Keeping up with ADD

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					                                              Keeping u p with ADD
 Accept—don’t reject                                                                                                Company not for gain
                                       July-August 2008                     Tel: (011) 888-7655                             93/03639/08
                                                                            Fax: 086-604-7124
        from the                                                  E-mail:                                Office hours:
    Attention Deficit                  PO Box 3704                                                                      Weekday mornings
                                                                 www.                                         09h00 to 13h00
     & Hyperactivity                   Randburg
    Support Group of                                             If you do not wish to receive this                ADHASA National Office
                                       2125                                                                  Delta Park School, Blairgowrie
    Southern Africa                                                     please send an e-mail with
                                                                      “unsubscribe” in the subject.                 Phone: (011) 888-7655

 Helping the community                 Making Life Easier for ADD Moms with ADD Kids                           by Allyson Koekhoven
  for nearly 19 years!
                                       It is difficult enough being a mother,             There has been much information about
                                       but how much more difficult is it for              ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder with or
                                       the mother of children with ADD if                 without Hyperactivity) and the focus has
     This article targets                                                                 been on children affected by it. Little
        people with                    she has ADD herself? The number
                                       one rule is to ‘lighten up’.                       attention has been given to adults with
        ADHD and                                                                          ADD. Many children with the disorder
      the information                                                                     have one or more parents or
      could help other                                                                    grandparents who had the disorder in
        people too.                                                                       childhood, and still suffer many of the
       Please make                                                                        symptoms in their adulthood.
      this newsletter
    available to anyone                                                                   Many adults – some even unaware that
     who could use it.                                                                    they have ADD - have developed coping
                                                                                          strategies to get them through the day.
                                                                                          Some write detailed checklists (or use
                                                                                          ‘Reminder’ functions on cell phones and
      ISSUE:                           Often the biggest struggle for an                  PCs and laptops) which
                                       ADD mother with ADD children is an                 serve to prompt the
                                       internal one. Societal expectations                errant memory. Others
Making Life Easier for ADD             have been deeply ingrained in many                 follow strict and daunting
Moms with ADD Kids ........ 1          women, and mothers place severe                    routines to ensure
                                       demands upon themselves.                           compliance with societal
ADHD SEMINAR                           Breaking out of a mould that doesn’t               demands for order.
Feedback ......................... 3                        fit can take time
                                                            and effort.                   ADHASA has provided a
                                                            Working with a                support system for all parents (with or
                                                            therapist who                 without ADD). It has been a lifeline when
  Volunteers Needed
                                                            really under-                 demands of daily life become too hard for
 to help in the office,                                     stands issues                 desperate moms to bear alone. ADHASA
     even just one                                          related to ADD                has drawn on its nearly twenty years of
                                                            may help shed                 experience and contact with other
   morning a week,                                                                        international ADD support groups to
                                                            the impossible
        please!                                             expectations
                                                            that an ADD
  Phone Sandy on                                            mother has of
   (011) 793-2079                                           herself.
 when you can help.
                                        This edition of “Keeping up with ADD” kindly put together for us by Lorí Lea;
                                        Executive, Life, Family & ADD Coach 082-787-0262 ~
PAGE   2

 provide the best information for        Time-outs are essential        Relax and make it a magical
 all. In this issue we have some     when you have ADD and are           journey for you and your family.
 tips to help mums with ADD to       raising children. But it’s not
 cope more effectively with their    easy to find time for these         ADHD SEMINAR Feedback
 own ADD and that of their           breaks because they require
 children:                           planning. Making time-outs part     The 15th annual ADHASA seminar was
                                     of your routine eliminates most     once again held at Wits University’s
    Partners may feel anger and     of the planning and juggling that   Sturrock Park Hall on 13 and 14
 resentment about an ill-kept        might otherwise take place. An      September.
 house or badly behaved children     example would be to enlist the
 so it’s important for mothers to    help of your partner to take the    Interestingly, this year’s conference
 enlist their partner’s support.     kids out and away from the          harked back to the conferences of the
                                     house for a couple of hours on      mid 90’s of ADHASA conferences when
                                     the weekend. Another solution       the number of professionals (teachers
                                     could be arranging for a regular    and therapists) far outweighed the
                                     babysitter a few times a month.     number of parents attending. Last year’s
                                      Invest in a good book on          conference boasted approximately 60%
                                     behaviour management                parents while this year’s delegates (120
                                     techniques for children with        over the two days) comprised 22%
                                     ADD. (Check out the books in        parents. It would seem that perhaps the
                                     the ADHASA shop at Delta Park       inflation rate has affected the
 If the husband or partner does      School.) Parents of non-ADD
 not have ADD himself, then it’s a                                       attendance rate as well.
                                     children often judge parents of
 good idea for the children’s        ADD kids as being too
 mother to be open and honest        permissive. They usually blame      A mixture of topics aimed at both the
 about how ADD affects her.          the laissez-faire attitude of       professionals and the parents were
  Create an ADD-friendly            parents with these challenging      presented by both well-known, long-
 environment in the home by          children. Parents of children       standing presenters such as Prof van
 approaching the family’s ADD        with ADD know that their            der Merwe (ADHASA Chairman) Jane
 with acceptance and good            children don’t respond to the       Jarvis, Terry Wilke, Anita Decaires-
 humour.                             usual management and limits in      Wagner, Mary Hyam and Elaine
  Reassess killer schedules for     the same way that others do.        Harcombe; coupled with some new
 both moms and children. This         Manage the destabilizing          faces like Dr Gill Lloyd, Francoise
 helps everyone make it through      effect of hormonal fluctuations.    Harrison, Renae Basson, Gail van Zyl,
 the childhood and teenage years     It is not commonly known that       Dr Johan Erasmus and Paula Barnard.
                                     moms with ADD often have
                                     more severe PMS or                  Subjects covered included the role of
                                     menopausal symptoms that            essential fatty acids, medical
                                     women without ADD.                  assessments and diagnosis, auditory
                                     Look for positive experiences to    processing, nutrition, environmental
                                     share with your children.           influences, time management with
                                     Mothers need to stop blaming        children and classroom management.
                                     themselves for not meeting the
                                     demands of two of life’s most       A DVD has
                                     ‘ADD-unfriendly jobs’ that of       been produced
 with their sanity intact. If the    housewife and mother. Be            which will soon
 pressure gets to be too much,       aware of what is necessary and      be available for
 look for ways of reducing           what has to be accomplished,        purchase.
 commitments.                        however find ways of
                                                                         Even if you
  Moms need someone who             expressing yourself and
                                                                         were unable to
 will give them unconditional and    interacting with your children.
                                                                         attend, you can
 non-judgmental help, even it it’s                                       still gain from the experience. We also
 just to offload some
                                                                         have CDs for sale which features the
 aggravations. A good support
                                                                         speaker notes. Please contact our
 system outside the home is vital
                                                                         office to place orders for either of these
 for when the pressure cooker
 syndrome takes hold of family                                           on 011-888-7655, or
 members.                                                                e-           order:

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