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Part 1 The Breaking Up

It was freezing cold on the evening of December 24, 2005. Many adults were carousing, laughing,
and talking about events that had happened to them recently in a colonial mansion which was not
too far from the city. This abode was covered by snow, and hail was slowly falling down onto the
roof, making the ground in snow-white ice. In front of the house, there was a large whirling snow
drift and three stark silhouettes of people, sharp against the snow. They seemed to be having an
argument because sometimes there was a loud sound of shouting and harsh words coming from

 “I AM NOT ANYTHING YOU THOUGHT I WAS, Raymond,” yelled the girl indignantly, she stooped
and whimpered.
 “There’s no need to behave like this Qian, please calm down,” He said and put his hand on the
girl’s shoulder. “This relationship can’t go further you know,” He continued, keeping his eyes on
the girl.

He stopped talking for a while and stood there silently. Tavia who was Qian’s friend and had
known Raymond Lam for almost ten years before Qian had met him, was standing next to him,
listening to their dialogue quietly. She seemed to declare that there was in some reason, but she
had been dissuaded from saying anything.

 “Tell me why, or is it because of Tavia?” She glared with angry big black eyes at her friend. “You
guys betrayed me!!! I never ever thought my best friend would betray me and take my boyfriend, I
know that you love him too, but he is now my beloved. Tavia I hate YOU!!” She said quietly, but
with loathing and malice.

“Sorry, I didn’t want this to happen, yet there is a reason. Please forget him and forgive me, but
he’s no longer love you,” Tavia replied regretfully

“Are you asking me to forgive you? Not once will I forget what you have done to me nor will I
excuse you, you……” She spat the words furiously and interjectionally at her former friend.

 “You know what? Let break it up, Qian that’s enough,” Ray butted in. He brutally revealed the
untruth. “The person whom I love is Tavia and not you, she’s better than you in everything. I don’t
love you at all. I just wanted to have sex with you since you’re elegant, ok? Also, my friend said I
couldn’t have you as my girlfriend, so we bet and now I won!!”

 “You pervert!!!!…..” She clouted him hard and ran away while tears were rolling over her red
cheek. She tried to run as fast as she could to avoid hearing those terrible words from the person
she heartedly loved. “It’s not true, I don’t believe this. You lie to me, YOU LIE TO ME!!!” She

He followed the back of the slender body as she was sprinting away, and talked to himself with in
a low voice that sounded full of remorse, “I’m sorry; I had to do it because I really love you, Qian. I
wish you could find someone who is better than me and marry him, so I can redeem myself from
saying these words to you.”
 “Hey!! Are you ok? Are you sure this will help her to forget you? I think it was too harsh, I’m afraid
that she will commit suicide because of this,” Tavia conferred worriedly to Raymond Lam after
Qian had gone. She appeared to be ambivalent if Qian would do this

 “No, she won’t. I know her very well, she’s independent. I also have pondered about this
beforehand. Don’t worry she will just feel absolutely heartbroken, for it’s a sudden breaking up. I
know she will concede this later on. By the way, thanks for helping me and not disclosing
everything, but because of this, you guys will be no longer friends, I’m really sorry about this Tavia.
It really is a big muddle” He apologized to Tavia

“It doesn’t matter Ray, if she knew you loved her that much….”
“No!! Do not tell her anything about my illness or whatsoever, let her slowly forget me or you can
find another date for her, it’s my last wish ever.” He pleaded with Tavia
“But…..what the hell….watch out Raymond! Your nose is bleeding again!” She alerted him.

He wiped his nose on his finger. Tavia was right; the blood was running from his nostril onto the
ground of the white lawn which was now turning red. It fell down over and over again. He looked
paler than he was. His white parka was now spotted with many fresh blood stains. Gore, it must be
gore; it looked like he had just committed a murder and had blood of the victim stained all over his
shirt. Tavia took out a handkerchief and gave it to him. He was grateful to her and tried to wipe
the blood off, but he couldn’t get rid of it as it incessantly and badly hemorrhaged.

“It’s bleeding continuously Ray. Please wait here and I will call an ambulance for you”
“Oh gosh…No Raymond, no” She moaned. He started slipping into unconsciousness and collapsed
on the ground while Tavia was making a phone call to an emergency hospital.

Part 2: Raymond’s Dairy

It was a lonely evening on March 4th, three months after the breaking up. The clock struck one, a
wee-small-hour of the morning, while silvery moon was brightening in the middle of midnight-blue
sky. Darkness overlaid everywhere in the city, where there was no sound. Nobody was talking;
nobody was doing anything because everyone was sleeping. However, if we behold carefully, we
would see there was a small light coming out from a room on the fourth floor of an apartment
building. A fair-complexion girl was sitting on a chair, near an aluminum desk, next to the window
in her bed room. Tear were being shed slowly from her eyes. She looked like she had had a ghastly
day. She was holding a book which she had been given by Tavia Yeung – her two-faced friend who
betrayed her and took Raymond Lam. Tavia told her that Raymond was dead 3 months ago.

“How could he die so suddenly? I thought he and she were about being happy together. Also what
is this? What does it contain? Why had Tavia given it to me and told me to read it? I’d better read
it now” Qian thought

December 25th, 2004
Today I met an elegant girl on the street. She was drop-dead-gorgeous; she had a nice smile and
cool big eyes. She accidentally hit my shoulder and dropped her books which we both picked up
immediately after the incident. It was such a lucky coincidence that day!
December 30th, 2004
I met her again on the same street. Now I know she walks along this road to her house


“What’s this, Ray’s dairy? So he implied the pronoun she to me?” She contemplated. She kept on
reading; however, she skipped some pages.

April 16th, 2005
Today I decided to confess to her that I love her after I had been dating with her for many months.
She said she would give me time to prove if I honestly love her or not. She didn’t say she loved me,
but I know she does. I was really ecstatic yo. Now I can’t even describe how I felt.

“It’s the day that he told me he loved me, and I was content too by hearing those words from his
mouth” she leered to the notebook.


November 07th, 2005
My nose is beginning to shed blood severely now. I don’t know why, but it has never been as bad
as this before. The doctor said my illness was gone, yet what is this? I hope it wasn’t. I will have to
go to see the doctor tomorrow.

November 08th, 2005
I do not think I could hope for anything better now. The doctor said he was sorry, but he had made
an error in his examination of my illness. It wasn’t GONE. He added that he will do anything to help
me, yet I know I am gradually walking to my death.

December 1st, 2005
The doctor keeps saying he will help me, but I grasped that I won’t be able to live for more than a
month. I’m getting weaker and weaker now of course. Assuredly the end cannot be far, and I will
meet my god soon. OH Qian, how can I forget her? She has started to ask me what is going on with
me. She said I have been acting weird. I couldn’t answer her question, nor will I let her know I am
going to die soon. I have to find a way to make her forget me completely!

December 25th, 2005
I’m staying in a hospital now, and It’s freezing cold outside. Eventually I broke up with Qian. I know
she felt totally despondent, and so was I; however I had to do it. I know she and I truly love each
other but it could be the Fates. The Fates, she allowed us to meet and now she…I don’t really want
to blame anyone. Good bye to all my friends, good bye my lovely girl, Qian Li. It seems like a pity
but this will be my last dairy entry. My God, I’m coming!

Tears slowly rolled from the girl’s eyes uncontrollably. Outside the window, the sun was rising and
it showed that a new day had started.

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