; Kindness
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                              The 5th Essential Virtue
                 Demonstrating concern of the welfare and feelings of others.
Acts of Kindness are what build civility, humanness and morality and because these acts are
based on intensions of doing good rather than harm, kindness is an essential virtue of moral in-
telligence. Nurturing this virtue may well be the best way to protect our children experiencing
the pain of peer harassment and improve their chances of living a kinder and more moral world.
Children who achieve kindness have a force from deep inside that drives them to do the right
thing. Warmhearted children are kind because they are concerned about the other person’s feel-
ings. As parents and educators, we must work consciously to replace negative messages with
good intentions of the Kindness virtue. Kind people are kind with no expectation that they will
get something in return.
                               Kindness Inspires Kindness
There is a crisis of Kindness which has 4 basic causes;
1. Lack of modeling by parents
2. Not enough encouragement of kindness
3. Influence of unkind peers
4. Desensitization to Unkindness

There are three teachable steps you can use to build kindness in Children
Step 1:
1. Consciously model kindness by demonstrating kind behaviors. Improve yourself and
   then be sure to tell your children how good it feels.
2. Expect and demand kindness spelling it out loud and clear that others must be treated
3. Teach the meaning of kindness by discussing the specifics of being kind. For example
   saying that, “kindness means you are concerned about other people, kind people help
   someone in need, kind people never expect anything in return and they you need to be
   kind when others aren’t.”
4. Play the Watch Kindness game; when in a place filled with people look fo rways kind
   people show their concern for others.

A Tip for pointing out acts of Kindness
       T - Tell who was the kindness recipient and describe his / her need
       I - Identify what Kindness was said or done
       P - Point out how the kind gesture made a difference
Step 2: Establish a zero tolerance for unkindness.
1. Target unkind behaviour and not the child. Make sure the child understands what the un-
   kind behaviour you object to and why you disapprove.
2. Help your child empathize with the victims feelings. The child needs to know how their
   actions effect another person.
3. Decide on a new behaviour with which to replace the unkind act. Take the time to talk to
   the child so they understand.
4. Give your child the opportunity to make amends. By making amends the child learns to ac-
   cept responsibility for their actions.

4 things you can do to stamp out Unkindness
1. Make no “Put Down” posters
2. Create no a “Put Down” pledge (eg Today I will look for good in others)
3. Make a turn around rule (that was a put down so you need to do a put up
4. Penalize put downs (money jar or work it off)

6 Ways to Help Children Counter Unkind Treatment
1. Assert Yourself
2. Ignore it
3. Question the insult
4. Use ”I want”
5. Agree with the teaser
6. Make fun of the teasing

Step 3:
Encourage Kindness and point out its positive effect. The more children practice doing kind
behaviours , the better they feel about themselves and the better others will feel about them.
Doing kind deeds is simply one of the best ways to enhance self esteem.

3 Ideas for Helping Children Practise Doing Kinds Deeds
1. Create a kind heart centerpiece
2. Assign secret kindness pals
3. Make a giving tree

Actions Parents can take to combat unkindness
1. Monitor you child’s media selection
2. Make sure you are a positive role model
3. Take an active stand against cruelty
4. Look for teachable moments
5. Take time with your children to show, and explain how to be kind
6. Look for ways for your child to be kind (children learn form doing)

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