SpringSummer 2005 by niusheng11


									 Spring/Summer 2005
                                                            the bay area

                                         homebirth collective newsletter

                 Birth Story                                                          Lessons Learned
                 Leslie Sanders                                                          by Gal Adam
     The Friday before Jordan was born, Mom and Brian and I                    Fifteen months ago, my daughter Dahlia came into the world
went to lunch at Scharfenberger (the chocolate place). Yummy              after an unexpectedly long and hard 38+ hours. She came out in the
food! Then Mom and I did some last minute shopping. That after-           hospital, instead of in our bedroom, with the help of an epidural I
noon we did some gardening in the backyard. Friday night we               surprisingly chose myself after laboring hard at home for 32 hours.
held an impromptu get-together with the neighbors, grilling dinner        Our midwife Leah delivered Dahlia, and my husband David pulled
outside, sitting on the deck, then finally singing around a fire in the   her out from me, while the doctor stepped back and watched. We
boca.                                                                     waited as long as possible before cutting her umbilical cord, they
     Saturday we didn’t do much, but planned pesto for dinner.            saved the placenta for us in a plastic container, and Dahlia latched
After dinner, I had a cup of coffee (!) ice cream, hoping it wouldn’t     on right away. Afterwards, Leah and the doctor discussed the best
keep me awake (it was 9:00 pm). I wanted to show Mom some                 way to stitch up my tears. I asked them not to wash Dahlia, and I
photos on the computer, so I sat down on the green ball and started       brought my own natural diaper for her. They took no blood from her,
clicking through months of photos. I started getting cramps! I            because our midwives would be doing her heel test on her fifth day
thought it was the caffeine in the ice cream,                                                   of life. I asked for dinner, and announced that

                                                         Our	children	
causing my metabolism to go up, and it was just                                                 we would be going home that night, as soon as
my stomach… I didn’t say anything.                                                              the pediatrician had looked her over.
     I went to the bathroom, thinking some-                                                          I hadn’t written a birth plan, because we
thing is definitely going on, and Elisabeth Reed
called, just to check in. I really couldn’t focus
on what I was saying, but I told her I would
                                                         are	our	best	                          weren’t supposed to be in the hospital, but I was
                                                                                                able to negotiate how things would go – and
                                                                                                felt blessed that they respected my requests. By
let her know when the baby was born (in a
few days, I assumed). But then I just had to lie
down, which I did on the couch with a watch.
                                                          teachers                              midnight, we were home in our own bed with
                                                                                                the tiniest little member of our family sleeping
                                                                                                peacefully between us. We couldn’t believe that
Mom asked me what was going on, and I said I’d been having                she was here… to stay. We all slept for seven uninterrupted hours.
contractions for half an hour! I paged Cindy and told her that my         We had a glorious birth.
contractions were 7 minutes apart and regular for the past hour. She           Before hard labor began the morning of the day before Dahlia
said, “That’s great news!” She was at a party in Marin, and said          was born, I had no idea I was so strong. I began early labor on
she would leave right away, but she had to drop Elia off at home          Sunday morning, and when my painful contractions began on
on the way here. She came as fast as she could, which still took an       Monday morning, I felt ready for anything, but in the back of my
hour… she had meant to call again to confirm that we still needed         mind I expected that my labor would be quick – because both of
her, but she didn’t, good thing.                                          my mother’s labors had been quick. I didn’t realize it would be
     Meanwhile, while Cindy and Robin were making their way               another day and a half before Dahlia came out. I had no idea that she
here, Brian and I were furiously (between contractions) trying to         would be born in the hospital and not in our bedroom. I had no idea
1) get Mom and Melody to go to bed (it was 10:00 pm); and 2) get          that my labor pains would be almost exclusively in my lower back
our room ready for the birth. A contraction would start, I would          (ouch!), and that it would hurt for what felt like an endless stream of
lie down on the bed, he would rub my back, hold my hand, etc.             hours that blended into each other, day into night into day.
It would end and we would both jump up and continue prepar-                    I could not have predicted that it would be me who suggested I
ing. We went back and forth like this for 20 minutes or so, until         go to the hospital to get an epidural, so that I could relax and finish
we had changed the sheets on the bed, with the plastic liner and          dilating from eight centimeters. I was ready to push my baby out
a clean set underneath; laid a cut-up shower curtain on the floor         before another day and a half went by, and I have a feeling that after
between the bed and the bathroom; brought in the kids’ table for          spending so much time in the birth canal, Dahlia was ready to come
a staging surface for Cindy and her stuff; got the trash can handy,       out, too. I got to a very definitive point – I was done with the pain,
and the plastic-lined box for wet sheets, etc.; brought out the home-     and I was ready to meet my child. I learned that I am capable of
birth supply kit and put it on the table; turned down the lights and      enduring incredible amounts of pain with great calm, endurance and
changed my clothes; got clothes and diaper and blankets ready for         determination. And I learned that I don’t always have to. I learned
the baby. Surely there was more. I was barking orders followed by         how much was enough for me. Just as she was entering the world,
“a contraction’s starting!” at which point I would again lie down         Dahlia was already my greatest teacher. What I know now is that
and Brian would do his thing.                                             Dahlia’s birth was the just the beginning of the three greatest lessons
                                                                          I learn every day from my daughter.
                                                Continued on page 4                                                         Continued on page 3
Page 2                                                                                           Bay Area Homebirth Collective
                                         We l c o m e	 to	 t h e	 Wo r ld !
12/02/04   Ruby Maayan to Lori Freedman & Ori Tzvieli                       02/20/05   Maya Lee to Jaimee Rungsitiyakorn & Dennis Lee
12/03/04   Ava Isabelle to Greta Cohn & Dale Gill                           02/23/05   Skyla Parris to Rowena Richie & Ed Frauenheim
12/13/04   Rylyn Sage to Karuna Jaggar & Dave Otten                         02/25/05   Zara Paloma to Amelia Ranche & Davide Ferretti
12/19/04   Bluford “Blu” Daniel to Allison Van Norman                       02/27/05   Catalina Patricia to Gwen Cooke & John Lombardo
           & Dave Miller                                                    02/27/05   Elio Jonas to Melissa Standen & Erik Bloom
01/04/05   Madeleine Grace to Laura & Terrance Heath                        03/04/05   Michael to Jessica & Peter Sexton
01/05/05   Claire Elizabeth to Erika and Greg Tansey                        03/04/05   Nicholas to Kerry Hodson & Alex Podosky
01/06/05   Salmon Nansson to Nan Eastep & Stewart Port                      03/06/05   Dragan William Rein to Julija Learie & Nicholas
01/07/05   Hazel Rosalia Radmar to Elise Brewin                                        McDowell
01/09/05   Theodore to Beth Maher & Tom Darci                               03/12/05   Blue William Hummel to Lisa & Evan Geisinger
01/13/05   Emiliano to Karen Zapata & John Avalos                           03/12/05   Mahalia Paz to Golda Sargento & Dennis Kim
01/13/05   Emma Noelani to Margaret Tappan &                                03/02/05   Keana to Sarah & Luke Hokama
           Michael Johnson                                                  03/23/05   Aoife Rose to Delia Moran & Terry Keenan
01/13/05   Leif Xaviar to Kristan Trunzo & Bowie Johnson                    03/24/05   Bastien Maxwell to Andrea Vander Pluym &
01/14/05   Adiel to Tosha Schore and David Avidor                                      Max Brace
01/16/05   Lucas Miguel to Alison Tate & Pablo Undurraga                    03/27/05   Gabriel Frost to Teri Strelchun & Matt Lanier
01/18/05   Kaliope Cadence to Briana & John Waters                          03/27/05   Juaquin to Melanie Linebaugh & Rey Hernandez
01/19/05   Mira Luna to Teresa Schott & Phil Pavana                         03/28/05   Sage Richard to Caroline White & Jay Dillemuth
01/26/05   Lily Rowan to Ruth Schlesinger & Kris Spangler                   04/01/05   Grace Christney to Marie & Bill McGlashan
02/02/05   Ruairi Delbert Terence to Crystal Brownfield &                   04/07/05   Piper Rosalee to Marci Riseman & Evan Sagerman
           Terry Magee                                                      04/19/05   Zayden Alexander to Lisa Hoffman &
02/09/05   Jasper Sage to Wendy & Andy Donner                                          Jennifer Wilson
02/11/05   Emilia Michael to Lesley & Bobby Podesta                         04/19/05   Serenna Rae King to Leah & Julian Redwood
02/11/05   Ceferino Arturo to Kristen Tucker & Alfredo Vergara              04/28/05   Kestler Alexander to Andrea & David Lloyd
02/20/05   Emmett John to Belynda & Robert Marks                            04/29/05   Ezra Aaron to Jackie Adams & Jessica Mass

                               Our love and sympathy to all those families who experienced
                                           pregnancy losses during this time.

                 CLASSIFIEDS                                                               homebirth
                                                                                                    the bay area


 YOGA CLASSES taught by a mom for pregnant and recently                        The midwives of the Bay Area Homebirth collec-
 postpartum moms. Certified yoga instructor and childbirth                     tive are pleased to bring this newsletter to you
 educator Jane Austin is teaching at                                           three to four times a year. We welcome items and
 - Yoga Tree Valencia (415-647-9707 or yogatreesf.com)                         articles for publication; submit them to Sue Baelen at
 - Bernal Yoga (415-643-9007 or bernalyoga.com)                                sue@bayareahomebirth.org
 - Open Door Yoga (415-824-5657 or opendooryoga.com)
                                                                               The BAHC was formed in 1995 to strengthen the sense
 DOULA TRAINING. Learn how to “mother the mother”                              of community for homebirth midwives and their cli-
 through birth. 7-week series begins August 1. Taught by                       ents. A collective in every sense of the word, the BAHC
 Abigail Reagan at Natural Resources. For information call                     depends on the midwives, assistants, and clients who
 415-550-2611.                                                                 volunteer their time and talents.
 HOMEBIRTH REFRESHER SERIES in the East Bay. Topics                            The BAHC midwives are:
 include review of labor coping, support techniques, sibling                     Abigail Reagan                 415.922.1286
 prep and adjustment, family dynamics and postpartum issues.                     Sue Baelen                     415.821.4213
 Contact Rachel Oda at 510-232-4969 or racheloda@aol.com.                        Kristen Graser                 510.548.4894
 YOGA CLASSES taught by certified Integral Yoga Teachers,                        Cindy Haag                     510.704.8366
 trained in helping moms-to-be and new moms relax and feel                       Maria Iorillo                  415.285.9233
 joy. Call Integral Yoga Institute for schedule: 415-821-1117                    Lis Worcester                  415.255.7028
 or email swamivimalananda@integralyogasf.org.
                                                                               If you would like to be removed from this mailing list,
 The Bay Area Homebirth Collective offers classified advertising listings      please send an email to sue@bayareahomebirth.org.
  in our quarterly newsletter. For prices or to place an ad, please call
                    Abigail Reagan at 415-922-1286.
Bay Area Homebirth Collective                                                                                                                 Page 3
Gal’s story, cont’d from page 1                  just need a break from changing diapers            on, right next to our bed. She seemed to
Lesson #1: Accept When I Am Doing                for a few hours) we use unbleached paper           like it right away, this little space that was
Enough                                           diapers. I now nurse Dahlia just once a day,       just hers, and we all got to sleep. And half-
     During my pregnancy, I had a lot            mostly for comfort, and I still love this time     way through the night she would wake to
of big plans about how I would parent. I         with her. Nursing more, I found myself             nurse, so she would still end up with us in
would use cloth diapers exclusively, though      depleted, getting sick a lot and not able to       the morning. Eventually, we moved into a
for some reason I never aspired to wash my       fully recover before getting sick again. We        new place with smaller bedrooms and there
own, and we signed up for a diaper service.      did elimination communication for a while,         was no room in our bedroom for a crib. So
I would nurse Dahlia as long as she wanted,      but it felt like too much when the weather         Dahlia now sleeps in her own room, and
as much as she wanted. I would do elimina-       got colder and Dahlia couldn’t walk around         she sleeps wonderfully.
tion communication with her and she would        the house naked anymore. We did wait until              We bathe Dahlia in natural baby wash.
be out of diapers by her first birthday. I       she was one before vaccinating, and after a        She eats mostly organic foods, but not
would probably not vaccinate her, and            lot of research and thinking and feeling, we       always. She is a wonderful eater, and she
definitely not before she was a year old. I      decided that we are only getting her a few         does play with her food – sometimes even
would give her homeopathic remedies. I           vaccines, and only one at a time. Dahlia           I have to remember not to eat with my fin-
would clothe her in 100% cotton, organic         has a whole collection of homeopathic and          gers. Her toys don’t always get picked up
clothing. I would give her only wooden and       herbal remedies, and we love them. But             at the end of every day, and I’ve accepted
cloth toys. She would sleep in our bed as        when she has a fever and is wailing and            that they are everywhere and probably will
long as she wanted, and would never ever         miserable from teething or a cold, we really       be for many years. I’ve actually come to
sleep in a crib. I would use natural products    appreciate Baby Tylenol… I’ve learned my           love how they brighten up our home, even
to bathe her in, and feed her only organic       threshold of enough when it comes to see-          though one of us trips or slips on them reg-
foods. I wouldn’t feed her solids unless         ing my daughter in pain and my ability to          ularly. Baby Einstein happened, and so did
she was sitting undistracted. I would keep       cope with it.                                      Gymboree – Dahlia preferred Gymboree,
all her toys and things organized in boxes             Grandma loves to buy clothes for her         not a big fan of sitting still in front of any-
in different parts of our home, and would        first granddaughter – they’re mostly but           thing, and I discovered how useful it was to
pick them up every day. I would never            not all cotton, they’re not organic, and they      give her a chance to run around and use her
put her in front of something as inane as        come from places like Target and Macy’s            rambunctious energy, and play with other
Baby Einstein, and wouldn’t set foot in a        – and boy do we appreciate them! Dahlia            children.
Gymboree class. The list of grand aspira-        loves both her plastic and other toys – and
                                                                                                    Lesson #2: Release All Expectations
tions went on and on, and I was determined       I’ve learned that it’s okay if some of those
                                                                                                         Dahlia teaches me the importance of
that, unless I did it perfectly, why even try.   toys come from Toys R Us. The most
                                                                                                    non-attachment. I have learned that the
Then Dahlia was born, and reality came           important thing is that our daughter has
                                                                                                    minute I become attached to how some-
back into the picture.                           grandparents who love her and it’s impor-
                                                                                                    thing is going or “should” be going, it
     I think we all have our own versions        tant for them to be able to give to her in
                                                                                                    changes radically and I get totally knocked
of what we thought we would do or never          their own way. We know how blessed we
                                                                                                    off my center. I have learned to enjoy
do and what we ended up doing, and in our        are to have such a tight and supportive
                                                                                                    the days that go smoothly – when Dahlia
own ways we get to a place of peace with         family.
                                                                                                    goes down easily for her naps and sleeps
our decisions. As sleep became more and                At around four months, our wiggly and
                                                                                                    for more than an hour; when she not only
more scarce and I learned a new way to           extremely active little girl got too big for
                                                                                                    sleeps through the night but wakes up at the
“get things done,” I learned my own ver-         our little bed – my husband and I were not
                                                                                                    refreshing hour of
sion of enough.                                  sleeping well during the hours we actually
                                                                                                    7:00 am, instead of her more usual 5:30;
     We still use cloth diapers most of the      got to sleep, and Dahlia had taken to sleep-
                                                                                                    when we are in the flow of our “routine”
time, but when Dahlia goes to bed at night       ing horizontally between us. So she moved
                                                                                                    and get outside for walks and play in the
and when we leave the house (or when I           to a crib we got from some cousins, on an
                                                                                                    park; when we take time to cuddle and
                                                 all-natural mattress some friends passed
                                                                                                                              Continued on page 6

                                                                                    Building inner resources for pregnancy, birth & beyond

 ���������������������                                                               NANCY GLAZE FRIEDRICH, C.C.H.T.
 �������������������                                                                                   Stress management for pregnancy wellness
 �����������������                                                                                         Hypnotherapy & Imagery for labor
 ��������������������                                                                                      Relaxation & postpartum adjustment

                                                                                                               Women’s health & infertility
 �������������������                                                                     Offices in
 �����������������������������������                                              Sausalito & West Marin         415-868-9744
Page 4                                                                                                  Bay Area Homebirth Collective

                    News from the Collective
     It’s been a busy spring for the                 Another midwife in the Collective                 Jade Lotus, the great outdoors, her spiritual
Collective. Thanks to all who came to our                  On the professional front, we’re            practice, knitting, reading, and art.
Spring picnic. It was a wonderful day and it         pleased to welcome a new midwife to the
                                                                                                       Apprentice goings and comings
was great to see those of you who                    Collective. Lis Worcester has been part of
                                                                                                           As happy as we are to welcome Lis,
were able to come.                                             the SF midwifery community since
                                                                                                       we will miss one who is leaving our ranks.
(We hope to see                                                    1997 when she began working
                                                                                                       Robin Doolittle is off to further studies in
the rest of you                                                        as a doula. Since then she
                                                                                                       Colorado and then heads to Maine where
there next                                                               has practiced in hospital,
                                                                                                       she will be teaching at her alma mata,
year!)                                                                    birth center and home set-
                                                                                                       Birthwise Midwifery School. Cindy’s new
Leah has a                                                                                             apprentice is Mariaelena Robles Quale, a
                                                                                Before all that, Lis
baby!                                                                                                  homebirth mom.
                                                                           was a nurse and family
                                                                           practice nurse practitio-   California gains another licensed midwife
course the
                                                                         ner. She is a graduate of          Kristen Graser has also been busy this
biggest news
                                                                       the University of Alaska,       spring. A graduate of the Maternidad de
was the birth
                                                                   Anchorage, UCSF Graduate            la Luz program in El Paso, Texas, Kristen
of Leah & Julian
                                                               Nursing School, and the National        was stuck in a bureaucratic Catch-22
Redwood’s first           Leah, Julian, and Serenna with their
                                                                  Midwifery Institute, and is a Cer-   when it came to obtaining her California
child. On April               midwives, Cindy and Robin
                                                                  tified Professional Midwife and      license. We’re very happy to announce that
19th they wel-
                                                     California Licensed Midwife. She is also a        the issues have all been resolved and that
comed a beautiful baby girl, Serenna Rae
                                                     certified Integral Yoga instructor of basic,      Kristen passed the California Challenge
King Redwood. The little Aries girl was 7
                                                     prenatal, and postpartum yoga. In addition to     Mechanism and will soon receive her
lbs, 3 oz, and just over 20 inches. Mother,
                                                     midwifery, her other loves are her daughter       official California midwifery license.
father, and daughter are all doing well.
                                                                                                       Congratulations, Kristen!

 Did you know?                                   From the Brattleboro Reformer, Jan. 10, 2005

 Before 1940, the vast majority of women            of-hospital births accounted for 1 percent         in the hands of midwives, according to
 in the United States birthed their babies at       of all births. Of those, 63 percent were ba-       the Center for Disease Control. In 1999,
 home. As hospitals became more com-                bies born at home, while 29 percent were           the number rose to 7.7 percent, which the
 mon, so did hospital births. From 1940 to          delivered in free-standing birth centers.          CDC calls a conservative estimate. This
 1979, babies delivered outside of a hospi-              Where there has been a more signifi-          includes hospital and homebirths.
 tal went from 44.2 percent to 0.6 percent.         cant change is the number of births at-
      The number of homebirths has                  tended by midwives. In 1975, only 1 per-
 increased, but only slightly. In 2000, out-        cent of all births in the United States were
Bay Area Homebirth Collective                                                                                                             Page 5

                                  Leslie’s Birth Story, continued
      Cindy didn’t arrive until about 11:15 pm, followed by Robin               The midwives stayed 3 more hours, magically preparing a
10 minutes later. By then I was talking to no one, just trying to ride     clean bed when I got up to go to the bathroom. After less than three
                                                  the waves. Brian was     hours labor, I was not anywhere as exhausted as I had been after
                                                  doing a great job all    Melody’s birth. They checked our vitals every 30 minutes, 6 times
                                                  by himself, but boy      total, and finally left after 3 am. I had decided to have Cindy stitch
                                                  was I glad to see        the small tear, which she did while Brian, Mom and Melody held
                                                  Cindy. She quietly       the baby in the living room. No one could sleep, of course, until
                                                  made a couple trips      everything was wrapped up.
                                                  to her car, bringing          My recovery was so fast – Mom stayed two whole weeks after
                                                  in all her suitcases     the birth – but even the very next day I could get up pretty easily.
                                                  of supplies, oxygen,     All the neighbors dropped by, which was fun. I was up and about,
                                                  etc. Not that she used                                                 sitting was no problem
                                                  much of it! And                                                        within a few days, and
                                                  Mom and Melody                                                         the nursing started up

       Little Sister Jordan                       were asleep, thank-
                                                                                                                         without a hitch. I was
                                                                                                                         then felled by a flu bug
                                                       By 11:30 pm                                                       at the end of the first
I was concentrating with all my might to get through it. I started                                                       week – a day of fever
making loud moans to get through each contraction. I could feel                                                          and then a lingering sick-
the baby moving down like a train. Melody woke up with the noise                                                         ness… But Mom took
(her bedroom was right next to mine), and someone got Mom up                                                             care of everything. I had
to take care of Melody. They were standing at the foot of my bed,                                                        just one bout of unex-
Mom holding her. Robin checked my cervix, and her eyes lit up                                                            plained crying (which
when she reported, “You’re complete!” I was thrilled too! I guess                                                        I had also had with
by prior arrangement, and barring anything unexpected, Robin was                                                         Melody), and that was
to be the “primary” midwife for me. (She had to be primary on a                                                          it for post-partum blues.
certain number of births as part of her training.) I was her first,                                                      Except when Mom left,
and, she had never felt a completely dilated cervix before! She was                                                      that day I cried from
as excited as the rest of us. I looked at Brian and he was thrilled                                                      morning til night…
too. The baby was coming fast, and I shut my eyes. I wasn’t                                                                    I spent the rest of
sure Melody was there, and I wanted her to be, so I called to her,
“Melody are you here?” and I heard her little voice saying “yes.”
                                                                                 Big Sister Melody                       the summer receiving
                                                                                                                         visitors on our deck! ✿
Mom was standing at the foot of the bed holding Melody. I guess
Cindy and Robin were all gathered around, and Brian was alternat-          Each month the BAHC asks a family to share their pregnancy and
ing beside my head and down at the foot of the bed, watching for           birth experience in their own words. If you are interested in sharing
the baby to come. My water had broken a few minutes before, just           your story, please contact your midwife.
a small pop and a small gush of water, but it surprised me. I felt
Jordan’s head crowning, and it burned, and I said so. I was not real-
ly pushing, just holding on, she was moving down. I did feel like
pushing a little right at the end, and she came out with a rush of the
rest of the water. I didn’t see anyone’s faces, nor hear any voices,
but Brian caught her head, and, with Robin’s help, moved her up
onto my belly. It was 11:50 pm.
      She was warm and slimy, and they covered her with blankets.
The light was low, but I could see her face. After a few minutes,
Brian asked Melody to come around and do her job – check to see
if it was a sister or a brother! Melody walked up, lifted up the blan-
kets and someone moved Jordan’s leg out of the way, and Melody
said, “It’s – a vagina!” I hadn’t even thought to look myself, but
was not surprised by the announcement. Meanwhile, we were wait-
ing for the placenta, which seemed to take a long time in coming
– maybe 20 minutes. It was easy to get it out, and we all checked
it out in its bowl. It then went into the freezer, on top of Melody’s
Page 6                                                                                            Bay Area Homebirth Collective
Gal’s story, cont’d from page 3
giggle on the bed and read books because          managed to enter parenthood with no idea of           Poetry Corner
I’m not in a hurry; when I get time to nap        what I wanted for my child – except a life-
or shower or just sit doing nothing. I have       time of health and happiness. I don’t come                Role Reversal
learned to savor these moments without            from that generation of Jewish mothers who
                                                                                                              by Cindy Goldfield
expecting that the next                                                    wanted their chil-
day will be anything                                                       dren to become doc-        Chasing your small hand with
like today. In the same                                                    tors or lawyers.                my own
way Dahlia and I had
                                                                             Lesson #3: Be            As we nurse in the afternoon
our perfect birth experi-
ence, each day – even
                                                                             Present in This               light
                                                                             Moment                   I think of the time
the hardest – is impor-
                                                                                  Not being
tant and perfect as it is.
                                                                             attached means, to
                                                                                                      When our roles might be
     I heard a speaker                                                                                     reversed
                                                                             me, one thing: living
once who reminded us
                                                                             as much as I pos-        When you are my age,
that we all start off at
                                                                             sibly can in the pres-   My sweet little man
perfection – that perfec-
                                                                             ent moment. That’s       And you take my hand
tion is not something
                                                                             what Dahlia has
to attain, but rather a
                                                                             taught me these past
                                                                                                      To comfort me as I
starting point. Being                                                                                 Face things unknown.
                                                                             15 months. I drop
a parent is the hardest
                                                                             to my knees daily
thing I have ever done.
                                                                             before her and rec-
Not the kind of hard
                                                                             ognize the countless
that feels impossible,
                                                                             gifts she bestows
but the kind of hard
that challenges my very            My Teacher, Dahlia                        upon me. When I
                                                                             am distracted by the
essence, my integrity
                                                                             past (what I could
and confidence. It is a
                                                  have done better) or the future (what I’ll do
great comfort to know that, even as a parent,
                                                  differently next time), she calls me back to
I start from perfection.
                                                  the moment. Her curiosity is boundless, and
     When Dahlia was just a few months old
                                                  she wants to know what everything is. She
and I was spending more time with other
                                                  wants to show me all she is learning. There
new moms, I found myself – as I’m sure we
                                                  is no more perfect way for me to be in the
all have at some point – getting caught up in
                                                  moment than to be right there with her, to
the comparison game. What are other kids
                                                  respond to all her questions, and to share in
doing that mine isn’t? What is she doing that
                                                  her discovery of everything that is new.
they aren’t? What are other moms doing that
                                                       The other day Dahlia wanted, needed
I’m not? What am I doing that they’re not?
                                                  to go on a walk, to get outside for some
I learned very early on that this is a useless
                                                  fresh air and a change of scene. And little
and frustrating exercise in holding to expec-
                                                  did we know, but David and I needed that
tations and not recognizing the absolute per-
                                                  too. Luckily, we listened to our daughter,
fection of what actually is.
                                                  but only after a lot of fussing and trying too
     There is no “perfect” age to start crawl-
                                                  hard to figure out what we could do to calm
ing, no “ideal” time for a child to go to sleep
                                                  her down. I finally listened as she came to
at night. I learned that each child is magnifi-
                                                  my office and pushed at me to get off my
cently unique and perfect exactly how she
                                                  desk chair, communicat-
or he is. And I learned that each of us new
                                                  ing very clearly that she
moms was doing a wonderful job caring
for our new babies. I learned that the steps
                                                  wanted me away from             more mojo FAMILY CHIROPRACTIC
                                                  the computer and out
I have taken as a parent – helping my child
                                                  of our house. It takes
learn to go to sleep earlier than 11:00 pm,
                                                  incredible presence of
                                                                                             Specializing in infants, babies, children,
leaving her with a baby-sitter a few times a
                                                  mind, body and spirit to                          family, and pregnancy care.
week so that I could get work done and even
                                                  listen, really listen, to                     Certified in the in-utero constraint
relax a little, moving her into her own bed
                                                  my child – but when I
so that my husband and I could sleep bet-
                                                  do, she never leads me                            (breech) turning technique.
ter – have come out of our personal needs
                                                  astray. ✿
as a family. It has to work for all of us, not                                                                      Dr. Kristine Hicks
just our child. There is no “right” way to do                                                                            415-821-6656
things – we are all unique. Fortunately, I had                                                             725 Florida St. Suite #3, SF
Bay Area Homebirth Collective                                                                                                                                          Page 7

       POT LUCKS AND BIRTH STORIES                                                                        GROUPS FOR NEW PARENTS
Recent moms, dads, parents-to-be, veteran parents — everyone’s                                                       Wednesday on 27th St.
welcome to our BAHC potlucks. Join us and meet other area                                        New parents meet in Noe Valley on Wednesdays from 1:00
families. Upcoming dates:                                                                   to 4:30 pm at Maria Iorillo’s house, 206 -27th Street between
July 10       Birth stories at Cindy’s. 11 am to 2 pm                                       Church and Dolores. No need to call first, just come by.
              Bring a vegetarian dish to share.
              3024B Fulton Street, Berkeley                                                                            Monday in Oakland
Aug 21        Birth stories at Sue’s. 11 am to 2 pm                                              New East Bay parents are invited to meet every Wednesday
              Bring food and/or drink to share.                                             at the home of Lesley Podesta. The get-together goes from
              315 Hoffman Ave at 24th Street, San Francisco                                 1:00 to 3:00 pm at 70 Rio Vista, near Piedmont Ave and
                                                                                            MacArthur Blvd. Call 510-594-2278 for additional details.
Sept TBA Birth stories at Cindy’s. 11 am to 2 pm
         See above.
                                                                                                           East Bay Parents of More than One
                                                                                                Having more than one child takes a whole other set of
                    EVENTS & OPENINGS                                                       techniques and strategies. If you’ve recently expanded your
                             Free Yoga Classes                                              family stop by this group of second, third and more time moms
    Saturdays at St. Luke’s Hospital, Susan Arthur offers free                              and dads; they’re meeting outdoors during the summer. Contact
yoga classes in the Solarium on the top floor. No registration                              Jennifer Griffin at 510-525-2355 for time, location and details.
necessary, just come and have fun. For more info, contact Susan
at 415-824-0663.
• Parent & Baby Yoga (pre-crawling), Saturdays 10-11 am
• Prenatal Yoga (partners welcome), Saturdays 11-noon

        Make sure your favorite mode of transportation
   is sporting the latest midwife-friendly statement. The
   Bay Area Homebirth Collective bumper sticker is yours
   for the asking — just ask your midwife or childbirth

                                                                                                        Now available
                                                                                                      through the BAHC
                                                                                                      Healthy, convenient drinking
                                                                                                       water for just 7¢ a gallon.
                                                                                                    Contact Maria Iorillo for details
                                                                                                     and pricing: 415-285-9233 or

                                                                        AD SPACE NOW AVAILABLE
The Bay Area Homebirth Collective offers advertising in their quarterly newsletter for just $40 per quarter. Circulation is to over 700 homes and businesses. Readers are pregnant
women, new moms and their families, midwives, doulas and others in the homebirth community. If you are an alternative healthcare provider or provide products or services to preg-
nant or new moms, this is a great place to let them know what you offer. If you have questions, or would like to place an ad, please call Abigail Reagan at (415) 922-1286.
                               The Bay Area Homebirth Collective
                               315 Hoffman Avenue
                               San Francisco, CA 94114--3129

 BAHC Committees
 Childbirth Classes
  Jane Austin       415.334-2829
  Laura Todaro      510.533-2829
 PR & Advertising
  Abigail Reagan    415.922-1286
  Maria Iorillo     415.285-9233
  Lis Worcester     415-255-7028
  Sue Baelen        415.821-4213
   Maria Iorillo    415.285-9233

for classes, support groups,
events and services, call

            BUILDINg community through homebirth

      Sacred Body Midwifery                                                     Wisewoman Childbirth
        Leah Redwood, LM, CPM                                                        Traditions
              Sue Baelen                                                          Maria Iorillo, LM, CPM
            415-821-4213                                                             415-285-9233

   Fruits of Labor Midwifery                                                        Tres Lunas Midwifery
         Kristen Graser, CPM                                                            Cindy Haag, LM, CPM
           510-548-4894                                                          Mariaelena Robles Quale, Apprentice

                                           re:Birth Midwifery        Jade Lotus Midwifery
                                           Abigail Reagan, LM, CPM     Lis Worcester, LM, CPM
                                                415-922-1286               415-255-7028

the bay area homebirth collective

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