancer, why did he not heal her"? I don't want to hear
that I didn't pray enough. I alone prayed non-stop for my child. I guess I will just have
lots of questions when it is my turn to go. I've been saying that I will live a very long
time because god doesn't want to hear my mouth when I get to heaven. We are all doing
ok. The girls don't want to talk too much about it...Savanna says it hurts too much.
Sydney just gets tears in her eyes and says she just misses Payton...don't we all. I
converted Payton's room into a play room and the girls love it. It has been great to see
Savanna, Sydney and their friends go into Payton's room and play. I know Payton loves
having them in there. I have been offered by a friend of my neighbor Laura to have
Payton's clothes turned into two blankets for the girls. I thought that was a great idea. I
couldn't part with her clothing and this way the girls can have her stuff wrapped around
them. I hope you were able to get onto Payton's other site to listen to Dan's song. We are
in the process to get this other site up and running, so bear with us. (read the above
update) We wanted to get the song out to you all. We have met so many talented people.
Dan did a great job with this song. I also received a beautiful pencil drawing of Payton
from Mena C. Mena, there are no words to describe this picture. You are so talented, I
hope you understand that. Thank you so much for thinking of us and spending time
drawing that picture. It is framed and will be placed in our room. Thank you again...I
really hope you know the talent you have. I also wanted to thank Mr. Lee from All
Children's for your letter you sent. Mr. Lee...I hope you know how much Payton loved
you. Mr. Lee was the first person Payton would see when she went to the clinic at All
Children's Hospital. She would always bring him some sort of candy and would talk
about food with him (her favorite subject). When we were at Duke (and even at her
worst moments) she would tell the staff at Duke that they didn't prick her finger the right
way...they needed to do it like Mr. Lee. She would look up at me and state "they are
doing it all wrong...Mr. Lee doesn't do that, they need to do it this way". At one point the
person that was dealing with Payton asked her to explain how Mr. Lee does things so that
Payton would get off her back! I have to laugh when I think of my Payton. Patrick and I
would always state (even before Payton got sick) that we didn't need to worry about
Payton...even though she was the little sister, we felt she was the one that would protect
the older girls. She would let people have it! I always wonder now, what she would have
been like as an adult. She definitely would have gotten her point across, no doubting
that! Since my mind has been like mush, I believe there is a blood drive at Harvest
Methodist Church the first Sunday in August. I have been in contact with a lot of
families who are dealing with sick children. They can use your help. Please continue to
donate your blood. There is a need for blood and platelets. Thank you all so much for
your continued support. Even at our lowest moments you all have been there to help us
and keep us standing. It takes alot these days and we really appreciate your kind words,
encouragement and advice. I hope you all have a good day tomorrow.


www.paytonwright.org is the new site that is being put together and Payton’s song.

All our love,
Holly and Patrick



Monday, July 30, 2007


Hello Everyone,

Today is Sunday. Well we have a new website for Payton. It is paytonwright.org. We
want to thank Stewart York and Randy for putting this site together. It looks great.
Patrick and I (as well as several of our committee members) spent a great deal of time
last week tying up loose ends with the events in September. We hope to have the flyers
out for distribution this week. We can’t thank our family/friends from Pittsburgh to
Florida enough for all of their effort and time in putting these events together. I don't
think Patrick and I have been able to be much help. As much as we try, we are very
scattered mentally and dazed. I know I have been told to don't expect much out of
ourselves, but it is starting to get frustrating. We both are so "out there" and it takes all of
our effort just to stay focused. I hope you get a chance to see the tree dedication pictures
on the new website. A special thanks to the Homan family for initiating the idea and our
community (SMR) to putting it together. Natalie from SMR spoke at the dedication in
which she told another "Payton moment". She said she wasn't aware of Payton's liking of
frogs, until she was introduced to her website. Well, one night Natalie and her boyfriend
(who is a cancer survivor) was sitting out on their patio holding hands and praying for
Payton. All of a sudden a frog jumps onto her hand. Natalie stated she would have been
afraid, but the frog just looked at her for a moment than just jumped off. Another
story...we had Pastors Steve and Katherine over last week. As you know, we are just
struggling with too many questions that unfortunately can never be answered. Anyway,
as Pastors Steve and Katherine were leaving, Pastor Steve said he has a "Payton
moment". He said after the funeral, he and Katherine were going to a conference. His
mother was staying with their children. The following Tuesday his mother gets up and
prepares the coffee maker and goes back into the bedroom. Pastor Katherine stresses that
no doors have been open at all. When Pastor Steve’s mother returns to the kitchen right
beside the coffee pot was a nice size frog. His mother couldn't believe it (she did not
know about Payton and frogs). I said to both Pastors, "do you understand the
meaning?"....Payton is wondering what you are doing...why are you drinking coffee
instead of tea! These frog stories make me laugh...if nothing else, these stories remind
me of the type of kid my Payton was. She was a free spirit, fun and a comedian. As
much as I am hurting, I know my little girl is fine. I just have to keep reminding myself
of her being healed and happy. I couldn't give her that here...as much as Patrick and I
tried we couldn't make her better.The girls are doing ok. They just finished with vacation
bible camp and had a great time. Our church is awesome. They had about 250 kids from
K-5. Savanna can't wait to be a camp councilor next year. As far as the girls dealing
with the loss of their sister...again they are ok. Savanna states that she doesn't want to
talk about it because it hurts too much. They are still seeing a grief counselor every
week. This counselor will also go to their school this fall to work with them. Sydney is
the same. We have been trying to get her to go into her church Sunday school class, but
her eyes fill with tears all the time. She finally told Patrick and me that it hurts too much
to be at church. Sydney would ALWAYS go to Payton's Sunday school class with
Payton. She wanted to be with Payton and help her if Payton needed it (even though
Payton was fine). As usual, Sydney took on the role as Payton's second mother. To go to
a different classroom just makes Sydney cry. So we take her in the sanctuary with us.
However, after a week at bible camp, Sydney went for the first time to Sunday school this
past Sunday. We are still taking things a day at a time and I don't see that changing for a
while. I hope you all have a great week.



Love to all,

Holly and Patrick
Wednesday, August 1st

Hello Everyone,

Today is Wednesday. It is around 6:30 am and I am getting ready to go to work.
Actually, I am taking a two day class regarding the new paperwork for therapists. It feels
strange to go back to work. Unfortunately I will not be going back to the same school.
My company moved me to another school only a few miles from here. I am looking
forward to getting back to work, but I am still nervous. I have been away from it for over
a year...I pray I will get my head together and do a good job. The girls have been doing
ok. They will be starting back to school Aug 20th. Patrick will be in Pittsburgh for
Payton's Golf outing. My mom will down here helping me get the girls off to school,
because I will also be starting back the same day. The hospice grief counselor will be
following the girls throughout the year at their school. However, Savanna stated
yesterday that she doesn't know why she needs to have anyone work with her because
"there is nothing wrong with me". I told her I know but dad and I want to make sure you
are doing ok. As a 10 year old she comes back with "I'll let you know if I'm not doing
ok". I swear I feel like Payton shoots down and talks through the girls! Oh, before I
forget this Sunday (Aug 5th) is a blood drive at Harvest Methodist Church from 8:30 to
12:30. I know we are not in need of blood products anymore, but there are MANY
MANY people that do. Please help and give blood this weekend. I have flash backs of
us sitting in the clinic for two days because there wasn't enough platelets available for
Payton. I know our flyers have not gone out yet, but we are still planning on September
21st for the golf outing and September 22nd for the walk. We will have activities after
the walk for the family. Patrick and I continue to take it a day at a time. I just look at my
little Payton's face and miss her. I miss hugging her and talking to her. I still can't
believe this happened. Well, I must get going. I hope you all make it a good day.
Thank you for your continued guestbook entries. I hope you all like the new website.

Love to all,
Holly and Patrick


Payton’s new site is up and running. There won’t be any more updates at this site they
will be on her new one. Go to the blog (updates) link on her new site to see the latest
updates.
www.paytonwright.org

				
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