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Sit down dinner satire

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					                            Sam Shore        February 11, 2008        English 3


                                           Why Sit Down?

        A fourth form student at the Portsmouth Abbey School walked into advisory on a cool fall day.

Once he sat down he realized that there was sit down dinner that night. He is all distraught because

there is nothing on earth more of a waste of time, at least in his mind. He asked “Why does sit down

even exist? It’s such a waste of time!” The rest of the advisees agreed with the statement.


        His advisor replied with “I understand the frustration, but it is a necessary evil, one must endure

it.” The advisees didn’t understand, and asked her to clarify. She said “Sit down dinner is for the school

as one to get together and strengthen the bonds between the student and also between the faculty and

students.” The student replied “Well, ok. That may be the objective but it doesn’t work, often the

seating arrangements are bogus, none of my friends ever seem to be at my table, it’s disappointing.”

Once again the other students agreed. The advisor said “Yea you may be right, but think about the

teachers, there is only one of us at the table, do you really think that we want to be there talking to

you.” The student replied with “Well, no, but therefore more reason to completely get rid of sit down

dinner all together, and have a regular buffet dinner.”


        The advisor thought to herself for a minute. She was thinking that he has a really good point,

and then wondered why sit down dinner still existed. Then the student started to talk again “I heard

that only two teachers actually like it anyway, but inconveniently those two people are the headmaster

and the assistant headmaster. Besides the monks, they have the most power in the school. So as long

as a they are in office, there is almost no chance of having sit down dinner abolished.” The advisor knew

he was right and said “Yes, you are completely correct, and there is nothing you can do about it. I wish

there were something that somebody could do to rid the Abbey of this travesty! But since there is not,
we have to live with it. Just like we have to live with the dress code and Saturday classes, but as you

know, you signed up for this school, then chose to come here, so therefore it is a necessary evil!” After

a long pause the advisor asked “So, other than that, how’s life?”

				
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