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Niobium Proving

VIEWS: 40 PAGES: 244

									      NIOBIUM METALLICUM VANCOUVER PROVING APRIL, 2004

Vancouver Homeopathy Academy, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
School Director: Murray Feldman, MCH, RSHom, CCH
Proving Coordinator: Dr. Lianne South, DC, ND, DHANP, CCH, RSHom (NA)
Supervisor Directors: Allyson Burden and Tamara Pearl (Exit Meeting Notes
taken by Tamara Pearl)
Supervisors: Carol-Anne Bickerstaff, Krista Brown, Catherine Dean, Leslie
Lewis, Bonnie Pennell, Nicole Planek, Donna Powers, Barbara Roberts,
Louise Rollard, Lora Roy, Tami De Santos, Pat Walker
Compilation and Introduction by Linda F.G. Miller, Fourth Year Final
Project, 2006/07

                              INTRODUCTION

Connections lit up my mind following the proving exit meeting as Laurie
Dack described the diffuse boundaries theme of Phosphorus to our first year
class. Niobium also had boundary themes though more intense and
destructive than Phosphorus. Searching for more patterns, I located these
two elements on the periodic table. Though in different columns and rows, I
noticed a relationship between their atomic weights: the atomic weight of
Niobium is 92.906. This is almost exactly three times the atomic weight of
Phosphorus at 30.973. Delight in pattern thinking, blended with my newly
acquired vision of homeopathy from inside a proving, sealed my
commitment to this healing art.
Niobium is found in Group Five, Period Five of the periodic table. As a
transition metal, it is in the sub-series Lanthanides, according to Dr. Ramesh
Jain and Dr. Smita Tridevi. Though the Lanthanides are known as part of the
gold series by homeopaths, it is interesting that both silver and gold series
are transition metals in the sub-series Lanthanides. Perhaps we can consider
some common themes in this broader grouping as well as themes of the
silver and gold series individually. Niobium physically facilitates electrical
connections. Blue-green in colour, it is used in cathodes and capacitors
(electronics), camera lenses, computer screens, and chemical processing
equipment. Niobium in the “silver series” of the periodic table has an
affinity for artists, according to Dr. Jan Scholten. In society the artist
historically challenges moral, social and aesthetic boundaries while reflecting
our consciousness back to us in their work. Prover number six, a classical
singer, encountered the proving as she was coming to terms with a failed
career. Niobium reached deeply into all aspects of her creativity, including
her children.
Niobe, Queen of Thebes, for whom the element is named, lost all fourteen of


                                      1
her children upon challenging her people’s worship of Latona, mother of
Apollo and Diana. Appearing amongst the crowd, resplendent with gold and
gems, she asked her subjects why they would worship an unseen goddess
when her splendor was clearly visible and as worthy. The vengeful goddess
killed her seven sons and seven daughters and turned her to stone. Niobe’s
breach of boundary resulted in complete destruction for herself and her
descendants.
There appears to be a correlation between the rise of AIDS and the rise of
anonymous, boundary-less, global communication created by the Internet.
Destruction of the immune system, the body’s life-maintaining boundary, is
the action of the HIV virus. Dr. Peter Fraser, lecturing in Calgary, Alberta,
Canada in April of 2007, spoke of the Lanthanides as belonging the AIDS
miasm, drawing parallels to electronic man. Dr. Jan Scholten’s recent work
on the Lanthanides has found treatment for AIDS in these new remedies. The
beginnings of the Internet were operational by June of 1983 when the U.S.
National Science Foundation built a university network. It was around this
time when the ravaging of the gay population by AIDS gained media
attention.
Canadian philosopher Marshall McLuhan chose the insightful phrase "global
village" to highlight his observation that an electronic nervous system (the
media) was rapidly integrating the planet. Events in one part of the world
could be experienced from other parts in real-time. He writes, in 1964 in
Understanding Media, “Today, after more than a century of electric technology,
we have extended our central nervous system itself in a global embrace,
abolishing both space and time as far as our planet is concerned.” Jet and
space travel, satellite communication, cell phones, international trade and
telepathic communication further alter boundaries of time and space as
human endeavour, folly and disease evolve with and beyond technology.
Echoes of Niobe’s loss are found in this proving in dreams of saving children
in danger, abuse of children, and detached witnessing of children being
harmed. Other themes include fast-paced journeys and dwellings with
endless rooms and portholes to foreign places. Past and future fold into the
present in resolution of old hurts. Connection is desired with others, even to
dissolve into one another in embrace. Sexual dreams involve prostitution,
voyeurism, infidelity, violence, and psychic invasion. Drugs and crime
accompany violation of person. Provers experienced floods from bursting
water pipes and dreamt of rivers breaching their banks. Expanding and
bursting sensations caused one prover to fear stroke for months after the
proving. Time and space appear altered. Mysticism, creativity and
synchronicity are harbingers of expanded consciousness.
During the process of compiling this proving I have observed patterns
between AIDS and the boundary-dissolving electronic age on a miasmatic
scale. Niobium is a remedy for these modern times as boundaries of outer
and inner world become increasingly indistinct. It is my hope that this
proving will serve to increase our understanding of these global connections.


                                       2
TABLE OF CONTENTS

Poetry                                        5
Setting for the Proving/The Proving           6
Natural History: Niobium, the Element         7
Atomic Structure of Niobium                   7
Chemical Properties of Niobium                8
Physical Properties of Niobium                8
Raw Materials                                 10
Extraction and Refining                       11
Applications for Niobium                      12
Jan Scholten on Niobium                       13
Transition Elements and Lanthanides           19
Pre-Proving                                   24
In Class Following the Proving Exit Meeting   24
Aramaic Lord’s Prayer                         25
Mind (Themes)                                 26
Dreams (Themes)                               43
Vertigo                                       77
Head                                          77
Eyes                                          79
Vision                                        80
Ear                                           80
Hearing                                       81
Nose                                          81
Face                                          81
Mouth                                         82
Teeth                                         83
Throat                                        84
Stomach                                       84
Abdomen                                       85
Bladder                                       86
Urine                                         86


                                      3
Rectum                                    86
Stool                                     87
Female                                    87
Respiratory Organs                        89
Cough                                     89
Expectoration                             89
Larynx and Trachea                        90
Chest                                     90
Back                                      91
Extremities                               92
Sleep                                     95
Fever/Heat                                97
Skin                                      97
Generalities                              98
Prover Number One                         102
Prover Number Two                         110
Prover Number Three                       127
Prover Number Four                        139
Prover Number Five                        143
Prover Number Six                         148
Prover Number Seven                       168
Prover Number Eight                       170
Prover Number Nine                        176
Prover Number Ten                         182
Prover Number Eleven                      193
Prover Number Twelve                      201
APPENDIX I – LIST OF NIOBIUM RUBRICS
APPENDIX II – RUBRICS FROM MACREPERTORY




                              4
      POETRY



DIALOGUE WITH ECCLESIA                  Linda F.G. Miller
             (Inspired by the writings of Hildegard of Bingen)
A fiery dragon curses this green and flowing place, drying it up,
evaporating life and hope.

How will I tame or catch this powerful illusion?
Fame and pride, greed and lust are its life-blood.

In humility, you shall diminish him;
In quiet his fire will reduce to a benign spark, harmless.
Ecclesia will pour Her gentle healing waters on you;
She will wash you clean in her blue-green, cool seas;
You’ll remember your true self.

How will She come, where will She find me in this place?

In the moment you open your heart and ask Her to come to you,
She will attend, and stay as long as you choose.

Ecclesia came in Her blue-diamond gown, crowned in stars, gleaming the
sun’s rays, with all of Creation’s flora and fauna swirling at Her feet forming
her veil and train that stretched to eternity.
In Her presence my heart was cleansed, my thoughts stilled.
My false pursuits came crashing down like the shedding of armourous skin.

Unveiled, I stood in wonder at the marvelous, green pulsing of Creation that
matched the rhythm of my beating heart.

I humbly lifted my throat to heaven and sang my soul’s perfect song.




                                       5
      THE SETTING FOR THE PROVING



The initial meeting for the proving was held following class at the Vancouver
Homeopathy Academy on the University of British Columbia campus on
Sunday, March 14, 2004. The school was temporarily housed in a portable at
that time, as extensive renovations to the main building housing the School of
Theology were incomplete. The concept of unfinished projects comes up
prominently throughout the proving. The writing up of the proving began in
July of 2006, ending over two years of waiting as an unfinished project in the
busy office of the proving coordinator. Reports from one prover and some of
the supervisors went missing. In spite of this, journals from twelve provers
provide us with a wealth of information on Niobium metallicum.



      THE PROVING



Helios Pharmacy, Tunbridge Wells, England, prepared the remedy. The
potency given to all provers was 30C; none were given placebo. Thirteen
women participated in the proving. Eight were from the Vancouver area, one
from Gabriola Island, BC, one from Edmonton, AB, one from Seattle, WA,
and one from Calgary, AB.
The proving was triple blind, the remedy having been chosen by the Director
of the Vancouver Homeopathy Academy, Murray Feldman. Dr. Lianne South
coordinated the proving. All the provers were supervised. Supervisors
reported to Supervisor Directors, Allyson Burden and Tamara Pearl. Provers
were instructed to take one dose of the remedy on the evening of Sunday,
March 28, 2004, two to three pellets dissolved under the tongue. If no
symptoms since the start of the proving, they were advised by their
supervisors to take a second dose of the remedy at bedtime on the following
evening, Monday, March 29, 2004. A third and final dose was to be taken on
the evening of Tuesday, March 30, 2004 if no new symptoms had developed.
No more remedy was to be taken after the third dose. Journaling continued
through the proving exit meeting on Saturday, April 17, 2004.




                                      6
NATURAL HISTORY: NIOBIUM, THE ELEMENT



Columbium and niobium are synonymous names for the chemical element
with atomic number 41. It is in Group 5, period 5 in the transition metals.
The transition metals include all elements in the sub-series Lanthanides and
Actinides of the inner-transition elements and at least part of the sub-series
Transactinides, which are the elements following the Actinides series. In
general these elements are known for their hardness, high density, high
melting point and boiling point and heat conduction although there are
exceptions. These elements all have a d electron as the differentiating
electron in their electron configuration. In other words, their outer most
electrons are always in the d orbital.




       ATOMIC STRUCTURE OF NIOBIUM


Atomic Radius: 2.08Å
Atomic Volume: 10.87cm3/mol
Covalent Radius: 1.34Å
Cross Section: 1.15barns ±0.05
Crystal Structure: Cubic body centered
Electron Configuration:
1s2 2s2p6 3s2p6d10 4s2p6d4 5s1
Electrons per Energy Level: 2,8,18,12,1
Shell Model


                                       7
Ionic Radius: 0.69Å
Filling Orbital: 4d 4
Number of Electrons (with no charge): 41
Number of Neutrons (most common/stable nuclide): 52
Number of Protons: 41
Oxidation States: 5,3
Valence Electrons: 4d 4 5s 1
Electron Dot Model


      CHEMICAL PROPERTIES OF NIOBIUM

Electrochemical Equivalent: 0.69327g/amp-hr
Electron Work Function: 4.3eV
Electronegativity (Pauling): 1.6
Heat of Fusion: 26.4kJ/mol
Incompatiblities: (none listed)
Ionization Potential
First: 6.88
Second: 14.32
Third: 25.04
Valence Electron Potential (-eV): 104


      PHYSICAL PROPERTIES OF NIOBIUM

Note: temperature and pressure sensitive calculations are based on normal
temperature and pressure (20°C @ 1atm).
Atomic Mass Average: 92.90638
Boiling Point: 5017K 4744°C 8571°F
Coefficient of Linear Thermal Expansion:
7.31E-06cm/cm/°C (0°C)
Conductivity
  Electrical: 0.0693 106/cm
  Thermal: 0.537 W/cmK


                                     8
Density: 8.57g/cc @ 300K
Description:
Shiny white soft transition metal.
Elastic Modulus:
  Bulk: 170/GPa
  Rigidity: 38/GPa
Youngs: 105/GPa
  Enthalpy of Atomization: 745 kJ/mole @ 25°C
  Enthalpy of Fusion: 27.2 kJ/mole
  Enthalpy of Vaporization: 696.6 kJ/mole
Flammablity Class:
  Freezing Point: see melting point
Hardness Scale
  Brinell: 736 MN m-2
Mohs: 6
Vickers: 1320 MN m-2
Heat of Vaporization: 682kJ/mol
Melting Point: 2741K 2468°C 4474°F
Molar Volume: 10.84 cm3/mole
Physical State (at 20°C & 1atm): Solid
Specific Heat: 0.26J/gK
Vapor Pressure = 0.0755Pa@2468°C
Regulatory / Health
CAS Number: 7440-03-1
OSHA Permissible Exposure Limit (PEL)
No limits set by OSHA
OSHA PEL Vacated 1989
No limits set by OSHA
NIOSH Recommended Exposure Limit (REL)
No limits set by NIOSH 1

1 www.environmentalchemistry.com/yogi/chemistry/dictionary/T02.html#
Transition%20Metals



                                      9
Columbium was the name given to this element in 1801 by its English
discoverer, Charles Hatchet. Niobium (Nb) was the name officially designated
by the International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry in 1950. Niobium,
in the form of ferroniobium is used worldwide, mostly as an alloying element
in steels and in superalloys. Appreciable amounts of columbium in the form
of high-purity ferroniobium and nickel niobium are used in nickel, cobalt,
and iron-base superalloys for such applications as jet engine components,
rocket subassemblies, and heat resisting and combustion equipment. 2



       RAW MATERIALS

The following information on raw materials, refining and applications is reprinted with
permission from the Tantalum-Niobium International Study Center website.
The primary mineral from which niobium is obtained is known as
pyrochlore. The world's largest deposit is located in Araxá, Brazil and is
owned by Companhia Brasileira de Metalurgia e Mineração (CBMM). The
reserves are enough to supply current world demand for about 500 years,
about 460 million tons. The mining of weathered ore, running between 2.5
and 3.0% Nb2O5, is conducted by simple open pit mining without the need for
drilling and explosives.


Approximately 85 to 90% of the niobium industry obtains its niobium ores
from sources other than those associated with the mining of tantalum-
containing ores. Another pyrochlore mine in Brazil is owned and operated by
Anglo American Brasil Mineração Catalão and contains 18 million tonnes at
1.34% niobium oxide. The third major deposit of pyrochlore being actively
mined is the Niobec Mine in Quebec, Canada, owned by Cambior, with
reserves of 18,000 tonnes. In all three facilities, the pyrochlore mineral is
processed by primarily physical processing technology to give a concentrate
ranging from 55 to about 60% niobium oxide. These three companies produce
about 85% of the world's demand for niobium products, with most of that
output being in the form of ferro-niobium with a nominal 60% niobium oxide
content, for making high strength, low-alloy steel. Columbite, a mineral with
a ratio of Nb2O5:Ta2O5 ranging from 10:1 to 13:1, occurs in Brazil, Nigeria, and
Australia, also other countries in central Africa. Niobium is recovered when
the ores are processed for tantalum. Niobium is also found, in very small
quantities, in the slags produced from the smelting of some tin ore.


2 U.S. Department of the Interior: U.S. Geological Survey Mineral
Information URL: http://minerals.usgs.gov/minerals/pubs/mit/index.html




                                              10
       EXTRACTION AND REFINING

Two separate processing schemes are utilized for niobium production. Those
companies that mine pyrochlore convert the niobium oxide units into HSLA
ferro-niobium through the aluminothermic reduction process or by reduction
in an electric arc furnace. CBMM has installed capacity for the production of
a high purity oxide that can be used to produce vacuum grade ferro- and
nickel-niobium as well as niobium metal ingots via electron beam refining.
The use of columbite and tantalum-bearing ores, such as tantalite, as
feedstock results in the necessity to process these materials chemically. The
purified niobium-containing process stream is generally converted to
niobium hydroxide by the introduction of ammonia, followed by washing,
filtration, and calcining to the oxide. Purities exceeding 99.99% can be
achieved.

Niobium oxide (Nb2O5) is generally the starting chemical for the production of
other compounds, such as niobium chloride (NbCl5), niobium carbide (NbC),
or lithium niobate (LiNbO3). Niobium metal is produced by the
aluminothermic reduction of the oxide followed by electron beam refining.
Niobium powders can be produced by the reduction of potassium niobium
heptafluoride (K2NbF7) with sodium, or by the reduction of niobium oxide
with magnesium.

The various metallurgical products are generally produced from electron
beam or vacuum arc melted niobium ingot. Double and triple melt ingots
achieve a very high level of purification with respect to metallic and
interstitial elements. Ingots are used to produce niobium alloys such as
niobium-1% zirconium, niobium-titanium, C-103, Inconels, and others.

Several capacitor manufacturers are developing capacitors using niobium
metal powder or niobium oxide, and these models are gradually being
brought to the market. 3




   3   Tantalum-Niobium International Study Centre URL:
       http://www.tanb.org


NOTE: A link to the 2007 USGS Mineral Commodity Summary "Columbium
(Niobium)" is available at:
http://minerals.usgs.gov/minerals/pubs/commodity/niobium/




                                      11
                APPLICATIONS FOR NIOBIUM

  Niobium
                               Application                       Technical Attributes/Benefits
  Product
HSLA Ferro-     Niobium additive to ‘high strength low         Imparts a doubling of strength and
niobium         alloy’ steel and stainless steel for oil and   toughness due to grain refining.
(~60%Nb)        gas pipelines, car and truck bodies,           Weight reduction.
                architectural requirements, tool steels,
                ships’ hulls, railroad tracks.
Niobium oxide - Manufacture lithium niobate for surface - High index of refraction.
              acoustic wave filters.                    - High dielectric constant.
              - Camera lenses.                          - Increase light transmittance.
                - Coating on glass for computer screens.
                - Ceramic capacitors.
Niobium         Cutting tool compositions.                     High temperature deformation,
carbide                                                        controls grain growth.
Niobium         Niobium capacitors for electronic circuits. High dielectric constant, stability of
powder                                                      oxide dielectric.
Niobium metal - Sputtering targets.                            Corrosion resistance, formation of
plates, sheets, - Cathode protection systems for large         oxide and nitride films. Increase in
wire, rod,      steel structures.                              high temperature resistance and
tubing                                                         corrosion resistance, oxidation
                - Chemical processing equipment.               resistance, improved creep resistance,
                                                               reduced erosion at high temperatures.
Niobium-       Superconducting magnetic coils in               Electrical resistance of alloy wire
titanium alloy magnetic resonance imagery (MRI),               drops to virtually zero at or below
Niobium-tin    magnetoencephalography, magnetic                temperature of liquid helium (-
alloy          levitation transport systems, particle          268.8°C).
               physics experiments.
Niobium-        - Sodium vapor lamps                           Corrosion resistance, fixation of
1%zirconium     - Chemical processing equipment                oxygen, resistance to embrittlement.
alloy
Vacuum-grade    Super alloy additions for turbine blade        Increase in high temperature
ferro-niobium   applications in jet engines and land-based     resistance and corrosion resistance,
and nickel-     turbines. Inconel family of alloys, super      oxidation resistance, improved creep
niobium         alloys.                                        resistance, reduced erosion at high
                                                               temperatures.




                                                 12
      JAN SCHOLTEN ON NIOBIUM

To begin a discussion of Niobium metallicum as a homeopathic remedy, we
must first look to element theory, the invaluable work of Dr. Jan Scholten.
Niobium occurs at stage five, or column five, in the Silver series in between
Zirconium and Molybdenum. In this stage, the individual prepares but
doubts how they will achieve their goals. There is a tentativeness that causes
them to remain in the proposing or temporary phase. Other caveats on their
success include provisory, conditional, unrealistic, postponing, avoiding,
alternating and tantalizing. As Dr. Rajan Sankaran puts it, in Sankaran’s
Schema 2005, “ “Do I have the ability or not?” “Should I go ahead or not?” 4
Along the fifth row, known as the Silver series, we see the artist, the need to
explore the new, to be creative and inspired, to perform and to be
appreciated for their talents and efforts.


The following material is reprinted from Jan Scholten’s Homeopathy and the
Elements with permission from the author.


Scholten proposes the following concepts of Stage Five:
Preparing, Advance guard, Scouts, Proposal, Doubt, Postponing, Evading,
Preposterous, Unrealistic, Alternating, Torture, Tantalizing


Niobium is found in the Silver series, which has the following themes:
Creation, Inspiration, Ideas, Culture, Unique, Admiration, Aesthetics, Beautiful,
Ugly, Show, Performance, Queen, Ambition, Hurt, Humiliation, Sexuality,
Middle age, Town, Province, Science, Mysticism, Voice, Hearing


Scholten’s Group Analysis:
  Doubt whether they will be able to develop their creative talent.
  Doubt whether they are very special.
  Hesitation in the development of ideas.
  Indecisive whether they will exert their influence or not.
  Art is an impossible task.
  Unrealistic ideas about their creations.


4 Rajan Sankaran, Schema 2005


                                       13
  Preparing their performance.
  Evading their talents.
  Preliminary creations: nothing gets finished.
  Avoiding admiration.
  Alternating admiration.
  Tormented by ambition.
  Tormented by not showing their talents.
  Alternating use of voice: stammering.


Scholten’s Picture of Niobium:
  Essence: Hesitation and doubt whether to show their creativity


  --Doubt about their creativity -
   They have a great desire to show their creative talents but they haven't got
the courage. Sometimes they make a tentative start but they are soon
overcome by doubts again: 'Can I really create something beautiful?' They
keep hesitating. They are afraid to open an exhibition, to hold a speech, to
show their acting abilities. Anything that needs an audience is put off, they
don't even know which of their works to exhibit.
   At the same time they like to be special and different and they may resort
to other, easier ways to stand out in acrowd, for instance by arriving much
too late for a party or by wearing extraordinary clothes. Anything as long as it
isn't what everybody else is doing.


  --Unrealistic ideas about what they have to offer -
   They are not very realistic about their artistic or scientific talents. They
are not very good at judging their own capacities and the possibilities that are
available in the outside world. Their ideals to make the world a better place
can sound very naive.


  --Art is an impossible task-
   They are inclined to set their goals too high, to aim for something that is
impossible to achieve, to create something that is absolutely perfect. But this
also means that the task soon becomes a burden, and the mere thought of
their plans makes them feel tired. Everything becomes a must and what used
to be an enjoyable pastime now becomes a strain.



                                      14
   Another variation is that their ideas are by no means impossible but they
don't realize this themselves. They underestimate their talents and because
they are unsure about what they can achieve they also don't know whether to
carry on or not. Nobody, themselves included, is quite sure if and how they
should proceed.
 --Preparing the show –
   Because they are so hesitant about their performance they tend to make a
big deal out of the preparations. They spend hours thinking things over and
making a big fuss over trivialities. They are very likely to get stuck at this
stage and never get any further than the preparations. The type of person
who has to have their desk cleared, the studio tidied, everything perfectly
arranged, but he stops short of the actual task in hand.
  --Postponing creations-
   They postpone their performance because they don't know their lines
perfectly yet. They postpone the exhibition because they haven't got a large
enough collection yet. They can't publish the result of their research because
there are a few details they haven't looked at yet. Everything has to be so
perfect that they never get round to a realistic performance or product.


  --Evading their talents -
   They start something and soon give up again. Small obstacles on the way
are seen as proof of their lack of talent.
   Later on we'll see that they start to evade their talent, they would rather
not talk about it. They are tired of all that time they spent hesitating and
trying this, trying that, and what have they achieved? Hardly a thing. They
don't see the point anymore and become quite apathetic. Daydreaming is a
nice escape, lots of ideas about how successful they could have been. Partying
is another way of diverting the mind, they want to laugh and talk and have a
good time, as if they are celebrating their success after a fantastic
performance.


      --Avoiding admiration -
  They would really like to be the centre of attention, but they don't really
dare. And at the same time they feel hurt if they aren't. They have difficulty
accepting a compliment because they feel they haven't done anything to
deserve it. When they do get a compliment they tend to say something like:
'Oh, it's nothing', or 'He doesn't know what real art looks like' etc.


  --Alternating admiration-
  Their moods can be quite changeable, one moment full of energy to start
something creative, the next moment they don't want to do anything. They

                                       15
are easily enthused about an artistic project, but at the first obstacle they
tend to lose their spirit. They want to be good at something but they lack the
perseverance to make a go of it.


  --Hurt ambitions -
   One of their characteristics is that they feel special, a little bit above the
ordinary man. They have difficulty accepting authority or having to answer to
a superior. They prefer to be their own boss, nobody who stands above them.
They may refuse to do their military service to show that their ideas are
stronger than the powers that be. They feel that they'll risk losing their
integrity when others have power over them.
   They are also easily hurt and innocent remarks are likely to upset them
very much. They get touchy and irritable especially when others don't pay
due respect to them. Criticism or failure is likely to leave its mark on them.
They might never forget a trauma even if it happened years ago, for instance
when they move up to a higher grade school and their results are suddenly
mediocre instead of excellent, so they don't get the admiration they used to
receive.
   In order to reduce their vulnerability they build up a shield of hardness or
arrogance, pretending that nothing can touch them. But most of all they'll try
to remain one step ahead of any possible criticism. If their work is absolutely
perfect nobody will be able to comment on it. They might also get jealous of
the success of others. The whole issue of success is very difficult for them.
  Through their lack of experience they are bound to make mistakes now
and then and this immediately confirms their belief that they are incapable of
success.
   Their delusion could be described as the feeling that a nasty brute is
waiting out there, ready to flatten them as soon as they choose to realize their
ideals, because that sort of thing is not meant to be.


  --Tormented by ambition -
They have great ambitions to be the best, to be special and different. Their
desire for praise and compliments is also very big. In this respect they are
very like Palladium. But Palladium will openly ask for it and gracefully
receives the compliments that are bestowed on him or her. Niobium find it
hard to receive compliments. Deep inside they feel that they deserve it, but
they have nothing to show for it yet. Or they may feel that they don't deserve
any praise because they really feel worthless. In both cases they'll brush off a
compliment with a nervous little laugh.
   In spite of this they still feel rather special and are keen to keep up a
certain status. They often look down on the sort life that ordinary people tend
to live, it is all a bit too vulgar to their taste. They are likely to come from a

                                       16
well to do family where they got the message to behave in an honourable
fashion. They have to be dignified, as a woman, as an artist etc. But on the
other hand they also got the message not to have any pretences. So they are
torn between having to be honourable and dignified, and on the other hand
not to have any pretences about what they can do and what they might
achieve.
   If we look at mythology we see that the chief complaint of the gods was
that Niobe ascribed her luck to her own efforts -to her own ego - instead of
thanking and honouring the gods. The gods punish her for her pride by killing
all her sons. When she still carries on singing her own praises they also kill
all her daughters.
  Back to present day life: these people might also enjoy watching others
who are not afraid to be the centre of attention.


  --Tormented because they don't show their talents -
   They daren't show their talents, partly because they are afraid of getting
hurt if nobody recognizes their excellence, and partly because if they are
afraid of getting too proud if they do receive a lot of praise. These fears are
the reason that they hide their wisdom, their creativity, their beauty, or their
talents until they have forgotten how lucky they really are, until they believe
that they have nothing to offer at all.


  --Alternating use of voice: stammering-
   The following voice problems may be part of their symptoms: hoarseness,
stammering (3), agg. tension, amel. rest, amel. singing and shouting, amel.
during interview, agg. after interviews, agg. discussions, agg. talking things
over. Difficulties talking, agg. thick tongue. They have a feeling for languages.


  --Niobe, the story -
In the story of Niobe, the queen of Thebe we can see several of the themes of
Niobium. Niobe is haughty, wants to compete with the goddesses, which is in
itself an impossible task. She is totally unrealistic about her talents. She
prides herself on her wisdom and spiritual insights, qualities that belong to
the Silver series. She is particularly proud of her seven sons and seven
daughters, the theme of sexuality and creativity, also part of the Silver series,
children being a special sort of creation. But Niobe is proud of having
produced children all by herself, forgetting that nature plays an equally
important part in this creation. An artist should be aware of a similar theme:
where does his inspiration come from?
  Another theme we find in Niobe's story is that she doesn't realize how
happy she really was until everything was taken away from her. The result is


                                       17
that Niobe turns into a weeping stone, crying to the end of her days. The
sadness is about the children who have died, the talents that never had a
chance to be developed, or the pride that was too big.
  The top sportsman who keeps hesitating; the sportsman keeps hesitating,
should he concentrate on the 100 metres or the 400 metres? He never makes a
choice; he never gets down to one particular specialty.
  --Expressions -
  Fears: heights, narrow spaces, shows, performances, speeches, failure,
ambition, pride, spiders, exams.
   Dreams: heights, falling, musicals, competitions, exams, mistakes, not
reaching what he wants, feeling nothing, having to achieve a lot, washing,
laundry, pursued, water.
  Irritability: agg. hurt and humiliation.
   Mood: haughty, restless, hurried, busy, nervous, sadness, flat, dull,
'frozen', crying.
  Mental: repetitive thoughts; cannot rid themselves of certain thoughts.
  Sexual: quick orgasm.
  Hobbies: all forms of art and science: music, guitar, dance, theatre,
painting, weaving, literature, and hypnosis.
  Professions: artist, painter, writer, singer, musician, teacher, scientist,
doctor, priest, bishop, shaman, vicar, governor, secretary, representative,
advertising agent, public relations officer, top sports man, -woman.
  Causes: disasters, hurt, humiliation.
  Characteristics.
  Locality: left.
  Weather: cold, cold feet, agg. cold (2); agg. damp; desire amel. outside,
wind; agg.
  Desires: spices, pepper (2), bitter, green peppers, radish (?).
  Aversion: milk, chestnuts (?).
  Menses: profuse.
  Sleep: sleepy, shocks on falling asleep. 5
   4   Jan Scholten, Homeopathy and the Elements (Netherlands: Stichting
       Alonnissos, 2002), p. 557-562




                                       18
      TRANSITION ELEMENTS AND LANTHANIDES

As previously discussed, Niobium is the chemical element with atomic
number 41 in Group 5, period 5 in the transition metals. The transition
metals include all elements in the sub-series Lanthanides and Actinides of
the inner-transition elements and at least part of the sub-series
Transactinides, which are the elements following the Actinides series. They
are known as transition elements because their position in the periodic table
is between s-block and p-block elements. The transitional elements have
incompletely filled d-orbital in their atoms or ions in their common oxidation
states. 2
In their book,“Universal Mineral Materia Medica,” Dr. Ramesh Jain and Dr.
Smita Trivedi give the following properties of the transition elements:
            1) They have increasing properties in the same group like
               density, colouring, electro-positivity, reactivity, stable
               compound formation, magnetic properties, radioactivity, etc.
            2) They have horizontal gradation in properties, and similar
               actions, which is absent in s-block (Group IA and IIA) and p-
               block (Group IIIA to VIIA) elements.
            3) They are inert and passive but act better when finely
               powdered. Stability of compounds increases with increase in
               valency in an element.
            4) They form complexes and coloured salts. Their lower valency
               compounds are coloured.
            5) They show magnetic and para-magnetic properties.
            6) Their melting point, boiling point and densities are high.
            7) Their density goes on increasing in horizontal level as well as
               in vertical group.
            8) Their ionic radius and volume increase in the group while in
               series decrease with increase in atomic number.
            9) They are very good conductors of heat and electricity. They are
               resistant to heat and can tolerate heat better.
            10) They have tendency to form covalent bond in the series while
               they form ionic bond in the group with increase in atomic
               number. 6

2 www.environmentalchemistry.com/yogi/chemistry/dictionary/T02.html#
Transition%20Metals

6 Dr. Ramesh D. Jain and Dr. Smita Trivedi, Universal Mineral Materia
Medica (Mumbai: Jain Homoeopathic Pharmacy, 2000) p. 184

Alkalinity decreases (i.e. acidity increases) in series whereas increases in the
group with increase in atomic numbers.

                                       19
Dr. Jain and Dr. Trivedi go on to give the common indications of Group IIIB
to VIIB and VIII:
              NOTE: Where the authors specify for the individual elements, only
              the information on Niobium is reprinted here.
       General indications and sphere of action of all the elements are almost
same as they have slight gradation in their physical and chemical properties:
only depth of action is different. As atomic number increases in the series
(horizontal) depth decreases. In the group from above downward depth
increases as atomic number increases.
Ailments from: Mortification, vexation, injustice, contradiction, mental and
physical exertion, masturbation, sexual excess, sunstroke, working in hot
climates like near hot furnaces, engines, etc; working in nuclear or atomic
plants, in industries like dye, ceramics, steel, handling of chemical and
inhaling fumes (occupational hazards), etc.

   1. Direction of action: Centripetal action. The cause of the disease lies
      within the body and expressions starts from periphery i.e. centre to
      periphery.
   2. Miasm: Sycotic: All the elements in these groups and their salts are
      sycotic. Tubercular: All the elements in these groups and their salts are
      tubercular. Syphilitic: Elements and salts of Lanthanides, Actinides
      series Hf+3, Ta+1, W+3, Re+3 are syphilitic.
   3. Constitution: Ionic radius decreases in the series with increase in
      atomic numbers. Volume does not alter much in the series or in the
      group as compared to increase in weight. Niobium is average in build.
They form complexes and coloured salts. They form pigmentation on the
skin and mucous membrane. Secretions and discharges are coloured (in the
reduced form) or they are colourless (in the oxidized form).
   4. Inflammation and pain: Group VB: V<Nb<Ta
   5. Sphere of action: Disturbance of protein, carbohydrate and fat
      metabolism.
          a. Skin and mucous membrane: Inflammation, irritation,
             ulceration; and pigmentation. Skin diseases like eczema,
             psoriasis, vitiligo, etc.
          b. Eye: Irritation and inflammation; photophobia; visual
             disturbances.
          c. Ear: Hearing decreased; tinnitus; degeneration at bony level and
             deafness or hearing loss due to conduction defect.
          d. GIT: Acidity, ulcer, liver - fatty degeneration; spleen –
             enlargement, pancreas – diabetes.
          e. RS: Irritation, inflammation, degeneration and cancerous
             condition of lings, nasal cavity, bronchus.
          f. CVS: Fatty degeneration, cardiomyopathy, hypertension.
          g. GUT: Kidney – inflammation, degeneration; nephritis, nephritic


                                      20
            syndrome, renal failure.
        h. Male: Impotence; organs relaxed.
        i. Uterus and ovary: Irregularity in menstruation; ovarian cyst;
            cervical erosion; uterine tumour, cancer
        j. Skeleton: Bone, blood – osteoporosis, immature blood cells,
            anemia, and hemoglobinopathies.
        d-block elements and their salts convert simple basic organic
        molecules into complex organic complexes like vitamins,
        hormones, colouring pigments, nucleic acids, RNA, DNA, genes and
        maturing factors, etc.
6. Tongue, taste and discharges: Tongue pale, loss of papillae; glossitis,
    aphthous mouth, pigmented.
        a. Discharges are soapy, stringy, yellowish, greenish, thin and
            lumpy
7. Depth of action: The depth of action increases in the group as the
    atomic number increases. Gradation of properties and similarities in
    action at the tissue level. All are used in alteration in function,
    structural and pathological changes. They form covalent bond in series
    i.e. they are easily replaced by the elements during their oxidation and
    reduction. They form ionic bond with elements in same group i.e. their
    bonds are strong with group elements.
8. pH reaction: Alkalinity decreases in series while acidity increases in
    the group with increase in atomic number. In the series alkalinity and
    electro-positivity decreases (alkaline organs function and structure are
    impaired), while in the group alkalinity and electro-positivity increases
    (alkaline organs’ function and structure increases).
9. Thermal modality: Group VB – chilly
10. Sensitivity and susceptibility (reactivity): They act as messengers or
    catalysts in the reaction. Metals are inert at room temperature; they
    are active in their ionic form. As the valency increases they are more
    active and form stable compounds. They require high energy for their
    activation. Energy required for activation of metals into ions:
    Ta<Nb=V
11. Reversible or irreversible changes: Stability of the compounds
    increases with increase in valency. The compounds become stable on
    losing electron i.e. on oxidation. Coloured compounds are formed by
    lower valency ions or reduced ions of d-block elements.
12. Electro-magnetic forces: They show magnetic and paramagnetic
    properties. They are influenced by magnetic forces and can induce the
    attractive force temporarily. They do not show diamagnetic (repelling)
    properties.
13. Guiding indications:
        a. All are required for growth, strength, weight and vitality in
            general. They are nutritional trace elements. They increase
            resistant power in the body and prevent damage and wear and

                                   21
          tea of the cells, tissues and muscles of the body.
      b. All can be used for congenital abnormalities and hormonal
          imbalance.
      c. Prevents degeneration of cells and enhances repair and healthy
          growth of cells.
      d. Useful for sensory organ affection viz. ear, eye, skin, tongue, etc.
              i. There is loss of function of the organ or they become
                  hypersensitive to touch, noise, light, pain, etc.
      e. Numbness, tingling and crawling sensations all over the body
          especially in extremities (both upper and lower) and face.
      f. Leukemia and anemia and other blood disorders like
          hemophilia, thalassemia, sickle cell anemia, etc.
      g. As all are resistant to heat they are used for bad effect caused by
          sunstroke, heat, working in hot climates, near hot furnaces,
          engines, at climacteric period, etc.
14. Mind: Persons belonging to Group IIIB to VIIB has symptoms of
    emotion and intellect. They have control on action and behaviour.
      a. During health the person is extrovert and social. This person is a
          growing person. He is immature, childish and inexperienced. He
          has unbounded energy and capacity. His activities are
          premature, incomplete and multi-directional. He wants to do
          everything rapidly. His speed is difficult to control. He has no
          definite way or systematic plan of working. He can be directed
          easily. He cannot contradict or oppose others. His capacity is
          hidden in a dormant state. He underestimates his own potential.
          He compares different possibilities and adopts what suits him
          best. He tries all sorts of things. Ideas and concepts differ from
          time to time. He easily gets convinced by others and cannot
          judge properly.
      b. During the disease state there is abnormal growth. He is
          immature, childish, and inexperienced. He has unbounded
          energy. His activities are premature, incomplete and multi-
          directional. (No ideas—amateur—maturity or perfectionism
          travel from left to right in the series.)
          The persons belonging to this group are gradually differentiated
          and maturity evolves at all levels, mental, intellectual, physical
          and social, as the atomic number increases. Concentration is
          difficult for them. They have a lack of self-confidence and are
          averse to touch.
          Multidirectional activities are gradually confined to
          unidirectional activities to achieve the goal. Once they have
          started, difficult to withdraw. They have creative ideas, which
          are original. They become insensitive to the surroundings,
          nothing can stop them. They are determinate to reach the goal.
          They are precautious and look as if they are cowards. They have


                                   22
             high bearing capacity, are sensitive, but do no get irritable easily
             on provocation or contradiction. They cannot be controlled
             easily. They do not require sympathy. They always want
             company; always remain in a group or act in a group.
             The intellectual faculty i.e. memory, perception, will,
             understanding, discrimination, perception, speech, various
             action and behaviour, etc. get deteriorated in the disease state.
             Higher centres of brain lose control over the body. There is
             increase in mistakes in speaking, words misplacing and using
             wrong words. Moods are changeable and alternating. Psoric
             phases change to sycotic and to syphilitic and he loses control
             over the brain and body. He is loquacious. He wants to run away
             and attempts to escape. He wants to be naked. The person
             becomes mortified and complaints develop after vexation.

   15. Modalities: Aggravation before menses, touch, noise, new moon, full
       moon; Amelioration by pressure, in open air, after menses, rest,
       rubbing.
   16. Remedy relationship: Group IIIB to VIIB elements are used in cationic
       form with anions of Group IIIA to VIIA elements during generalized
       infection and during toxicity in dynamic potency or Group IIIB to VIIB
       cations in physiological ionic doses with dynamic doses of Group IIIA
       to VIIA. Antidotes to and follows well: IIIB to VA; IVB to IVA; VB to
       IIIA; VIB to IIB; VIIB to IB.
       All the groups from IIIB to VIIB have similarity in properties wit its ‘A’
       group partner i.e. IIIA to VIIA respectively; they are complementary to
       each other. They share the electrons and form covalent bond with
       horizontal elements. They get precipitated or replaced by higher
       atomic number elements in the same group.
       NIOBIUM: (Niobium oxide Nb2O5)
       Mind: Niobium has put Titanium plans into creative action. He is
       afraid or hesitates to show his talent, as he does not have that much
       courage. He underestimates his talent. His aim or goal is too high. He
       does not publish his research work as he finds new faults in it. He
       postpones or avoids his publicity. He rather feels awkward in
       accepting compliments, as he thinks he has not done anything to
       deserve it. He cannot make a final decision so he as piled up unfinished
       files. He is clear-hearted. He feels a little superior to his colleagues, so
       will suffer from diarrhea, stammering<nervousness, anxiety, fear, etc.
       7

7 Dr. Ramesh D. Jain and Dr. Smita Trivedi, Universal Mineral Materia
Medica (Mumbai: Jain Homoeopathic Pharmacy, 2000) pp. 184-188




                                        23
      PRE-PROVING



Prover number six, a forty-five year old female proved the mental and
emotional aspects of Niobium to the extent that her homeopath subsequently
treated her with various potencies of Niobium for over a year. She was a first
year student at the school in the midst of leaving a career in classical singing.
Niobium assisted her in this process of disengaging in the singing career
fraught with disappointment and finding a new, more satisfying path in
homeopathy. The following is an excerpt from her introduction to her report
on the period following the proving entrance meeting, prior to the taking of
the remedy.


“Walking around the neighborhood with two classmates during our lunch
break, I tripped and fell on my face as I recalled an important dream that I
had about 12 years ago. I was not hurt, but definitely shaken. In this dream, I
had enough money to buy two houses. The first was shining emerald green,
connected to the earth by being part of a living tree. In the house was my dad
and a pipe organ. The second house is up the hill. It’s white with pillars. As I
approach it, the road crumbles beneath my feet. I understand that the road is
not completed, and I accept the green, shining house instead. This is the
moment in recalling the dream that I fell on my face. I went back to class
feeling spacey and like my defenses were definitely down, seeking Arnica.”
We drove by a house in Vancouver that resembled the white house in the
dream from different directions twice before the proving was finished, the
second time on the way to the proving exit meeting.”


       IN CLASS FOLLOWING THE PROVING EXIT MEETING

At the beginning of class, the day following the exit meeting for the proving,
Laurie Dack asked prover number six if she would come to the front of the
class to tell about the proving. After a moment of hesitation, Laurie asked if
she was shy. A classmate said that if Laurie knew what she did for a living,
she wouldn’t ask that question, and told her of her work as an opera singer.
As soon as she knew this, Laurie asked if she would sing for the class. She
sang an original setting of the Aramaic Lord’s Prayer, translation by Neil
Douglas-Klotz, as follows:




                                       24
Oh, Birther, Father, Mother of the Cosmos,
You who create all that move in Light.
Focus your Light within us; Make it useful.
Create your reign of unity now
Through our fiery hearts and willing hands.
Your one desire then acts with ours,
As in all Light so in all forms.
Grant what we need each day in bread and insight.
Loose the cords of mistakes binding us
As we release the strands we hold of others guilt.
Don’t let surface things delude us,
But free us from what holds us back.
From You is born all ruling will, the power and life to do,
The song that beautifies all
From age to age it renews.
Truly power to these statements!
May they be the ground from which all my actions grow.
Sealed in trust and faith. Amen.




                                       25
Mind;
MISTAKES,        MIND (THEMES)
making;
Calculating     * Denotes mind themes that also occur in the ‘DREAMS’
in (1 prover)   section

                * MISTAKES
Mind;
MISTAKES,       My cash was over at work. I have not made a mistake like this in
making;         six years. #3, Day 4
Writing, in
                Making lots of spelling and grammatical errors writing today. #3,
(1 prover)
                Day 6

                Spelling is terrible, but can’t help it even when I know the correct
Mind;
                spelling of a word! #3, Day 19
MISTAKES,
making;         My kids told me that after I made lunch, I put the cheese back in
Actions, in     the refrigerator without any covering. I had no recollection of this
(4 provers)     and found it embarrassing. #8, Day 2

                I left my purse in my unlocked car for about an hour, something I
                would never do. #8, Day 8

                I lost the office key, had to tell the boss, then found it in the office.
                I stayed strong. #9, Day 1

                Missing less details at work. #9, Day 4
Mind;
MISTAKES,       Left work early because of a holiday and could not figure out the
making;         combination to my locker, which I use without difficulty 8 or 10
Talking;        times a week. I became panicked and afraid and almost teary. I
wrong;          felt feeble and was very afraid to have to get help. #3, Day 15
words, using
                  A lot of mental confusion today compared to yesterday’s clarity.
(1 prover)      I pulled the keys out of my jacket when I left work and got in my
                car only to realize that I had left my jacket hanging there. I went
                to get my jacket and a colleague came running out with my lunch
Mind;           bag that was sitting with my other stuff. I had forgotten that, too.
MISTAKES,       #12, Day 3
making;
Time, in        I got to the school and was trying to explain something to a parent
(1 prover)      and I couldn’t put the thoughts together for it to come out of my
                mouth properly. I was agitated because of not being able to say
                what I wanted to say. #12, Day 3

                I went to bed at midnight, no, 12:24 a.m., but it’s daylight savings


                                             26
              and the clocks were moved ahead. I woke up at 1:30 a.m.
Mind;         confused. Lights were on downstairs. I was afraid that we had a
HEAVENLY      robber and he was stealing the computer downstairs. I finally
Sensation     realized that my husband was no longer in bed. He must have
              gotten up again without my noticing. I woke up shortly after 8:00
(1 prover)    a.m. and I panicked because I thought that it was really 9:00 a.m.
              and I had to leave really fast for clinic. I grabbed my clothes and
              rushed into the shower. As I was finishing my shower I
Mind;         remembered that I had already changed my clock and that 8:00
POSITIVE-     a.m. was the true time, meaning I still had an hour. I felt so
NESS          confused. I had a couple of glasses of wine last night, likely
(3 provers)   contributing to the confusion. #12, Day 7



              CONTENT/HAPPY

              Feeling good today - emotionally balanced and content with life.
              #1, Day 9

              Feeling deeply peaceful, no strong desire for anything. #10, Day 10

              Feeling very positive and on top of things. Got paid and made lots
              of fun weekend plans. I feel free! #11, Day 6

              I feel fine and confident, but I sound really sick. It’s quite
              entertaining! #11, Day 13

              In good spirits, despite having a harsh cold and having to go to
              work. I felt a strange freedom from the everyday humdrum. #11,
              Day 15

              I am much more able to relax, less uptight about things. Blissed
              out. #10, Day 8

              Awoke feeling refreshed, clear, alert, more aware, centred and
              strong. #9, Day 4



              * CONNECTING WITH OTHERS

              I cried on the phone with my sister, talked much about my ex-
              partner and I, and felt better at the end of our talk. I made steps in
              closeness with my sister. #2, Day 17

              This same friend called me up later and sad, “I don’t know why
              but I feel you’re the one I need to talk to. You’re the one who may


                                          27
                 be able to help me in some way.” I said, “Sure, okay,” without
                 hesitation. I felt that I wanted to take care of her in some way.
                 #10, Day 3

                 A friend from my past recently contacted me and we got together.
                 I hadn’t spent any time with her for over three years. I had felt
                 angry with her, feeling that she had not “sided” with me when I
                 felt that I had been done wrong by another friend. On seeing her,
                 I felt a huge heart opening and any bad feelings I had had resolved
                 themselves. She is going through a hard time and I felt genuinely
                 compassionate. #10, Day 3
Mind;
SOCIABIL-        I talked with a long distance friend this morning. I felt connected
ITY              and completely at ease and grateful for the friendship. #10, Day 8

(2 provers)      I’m very excited and content. I got a phone call that woke me up
                 from a friend who lives far away. She made me laugh this
                 morning. I’m a little nervous about the day ahead because it’s my
Mind;            birthday. #11, Day 19
CONNEC-
TION; Feeling    I felt really fed up today. I’m sick of working around the wine, the
of (4 provers)   smell and the chemicals. I snapped out of it around 1:00 p.m.
                 when an old friend that I thought I had lost touch with, dropped
                 in. Just after he left, a girlfriend came in. She’s going through a
Mind:            difficult time. I had a lot of clarity in discussing her situation with
DETACHED         her. I felt very calm and connected to the situations. #12, Day 9
(3 provers)
                 I was in a good mood today, accomplished a lot at home, visited
                 with neighbours, planned and even for tomorrow, felt very social.
Mind:            My head was clear, I was thinking well. #12, Day 12
DETACHED;
Observing
from the
                 * DETACHED
outside, as if
(2 provers)       Lots of heavy emotional issues are coming up with family.
                  Feeling compassionate but detached. #4, Day 15


                  Extremely irritated and frustrated during talk with lawyer. I felt
                  detached and disconnected. #4, Day 16

                  Experiencing a stronger sense of personal boundaries.
                  #4, Day 18

                  This remedy has violence, a sense of watching as though numb,
                  and sadness with issues around self-worth. I found myself
                  thinking about a young woman putting her infant through the


                                             28
               washer and dryer in my house. It was a daydream. I was
               watching, numb. #6, Day 9

               In the staff room I had a sense of disassociation. I felt
               disconnected, removed from things, almost like I wasn’t even
               there. Not relating to coworker as I usually do. #8, Day 1

               I’m less stressed out about time and it seems to work out okay. I
Mind:
               wasn’t rushed this morning but I still made it to work on time.
THOUGHTS;
               #11, Day 3
Distracted
(3 provers)    Thoughts come quickly. Feeling mental clarity. I am also feeling
               emotionally stable. I found out about the death of a client
               yesterday and I did not cry. This was unusual for me. Normally
               tears would come, even now just talking about it. #12, Day 2

               I had an argument with my husband at dinner. He flew off the
               handle, blowing the situation way out of proportion. I remained
               calm and collected. I accepted that our relationship is on the
               surface and will remain there. #12, Day 12



              “SPACED OUT”/DISTRACTED

              Walking home from work had the “spacey” almost “high” feeling.
              Easily distracted, lost in thought. Arrive home feeling unaware of
              most of the blocks I walked. #1, Day 2

              Spaced out, not there, mind wandering, hard to focus, distracted.
              #8, Day 2

              I feel normal, though someone at work said that I look like
              someone whose mind is elsewhere. #8, Day 5

              A bit “spacey” and can’t make up my mind about anything. I
              couldn’t even make up my mind about eating breakfast – when
              and what? So, I didn’t eat breakfast. I am mentally tired, but calm
              emotionally. Not so teary. #2, Day 18

              Not motivated and everything distracts me, but I am not bothered
              by this. #2, Day 4




                                        29
                ALONE/UNSUPPORTED

                I am wondering how I’m going to support myself, not in the
                money way, but emotionally. I am so used to living with someone
                else. #2, Day 3

                I feel like I don’t have any support or guidance for emotional or
Mind;           spiritual matters. #2, Day 6
FORSAKEN
                Very “bluesy.” Feel like withdrawing, that all is quite hopeless
(2 provers)     and that I’d like to stay in bed all day. Felt better after a workout.
Mind;           #3, Day #4
COMPANY;
Aversion to,    The feeling of “just leave me alone” is strong. I don’t want anyone
agg.;           to ask me for anything today. I feel used up, spent. At 6:30 pm. I go
solitude,       to bed to be quiet and alone, though I am not adverse to my
desire for      daughter’s company.       #10, Day 1
(2 provers)     Want to be alone. Hug from roommate bothered me. Feeling
                really unsupported, but still want to be alone. #2, Day 1
Mind; LOVE;     I had a big cry at 8:00 p.m. over my ex-partner. I felt empty, so sad
Children, for   and lonely, totally alone. #2, Day 16
(1 prover)

                * CHILDREN & FAMILY LOVE

Mind; LOVE;       Children are more receptive to me. One my Mom baby-sits
Family, for     crawled up on my lap and caressed by face. Everyone is kind to
(1 prover)      me, making me feel like they’re showering me with nice feelings,
                like overflow. When I walk in the kids are all over me. #10, Day 5

                My daughter woke me by stroking my hair and caressing my face,
                telling me how much she loves me. This felt genuine and it
                occurred to me how much she really loves me. #10, Day 5

                I am feeling a deep love for my family, deeper than ever before.
                This type of love wants nothing, which seems odd, because in this
                wanting nothing, I feel that I have everything. #10, Day 8

                Driving with my daughter today, she spontaneously said, “You
                know, Mom, you’re really nice and very loveable.” She’s never
                said anything like that to me before. She has continued to be
                openly loving towards me. In the evening, she put her arms
                around me and said, “I don’t know why, but I just feel so much


                                            30
                   love for you.” #10, Day 10

                   I feel more understanding towards my mother. I realize that even
Mind;              though we have different outlooks, she has strong religious ideas,
MOTHER,            but deep down we are really the same. On a fundamental level I
Aversion to        saw more similarities than differences. It is simply the
(1 prover)         expressions that are different. #10, Day 15

Mind;              I want to be alone. My mother asked me for help with paperwork
SADNESS;           and I felt really resistant to help her. I was quite annoyed and had
Weeping amel.      to remind myself to go with the flow. This scenario is common for
(1 prover)         us. My level of resistance was different. #10, Day 1

Mind;
SADNESS;
Weeping;           WEEPY/TEARY
impossible
                   I am teary in the morning; very sad but not able to really weep. A
(1 prover)         walk at the beach relieves, and I weep. I feel better afterwards. All
Mind;              day I am close to tears, but don’t cry again. I feel constricted and
WEEPING,           raw. #2, Day 6
tearful mood;
General; music,    Cried on the phone to my supervisor, feeling really stupid for
from               taking Arnica, like I’m a stupid child and I have wasted the adults’
                   time with my lack of thought about consequence. I talked about
(1 prover)         crying about my ex-partner and my worry that maybe I shouldn’t
* Mind;            have taken part in the proving. I am slow to react emotionally and
WEEPING,           now I am reacting while I’m supposed to be proving. #2, Day 17
tearful mood;
General;           Emotionally very sensitive. Cried a lot during the day and had a
without emotion    big fight with my boyfriend. #5, Day 14
(1 prover)         Very emotional and feeling very appreciative of the dear friends
Mind;              that I have. I feel weepy and lovey-dovey. I went to a music
SYMPATH-           performance and held hands and wept with my friends. I told
ETIC,              them how important they are to me. We had fun. #11, Day 7
compassionate;
Animals, cats,     Without emotion, tears shot into my eyes while talking with my
felines; towards   boyfriend about his problems. #5, Day 1

(1 prover)
*Mind:
DELUSION;
Animals, of,       * CAT
cats, felines;
pursued by          Agitated today. The cat is sick – diarrhea and vomiting. Since I
(1 prover)         have to leave tomorrow for school, I am worried. The vet says to


                                                31
                    give antibiotics for the next 5 days. Since the owners of the cat
                    want this, I must. I haven’t been able to do anything but deal with
                    the cat. My mind is restless. #2, Day 19, 20
*Mind;               The cat hasn’t bitten me or scratched me since the start of the
CONCENT-            proving. He is bugging me less. (Symptom disappeared during the
RATION;             proving.)#10, Day 10
Difficult;
Sciatica, with
(1 prover)
Mind;               MENTAL FOG/LACK OF CONCENTRATION
CONCENT-
RATION;             I feel listless, without motivation and my concentration is
Difficult;          difficult. Sciatica is getting very troubling. Looking forward to this
evening; agg.       proving being over! #3, Day 17
(1 prover)          I am unable to follow and concentrate on important issues at
Mind;               night. #5, Day 2
CONCENT-
RATION;             Foggy and brain-dead because I’m hung over. I want to take Nux
Impossible          vomica, but I won’t! Slept most of the day. #11, Day 7
(1 prover)          I am mentally fatigued and having a very difficult time studying or
Mind;               focusing on anything. #2, Day 12
CONCENT-
RATION;             Not as mentally sharp as I could be, a bit foggy in the head.
Difficult; fixing   #11, Day 13
attention
impossible          I feel fine but also a bit foggy because of my cold. I am also a little
                    worried about my voice for work tomorrow. #11, Day 14
(2 provers)
*Mind:              Was focused for the most part at school, but felt that my mental
DULLNESS;           capacity was restrained, not from the norm, but from my
Veil, heavy,        potential. #2, Day 20
buffering the
                    Still seem to have a bit of fog happening in my head today. It’s like
outside world
                    a veil over my head buffering the outside world from the inside
(1 prover)          world with a slight heaviness. #12, Day 4
Mind;
                    Feeling mentally tired with so many scattered thoughts
PROSTRA-
                    swimming around. I need quiet time to relax and find balance.
TION of mind,
                    #12, Day 13
thoughts,
scattered           Not thinking clearly, feeling confused and impatient. This is a
(1 prover)          familiar mood. #8, Day 4




                                                32
Mind;
EXCITE-
MENT,             EMOTIONAL OUTBURST
excitable;
General; easily   Emotional outburst and crying at dinner break at work.
(7 provers)       #3, Day 11

Mind;             Feeling like I could explode while viewing the video of daughter’s
LAUGHING;         wedding. I wanted to scream and cry in disappointment and
General;          frustration. #4, Day 13
serious
matters, over     A kind of awkward behavior in which I am laughing about serious
                  situations. #5, Day 1
(1 prover)
                  My boyfriend thinks that I am very snappy and oversensitive,
                  reacting strangely. #5, Day 3
Mind;
DELUSIONS,
imaginations;
Boundaries;       EXPANSION/OPEN
personal,
dissolved,        In general, I am more open. I used to feel that giving out too much
between self      information about myself could somehow be used against me.
and others        Now it feels as if this all doesn’t matter somehow. #10, Day 3
(1 prover)        I went for tea with a good friend this morning. The usual dynamic
*Mind;            with her is she talks and I listen. Today was quite different as I
DELUSIONS,        found myself telling her more about myself. I talked about past
imaginations;     issues and things I had done that I was not proud of. I talked
Body, body        about past hurts and felt open, like a previous barrier was gone. I
parts; smaller,   felt relived. This same friend called me up later and sad, “I don’t
becoming,         know why but I feel you’re the one I need to talk to. You’re the one
expanded,         who may be able to help me in some way.” I said, “Sure, okay,”
then, normal      without hesitation. I felt that I wanted to take care of her in some
size, back to,    way. #10, Day 3
then
                  Thought that what is happening to me is an expansion, an opening
(1 prover)        up of my mind and body. The body is bursting and expanding
Mind;             with blood and my mind was also opening. I wanted to talk,
DELUSIONS,        express all of the thoughts that were bursting forth. #9, Day 1
Bursting          I had the sensation of becoming smaller and fading away, then
(1 prover)        growing larger and back to normal size. #9, Day 3
Mind;             I went for tea with a good friend this morning. The usual dynamic
                  with her is she talks and I listen. Today was quite different as I
DELUSIONS,        found myself telling her more about myself. I talked about past
Expanding
(1 prover)                                   33
                issues and things I had done that I was not proud of. I talked
                about past hurts and felt open, like a previous barrier was gone. I
                felt relieved. #10, Day 3
                Feeling much more open to social contacts. I didn’t realize how
                closed I was until I started being open. Even the various people I
                see throughout the day. With people I knew, I wouldn’t call them
Mind; IRRITA-   up to do something. Now people are calling me up do to
BILITY,         something more than usual and I’m going out and doing a lot
strangers,      more. I’m feeling more open about doing things and feeling better
with            about the social contact. It’s like a barrier is gone and I didn’t
                know it was there. #10, Day 4
(2 provers)


Mind: IM-       IRRITABLE/FRUSTRATED
PATIENCE
                Irritable; frustrated #1, Day 6, 7
(1 prover)
                Irritated. #8, Day 18

Mind;           I am easily frustrated with other people, especially strangers. #2,
SADNESS;        Day 12
Love
disappoint-     Easy frustration, annoyed by my tables at work. Even normal
ment, from      requests irritated me and it would take me a few minutes to
                recover. Offended easily. #2, Day 12
(1 prover)
                Extremely irritated and frustrated during talk with lawyer. I felt
                detached and disconnected. #4, Day 16

                Feeling agitated this afternoon and evening. My computer isn’t
                working; I’m sick of doing laundry; I’ve had enough standing at
                the sink doing dishes after being at the sink at work all day. I feel
                like things started to go downhill since that chocolate bar at 1:00
                p.m..#12, Day 3

                I was fairly impatient all day, yelling at people all the way to the
                clinic for not letting me in or turning onto the road in front of me,
                I wanted to work through all the patient cases today and got
                irritable with the others when they were off doing other things
                unrelated to the cases. #12, Day 7

                Restless and agitated and worried about the cat; worried about
                getting enough sleep; worried about the alarm going off; worried
                about money…and the list goes on. Forgot to call my supervisor
                this evening. #2, Day 20




                                            34
                 * LOST LOVE/JEALOUSY
Mind;
JEALOUSY;        I had a big cry at 8:00 p.m. over my ex-partner. I felt empty, so sad
Love;            and lonely, totally alone. #2, Day 16
disappoint-
ment, after
(1 prover)       Jealous of my ex-partner thinking of him spending time with a
                 female friend. Thinking of him possibly sleeping with her makes
                 me feel sick to my stomach. I was never jealous during our
Mind;            relationship, even when he did sleep with someone else.
DREAMS;          #2, Day 21
Child,
children,        Sad while seeing ex-partner. Wanted to be held by him but hold
about, danger,   myself back. I am being selfish asking him for comfort when I left
in               him. I cried on the way home from work and after dropping him
(1 prover)       off at home. #2, Day 15


Mind;
MEMORY;          * UNFINISHED BUSINESS
Active;
                 A miracle has occurred. Last night my oldest daughter went out
recollection,
                 for coffee with my ex-husband, father of my youngest daughter, as
involuntary
                 he was in town for a rare visit. (Since 1996, this is the third time he
(1 prover)       has come to visit.) My youngest daughter and my oldest’s fiancée
                 were also there. The oldest daughter was very nervous about this
                 meeting, but it was one she had requested. My ex-husband was
Mind;            extremely brutal to her from the time his own child was born in
DREAMS;          1986, until I finally left him in 1994. My daughter felt that she
Powerful         needed to see him, to show him that she has changed. I
(2 provers)      discouraged it, but respected her decision to go ahead. During the
                 visit, he congratulated her on her “impending marriage.” She, as
                 my daughter related it to me, guided most of the conversation.
Mind;            She spoke to him directly and was the one that did most of the
ANXIETY;         talking. There was no confrontation. As she got into the car
Conscience,      afterwards, she remembered that he had sexually abused her.
of,              This was something that we suspected, and have had her in front
unpardonable     of many a counselor for the past 10 years +. She called me and
sin, feels she   said that she was so very glad that she had done this, because she
has done the,    now saw him simply as a fat, old man who tells jokes that no one
and will be      gets, and who dresses badly. She saw herself as the powerful one.
eternally lost   I told her that she had always been the powerful one, and that he
                 had been so horrible to her because she would not give her power
(1 prover)
                 to him. She saw who he was when I did not, and resisted him
                 when I could not. I apologized for being unable to protect her

                                             35
                  from him. She said, “In your own convoluted way, Mom, you
                  raised me to be strong, so thank you. I wouldn’t be who I am
                  today otherwise” This was a tremendous release for my guilt-
                  ridden heart. #6, Day 12

                  I wanted to get things done that I have been putting off. I planted
                  the plants I bought two weeks ago. #11, Day 4
Mind; POST-
PONING,           Cancelled client for Friday and feeling clear not to sign the
everything to     contract to practice in this doctor’s clinic because of the onerous
next day          non-competition clause. I communicated clearly and strongly. He
                  tried to find fault with me. I told him I’d only received the contract
(1 prover)        yesterday and dealt with it immediately. He is angry because I’m
Mind;             in his newsletter. I’m not intimidated in the least by him. I feel so
COURA-            clear and strong. I have no doubts. Now I want to leave his
GEOUS             employment and I am sure about this. This has been trying to
                  happen for a long time, but I haven’t felt strong and clear enough.
(1 prover)        #9, Day 5

                  Old job feels abusive and disrespectful to me. The pay was too
Mind; TALK,       low and expectations and responsibilities too high. Have had
Talking, talks;   enough of the boss’s blaming nature. My partner will be away to
General;          finish his degree. I need a stable job with benefits and some
strength and      security and we have to move to less expensive housing for this
conviction,       time. Seems like everything is coming into focus since the
with              remedy. What needs to be done seems to be clearer. #9, Day 12
(1 prover)

                  EXCITED/NERVOUS
Mind;
EXCITE-           Feeling more excited and nervous than usual during the children’s
MENT,             programme at work. #8, Day 1
excitable;
Desire for        I feel as if the ride is over; all the excitement has gone and I have
(2 provers)       come back. Life is continuing, as normal and my head is clear. #8,
                  Day 3

                  I woke up this morning feeling that this proving is over, then
                  everything seemed dull, and then I went on with my day.
                  #10, Day 19




                                             36
Mind;           *MYSTICISM & SYNCHRONICITY
SYNCHRO-
NICITY,        My daughter said today, “Have you noticed how whenever we say
awareness of   anything lately it happens?” Many little synchronicities. For
               example, she will ask about someone we haven’t seen in years and
(2provers)     then we’ll see them on the street. #10, Day 14

               Aware of synchronicities: daughter asked, “Do you remember the
Mind;          sesame Street song you used to sing?” and then it came on the
STARTING,      radio; husband heard me say “the taps are bleeding,” instead of
startled;      the taps are leaking, referring back to the vampire dream. A few
Noise, from    dreams I’ve had have come true, though I can’t mention them
(1 prover)     without breaking confidence. #10, Day 5

               On the way to see the channeler, in the passenger’s seat of my
Mind; MOOD;    friend’s car, I found myself being drawn to looking to the right. As
Changeable,    I did, we passed the white house in the dream from the day of the
variable       initial proving meeting that caused me to fall on my face. I said, “I
               just saw the white house!” She said, “I am so happy for you.” The
(2 provers)    channeler is a Native healer. Over dinner with two other friends, I
               related the story of my dad, of the dream about the cup of blood,
               of the process of figuring out who he was, and about my
               experience contacting my dad after he had died. On the way to the
               Proving Exit Meeting in a different vehicle, different driver, we
               passed the white house again. On the way home, I felt heat
               throughout the middle of my body in waves. I felt the same waves
               of heat in the cab following the visit to the first channeler and
               again driving home from the airport on Sunday night.#6, Day 19,
               Day 20



                NOISE

                Startled easily from noises or sudden movements close by.
                #1, Day 2



               CHANGEABLE MOODS

               Extremely emotional. Polar day: very good mood during the day
               at class. At home afterwards, scared, teary, repeatedly saying,
               “fuck!” Not dealing well with adversity. #2, Day 1

               Yesterday I was excited and wanted to talk about my ideas and


                                          37
               feelings. By the time I got home I was tired and sluggish. I was
               supposed to call my supervisor, but really didn’t want to talk to
               her. I slept from 11:30 a.m. until 1:00 p.m.. #8, Day 2



               * CHILD IN DANGER

               I found myself thinking about a young woman putting her infant
               through the washer and dryer in my house. It was a daydream. I
               was watching, numb. #6, Day 9



Mind;          CONTRACTS
DISPUTA-
               Extremely irritated and frustrated during talk with lawyer. I felt
TIOUS
               detached and disconnected. #4, Day 16
(2 provers)
               Boss handed me a contract for me to practice homeopathy in his
               clinic. One client booked for Friday. The lawyer says that it’s a
Mind;          conflict of interest to answer the phones and also be in
DREAMS;        competition with the doctor for patients. The contract is onerous
Water; pipes   and not recommended. #9, Day 4
bursting
(1 prover)
               * WATER

               We had a flood today. Some pipes burst and the downstairs suite
               filled with water. I dealt with it and felt, “I’m a grownup!” I felt
               efficient and capable. I would have been overwhelmed before.
               #10, Day 4

               I had to call the plumber to reinstall the toilets and install a tap.
               He was under the sink and I heard him screaming, then yelling,
               like he was in pain and in a panic. He had tried to turn off the
               valve, turned it in the direction so that is should have been off, but
               hot water sprayed all over him. I was mildly spooked. It was thee
               same location as in my dream, down under the sink, trying to turn
               off the valves. He was burned, very red hands. I looked for blisters
               but he was okay. He said, “I don’t understand. I couldn’t turn it
               off.” There was water everywhere. My mother-in-law also had
               problems with water in a rental house. #10, Day 19




                                          38
                  * OVERWHELMED
Mind; HANDLE      Stressed from a very busy first day of work without my trainer. I
things anymore,   was contemplating whether or not I’d be able to continue this job
cannot,           because it was so extremely busy and impossible to keep up. #11,
overwhelmed by    Day 7
stress
(5 provers)       Feeling cynical, worn out, and tired, tired of looking after myself
                  and disciplining myself. At work I’m always looking after others. I
                  want to retire! I can’t believe I have another 30 years to go! #3,
Mind;             Day 5
DISCRIMIN-
ATION, lack of    Feeling overwhelmed with a busy day of meetings, appointments
                  and driving. Handled it well. Too much to do and need another
(1 prover)        job to get more money. #9, Day 1

                  Feeling that life is a struggle. #3, Day 9
Mind; NEWS
agg.; Bad         I picked up my daughter, came home, and turned into a bitch. Too
(1 prover)        much to do, too little time. I feel that there are too many
                  restrictions placed on me and it is confining. I am grumpy
                  towards husband and daughter. Snappish – I can hardly live with
Mind;             myself. #12, Day 9
HAUGHTY
(1 prover)
Mind;              NEGATIVE
CONFIDENCE;
Want of self
                   I have a more intuitive sense about the negative qualities of
(2 provers)        people. Usually I’m in blissful denial of the negative aspects of
                   people. #11, Day 3


                   Feeling crappy, having negative thoughts and some anxiety.
                   #4, Day 6


                   Woke up thinking of the murder/suicide in Airdrie. I shouldn’t
                   read the paper. #9, Day 1

                   Kind of an obnoxious presuming attitude that I’ve begun to
                   uncover. #11, Day 12

                   Many self-doubts today. #2, Day 17



                                              39
                   I feel quite low-spirited and unattractive. #6, Day 9



Mind;             * COLOURS
COLOURS;
                  I have a strong liking for turquoise. I want to buy turquoise
desires; green;
                  clothing. Picking out turquoise paint chips, my husband says we’ll
turquoise
                  wait until the proving is over to choose the new paint. #10, Day 8
(1 prover)
                  I went to pick out paint colours. Under the fluorescent lights with
                  so much choice, I felt disoriented, confused, dizzy, and nauseous,
Mind:             had the sweats and had to step away from everything. I couldn’t
COLOURS;          take so much stimulation. It really threw me. I thought I was
Overwhelmed       going to be sick to my stomach and I just wanted to go home to
by, many          bed. I composed myself and then went back to finish the job. The
(1 prover)        nausea that starts in the back of my head I have had before, but
                  I’ve never been so worked up over paint colours. #10, Day 15

*Mind;
LIGHTS;
                  * CONFUSION OF IDENTITY
fluorescent,
under             I am wondering who I am. I feel like I don’t know myself
                  anymore. #2, Day 3
(1 prover)
                    I was upset when one person I spoke to, the minister’s husband,
                  said that he could see in my eyes that I am a very troubled person.
Mind;             This annoyed me! Am I so troubled? I am troubled about the fate
CONFUSION         of my songs. I am troubled about how 45 I feel when I think about
of mind;          my daughter getting married, but I think that this type of
Identity, as to   “troubled” is transitory stuff. I am offended to be judged,
his               “troubled!” However, I do feel quite sorry for myself and I am
(2 provers)       wondering if I see myself as I really am. How different is the way
                  other people see me to the way I see myself? It’s all quite
                  annoying that I still have these sorts of questions at 45! #6, Day 7
Mind;
DREAMS;
Glass, of;
broken             *RESTRICTION/CONSTRICTION

(2 provers)       I am feeling that I don’t care about the proving anymore. It is
                  getting in the way of my routine and it feels like another
                  restriction. #12, Day 9
Mind;
DREAMS;
Blood
(1 prover)

                                             40
                * BLOOD/BROKEN GLASS
                 In a deli I picked up a glass container and got a shard of glass
               stuck in my finger. I pulled it out and it bled, was still bleeding
Mind;          when I went to the cashier. I licked off the blood and was
AWKWARD-       reminded of the vampire dream. I said to my friend, “Hey, I’m a
NESS; Breaks   vampire!” #10, Day 2
things
(1 prover)     Broke twelve glasses at work tonight – knocking them over, they
               slipped out of my hand, dropped off my tray…! #2, Day 14
Mind; MUSIC;
Desires;
playing        * MUSIC
(1 prover)     I am feeling heavy-hearted and depressed today. I went to check
               out the Centre for Positive Living to see if it might be a place
               where I could sing my songs. I left quite appalled with the state of
Mind;          their music – bad karaoke quality. They have my number, but I
OFFENDED       doubt they’ll call. #6, Day 7
easily
(3 provers)

               * FEARS
Mind;
IRRESOLU-        At 1:00 a.m. I have the sensation of being drowned in fears. I felt
TION,          my lungs fill and felt surrounded by fears. It was a liquid
indecision     sensation. #2, Day 3
(1 prover)


Mind;          EASILY OFFENDED
DELUSIONS,     I have noticed in the last 2 or 3 days that I have been easily
imagination;   offended, especially with clients at work. The slightest offhand
Betrayed,      comment, especially about service, I take very personally. It takes
being          a few minutes to lift. #2, Day 11
(1 prover)


               INDECISION
               I really wanted to leave the island today, but couldn’t decide
               where I wanted to go. I stayed and helped a friend put up a fence.
               #2, Day 16




                                          41
              BETRAYAL
              Feeling good with the beautiful weather, but sad and betrayed
              with what is going on at work. There’s no loyalty anymore. #3,
              Day 4


              CHILDISH
              Cried on the phone to my supervisor, feeling really stupid for
              taking Arnica, like I’m a stupid child and I have wasted the
              adults’ time with my lack of thought about consequence.
              #2, Day 17


Mind;         * FAST PACE
DREAMS;        I have felt almost propelled through my days, sometimes at such
Country;     an enormous intensity and fast pace that I have felt as though I
foreign      just barely have time to finish one task or activity before moving
(1 prover)   on to the next task at hand. This is a good feeling of finally getting
             to take care of some things and situations that have been hanging
             over me for much too long. I have been frustrated and blocked for
Mind;        some time, fears of my husband leaving for BC for a year to
DREAMS;      complete his degree. I have been feeling the pressure of having to
Stool        carry the family financially and practically. This had me feeling
             fearful and stuck. After taking the second dose of the remedy, the
(1 prover)   ‘stuckness’ began feeling pushed aside by the forward motion of
             the remedy. This forward motion has been very strong and
             steady, like a steam locomotive picking up speed. I have hardly
             looked back since then. #9, Day 21



              * FOREIGN PLACES
              I was painting a storage cabinet and I had the feeling that I had
             been transported to somewhere in China. It’s like I was lost in a
             daydream, sitting on a dirt floor in China building this storage
             cabinet with other workers there beside me and around me.
             #10, Day 19



              * TOILET/STOOL
              Some memories of my ex-boyfriend, specifically about his stool
              and the toilet of our old bathroom. My thoughts went from
              thinking about the fact that I only once saw his poo, to


                                        42
                     wondering if the villagers in Panama, who have water toilets, to
                     flush every time. I don’t know why I thought about it because I
                     knew that they did. #11, Day 1
Mind;
DREAMS;
Kindness, of
                     TAKEN CARE OF/KINDNESS
(1 prover)
                     The woman that’s doing the restoration said, “Don’t worry,
                     leave it all up to us!” When she first came in she was talking to
Mind;                me like we’re old friends. The workers cleaning up after the
DREAMS;              flood have gone above and beyond their duty. I felt taken care of.
Accusations;         #10, Day 5
crime,
wrongful of
(1 prover)
                     DREAMS (THEMES)
                     * Denotes dream themes that also occur in the ‘MIND’
Mind;     section
DREAMS;
Child,
children;            * CARING FOR A CHILD & CHILD IN DANGER
about; looking
after                I am working as a nanny for a rich man who has one child. After
                    putting the child down for a nap, I fall asleep, too. The man wakes
(1 prover)          me up in a rage, accusing me of something I didn’t do. He corners
Mind;               me and verbally attacks me. #2, Day 10
DREAMS;
Child,
children;           I am in charge of the care of a baby girl. I fall with her in my arms
about; injured      and she cuts her forehead. It’s bleeding a red, jelly-like substance.
                    My Mom comes to help me administer first aid. #3, Day 10
(1 prover)
Mind;
DREAMS;             Waitress dreams, but not stressful as they usually are. I was
Child,              hugging a small, blonde child who ordered Pellegrino and a side
children;           of anchovies. #3, Day 2
about;
fondness for
                    I dreamt about caring for babies all night. #3, Day 13
(1 prover)
*Mind;
                    I was sleeping in my childhood home in the basement. I am
DREAMS;
                    nursing someone else’s baby, like I’m a surrogate. I am wearing a
Animals, of,
                    Vietnamese-style green dress. Next I am wakened in the middle of
dogs, mad,
                    the night by some teens passing through my yard by my window.
attacking
                    There are just a few at first, and then they come in droves. I can
(1 prover)

                                               43
                 see them through the sheers. I’m a little afraid they’ll start trouble
                 and break into the house and hurt the baby. If I stay really quiet
                 and still, they won’t notice me. They’re starting to run and
                 stampede and the police are here. They have brought maybe 50
                 dogs, one of which has already gone mad and attacked a boy. The
                 police can’t get the dog off the boy. This is happening right under
                 my window. They all see me now! I get out of the bed to go
                 outside and my basement is full of tortured, dead dogs. I think
                 that the teens did this while I slept. They are everywhere in glass
Mind;            cases, like in an exhibition. I can’t stop screaming. I scream until I
DREAMS;          wake myself up. #3, Day 20
Child,
children;
about; babies    A sixteen-year-old girl has had a baby. I’m shocked and sad. The
(1 prover)       baby talks, says, “Food.” The girl is trying to nurse, the baby is
                 frustrated, can’t latch on. A nurse shows the girl how to
                 breastfeed by sucking on the girl’s nipple. #9, Day 1
Mind;
DREAMS;
Child,           I am sitting around a table with a few people. A teacher is there
children;        with his young son, who doesn’t like the sesame seeds on the
about; babies;   bread he is eating. The teacher picks off the seeds for him. I think
nursing          that he is taking good care of his son. #10, Day 20
(2 provers)
                 This was a dream within a dream: my ex-partner had left on an
                 adventure years before as a child. (Images of wild, mythic places
Mind;            and people.) Years later with the help of some holy person, he is
DREAMS;          found, but he is about to take the vows of another religion. He
Ancient times,   does not know that by birth he is the king of the Jews. While
biblical         taking the vows, he realizes something is wrong with the vows
(1 prover)       and makes a speech to the tribe members about it. It seems as if
                 the dream was set many hundreds of years ago – in Jacob and
                 Leah’s time. I think I was the holy person able to do magic and
Mind;            cast spells to that my ex-partner would realize the wrong before
DREAMS;          he takes the vows. Something above is making a dragonfly out of a
Child,           piece of my robe. There is something about a blue robe in this
children;        dream. #2, Day 16
about, danger,
in
(6 provers)      I dreamt of my ex-partner opening a store of clothing and
                 alternative lifestyle accessories, with a partner. This dream
                 morphed into one in which we are still living together but not
                 together as a couple. He invites a mutual friend to visit and sleeps
                 with her. (Actually, he has invited a friend to his house this
                 weekend, and I feel that they will have sex, so this is real.) It
                 destroys me. I freak out, leave, and drive really fast in a car which


                                            44
has no brakes. I nearly crash. When I look to see behind me I see a
child in the back seat. I got very frightened and upset because I
could have hurt more than just myself. I feel ashamed of my
reaction and near accident. #2, Day 21


There is a small toddler, a little red-haired girl, in diapers playing
and exploring around open flames. I’m very worried, and in a
panic to remove the child from the danger. The parent is there,
and doesn’t want me to be involved. They tell me to leave the
child be, that they have to learn on their own. I think, “No, she’s
too small!” I’m so scared. An invisible force moves me away. I
can’t save her. She falls and rolls in the flames. The parent seems
happy. She is burned, she will learn. I pick her up and cradle her.
Her hand is burned badly. Her parent is my father. I was
disturbed on waking from this dream. #3, Day 7


Dream of a woman arriving suddenly with about 8 young children
in various carriers carrying them all at once as though she had
snatched them quickly out of a vehicle to save them from danger.
#6, Day 7


I was dreaming that I was trying to help this little boy. He was
very, very troubled. All I could do was recite the names of the
characters on Star Trek shows. He was on his bicycle. He was
supposed to have gone to school, but he couldn’t make it all the
way to school. He was going back home and I was sent to try to
help him. I seemed to have two of my cars, but the keys only to
one. I was with the homeopaths and I was very, very thirsty.
There was a big jug filled with water. I also seemed to be filling
out some kind of report about this boy that I was trying to help.
#6, Day 2


We were living in a very small house and my seven-year-old was
sleeping on a mattress on a board over the bathtub. The board
had slipped off and he had fallen into the tub, which had about a
foot of water in it. I came into the room to check on him to find
that he was under the water, which was a brownish colour. I could
see his face under the water with his mouth open. I was scared
and grabbed him, but as he was moving I wasn’t really worried. I
should have been terrified! I woke up coughing, trying to catch my
breath, with the feeling of suffocation. The next part of the dream
was me in the room with him when he was awake and playing. I
picked up two little toy trucks and put them in the TV and a


                            45
                 Beatles video came on. I was dancing and happy. #8, Day 6


                 Dream last night of my friends, a gay couple, in a summer home
                 in a beautiful wooded area. One was brooding, the other stayed
                 outside. Many of their friends were there. I had no privacy in the
                 bathroom. After I went there were these little things like flower
Mind;            petals left in the toilet. A woman was there who challenged me
DREAMS,          saying that I would desire her affections. Later, I went for a ride
Child,           on my bike to buy some things at a store in Manhattan. As I was
children,        riding through Manhattan, decided that I’d gone too far. I turned
about,           back without getting what I went for. I rode through a crowded
neglecting her   place, knocked some people over that were in my path. Some of
(3 provers)      them were sitting on chairs. This place was all red-orange. I
                 asked if everyone was okay. As I was leaving, a woman came to
*Mind;           me for information because she thought I’d hurt her child. I felt
DREAMS;          that she was scamming me for money. There was a lawyer set up
Animals, of,     right outside of the place preparing to start legal proceedings
selling things   against me. I was unconcerned about the child. Seemed well
(1 prover)       enough for me. #6, Day 2


Mind;            I dreamt that I was at a lake with friends. My daughter was in the
DREAMS;          water being brave and wanting to try the boat, which looked like a
Animals, of,     hydrofoil or swamp boat. She got on and started moving but
birds            couldn’t steer. It capsized. She looked so embarrassed and was
                 crying, looking away from the crowd on the beach. I felt so bad for
(2 provers)      her. #12, Day 5


                 My daughter didn’t know where I was and it was taking so long, I
                 was getting upset. I felt I had really let her down as a parent and
                 was so upset that she was left on her own. I woke up feeling like I
                 had really let her down. My heart was heavy, having failed as a
                 mother. #12, Day 11



                 ANIMALS
                 A shop/business where all of the employees were animals. They
                 could talk and were trained to do reception and customer service.
                 When I discovered this, I was delighted by it. Someone else
                 pointed out the inappropriateness of it and the exploitation factor.
                 The animals declared that they loved it, that it was one of the
                 better jobs around. All they had to do was delight the customers
                 and keep them coming back. They admitted that they weren’t


                                            46
                getting paid. This I found upsetting. #1, Day 7


                A “big” theme. Traveling in a truck with an odd man who has
                hundreds of birds. We pick up a woman with a dog who is
                hitchhiking. They decide to travel in the back, camperized area of
                the vehicle. We stop for the night somewhere. When the lights go
                off (we’re in a very big room with lots of people) the birds all fly
Mind;           into the room. I’m concerned about where to put my clothes so
DREAMS;         they won’t get pooped on by the birds. #1, Day 18
Animals,
deer, of
(1 prover)      I am walking on a trail in the forest. On one side of the trail is a
                cliff leading down to the ocean. On the other side is a forest. All of
                a sudden there are two deer grazing on the trail blocking off the
Mind;           path. I don’t know what to do and I am afraid of the animals. I see
DREAMS;         no way around, but I don’t want to go back. I was standing in
Animals,        front of an animal wanting to pass by, but feeling the power of its
fishes, dead,   presence and experiencing an inner anxiety. #5, Day 1
of
(1 prover)      Dream that I am watching a fish tank with all these added fish. I
                told my husband that he really should look after them. I
                remembered another dream (from some time in the past year)
Mind;
                where a huge fish tank with large, exotic fish had been left
DREAMS;
                unattended for a very long time. Most of the fish had died or were
Animals,
                eating each other. #6, Day 7
pigs, of
(1 prover)
                In a big house. There are baby pigs inside the house, one in a
                birdcage with a blue budgie. The budgie is freaked, has a heart
Mind;           attack and dies. There are lots of people, like a party. The pig gets
DREAMS;         out of the house. He is at the front door. The pig has a red coat on
Animals,        and piddles at the front door. A man comes to the door in bare
cows, of        feet and barely misses stepping in the pig’s urine. #9, Day 4
(1 prover)
                A dream with cow themes: a cow print on a huge blanket and
Mind;           something else. It made me think of being in a herd, crowded,
DREAMS;         trying to move, trying to do things with obstacles in my way.
Animals,        #12, Day 5
dogs, of
(3 provers)     I am in a class, but I cannot concentrate. My attention is moving
                all over the place. The two dogs that were in the previous dream
                reappear. The feeling is being constricted; I can’t go where I need
*Mind;          to go, or accomplish what I think I need to do. #2, Day 6
DREAMS;
Animals, of,
cats, of                                    47
injured
(1 prover)
               * CAT
               I dreamt that my roommate’s cat was in a fight. We were all
               looking at him and thinking, “Is he okay?” He looks like he’s
               walking a bit strangely. His tail was missing most of its fur,
               looking wet and not all there. A few minutes later, when I was the
               only one looking at his cat, I noticed that his two back legs were
               chewed off, and that explained why he was walking funny. I
               freaked out, because I didn’t want the cat’s owner, my roommate,
               to know, because she would freak out, too. I called an emergency
               pet support line and asked if there is anything I could do. I was
               thinking there was a way that I could hide it from her so that she
               would never notice, or that maybe there was a way to get his legs
*Mind;         to grow back before she noticed. Nearer to the end of the dream
DREAMS;        conversation with the support-line, I was realizing there wasn’t
Animals,       much physically that could be done with its legs that she wouldn’t
of, cats,      notice, so I was asking about any psychological support that could
felines, of    be given to my roommate once she sees his legs and I was asking
possessed      how I should go about telling her. Then I woke up because I
by the devil   started to realize that it was a bit ridiculous that only I noticed
(1 prover)     that the cat’s legs were chewed off. #11, Day 12
Mind;
DREAMS;
Animals,       Nightmare about a devil-possessed cat. It was moving quickly. I
of, snakes     had to put it outside. I was scared of the cat. (This prover is scared
               of her cat, and during the pre-proving interview, the cat kept
(3 provers)    trying to bite her.) #10, Day 2

Mind;
DREAMS;
Animals,       SNAKE
of, rabbits    I awoke suddenly from a dream at 1:00 a.m.. At the end of the
(1 prover)     dream (can’t recall the whole dream) roots of a tree were showing
               and started moving like a snake. It was bright green, smooth and
               covered with small raised circles. I was very scared in the dream ,
               but forgot immediately why I woke up. #2, Day 3
*Mind;
DREAMS;        I jolted, gripped in fear and anxiety as a picture of a huge, dark
Money,         snake took over my dreams. It slammed into my consciousness. I
unlimited      jumped in terror and gasped. Once I calmed down, I realized that
(1 prover)     I had been having other, nice, regular dreams but couldn’t
               remember them. The snake took over and scared me! Mind
               continued to race with dreams afterward. #4, Day 1

                                          48
               In the forest with huge, purple peaches growing off the bushes.
               I’m having difficulty trying to cross a river with a rabbit in a box.
               There’s a big hole. I hear a snake. I run away, dropping the box. I
               feel bad for having left the rabbit behind. #3, Day 8



               MONEY/BUYING THINGS
                 A rich man has given me and my husband a role of cash and
Mind;          some blank cheques. One of the cheques, a yellow-vanilla colour,
DREAMS;        has “unlimited” written on it, stamped in large, red letters. My
Injustice      husband says he feels somewhat prostituted and I disagree. I ask
               him if this man wants anything and he says no. The feeling was of
(2 provers)    unlimited resources. It was a big wad of cash. The money was
               brightly coloured – the 50s were bright red, and the other money
               was green. He is a small dark man with a goatee. I think this guy
Mind;          is like a fairy godfather. #10, Day 1
DREAMS;
money
(3 provers)    A career fair with thousands of people, a surprising turnout. The
               booths, however, are not career-related at all. They are food
               vendors giving out samples of their products. It feels like a very
               successful event, one for which I played a role in organizing. I hear
Mind;          a report that the ticket sales have brought in $250,000. I am
DREAMS;        shocked at this success. Then I feel it is unfair because the already
Poverty        wealthy building owners get the money while the struggling
               vendors are giving away thousands of dollars worth of product.
( 3 provers)   #1, Day 3


Mind;          Dreams seemed short. I was at a homeopathic conference and had
DREAMS;        no money while there. Conversations with my parents were vivid,
Shopping       seemed almost real. This dream was set in the future. #2, Day 2
(3 provers)
               In a ski resort with a friend and not sure if I have enough money
               to pay at the restaurant. I’m pulling out cash from every pocket.
               #3, Day 12


               I’m shopping and can’t find the cornflakes so I must get Cheerios.
               It’s $6.46 for a box of Cheerios and I am astounded at the price. I
               buy coffee and milk as well. #3, Day 12




                                           49
              I am being toured around a gym and asking many questions
              before I buy in. The more I see the more I know that this gym is
              poor and I won’t put the money in. I am pointing out why to the
              person touring me around. #3, Day 14


              I am afraid that I’m going to die. I am watching this and feeling
              the fear. A woman bent with carrying a heavy load trudges up to
              Robert de Niro’s house. He answers the door and come out onto
              the doorstep. She complains that He owes her money. He tries to
              explain loudly with big arm gestures how “payday works around
              here.” He has no intention of paying her. Previously, I am at a
              store. It’s a “make your own wine” place and I’m carrying a huge,
              bright green carboy. I go to the end of the line 3 times. This
              doesn’t seem to bother me. #6, Day 14


              I dreamt that I was looking in a second hand clothing store to find
              sweater for my daughter. Then I was in a little hole in the wall
              restaurant, but it was a fine dining place. I crossed the street,
              went into the restaurant again, but now it was on the other side of
              the street. I was going to help them serve. They had these nice,
              classy, sexy outfits to try on. It made me feel special with the
              thought of trying one of these on. #12, Day 8


              I found myself in a second-hand store looking at household items.
              I found some lovely, clear plates. I had actually gone in looking for
              clothes, had been in there already once before on the same day. It
              was near closing time. I felt good about finding the plates because
              they could be useful now while we were still together. #12, Day 10



              FOOD/GATHERING
              A familiar health food shop with a very abundant and compelling
Mind;         display of healthy snack foods, which I am drawn to. They are
DREAMS;       building all this through buying trips to the city. I am feeling that
Food          maybe I could have done this for them as a way of getting to the
              city. #1, Day 1
(5 provers)

              I am planning a party for a grandmother, not mine. I was helping
Mind;         to select a banquet facility. The older ladies were talking about
DREAMS;       mailing underwear. I’m confused but I don’t ask, because I don’t
People, of    want to know! The waitress is clearing plates. I can see the
crowd
(7 provers)
                                          50
               remains of purple cabbage coleslaw. My Mom has eaten my
               clubhouse sandwich on me and she doesn’t appear to be sorry!
               Why would you eat my sandwich? How could you betray me this
               way? Oh well, I’ll order another and this time with French fries.
               Yeah! I love fries! #3, Day 4


               A dream about food and material possessions: I was at a party
               with a huge buffet and it was mostly gone by the time I got there.
               All I got was bread and cheese. Then, we did not check out of our
               hotel in time, our possessions left in the room that the next guests
               were already occupying. I could not retrieve all of our
               possessions. It kept going on and on, getting some of them back,
               but always more to retrieve. #8, Day


               I went to a conference with lots of people. The person who was
               supposed to talk had to leave for a bit. The food was supposed to
               be served but there was nothing there but tofu. Everyone started
               to leave. I could not find my car. They took my car at the hotel and
Mind;          I could not find any of my things. There was an Oriental lady,
DREAMS;        maybe the speaker, who took everything while we were waiting
Robbers        for her to come back. She left behind drawers and cupboards full
(2 provers)    of fancy, smelly, expensive soaps. #8, Day 14


Mind;          I was camping outside of town with a lot of people I didn’t know. I
DREAMS;        awoke in the morning and found that everyone was leaving. The
Cleaning       mess had to be cleaned up. I felt resentful towards the people who
               left and didn’t; help with the cleanup. A few men stayed behind. I
(2 provers)    asked them to clean up the broken glass and an old dresser that
               was too heavy for me to move by myself. There was a woman and
               a man over in the corner by the “pantry” who were trying to clean
               up some ants. Someone had put down liquid borax and it was
               very sticky. They were trying to gather ants in a tissue and it was
               a sticky mess. #9, Day 3
*Mind;
DREAMS;
Body, body     In the shore in a room with many others, I was trying to clean up.
parts, eyes,   It was like there was a group of us traveling. I am doing laps
of being       around a track with rooms all around. It was crowded with people
tested         and objects. I was trying to make something in the kitchen and I
(1 prover)     couldn’t find the salt. I was so frustrated by everything I tried to
               do. There was too much clutter and too many people. #12, Day 5


                I was in an office building. It reminded me of ICBC road testing.


                                          51
               I’m in line, waiting patiently to have my eyes tested by my by my
               optometrist. There were so many people and so much staff. My
               daughter was with me, walking around passing time.
                 It was my turn. They sat me down and put big machines before
               my eyes. They couldn’t figure out what the problem was. I was
               thinking to tell them that it’s mainly eyestrain. They decided to
               leave me there for an hour, going on to someone else in the
               meantime. My vision was blurry and I felt that my eyesight was
               changing as they did the tests.
                 I saw my daughter playing and supervising a little girl and
               thought that while we were waiting that I would walk through the
               mall to McDonald’s (yuk!) and get us a meal. I just got up and
               started through the mall. It was busy with so many people. I went
               down a black, padded slide, crawling over people’s legs at the
               bottom. It took such a long time. I went to one McDonald’s and
               the lineup was too long or something, so I went across the street
               to another. I had noticed so many black people. It was so unusual
               to see so many in one place. I wasn’t frightened, more
               intimidated.
               Finally I got into the lineup and placed my order. I gave them my
               social insurance number instead of my Interac card. I was feeling
               stressed for time. I had left the optometrist at 4:00 p.m. and it was
               already 4:40 p.m.. #12, DAY 11



               * LOST LOVE
               The mother of my ex-partner came to visit. I couldn’t understand
Mind;          that she wasn’t going to treat me in the same manner as before. I
DREAMS;        had to be blocked from entering his house. I felt held back,
Divorced, of   restricted, and rejected. #2, Day 8
getting
(5 provers)    I’m sitting on the edge of my bed thinking about going out to
               dinner with my ex, then remembering that we don’t see each
               other anymore. #3, Day 6


               A friend has come to visit from overseas. He is with an ex-
               girlfriend. I wonder why he wants to be with her again as she is
               not very nice to him and not attractive. I feel that he is “selling
               out” because he is lonely. #10, Day 5


                I am in a large, festive room in Mexico. My brother announces


                                           52
              that he will be getting married. We say, “great, when and where?”
              He says, “Thailand, July 7th.” He picks the date of our failed
              marriages’ anniversaries. I decide that I’m not going to go to the
              wedding. The date is bad luck. I am angry. #4, Day 6


              A good dream about an old boyfriend. #4, Day 7


              Unpleasant dreams about my ex-partner with a lot of anxiety. #4,
              Day 13


              We were on an escalator going down and now it’s my husband
              with me. There were things all around us, like baggage we were
              lying around on. Out of the blue, I told him that I wanted a
              divorce. I tried to explain that things were good between us but
              that I truly felt that I could never really be happy with him, that he
              could never fill that void. I felt free and happy with the decision to
              ask for a divorce. It was like the world was mine. (This was a
              conversation similar to the one I had in life with my girlfriend the
              previous day.) #12, Day 10




              LARGE DWELLING
Mind;         My brother purchased a large home and I am trying to figure out
DREAMS;       where he got the funds for it. #10, Day 11
House,
houses; big
              Dreamt about an old building that was sometimes a house,
(5 provers)
              sometimes an old building. (I have a lot of dreams about
              dwellings.) Later, it was a really nice house with a huge pool and
              extremely extravagant rooms for specific purposes. Everyone was
              speaking French. I was showing parts of the house to the people
              so they could hide when they had to. I was saving someone or
              maybe some people from being found. At the beginning of the
              dream, the house was decrepit and I was discussing with other
              house tenants about the safety/security of our stuff in the house.
              You could see from the outside that some of the windows were
              missing. Some of the windows were just long, thick curtains. The
              house was really unique and I liked it, but it was very open. The
              openness of it was okay, just not as safe as it should be. There
              were a lot of people living in the house, part of a community with
              some sort of purpose that connected us, but we weren’t always


                                         53
              together working on it. I was working and living out of this house.
              I think that near the end I was helping someone because I had a
              special interest in them. By the end I was showing the house only
              to the person I was interested in and that is where we would fool
              around. #11, Day 2


              I am in a large, old, spacious house a live and work space. My
              partner and I are both there and we are newcomers. An old, dirty
              street person comes in, walks through the space and into the
              bathroom. I feel upset by this and ask, “Is this the public toilet,
              too?” Someone answers, “yes, it is.” I feel enraged to have to
              share our facilities with the public. The street person comes out of
              the bathroom and introduces himself to the group as Dr.____, and
              says that he is there to use our facilities and to relieve us of our
              pocket change. Others give him some coins, but I refuse to give
              him any. The feelings in this dream are rage and indignation.
              #1, Day 4


              I entered a large, poverty-stricken apartment complex that was
              once very grand. A past boyfriend had found us a large, cheap
              apartment. I was not happy with the idea. On entering the
              apartment, I found my granddad waiting for us. He then showed
              me from out apartment a door that lead to a very large ballroom
              with extremely high ceiling, ornate windows and balconies. It was
              very dark, soon started hearing a clicking noise with no reason for
              it, and saw white light moving. I inferred that ghosts were
              present. I awoke with a sensation of being drowned in fears.
              #2, Day 3


              I dreamt of a classmate having a study group but we were in a
              foreign, tropical country. I took my shoes off and passed through a
              glass corridor, past a swimming pool. There were schoolmates
              from junior high hanging about the pool. I sat down with a few
              others as she informed us that they were moving and a colleague
              would be renting the place. I was jealous of my colleague as I
              looked at the beautiful pool and home. #12, Day 2



              ESCAPE/JOURNEY
              There is a group of us and a sense of danger, a need to escape. We
Mind;         are considered to be criminals but there is a sense of unjust
DREAMS;       persecution. We work together to gather all that we need and to
Escape
(3 provers)
                                         54
              cover our tracks. We express gratitude for each other’s help and
              contribution as we complete this stage. Then there is panic. An
              Irish man realizes that his videotape is missing, meaning that
              evidence is left behind. We can’t go back for it because it’s too
              dangerous. There is the sense in the group that this is a fatal
              mistake and people are angry because this jeopardizes everything.
              This changes our plans and we have to be more careful. We go
              over land instead of via airports. We are then traveling in horses
              and covered carts in beige camouflage. We stop somewhere; hike
              a border crossing, with a market where we pick up bread and
              potatoes. We have plats of food and we are going back to our
              caravan. We see shadows around the corner of the hallway and
              feel extreme danger. A man points to another, safer way. We are
              then in a courtyard where there are lots of uniforms and men
              being shot. We start to realize that maybe they’re not looking for
              us specifically. The feelings in this dream are danger, persecution
              and fear with no sense of guilt. #1, Day 2


              Changing clothes a lot. Went to a party with friends and felt
              awkward as I realized I’d left my uniform on. There was a
Mind;         Christmas tree and lots of puppies there and people smoking
DREAMS;       cigarettes; traveling – planes, trains and automobiles. I was
Journey, in   getting on a bus to go to my property. The fair is different types of
countries,    chocolate. The driver wants it all and we flirt and negotiate. I
foreign       think to myself, I must be smart in negotiating. On the deck of a
(2 provers)   cruise ship, very in the moment as the grey whales jump. I
              encourage everyone to be in the moment. The sunset colours are
              amazing. One of the whales waves at me. How cool is that! The
              cruise ships have wheels now so that is they’re too big for the
              canal, you can just take a major thoroughfare after dark. The
              world’s advancing too fast! This is too much! #3, Day 1


              I have lots of money. I’m busy buying drugs – cocaine and heroin
              and I’m meeting with people. I feel a need to hide, to sneak
              around. Authorities spot me and begin to question me. I was with
              others, but they disappear when the cops arrive. This is all very
              public. My stepson is watching from within the crowd. He seems
              to be enjoying my discomfort and humiliation. He sits down and
              watches with a smile on his face. The authorities decide to take
              me somewhere. It’s a very long trek on foot. We come across a
              body of water that we have to cross. I’m with my stepson and we
              cross first, using large stones in the difficult places. The tide
              comes in very fast, leaving the authorities behind, and we are not
              able to go back. We go to visit some friends in a cottage with a
              dog. The dog is very smart, but it has a very bad behaviour


                                         55
                problem of urinating on everything. It is so spoiled, allowed to be
                everywhere, even on the table. It urinated on the lace tablecloth. I
                feel disgusted and pissed off. After awhile, the authorities catch
                up with us and take me away for further questioning. They take
                me to a very large house. On the way there I feel quite free
                walking down the road. They are not watching me very closely
                and I am enjoying the countryside. Even when we arrive, the
                house is quite luxurious, more like a hotel than a jail. #8, Day 21


                I am in a video store looking for a couple of movies. I then seemed
                to take on the role of being in an action film. I was with a man (I
                also felt like I was a man) and we were being pursued. We ran up
                a cement embankment and there was a black limo waiting for us.
                We jumped in the back and sat down. The man driving was
                handsome with salt and pepper hair. I felt that we were in danger
                and that he was one of the pursuers. I was afraid of what might
                happen and where he would take us. When the limo stopped my
                partner and I jumped out, ran and tumbled down the cement
                embankment into this industrial area that felt like it was on the
                bank of a river. We ran jumping over things, crates and past filthy
                wet sections and then found ourselves in a barn-like structure. We
                were climbing the walls carefully and moving to our right. My
                partner was ahead of me and found himself on a section like a
                hinged door that began to open. He swung above a corral and
                there was danger just below him. I believe it was a black bear.
                You could see the bees swarming around him, as though he had
                gotten into their hive. I had a flashback of the video store and
                remembered seeing children’s videos, one with Winnie the Pooh.
                The dream then switched to me sitting at a long table outdoors.
                My school classmates were around, although I never actually
                saw/recognized them. Murray was sitting to my left. A little girl,
                frail, with light brown, stringy hair and wearing plain clothing
                walked up with her mother. The girl spoke and we noticed small
                clumps of bees resting on her arms and a couple on her face.
                Murray asked if this always happens, and the mother replied,
Mind;           “yes.” He got up and found a white cream for her to apply that
DREAMS;         would keep the bees away. I then flashed back to the corral and
Journey,        realized that I had been there before, as a spy or detective. The
difficulties,   bear was no longer in the corral, it was fire. #12, Day 1
with
(3 provers)       I dreamt last night that I was taking my cat with me into a dollar
                store on a leash. Once inside, it became my daughter’s class. I
                spoke with her teacher and left before she came into the
                classroom. As I was leaving the school, she was walking up the
                hallway and stopped to show me something. I said, “Goodbye,”


                                           56
              and left the building. I was putting a tray of pasta in the back of
              my vehicle as I was on my way to a funeral. (The funeral was for a
              guy I had known here in Vancouver who left a few years ago. I
              have lost touch with him.) I was driving in Vancouver in an area
              downtown that I wasn’t familiar with, looking for the new
              homeopathic animal hospital. I parked on a street and went with
              a male friend in one direction, with pasta dish in hand. I walked
              into one building and realized that I was in the wrong place. I am
              pretty sure that I said goodbye to this friend, who also seemed to
              be the friend that I thought had died. I put my pasta back into the
              back of the car, drove around the block and parked around the
              corner from the animal hospital. I walked around the corner and
              into the building. Some people had said that I had to go out, down
              and around the corner and into the hospital from the back as this
              area was only the coffee shop. They were very friendly and I felt
              that I knew them. I felt comfortable and open with them.
                I walked outside into another entrance. The building was new. A
              man was there with papers in his hand, heading for an office. It
              was his building. He explained how the carpeting wasn’t working,
              especially in the winter with all the rain. They would be changing
              the flooring. I found a room in which a homeopathic convention
              was taking place. There were a lot of people, but only a couple of
              my classmates. I realized that I had forgotten to bring any kind of
              writing paper. No one appeared to have enough to share with me.
              I figured that I could make do with the backs of a couple of sheets
              I had in my hand.
              I was trying to get back to my seat, near the front. The women
              beside me didn’t seem very friendly. Another woman showed up
              to my left with a portable table and chairs for her and her
              daughter. I was stepping over power cords and balloon ribbons to
              get back to my seat. I felt crowded out, confined, no room to move
              easily. #12, Day 15



               * MAGIC & MYSTICISM
Mind;          Dreamt I was with the singer, “Sting” and we were discussing
DREAMS;       spiritual ideas. His house was cliffside looking over the ocean. It
Spiritual     was very nice and I was enjoying myself. #10, Day 14
(8 provers)
               I am with the Indian spiritual master, H.W.L. Poonja. Devotees
              surround him but I can still see him. He is smiling and wearing a
Mind;         garland of flowers, and his forehead has a red streak painted on it.
DREAMS;       He is dancing in celebration of something. The room is filled with
Country;
foreign
(4 provers)                              57
              joy. Though I am at a bit of a distance, I feel very connected to
              him. There is joyfulness with an internal sense of ease. This joy
              has no limit. It is pure joy. My daughter and I are in India staying
              at Ramana ashram. The surroundings are not like I expected, but
              lively. There are many people around and they are in a
              celebratory mood. My daughter and I walk into a shop where
              sweets are sold. The display is beautifully laid out. We look but
              don’t buy anything. My daughter asks the cashier if she can
              exchange her $50 for Indian money. #10, Day 16


                I was at a Homeopathy School. It was the Vancouver school, but
              in a different setting. It was like it was in New York City and India
              at the same time. It had both flavours, even though I’ve never
              been to India. I was attending with my daughter. The directors
              had come in and they were sprinkling salt throughout the school.
              It was a morning ritual and they were honouring the place, the
              negative spirits that had been cast out of patients the following
              day and they were sending them on their way. They were
*Mind;        honouring the day and the moment and the school. I found that
DREAMS;       very touching and I was weeping about that. I was trying to get
Leprechauns   myself organized to go to class and I somehow missed the 10
              o’clock class, which was History of Homeopathy. #6, Day 2
(1 prover)

              I dreamt about leprechauns, even spelled it right half-sleep,
*Mind;        though I can’t think of how to spell is today. #10, Day 2
DREAMS;
Monks,
Tibetan       There are two men looking for a mole on my head as “the way
(2 provers)   in,” i.e. the surgical entry point. “ They say, “everyone has a way
              in,” but they don’t find it and let me go. #1, Day 1

Mind;
DREAMS;       Tibetan monk meditating on a cliff under an icefall, creating so
Escape, of,   much heat that he turns red and rises, melting the ice, then falls
Buddhist      back to the earth. #2, Day 1
monastery,
from
              Tibetan field with horses and a gathering. I am a monk or a nun.
(1 prover)    #2, Day 1


Miind;        I dreamt of a female Dalai Lama talking about the energy of
DREAMS;       homeopathic remedies. #2, Day 9
Evil
(1 prover)
              Living in a monastery or retreat. Went to leave and could not. Felt

                                         58
              trapped. #2, Day 12


              I dreamt about a city with lots of ethnic diversity, trying to find
              my way on a bike, but I can’t. Tibetan monks appear. #2, Day 19


              At a club I noticed some strange things happening around me.
              Some of the other people weren’t really human. They had human
              form and evil intent. #2, Day 8


              I am at a place where three different bodywork therapists are
              offering demonstrations (mini-sessions). One of them I know. I
              am given a mini-treatment by all three, though one puts a lot
              more time and effort into it. Her therapy is more about voice and
              sound effects. She is massaging my shoulders but telling a story at
              the same time. I feel as though her voice is “massaging” my
              nervous system i.e. I “feel” the vibrational effects. I feel I need to
              book an appointment with this person but feel a conflict/dilemma
              around booking with her and not with my friend. #1, Day 9


              I had a really erotic dream that was disturbing. This goes back a
              long time. There is this older man that I know who is very
*Mind;        spiritual and has the ability to connect with me in my dreams.
DREAMS;
Spiritual     In the dream I was making love with my husband. Half-way
man,          through I stopped and said, “No, I am not going to come, I can’t
invaded by,   do this again.” I went to the bathroom. When I came back into the
in dreams,    room it was like a dorm, a hostel. There were quite a few people
sexual        in there and my husband was in bed against the wall, hiding
              under the blankets. I wondered what all these people were doing
(1 prover)    there and thought how typical of him to ignore the whole
              situation.
              When I woke up, I had this thought that it was my friend, this
              older, spiritual man, and not my husband that I was making love
              to. I was pissed off because I had already set my boundaries with
              him. I felt that he had moved across those boundaries again by
              being in my dream. I saw him the next day and asked him if he
              was in my dream. He said maybe he had a quick peek, saw what
              was going on, and took off. I reiterated that he can’t cross this
              boundary.
              This felt like an intrusion. He’s crossing my boundaries. When he
              comes back into my life, I have a trust issue with him that has
              been ongoing with us. I try not to have to connect with him. I was
              thinking of the same old stuff that happens when I’m back in

                                         59
               touch with him. He has tried to pull me in a spiritual direction. It
               frightens me. I’m not ready for it. It started when he used to come
               into the wine store. He’s very spiritual, lives on a totally different
               level. He was making a bond with me subconsciously and I didn’t
               know he was doing this until after. I told him that he did this
               without me knowing and that crosses my boundaries. I am feeling
               agitated towards him. #12, Day 21



                WATER
                 I dreamt that I was visiting my friend in New York, but he
               wasn’t there much. Also involved swimming in deep water. He
               was swimming too. We were not swimming at the same time.
               Wasn’t any fear about that deep water, in fact I got in with
               somebody, not sure who it was and it was a little bit playful. I had
               to swim quite a long way and that seemed to be all right, I didn’t
               seem to be afraid. #6, Day 2
Mind;
DREAMS;
Water;         Dream involving a place where I have dreamt a recurring dream
swimming in    involving deep water. There is no fear in this. This is remarkable,
(1 prover)     as I have had many fearful dreams of deep water and I have a
               lingering fear of deep water in life. I am just watching. There was
               some kind of explosion. Later, there was a woman that I was
Mind;          talking to on my right that was potentially insane, violently,
DREAMS;        dangerously at any moment. I just kept talking to her. #6, Day 12
Unsuccessful
efforts to
               Then I am at my mother’s house. My mother’s kitchen sink is
(1 prover)
               broken down, falling apart and the pipes are leaking. I try in vain
               to turn the water source off. Eventually I manage to bring it down
*Mind;         to a slow trickle. This was an “unsuccessful effort” dream like
DREAMS;        I’ve had before but with a different quality – I would turn the tap
Water,         one way and that didn’t help, then the other way, then to the
crossing a     centre, trying to stop the flow and the mess. It had to be dealt
stream in a    with. Then I was hoping the little rich man would fancy my
truck          mother and take care if her and maybe I won’t have to do it.
               #10, Day 1
(1 prover)

               I was driving in a truck with two other people and two dogs. We
Mind;          tried to ford a wide, rushing creek. I know that we have done it
DREAMS;        before, but this time the water is too deep and too strong. The
Water, flood   truck comes to a stop and the water starts rushing in. Since we
of a           can’t move forward, we reverse out of the creek. The feeling is
(1 prover)

                                           60
                  being constricted; I can’t go where I think I need to go, or
                  accomplish what I think I need to do. #2, Day 6


                  Water theme: a body of water with people swimming; I am
                  swimming at one point; we have a large property and water starts
                  bubbling up through the ground. The feeling is concern that we
                  won’t be able to sell until this problem is resolved. Since we can’t
                  live there either, I don’t know how we’ll pay the mortgage.
                  #1, Day 17



                   UNJUST PERSECUTION
                    My roommate and I were walking to a restaurant and needed to
                  take a shortcut behind Kingsway Avenue and 9th, but it turned out
                  to be like Hastings and Main. We kept making wrong turns where
                  there would be dead ends or places where quadriplegics would be
                  coming out. The first reason for out shortcut was only to avoid the
                  prostitute area. We ended up in a kind of death-row treatment
Mind;             centre for drug dealers. They were locked up, but no one was
DREAMS;           supposed to know. They caught us walking through their grounds
Persecution, of   and were suspicious that we were trying to help the guys escape.
(3 provers)       We were actually trying to avoid their clutches. It was a desperate
                  place and I was worried about the long-term psychological
                  damage it might do to my roommate, but she seemed less
                  affected than I. Then a couple of guys were trying to escape and
                  they brought out the guns. Then they made all the prisoners go
                  outside, including us. They made everyone duck down low so they
                  wouldn’t hurt anyone while they shot the appropriate guys. . I felt
                  the convulsions of the first one that was shot. Then after the
                  second one I was looking at the face of his friend. His thoughts
                  were something about being paralyzed but not dead. He did seem
                  paralyzed and his eyes were wide. #11, Day 3


                    I dreamt of a ghetto that was in lockdown. It was very mixed
                  ethnically, but they were expelling Jews. After people were
                  returning to their homes they were almost jovial, glad it wasn’t
                  them. #2, Day 9


                    My son had not come home from work and it was already 7:30
                  a.m.. I was outside the house when two vehicles drove up. A man
                  got out with a gun and demanded to know where his daughter
                  was. I had no idea who he or his daughter was. I asked him what


                                             61
               she looked like and he sad, “portage.” I said I didn’t understand
               what that was, but he didn’t explain further. They left and after
               awhile I was talking to a young woman who was half Chinese. The
               men came back and when she saw them she ran into the bushes.
               My son had also arrived home before the men returned and I
               figured out that the young woman was my son’s girlfriend and
               that her father was not happy about this fact. My son ran into the
               house and hid. From this point on he was sometimes my brother.
               The main part of the dream was these people, who grew in
               number to be quite a few, hunting in the house, which was huge in
               the dream, for my son/brother. They found out that we were lying
               to them. There was a lot of chasing. #8, Day 1



                * FAST PACE/WILD RIDE
                 This dream has speeding across the water, the ocean, in a boat.
               There is some report of which is photocopied and in a pile on the
               counter at our store. I’m telling it to my youngest daughter’s
               boyfriend. It is some kind of intrigue, like a murder. It starts with
               a discussion of Splenda vs. Stevia, a conversation I had with a
               customer in the store yesterday. #6, Day 11


Mind;            Another speeding dream. Something about supplementing my
DREAMS;        thyroid. The speeding was back and forth. #6, Day 11
Cars,
automobiles,
of; trucks;      Another level of the many layers of this dream was this train
old, driving   that we rode underground. It was a wonder that the thing could
too fast       stay on any track because it was so rickety and so old and the
               tracks were so windy and steep. Anyway, we rode that train. My
(4 provers)    daughter and I were delighted to be taking this course together.
               We were kind of surprised that we had this opportunity, it was so
               rare. #6, Day 2

Mind;
DREAMS;         I am driving with friends in Nanaimo. The driver takes the
Prostitution   corner too wide and we’re heading into oncoming traffic. He gets
               us back in time. I never doubted that he would. #3, Day 6
(2 provers)

                Dream of a car pulling up suddenly and then pulling away.
               Violence. #6, Day 7
                My dreams were as if in fast forward mode. Super fast so that I
               couldn’t hold onto them. #4, Day 2


                                          62
               PROSTITUTE
                I am in a hotel room. I am a prostitute and I am trying to hide
              that I am masturbating from 2 children, both girls, in the room.
              Orgasm woke me up. #6, Day 10


                I had a dream of a woman in a place that looks like the turn of
              the century. It could be a brothel. She is up to something, bringing
              one man out the back door and trying to get one in the front door.
              She’s also trying to drug another man by putting powder in his
              tea. I am taking a drugged man and putting him away for this
              woman. I’m wearing a Victorian nightgown. The woman is
              making it appear that she’s drinking the same thing as the
              drugged man is drinking. I don’t know for what purpose. She told
              me, “Just take this one and put him into another room.” So, I did.
              I was just watching this go on, like a movie. I was curious as to
              why the men are coming in and out and why you are drugging
              them? There was a Victoria feeling, teacups, and red embroidered
              carpets. #10, Day 18


                I dream that I am a prostitute. I am in a hotel room entertaining
              Japanese men. There are one or two other girls with me. I wonder
              if I can make a living doing this. In the same hotel I am waiting for
              the elevator. When it stops on my floor and opens, I notice that it
              is very small and there is a very large man in it already. He
              doesn’t want to get cramped in it, so he presses the close button. I
              want to get on it so I stick my arm in the closing doors and pry
              them back open. He gives me a dirty look. #10, Day 11



               SEX
                This person told me that Helen Keller actually had a lover and
Mind;         his name was Edward Love. There was not much told about this
DREAMS;       aspect of her life. #6, Day 2
Amorous
(3 provers)     I became aware of these twins in this church. This school was
              somehow involved with this church, which was an Anglican
              Church. They were perched on a ladder in this very white room.
              One of the twins fell in love with a man and this torrid, torrid,
              torrid affair ensued, which eventually apparently was her demise.


                                         63
But it was this great, great opening for her. There was supposed
to be some kind of gathering in the place where she was staying
with this man. We found where it was because the outside walls of
the apartment building were pulsing with their lovemaking!
Trying to get to the corridor where this apartment was, I had this
skinny white dog who went into this little hole at the base of the
door. She had to come back because she couldn’t get in all the
way. I admonished her for being so “not cautious” about climbing
into this very, very tight space. #6, Day 2


  Next I am in a borrowed apartment with a playwright with
whom I am doing a creative project. He seems to be doing these
short shows for people with little or no money. I decide to pose
nude for a photographer who is with him. This goes well. The
photographer thinks he’s getting a masterpiece. We agree that the
shoot is about two women. The bed linens are dirty and in
disarray. The photographer is an old man who is surprised to be
aroused. The playwright is pleased with it all, observing the shoot
from the other room, sitting with his legs wide apart, leaning
forward, with a huge erection. Then the family that leases this
apartment to him for the day, comes home. They are part Cree, a
single Mom with 3 or 4 kids. They rent out their place during the
day and sleep there at night. This makes some sense for New York
City. At one point I find two large, yellow stools in the toilet that
won’t flush. They have a dark centre. I eventually get them to
flush. In the dream I am intensely proud of my beauty and the
creation of art with it. I annoy myself by putting my clothes back
on in between each shot, causing time to be wasted. The
playwright is drunk and hopeful of an affair with me. #6, Day 14


  I was in a foreign country. A man in his 30’s courts a young
woman in her teens. He spoils her, buys her things and begins to
call her his wife. He turns to her in the marketplace to introduce
her to someone, to find that she has disappeared. He searches for
her and finds her hiding from him in something like a closet. She
is afraid of what is coming next in their relationship, of him
claiming sexual rights. He finds her and she expresses this to him.
He validates her fears by affirming that this is the next step. He
begins to force himself on her. The feeling in the dream is
sympathy, though I feel more a spectator than a participant. He
seems like a nice man, so my fears wouldn’t be related to him
particularly, but rather to the fear of sex for the first time.
#1, Day 5




                           64
                  I was in a car driving. I had an older lady, my aunt, in the back
                seat and two or three young guys also in the car. We were showing
                them the scenery. There were big, ancient trees, evergreens,
                monkey trees, which is my personal favourite. There was a body
                of water to the left. I had them choose a CD to play and I cranked
                the volume up. My aunt didn’t mind. I felt important. We stopped
                and were going into a dance. I was dressed up and felt really good.
                You could go stand in a spotlight then, hopefully, your dream date
                would come up and introduce themselves to you. I scanned the
                room and spotted a man with long, dark hair and dark features. I
                felt a connection with him. Three others and I went to stand in the
                spotlight. Immediately a man came up and escorted a girlfriend
                away. I then found a table with three friends sitting opposite. I
                had extra shoes, my briefcase and stuff I was organizing at my
                feet. I felt confident that my date would come. #12, Day 8



                 CARING FOR A SICK PERSON
                  I am watching a nurse watching an old woman waiting for
                treatment in Emergency suddenly go into cardiac arrest. She
                applied some kind of medicine to try to save the old woman’s life,
                like she was trying to be heroic, not because she cared. She was
                looking for credit for saving someone’s life. #6, Day 7




Mind;             My husband, daughter, and I are visiting our friends in Calgary.
DREAMS;         They live in a big house and have many guests visiting from
Caretaking      Holland. Our friend is trying to be a good host, but I notice that he
                is sick and feverish. I’m trying to talk him into getting himself to
(2 provers)     bed where he can be taken care of. He is in rough shape and is
                sweating heavily. I feel bad that he’s that ill and still wants to take
                care of us. #10, Day 4
Mind;
DREAMS;
Disease; sick     I dreamt that someone was having a heart attack. I have dream
people          this before because of my father having had a heart attack. This
(2 provers)     time, however, I noticed that this person was having a heart
                attack. I called out to my husband for help. Everything ran
                efficiently. Usually in this dream there is something I can’t get to.
Mind;           This time, systematically in my head I know what to do. I’m super
DREAMS;         strong. He’s lying on the floor. I pick him up and carry him to the
School          front. I lay him down and unbutton his shirt and realized that he’s
                having an allergic reaction – red hives, small dots of bright red. I
(7 provers)
                see that his skin is all bumpy and it’s not a heart attack.

                                            65
              Everything ran smoothly. In the life situation and in previous
              dreams like this I never manage to get help in time. In this dream,
              I was even planning ahead. I was just doing my job and doing it
              well, feeling completely competent. #10, Day 15




              SCHOOL/TEACHER

              An exam. A group of people and we all have been given an
              introduction/information. We have to demonstrate our knowledge
              now. All of us have to do this together or the process will be
              abandoned. I ask, “What exactly do you want us to comment on?
              How do you want us to present?” #1, Day 1



              I was starting a new semester in school and we received info on
              our new courses. I had even forgotten that we had to switch
              classes already and I hadn’t done all of my assignments from the
              first semester courses. I had to still read a full book and write an
              essay on it for one class. The exercise to show how much work we
*Mind;        still had ahead of us was that we had to trace a series of lines on
DREAMS;       paper that was handed out to rows of us students in out seats. We
School;       were seated in two long rows facing each other at rows of long
corrupted     tables. The competition was to see who could finish the fastest,
              but we barely, at first, knew what the instructions were. Once we
(1 prover)
              understood what to do, it still took a long time to complete it. I
*Mind;        think I felt like I and my team were winning. After awhile I
DREAMS;       started to see the pointlessness in it since we were supposed to
Embrace;      have started much earlier and in a different location, but we
bodies        continued though it was futile. We wondered about the corruption
merge, in     of the system that made us start so late and some of us formed
(1 prover)    discussion groups for what to do about it. It was a very
              devastating realization that our school system was corrupt and
              our futures were in jeopardy. When I was kind of awake, I was
*Mind;        still waiting and going in and out of the dream to check the
DREAMS;       process and see if anything had changed. #11, Day 15
Teacher,
former
(3 provers)   I’m meeting with a friend I haven’t seen in awhile. He has asked
              me to come and meet him in his classroom (he’s a teacher). On
              seeing him I am overcome with a tender, loving feeling. I walk up
              to the front of the classroom and we hug. We stay in this embrace
              for a very long time and I have the sensation that our bodies are

                                         66
                merging and I am losing the sense of distinction between us. It is
                an incredibly pleasant experience. #10, Day 15


                I am talking with a former teacher. She is wearing a cotton white
                tunic and a necklace with a round copper piece on it. I ask her
                why she didn’t continue in university. She tells me that it was
                because she had a family to raise and take care of. #10, Day 15


                Dreamt of the director of the school and his daughter. #10, Day 15



                Dreamt I was going back to my junior high school and I was
                worried about remembering how the block/class rotation worked.
                I was worried about fitting in. #3, Day 13



                Received more homework in the mail. Opened the envelope and
                my jaw dropped in disbelief. #3, Day 11


*Mind;          The camping group scattered and the teachers blew a bog horn or
DREAMS;         bugle. I was asleep at the top of the slide. I couldn’t wake up to go
Sleep, slide,   and participate with the group. I finally pulled myself up, slid
on top of       down the slide and stumbled over. Sheets were being handed out
(1 prover)      to walk over to another area to participate in a game at another
                building. It looked like an office. One section was for the hospital
                staff. I was surprised to see that in the end, there were only a
Mind;           couple of children per room. #12, Day 13
DREAMS;
Fights
(2 provers)

                 STRUGGLE
Mind;
DREAMS;          A dentist was trying to get his hands in my mouth. I grabbed his
Geometrical      wrists and pushed him away. I woke up angry and anxious that I
figures          was aggravating from the proving and wondering how I would
                 get through work. #3, Day 2
(1 prover)

                 I am a patron in a restaurant showing myself to a table near the
*Mind;           bar. I can hear the manager asking an employee to get the tray
DREAMS;
Colours;
blue, deep,                                67
dark
(1 prover)
                from me. I took a wrong turn, and now I’m in a mall very close
                and convenient to where I’m staying in California. I’m in a deli
                where the food looks great. Some guy shoves me, He’s wearing a
                shaker knit sweater from the ‘80’s. I’ve got a hold of his wrists so
                he can’t punch me. I’m trying to talk him out of making a scene,
                saying he’s sweet and funny and too sophisticated to fight in a
                deli. #3, Day 10


                I dreamed of punching and kicking my daughter and her fiancée
                in the face and head repeatedly, trying to tell them the how
                dangerous drinking can be. I did not seem to be making any
                impression, to be hurting them, so I continued. Then I was in a
                big store with the fiancée and I lost him in it. I noticed these big
Mind;
                washers and dryers and I did some laundry there. There were all
DREAMS;
                these white towels that fell out of the dryer. I called him on the
Singing, of
                cell phone to tell him where I was. Then there was a different
(1 prover)      scene with a young girl who had a problem with her parents. I
                was unable to do anything for her, but I thought that she needed
                Arnica. Then there were these geometric designs against a deep,
Mind;           dark blue background, like a starry night sky, that I seemed to
DREAMS;         be manipulating with my finger, as though I had a cursor. They
Piano,          were small circles joined with lines. Back to the little girl…I
playing, of     ordered food with her parents in this restaurant. It came and the
(1 prover)      man complained that there wasn’t enough meat on his. I gave
                him 3 slices of ham from my plate to placate him. #6, Day 3

Mind;
DREAMS;
Intruder,
intruders;
                * MUSIC & ART
sees
               Also in the dream at the Homeopathy School there was a woman
(1 prover)
               who was a singer, a classical singer like I am (in life). We were
               talking about someone who had been hired to sing this aria that I
Mind;          thought was normally sung by a mezzo-soprano and she said that
DREAMS;        there’s a new way of classifying singers. She mentioned some
Grotesque      word that I don’t remember, but it was a word used to classify
               singers that can sing Strauss, and that’s me. #6, Day 2
(1 prover)
               A large place and a group of people. Everyone has his or her
               specialty. Mine is the piano. #1, Day 1
*Mind;
DREAMS;
Trucks, big,
old, to the
brim, filled
(1 prover)
                                          68
                  DANGER

                  I have come home and been alone in the house for a couple of
                  hours. Someone else comes home and I find out that I haven’t
                  been alone. A man was hiding in the bathroom the whole time. I
                  felt shocked at the realization of the profound danger of the
                  situation. #1, Day 2



                   BIG TRUCKS

                   Huge, very tall working trucks with large, grotesquely figured
                  men on them. #1, Day 6

                    Last night’s dreams have a lot of clutter in them: a lot of objects
                  and people around. I have a vision of a room in which is my
                  cousin and a friend. I can’t grasp what is really going on. There
                  was a counter, like in a store with a lot of things behind it. My
                  cousin was working on something in front of the counter. My
                  friend was shopping, pulling items down. We were leaving this
                  shop on the back of a big, old truck. It was like the truck was piled
                  high and we were up on top of all the goods. It reminded me of a
Mind;             third world country. The big, old ton truck was filled to the brim,
DREAMS;           but you could see all the items through its wooden slats.
Graves; falling   #12, Day 6
into a grave,
waking her        I am loading a three-ton truck with recyclables to take off the
                  island. I can’t finish on time to catch the last ferry off the island
(1 prover)        before dark. I am trying to figure out how to back the truck up in
*Mind;            the dark. I can’t see clearly, and am uncertain if I should go off
DREAMS;           island in the dark, go back to the school/tax centre. #9, Day 1
Road, broken,
crumbling
(2 provers)        FALLING
[See prover
number six in       (This dream in inspired by a novel I’ve just finished reading.) I
pre-proving       grave and my grandmother’s coffin is in it. Its depth is to
dream.]           accommodate other family members when the time comes. I am
                  on the edge, then somehow leaning over/in. I don’t know what I
                  am holding onto, but it seems as though I am about to fall in. The
                  feeling is fear and inevitability. I awoke from this dream at 3:00
                  a.m. and didn’t get back to sleep, so very tired today. Thinking
                  about the dream led to thinking about many things, which kept
                  me awake. #1, Day 10




                                              69
               BROKEN ROAD



                Recurrence of an old dream of driving uphill, the hill inclines
              more and more, then I can’t see what’s on the other side and it
              becomes a drop off, followed by a steep decline. I get more and
              more freaked out because I’m afraid of heights. The asphalt is
              crumbly and broken up, more rigid, black and grey. The wheels
              were just coming over the edge of the top, and then I couldn’t see
              what was on the other side. The asphalt was different but the
              feeling was the same. #10, Day 9



               LATE

               I am at work and supposed to go pick up my mother. I have
Mind;         managed to get off early, but when the time comes I can’t find my
DREAMS;       keys and keep going around in circles. It’s getting later and later
Late, being   until I’m already an hour late and I still haven’t managed to get
              away. The feeling is very anxious. #1, Day 13
(1 prover)


Mind;          *MOTHER (See Children/Family Love in (Mind’)
DREAMS;
Betrayed,      Dream of a party with ex-partner and his cousin and my sister.
being          Mother shows up and we yell at her, “time to deal with your
               emotional issues.” She tried to verbally attack us. #2, Day 10
(2 provers)


               BETRAYAL

                I am at work, though not a familiar workplace and everyone is
              sitting around a long table. Some of the people at the other end of
              the table from me appear to be in a meeting, while those of us at
              the other end are socializing a little. I start to realize that I’m
              supposed to be at the meeting. When it ends someone from the
              meeting makes an issue of the fact that I missed it. I feel badly,
              but after awhile I start to question why they waited until the end
              of the meeting when I’d been at work all along and they could
              have simply reminded me and I could have participated. This
              became the main feeling: my anger rising up because “it wasn’t
              right,” something felt underhanded; indirect. #1, Day 14


                                         70
                I’m holding hands and wrestling with by best friend’s husband.
                Her sister saw us and was angry with me. I felt like a horrible
                person for not realizing that it was wrong and I knew she would
                tell my friend. I want to get to my friend to tell her myself.
                #3, Day 16


                 WHALES
                 Flying over the Vancouver harbour and seeing beautiful Orcas,
Mind;            approx. 10, breeching and playing. After leaving the float plane I
DREAMS;          needed to get somewhere but couldn’t find my way. I got very
Animals,         frustrated and angry. My ex-partner was there. #2, Day 17
whales, of
(2 provers)
                 CAN’T FIND MY WAY
                 Exploring a rural area close to a beach and found many
Mind;            wonderful seashells – black and bright blue. I wanted to return
DREAMS;          from where I had come, but couldn’t find my way. This
Lost, being      frightened me. #2, Day 17
(1 prover)


*Mind;           SPA
DREAMS;
Hair colored,    I’m having my hair done in a new colour called “honey” and all
nails pointed    of the hairdressers are excited because it was the first time it
                 had been used. My nails were being pointed, too. #3, Day 11
(1 prover)
Mind;
DREAMS;
Friends; old,    PULSATING NECK
boyfriend
                 Dreamed of waking and writing about a pulsating neck for the
(1 prover)       proving. #3, Day 2


Mind;
DREAMS;
                 * CONNECTING WITH FRIENDS
Friends; old
                 Dreamed that an old friend came to work. I was pissed off that
(1 prover)
                 he would come there after I’ve asked him not to, yet happy that
                 he’s still alive. #3, Day 2
Mind;
DREAMS;
                 Dream of old friend from high school. #10, Day 6
Carefree
(1 prover)                                71
                * DETACHED
                 I am stretched out, almost lounging behind the bar at work, in
               front of guests, eating a huge bowl of fresh prawns. I had no
               concern for the well being of the guests or what they would think
               of me. I was only thinking about how I could get someone to bring
               me more cocktail sauce. I’m throwing the tails of the prawns
               recklessly about. #3, Day 5
Mind;
DREAMS;
Dead, Bodies     The last dream I remember (for day two) was walking through
               this classmate’s house. This time it was smaller and less
(1 prover)
               decadent. I opened the front door to find that the front walk was
               actually this really deep trench. In it were old pieces of wet, mossy
Mind;          driftwood logs. I began pulling them up one by one to help clear it
DREAMS;        so a proper sidewalk could be poured. At one point, I thought one
Country,       of the logs was a body part, an arm with the elbow. Then I pulled
foreign        up a small head with long, dark hair, though there was no blood
               or grotesqueness to it. I was a little freaked out by the thought of a
(2 provers)    body being down there. I found a way across it by getting the
               water hose. Then there appeared a couple of policemen walking
               into the house by the trench. I walked over to tell them about the
Mind;          heads. (I had found another one prior to the one with black hair,
DREAMS;        but it was less clearly a head.) The policemen looked nonchalantly
laundry        and said that it was just a mask. There was no fear as I was
(2 provers)    pulling things out of this trench. I was just trying to be helpful and
               clear stuff out of the way. I felt more disbelief and amazement.
               #12, Day 2
Mind;
DREAMS;
Movie,
shooting a      * FOREIGN PLACES
(2 provers)      I am in Paris, driving through the French countryside. The
               blossoms are so beautiful! The house we are going to stay in is
               just gorgeous. Now in the city, the buildings are so old, and the
               apartment is perfect. The lines for the bathroom are so long. I
               forgot my shampoo for the shower. I don’t care about the
               shampoo because I’ll lose my place if I go back for it. #3, Day 6


                 In another dream I was visiting old friends or relatives, but it
               was as if we were in a Bed and Breakfast. It was still in this
               foreign, tropical country. I walked into the bedroom to get dirty
               laundry. My mother appeared and informed me that some of the

                                          72
              laundry I was picking up was already folded and clean. I was
              concerned for my father. #12, Day 2




               MOVIE
              I’m shooting a movie and I have a funny line where I walk away
              from four regular guests at their table (I know them in life). I’m
              walking up a huge, long hill to get the four guys coffee. #3, Day 12



               PANIC
              I’m in Skagway (sp?) and I’ve missed my ship. I’m running along
Mind;         the rocky shore to get the next boat and feeling very panicked.
DREAMS;       #3, Day 14
Hurried
(1 prover)
              I had a frustrating waitress dream where the entire restaurant
Mind;         was full before opening time. The first table I approached kept
DREAMS;       changing their minds and wouldn’t allow me to get to the other
Proving       tables. I’m very stressed but trying not to let it show. #3, Day 17
remedy
(2 provers)

               FAILURE
Mind;
DREAMS;         Had a dream of sitting around a table with other provers and
Furniture     they were all discussing similar symptoms, none of which
              matched my symptoms. I was mortified, thinking, “What’s wrong
(1 prover)    with me? Has this all been a waste of time? I’m a bad prover!”
              One talks like Charlie Brown’s teacher. #3, Day 16



              TABLE
              A beautiful wood table that extends and fold up several different
              ways. This is a real find but I can afford it. I have no room, but
              this is so special so I made room for it. My dad was with me. #3,
              Day 18




                                         73
              ANXIETY ABOUT HEALTH
              Dreams involving anxiety about partner’s health. #4, Day 10


              I dreamt that I was in a yard doing some work. My husband was
              there, not feeling well. He went to bed, as he was really sick. I
              had my daughter and her friend with me, and they were reading
              a book. The friend was reading out loud and said the “f-word”
              as she read. Her dad was sitting beside me and had her bring the
              book over. They were late for school. The four of us went
              outside. My daughter’s friend was on her scooter. The girls were
              much younger in the dream than they are in life. The girls and I
              crossed the street, they ahead of me. My glasses fell to the
              ground. A big, white, box-cube ton truck drove by. I was
              concerned about my glasses so I walked back up the hill. I
              couldn’t find them. The girls ran head around the school to go in
              the office door. I was worried about my husband’s health as I
              waited for the father of the girlfriend to come out of the house.
              #12, Day 7



              FAILED TRIP
              Frustrating dream in which I wanted to go on a trip but couldn’t
              get organized to do it. #4, Day 15



              TUNNEL
              I dreamt about a girl whose case I took last night. She is slowly
Mind;         walking down in a gigantic, hollow, bright cocoon-like tunnel.
DREAMS;       This tunnel is a very confined space. There is no danger but yet
Tunnels       there is the will to get out and reach the end. I am mentally with
(1 prover)    her in the tunnel but I am also able to step back and see the
              overall picture. #5, Day 4
Mind;
DREAMS;
Warts
(1 prover)    WARTS

             There was also something about my grandmother, who had at one
             time a lot of large warts all over her hands. I was half-dreaming,
             half-wondering if that was related to some venereal disease that
             was somehow in the family. #6, Day 2


                                       74
                 POSSESSIONS LOST
                I am waiting at Customs to cross the border while traveling to
                New York. All of my stuff is spread out - pots and pans, survival
                gear since I plan to stay there in a tent. I present my documents to
                a camera rather than to a person. All of my stuff gets stolen while
                I’m talking to these two girls, offering them a spot in my tent.
                We’re thinking about the weather, wondering if it will be too hot
                with three in a small tent. #6, Day, Day 13


                FALSE PERSONA
Mind;
DREAMS;         Dreaming about looking so very different – wearing a bad wig. It’s
Identity, of,   like I am someone else. I have a different body type. It’s as though
false           I am discovering that how I portray myself to the world is false.
                Something about Martin Scorsese. More about being false.
(1 prover)
                #6, Day 16

Mind;
DREAMS;          FIRE
Fire, of
(4 provers)      There is a big fire set very close to our country house (back
                home in Russia). I was trying to extinguish the fire so it wouldn’t
                get to the house. I was at a family gathering with parents, aunt,
Mind;           uncle and cousins at the country house. #7, Day 3
DREAMS;
Family, own     I dreamt of a big house on fire. I was outside watching. I saw
                someone throw a cigarette down on the ground and the grass
(12 provers)    caught fire around it. #12, Day 9

                A bamboo or marijuana plant at the back door bursts into flames.
                #9, Day 1

                I was in a small office building working. Someone came in to say
                that there was a fire on the fourth floor. I looked for a fire
                extinguisher and got into this elevator that was full of stuff, with a
                man who was my boss. #12, Day 10



                 * FAMILY LOVE

                My daughter, husband and I were at our country house back in
                Russia, riding our bicycles to a nearby lake. It was a joyful feeling.


                                            75
              #7, Day 19

              In another dream I was with my daughter, stopping at a
              department store looking for a gift. I was in the baby department,
              looking at all these stuffed animals hanging along the perimeter of
              the ceiling: Tigger, Winnie the Pooh, etc. I was looking for the
              right outfit in which to dress a stuffed animal. #12, Day 6



               NO DREAMS

Mind;         When trying to remember dreams, the only thing that came to
DREAMS;       mind was bits of ideas, nothing coming together to form any kind
Unremem-      of thought process. Everything was disjointed; nothing was able to
bered         fit together. #8, Day 2

(4 provers)
              I cannot remember my dreams. This unusual for me. #8, Day 3
Mind;
              Frustrating as this seems blocked. The dreams are not letting me
DREAMS;
              remember what they are! #8, Day 9
Old;
growing,
aging
(1 prover)    Had a significant dream around 6:00 a.m. and meant to get up and
              write it down, but now can’t remember it. #11, Day 14

Mind;
DREAMS;
Metal         My dreams are more scattered, less sequential than at the start of
              the proving. I can only recall small parts. #12, Day 6
(1 prover)


Mind;
DREAMS;        OLD
Gold
              I am playing volleyball, and there’s a cute, young guy. I brush
(1 prover)    against his arm so he will notice me. I’m feeling that he won’t
              notice me, he’s too cute. I’m getting old and not so attractive, not
              so independent, capable. #9, Day 1




               PRECIOUS METALS
              Visions like in a mine of chunks of gold and copper, like a big

                                         76
               rock. It was actually outside of a mine, which looked like a cave,
               then off to the right of the mine was a big, gold-coloured rock. #10,
               Day 1




Mind;           BLOOD
DREAMS;
Blood          Dream of a light-skinned, blonde girl vampire with blood dripping
               out of the side of her mouth. #10, Day 2
(2 provers)
               I was going to be caring for someone’s house while they were
               away. They showed me to the room in which I would be sleeping.
Mind;          It was much different from the rest of the house. The room was
DREAMS;        decorated by some psycho grandma: there were teddy bears
Snow           hanging from the rafters; tea parties of dolls covered in blood, etc.
(1 prover)     I knew that something bad was going to happen to me either then
               or if I took the job. I felt like they might hold me prisoner.
               #2, Day 8
Mind;
DREAMS;
Smoking
(1 prover)      BAREFOOT IN THE SNOW
                I am walking barefoot in the snow. #10, Day 11
Vertigo;
TURNING;
Agg.; motion    SMOKING
of head, or
(1 prover)      I was smoking and really enjoying it. (I am a non-smoker.) #10,
                Day 12

Head;
TINGLING,
prickling
                VERTIGO
(1 prover)
                Slightly dizzy in the morning while moving head, lasting 3 to 5
Head; PAIN;     seconds. Head feels light and feeling a little confused. #2, Day 2
Migraine;
menses,
before or
after           HEAD
(1 prover)     Tingling like a fuzzy aura. #1, Day 2
Head; PAIN;
Right          Sensation of fullness and heaviness for approx. one hour after
(1 prover)
                                          77
Head;
COTTON, as
of
                  rising. #3, Day 1

                  The migraine headache that I often suffer, that usually starts on
                  the third day of the period, started to come on. By mid-afternoon,
                  it was raging, and I was unable to work. By evening it was
                  horrible, one of the worst I have experienced. #6, Day 1

                  Pain in occiput on jarring head. #7, Day 7

Head; WILD        Sensation as if head is packed with cotton, particularly in the
feeling           occiput. #7, Day 7
(1 prover)        A dull headache over my right eye around 9:00 a.m.. After a nap at
Head; PAIN;       1:30 pm., it moved to the middle on the right side. By the end of
Sides; left       the day, it had diffused to just the right side. It was a pressing
                  pain. #8, Day 2
(2 provers)
Head; PAIN;       I fell asleep on the cough sitting up with my head bent to the left,
Pressing;         leaning against the couch around 10:00 p.m.. I woke up with a
pressure;         rushing water sound on the left side of my head around the ear. It
amel.             was a swooshing, pulsing feeling and my left eye was watering a
                  lot. I went back to sleep in the same position, and it happened a
(2 provers)       second time. I decided to lay down on the couch as I was afraid
Head; PAIN;       that I was going to die of a stroke. #8, Day 5
Vertex;
motion; agg.      Head feels wild, wide-awake. The energy feels like a wind blowing
                  inside my head, like an eddy. #9, Day 2
(2 provers)
Head; PAIN;       The odd pain, aching, on the left side of the head at 6:30 p.m. for 1
Dull; forehead;   or 2 minutes. #9, Day 17
eyes; above;
extending to      Intense pain in the occiput on the left side, pressing and pulsating
vertex            pain, better with pressure. #10, Day 2

(1 prover)        Bursts of pain logged in my head when I cough. #11, Day 13
Head; PAIN;       Head hurts in both sides near the top at the back of my head only
Pressing;         when I shake it, cough, or make any other sudden movements.
vertex;           #11, Day 14
extending;
downward          I have a little bit of itching on my scalp on the back of my head.
(1 prover)        Head is finally clear of the cold. #11, Day 19
Head; PAIN;       A short aching headache while doing the dinner dishes at 6:00 p.m.
Pulsating,        from the eyes up through the vertex. I wanted to lie down and
throbbing;        close my eyes in the peace and quiet. #12, Day 3
temples; left
(1 prover)        After sleep, I felt pressure on the vertex, almost an ache, but more
Head; PAIN;
Pulsating                                    78
throbbing;
Forehead;
eyes, above
                   a dull pressure pushing from the top down around the head, only
                   half way down the head. #12, Day 4

                   There is a slight throbbing in the left side of the head about the
                   temple in the early afternoon. It’s like the ear throbbing from
                   yesterday moved upwards. #12, Day 7

                   I have light pulsating in the forehead over both eyes in the
                   afternoon for a few minutes. #12, Day 13




Eyes; PAIN;        EYES
Burning,
smarting, biting   My eyes are burning and dry with fatigue. #2, Day 12, Day 13
(2 provers)        Copious discharge in the corners of the eyes this morning.
Eyes; ITCHING;     #3, Day 8
Canthi; outer
                   Eyes are dry, tired, and itchy in the inner and outer corners. #3,
(1 prover)
                   Day 12
Eyes; ITCHING;
Canthi; inner      Very sensitive to light around 4:30 p.m. Though the sky was
                   overcast, my eyes hurt as I was driving. I was squinting and
(1 prover)
                   putting down the visor to reduce the light. #8, Day 2
Eyes;
                   At 11:30 p.m. while watching a movie my left eye started watering
LACHRYMA-
                   profusely for abut a minute. #8, Day 6
TION; General;
air; open; agg.    My eyes feel pulled back in my head, as if rolling backwards and
(1 prover)         upwards in their sockets. #9, Day 2
Eyes; LIGHT;       Tired and dry but not itchy. #11, Day 1
Agg.; daylight
(2 provers)        Kept getting stuff stuck in my eye while cycling. #11, Day 3
Eyes; PAIN;
Sand, as from
(2 provers)        My left eye felt like there was something scraping it under the
                   eyelid. It was like a tiny, sharp wire scraping along the side of my
Eyes; PAIN;        eyeball. #11, Day 4
Pulled; upward,
as if
(1 prover)
                   Watery and sensitive to air in the morning. #11, Day 13
Eyes; TIRED;
Sensation
(2 provers)
Eyes;                                         79
SWELLING;
sensation of
(1 prover)
                    Feeling pressure in my eyes, inside the eyeball and pushing
                    outward to the circumference in all directions. #12, Day 4


                    Eyes are more tired than usual. At 6:00 p.m. it feels like I was
                    straining my eyes on the computer all day. It feels like grit or sand
                    stuck in my eyeball. Rubbing provided some relief. #12, Day 4



                    Eyes feeling tired off and on with slight burning. #12, Day 13




*Eyes; VISION;      VISION
light; balls out
of the corners,     Saw light balls out of the corners of my eyes, moving along the
moving along        floor, like mice darting around and disappearing. #3, Day 8
the floor,
darting,
disappearing        Every once in awhile I will catch a glimpse of an object moving
                    quickly out of the corner. #11, Day 19
(1 prover)


*Eyes; VISION ;
Objects; moving
quickly out of
the corner
(1 prover)
Ears; PAIN;
Right; left, then
                    EAR
(1 prover)
*Ear; PAIN;           Sharp pain for 2 to 3 minutes in the right ear. This happened in
Sharp, ringing      the right ear at 5:00 p.m. and in the left ear at 9:00 p.m.. The
sound,              sensation is like the ear is being pulled up into the head.
accompanied by      #2, Day 12
(1 prover)            Sharp, knife-like pain with a pulling inward sensation in the
                    right ear accompanied by a ringing sound for 2 or 3 seconds. After
                    this the hearing is very sharp for 2 or 3 minutes. #2, Day 17
                    Itchy with lots of bright yellow wax, worse in the right ear. #3,
                    Day 5



                                               80
                     Ears popped today when coming down from Squamish and then
                    did the same again while blowing my nose. #11, Day 14

                    Squeaky sound when I blew my nose, like my ears were de-
                    pressurizing. #11, Day 15, Day 16

                    Slight ache (pulsating) in the right ear; burning in the left ear.
                    #12, Day 6



                    HEARING
Hearing;
ACUTE                Very acute; hearing every buzz, every little noise. Hearing is
                    heightened. #2, Day 3
(1 prover)
                     Heightened hearing. Small background noises seem to be very
*Hearing;
                    present. #2, Day 4
NOISES;
Ringing; hearing      There is a ringing sound in the ear for a short period, 2 or 3
sharp, followed     seconds before the hearing seems to become very sharp, as
by                  though I could hear a pin drop in a room. #2, Day 12
(1 prover)          Ringing in my ears. #2, Day 20
Nose; PAIN;
Boring; root
(1 prover)          NOSE
Nose;               1:30 p.m. had sinus pain; as if an ice pick was being driven
HEAVINESS;          through the root of my nose. By 3:00 p.m. felt as though I had
Sinuses             heavy glasses on. #3, Day 2
(1 prover)
                    Some sinus pressure lingering from yesterday. #3, Day 3
Nose;
CONGESTION          Nose bleeding in the shower. #8, Day 1
(1 prover)          Nose is stuffed up. #9, Day 4
Nose;               Mildly congested in the morning. #10, Day 1
DISCHARGE;
Green               Stuffed with thick, green mucous. Can breathe through my nose
                    with effort. #11, Day 13
(1 prover)
Face;               Almost blocked completely. If I breathe through only one nostril it
TINGLING,           sounds squeaky, like a badly player recorder/flute! I am blowing
prickling           my nose often, especially when I’m talking a lot. #11, Day 14
(1 prover)          Blocked still. Have to blow it often and when I do I get large
*Face; NOSE,        amounts of viscous, green, slimy mucous. #11, Day 15, Day 16
external; Bridge,
tingling
(1 prover)                                      81
Face; PAIN;
Jaws
                    FACE

                    Tingling like a fuzzy aura. #1, Day 2

                    Dryness where the nostril flares. #3, Day 13
                    Tingling sensation at the bridge of the nose while labouring to
                    take in enough oxygen. Tension in nostrils. #4, Day 3
                    Tension in jaw. #4, Day 4, Day 5
Face; TINGLING,     Jaw and teeth aching with a bit of a headache. #4, Days 11, 12, 13
prickling; Lips     A tickly sensation around my lips upon waking, similar to a
(1 prover)          sensation I have before an outbreak of herpes around the lips.
Face;
                    #5, Day 1
DISCOLORATIO        One cold sore after the other throughout the proving. #9, Day 1-21
N; Red; cheeks
                    Face feels hot and flushed and my cheeks are bright red. I feel
ERUPTIONS;          feverish. The flushed cheeks have been on and off for the past few
Acne                days, but I noticed it more today as it is quite obvious. Took my
(2 provers)         temperature and it was only slightly elevated. #10, Day 12
Face;               Pimples on my chin. #10, Day 15
ERUPTIONS;
Acne; chin          Eczema started to flare up before the proving started in red, itchy
                    patches. #11, Day 1
(1 prover)
                    Dry skin in spots with a tiny bit of painless flaking on the cheeks,
Face;
                    more on the left side. Also a tiny bit on the inner left eyelid. #11,
ERUPTIONS;
Eczema; cheeks
                    Day 19

(1 prover)          I have a couple of pimples on my face. #12, Day 13
Face;
ERUPTIONS;
Eczema; eyes,
about
(1 prover)
                    MOUTH
Mouth;
Face; Mouth;        Canker sores in mouth on the right side, close to the lip. #2, Day 1
ERUPTIONS;
General; pimples;    I have a small pimple on the front left past of the tongue. It’s not
gums                sore. Canker sore on the right side of the mouth is not as
(1 prover)          sore/sensitive as it was yesterday. It is red and inflamed, but not
                    swollen, while the canker itself is white. The pimple was gone by
APHTHAE; Lips,
                    evening. #2, Day 2
inner side
(1 prover)
                     I have a small pimple on the left lower tip of my tongue. It’s not
                    painful. The canker sores are getting smaller, not painful.
Mouth;
ERUPTIONS;
General; pimples;                               82
tongue; tip
(1 prover)
                    Midnight pimple sensitive. #2, Day 3
                    Slightly sore/raw sensation in the night by the upper lip, where the
                    canker sore was, when eating. #2, Day 6
                     New canker sore developing on right lower lip; the previous one
                     on right upper lip is gone. The new one is raw and rough,
                     sensitive to the touch; not painful. #2, Day 9
                     Canker sore on lower right lip inside the mouth feels sore and
                     raw and is sensitive to touch. It’s not bothered by warm or cold
                     drinks and not painful. #2, Day 10
                     Lower right inside of the mouth – two canker sores join into one
                     large one. It has become painful, raw and sore, sensitive now to
                     temperature and touch. #2, Day 11, Day 12
Mouth;
ERUPTIONS;           Canker sores on the lower right inside lip. Sore, raw, slightly
General; Mouth;      sunken; sensitive to cold and hot and any touch. #2, Day 13
vesicles; gums       Canker sore gone, but a new one has developed on my tongue on
(1 prover)           the right side; not overly painful but sensitive to touch. #2, Day
                     20, Day 21
Mouth;
ERUPTIONS;           Very dry on waking. #3, Day 7, Day 9, Day 10
General; herpes
                     Blister between the lower front teeth bled after brushing the
(2 provers)          teeth. #5, Day 10
Mouth;               Developed a little painful white pimple just below the above
DISCOLORAT-
                     blister. #5, Day 10
ION; Yellow;
tongue
                     Little white pimple on the gum between the lower front teeth
(1 prover)           still there. #5, Day 11
Mouth;
CRACKED,             Tongue coated with a yellow, mustard-like colour. #7, Day 3
fissured; General    A little sensitive on the right side of the tip of my tongue.
(2 provers)          Previously when drinking something out of a bottle, felt a little
                     irritated on that spot, as though there was sand in my drink.
Throat;
EXCORIA-TION
                     #11, Day 3

(2 provers)          Lips are shiny and dry and cracked at the edges of my mouth.
Throat; ITCHING      There is mucous globules at the corners of my mouth.
                     #11, Day 14
(1 prover)
Teeth; PAIN;         Lips dry and cracking. Mouth felt like it was lined with sand.
Lower; left          #11, Day 16
(1 prover)
                     Noticed around 11:00 a.m. a small crack in the right corner of my
Throat;              mouth. It feels like someone nicked me with a knife. Prior to this
COLDNESS; Icy        there was the sensation of a cold sore starting. #12, Day 2
(1 prover)
Throat;
DRYNESS;                                       83
Swallowing; agg.
(1 prover)
                    Cold sore on the bottom lip, right side that lasted for two days.
                   #12, Day 16




                   TEETH

                   Brushing my teeth this morning and at bedtime I have nerve pain
                   particularly on the left side, more so on the bottom, at the base of
                   the tooth on the gum line. #12, Day 5, 6

                   THROAT
Stomach;
APPETITE;          Icy sensation at the back of the throat almost constant, but not
Diminished         very intense. Can feel this on deep inhalations/exhalations. #2,
                   Day 3
(4 provers)
Stomach;           Around midnight, sore throat at the back of the mouth, maybe
APPETITE;          adenoids. #3, Day 1
Insatiable
                   Dry on waking. Swallowing felt like pins. #3, Day 8
(1 prover)
                   Throat is sore. #9, Day 4
Throat;
SWALLOW-           I felt a rawness in my throat, scratchy and tickly and made me
ING; Aversion to   feel like swallowing. Kind of an acrid rawness so much that I
                   tasted the inside of my throat. #11, Day 10
(1 prover)
                   Raw, scraping pain in the throat due to the cough and the phlegm
Stomach; PAIN;     that suddenly and harshly whipping past the inside of my throat.
Cramping,          #11, Day 17
griping,
constricting;      This morning there is a tickling itch in my throat. #12, Day 13
noon               1:00 p.m. Ate a chocolate bar and within 30 minutes felt a burning
(1 prover)         at the base of the throat, like heartburn. #12, Day 3
Stomach;
FULLNESS
(1 prover)
Stomach;           STOMACH
VOMITING;
General;           Appetite reduced. #1, Day 7
nausea; during
                   Not much appetite; just not thinking about food. #2, Day 3
(2 provers)
Stomach;           At 1:00 a.m. I have a sharp pain in the lower abdomen, just above
THIRST;            the navel. The pains last for approx. 20 seconds, then stop for 2 or
Unquenchable,
constant
                                               84
(1 prover)
                 3 seconds. This continued for 3 to 5 minutes. Not hungry on
                 waking. #2, Day 3
                 Barely ate. Hungry but can’t eat because I just don’t seem to want
                 to swallow. #2, Day 19
                 Very hungry today. Ate a large dinner, but hungry after.
                 #2, Day 20
                 Not attracted to food today. #3, Day 2
                 Feeling full and distended for what I have eaten today. #3, Day 7
Abdomen;         Cramps up high in the stomach area 11:00 a.m. until 1:00 p.m.
FULLNESS         #3, Day 14
(1 prover)
                 Awakened at 2:30 a.m. by urgent need to vomit, but only vomited
Abdomen;         a little. #4, Day 11
PAIN;
Dragging,        Nausea on waking at 6:00 a.m. followed by vomiting of partially
bearing down     digested food from dinner the night before. Nausea accompanied
                 by waves of heat in the body and sweating. Felt like an acute food
(1 prover)       poisoning. #7, Day 3
Abdomen;
PAIN; Dull;      No appetite. #11, Day 14
liver region
                 Drank lots of tea all afternoon but could not drink enough to
(1 prover)       quench my thirst.
Abdomen;
PAIN; Spots,
in
(1 prover)
Abdomen;
PAIN; Stinging
(1 prover)
Abdomen;
PAIN; Right
(1 prover)
Abdomen;
PAIN;            ABDOMEN
Drawing; sides
                 Sense of fullness worse with restriction of clothing. #1, Day 7
(1 prover)
Abdomen;         Lower right abdominal pain with bearing down sensation. Tender
PAIN;            to touch and feels a little swollen. Pain extending down the right
Burning,         leg to the mid thigh. Warmth from the shower made it better.
smarting         Morning onset; finished in the afternoon. #2, Day 9
(1 prover)
Abdomen;                                    85
PAIN;
Wandering
                   Dull pain on the left side just under the ribs in the evening
                   6:00 - 9:00 p.m.. #8, Day 5, 6
                   Achy pain across the abdomen. #9, Day 1

                   I awoke early in the morning to the sensation of a pinpoint of
                   stinging, then itching, a pain in one spot on the right side of the
                   abdomen just below the ribcage. #9, Day 2

                   There is a line of pressure across the middle of the abdomen from
                   one side to the other, as if a string was being pressed inward and
Bladder;           downward and pulled just above the naval. This pain was aching
URINATION;         and sometimes burning. #9, Day 2
Unsatisfactory
(1 prover)         At 9:00 p.m.. I felt a short, jabbing pain from my upper to lower
                   abdomen on the left side. It was a quick moving pain that came
Urine;             out of nowhere. Also happened the day before. #11, Day 3
SEDIMENT; Red
(1 prover)
Rectum;             BLADDER
CONSTIPATION
(3 provers)         Desire to pee, but little comes out. #2, Day 1

Rectum;
DIARRHEA
                    URINE
(2 provers)
Rectum;             Red sediment, like dried chilies. This happened earlier in the
URGING, desire;     proving as well. #3, Day 19
General; stool;
after (1 prover)
                    RECTUM
Rectum;
ITCHING            Constipation (OS - feeling constipated and pissed off about it.
(1 prover)         Want to force my body into a different state by raw and/or
                   stimulating foods ie caffeine, wine, spicy foods, stimulating herbs,
                   which I take daily and increase during these exacerbated states.
Rectum;            #1, Day 7
HEMORRHOIDS;
Menses; during     Constipated #2, Day 1, #2, Day 12
(1 prover)         Stool on waking at 9:40 a.m.. This is unusual for me on rising.
Rectum;            #3, Day 2
HEMORRHAGE;        Soft stool at the end of the movement. Lots of wiping required.
Anus, from;        #3, Day 4
menses; during
                   Diarrhea at 4:30 p.m. before work. Nervous and unsettled about
(1 prover)

                                               86
Abdomen;
NOISES;
Rumbling; loud
                     things happening at work. #3, Day 11
                    Itchy anus for about an hour around 8:30 p.m.. #3, Day 11
                    I got up at 5:30 a.m. to empty my bowels. The timing was normal,
                    but I had a marked lingering feeling of “have to go” for about 10
                    minutes after finishing. #6, Day 1
                    Today I had diarrhea and frequent urging of the bowels. I went 6
                    or 7 times throughout the day. Not depressed but tired of the
                    proving! Felt quite tired for most of the day. Also, a lot of gas with
                    the diarrhea. #6, Day 9

Stool; SMALL
                    Rumbling and gurgling in the gut could be heard across the room.
(1 prover)          #6, Day 9
Stool; HARD         Hemorrhoids bled more than usual during menses. #8, Day 1
(1 prover)          Constipated. #8, Day 18
Abdomen;
                    Some pain in the rectum passing stool. #11, Day 1
FLATULENCE
(1 prover)
Stool;              STOOL
LIENTERIC
(1 prover)          Small pieces of stool that sank. #3, Day 6
Stool; HARD;        Hard stool in the morning after walking. Usually I have very soft
First; soft, then   stool, almost diarrhea, which comes on 2 or 3 times in the
                    morning. #5, Day 4
(1 prover)
Stool; PASTY,       The first stool of the morning was hard and the second
papescent           undigested, soft, diarrhea-like. #5, Day 4
(1 prover)          Hard stool only in the morning. #5, Day 6, Day 8, Day 9
Stool; WATERY       No stool in the morning. Hard stool, almost constipated at night.
                    Lots of gas during the day. #5, Day 7
(1 prover)
Stomach;            First stool hard and the second, 30 minutes later, very soft, almost
ALTERNATING         diarrhea. #5, Day 10
states              Stool is loose and comes in small portions, three times by 1:00
(1 prover)          p.m.. #3, Day 16
Stool; BALLS;       Loose, watery stool where often constipated. #6, Day 1 – 13
Small (1 prover)
                    Loose stool after vomiting. #7, Day 3
Stool; PROFUSE
                    Stool like little rabbit pellets. #8, Day 5
(1 prover)
                    I had a larger than normal, meaning thick, stool today that did not
Female;             smell and was darker than usual. It usually offends. #11, Day 1
LEUCORRHEA;
Milky (1 prover)    Profuse stool in the early morning, only 3 1/2 hours after going to
Female; PAIN;
Vagina; menses;
during (1 prover)                                87
Female; PAIN;
Bearing down;
                 sleep, and again around noon. #11, Day 7




                 FEMALE

                 Milky leucorrhea. #2, Day 5, Day 6, Day 7, Day 8
                 Period started as usual, but really uncomfortable combined with
                 the lower back pain. Took Advil to get through work. Usually
                 during the period the genitalia is very sore and feel like it will fall
Female;          out, but not this time. #3, Day 1
MENSES;          Cramps but no pain in the genitalia and no sensation that
Painful,         everything will drop out, an improvement for me. #3, Day 2
dysmenorrhea
(1 prover)       I usually get cramps and a headache before my period, but didn’t
                 this time. #4, Day 7
                 No cramps or headache during first and second days of menses,
Female;          but extra heavy flow. #4, Day 8
MENSES;
Late, too; two   Right-sided, boring ovarian pain that started around 8:00 p.m.. It
days too late    was worse with pressure, coition and better with heat (hot water
(1 prover)       bottle). Whenever I had this in the past, I had my menses, but not
                 this time. #5, Day 2
                 Menses two days late. #5, Day 14
Female; PAIN;
Bearing down;    Really good sex with my husband. No need for the usual lubricant
menses;          for vaginal dryness. #6, Day 13
during           Menstrual pain on waking with a pulling down sensation.
(1 prover)       #7, Day 3
                 Menses came two days early. #8, Day 1

Female;          Period clotty this month. #10, Day 15
MENSES;          Felt some herpetic eruption on left inner thigh soon after first
Frequent, too    dose of the remedy. The last outbreak was just over three months
early, too       ago during a stressful time. This is the same location where they
soon; two days   generally appear. (This symptom disappeared by the next day.)
too early        #11, Day 1
(1 prover)       Body is moving into its constipated phase of my cycle. There is
                 usually increased irritability with this, part of my normal
                 symptoms picture. However, it seems to be a little earlier than
Female; PAIN;    usual. It usually happens post-ovulation into the menses; I am
Boring;          still in pre-ovulation. #1, Day 6
ovaries; right
                 I am thinking about sex more than normal. #2, Day 3
(1 prover)
                 Late afternoon between 4:30 p.m. and 5:00 p.m., frustrated

Female;                                      88
SEXUAL;
Desire;
increased
                  because of inability to focus, due to too many sexual thoughts. #2,
                  Day 4
                  Dull ache on standing in the centre of the pelvis. Worse lying
                  down, becomes sharp, knife-like. This lasted 30 minutes around
                  midnight, radiating into the genitals. #2, Day 3




Respiration;      RESPIRATORY ORGANS
ASTHMATIC
                  Chronic asthma aggravated during the course of the proving.
(2 provers)       #6, Day 1 – 30

                  A little wheezy. #11, Day 13
Respiration;
DIFFICULT;        A little laboured. I feel like I can’t breathe quickly in too far or I
Inspiration; on   will cough. Slight wheeze. #11, Day 14
(1 prover)


Cough; DRY
(1 prover)        COUGH

                  Choking, dry cough. #6, Day 1, Day 5
Cough; MUCUS,
from              Woke up an hour before rising to cough up mucous. #9, Day 1
(2 provers)       Four to six bronchial coughing spasms. #9, Day 11

                  One sudden cough while cycling. #11, Day 3
Cough;
CONVULSIVE,       A wheezy, breathy cough that makes my head hurt. I want to
spasmodic         cough hard to get the phlegm out, but that doesn’t always work.
(1 prover)        #11, Day 10

                  It’s harder to cough up the phlegm. If I do cough up phlegm, it is
Cough;            more than before. My abdominal muscles hurt while coughing.
SUFFOCATIVE       I’m starting to get a choking on the last part of the cough.
                  #11, Day 17
(2 provers)


Expectoration;
COLOR;
Greenish               EXPECTORATION
(2 provers)
                                               89

Expectoration;
COLOR; Yellow
                 Green and yellow mucous. #9, Day 11

                 I would expectorate this hard, tiny, green, pellet-like phlegm
                 with a bit of clear mucous without taste. It was like a tiny green
                 rounder egg. Other than that, I’m not feeling sick. #11, Day 13




Larynx &        LARYNX AND TRACHEA
Trachea;
INFLAMMA-       Voice has changed – very deep and raspy, breaking. I have to push
TION; Larynx    hard to get my voice out. Seem to have a virus. #9, Day 11
(2 provers)     Feeling less raw now and fully recovered, except that my voice is
                really high-pitched when I have any expression. If I am surprised
Speech &        or excited or anything above quiet talking, my voice is a squeak or
Voice; VOICE;   mostly breath rather than sound. #11, Day 13
Squeaking       I came to Squamish to go camping. Two days before I had a
(1 prover)      scratchy throat that made my voice diminish. #11, Day 12

                Crackly still and sounds like my nose is blocked. #11, Day 15
Speech &
Voice; VOICE;
Whispering
(1 prover)

                CHEST

Chest; PAIN;    In the bath I noticed some mild (2) chest pains that lasted for 10-15
Evening         seconds. This happened again after dinner while sitting and lasted
                30-60 seconds. (ROS) This was milder than experienced in the
(1 prover)      past. #1, Day 4

                A few twinges of chest pain while lying in bed this morning.
Heart &         #1, Day 6
Circulation;
PALPITA-        Mild chest pains, left side, in the evening, 8:30 p.m. while lying
TION heart;     down. #1, Day 17
Irregular
                Itchy breasts at work all night. #3, Day 17
(2 provers)
                Heart skipped a beat and feeling short of breath. This was a
Respiration;
                strong and sudden sensation. Heart feels prominent and feeling
SHORT
                very warm. #4, Day 2
(1 prover)
                Having difficulty getting enough air into my lungs and heart is
                racing. Feels like a mini-suffocation. #4, Day 3
Chest;
ITCHING;
                                            90
Mammae
(1 prover)
Chest;
                  Breasts swollen and very tender. #8, Day 16 – 20


                  Aching on the right side of the right breast. This used to come on
                  when angry. #10, Day 1
                  I am very aware of my heart beating, especially when lying down
                  on the left side. The beat feels harder, stronger, not racing. I can
                  almost feel it in my throat. I used to get heart palpitations in
                  meditation. #10, Day 15
Chest; PAIN;      At 12:30 p.m. I am feeling energy shifts all through my body, a
Mammae; right     little more in the chest where I am feeling heat. #12, Day 1
(1 prover)        At 2:00 p.m.: a burning sensation across the whole chest that
                  lasted for a couple of minutes. #12, Day 3
Heart &
Circulation;      Burning in the upper part of the chest shortly after dinner that
HEAT; Heart       lasted 10 – 15 minutes. #12, Day 3
region
(2 provers)
Chest; PAIN;      BACK
Burning
(1 prover)        Aching in the kidney area. #1, Day 10

Kidneys; PAIN     Today at work I was lifting a heavy piece of equipment and
(1 prover)        strained my lower back. It’s quite sore, and I would like to take
                  some Arnica, but I am trying not to. #1, Day 10
Back; PAIN;
Dorsal region;    Very tight in the scapula area on the right side. The right side is
scapulae; right   tight and painful with a bruised sensation. An hour-long massage
(2 provers)       did not relieve. #2, Day 4

Back;             The upper back aches with a cold sensation under the skin from
COLDNESS,         the bra line up between the scapulae. Began on rising and
chilliness;       continued throughout the day. At 2:30 p.m. the cold sensation was
Dorsal region;    gone, but the tightness caused me to want to stretch. By 3:50 p.m.
scapulae          there was a stabbing, shooting pain in the tailbone – lower back
(1 prover)        below the waist with constant pain in the tailbone. This happened
Back;             during a familiar workout session. Hot shower improved and was
STIFFNESS;        much better by 5:00 p.m.. #3, Day 1
Motion; agg.      Stiff and sore, worse for movement. #3, Day 2
(1 prover)        Stiff on waking. #3, Day 3
Back;             Some upper back pain in the afternoon, in the centre and towards
STIFFNESS;        the left on the bra line. Feels like nerve pain. #3, Day 13
Lumbar region
                  Sciatica acting up on the left side. Not intense, but annoying 6:00
(1 prover)
                  p.m. – 10:00 p.m.. #3, Day 15
Extremities;
PAIN; Lower
limbs; nerves;                                 91
sciatic
(1 prover)
                        Stiff lower back this morning, like nerves are irritated. Pain
                        moved up to mid-back from waist to bra line. #3, Day 16
                        Continued sciatica on the lower left side. Better lying down and
                        during sleep. Worse with movement. #3, Day 17


                        Neuralgic pains all over mid back. Would like to apply heat.
                        Sciatica still nagging on the left side. #3, Day 18


                        Neuralgic morning pain that changed to a dull ache during the
                        rest of the day. #3, Day 20
Extremities; PAIN;
Lower limbs;            Stiff, sore back. #4, Day 9
nerves; sciatic; left
(1 prover)
                        Spine in pain all day, intensified with headache. By evening the
Extremities; PAIN;
Lower limbs;
                        entire skeletal system, every bone is aching. The pain is extreme. I
nerves; sciatic; left   feel shattered, fragile, weak, and whiplashed. #4, Day 10
(1 prover)
Generalities; PAIN;     Shivering sensation in the back between the shoulder blades and
Bones                   up to the neck. #7, Day 7
(1 prover)
Head; PAIN; Pain        Lumbar pain from 3:00 p.m. until bedtime. #8, Day 1, 3, 4
in other parts, with;
back (1 prover)
Back; PAIN;             Sore shoulder – trapezius muscles tight and heavy feeling,
Lumbar region,          burdened, like a weight on them, on the right side. This is
lumbago                 familiar, but much worse. #10, Day 1
(1 prover)
Extremities;            Intense pain in the shoulders with heaviness, like I’m carrying
HEAVINESS, tired        someone. This is worse than ever. #10, Day 2
limbs; Upper
limbs; shoulders
(1 prover)              If I stand or hold one position for very long, I feel that my back
                        will give out in the lower left lumbar region. #11, Day 13, Day 14
Back; PAIN;
Lumbar region,
lumbago; left
                        Aching in the lumbar spine for a couple of days. #12, Day 13
(1 prover)
Back; PAIN;
Lumbar region,          Stiffness in the neck and shooting pain from the neck to the
lumbago; standing;      occiput. #12, Day 13
agg.
(1 prover)
Extremities; PAIN;
                                                      92
Lower limbs; feet;
left
                         EXTREMITIES

                         My left foot, just below the ankle on the outside was aching.
                         #12, Day 2



                         At 5:45 p.m. I had sudden, sharp, prickling, burning sensations
Chest; PAIN;             lasting a couple of seconds in both armpits. There were blotches
Burning; axillae         of redness in both armpits. #12, Day 1
(1 prover)
Chest; PAIN;
Stitching; axillae (1    Tingling hands and arms like a fuzzy aura. #1, Day 2
prover)
Chest;
ERUPTIONS; Red;
axillae                  Painful muscle cramps between thumb and pointed finger at 1:30
(1 prover)               p.m. in right hand lasting approx. 10 minutes. #2, Day 7
Extremities;
TINGLING,                Tight muscle cramp in the right inner thigh, similar to cramp in
prickling; Upper         the hand earlier in the proving. Came on mid-morning and
limbs; forearms          finished by 7:00 p.m.. Movement gave some relief. #2, Day 9, 10
(1 prover)
Extremities;
TINGLING,                5:00 p.m. the padding of the ball of the foot near the baby toe of
prickling; Upper         the right foot is painful to walk on, as though there is a rock in my
limbs; hands             shoe. Hurt with each step; lasted about an hour. #3, Day 3
(1 prover)
Extremities;             I woke up during the night with a prickly sensation throughout the
CRAMPS; Upper
limbs; hands
                         whole right side of my body. #5, Day 1

(1 prover)
Extremities;
CRAMPS; Lower            Right knee pain extending to the ankle lasting through the whole
limbs; thighs; right     day. It feels as if I am growing and is worse riding my bicycle. #5,
                         Day 4, Day 5
(1 prover)
Extremities; PAIN;
Lower limbs; feet;
ball; right (1 prover)
Extremities; PAIN;
Lower limbs;
knees; right
Extremities; PAIN;
Lower limbs;
knees; extending;                                   93
ankle, to (1 prover)
Extremities; PAIN;
Burning, smarting
                        After having my computer case on my lap, as I removed it I had a
                        sharp, burning pain in my right thigh as though I had received a
                        sharp blow. It took all my concentration and lasted for about 15
                        minutes. #6, Day 5
Extremities;
SWELLING;
Sensation of; lower
limbs; legs (1          Legs fell swollen and puffy, although they don’t look it. My left hip
prover)                 joint at the top of the femur is uncomfortable. This comes and
Extremities;            goes between 3:00 p.m. and 11:00 p.m.. Walking slowly because
SWELLING;               legs hurt. By the 4th day swollen feeling in legs is now just from
Sensation of; lower     my knees downward. #8, Day 1, 2. 3, 4
limbs; legs; calves
(1 prover)
Extremities; PAIN;
Shooting; lower         Shooting pains in the left calf extending up to the knee. This
limbs; legs; calves     happened around 3:30 p.m., lasting for about 10 minutes. The
(1 prover)              pains came intermittently while walking, causing me to stumble.
Extremities; PAIN;      #8, Day 6
Shooting; lower
limbs; knees (1
prover)
Extremities;            Big toe on the left foot stiff and achy on waking. #9, Day 1
STIFFNESS;
General; lower
limbs; toes; first (1
prover)
Extremities; PAIN;
Stitching; upper        A sensation of pinpoints of stinging pain, coming and going, also
limbs; shoulders;       itchy in these areas, one of which was the left shoulder. #9, Day 3
left
(1 prover)
Extremities;            Gluteal muscles are very tight and sore, like if I’d worked out,
ITCHING; Upper          more on the right side. #10, Day 1
limbs; shoulders
(2 provers)
Extremities; PAIN;
Lower limbs;
buttocks, nates;
right
                        Pain in my left shoulder, in a small spot, like a quarter on the
                        front. Woke up with it and it dissipated in an hour. #10, Day 10
(1 prover)
Extremities;
PARALYSIS;                                         94
Sensation of; lower
limbs; legs (1
prover)
                   Legs felt like they were paralyzed. Took more energy and focus to
                   move them. #11, Day 1



                   My feet and hands got cold while the rest of my body was warm.
                   Couldn’t warm up, even by the campfire. #11, Day 13
Sleep; WAKING;
Midnight; after;   SLEEP
four am
(1 prover)         Woke up at 4:15 a.m. and could not go back to sleep as I was
                   concerned about remembering the dream. #1, Day 2
Sleep;             Awoke unrefreshed; very tired, but had a heavy sleep. #2, Day 2
UNREFRESH-
ING; Morning       Awoke early, but dozed until 8:30 .am.. Once awake good energy
(3 provers)        level. #2, Day 3


Sleep; WAKING;     Heavy sleep. Woke up very late and still couldn’t get out of bed
Early, too         until 10:00 a.m.. Once moving I feel rested, not tired. #2, Day 4

(1 prover)
                   Heavy sleep; awoke very tired. Sleep felt like a blanket. My mind
                   was awake, but my body was so tired and heavy. #2, Day 5, 6, 7
Sleep; WAKING;
Late (1 prover)
                    Heavy, woke up late around 10:00 a.m. but felt more refreshed
                    than other mornings during the proving. I was able to get up
Sleep; HEAVY        right away. #2, Day 8, 9
(2 provers)
                    Heavy; woke up tired but mentally alert. #2, Day 10
Sleep;
DISTURBED;
Thoughts, from      Heavy; I slept late today, until 10:00 a.m. and had a hard time
activity of         getting out of bed from the weight of the sleep. It seems to sit
                    across my chest like a weight. #2, Day 11, Day 12
(1 prover)

                    Sleep disturbed, awoke at 1:00 a.m. and remained awake for
Sleep;              approx. an hour and a half. My mind wouldn’t turn off. All types
SLEEPLESS-          of thoughts came in a barrage of ideas. #2, Day 13
NESS;
Thoughts, from
(1 prover)
                                              95

Sleep; WAKING;
Frequent
                   Despite being very tired, physically and emotionally, I had a
                   hard time getting to sleep; mentally restless. #2, Day 17


                   Woke up twice, once at midnight and again at 5:00 a.m., both
                   times because of alarms going off. I am sleeping in a new house,
                   new bed, with a new cat and I am easily disturbed. I was very
                   tired on waking at 9:00 a.m. and couldn’t get out of bed until
                   10:00 a.m.. I have that heavy, tired feeling in my body and bones.
Sleep;             #2, Day 19
RESTLESS;
Turning left to    Restless and turning from side to side, rather than sleeping on
right all night    my back as usual. #3, Day 2
(1 prover)

                   Interrupted and woke up tired. #4, Day 10
Sleep;
INTERRUPTED
(1 prover)         Woke up a lot during the night and got up earlier than usual.
                   #5, Day 1
Sleep; LIGHT
(3 provers)
                   Restlessness during sleep, woke up several times, but refreshed
Sleep;             on waking. #5, Day 2
RESTLESS
(3 provers)
                   Could not tolerate close body contact while sleeping. I usually
Sleep;             sleep in the arms of my boyfriend, but asked him a few times to
SLEEPINESS;        move over and give me more room. #5, Day 3
Afternoon; agg.;
five pm            Sleep was very deep. #9, Day 1
(1 prover)         A super-heavy, dead sleep, thick and heavy, very nice. This sleep
                   was deeper than normal. Feel fine on waking. #10, Day 1
Sleep;
SLEEPINESS;
Afternoon; agg.;   I fell asleep outside on the patio around 1:00 p.m.. I’ve felt sleepy
two pm             at this time on numerous occasions during the proving.
( 1 prover)        #10, Day 11

Sleep;
SLEEPINESS;
Afternoon; agg.;   Very sleepy at 2:00 p.m. and fell asleep at 2:30 p.m.. Felt that I
one pm             could have slept until morning, but got myself up after about an
( 1 prover)
                                             96

Sleep; WAKING;
Midnight; after;
                  hour or so. Still sleepy at 5:00 p.m.. Feeling blissed out and
                  overly relaxed. #10, Day 12


                  Woke up at 2:00 a.m. rather than between 4:00 and 5:00 a.m..
                  #11, Day 3


Generalities;
HEAT;             Unrefreshed; could have crawled back into bed after 7 hours of
Sensation of;     sleep. #12, Day 7
restlessness,
with
(1 prover)       FEVER/HEAT

                 3:45 a.m.: hot and restless. Tossed and turned before being able to
Extremities;     go back to sleep. Too hot with down duvet and too cold without it.
DRYNESS;         #12, Day 3
General;
hands; palms
( 1 prover)      SKIN

                  Hands seem to be very dry, especially on the right palm. This is
Skin; SOFT        an old symptom for me. Dry and parched looking. #2, Day 19
feeling
(1 prover)
                  The palm of my right hand is dry – white flakes coming off and
                  definite lines of dryness. #2, Day 20, 21
Back;
ITCHING;
Dorsal region;    At one point in the night I became that my skin was amazingly
scapulae;         soft. I was running my hands all over my body. It was soft, like a
between           baby. #9, Day 3
(1 prover)
                  Itchy, especially in one spot between the shoulder blades.
Extremities;      Scratching feels delicious. #9, Day 4
ITCHING;
Upper limbs;
forearms; left    I awoke with an intense return of an old symptom: the skin
                  surface is intensely itchy on my left forearm. I cannot stop
( 1 prover)       scratching until the skin breaks and begins to bleed. Warm
                  water helps. This continues on and off throughout the day. #9,
                  Day 4
Skin;
DRYNESS
(2 provers)
                                            97
                   Skin seems drier today. #12, Day 6




Generalities;      GENERALITIES
VIBRATING
sensation          Lying in bed after taking the remedy, the entire body began to
(4 provers)        feel electrified, humming, buzzing, like electricity running and
                   pulsing throughout the entire body from the centre outwards to
Generalities;       the extremities. Electric energy seemed to intensity and build in
VIBRATING          the extremities, the ends of the toes and fingers, then moving
sensation;         back to the centre where it diminished in intensity. The intensity
Energy             of moving energy is most noticeable up the left leg, outside of
throughout his     the left calf, below the left knee. Hands feel excited. This first
body                came on as a huge rush and then afterwards in rhythmic waves
(4 provers)        lasting for what seemed like a few minutes. The slowed to a
                   resting point, then built up again like the contractions of labour
Generalities;
                   in childbirth. I dozed off between each wave, then, as the next
SLUGGISH-
                    wave built it would wake me, electrifying my brain and mind.
NESS of body
                   This seemed to go on for an hour or two. I had the feeling of
(1 prover)
                   being stuck in the bed, lying down, not able to get up if I really
Generalities;       wanted to. Then I fell asleep. #9, Day 2
TINGLING,
prickling;         On wakening, I felt a faint feeling of the
Internal           energy, then it faded away. #9, Day 3
(1 prover)         I’m feeling like something’s shifting, like energy that’s
Generalities;      happening within. Maybe it’s giving me more energy? There’s a
HEAT;              little bit of an undercurrent happening, like a really low
Sensation of;      vibration sensation; like simmering molten lava. I feel it all
night              through my body, maybe a little more in the chest. I became
                   aware of this between 10: a.m. and 12:30 p.m.. #12, Day 1
(1 prover)
Generalities;      12-noon feeling very strange, as if stoned; physically a little
WOUNDS; Cuts       buzzy, tingly, very inward and hyper-aware. #1, Day 1
(1 prover)         Slow pace; felt as if moving in slow motion. #1, Day 1
Generalities;
INJURIES,          Exhausted walking home from work; lethargic, slow; easily
blows, falls and   distracted. #1, Day 1
bruises;
Dislocation,       Tired, lethargic, slow moving by the end of the day. Want to lie
subluxation        down. #1, Day 2

(1 prover)
Generalities;
ENERGY, lots                                 98
of (3 provers)
                     More grounded, a little less spacey than yesterday, and no
                     longer lost in thought. However, still have the tingly, fuzzy
                     sensation especially in the upper body ie head, face, hands,
                     arms, upper chest and upper back. Also aware of rushes or
                     surges of energy in these areas (head, upper back and upper
                     chest) like shivers running through. #1, Day 3
Generalities;
HEAVINESS;           1:00 – 2:00 a.m. feeling much heat. Body temperature much
External             hotter than normal. I opened the window, but still feeling very
                     warm. #2, Day 3
(1 prover)
Generalities;       Tired; bones feel tired and heavy. #2, Day 5, 7, 12
TENSION,
                    Yawning a lot and a general feeling of fatigue. #2, Day 14
tightness;
Internal
(1 prover)          10:00 a.m. cut my left pointer finger, blood spurting, soaking
                    through two Band-Aids. #2, Day 15
Generalities;
RESTLESSNESS,
physical            1:00 p.m. slipped on a greasy floor at work, knocked my right
(1 prover)          shoulder badly, instant feeling of bruising. Took Arnica 200CH.
Generalities;       #2, Day 15
FOOD and
drinks; Raw food;
desires             Good energy. Worked 11 hours without a break. End of the day
                    only a little tired. #2, Day 15
(1 prover)
                    Tired; bones feel heavy, like a weight on my shoulders. #2, Day 17
Generalities;
FOOD and
drinks;             I am holding myself very tight and rigid and my body feels
Vegetables;         agitated. It’s like there’s something irritating my blood vessels
desires             and I can feel it course through my veins. #2, Day 19
(1 prover)
Generalities;
FOOD and            Good energy overall, but has a nervous quality to it. Despite being
drinks; Chicken;    up since 4:00 a.m., still not sleepy at 11:00 p.m.. Thinking of the
desires             cat and the house. Not as anxious as this morning. #2, Day 20
(1 prover)          Craving raw, fibrous foods. #1, Day 7
Generalities;
FOOD and            Craving chicken (she is a vegetarian). #1, Day 15
drinks; Fish;
                    Craving smoked salmon. #2, Day 17
desires; smoked
(1 prover)          Exhausted and feeling overworked trying to keep up with it all.
                    #3, Day 12
Generalities;
WEAKNESS;
Daytime                                        99
(2 provers)
                    Toured Nahobi Gardens. #4, Day 7

                    Low energy, tired and sleepy. #4, Day 11

                    Skeletal structure feels a bit fragile. #4, Day 14

Generalities;       Energy in super, high gear! #4, Day 18
FOOD and
drinks; Alcohol,    Talked with a friend who just shook hands with the Dalia Lama.
alcoholic drinks;   #4, Day 20
agg.
                     Reacted unusually to beer, feeling drunk and getting a headache
(1 prover)           after half a glass. #5, Day 5


Generalities;        No craving for sweets – very unusual. #5, Day 14, Day 16, Day 17
FOOD and
drinks; Sweets;
aversion             Craving fruit intensely. #6, Day 5
(1 prover)
                     At 10:00 a.m. I started to feel uneasiness, muscles a little achy
                     and a heaviness in the body, as though I’m coming down with
Generalities;
                     something. #7, Day 7
FOOD and
drinks; Fruit;
desires              There was an overall feeling of blood expanding, even bursting
(1 prover)           in my body. My legs felt heavy and swollen and arms felt like the
                     blood was heavy with pressure building throughout my body.
                     More tired than usual after work with a heavy, swollen feeling.
Generalities;        #8, Day 1
HEAVINESS;
Internal
                     Tired and sluggish. Daughter said, “Oh, my God, what’s wrong
(1 prover)
                     with you? Are you sick?”#8, Day 2
                     My daughter received a bottle of bright green camphor-mint
Generalities;        liquid from Taiwan and was reading about what it can be used
SWELLING;            for. I didn’t want to get too close to it after just taking the
Sensation of;        remedy. My granddaughter wanted me to take it, repeating,
internal             “Grandma needs it, Grandma needs it!” She had quite a tantrum
(1 prover)           about it and did not want to come to me. This was unusual
                     behavior for her. #8, Day 2
                     Very energetic on all levels. #9, Day 5
Generalities;
WEARINESS            Eating lots of soup. #10, Day 4

( 5 provers)         Had soup for breakfast. #10, Day 5
                     Craving soup. #10, Day 11

Generalities;
FOOD and                                       100
drinks; Soup;
desires
                  Had soup for lunch and dinner. #10, Day 12
                  Had soup for lunch. I’ve had soup every day and wouldn’t have
                  noticed had my husband not mentioned it. #10, Day 14
                  Going to bed very early. So tired and too sleepy to read.
                  #10, Day 4
Generalities;     My husband commented that I must have been feeling warmer. I
HEAT;             turned the furnace off a few days ago. He said it was freezing in
Sensation of      the house, and he’s usually the warm-blooded one. After this I
                  realized that I’ve been wearing my tank top for the past few
( 1 prover)       days. #10, Day 5

Generalities;     I went to bed early again, at 7:45 p.m.. So tired. Fell asleep right
FOOD and          away. #10, Day 5
drinks; Fat and
rich food;
aversion          My feeling is that my old symptoms are starting to appear more
(1 prover)        strongly now that my cough is going away. I had a hard time
                  getting out of bed because it was so nice and warm. During the
                  day I was a bit tired and sensitive to people’s energy. #11, Day
Generalities;     15
FOOD and          Dragging and tired; no energy. Took three hits of the snooze
drinks;           button on the alarm clock to get out of bed. #12, Day 3
Grapefruit,
desires
(1 prover)        My energy was okay until a bout 2:00 p.m. when I felt really
                  tired. Finally succumbed around 3:45 p.m. and slept very deeply
                  for about 30 minutes. I was grateful that I had set my alarm to
Generalities;     go pick up my daughter. #12, Day 4
AIR; Open;
desires
                  I was really tired around noon. Sitting in a discussion, my eyes
(1 prover)        were so heavy, I wanted to close them. I was concerned about
                  staying awake and being aware enough with a new patient later
                  in the afternoon. #12, Day 5


                  Went to a little café and was turned off by their greasy options.
                  #12, Day 6


                  Craving pink grapefruit all day like I did when I was pregnant.
                  #12, Day 6




                                            101
             My sweet tooth has been gone until today. #12, Day 7


             Needed to be outside today. Spent the entire day transplanting
             my indoor plants. Could hardly walk at the end of the day for all
             the bending and leaning. #12, Day 14


PROVER NUMBER ONE

DAY ONE

DREAMS

A very disjointed and unrelated sequence of events: 1) A large place and a
group of people. Everyone has their specialty. Mine is the piano. 2) An
exam. A group of people and we all have been given an
introduction/information. We have to demonstrate our knowledge now. All
of us have to do this together or the process will be abandoned. I ask,
“What exactly do you want us to comment on? How do you want us to
present?” 3) There are two men looking for a mole on my head as “the way
in,” i.e. the surgical entry point. “ They say, “everyone has a way in,” but
they don’t find it and let me go. 4) A familiar health food shop with a very
abundant and compelling display of healthy snack foods, which I am drawn
to. They are building all this through buying trips to the city. I am feeling
that maybe I could have done this for them as a way of getting to the city.
#1, Day 1

GENERAL
12-noon feeling very strange, as if stoned. Physically a little buzzy, tingly,
very inward and hyper-aware. Slow pace; felt as if moving in slow motion.
#1, Day 1
Exhausted walking home from work; lethargic, slow; easily distracted #1, Day 1


DAY TWO

DREAMS

1) I have come home and been alone in the house for a couple of hours.
Someone else comes home and I find out that I haven’t been alone. A man
was hiding in the bathroom the whole time. I felt shocked at the realization
of the profound danger of the situation. 2) There is a group of us and a sense
of danger, a need to escape. We are considered to be criminals but there is a
sense of unjust persecution. We work together to gather all that we need and
to cover our tracks. We express gratitude for each other’s help and

                                       102
contribution as we complete this stage. Then there is panic. An Irish man
realizes that his videotape is missing, meaning that evidence is left behind.
We can’t go back for it because it’s too dangerous. There is the sense in the
group that this is a fatal mistake and people are angry because this
jeopardizes everything. This changes our plans and we have to be more
careful. We go over land instead of via airports. We are then traveling in
horses and covered carts in beige camouflage. We stop somewhere; hike a
border crossing, with a market where we pick up bread and potatoes. We
have plats of food and we are going back to our caravan. We see shadows
around the corner of the hallway and feel extreme danger. A man points to
another, safer way. We are then in a courtyard where there are lots of
uniforms and men being shot. We start to realize that maybe they’re not
looking for us specifically. The feelings in this dream are danger,
persecution and fear with no sense of guilt. #1, Day 2

SLEEP
Woke up at 4:15 a.m. and could not go back to sleep as I was concerned
about remembering the dream. #1, Day 2


Feeling spacey, ungrounded through the day. Difficulty staying focused after
poor night’s sleep. #1, Day 2


MIND

Walking home from work had the “spacey” almost “high” feeling. Easily
startled or rattled by noise. #1, Day 2


HEAD

Tingling like a fuzzy aura. #1, Day 2


FACE

Tingling like a fuzzy aura. #1, Day 2

EXTREMITIES

Tingling hands and arms like a fuzzy aura. #1, Day 2




                                        103
GENERAL

Tired, lethargic, slow moving by the end of the day. Want to lie down. #1,
Day 2


MIND

Startled easily from noises or sudden movements close by. #1, Day 2




Easily distracted, lost in thought. Arrive home feeling unaware of most of the
blocks I walked. #1, Day 2


DAY THREE

DREAMS

A career fair with thousands of people, a surprising turnout. The booths,
however, are not career-related at all. They are food vendors giving out
samples of their products. I feels like a very successful event, one for which I
played a role in organizing. I hear a report that the ticket sales have brought
in $250,000. I am shocked at this success. Then I feel it is unfair because the
already wealthy building owners get the money while the struggling vendors
are giving away thousands of dollars worth of product. #1, Day 3


GENERAL

More grounded, a little less spacey that yesterday, and no longer lost in
thought. However, still have the tingly, fuzzy sensation especially in the
upper body ie head, face, hands, arms, upper chest and upper back. Also
aware of rushes or surges of energy in these areas (head, upper back and
upper chest) like shivers running through. #1, Day 3


DAY FOUR

DREAMS

I am in a large, old, spacious house a live and work space. Shawn and I are
both there and we are newcomers. An old, dirty street person comes in,
walks through the space and into the bathroom. I feel upset by this and ask,

                                      104
“Is this the public toilet, too?” Someone answers, “yes, it is.” I feel enraged
to have to share our facilities with the public. The street person comes out of
the bathroom and introduces himself to the group as Dr.____, and says that
he is there to use our facilities and to relieve us of our pocket change. Others
give him some coins, but I refuse to give him any. The feelings in this dream
are rage and indignation.         #1, Day 4


GENERAL

The upper body tingliness is still perceptible if I stop and “tune in” to my
body. I am feeling more and more “myself” and therefore less aware of this.
#1, Day 4


CHEST

In the bath I noticed some mild (2) chest pains that lasted for 10-15 seconds.
This happened again after dinner while sitting and lasted 30-60 seconds.
(ROS) This was milder than experienced in the past. #1, Day 4


DAY FIVE

DREAMS

I was in a foreign country. A young woman in her teens is courted by a man
in his 30’s. He spoils her, buys her things and begins to call her his wife. He
turns to her in the marketplace to introduce her to someone, to find that she
has disappeared. He searches for her and finds her hiding from him in
something like a closet. She is afraid of what is coming next in their
relationship, of him claming sexual rights. He finds her and she expresses
this to him. He validates her fears by affirming that this is the next step. He
begins to force himself on her. The feeling in the dream is sympathy, though
I feel more a spectator than a participant. He seems like a nice man, so my
fears wouldn’t be related to him particularly, but rather to the fear of sex for
the first time. #1, Day 5


DAY SIX

DREAMS

Huge, very tall working trucks with large, grotesquely figured men on them.
#1, Day 6


                                       105
MIND

Very irritable. Body is moving into its constipated phase of my cycle. There
is usually increased irritability with this, part of my normal symptoms
picture. However, it seems to be a little earlier than usual. It usually
happens post-ovulation into the menses; I am still in pre-ovulation. #1, Day
6


CHEST

A few twinges of chest pain while lying in bed this morning. #1, Day 6


DAY SEVEN

DREAMS

A shop/business where all of the employees were animals. They could talk
and were trained to do reception and customer service. When I discovered
this, I was delighted by it. Someone else pointed out the inappropriateness
of it and the exploitation factor. The animals declared that they loved it, that
it was one of the better jobs around. All they had to do was delight the
customers and keep them coming back. They admitted that they weren’t
getting paid. This I found upsetting. #1, Day 7


MIND

Irritable; frustrated. #1, Day 7


RECTUM

Constipation (OS - feeling constipated and pissed off about it. Want t force
my body into a different state by raw and/or stimulating foods ie caffeine,
wine, spicy foods, stimulating herbs, which I take daily and increase during
these exacerbated states, exercise also helps. #1, Day 7


ABDOMEN

Sense of fullness worse with restriction of clothing. #1, Day 7


                                       106
FOOD

Craving raw, fibrous foods. #1, Day 7


STOMACH

Appetite reduced. #1, Day 7


DAY EIGHT

DREAMS

No recall. #1, Day 8

GENERAL

Body responded to “management efforts” of the weekend, so feeling much
more relaxed. #1, Day 8



DAY NINE

DREAMS

I am at a place where three different bodywork therapists are offering
demonstrations (mini-sessions). One of them I know. I am given a mini-
treatment by all three, though one puts a lot more time and effort into it. Her
therapy is more about voice and sound effects. She is massaging my
shoulders but telling a story at the same time. I feel as though her voice is
“massaging” my nervous system ie I “feel” the vibrational effects. I feel I
need to book an appointment with this person but feel a conflict/dilemma
around booking with her and not with my friend.          #1, Day 9


MIND

Feeling good today - emotionally balanced and content with life. #1, Day
9




                                        107
DAY TEN

DREAMS

(This dream in inspired by a novel I’ve just finished reading.) I am on the
edge of an open grave that is 16 feet deep. It’s my family grave and my
grandmother’s coffin is in it. It’s depth is to accommodate other family
members when the time comes. I am on the edge, then somehow leaning
over/in. I don’t know what I am holding onto, but it seems as though I am
about to fall in. The feeling is fear and inevitability. I awoke from this dream
at 3:00 a.m. and didn’t get back to sleep, so very tired today. Thinking about
the dream led to thinking about many things, which kept me awake. #1, Day
9


KIDNEY

Aching in the kidney area, both sides. #1, Day 9


BACK

Today at work I was lifting a heavy piece of equipment and strained my
lower back. It’s quite sore, and I would like to take some Arnica, but am
trying not to. #1, Day 9




DAY THIRTEEN

DREAMS

I am at work and supposed to go pick up my mother. I have managed to get
off early, but when the time comes I can’t find my keys and keep going
around in circles. It’s getting later and later until I’m already an hour late and
I still haven’t managed to get away. The feeling is very anxious. #1, Day 13




DAY FOURTEEN

DREAMS

I am at work, though not a familiar workplace and everyone is sitting around
a long table. Some of the people at the other end of the table from me appear


                                       108
to be in a meeting, while those of us at the other end are socializing a little. I
start to realize that I’m supposed to be at the meeting. When it ends someone
from the meeting makes an issue of the fact that I missed it. I feel badly, but
after awhile I start to question why they waited until the end of the meeting
when I’d been at work all along and they could have simply reminded me and
I could have participated. This became the main feeling: my anger rising up
because “it wasn’t right,” something felt underhanded; indirect. #1, Day 14


DAY FIFTEEN

FOOD

Craving chicken (she is a vegetarian). #1, Day 15


DAY SEVENTEEN

DREAMS

Water theme: a body of water with people swimming; I am swimming at one
point; we have a large property and water starts bubbling up through the
ground. The feeling is concern that we won’t be able to sell until this problem
is resolved. Since we can’t live their either, I don’t know how we’ll pay the
mortgage. #1, Day 17


CHEST

Mild chest pains, left side, in the evening, 8:30 p.m. while lying down. #1, Day
17


DAY EIGHTEEN

DREAMS


A “big” theme. Traveling in a truck with an odd man who has hundreds of
birds. We pick up a woman with a dog who is hitchhiking. They decide to
travel in the back, camperized area of the vehicle. We stop for the night
somewhere. When the lights go off (we’re in a very big room with lots of
people) the birds all fly into the room. I’m concerned about where to put my
clothes so they won’t get pooped on by the birds. #1, Day 18




                                       109
EXIT NOTES

Irritability – no reason for it – woke up on wrong side of the bed. Mad at the
world. Constipated, pissed off. Craving sugar. And meat. I’m vegetarian.
Dream animals talking. Shop staffed by animals, I was conversing with
them. I had been reading a book and dream came right out of the book.
Grave 16 feet deep to accommodate rest of family members and I was falling
into it. Irritable dreams waking me up because training myself to remember
them.



PROVER NUMBER TWO
DAY ONE


DREAMS
Tibetan monk meditating on a cliff under an icefall, creating so much heat
that he turns red and rises, melting the ice, then falls back to the earth.
Tibetan field with horses and a gathering. I am a monk or a nun. #2, Day 1


RECTUM
Constipated. #2, Day 1


BLADDER
Desire to pee, but little comes out. #2, Day 1



MOUTH
Canker sores in mouth on the right side, close to the lip. #2, Day 1


MIND
Extremely emotional. Polar day: very good mood during the day at class. At
home afterwards, scared, teary, repeatedly saying, “fuck!” Not dealing well
with adversity. Want to be alone. Hug from roommate bothered me. Feeling
really unsupported, but still want to be alone. #2, Day 1




                                      110
DAY TWO
DREAMS
Dreams seemed short. I was at a homeopathic conference in New Zealand
and had no money while there. Conversations with my parents were vivid,
seemed almost real. This dream was set in the future. There was
overwhelming fear and anxiety about money. #2, Day 2


MIND
Calmer than last night. #2, Day 2


SLEEP
Awoke unrefreshed; very tired, but had a heavy sleep. #2, Day 2


MOUTH
I have a small pimple on the front left past of the tongue. It’s not sore. Canker
sore on the right side of the mouth is not as sore/sensitive as it was yesterday.
It is red and inflamed, but not swollen, while the canker itself is white.
The pimple was gone by evening. #2, Day 2


THROAT
Icy sensation at the back of the throat almost constant, but not very intense.
Can feel this on deep inhalations/exhalations. #2, Day 2


VERTIGO
Slightly dizzy in the morning while moving head, lasting 3 to 5 seconds. Head
feels light and feeling a little confused. #2, Day 2


MIND
I am wondering how I’m going to support myself, not in the money way, but
emotionally. I am so used to living with someone else. I am wondering who I
am. I feel like I don’t know myself anymore. I am thinking about sex more
than normal. #2, Day 2


HEARING
Very acute; hearing every buzz, every little noise. Hearing is heightened.
#2, Day 2


                                      111
STOMACH
Not much appetite; just not thinking about food. No cravings or aversions.
#2, Day 2
DAY THREE
DREAMS
I awoke suddenly from a dream at 1:00 a.m.. At the end of the dream (can’t
recall the whole dream) roots of a tree were showing and started moving like
a snake. It was bright green, smooth and covered with small raised circles. I
was very scared in the dream, but forgot immediately why I woke up.
#2, Day 3
I entered a large, poverty-stricken apartment complex that was once very
grand. A past boyfriend had found us a large, cheap apartment. I was not
happy with the idea. On entering the apartment, I found my granddad
waiting for us. He then showed me from out apartment a door that lead to a
very large ballroom with extremely high ceiling, ornate windows and
balconies. It was very dark, soon started hearing a clicking noise with no
reason for it, and saw white light moving. I inferred that ghosts were present.
I awoke with a sensation of being drowned in fears. #2, Day 3


STOMACH
At 1:00 a.m. I have a sharp pain in the lower abdomen, just above the navel.
The pains last for approx. 20 seconds, then stop for 2 or 3 seconds. This
continued for 3 to 5 minutes. Not hungry on waking. #2, Day 3


MIND
At 1:00 a.m. I have the sensation of being drowned in fears. I felt my lungs fill
and felt surrounded by fears. It was a liquid sensation.
Many sexual thoughts during the day. #2, Day 3


GENERAL
1:00 – 2:00 a.m. feeling much heat. Body temperature much hotter than
normal. I opened the window, but still feeling very warm. #2, Day 3


MOUTH
I have a small pimple on the left lower tip of my tongue. It’s not painful. The
canker sores are getting smaller, not painful. Midnight pimple sensitive.
#2, Day 3


                                       112
SLEEP
Awoke early, but dozed until 8:30 .am.. Once awake good energy level.
#2, Day 3
ABDOMEN
Dull ache on standing in the centre of the pelvis. Worse lying down, becomes
sharp, knife-like. This lasted 30 minutes around midnight, radiating into the
genitals. #2, Day 3


HEARING
Heightened hearing. Small background noises seem to be very present.
#2, Day 3


DAY FOUR
DREAMS
I know I had a few dreams, but I cannot remember them,. This is unusual for
me. #2, Day 4


SLEEP
Heavy sleep. Woke up very late and still couldn’t get out of bed until 10:00
a.m.. Once moving I feel rested, not tired. #2, Day 4


MIND
Not motivated and everything distracts me, but I am not bothered by this.
Normally I would get angry with myself. In the morning, many sexual
thoughts. Late afternoon between 4:30 and 5:00 p.m., frustrated because of
inability to focus, due to too many sexual thoughts. #2, Day 4


MOUTH
Small pimple is diminishing with no pain. Canker sore is gone. #2, Day 4


BACK
Very tight in the scapula area on the right side. The right side is tight and
painful with a bruised sensation. An hour-long massage did not relieve.
#2, Day 4


                                       113
STOMACH
Hunger has returned today. #2, Day 4



DAY FIVE
DREAMS
I know that I dreamt, but cannot remember. #2, Day 5


SLEEP
Heavy sleep; awoke very tired. Sleep felt like a blanket. My mind was awake,
but my body was so tired and heavy. #2, Day 5


MOUTH
Canker sore is gone, but there is a sore/raw sensation when eating. #2, Day 5


FEMALE
Milky leucorrhea. #2, Day 5


GENERAL
Tired; bones feel tired and heavy. #2, Day 5


DAY SIX
DREAMS
I was driving in a truck with two other people and two dogs. We tried to ford
a wide, rushing creek. I know that we have done it before, but this time the
water is too deep and too strong. The truck comes to a stop and the water
starts rushing in. Since we can’t move forward, we reverse out of the creek.
The feeling is being constricted; I can’t go where I think I need to go, or
accomplish what I think I need to do. #2, Day 6


I am in a class, but I cannot concentrate. My attention is moving all over the
place. The two dogs that were in the previous dream reappear. The feeling is
being constricted; I can’t go where I think I need to go, or accomplish what I
think I need to do. #2, Day 6


                                     114
MIND
I am teary in the morning; very sad but not able to really weep. A walk at the
beach relieves, and I weep. I feel better afterwards. All day I am close to
tears, but don’t cry again. I feel constricted and raw. I feel like I don’t have
any support or guidance for emotional or spiritual matters. #2, Day 6


SLEEP
I woke up tired from a heavy sleep. #2, Day 6


MOUTH
Slightly sore/raw sensation in the night by the upper lip, where the canker
sore was, when eating. #2, Day 6


FEMALE
Milky leucorrhea. #2, Day 6


DAY SEVEN
SLEEP
Heavy, tired on waking. Difficult to get out of bed. #2, Day 7


MIND
Feeling constricted; cannot move mentally. #2, Day 7


EXTREMITIES
Painful muscle cramps between thumb and pointed finger at 1:30 p.m. in
right hand lasting approx. 10 minutes. #2, Day 7


GENERAL
Tired, heavy sensation. Bones feel tired. #2, Day 7


FEMALE
Milky leucorrhea. #2, Day 7




                                      115
DAY EIGHT
DREAMS
The mother of my ex-partner came to visit. I couldn’t understand that she
wasn’t going to treat me in the same manner as before. I had to be blocked
from entering his house. I felt held back, restricted, and rejected. #2, Day 8


At a club I noticed some strange things happening around me. Some of the
other people weren’t really human. They had human form and evil intent.
#2, Day 8
I was going to be caring for someone’s house while they were away. They
showed me to the room in which I would be sleeping. It was much different
from the rest of the house. The room was decorated by some psycho
grandma: there were teddy bears hanging from the rafters; tea parties of
dolls covered in blood, etc. I knew that something bad was going to happen to
me either then or if I took the job. I felt like they might hold me prisoner.
#2, Day 8


SLEEP
Heavy, woke up late around 10:00 a.m. but felt more refreshed than other
mornings during the proving. I was able to get up right away. #2, Day 8


GENERAL
Good energy all day. #2, Day 8


FEMALE
Milky leucorrhea. #2, Day 8


DAY NINE
DREAMS
I dreamt of a female Dalai Lama talking about the energy of homeopathic
remedies. #2, Day 9


I dreamt of a ghetto that was in lockdown. It was very mixed ethnically, but
they were expelling Jews. After people were returning to their homes they
were almost jovial, glad it wasn’t them. #2, Day 9


SLEEP


                                      116
Heavy; awoke early but couldn’t get up; like sleep was sitting across my
chest. #2, Day 9


ABDOMEN
Lower right abdominal pain with bearing down sensation. Tender to touch
and feels a little swollen. Pain extending down the right leg to the mid thigh.
Warmth from the shower made it better. Morning onset; finished in the
afternoon. #2, Day 9


EXTREMITIES
Tight muscle cramp in the right inner thigh, similar to cramp in the hand
earlier in the proving. Came on mid-morning and finished by 7:00 p.m..
Movement gave some relief. #2, Day 9


MIND
Feeling balanced and focused. #2, Day 9


MOUTH
New canker sore developing on right lower lip; the previous one on right
upper lip is gone. The new one is raw and rough, sensitive to the touch; not
painful. #2, Day 9


DAY TEN
DREAMS
Dream of a party with ex-partner and his cousin and my sister. Mother shows
up and we yell at her, “time to deal with your emotional issues.” She tried to
verbally attack us. #2, Day 10


I am working as a nanny for a rich man who has one child. After putting the
child down for a nap, I fall asleep, too. The man wakes me up in a rage,
accusing me of something I didn’t do. He corners me and verbally attacks
me. #2, Day 10


SLEEP
Heavy; woke up tired but mentally alert. #2, Day 10


EXTREMITIES

                                      117
Muscle cramp in upper right inner thigh, better with movement. It came on
in the morning and was gone by evening. #2, Day 10



MOUTH
Canker sore on lower right lip inside the mouth feels sore and raw and is
sensitive to touch. It’s not bothered by warm or cold drinks and not painful.
#2, Day 10


DAY ELEVEN
SLEEP
Heavy; I slept late today, until 10:00 a.m. and had a hard time getting out of
bed from the weight of the sleep. It seems to sit across my chest like a weight.
#2, Day 11


MOUTH
Lower right inside of the mouth – two canker sores join into one large one. It
has become painful, raw and sore; sensitive now to temperature and touch.
#2, Day 11


MIND
I have noticed in the last 2 or 3 days that I have been easily offended,
especially with clients at work. The slightest offhand comment, especially
about service, I take very personally. It takes a few minutes to lift. #2, Day 11


DAY TWELVE
DREAMS
Living in a monastery or retreat. Went to leave and could not. Felt trapped.
#2, Day 12


SLEEP
Tired on waking; heavy sleep; feels like a weight sitting on my chest.
#2, Day 12


GENERAL
Tired all day, especially in the evening. Worse after drinking cider at work.

                                       118
Bones feel tired. #2, Day 12


EYES
My eyes are burning and dry with fatigue. #2, Day 12


MIND
I am mentally fatigued and having a very difficult time studying or focusing
on anything.
I am easily frustrated with other people, especially strangers. #2, Day 12


MOUTH
Canker sore on lower right inside of the lip that is sore/raw/sensitive to touch
and temperature. Pain is worse eating. #2, Day 12


RECTUM
Constipated all day. #2, Day 12


EAR
Sharp pain for 2 to 3 minutes in the right ear. This happened in the right ear
at 5:00 p.m. and in the left ear at 9:00 p.m.. The sensation is like the ear is
being pulled up into the head. #2, Day 12


HEARING
There is a ringing sound in the ear for a short period, 2 or 3 seconds before
the hearing seems to become very sharp, as though I could hear a pin drop in
a room. #2, Day 12


DAY THIRTEEN
SLEEP
Sleep disturbed, awoke at 1:00 a.m. and remained awake for approx. an hour
and a half. My mind wouldn’t turn off. All types of thoughts came in a barrage
of ideas. #2, Day 13


MIND
Easy frustration, annoyed by my tables at work. Even normal requests
irritated me and it would take me a few minutes to recover. Offended easily.

                                      119
#2, Day 13


MOUTH
Canker sores on the lower right inside lip. Sore, raw, slightly sunken;
sensitive to cold and hot and any touch. #2, Day 13


GENERAL
Yawning a lot and a general feeling of fatigue.
10:00 a.m. cut my left pointer finger, blood spurting, soaking through two
Band-Aids.
1:00 p.m. slipped on a greasy floor at work, knocked my right shoulder badly,
instant feeling of bruising. #2, Day 13


EYES
Tired, dry, burning eyes. #2, Day 13


DAY FOURTEEN
DREAMS
I dreamt of a moveable building, which contains a “grow-op.” There are four
people including myself who are working on it. At one point we are invaded
by a single person. As we try to escape I can’t find the way out or any of the
things that I need to take with me. The walls seem to shrink and the room
gets smaller. Everyone is yelling at me to hurry up but I can’t. I am trapped.
The person who is invading is there to take the pot and take over. It turns out
that he’s good and we join him in future invasions. #2, Day 14


MIND
Broke twelve glasses at work today – knocking them over, they slipped out of
my hand, dropped off my tray. #2, Day 14


SLEEP
Heavy; woke up tired with sleep sitting across my chest. Once awake, my
mind is sharp, but I still feel physically tired. #2, Day 14


MOUTH
The lower right side inside the lip still has a canker sore that is raw, painful


                                       120
and sensitive to temperature and touch. It feels like it is sunken into the flesh
and is white. #2, Day 14



FOOD
Craving salmon. #2, Day 14


GENERAL
Broke a lot of glasses at work tonight. I knocked them over or they slipped
out of my hand or dropped off of my tray. #2, Day 14


DAY FIFTEEN
SLEEP
Heavy but short. Went to bed at 2:30 a.m. because of work and work up at
9:00 a.m. because of work. Not feeling groggy or that sense of sleep sitting on
my chest, but tired. #2, Day 15


FEMALE
Period started today; very light and no pain. #2, Day 15


GENERAL
Good energy. Worked 11 hours without a break. End of the day only a little
tired. #2, Day 15


MIND
Sad while seeing ex-partner. Wanted to be held by him but held myself back.
I am being selfish asking him for comfort when I left him. I cried on the way
home from work and from dropping him off at home. #2, Day 15


DAY SIXTEEN
DREAMS
This was a dream within a dream: my ex-partner had left on an adventure
years before as a child. (Images of wild, mythic places and people.) Years
later with the help of some holy person, he is found, but he is about to take
the vows of another religion. He does not know that by birth he is the king of
the Jews. While taking the vows, he realizes something is wrong with the


                                       121
vows and makes a speech to the tribe members about it. It seems as if the
dream was set many hundreds of years ago – in Jacob and Leah’s time. I
think I was the holy person able to do magic and cast slepps to that my ex-
partner would realize the wrong before he takes the vows. Something above
is making a dragonfly out of a piece of my robe. There is something about a
blue robe in this dream. #2, Day 16
SLEEP
A good sleep, though woke up once with menstrual cramps for which I took
600 mg. of Ibuprofen. The pain was severe, as is usual for me, with a bearing
down sensation, as if my uterus would fall out. There was much gas with it as
well. In the morning I woke up refreshed and awake with residual pain, the
same sensation, but much reduced. This pattern with menstrual symptoms is
normal for me. Heavy flow with bright red clots. #2, Day 16


MIND
I really wanted to leave the island today, but couldn’t decide where I wanted
to go. I stayed and helped a friend put up a fence. I had a big cry at 8:00 p.m.
over my ex-partner. I felt empty, so sad and lonely, totally alone. #2, Day 16


EARS
Sharp, knife-like pain with a pulling inward sensation in the right ear
accompanied by a ringing sound for 2 or 3 seconds. After this the hearing is
very sharp for 2 or 3 minutes. #2, Day 16


MOUTH
Canker sore on the lower right inside lip; sensitive to temperature and touch
but getting better. #2, Day 16


DAY SEVENTEEN
DREAMS
Flying over the Vancouver harbour and seeing beautiful Orcas, approx. 10,
breeching and playing. After leaving the float plane I needed to get
somewhere but couldn’t find my way. I got very frustrated and angry. My ex-
partner was there. #2, Day 17


Exploring a rural area close to a beach and found many wonderful seashells –
black and bright blue. I wanted to return from where I had come, but couldn’t
find my way. This frightened me. #2, Day 17



                                       122
MIND
Cried on the phone to my supervisor, feeling really stupid for taking Arnica,
like I’m a stupid child and I have wasted the adults time with my lack of
thought about consequence. I talked about crying about my ex-partner and
my worry that maybe I shouldn’t have taken part in the proving. I am slow to
react emotionally and now I am reacting while I’m supposed to be proving.
Many self-doubts today. I keep thinking that I want to go home. I cried on the
phone with my sister, talked much about my ex-partner and I, and felt better
at the end of our talk. I made steps in closeness with my sister. #2, Day 17


FEMALE
Some pain, like a dull, nagging pain in the centre of my lower abdomen.
Heavy to medium flow with bright, red blood and small clots. #2, Day 17


GENERAL
Tired; bones feel heavy, like a weight on my shoulders. #2, Day 17


SLEEP
Despite being very tired, physically and emotionally, I had a hard time
getting to sleep; mentally restless. #2, Day 17


DAY EIGHTEEN
SLEEP
Woke up twice, once at midnight and again at 5:00 a.m., both times because
of alarms going off. I am sleeping in a new house, new bed, with a new cat
and I am easily disturbed. I was very tired on waking at 9:00 a.m. and
couldn’t get out of bed until 10:00 a.m.. I have that heavy, tired feeling in my
body and bones. #2, Day 18


MIND
A bit “spacey” and can’t make up my mind about anything. I couldn’t even
make up my mind about eating breakfast – when and what? So, I didn’t eat
breakfast. I am mentally tired, but calm emotionally. Not so teary. #2, Day 18


MOUTH
I have that canker still in the lower right side, inside the lip. There is very
little sensation with it. #2, Day 18



                                        123
FEMALE
Light flow, no pain. #2, Day 18


GENERAL
Craving smoked salmon. #2, Day 18


DAY NINETEEN
DREAMS
I dreamt about a city with lots of ethnic diversity, trying to find my way on a
bike, but I can’t. Tibetan monks appear. #2, Day 19


MIND
I am worried about the cat I am caring for as it is very old and seems to have
diarrhea. I’m leaving tomorrow for school and don’t know if I should call a
vet. #2, Day 19


SLEEP
Light due to worry about the cat. #2, Day 19


SKIN
Hands seem to be very dry, especially on the right palm. This is an old
symptom for me. Dry and parched looking. #2, Day 19


MIND
Agitated today. The cat is sick – diarrhea and vomiting. Since I have to leave
tomorrow for school, I am worried. The vet says to give antibiotics for the
next 5 days. Since the owners of the cat want this, I must. I haven’t been able
to do anything but deal with the cat. My mind is restless. #2, Day 19


GENERAL
I am holding myself very tight and rigid and my body feels agitated. It’s like
there’s something irritating my blood vessels and I can feel it course through
my veins. #2, Day 19


STOMACH


                                      124
Barely ate. Hungry but can’t eat because I just don’t seem to want to swallow.
#2, Day 19



DAY TWENTY
SLEEP
Very light and woke before alarm. Very tired and annoyed. #2, Day 20


MIND
Restless and agitated and worried about the cat; worried about getting
enough sleep; worried about the alarm going off; worried about money…and
the list goes on.
Forgot to call my supervisor this evening. Was focused for the most part at
school, but felt that my mental capacity was restrained, not from the norm,
but from my potential. #2, Day 20


MOUTH
Canker sore gone, but a new one has developed on my tongue on the right
side; not overly painful but sensitive to touch. #2, Day 20


SKIN
The palm of my right hand is dry – white flakes coming off and definite lines
of dryness. #2, Day 20


GENERAL
Good energy overall, but has a nervous quality to it. Despite being up since
4:00 a.m., still not sleepy at 11:00 p.m.. Thinking of the cat and the house. Not
as anxious as this morning. #2, Day 20


HEARING
Ringing. #2, Day 20


STOMACH
Very hungry today. Ate a large dinner, but hungry after. #2, Day 20




                                       125
DAY TWENTY-ONE
DREAMS
I dreamt of my ex-partner opening a store of clothing and alternative lifestyle
accessories, with a partner. This dream morphed into one in which we are
still living together but not together as a couple. He invites a mutual friend to
visit and sleeps with her. (Actually, he has invited a friend to his house this
weekend, and I feel that they will have sex, so this is real.) It destroys me. I
freak out, leave, and drive really fats in a car which has no brakes. I nearly
crash. When I look to see behind me I see a child in the back seat. I got very
frightened and upset because I could have hurt more than just myself. I feel
ashamed of my reaction and near accident. #2, Day 21


SLEEP
Good but still tired waking up. Not enough sleep. I have been sleep-deprived
this past few days and now I just want to sleep. #2, Day 21


MOUTH
Canker on right side of tongue. #2, Day 21


SKIN
Dry, white flakes; skin with dry lines. #2, Day 21


MIND
Jealous of my ex-artner thinking of him spending time with a female friend.
Thinking of him possibly sleeping with her makes me feel sick to my
stomach. I was never jealous during our relationship, even when he did sleep
with someone else. #2, Day 21


EXIT NOTES

Constriction, feeling trapped, couldn’t go anywhere, feeling stuck, couldn’t
move. wake up unrefreshed. Sleep heavy, wake up late, unrefreshed.
Oppressive feeling on me, heavy bone feeling. Sleep sat on my chest. My
mind was fine, I couldn’t go there, couldn’t wake up, couldn’t move. A lot of
right sided complaints. Pimple right side of my tongue. Not painful. Just
there. went into proving with canker on right side of mouth. Got another,
now another on the right side of my tongue. Right shoulder knot, right hand
cramp in bet thumb and pointer. In first few days hearing really sharp.
Someone would rustle a paper. I could hear a pin drop. Ringing in right ear.


                                       126
Pulling in sensation. I never keep track of my period because I don’t seem to
have any control over it anyway so why bother. Left boyfriend of 6 years,
very emotional, teary. Not sure proving or me. Sense of irritation – I work as
a waitress as well. “Who are you to ask me for another beer!” I would be so
angry, so agitated, I’d have to get someone else to take the table because I
was so irritated. Only with strangers. With roommate or friends or parents
no irritation. I didn’t verbalize it, I just watched it. A few sharp pains in
lower abdomen in the center bet midnight and 1 am. Just above navel.
Radiate down to my leg. 20 sec and stop 2-3 minutes. Sharp stabbing pain.
Tight muscle cramp right inner thigh. Shoulder- hand – thigh. Onset mid
morning, finished 7pm, same as the other muscle spasms or tightness.
Everything > for movement. Constriction centered around my heart. Tight.
I felt boxed in, unable to move, didn’t have this freedom of movement.
“Sensation of being drowned by my own fears. Drowned and weighing
down.”



PROVER NUMBER THREE
DAY ONE
DREAMS
Changing clothes a lot. Went to a party with Jacqui and Paul and felt
awkward as I realized I’d left my uniform on. There was a Christmas tree
and lots of puppies there and people smoking cigarettes; traveling – planes,
trains and automobiles. I was getting on a bus to go to my property. The fair
is different types of chocolate. The driver wants it all and we flirt and
negotiate. I think to myself, I must be smart in negotiating. On the deck of a
cruise ship, very in the moment as the grey whales jump. I encourage
everyone to be in the moment. The sunset colours are amazing. One of the
whales waves at me. How cool is that! The cruise ships have wheels now so
that is they’re too big for the canal, you can just take a major thoroughfare
after dark. The world’s advancing too fast! This is too much! #3, Day 1


BACK
The upper back aches with a cold sensation under the skin from the bra line
up between the scapula. Began on rising and continued throughout the day.
At 2:30 p.m. the cold sensation was gone, but the tightness caused me to want
to stretch. By 3:50 p.m. there was a stabbing, shooting pain in the tailbone –
lower back below the waist with constant pain in the tailbone. This happened
during a familiar workout session. Hot shower improved and was much
better by 5:00 p.m.. #3, Day 1




                                      127
FEMALE
Period started as usual, but really uncomfortable combined with the lower
back pain. Took Advil to get through work. Usually during the period the
genitalia is very sore and feel like it will fall out, but not this time. #3, Day 1



THROAT
Around midnight, sore throat at the back of the mouth, maybe adenoids.
#3, Day 1


DAY TWO
DREAMS
Waitress dreams, but not stressful as they usually are. I was hugging a small,
blonde child who ordered pelligrino and a side of anchovies. #3, Day 2
Dreamed of waking and writing about a pulsating neck for the proving.
#3, Day 2
Dreamed that my ex came to work. I was pissed off that he would come there
after I’ve asked him not to, yet happy that he’s still alive. #3, Day 2
A dentist was trying to get his hands in my mouth. I grabbed his wrists and
pushed him away. I woke up angry and anxious that I was aggravating from
the proving and wondering how I would get through work. #3, Day 2


FACE
1:30 p.m. had sinus pain; as if an ice pick was being driven through the root of
my nose. By 3:00 p.m. felt as though I had heavy glasses on. #3, Day 2


STOMACH
Not attracted to food today. #3, Day 2


RECTUM
Stool on waking at 9:40 a.m.. This is unusual for me on rising. #3, Day 2


FEMALE
Cramps but no pain in the genitalia and no sensation that everything will
drop out, an improvement for me. #3, Day 2



                                        128
BACK
Stiff and sore, worse for movement. #3, Day 2


SLEEP
Restless and turning from side to side, rather than sleeping on my back as
usual. #3, Day 2


DAY THREE
MIND
Very “bluesy.” Feel like withdrawing, that all is quite hopeless and that I’d
like to stay in bed all day. Felt better after a workout. #3, Day #


HEAD
Sensation of fullness and heaviness for apporx. One hour after rising.
#3, Day 1


NOSE & FACE
Some sinus pressure lingering from yesterday. #3, Day 3


THROAT
Now aware of adenoid area, though couldn’t call it pain. #3, Day 3


BACK
Stiff on waking. #3, Day 3


EXTREMITIES
5:00 p.m. the padding of the ball of the foot near the baby toe of the right foot
is painful to walk on, as though there is a rock in my shoe. Hurt with each
step; lasted about an hour. #3, Day 3


DAY FOUR
DREAMS
I am planning a party for a grandmother, not mine. I was helping to select a
banquet facility. The older ladies were talking about mailing underwear. I’m
confused but I don’t ask, because I don’t want to know! The waitress is

                                       129
clearing plates. I can see the remains of purple cabbage coleslaw. My Mom
has eaten my clubhouse sandwich on me and she doesn’t appear to be sorry!
Why would you eat my sandwich? How could you betray me this way? Oh
well, I’ll order another and this time with French fries. Yeah! I love fries!
#3, Day 4


MIND
Feeling good with the beautiful weather, but sad and betrayed with what is
going on at work. There’s no loyalty anymore. #3, Day 4
My cash was over at work. I have not made a mistake like this in six years.
#3, Day 4


RECTUM
Soft stool at the end of the movement. Lots of wiping required. #3, Day 4


DAY FIVE
DREAMS
I am stretched out, almost lounging behind the bar at work, in front of guests,
eating a huge bowl of fresh prawns. I had no concern for the well-being of the
guests or what they would think of me. I was only thinking about how I could
get someone to bring me more cocktail sauce. I’m throwing the tails of the
prawns recklessly about. #3, Day 5


MIND
Feeling cynical, worn out, and tired, tired of looking after myself and
disciplining myself. At work I’m always looking after others. I want to retire!
I can’t believe I have another 30 years to go! #3, Day 5


EAR
Itchy with lots of bright yellow wax, worse in the right ear. #3, Day 5


DAY SIX
DREAMS
I am in Paris, driving through the French countryside. The blossoms are so
beautiful! The house we are going to stay in is just gorgeous. Now in the city,
the buildings are so old, and the apartment is perfect. The lines for the
bathroom are so long. I forgot my shampoo for the shower. I don’t care about
the shampoo because I’ll lose my place if I go back for it. #3, Day 6

                                      130
I am driving with friends in Nanaimo. The driver takes the corner too wide
and we’re heading into oncoming traffic. He gets us back in time. I never
doubted that he would. #3, Day 6


I’m sitting on the edge of my bed thinking about going out to dinner with my
ex, then remembering that we don’t see each other anymore. #3, Day 6


MIND
Making lots of spelling and grammatical errors writing today. #3, Day 6


STOOL
Small pieces of stool that sank. #3, Day 6


DAY SEVEN
DREAMS
There is a small toddler, a little red-haired girl, in diapers playing and
exploring around open flames. I’m very worried, and in a panic to remove the
child from the danger. The parent is there, and doesn’t want me to be
involved. They tell me to leave the child be, that they have to learn on their
own. I think, “No, she’s too small!” I’m so scared. An invisible force moves
me away. I can’t save her. She falls and rolls in the flames. The parent seems
happy. She is burned, she will learn. I pick her up and cradle her. Her hand is
burned badly. Her parent is my father. I was disturbed on waking from this
dream. #3, Day 7


MOUTH
Very dry on waking. #3, Day 7


STOMACH
Feeling full and distended for what I have eaten today. #3, Day 7


DAY EIGHT
DREAMS
In the forest with huge, purple peaches growing off the bushes. I’m having
difficulty trying to cross a river with a rabbit in a box. There’s a big hole. I
hear a snake. I run away, dropping the box. I feel bad for having left the

                                        131
rabbit behind. #3, Day 8



EYE
Copious discharge in the corners of the eyes this morning. #3, Day 8


VISION
Saw light balls out of the corners of my eyes, moving along the floor, like
mice darting around and disappearing. #3, Day 8


THROAT
Dry on waking. Swallowing felt like pins. #3, Day 8


STOMACH
Feel stretched. #3, Day 8


DAY NINE
MIND
Feeling that life is a struggle. #3, Day 9


MOUTH
Dry mouth and throat in the mornings on rising. #3, Day 9


DAY TEN
DREAMS
I am in charge of the care of a baby girl. I fall with her in my arms and she
cuts her forehead. It’s bleeding a red, jelly-like substance. My Mom comes to
help me administer first aid. #3, Day 10
I am a patron in a restaurant showing myself to a table near the bar. I can
hear the manager asking an employee to get the tray from me. I took a wrong
turn, and now I’m in a mall very close and convenient to where I’m staying in
California. I’m in a deli where the food looks great. Some guy shoves me,
He’s wearing a shaker knit sweater from the ‘80’s. I’ve got a hold of his wrists
so he can’t punch me. I’m trying to talk him out of making a scene, saying
he’s sweet and funny and too sophisticated to fight in a deli. #3, Day 10


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THROAT
Dry on waking; hard to swallow because there seems to be no saliva.
#3, Day 10


EXTREMITIES
Legs ache from usual workout. #3, Day 10


DAY ELEVEN
DREAMS
I’m having my hair done in a new colour called “honey” and all of the
hairdressers are excited because it was the first time it had been used. My
nails were being pointed, too. #3, Day 11
Received more homework in the mail. Opened the envelope and my jaw
dropped in disbelief. #3, Day 11


MIND
Emotional outburst and crying at dinner break at work. #3, Day 11


RECTUM
Diarrhea at 4:30 p.m. before work. Nervous and unsettled about things
happening at work. #3, Day 11


RECTUM
Itchy anus for about an hour around 8:30 p.m.. #3, Day 11


DAY TWELVE
DREAMS
In a ski resort with a friend and not sure if I have enough money to pay at the
restaurant. I’m pulling our cash from every pocket. #3, Day 12
I’m shopping and can’t find the cornflakes sop I must get Cheerios. It’s $6.46
for a box of Cheerios and I am astounded at the price. I buy coffee and milk
as well. #3, Day 12


                                      133
I’m shooting a movie and I have a funny line where I walk away from four
regular guests at their table (I know them in life). I’m walking up a huge, long
hill to get the four guys coffee. #3, Day 12


GENERAL
Exhausted and feeling overworked trying to keep up with it all. #3, Day 12


EYE
Eyes are dry, tired, and itchy in the inner and outer corners. #3, Day 12


SLEEP
I want to sleep all the time, so much to do. #3, Day 12


DAY THIRTEEN
DREAMS
I dreamt about caring for babies all night. #3, Day 13
Dreamt I was going back to my junior high school and I was worried about
remembering how the block/class rotation worked. I was worried about
fitting in. #3, Day 13


FACE
Dryness where the nostril flares. #3, Day 13


BACK
Some upper back pain in the afternoon, in the centre and towards the left on
the bra line. Feels like nerve pain. #3, Day 13


DAY FOURTEEN
DREAMS
I am being toured around a gym and asking many questions before I buy in.
The more I see the more I know that this gym is poor and I won’t put the
money in. I am pointing out why to the person touring me around. #3, Day 14
I’m in Skagway and I’ve missed my ship. I’m running along the rocky shore
to get the next boat and feeling very panicked. #3, Day 14




                                      134
STOMACH
Cramps up high in the stomach area 11:00 a.m. until 1:00 p.m.. #3, Day 14



DAY FIFTEEN
MIND
A heavy heart early in day because of having to face someone at work who
has hurt me. #3, Day 15
Left work early because of a holiday and could not figure out the combination
to my locker, which I use without difficulty 8 or 10 times a week. I became
panicked and afraid and almost teary. I felt feeble and was very afraid to have
to get help. #3, Day 15


BACK
Sciatica acting up on the left side. Not intense, but annoying 6:00 p.m. – 10:00
p.m.. #3, Day 15


DAY SIXTEEN
DREAMS
Had a dream of sitting around a table with other provers and they were all
discussing similar symptoms, none of which matched my symptoms. I was
mortified, thinking, “What’s wrong with me? Has this all been a waste of
time? I’m a bad prover!” One talks like Charlie Brown’s teacher. #3, Day 16
I’m holding hands and wrestling with by best friend’s husband. Her sister
saw us and was angry with me. I felt like a horrible person for not realizing
that it was wrong and I knew she would tell my friend. I want to get to my
friend to tell her myself. #3, Day 16


STOMACH
Crampy, churning feeling.


RECTUM
Stool is loose and comes in small portions, three times by 1:00 p.m..


BACK
Stiff lower back this morning, like nerves are irritated. Pain moved up to


                                       135
mid-back from waist to bra line. #3, Day 16



DAY SEVENTEEN
DREAMS
I had a frustrating waitress dream where the entire restaurant was full before
opening time. The first table I approached kept changing their minds and
wouldn’t allow me to get to the other tables. I’m very stressed but trying not
to let it show. #3, Day 17


MIND
I feel listless, without motivation and my concentration is difficult. Sciatica is
getting very troubling. Looking forward to this proving being over! #3, Day 17


BACK
Continued sciatica on the lower left side. Better lying down and during sleep.
Worse with movement. #3, Day 17


CHEST
Itchy breasts at work all night. #3, Day 17


DAY EIGHTEEN
DREAMS
A beautiful wood table that extends and fold up several different ways. This
is a real find but I can afford it. I have no room, but this is so special so I
made room for it. My dad was with me. #3, Day 18


MIND
It’s so important to surround myself with good people. They make all the
difference in my attitudes. #3, Day 18


BACK
Neuralgic pains all over mid back. Would like to apply heat. Sciatica still
nagging on the left side. #3, Day 18




                                       136
DAY NINETEEN
MIND
Spelling is terrible, but can’t help it even when I know the correct spelling of
a word! #3, Day 19


URINE
Red sediment, like dried chilies. This happened earlier in the proving as well.
#3, Day 19


DAY TWENTY
DREAMS
I was sleeping in my childhood home in the basement. I am nursing someone
else’s baby, like I’m a surrogate. I am wearing a Vietnamese-style green
dress. Next I am wakened in the middle of the night by some teens passing
through my yard by my window. There are just a few at first, then they come
in droves. I can see them through the sheers. I’m a little afraid they’ll start
trouble and break into the house and hurt the baby. If I stay really quiet and
still, they won’t notice me. They’re starting to run and stampede and the
police are here. They have brought maybe 50 dogs, one of which has already
gone mad and attacked a boy. The police can’t get the dog off the boy. This is
happening right under my window. They all see me now! I get out of the bed
to go outside and my basement is full of tortured, dead dogs. I think that the
teens did this while I slept. They are everywhere in glass cases, like in an
exhibition. I can’t stop screaming. I scream until I wake myself up. #3, Day 20


BACK
Neuralgic morning pain that changed to a dull ache during the rest of the day.
#3, Day 20


EXIT NOTES
I too got my period right after taking the remedy and I wasn’t due for several
days. That’s normal for me – pretty changeable. Usually my genitalia hurt
and felt like it was going to drop out and I didn’t have that this time. I had a
lot of back sx. Sciatica – left. Confusion – what’s me, what’s the proving,
what’s the proving, is this all worth it. It was a struggle, not that I didn’t care
or despondent, life’s a bitch and then you die and what’s the point. Que sera,

                                        137
I have no control so I’m just resigned, not a victim per se but I’ll just get
through it. Heaviness in the limbs, just got to get through it. With dreams I
was dreaming of babies almost every night. I’m not a mom. A lot of times
situations where I couldn’t help. The baby is not mine but is in my care and I
can’t help. It made me think I’m going to be a bad mom. I’m falling with the
baby and the baby’s getting hurt because I can’t help it. Back stuff worse in
the morning. Bad sleeps the first few nights. I did always have that heavy
feeling all day. Normally if I have a good sleep I’m refreshed but I wasn’t
refreshed. Normally I get up and work out. But no motivation to work out.
I’m too heavy, what’s the point. Once I started working out and after 5
minutes, I can’t do this. Annoyed, why did I sign up to this. I just want to go
back to being me because I can’t move forward. Everything is just happening
to me, I can’t move forward on my own. Things just coming and you just
have to take it but I was resigned to that. Holding on to this – the 17th, when
is this going to be over. The feeling that then life can begin again. Stuff with
my adenoids 1st few days. Annoying. Padding on baby toe, right foot felt like
I was stepping on a rock. I’m a waitress too I didn’t break any glasses but I
made mistakes I haven’t made in 6 years. I put too much money in. I open
this locker 2-3 times a day, 4-5 days a week, forgot combination, thought I’m
going to have to go home in my uniform b/c I can’t go and tell them.
Confused, things I couldn’t wrap my brain around. A dream I had last night –
really frightened, couldn’t go back to sleep. Waking up in 1 of my childhood
bedrooms, I’m looking after a baby, there’s teenagers walking by window
they’ve been partying, I’m scared, don’t want them to hurt them, if I can be
quiet, they baby will be ok. Hundreds of teenagers, they start to stampeded.
The cops have released 50 dogs, a dog attacked a boy right outside my
window, the dog’s gone mad, I get up to try to help, there’s tortured dogs in
glass cases all through the house. Screaming – woke myself out. (dreams
right after taking remedy). 1st night – dentist trying to get his hands in my
mouth and I grabbed his wrists, and we’re struggling. Another one a fight
with a guy in the deli and holding his wrists. Had a dream where I felt
betrayed b/c my mom ate my sandwich when my back was turned. Dream I
was laying on the bar eating prawns and throwing the shells. Small baby in
diapers playing around an open flame. Parents there and I want to help, to
stop baby from hurting self but the parents say no, they have to learn, baby
rolling in flames, I get him out, parent is happy he’s learned his lesson, hand
burnt badly. I’m traumatized. I realize the parent of this child is my father.
2 dreams of the provings. That I had to get out of bed and write about a
pulsating neck. Another we were sitting around table at exit meeting and
either I was talking and they were looking at me like I was crazy or they were
talking and I didn’t have any of the sx. They’ve all had similar sx and I
haven’t had any of them.




                                      138
PROVER NUMBER FOUR
DAY ONE
DREAMS
I jolted, gripped in fear and anxiety as a picture of a huge, dark snake took
over my dreams. It slammed into my consciousness. I jumped in terror and
gasped. Once I calmed down, I realized that I had been having other, nice,
regular dreams but couldn’t remember them. The snake took over and
scared me! Mind continued to race with dreams afterward. #4, Day 1


DAY TWO
DREAMS
My dreams were as if in fast forward mode. Super fast so that I couldn’t hold
onto them. #4, Day 2


CHEST
Heat skipped a beat and feeling short of breath. This was a strong and
sudden sensation. Heart feels prominent and feeling very warm. #4, Day 2


DAY THREE
CHEST
Having difficulty getting enough air into my lungs and heart is racing. Feels
like a mini-suffocation. #4, Day 3


FACE
Tingling sensation at the bridge of the nose while labouring to take in enough
oxygen. Tension in nostrils. #4, Day 3


FACE
Tension in jaw. #4, Day 4, Day 5




                                     139
DAY SIX
DREAMS
I am in a large, festive room in Mexico. My brother announces that he will be
getting married. We say, “great, when and where?” He says, “Thailand, July
7th.” He picks the date of our failed marriages’ anniversaries. I decide that
I’m not going to go to the wedding. The date is bad luck. I am angry.
#4, Day 6


MIND
Feeling crappy, having negative thoughts and some anxiety. Not thinking
clearly, feeling confused and impatient. This is a familiar mood. #4, Day 6


DAY SEVEN
DREAMS
A good dream about an old boyfriend. #4, Day 7


FEMALE
I usually get cramps and a headache before my period, but didn’t this time.
#4, Day 7


DAY EIGHT
GENERAL
Toured Nahobi Gardens. #4, Day 7


FEMALE
No cramps or headache during first and second days of menses, but extra
heavy flow. #4, Day 8


DAY NINE
BACK
Stiff, sore back. #4, Day 9



                                     140
DAY TEN
DREAMS
Dreams involving anxiety about partner’s health. #4, Day 10


SLEEP
Interrupted and woke up tired. #4, Day 10


BACK
Spine in pain all day, intensified with headache. By evening the entire skeletal
system, every bone is aching. The pain is extreme. I feel shattered, fragile,
weak, whiplashed. #4, Day 10


DAY ELEVEN
STOMACH
Awakened at 2:30 a.m. by urgent need to vomit, but only vomited a little.
#4, Day 11


FACE
Jaw and teeth aching with a bit of a headache. #4, Day 11, Day 12


DAY TWELVE
GENERAL
Low energy, tired and sleepy. #4, Day 11


DAY THIRTEEN
DREAMS
Unpleasant dreams about my ex-partner with a lot of anxiety. #4, Day 13


MIND
Feeling like I could explode while viewing the video of daughter’s wedding. I
wanted to scream and cry in disappointment and frustration. #4, Day 13


                                      141
FACE
Aching jaw and teeth in the evening. #4, Day 13


DAY FOURTEEN
GENERAL
Skeletal structure feels a bit fragile. #4, Day 14


DAY FIFTEEN
DREAMS
Frustrating dream in which I wanted to go on a trip but couldn’t get
organized to do it.


MIND
Lots of heavy emotional issues are coming up with family. Feeling
compassionate but detached. #4, Day 15


DAY SIXTEEN
MIND
Extremely irritated and frustrated during talk with lawyer. I felt detached
and disconnected. #4, Day 16


DAY EIGHTEEN
GENERAL
Energy in super, high gear! #4, Day 18


MIND
Experiencing a stronger sense of personal boundaries. #4, Day 18


DAY TWENTY
GENERAL
Talked with a friend who just shook hands with the Dalai Lama. #4, Day 20

                                        142
PROVER NUMBER FIVE
DAY ONE
DREAMS


I am walking on a trail in the forest. On one side of the trail is a cliff leading
down to the ocean. On the other side is a forest. All of a sudden there are two
deer grazing on the trail blocking off the path. I don’t know what to do and I
am afraid of the animals. I see no way around, but I don’t want to go back. I
was standing in front of an animal wanting to pass by, but feeling the power
of its presence and experiencing an inner anxiety. #5, Day 1


SLEEP
Woke up a lot during the night and got up earlier than usual. #5, Day 1


FACE
A tickly sensation around my lips upon waking, similar to a sensation I have
before an outbreak of herpes around the lips. #5, Day 1


MIND
Without emotion, tears shot into my eyes while talking with my boyfriend
about his problems. #5, Day 1


HEAD
Pressing frontal right-sided head pain that began around 8:00 p.m.. This is a
familiar symptom and was better by sleeping. #5, Day 1


EXTREMITIES
I woke up during the night with a prickly sensation throughout the whole
right side of my body. #5, Day 1


DAY TWO
MIND


                                       143
A kind of awkward behavior in which I am laughing about serious situations.
#5, Day 1


I am unable to follow and concentrate on important issues at night. #5, Day 2


SLEEP
Restlessness during sleep, woke up several times, but refreshed on waking.
#5, Day 2


FEMALE
Right-sided, boring ovarian pain that started around 8:00 p.m.. It was worse
with pressure, coition and better with heat (hot water bottle). Whenever I had
this in the past, I had my menses, but not this time. #5, Day 2


EXTREMITIES
Shooting ankle pain, right-sided, from 3:30 a.m. – 4:30 a.m.. Nothing would
ameliorate. I woke up with the pain and could not go back to sleep until it
stopped. #5, Day 2


DAY THREE
SLEEP
Could not tolerate close body contact while sleeping. I usually sleep in the
arms of my boyfriend, but asked him a few times to move over and give me
more room. #5, Day 3


MIND
My boyfriend thinks that I am very snappy and oversensitive, reacting
strangely. #5, Day 3


DAY FOUR
DREAMS
I dreamt about a girl who’s case I took last night. She is slowly walking down
in a gigantic, hollow, bright cocoon-like tunnel. This tunnel is a very confined
space. There is no danger but yet there is the will to get out and reach the
end. I am mentally with her in the tunnel but I am also able to step back and
see the overall picture. #5, Day 4


                                      144
STOOL
Hard stool in the morning after walking. Usually I have very soft stool,
almost diarrhea, which comes on 2 or 3 times in the morning. #5, Day 4


EXTREMITIES
Right knee pain extending to the ankle lasting through the whole day. It feels
as if I am growing and is worse riding my bicycle. #5, Day 4, Day 5


DAY FIVE
STOOL
The first stool of the morning was hard and the second undigested, soft,
diarrhea-like. #5, Day 4


GENERAL
Reacted unusually to beer, feeling drunk and getting a headache after half a
glass. #5, Day 5


DAY SIX
STOOL
Hard stool only in the morning. #5, Day 6


DAY SEVEN
STOOL
No stool in the morning. Hard stool, almost constipated at night. Lots of gas
during the day. #5, Day 7


DAY EIGHT
STOOL
Hard stool in the morning. #5, Day 8


                                       145
SLEEP
Woke up many times during the night, each time taking a long time to go
back to sleep. #5, Day 8


MOUTH
During the night I developed a painless, lentil-sized blister on the gum
between the two lower front teeth. #5, Day 8


DAY NINE
STOOL
Still hard and only one movement in the morning. #5, Day 9


SLEEP
Woke up around 1:00 a.m. and could not fall back to sleep until 4:00 a.m.. The
moon was full, which has caused this sleeplessness in the past. #5, Day 9


DAY TEN
STOOL
First stool hard and the second, 30 minutes later, very soft, almost diarrhea.
#5, Day 10


MOUTH
Blister between the lower front teeth bled after brushing the teeth. #5, Day 10
Developed a little painful white pimple just below the above blister.
#5, Day 10


DAY ELEVEN
HEAD
Left-sided, frontal, pressing head pain that usually comes one or two days
before the menses. #5, Day 11




                                      146
MOUTH
Little white pimple on the gum between the lower front teeth still there.
#5, Day 11
ABDOMEN
Cramping pain after stool, better with heat and better lying down. Pain lasted
for 3o minutes. This usually happens one or two days before menses.
#5, Day 11


STOOL
First stool hard, the second, 10 minutes later, undigested.


DAY FOURTEEN
MIND
Emotionally very sensitive. Cried a lot during the day and had a big fight with
my boyfriend. #5, Day 14


FEMALE
Menses two days late. #5, Day 14


GENERAL
No craving for sweets – very unusual. #5, Day 14, Day 16, Day 17


EXIT NOTES
In the first few nights I couldn’t sleep well. I woke up a lot during the night.
waking up with tickling over body, especially on right side. Mentally first few
days I was really careless. Couldn’t carry on conversation and stay to the
point, nothing mattered, I was laughing at things. During menses really
emotional, cried a lot, fights with boyfriend. Symptoms in my mouth – weird
air bubble, as big as a lentil in front of my teeth, I could push it back and
forth. Sensation of getting herpes, and I haven’t had herpes for 1-1/2 years.
Got herpes yesterday. Pimple in mouth, hurting. Bowel movement – usually
really loose, I had almost constipation. I had a lot of pains in my bones,
feeling that I was growing. In my legs and knee. Affected by full moon
nights, couldn’t sleep. My boyfriend said I was snappy and bitchy. Dream
night after remedy. I was walking in a forest on a path and on one side there
was a forest, on another a cliff going down to the ocean. Two deer standing
on path looking at me and I was afraid and didn’t know what to do. There
was no way around it – on one side, ocean and cliffs and on the other forest


                                      147
and maybe some danger. At the same time I didn’t wan to return, to turn
around and turn back. Danger. They were just eating grass and looking at
me. Sometimes I wasn’t taking care. Smashed a few glasses and cut myself
2-3 times on my hands. My menses were 2 days later than they normally are.
During my period I usually have lots of chocolate and sweets, but I didn’t
want any sweets. (Irritability?) I didn’t see the point of talking about serious
issues. Life goes on anyways. Careless. There were serious decisions I
needed to make in my life and I was just like I don’t care. It seemed it didn’t
matter and I was laughing about serious situations because I was like why
bother worrying about it. That was only in the first 3 days. I felt detached
from my emotions, from my feelings. My boyfriend was talking about
serious things and all of a sudden there were tears in my eyes but I didn’t feel
anything about it. Felt really drunk after 1/2 glass of beer, it felt like I was
drinking 3 beers. Yesterday I was drinking a lot, not feeling well now.
(feeling of dream) it was a fear. It reminded me of my childhood, being on an
open field with horses or cows and you need to get from one point to another
but there’s this animal in between. I was afraid of the animal. I knew they
weren’t going to attack me, I was just afraid of them.


PROVER NUMBER SIX
PRIOR TO THE PROVING
The many layers of my life that have been impacted by this proving astonish
me.
It began the day after the initial proving meeting. That morning, a friend,
with whom I stay when I’m in town for class, commented on her experience
seeing a woman in town who does channeling. My immediate thought was
that I would go see her, and it would be as soon as possible. This being
Sunday morning, I called prior to class, leaving a message to make an
appointment for that evening before catching the 9:00 p.m. flight back to
Calgary. She called back during class and the appointment was made.
Walking around the neighborhood with two classmates during our lunch
break, I fell on my face as I recalled an important dream that I had about 12
years ago. I was not hurt, but definitely shaken. In this dream, I had enough
money to buy two houses. The first was shining emerald green, connected to
the earth by being part of a living tree. In the house was my dad and a pipe
organ (pipe organ refers to my current husband, and father to my first
daughter, as he is a pipe organ technician. At the time of the dream, I was not
with him.). The second house is up the hill. It’s white with pillars. As I
approach it, the road crumbles beneath my feet. I understand that the road is
not ready, and I accept the green, shining house instead. This is the moment
in recalling the dream that I fell on my face. I went back to class feeling
spacey and like my defenses were definitely down.
After class, I arrived at the channeler’s place around 5:30, spent some time
with a friend of the channeler, and our session began. The session

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immediately brought out a situation of child sexual abuse from my youth.
This I did not voice in this session, but it clearly came up first. What I was
most concerned about was my singing, if my career would continue, and
what role my creative work would play. I was also concerned about becoming
a healer, what was needed in my personal growth to be effective as a
homeopath, and if I would have to choose one or the other.
I left this session with things stirred up in these areas, with more questions
than answers. I left there at 8:19 p.m., got in a cab at 8:28 p.m. and “flew” to
the airport in the fastest 10-minute cab ride of my life. In the cab, I was struck
by these waves of heat throughout the middle of my body. I went through
security and got to the gate just as general boarding for the 9:00 p.m. flight
began. The speed of this sequence was breath taking.
The channeler and I were in contact be e-mail. She was very concerned about
me as she continued to get impressions of me, like she couldn’t shake my
energy. She felt a tremendous heaviness and depression, which continued for
a couple of days. That was definitely what I was feeling also.


After two weeks we were back in class again. The proving was officially
starting and I went to see this channeler again, this time with two other
women. Again the sexual abuse issue came up for me and again I was unable
to talk about it. What I did come away with was realizing that I needed to
take my creative work “out of the closet” both literally and figuratively (I
made a CD that was in a box in the closet of my office) and that I needed to
sing in church. This is something I have done in the past, particularly during
my second marriage, and a little since.
 I felt that I was missing it, that it is something that I am called to do. It’s a
quandary for me because it’s difficult to find a church in which my original
spiritual music would be understood. My themes and musical style do not fit
with any mainstream churches. Anyway, I decided that I must honor my
work, get it out of the closet, let it breathe, find an outlet for it. With this
came some hope.
Before I continue, I want to tell the story of my dad. It is of critical
importance to my experience in this proving. I mentioned it in my intake with
my supervisor for the proving.
My dad was the black sheep of the family. Actually, he called himself a “black
Irishman.” He did not look like the rest of his family. He was over 6’ tall, had
a dark, full head of hair with a hairline that came to a peak at the forehead,
and high, proud cheekbones. Dad had that Elvis look in his youth. Very
handsome. His siblings were short, bald men with round features and pale,
freckled complexion. He also had a terrible problem with alcohol that took
him to his death at age 61. Around the time of his death, November of 1995, is
when I developed migraine headaches timed with my period. I also had the
following dream:


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I am in a rustic house with my father’s mother. She is an old woman, as I
remember her. We are in a small bedroom in this house. It is sparsely
furnished, only a cot and a bedside table in this room. On the bedside table is a
cup that is full to overflowing with thick, coagulated, foamy blood. My
grandmother seemed unaware of the cup and kept saying to me, “I have to go to
sleep, I have to go to sleep.” She lay down and went to sleep. I took the cup and
drank the contents. This seemed like the appropriate thing to do. I was not
disgusted by taking this into myself.

At the time of this dream, which is one of the most memorable dreams of my
life, I was clear that I drank the blood to do the healing that she was unable to
do. At that time, I thought that the healing was about abuse. I was in the midst of
battling in court with my abusive second husband. My mandate was that the
abuse had to be faced and stopped. He had been charged by the police for sexual
interference and sexual touching involving my youngest daughter.

In November of 2000, I noticed an advertisement in Macleans magazine for a
coffee table book that was a collection of photos of Canadian Aboriginal
people. I was astonished by the resemblance of the man in this photo to my
dad. I took the page out of the magazine and showed it to my Mom and one
of my sisters, saying, “who does this look like to you?” They also saw the
resemblance. I remembered that my dad did not think that the man who we
thought was his father was truly his father. Now I was beginning to put some
pieces together. At this time, my oldest daughter was in Victoria studying
photography. She was having a terrible time with alcohol that eventually led
her to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. At these meetings she met a Metis
woman who asked her if she had Native background. She answered no, but
showed the woman a family photo of my father’s side of the family. She
pointed to my dad and said, “that’s a Cree man.” This woman was the third
Native woman to ask her if she had Native blood. The two others were from
other times and places in her life. When we went to Victoria to move my
daughter and her stuff back to Alberta, I attended an AA meeting with her.
One of the men there looked so much like my dad that I stared at him for
most of the meeting. As he began to talk about the residential school, it really
started to sink in to my understanding. My dad was half Indian.
Now I was beginning to understand more fully the meaning of the dream with
the disgusting blood in the cup. My dad was born in 1933. Whether he was the
product of an affair or an assault, his being a “bastard” was something that
my grandmother could not deal with. I took it into myself willingly to
assimilate and heal it.
Dad was born in Irma, which is near Wainwright, Alberta, in the heart of Cree
country. They left the farm to move to Lethbridge when he was about 10
years old. That’s when he was no longer okay, from the moment he left the
farm. All his life he sketched landscapes, though ridiculed for it by a nasty
uncle. He loved to hunt and fish. He was an oddball in his family, always the
exception. The man who we thought was my grandfather hated him, while


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my grandmother had a special love for him. My dad drank too much with his
buddies from his teens on. They all seemed to be able to keep their lives
together. He had an affair with a Metis woman from work for the last five
years that my parents were together. Dad left my Mom with four girls, ages 5
– 13. He just left, didn’t pay support, had very little contact with us. I was
touched to find all the letters we sent to him in a special Black Magic tin
chocolate box in his things after he died. He went through another marriage
and jobs and eventually ended up on welfare, sharing a trailer with another
guy in Yarrow. He died of a massive heart attack over his morning coffee at
61. He was never at home anywhere. He was estranged from family his
whole life. Two or three years before he died, when he still had his house, he
had rented a room to a Native man who talked to him about Great Spirit. He
told me that these discussions were the only talk about God that made any
sense to him.
When I discussed my theory with my three sisters and my mother, they all
responded positively, saying, “Oh, that makes sense.” I expected them to tell
me I was crazy. Many pieces of the puzzle, all of which I will not mention
here, began to fall into place.


DAY ONE
I took the remedy the night of the second day of my period.
I have an intense headache, not uncommon with my period. #6, Day 1



COUGH

I experienced a deep, choking cough, deep in the sense of where it originated.
It was only one cough. #6, Day 1



RESPIRATION

The remedy has aggravated my asthma. There’s a tiny rattle as I inhale. My
throat feels scratchy. #6, Day 1



HEAD

Coughing hurts the headache on the left side of the head through the temple –
the jarring motion of coughing is what does it. #6, Day 1




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DREAMS

I dreamt that I was visiting my friend in New York, but he wasn’t there much.
Also involved swimming in deep water. He was swimming too. We were not
swimming at the same time. Wasn’t any fear about that deep water, in fact I
got in with somebody, not sure who it was and it was a little bit playful. I had
to swim quite a long way and that seemed to be all right, I didn’t seem to be
afraid. #6, Day 1


MIND
I remembered that one of the issues that came up on the second visit with the
first channeler was the torturing of a neighborhood Chihuahua dog. This was
a memory from my childhood. I took part in the torturing. It was in the
middle of summer when I was about 8 years old. #6, Day 1


RECTUM
I got up at 5:30 a.m. to empty my bowels. The timing was normal, but I had a
marked lingering feeling of “have to go” for about 10 minutes after finishing.
#6, Day 1


HEAD
The migraine headache that I often suffer, that usually starts on the third day
of the period, started to come on. By mid-afternoon, it was raging, and I was
unable to work. By evening it was horrible, one of the worst I have
experienced. Bryonia and/or my hot yoga class often relieve this headache.
However, these things did not help it. It just kept getting worse. Desperate for
some relief, I took some Ibuprofen. This does not usually help this headache,
but it did this time, allowing me to get some sleep. I usually avoid taking
analgesics because they don’t really do much and they can extend the
headache for another day. They also usually cause constipation. This time,
the headache was gone by 9:00 a.m. on its third day. It lifted quite suddenly. I
did not experience any constipation from the Ibuprofen. #6, Day 1


FEMALE
Yesterday I was particularly bloated with my period, really bloated in the
lower abdomen area, much more so than usual. #6, Day 1


DAY TWO
DREAM



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 Dream last night of my friends, a gay couple, in a summer home in a
beautiful wooded area. One was broody, the other stayed outside. Many
friends of one of them were there. I had no privacy in the bathroom. After I
went there were these little things like flower petals left in the toilet. A
woman was there who challenged me saying that I would desire her
affections. Later, I went for a ride on my bike to buy some things at a store in
Manhattan. As I was riding through Manhattan, decided that I’d gone too far.
I turned back without getting what I went for. I rode through a crowded
place, knocked some people over that were in my path. Some of them were
sitting on chairs. This place was all red-orange. I asked if everyone was okay.
As I was leaving, a woman came to me for information because she thought
I’d hurt her child. I felt that she was scamming me for money. There was a
lawyer set up right outside of the place preparing to start legal proceedings
against me. I was unconcerned about the child. Seemed well enough for me.
#6, Day 2


COUGH

I had another one of those little choking coughs. It’s dry. This time it didn’t
aggravate asthma and it was very short-lived, just a very sudden, dry,
choking cough and that was around noon today. #6, Day 2



HEAD

My headache is really bad again. It’s around 1:30 p.m. and I’m going to lie
down for a nap. The Ibuprofen has helped; usually it doesn’t, although it’s not
helping so much right now. I’m in a lot of pain and I’m also aggravated by
the smell of food, although I haven’t been nauseous. I did eat but I think I felt
worse after I ate. More pain anyway, after I ate. I ate spicy beef samosa. I’ve
had a few cups of tea today. #6, Day 2



DREAMS

I was dreaming that I was trying to help this little boy. He was very, very
troubled. All I could do was recite the names of the characters on Star Trek
shows. He was on his bicycle. He was supposed to have gone to school, but he
couldn’t make it all the way to school. He was going back home and I was
sent to try to help him. I seemed to have two of my cars, but the keys only to
one. I was with the homeopaths and I was very, very thirsty. There was a big
jug filled with water. I also seemed to be filling out some kind of report about
this boy that I was trying to help. #6, Day 2

This person told me that Helen Keller actually had a lover and his name was

                                       153
Edward Love. There was not much told about this aspect of her life. #6, Day 2

There was also something about my grandmother, who had at one time a lot
of large warts all over her hands. I was half-dreaming, half-wondering if that
was related to some venereal disease that was somehow in the family.
#6, Day 2

I was at a Homeopathy School. It was our school, but it was in a different
setting. It was like it was in New York City and India at the same time. It had
both flavours, even though I’ve never been to India. I was attending with my
daughter. My teachers had come in and they were sprinkling salt throughout
the school. It was a morning ritual and they were honouring the place, the
negative spirits that had been cast out of patients the following day and they
were sending them on their way. They were honouring the day and the
moment and the school. I found that very touching and I was weeping about
that. I was trying to get myself organized to go to class and I somehow
missed the 10 o’clock class, which was History of Homeopathy. #6, Day 2

 I became aware of these twins in this church. This school was somehow
involved with this church, which was an Anglican Church. They were perched
on a ladder in this very white room. One of the twins fell in love with a man
and this torrid, torrid, torrid affair ensued, which eventually apparently was
her demise. But it was this great, great opening for her. There was supposed
to be some kind of gathering in the place where she was staying with this
man. We found where it was because the outside walls of the apartment
building were pulsing with their lovemaking! Trying to get to the corridor
where this apartment was, I had this skinny white dog who went into this
little hole at the base of the door. She had to come back because she couldn’t
get in all the way. I admonished her for being so “not cautious” about
climbing into this very, very tight space. #6, Day 2

Another level of the many layers of this dream was this train that we rode
underground. It was a wonder that the thing could stay on any track because
it was so rickety and so old and the tracks were so windy and steep. Anyway,
we rode that train. My daughter and I were delighted to be taking this course
together. We were kind of surprised that we had this opportunity, it was so
rare. #6, Day 2

Also in the dream at the Homeopathy School there was a woman who was a
singer, a classical singer like I am (in life). We were talking about someone
who had been hired to sing this aria that I thought was normally sung by a
mezzo-soprano and she said that there’s a new way of classifying singers. She
mentioned some word that I don’t remember, but it was a word used to
classify singers that can sing Strauss, and that’s me. This was good that
there will be somebody who will help me to reclassify my voice because I’m
in the process of honouring the creative aspect of my singing work involving a
lot of original work that I had kind of put aside. And it’s original also in the


                                      154
sense of how I use my voice in it, so I thought that was interesting. #6, Day 2



DAY THREE
DREAM
I dreamed of punching and kicking my daughter and her fiancée in the face
and head repeatedly, trying to tell them the how dangerous drinking can be. I
did not seem to be making any impression, to be hurting them, so I
continued. Then I was in a big store with the fiancée and I lost him in it. I
noticed these big washers and dryers and I did some laundry there. There
were all these white towels that fell out of the dryer. I called him on the cell
phone to tell him where I was. Then there was a different scene with a young
girl who had a problem with her parents. I was unable to do anything for her,
but I thought that she needed Arnica. Then there were these geometric
designs against a deep, dark blue background, like a starry night sky, that I
seemed to be manipulating with my finger, as though I had a cursor. They
were small circles joined with lines. Back to the little girl…I ordered food
with her parents in this restaurant. It came and the man complained that
there wasn’t enough meat on his. I gave him 3 slices of ham from my plate to
placate him. #6, Day 3


EXTREMITIES
I woke up around 2:00 a.m. with my left arm over my head. It had gone
completely numb. It was okay after a few minutes back down. Woke up with
the headache again around 3:30 a.m.. I got up to take some more Ibuprofen,
as I could not handle more pain. #6, Day 3


NOSE
I sneezed twice. #6, Day 3


EXTREMITIES
I had a throbbing pain in my left forearm that didn’t last more than 2 to 3
minutes. #6, Day 3


DAY FOUR
COUGH
I experienced the choking, dry cough again around 2:00 p.m. #6, Day 4




                                      155
EXTREMITIES
An odd thing happened after having my computer case on my lap. As I
removed it I had a sharp, burning pain in my right thigh as though I had
received a sharp blow. It stung and smarted for about 5 minutes, taking all of
my concentration. #6, Day 4


MIND
Over lunch, I was feeling that a general discontent that has taken up a great
deal of my thought over the past few months seemed to have past. It was not
replaced with a great satisfaction, but just not feeling uncomfortable with my
circumstances and place in life. #6, Day 4


GENERALITIES
I was sleepy that afternoon 1:30 p.m. – 4:00 p.m.. At 4:30 p.m. #6, Day 4


FOOD AND DRINK
I was craving fruit, intensely. #6, Day 4


DAY FIVE
DREAMS
I did not remember dreams. My husband had some wild ones. I should have
written them down! #6, Day 5


DAY SIX
MIND
I am feeling heavy-hearted and depressed today. I went to check a New Age
church to see if it might be a place where I could sing my songs. I left quite
appalled with the state of their music – bad karaoke quality. They have my
number, but I doubt they’ll call. I was upset when one person I spoke to, the
minister’s husband, said that he could see in my eyes that I am a very
troubled person. This annoyed me! Am I so troubled? I am troubled about the
fate of my songs. I am troubled about how 45 I feel when I think about Erin
and Tony getting married, but I think that this type of “troubled” is
transitory stuff. I am offended to be judged, “troubled!” #6, Day 6
However, I do feel quite sorry for myself and I am wondering if I see myself
as I really am. How different is the way other people see me to the way I see
myself? It’s all quite annoying that I still have these sorts of questions at 45!
Anyway, I’m tired. #6, Day 6


                                       156
RECTUM
More diarrhea today. I’m tired of proving this remedy! #6, Day 6


DREAM
Dream of a car pulling up suddenly and then pulling away. Violence.

Dream of a woman arriving suddenly with about 8 young children in various
carriers carrying them all at once as though she had snatched them quickly
out of a vehicle to save them from danger. #6, Day 6
Dream that I am watching a fish tank with all these added fish. I told my
husband that he really should look after them. I remembered another dream
(from some time in the past year) where a huge fish tank with large, exotic
fish had been left unattended for a very long time. Most of the fish had died or
were eating each other. #6, Day 6
I am watching a nurse watching an old woman waiting for treatment in
Emergency suddenly go into cardiac arrest. She applied some kind of
medicine to try to save the old woman’s life, like she was trying to be heroic,
not because she cared. She was looking for credit for saving someone’s life.
#6, Day 6


DAY SEVEN
GENERALITIES
I have had a long, busy day. My energy is good. I was strong throughout yoga
class. #6, Day 7


RECTUM
Diarrhea again – mostly watery stool. #6, Day 7


DAY EIGHT
RECTUM
Today I had diarrhea and frequent urging of the bowels. I went 6 or 7 times
throughout the day. Also, a lot of gas with the diarrhea: Rumbling and
gurgling in the gut could be heard across the room. #6, Day 8


GENERALITIES
Felt quite tired for most of the day. #6, Day 8


                                       157
MIND
This remedy has violence, a sense of watching as though numb, and sadness
with issues around self-worth. I feel quite unattractive and low-spirited. I
found myself thinking about a young woman putting her infant through the
washer and dryer in my house. I told my supervisor that this was a dream. It
was actually a daydream. I was watching, numb. #6, Day 8


DAY NINE
DREAMS
Dreams last night that I thought I would remember – involving violence –
again I was watching. Later, this morning, I am in a hotel room. I am a
prostitute and I am trying to hide that I am masturbating from 2 children,
both girls, in the room. Orgasm woke me up. #6, Day 9


RECTUM
Still have loose bowels this morning. #6, Day 9


DAY TEN
DREAMS
This dream has speeding across the water, the ocean, in a boat. There is
some report of which is photocopied and in a pile on the counter of a store.
I’m telling it to my youngest daughter’s boyfriend. It is some kind of intrigue,
like a murder. It starts with a discussion of Splenda vs. Stevia. #6, Day 10
Another speeding dream. Something about supplementing my thyroid. The
speeding was back and forth. #6, Day 10


RECTUM
More diarrhea. A normal bowel movement in the morning, followed by a
second within the hour that was very watery. #6, Day 10


DAY ELEVEN
MIND
A miracle has occurred. Last night my oldest daughter went out for coffee
with my ex-husband, father of my youngest daughter, as he was in town for a
rare visit. (Since 1996, this is the third time he has come to visit from 3,000
miles away.) My youngest daughter, my oldest daughter and her fiancée were
also there. She was very nervous about this meeting, but it was one she had

                                      158
requested. My ex-husband was extremely brutal to her from the time his own
child was born in 1986, until I finally left him in 1994. My daughter felt that
she needed to see him, to show him that she has changed. I discouraged it,
but respected her decision to go ahead. During the visit, he congratulated her
on her “impending marriage.” She guided most of the conversation. She
spoke to him directly and was the one that did most of the talking. There was
no confrontation. As she got into the car afterwards, she remembered that he
had sexually abused her. This was something that we suspected, and have
had her in front of many a counselor for the past 10 years +.
 She called me and said that she was so very glad that she had had this
meeting, because she now saw him simply as a fat, old man who tells jokes
that no one gets, and who dresses badly. She saw herself as the powerful one.
I told her that she had always been the powerful one, and that he had been so
horrible to her because she would not give her power to him. She saw who he
was when I did not, and resisted him when I could not. I apologized for being
unable to protect her from him. She said, “In your own convoluted way,
Mom, you raised me to be strong, so thank you. I wouldn’t be who I am today
otherwise.” This was a tremendous release for my guilt-ridden heart. (I
related this story to my supervisor.) #6, Day 11


DREAM
Dream involving a place where I have dreamt a recurring dream involving
deep water. There is no fear in this. This is remarkable, as I have had many
fearful dreams of deep water and I have a lingering fear of deep water in life.
I am just watching. There was some kind of explosion. Later, there was a
woman that I was talking to on my right that was potentially insane,
violently, dangerously at any moment. I just kept talking to her. #6, Day 11


DAY TWELVE
RECTUM
No diarrhea today. A little constipated late in the evening. #6, Day 12


FEMALE
Really good sex with my husband. Not the usual vaginal dryness involving
the need for lubricant. #6, Day 12


DREAMS
I am afraid that I’m going to die. I am watching this and feeling the fear. A
woman bent with carrying a heavy load trudges up to Robert de Niro’s house.
He answers the door and come out onto the doorstep. She complains that e
owes her money. He tries to explain loudly with big arm gestures how

                                      159
“payday works around here.” He has no intention of paying her.



Previously, I am at a store. It’s a “make your own wine” place and I’m
carrying a huge, bright green carboy. I go to the end of the line 3 times. This
doesn’t seem to bother me. #6, Day 12


DAY THIRTEEN
DREAMS
 I am waiting at Customs to cross the border while traveling to New York. All
of my stuff is spread out - pots and pans, survival gear since I plan to stay
there in a tent. I present my documents to a camera rather than to a person.
All of my stuff gets stolen while I’m talking to these two girls, offering them a
spot in my tent. We’re thinking about the weather, wondering if it will be too
hot with three in a small tent. #6, Day 13
Next I am in a borrowed apartment with a playwright with whom I am
working on a creative project. He seems to be doing these short shows for
people with little or no money. I decide to pose nude for a photographer who
is with him. This goes well. The photographer thinks he’s getting a
masterpiece. We agree that the shoot is about two women. The bed linens are
dirty and in disarray. He’s an old man who is surprised to be aroused. He is
pleased with it all, observing the shoot from the other room, sitting with his
legs wide apart, leaning forward, with a huge erection. Then the family that
leases this apartment for the day, comes home. They are part Cree, a single
Mom with 3 or 4 kids. They rent out their place during the day and sleep
there at night. This makes some sense for New York City. At one point I find
two large, yellow stools in the toilet that won’t flush. They have a dark centre.
I eventually get them to flush. In the dream I am intensely proud of my
beauty and the creation of art with it. I annoy myself by putting my clothes
back on in between each shot, causing time to be wasted. The playwright is
drunk and hopeful of an affair with me. #6, Day 13


DAY FOURTEEN
GENERALITIES
Today I went cycling with my husband and one of my sisters. It was a
medium-length trip through the town, but too cold for comfort. I got
extremely cold hands, feet and buttocks. It took me about an hour to warm
up and I was quite dozy for the rest of the day. I had a nap for about 45
minutes, but could have stayed in bed much longer, so tired. Now my face is
quite flushed. I have been warm for some time but I feel the fatigue yet from
this morning’s challenge. #6, Day 14



                                       160
EXTREMITIES
I woke up with a gnawing pain at the base of my tailbone, but further inside
my body. It subsided after about 30 minutes. Very uncomfortable. #6, Day 14


DREAMS
Dreaming about looking so very different – wearing a bad wig. It’s like I am
someone else. I have a different body type. It’s as though I am discovering
that how I portray myself to the world is false. Something about Martin
Scorsese. More about being false. #6, Day 14


DAY FIFTEEN
GENERALITIES
 Having a hard time making it to yoga class this past week. I usually go 4 or 5,
even 6 times per week. Only made it twice. Just tired. Maybe lazy. I am
feeling my age. I have been fighting this for some time. #6, Day 15


MIND
I bought binders to organize my office with. #6, Day 15


RESPIRATION
Chronic asthma, which has been much improved since taking a remedy in
December, has been aggravated. I am back to using an inhaler once or twice a
day. I had not used it in several months prior to the proving. #6, Day 15


DAY SIXTEEN
MIND
Trying to get packed to go to Vancouver this weekend. I have made an
appointment with another channeler at the urging of the first one. I will see
her tomorrow after class. #6, Day 16


DAY SEVENTEEN
MIND
On the way to see the channeler, in the passenger’s seat of my friend’s car, I
found myself being drawn to looking to the right. As I did, we passed the
white house in the dream from the day that I fell on my face. I said, “I just
saw the white house!” She said, “I am so happy for you.”
The channeler is a Native healer. Over dinner with two other friends, I

                                      161
related the story of my dad, of the dream about the cup of blood, of the
process of figuring out who he was, and about my experience contacting my
dad after he had died. #6, Day 17
I wasn’t going to write this one down, but I changed my mind. What’s another
page at this point!
In November of 1995, my father died very suddenly of a massive heart attack.
That evening I had to keep getting up to write down the verses of a song that
tells the story of his life. The chorus is the Serenity Prayer. I became very
concerned that Dad would not be able to make it to the Light, that he would
become stuck in some middle place. I feared this because of the suddenness
of his death and because of his confusion in life. (No religious heavy stuff, like
he wasn’t “saved.” This was a gut feeling.)
A had a friend in Ontario where I was living at the time, whom I knew could
make contact. I asked her to help me. When she found him, she said, ”This is
an impossible place. It is so dark and heavy. There is no light here. There is
nothing we can do.” I insisted that we had to put light in somehow, and I
started to visualize light. She visualized also. She saw that things began to
shift a little, so that Dad was aware of us. He asked, “Where am I?” I told him
that he had died, but that he hadn’t quite gone all the way. He also asked
where I was. I told him that I was still in Ontario, and that I was getting my
friend to help me talk to him. We kept putting light in. He went through a
series of emotions, including grief over how he had not been a good father to
me. I told him that I forgave him for all of that, that it made me strong. He
also made my friend laugh, saying that he was afraid to go into the Light
because he would have to meet his Maker and he had some explaining to do!
As he became aware of the Light, he sad, “You were my angel in my life and
now you’re my angel in my death, I love you.” And he went into the Light
with joy.
This was part of the preamble to my session with the channeler.
The channeler starts with drawing 10 cards. They were: Idol of Drugs, Ego’s
Vicious Attack, Hospitality, Unlearning Creative Story, Positive Dissociation,
Luck, Passion, The Miser’s Shadow, The Pioneer Archetype, Fear of the Next
Step, Rebel Story, Understanding Control, Old Wounds, Compassion,
Contradiction, and The Sun from the Tarot. We worked to let go of all layers
of the Miser’s Shadow, Control, Rebel Stories, the Ego’s Vicious Attack, Idol
of Drugs, Contradiction, Old Wounds and Fear of the Next Step, while
embracing the positive cards.
As she began to work on me, pressing hard on certain points of holding in my
body, the sexual stuff that had come up in the first session with the first
channeler came up. I gave in to the opportunity to heal this, even though I
found it so very hard to say. The process was violent catharsis of emotions
held in me, some of which were mine and some of which were those from my
grandmother that I took into myself by drinking the cup of blood in the
dream. We cleared and forgave the sexual shame that came from my


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grandmother and the conception of my father, through his shame, my shame,
and the shame of my daughters. After, I was in a profound place of peace. I
extended the Light to my family, including my ex-husband in the circle. This
was a 2 1/2 hours session of a magnitude that I had never before experienced.
For all the times I was “unpresent” and not experiencing my life, I became
present and felt everything. At one point I choked and stopped breathing.
After the clearing, I drew 10 cards. They were: The Satyr (The Issue);
Hospitality (Enhancing); The Just (Subconscious); Angels (Conscious); Fear of
Having it All (Old Pattern); The High Priest (New Pattern); Higher
Consciousness (Learning); Living One’s Purpose (Attitude); Breaking Through
(Desire); Outcome (Good Luck Story). #6, Day 17


DAY NINETEEN
FEVER/HEAT
 My face was very flushed all day. On the way home, I felt heat throughout the
middle of my body in waves. I felt the same waves of heat in the cab following
the visit to the fist channeler and again driving home from the airport on
Sunday night. #6, Day 19


MOUTH
Going into the proving I had a fistula on my upper gum on the right side. It is
beside a tooth that has already been treated twice with a root canal. This
fistula has gone down considerably over the course of the proving, as has the
soreness that extends up into my cheekbone. #6, Day 19


MIND
On the way to the Proving Exit Meeting in a different vehicle, different driver,
we passed the white house again. #6, Day 19


DAY TWENTY
MIND
At the beginning of class, Laurie Dack asked if I would come to the front of
the class to tell about the proving. I hesitated for a moment because I was
wondering just how much of this gigantic experience I would share. She
asked if I was shy, and a classmate said that if she knew what I did for a
living, she wouldn’t ask that question, and told her that I am an opera singer.
As soon as she knew this, she asked if I would sing for the class. This really
threw me! I said that I would be pleased to sing, but that I would do it after
the next break so I would have time to gather my thoughts. #6, Day 20
I decided to go ahead and tell my story, difficult as it is. There were many

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tears. Afterward, most of my classmates thanked me for sharing so openly.
Lots of hugs. I was struck by the peaceful look on their faces as they spoke to
me. One woman said that she was going through something similar, and
appreciated hearing my experience. #6, Day 20
As soon as I was asked to sing, I knew what song it would be. I had brought
my binder of my compositions with me this time. Laurie called in the third
year class to hear, too. It was the Aramaic Lord’s Prayer, translation by Neil
Douglas-Klotz:


Oh, Birther, Father, Mother of the Cosmos,
You who create all that move in Light.
Focus your Light within us; Make it useful.
Create your reign of unity now
Through our fiery hearts and willing hands.
Your one desire then acts with ours,
As in all Light so in all forms.
Grant what we need each day in bread and insight.
Loose the cords of mistakes binding us
As we release the strands we hold of others guilt.
Don’t let surface things delude us,
But free us from what holds us back.
From You is born all ruling will, the power and life to do,
The song that beautifies all
From age to age it renews.
Truly power to these statements!
May they be the ground from which all my actions grow.
Sealed in trust and faith. Amen.


POST-PROVING
I told my story to my daughter and my mother. My Mom has had
impressions for the last few weeks that she could not name that were
particularly intense over the weekend. She was relieved to hear the story, the
healing, and the divine order of it and to be able to stop worrying about the
strange impressions. My oldest daughter is going to see the channeler, as she
is going to Vancouver this week for a trade show. I was unable to get her an
early flight on Thursday as originally planned, so she goes a day early and
has a free night. I shouldn’t be surprised! These arrangements were also

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made during the course of the proving!


DAY TWENTY-THREE
I dreamt last night that I was in this house that was decorated in various
shades of brown. My ex-husband was trying to get my attention. He asked me
to “let him move.” I agreed to let him move. #6, Day 23

In the basement of this house we discovered that there was no barrier in this
one place between a pile of human feces and the floor that was covered with
brown carpet. There were two long worms that came slithering out once we
noticed. One was a pale grey colour. The other was thicker, an ivory colour
and segmented. We determined that much of this basement floor would need
to be torn up to clean it all up. My mother was there to help me. #6, Day 23



EXIT NOTES

Revealing and cathartic time that really marks my life. The proving started
when we had the meeting. The remedy in front of me – here we go. I didn’t
want to touch it. The day after my friend told me about this channeler and I
thought I have to go see her. It was very clear. So I saw her that evening. It
started this process that reached its conclusion for me last night. it brought
up something that I hoed was resolved but want’. It was about sexual abuse
in my life that was passed down to me from my father and whoever came
before him and was passed down to my children. We’ve been through all
kinds of counseling and stuff over the last 15 years but this was a time of
deliverance really. I had a lot of dreams that were very violent. I was
punching and kicking my daughter and her fiancée trying to convince them
how bad drinking was. Punching and kicking their faces and it didn’t make
any impression, they didn’t seem to notice, it wasn’t hurting them, it wasn’t
even being registered. Dreams about being in a room with children and…
one of the most striking features for me was this detachment. No matter how
violent these dreams were and how weird stuff going on, I was not involved
emotionally, it was not affecting me. That resonated with this period in my
life during which my daughters were abused by my second husband. I wasn’t
able to do anything b/c I was detached. I wouldn’t have recognized an
alligator if bit me in the ass. I was not affected. I was watching and not
reacting. During this proving my second husband came to visit. This is the
second time since 1996. He comes to visit my youngest daughter who is his
daughter. My oldest daughter was determined that she was going to meet
him for coffee. I said just don’t do it – you’re going to regret it. She said mom
I really have to do this. I said ok. She went and had coffee with him and took
her fiancée and youngest daughter. Mom I am so glad I did that. Because I
realized he’s just a fat old man who wears bad clothes and I don’t have any
reason to be afraid of him. When she got into the car after, she remembered

                                      165
he had sexually molested her. She was released. She’s never been able to
release that. She said mom thanks in your own convoluted way you raised
me to be strong. I brought her into this relationship when she was 2 in which
she was abused and I was unable to protect her. Bad mother. She released
me by saying that. She’s fine, vibrant, happy, strong, nominated for award,
getting married. Her boyfriend proposed to her in my living room in front of
all the family during the proving. When she described this feeling I didn’t
break down, upset. I was reminded of this detached, unpleasant way I lived
for a decade. Last night I went to see a different healer, that the first
channeler said you gotta go see her. I started by telling her about my father.
My father was not who we thought he was. He was born in 1933. His mother
Scottish woman married to son of a bitch Irish. She either had an infidelity or
was raped and my father was 1/2 Cree. He never knew. She never
acknowledged it. He was a product of shame. I took that into my self. I
experienced abuse from my grandfather who was not really his father and my
children experienced abuse. All around sexual shame. Last night the most
emotionally cathartic experience that I have ever. I didn’t think I could weep
so deeply from beyond the depths of my soul, the opposite of detachment.
I’m still feeling quite emotional. No, the residue of the powerful ness of the
experience. I feel released. I feel there was a healing that had to do with the
source of what came through the generations that was this sexual abuse.
Sexual shame. This loss of innocence. For me it represented a shutting down
of my sexuality that I haven’t been able to name as an adult. I thought I
started off on the wrong foot as a teenager I started off trying to do sex.
Contrast between emotional detachment and the incredible release.
Someone violated my children and I did nothing, just watched it. Proving
started on 3rd day of period, normally have migraine, it was up a notch, but
lasted 2 days instead of 3. I had burning sx. I put my briefcase on my right
leg and took it off and had this big circle of burning like I had been whacked.
Distracted me completely. I do a 90 min hot yoga class 5-6 days a week and I
couldn’t . a couple times I did go and ended up laying out on mat for half or
more of the time. In one session I cramped up all the way through my
abdomen. Release. From all this violence. From more than 1 generation. At
least 3 generations. I usually have lines on my forehead (furrowed) – it’s flat.
(curative). I enjoyed the process of being able to relate it to Catherine. I’m
one of those people who thinks I can handle it myself. but this release and
engaging with my dreams and writing them down and remembering and not
just not noticing, it was part of the release that I feel.
Supervisor: She fell flat on her face the day after the entrance meeting. Out of
the blue walking with friends at school. She was thinking of a dream at the
very instant that she fell.
Yesterday and today – this dream I was thinking about when I fell – in the
dream I had the money to buy 2 different houses, one was green house,
attached to the house, it was living, shining green, it was beautiful. In it was
my father and a pipe organ which refers to my current husband who is also
the father of my first child. But there was this white house with columns that

                                      166
I really wanted and I started to walk towards it and the road beneath my feet
began to crumble. I thought that house is not ready so I’m going to buy the
green house. Supervisor – dream she had 12 years previous. Not only that I
drove by that white house yesterday and today. A white house with columns.
Intense violence in dreams, fast pace, danger, impending danger, not being
able to help. So much moving forward, wow, really fast. Resolution about
past pain. Didn’t feel mired in her grief. The proving was a lot like a roller
coaster for her. Cathartic. Bowel sx – looseness. Watery. And frequency.
One day 6-7 times. 2 dreams of bowel movements. 1 2-1/2 feet long and very
yellow. Somebody obviously couldn’t flush it. Another dream – it was like
petals in the toilet bowl with dark brown center. Bowel affinity. Right sided
sx. Almost bruised sensation. Also in dream – of daughter in restaurant,
knew she was in danger form parents and in dream felt needed to give her
arnica, she was bruised. Another - Woman put her child through washer and
dryer and she just watched, detached. Woke up horrified. Heat aggravate
her during the yoga.
Tried bryonia for the headache. Didn’t work. Advil didn’t work. Aggravated
by smell of meat (new). Normally like meat – o blood type. Dream – 2
women who lead a cloistered life. One met a lover. Edward love. The walls
were pulsating with their lovemaking. Juxtaposition of the woman’s life
before and after was so opposite, so apparent. Dream – there was change
geometric designs in space that I seem to be manipulating, circles, lines,
wonder that I could move these things around, could change the shape of
these lines. Like I could .. cursor but not at computer. … so more
compressed. Deep dark blue.




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PROVER NUMBER SEVEN
DAY THREE
DREAMS
There is a big fire set very close to our country house (back home in Russia). I
was trying to extinguish the fire so it wouldn’t get to the house. I was at a
family gathering with parents, aunt, uncle and cousins at the country house.
#7, Day 3


MOUTH
Tongue coated with a yellow, mustard-like colour. #7, Day 3


STOMACH
Nausea on waking at 6:00 a.m. followed by vomiting of partially digested food
from dinner the night before. Nausea accompanied by waves of heat in the
body and sweating. Felt like an acute food poisoning. #7, Day 3


STOOL
Loose stool after vomiting. #7, Day 3



FEMALE

Menstrual pain on waking with a pulling down sensation. #7, Day 3



DAY SEVEN

GENERAL

At 10:00 a.m. I started to feel uneasiness, muscles a little achy and a
heaviness in the body, as though I’m coming down with something. #7, Day 7



HEAD

Pain in occiput on jarring head. #7, Day 7

Sensation as if head is packed with cotton, particularly in the occiput.
#7, Day 7


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BACK

Shivering sensation in the back between the shoulder blades and up to the
neck. #7, Day 7



DAY NINETEEN

DREAMS

My daughter, husband and I were at our country house back in Russia, riding
our bicycles to a nearby lake. It was a joyful feeling. #7, Day 19



EXIT NOTES

Remedy didn’t affect me at all or almost at all. Emotionally for sure it didn’t,
I was stable as a rock. Physically. Period first day after taking remedy.
nausea, vomit, diarrhea, menstrual pain – I never had menstrual pain. 6:30
am – 10am never came back. Dreamt of family house, someone put a fire
close to the house – fear. I bumped into the garage door at our house with car
from inside.
Super visor: the word “heavy” used a lot. Tiredness, heaviness, exhaustion.
No energy. Menstrual pain described as pulling down. Like a broken down
feeling. Felt tired. Let me alone, don’t touch me, just let me sit alone quiet. I
felt I’m annoying her, irritating her.




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PROVER NUMBER EIGHT
DAY ONE
MIND
Feeling more excited and nervous than usual during the children’s
programme at work. #8, Day 1
In the staff room I had a sense of disassociation. I felt disconnected, removed
from things, almost like I wasn’t even there. Not relating to coworker as I
usually do. #8, Day 1


NOSE
Nose bleeding in the shower. #8, Day 1


FEMALE
Menses came two days early. #8, Day 1


RECTUM
Hemorrhoids bled more than usual during menses. #8, Day 1


BACK
Lumbar pain from 3:00 p.m. until bedtime. #8, Day 1


EXTREMITIES
Legs felt swollen. #8, Day 1


GENERAL
There was an overall feeling of blood expanding, even bursting in my body.
My legs felt heavy and swollen and arms felt like the blood was heavy with
pressure building throughout my body. More tired than usual after work with
a heavy, swollen feeling. #8, Day 1




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DAY TWO
DREAMS
When trying to remember dreams, the only thing that came to mind was bits
of ideas, nothing coming together to form any kind of thought process.
Everything was disjointed; nothing was able to fit together. #8, Day 2
A dream about food and material possessions: I was at a party with a huge
buffet and it was mostly gone by the time I got there. All I got was bread and
cheese. Then, we did not check out of our hotel in time, our possessions left
in the room that the next guests were already occupying. I could not retrieve
all of our possessions. It kept going on and on, getting some of them back,
but always more to retrieve. #8, Day 2


HEAD
A dull headache over my right eye around 9:00 a.m.. After a nap at 1:30 pm., it
moved to the middle on the right side. By the end of the day, it had diffused to
just the right side. It was a pressing pain. #8, Day 2


EXTREMITIES
Legs fell swollen and puffy, although they don’t look it. My left hip joint at the
top of the femur is uncomfortable. This comes and goes between 3:00 p.m.
and 11:00 p.m.. #8, Day 2
Walking slowly because legs hurt. #8, Day 2


EYES
Very sensitive to light around 4:30 p.m.. Though the sky was overcast, my
eyes hurt as I was driving. I was squinting and putting down the visor to
reduce the light. #8, Day 2


MIND
Thought that what is happening to me is an expansion, an opening up of my
mind and body. The body is bursting and expanding with blood and my mind
was also opening. I wanted to talk, express all of the thoughts that were
bursting forth. Yesterday I was excited and wanted to talk about my ideas
and feelings. By the time I got home I was tired and sluggish. I was supposed
to call my supervisor, but really didn’t want to talk to her. I slept from 11:30
a.m. until 1:00 p.m..
My kids told me that after I made lunch, I put the cheese back in the
refrigerator without any covering. I had no recollection of this and found it
embarassing. #8, Day 2


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Spaced out, not there, mind wandering, hard to focus, distracted. #8, Day 2


GENERAL
Tired and sluggish. Daughter said, “Oh, my God, what’s wrong with you? Are
you sick?”#8, Day 2
My daughter received a bottle of bright green camphor-mint liquid from
Taiwan and was reading about what it can be used for. I didn’t want to get
too close to it after just taking the remedy. My granddaughter wanted me to
take it, repeating, “Grandma needs it, Grandma needs it!” She had quite a
tantrum about it and did not want to come to me. This was unusual behavior
for her. #8, Day 2



DAY THREE
DREAMS
I cannot remember my dreams. This unusual for me. #8, Day 3


EXTREMITIES
The swollen feeling in my legs is beginning to recede. Still some puffiness in
the lower part of the legs. #8, Day 3


MIND
I feel as if the ride is over; all the excitement has gone and I have come back.
Life is continuing as normal and my head is clear. #8, Day 3


BACK
Lumbar pain continues. #8, Day 3


DAY FOUR
EXTREMITIES
Swollen feeling in legs is now just from my knees downward. #8, Day 4




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BACK
Lumbar pain not as bad as the past few days. #8, Day 4


DAY FIVE
MIND


I feel normal, though someone at work said that I look like someone whose
mind is elsewhere. #8, Day 5


ABDOMEN
Dull pain on the left side just under the ribs in the evening 6:00 p.m. to 9:00
p.m.. #8, Day 5


HEAD
I fell asleep on the couch sitting up with my head bent to the left, leaning
against the couch around 10:00 p.m.. I woke up with a rushing water sound on
the left side of my head around the ear. It was a swooshing, pulsing feeling
and my left eye was watering a lot. I went back to sleep in the same position,
and it happened a second time. I decided to lay down on the couch as I was
afraid that I was going to die of a stroke. #8, Day 5


DAY SIX
DREAMS
We were living in a very small house and my seven-year-old was sleeping on
a mattress on a board over the bathtub. The board had slipped off and he had
fallen into the tub, which had about a foot of water in it. I came into the room
to check on him to find that he was under the water, which was a brownish
colour. I could see his face under the water with his mouth open. I was scared
and grabbed him, but as he was moving I wasn’t really worried. I should have
been terrified! I woke up coughing, trying to catch my breath, with the feeling
of suffocation. The next part of the dream was me in the room with him when
he was awake and playing. I picked up two little toy trucks and put them in
the TV and a Beatles video came on. I was dancing and happy. #8, Day 6


EXTREMITIES
Shooting pains in the left calf extending up to the knee. This happened
around 3:30 p.m.. and lasted for about 10 minutes. The pains came
intermittently while walking, causing me to stumble. #8, Day 6


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EYES
At 11:30 p.m.. while watching a movie my left eye started watering profusely
for abut a minute. #8, Day 6


ABDOMEN
Same dull pain of the left side under the ribs at 9:00 p.m.. #8, Day 6


DAY EIGHT
MIND
I left my purse in my unlocked car for about an hour, something I would
never do. #8, Day 8


DAY NINE
DREAMS
Frustrating as this seems blocked. The dreams are not letting me remember
what they are! #8, Day 9


DAY FOURTEEN
DREAMS
I went to a conference with lots of people. The person who was supposed to
talk had to leave for a bit. The food was supposed to be served but there was
nothing there but tofu. Everyone started to leave. I could not find my car.
They took my car at the hotel and I could not find any of my things. There
was an Oriental lady, maybe the speaker, who took everything while we were
waiting for her to come back. She left behind drawers and cupboards full of
fancy, smelly, expensive soaps. #8, Day 14


DAY SEVENTEEN
DREAMS
My son had not come home from work and it was already 7:30 a.m.. I was
outside the house when two vehicles drove up. A man got out with a gun and
demanded to know where his daughter was. I had no idea who he or his
daughter was. I asked him what she looked like and he sad, “portage.” I said
I didn’t understand what that was, but he didn’t explain further. They left and
after awhile I was talking to a young woman who was half Chinese. The men
came back and when she saw them she ran into the bushes. My son had also
arrived home before the men returned and I figured out that the young
woman was my son’s girlfriend and that her father was not happy about this


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fact. My son ran into the house and hid. From this point on he was sometimes
my brother. The main part of the dream was these people, who grew in
number to be quite a few, hunting in the house, which was huge in the dream,
for my son/brother. They found out that we were lying to them. There was a
lot of chasing. #8, Day 17


DAY EIGHTEEN
MIND
Irritated. #8, Day 18


RECTUM
Constipated. #8, Day 18


STOOL
Like little rabbit pellets. #8, Day 5


CHEST
Breasts swollen and very tender. #8, Day 16 – 20


EXIT NOTES
Disconnected. I couldn’t connect to my dreams, I couldn’t access them. I
was getting fragments, a word, a sentence, things weren’t coming together.
Next day walked into staff room almost like out of body experience. I wasn’t
there in the room. Got my period the same day. Feelings of swelling and
blood bursting. Heavy in my legs. Bleeding, bursting blood. Cut on nose.
Hemorrhoid bleeding. Excited and happy, giddy almost. 3rd day I said, I feel
like the ride is over. 2nd day right sided headache. Legs heavy. Right eye
started to run, tearing for about a minute. Kind of absent minded. Left my
purse in the car unlocked. Put cheese in fridge all weird. Like I wasn’t there.
and I had no recollection. I didn’t believe them like I wouldn’t do that.
Somebody else doing it.
Supervisor - she was all hyper fist day – moving her hands, hyper. All
excited. Really frustrated that she couldn’t remember dreams. Normally has
a dream every day. Remember 1 word, or 1 sentence. Bleeding. Puffiness,
swelling, blood bursting, expansion, swelling, not connected, not coming
together, dissociated. Not relating to other people. Normally would hug, but
felt distant and different. Tired, heavy, eyes felt heavy, puffy. Did not
connect. Spaced out. Distracted. Mind wandering, not there, thinking about
other things. Talked a lot about it’s boring, nothing’s happening, no dreams,


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mind is blank, can’t remember. 4th day felt normal like I have returned
home. I tried to phone her and she was avoiding me. Her eye just start to
run. Nothing’s happening, everything’s boring. Woke up coughing,
suffocating – I wasn’t worried. Ok talking to other people but family was
annoying. Dreams like it’s blocked, I cant’ access them. Dream – 1 word – it
was “urine”. What could it mean - oh – I have to go to the bathroom. Dream
she felt deceived, lied to, they were taking her stuff. Lower back better. We
got together, I couldn’t stop laughing. There was not really a reason to laugh.




PROVER NUMBER NINE
DAY ONE
DREAMS


A sixteen-year-old girl has had a baby. I’m shocked and sad. The baby talk,
says, “Food.” The girl is trying to nurse, the baby is frustrated, can’t latch on.
A nurse shows the girl how to breastfeed by sucking on the girl’s nipple.
#9, Day 1
I am loading a three-ton truck with recyclables to take off the island. I can’t
finish on time to catch the last ferry off the island before dark. I am trying to
figure out how to back the truck up in the dark. I can’t see clearly, and am
uncertain if I should go off island in the dark, go back to the school/tax centre.
#9, Day 1
I am playing volleyball, There’s a cute, young guy. I brush against his arm so
he will notice me. I’m feeling that he won’t notice me, he’s too cute. I’m
getting old and not so attractive, not so independent, capable. #9, Day 1
A bamboo or marijuana plant at the back door bursts into flames. #9, Day 1


MIND
Woke up thinking of the murder/suicide in Airdrie. I shouldn’t read the paper.
#9, Day 1
Feeling overwhelmed with a busy day of meetings, appointments and driving.
Handled it well. Too much to do and need another job to get more money.
#9, Day 1
I lost the office key, had to tell the boss, then found it in the office. I stayed
strong. #9, Day 1
ABDOMEN


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Achy pain across the abdomen. #9, Day 1


EXTREMITIES
Big toe on the left foot stiff and achy on waking. #9, Day 1


SLEEP
Sleep was very deep. #9, Day 1


COUGH
Woke up an hour before rising to cough up mucous. #9, Day 1


DAY TWO
GENERAL


Lying in bed after taking the remedy, the entire body began to feel electrified,
humming, buzzing, like electricity running and pulsing throughout the entire
body from the centre outwards to the extremities. Electric energy seemed to
intensity and build in the extremities, the ends of the toes and fingers, then
moving back to the centre where it diminished in intensity. The intensity of
moving energy is most noticeable up the left leg, outside of the left calf, below
the left knee. Hands feel excited. This first came on as a huge rush and then
afterwards in rhythmic waves lasting for what seemed like a few minutes.
The slowed to a resting point, then built up again like the contractions of
labour in childbirth. I dozed off between each wave, then as the next wave
built it would wake me, electrifying my brain and mind. This seemed to go on
for an hour or two. I had the feeling of being stuck in the bed, lying down, not
able to get up if I really wanted to. Then I fell asleep. #9, Day 2


HEAD
Head feels wild, wide awake. The energy feels like a wind blowing inside my
head, like an eddy. #9, Day 2


EYES
My eyes feel pulled back in my head, as if rolling backwards and upwards in
their sockets. #9, Day 2


ABDOMEN


                                       177
I awoke early in the morning to the sensation of a pinpoint of stinging, then
itching, a pain in one spot on the right side of the abdomen just below the
ribcage. #9, Day 2
There is a line of pressure across the middle of the abdomen from one side to
the other, as if a string was being pressed inward and downward and pulled
just above the naval. This pain was aching and sometimes burning. #9, Day 2


DAY THREE
DREAMS
I was camping outside of town with a lot of people I didn’t know. I awoke in
the morning and found that everyone was leaving. The mess had to be
cleaned up. I felt resentful towards the people who left and didn’t; help with
the cleanup. A few men stayed behind. I asked them to clean up the broken
glass and an old dresser that was too heavy for me to move by myself. There
was a woman and a man over in the corner by the “pantry” who were trying
to clean up some ants. Someone had put down liquid borax and it was very
sticky. They were trying to gather ants in a tissue and it was a sticky mess.
#9, Day 3


SKIN
At one point in the night I became that my skin was amazingly soft. I was
running my hands all over my body. It was soft, like a baby. #9, Day 3


MIND
I had the sensation of becoming smaller and fading away, then growing
larger and back to normal size. #9, Day 3


GENERAL
On wakening, I felt a faint feeling of the electric energy, then it faded away.
#9, Day 3


EXTREMITIES
A sensation of pinpoints of stinging pain, coming and going, also itchy in
these areas, one of which was the left shoulder. #9, Day 3




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DAY FOUR
MIND


Awoke feeling refreshed, clear, alert, more aware, centred and strong.
#9, Day 4
Missing less details at work. #9, Day 4
Boss handed me a contract for me to practice homeopathy in his clinic. One
client booked for Friday. The lawyer says that it’s a conflict of interest to
answer the phones and also be in competition with the doctor for patients.
The contract is onerous and not recommended. #9, Day 4


NOSE
Nose is stuffed up. #9, Day 4


THROAT
Throat is sore. #9, Day 4


SKIN
Itchy, especially in one spot between the shoulder blades. Scratching feels
delicious. #9, Day 4


DREAMS
An acquaintance in a big house. There are baby pigs inside the house, one in a
birdcage with a blue budgie. The budgie is freaked, has a heart attack and
dies. There are lots of people, like a party. The pig gets out of the house. He is
at the front door. The pig has a red coat on and piddles at the front door. A
man comes to the door in bare feet and barely misses stepping in the pig’s
urine. #9, Day 4


DAY FIVE
MIND
Cancelled client for Friday and feeling clear not to sign the contract to
practice in this doctor’s clinic because of the onerous non-competition clause.
I communicated clearly and strongly. H tried to find dault with me. I told him
I’d only received the contract yesterday and dealt with it immediately. He is
angry because I’m in his newsletter. I’m not intimidated in the least by him. I
feel so clear and strong. I have no doubts. Now I want to leave his


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employment and I am sure about this. This has been trying to happen for a
long time, but I haven’t felt strong and clear enough. #9, Day 5


GENERAL
Very energetic on all levels. #9, Day 5


DAY ELEVEN
VOICE
Voice has changed – very deep and raspy, breaking. I have to push hard to get
my voice out. Seem to have a virus. #9, Day 11


EXPECTORATION
Green and yellow mucous. #9, Day 11


COUGH
Four to six bronchial coughing spasms. #9, Day 11


DAY TWELVE
GENERAL
Ever since the surge of electric energy at the start of the proving, life has been
a whirlwind. Everything has been speeding so fast. No time to journal.
#9, Day 12


MIND
Old job feels abusive and disrespectful to me. The pay was too low and
expectations and responsibilities too high. Have had enough of the boss’s
blaming nature. My partner will be away to finish his teaching degree. I need
a stable job with benefits and some security and we have to move to less
expensive housing for this time. Seems like everything is coming into focus
since the remedy. What needs to be done seems to be clearer. #9, Day 12


HEAD
The odd pain, aching, on the left side of the head at 6:30 p.m. for 1 or 2
minutes. #9, Day 17




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DAY NINETEEN
SKIN
I awoke with an intense return of an old symptom: the skin surface is
intensely itchy on my left forearm. I cannot stop scratching until the skin
breaks and begins to bleed. Warm water helps. This continues on and off
throughout the day. #9, Day 4


DAY TWENTY-ONE
DREAMS
I have lots of money. I’m busy buying drugs – cocaine and heroin and I’m
meeting with people. I feel a need to hide, to sneak around. Authorities spot
me and begin to question me. I was with others, but they disappear when the
cops arrive. This is all very public. My step-son is watching from within the
crowd. He seems to be enjoying my discomfort and humiliation. He sits
down and watches with a smile on his face. The authorities decide to take me
somewhere. It’s a very long trek on foot. We come across a body of water that
we have to cross. I’m with my step-son and we cross first, using large stones
in the difficult places. The tide comes in very fast, leaving the authorities
behind, and we are not able to go back. We go to visit some friends in a
cottage with a dog. The dog is very smart, but it has a very bad behaviour
problem of urinating on everything. It is so spoiled, allowed to be
everywhere, even on the table. It urinated on the lace tablecloth. I feel
disgusted and pissed off. After awhile, the authorities catch up with us and
take me away for further questioning. They take me to a very large house. On
the way there I feel quite free walking down the road. They are not watching
me very closely and I am enjoying the countryside. Even when we arrive, the
house is quite luxurious, more like a hotel than a jail. #8, Day 21


MIND
I have felt almost propelled through my days, sometimes at such an
enormous intensity and fast pace that I have felt as though I just barely have
time to finish one task or activity before moving on to the next task at hand.
This is a good feeling of finally getting to take care of some things and
situations that have been hanging over me for much too long. I have been
frustrated and blocked for some time, fears of my husband leaving for BC for
a year to complete his degree. I have been feeling the pressure of having to
carry the family financially and practically. This had me feeling fearful and
stuck. After taking the second dose of the remedy, the stuckness began
feeling pushed aside by the forward motion of the remedy. This forward
motion has been very strong and steady, like a steam locomotive picking up
speed. I have hardly looked back since then. #9, Day 21




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FACE
One cold sore after the other throughout the proving. #9, Day 1-21



PROVER NUMBER TEN
DAY ONE
DREAMS
Visions like in a mine of chunks of gold and copper, like a big rock. It was
actually outside of a mine, which looked like a cave, then off to the right of the
mine was a big, gold-coloured rock. #10, Day 1
A rich man has given me and my husband a role of cash and some blank
cheques. One of the cheques, a yellow-vanilla colour, has “unlimited” written
on it, stamped in large, red letters. My husband says he feels somewhat
prostituted and I disagree. I ask him if this man wants anything and he says
no. The feeling was of unlimited resources. It was a big wad of cash. The
money was brightly coloured – the 50s were bright red, and the other money
was green. He is a small dark man with a goatee. I think this guy is like a
fairy godfather. #10, Day 1
Then I am at my mother’s house. My mother’s kitchen sink is broken down,
falling apart and the pipes are leaking. I try in vain to turn the water source
off. Eventually I manage to bring it down to a slow trickle. This was an
“unsuccessful effort” dream like I’ve had before but with a different quality –
I would turn the tap one way and that didn’t help, then the other way, then to
the centre, trying to stop the flow the mess. It had to be dealt with. Then I
was hoping the little rich man would fancy my mother and take care if her
and maybe I won’t have to do it. #10, Day 1


MIND
I want to be alone. My mother asked me for help with paperwork and I felt
really resistant to help her. I was quite annoyed and had to remind myself to
go with the flow. This scenario is common for us. My level of resistance was
different. The feeling of “just leave me alone” is strong. I don’t want anyone
to ask me for anything today. I feel used up, spent. At 6:30 pm. I go to bed to
be quiet and alone, though I am not adverse to my daughter’s company.
#10, Day 1


CHEST
Aching on the right side of the right breast. This used to come on when angry.
#10, Day 1



                                       182
BACK
Sore shoulder – trapezius muscles tight and heavy feeling, burdened, like a
weight on them, on the right side. This is familiar, but much worse.
#10, Day 1


EXTREMITIES
Gluteus muscles are very tight and sore, like if I’d worked out, more on the
right side. #10, Day 1


SLEEP
A super-heavy, dead sleep, thick and heavy, very nice. This sleep was deeper
than normal. Feel fine on waking. #10, Day 1


NOSE
Mildly congested in the morning. #10, Day 1


DAY TWO
DREAMS
I dreamt about leprechauns, even spelled it right half-sleep, though I can’t
think of how to spell is today. #10, Day 2
Nightmare about a devil-possessed cat. It was moving quickly. I had to put it
outside. I was scared of the cat. (This prover is scared of her cat, and during
the pre-proving interview, the cat kept trying to bite her.) #10, Day 2
Dream of a light-skinned, blonde girl vampire with blood dripping out of the
side of her mouth. #10, Day 2


HEAD
Intense pain in the occiput on the left isde, pressing and pulsating pain,
better with pressure. #10, Day 2


BACK
Intense pain in the shoulders with heaviness, like I’m carrying someone. This
is worse than ever. #10, Day 2




                                      183
MIND
Avoiding people, wanting to be alone. However, the most demanding patient
called me today and I was fine with her. Usually she annoys and amuses me.
#10, Day 2
In a deli I picked up a glass container and got a shard of glass stuck in my
finger. I pulled it out and it bled, was still bleeding when I went to the
cashier. I licked off the blood and was reminded of the vampire dream. I said
to my friend, “Hey, I’m a vampire!” #10, Day 2


DAY THREE
MIND
I went for tea with a good friend this morning. The usual dynamic with her is
she talks and I listen. Today was quite different as I found myself telling her
more about myself. I talked about past issues and things I had done that I
was not proud of. I talked about past hurts and felt open, like a previous
barrier was gone. I felt relived. This same friend called me up later and sad,
“I don’t know why but I feel you’re the one I need to talk to. You’re the one
who may be able to help me in some way.” I said, “Sure, okay,” without
hesitation. I felt that I wanted to take care of her in some way. #10, Day 3
In general, I am more open. I used to feel that giving out too much
information about myself could somehow be used against me. Now it feels as
if this all doesn’t matter somehow. #10, Day 3
A friend from my past recently contacted me and we got together. I hadn’t
spent any time with her for over three years. I had felt angry with her, feeling
that she had not “sided” with me when I felt that I had been done wrong by
another friend. On seeing her, I felt a huge heart opening and any bad
feelings I had had resolved themselves. She is going through a hard time and
I felt genuinely compassionate. #10, Day 3


DAY FOUR
DREAMS


My husband, daughter, and I are visiting our friends in Calgary. They live in a
big house and have many guests visiting from Holland. Our friend is trying to
be a good host, but I notice that he is sick and feverish. I’m trying to talk him
into getting himself to bed where he can be taken care of. He is in rough
shape and is sweating heavily. I feel bad that he’s that ill and still wants to
take care of us. #10, Day 4




                                      184
MIND
Feeling much more open to social contacts. I didn’t realize how closed I was
until I started being open. Even the various people I see throughout the day.
With people I knew, I wouldn’t call them up to do something. Now people are
calling me up do to something more than usual and I’m going out and doing a
lot more. I’m feeling more open about doing things and feeling better about
the social contact. It’s like a barrier is gone and I didn’t know it was there.
#10, Day 4
We had a flood today. Some pipes burst and the downstairs suite filled with
water. I dealt with it and felt, “I’m a grownup!” I felt efficient and capable. I
would have been overwhelmed before. #10, Day 4


GENERAL
Eating lots of soup. #10, Day 4
Going to bed very early. So tired and too sleepy to read. #10, Day 4


DAY FIVE
DREAMS
A friend has come to visit from overseas. He is with an ex-girlfriend. I wonder
why he wants to be with her again as she is not very nice to him and not
attractive. I feel that he is “selling out” because he is lonely. #10, Day 5


MIND
Aware of synchronicities: daughter asked, “Do you remember the sesame
Street song you used to sing?” and then it came on the radio; husband heard
me say “the taps are bleeding,” instead of the taps are leaking, referring back
to the vampire dream. A few dreams I’ve had have come true, though I can’t
mention them without breaking confidence. #10, Day 5
Children are more receptive to me. One my Mom baby-sits crawled up on my
lap and caressed by face. Everyone is kind to me, making me feel like they’re
showering me with nice feelings, like overflow. When I walk in the kids are
all over me. The woman that’s doing the restoration said, “Don’t worry, leave
it all up to us!” When she first came in she was talking to me like we’re old
friends. The workers cleaning up after the flood have gone above and beyond
their duty. I felt taken care of. #10, Day 5
My daughter woke me by stroking my hair and caressing my face, telling me
how much she loves me. This felt genuine and it occurred to me how much
she really loves me. #10, Day 5




                                       185
GENERAL
My husband commented that I must be feeling warmer. I turned the furnace
off a few days ago. He said it was freezing in the house, and he’s usually the
warm-blooded one. After this I realized that I’ve been wearing my tank top
for the past few days. #10, Day 5
I went to bed early again, at 7:45 p.m.. So tired. Fell asleep right away.
#10, Day 5
Had soup for breakfast. #10, Day 5


DAY SIX
DREAMS
Dream of old friend from high school. #10, Day 6


DAY SEVEN
DREAMS
Dreamt of people who were actually robots. I woke up frightened. #10, Day 7


MIND
Everything is going so smoothly for me. I feel loved, valued, appreciated and
cared for. In turn, I feel more receptive and giving. #10, Day 7


DAY EIGHT
MIND
I have a strong liking for turquoise. I want to buy turquoise clothing. Picking
out turquoise paint chips, my husband says we’ll wait until the proving is
over to choose the new paint. #10, Day 8
I am feeling a deep love for my family, deeper than ever before. This type of
love wants nothing, which seems odd, because in this wanting nothing, I feel
that I have everything. #10, Day 8
I talked with a long distance friend this morning. I felt connected and
completely at ease and grateful for the friendship. #10, Day 8
I am much more able to relax, less uptight about things. Blissed out.
#10, Day 8




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DAY NINE
DREAMS
Recurrence of an old dream of driving uphill, the hill inclines more and more,
then I can’t see what’s on the other side and it becomes a drop off, followed
by a steep decline. I get more and more freaked out because I’m afraid of
heights. The asphalt is crumbly and broken up, more rigid, black and grey.
The wheel were just coming over the edge of the top, then I couldn’t see what
was on the other side. The asphalt was different but the feeling was the same.
#10, Day 9


DAY TEN
MIND
Driving with my daughter today, she spontaneously said, “You know, Mom,
you’re really nice and very loveable.” She’s never said anything like that to
me before. She has continued to be openly loving towards me. In the evening,
she put her arms around me and said, “I don’t know why, but I just feel so
much love for you.” #10, Day 10
Feeling deeply peaceful, no strong desire for anything. #10, Day 10
The cat hasn’t bitten me or scratched me since the start of the proving. He is
bugging me less. . (This prover is scared of her cat, and during the pre-
proving interview, the cat kept trying to bite her.) #10, Day 10


EXTREMITIES
Pain in my left shoulder, in a small spot, like a quarter on the front. Woke up
with it and it dissipated in an hour. #10, Day 10


DAY ELEVEN
DREAMS
I dream that I am a prostitute. I am in a hotel room entertaining Japanese
men. There are one or two other girls with me. I wonder if I can make a living
doing this. In the same hotel I am waiting for the elevator. When it stops on
my floor and opens, I notice that it is very small and there is a very large man
in it already. He doesn’t want to get cramped in it, so he presses the close
button. I want to get on it so I stick my arm in the closing doors and pry them
back open. He gives me a dirty look. #10, Day 11
My brother purchased a large home and I am trying to figure out where he
got the funds for it. #10, Day 11




                                      187
I am walking barefoot in the snow. #10, Day 11


SLEEP
I fell asleep outside on the patio around 1:00 p.m.. I’ve felt sleepy at this time
on numerous occasions during the proving. #10, Day 11


GENERAL
Craving soup. #10, Day 11


DAY TWELVE
DREAMS
I was smoking and really enjoying it. (I am a non-smoker.) #10, Day 12


SLEEP
Very sleepy at 2:00 p.m. and fell asleep at 2:30 p.m.. Felt that I could have
slept until morning, but got myself up after about an hour or so. Still sleepy
at 5:00 p.m.. Feeling blessed out and overly-relaxed. #10, Day 12


GENERAL
Had soup for lunch and dinner. #10, Day 12


DAY FOURTEEN
DREAMS
Dreamt I was with the singer, “Sting” and we were discussing spiritual ideas
(sexual). His house was cliff-side looking over the ocean. It was very nice and
I was enjoying myself. #10, Day 14


FACE
Face feels hot and flushed and my cheeks are bright red. I feel feverish. The
flushed cheeks have been on and off for the past few days, but I noticed it
more today as it is quite obvious. Took my temperature and it was only
slightly elevated. #10, Day 12




                                       188
GENERAL
Had soup for lunch. I’ve had soup every day and wouldn’t have noticed had
my husband not mentioned it. #10, Day 14


DAY FIFTEEN
DREAMS
I’m meeting with a friend I haven’t seen in awhile. He has asked me to come
and meet him in his classroom (he’s a teacher). On seeing him I am overcome
with a tender, loving feeling. I walk up to the front of the classroom and we
hug. We stay in this embrace for a very long time and I have the sensation
that our bodies are merging and I am losing the sense of distinction between
us. It is an incredibly pleasant experience. #10, Day 15
I dreamt that someone was having a heart attack. I have dream this before
because of my father having had a heart attack. This time, however, I noticed
that this person was having a heart attack. I called out to my husband for
help. Everything ran efficiently. Usually in this dream there is something I
can’t get to. This time, systematically in my head I know what to do. I’m
super strong. He’s lying on the floor. I pick him up and carry him to the front.
I lay him down and unbutton his shirt and realized that he’s having an
allergic reaction – red hives, small dots of bright red. I see that his skin is all
bumpy and it’s not a heart attack. Everything ran smoothly. In the life
situation and in previous dreams like this I never manage to get help in time.
In this dream, I was even planning ahead. I was just doing my job and doing
it well, feeling completely competent. #10, Day 15


MIND
I went to pick out paint colours. Under the fluorescent lights with so much
choice, I felt disoriented, confused, dizzy, and nauseous, had the sweats and
had to step away from everything. I couldn’t take so much stimulation. It
really threw me. I thought I was going to be sick to my stomach and I just
wanted to go home to bed. I composed myself and then went back to finish
the job. The nausea that starts in the back of my head I have had before, but
I’ve never been so worked up over paint colours. #10, Day 15
I feel more understanding towards my mother. I realize that even though we
have different outlooks, she has strong religious ideas, deep down we are
really the same. On a fundamental level I saw more similarities than
differences. It is simply the expressions that are different. #10, Day 15


FEMALE
Period clotty this month. #10, Day 15



                                        189
FACE
Pimples on my chin. #10, Day 15


CHEST
I am very aware of my heart beating, especially when laying down on the left
side. Even now, as I’m talking to you, I’m aware that it’s beating stronger.
The beat feels harder, stronger, not racing. I can almost feel it in my throat. I
used to get heart palpitations in meditation. #10, Day 15


DAY SIXTEEN
DREAMS
I am with the Indian spiritual master, H.W.L. Poonja. Devotees surround him
but I can still see him. He is smiling and wearing a garland of flowers, and his
forehead has a red streak painted on it. He is dancing in celebration of
something. The room is filled with joy. Though I am at a bit of a distance, I
feel very connected to him. There is joyfulness with an internal sense of ease.
This joy has no limit. It is pure joy. My daughter and I are in India staying at
Ramana ashram. The surroundings are not like I expected, but lively. There
are many people around and they are in a celebratory mood. My daughter
and I walk into a shop where sweets are sold. The display is beautifully laid
out. We look but don’t buy anything. My daughter asks the cashier if she can
exchange her $50 for Indian money. #10, Day 16


MIND
My daughter said today, “Have you noticed how whenever we say anything
lately it happens?” Many little synchronicities. For example, she will ask
about someone we haven’t seen in years and then we’ll see them on the
street. #10, Day 16


DAY EIGHTEEN
DREAMS
I had a dream of a woman in a place that looks like the turn of the century. It
could be a brothel. She is up to something, bringing one man out the back
door and trying to get one in the front door. She’s also trying to drug another
man by putting powder in his tea. I am taking a drugged man and putting
him away for this woman. I’m wearing a Victorian nightgown. The woman is
making it appear that she’s drinking the same thing as the drugged man is
drinking. I don’t know for what purpose. She told me, “Just take this one and
put him into another room.” So, I did. I was just watching this go on, like a
movie. I was curious as to why the men are coming in and out and why you


                                       190
are drugging them? There was a Victoria feeling, tea cups, red embroidered
carpets. #10, Day 18


DAY NINETEEN
MIND
I woke up this morning feeling that this proving is over, then everything
seemed dull, and then I went on with my day. #10, Day 19
I was painting a storage cabinet and I had the feeling that I had been
transported to somewhere in China. It’s like I was lost in a daydream, sitting
on a dirt floor in China building this storage cabinet with other workers there
beside me and around me. #10, Day 19
I had to call the plumber to reinstall the toilets and install a tap. He was
under the sink and I heard him screaming, then yelling, like he was in pain
and in a panic. He had tried to turn off the valve, turned it in the direction so
that is should have been off, but hot water sprayed all over him. I was mildly
spooked. It was thee same location as in my dream, down under the sink,
trying to turn off the valves. He was burned, very red hands. I looked for
blisters but he was okay. He said, “I don’t understand. I couldn’t turn it off.”
There was water everywhere. My mother-in-law also had problems with
water in a rental house. #10, Day 19


DAY TWENTY
DREAMS
I am talking with a former teacher. She is wearing a cotton white tunic and a
necklace with a round copper piece on it. I ask her why she didn’t continue in
university. She tells me that it was because she had a family to raise and take
care of.
I am sitting around a table with a few people. A teacher is there with his
young son, who doesn’t like the sesame seeds on the bread he is eating. The
teacher picks off the sees for him. I think that he is taking good care of his
son. #10, Day 20
Dreamt of the director of the school and his daughter. #10, Day 15


EXIT NOTES
I’ve been sleepy. I developed a strong liking for the color turquoise. 1st day I
really wanted to be alone didn’t want anyone to trouble me or bother me.
Leave me alone. I felt all used up. I had shoulder pain – both – (intensified
sx). Like when carry kid on shoulders – heavy and burning. 2 dreams before
I took the remedy. Standing over table and there was food on the table.
There was no room, no space, I couldn’t eat anything. 2 nights later all these


                                       191
deserts and before I know it 8 trays of desserts are gone and there was
infinite room for whatever I wanted. 1st night – rich man has given away big
roll of cash and blank checks. Stamped on one of the checks is “unlimited”.
The 50’s were bright red. Red was a theme.
Real life - I was in a deli shop reached for jar, shard of glass wedged in my
hand. Pulled it out. Went to pay, and my hand was full of blood. No where to
wipe it so I licked it off I said “oh I’m a vampire”. Dream of vampires.
Blonde girl – blood dripping out of side of her mouth. Leprechauns. I dreamt
of a possessed cat that was possessed by some spirit. During the intake my
cat kept trying to bite me. Finally bit me then he got taken away. From flip
side of wanting to be alone to wanting social contact. People calling who I
hadn’t seen in a long time. Really connected and open and my heart felt huge.
Great. Blissed out. Deep relaxation. Openness. Sleepy. Feeling connected
to people in a huge way. Feeling really loved and really open. That was
probably curative. I didn’t realize I had any barrier until I didn’t have it any
more. People were coming to me. Children were being affectionate to me,
people were complimenting me. I felt really loved. Felt full body loved. 2-1/2
year old girl caressing me. Woke up daughter caressing me “I just love you”.
My daughter her mood is completely different – really loving too. Mo, you’re
a really nice person and really loveable. Less irritable. Feeling of joy in a
huge way. Joyful dreams. Open heart. I felt so much joy I thought I was
going to disappear into the clouds. Themes of water. We had a flood. I
dreamt of pipes bursting and not being able to shut off the valves. Then we
had a flood in the house. I said to my husband “The taps are bleeding.” The
plumber arm up there screaming. Hot water sprayed and he got burned.
Just like dream – turn it one way and it doesn’t turn off and another way and
it doesn’t turn off. Feeling more at ease with acquaintances that previously
annoyed me. More able to go with the flow. More receptive. I had this
feeling that I have no desire. No strong desire to go in any direction. Here I
am. Everything is ok. I feel deeply peaceful. Things were coming to me.
Everything was going my way. Everything was smooth, I couldn’t recognize a
problem if I tried. Craving for soup.




                                      192
PROVER NUMBER ELEVEN
DAY ONE
MIND
Some memories of my ex-boyfriend, specifically about his stool and the toilet
of our old bathroom. My thoughts wetn from thinking about the fact that I
only once saw his poo, to wondering if the villagers in Panama, who have
water toilets, to flush every time. I don’t know why I thought about it because
I knew that they did. #11, Day 1


EYES
Tired and dry but not itchy. #11, Day 1


STOOL
I had a larger than normal, meaning thick, stool today that did not smell and
was darker than usual. It usually offends. #11, Day 1


RECTUM
Some pain in the rectum passing stool. #11, Day 1


FEMALE
Felt some herpetic eruption on left inner thigh soon after first dose of the
remedy. The last outbreak was just over three months ago during a stressful
time. This is the same location where they generally appear. (This symptom
disappeared by the next day.) #11, Day 1


EXTREMITIES
Legs felt like they were paralyzed. Took more energy and focus to move
them. #11, Day 1


DAY TWO
DREAMS
Dreamt about an old building that was sometimes a house, sometimes an old
building. (I have a lot of dreams about dwellings.) Later, it was a really nice
house with a huge pool and extremely extravagant rooms for specific
purposes. Everyone was speaking French. I was showing parts of the house to
the people so they could hide when they had to. I was saving someone or
maybe some people from being found. At the beginning of the dream, the


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house was decrepit and I was discussing with other house tenants about the
safety/security of our stuff in the house. You could see from the outside that
some of the windows were missing. Some of the windows were just long,
thick curtains. The house was really unique and I liked it, but it was very
open. The openness of it was okay, just not as safe as it should be. There
were a lot of people living in the house, part of a community with some sort
of purpose that connected us, but we weren’t always together working on it. I
was working and living out of this house. I think that near the end I was
helping someone because I had a special interest in them. By the end I was
showing the house only to the person I was interested in and that is where we
would fool around. #11, Day 2


FACE
Eczema started to flare up before the proving started in red, itchy patches.
#11, Day 1


DAY THREE
DREAMS
My roommate and I were walking to a restaurant and needed to take a
shortcut behind Kingsway Avenue and 9th, but it turned out to be like
Hastings and Main. We kept making wrong turns where there would be dead
ends or places where quadriplegics would be coming out. The first reason for
out shortcut was only to avoid the prostitute area. We ended up in a kind of
death-row treatment centre for drug dealers. They were locked up, but no
one was supposed to know. They caught us walking through their grounds
and were suspicious that we were trying to help the guys escape. We were
actually trying to avoid their clutches. It was a desperate place and I was
worried about the long-term psychological damage it might do to my
roommate, but she seemed less affected than I. Then a couple of guys were
trying to escape and they brought out the guns. Then they made all the
prisoners go outside, including us. They made everyone duck down low so
they wouldn’t hurt anyone while they shot the appropriate guys. . I felt the
convulsions of the first one that was shot. Then after the second one I was
looking at the face of his friend. His thoughts were something about being
paralyzed but not dead. He did seem paralyzed and his eyes were wide. #11,
Day 3


MIND
I’m less stressed out about time and it seems to work out okay. I wasn’t
rushed this morning but I still made it to work on time. #11, Day 3




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I have a more intuitive sense about the negative qualities of people. Usually
I’m in blissful denial of the negative aspects of people. #11, Day 3


EYES
Kept getting stuff stuck in my eye while cycling. #11, Day 3


MOUTH
A little sensitive on the right side of the tip of my tongue. Previously when
drinking something out of a bottle, felt a little irritated on that spot, as
though there was sand in my drink. #11, Day 3


COUGH
One sudden cough while cycling. #11, Day 3


ABDOMEN
At 9:00 p.m.. I felt a short, jabbing pain from my upper to lower abdomen on
the left side. It was a quick moving pain that came out of nowhere. Also
happened the day before. #11, Day 3


SLEEP
Woke up at 2:00 a.m. rather than between 4:00 and 5:00 a.m.. #11, Day 3


DAY FOUR
MIND
I wanted to get things done that I have been putting off. I planted the plants I
bought two weeks ago. #11, Day 4


EYE
My left eye felt like there was something scraping it under the eyelid. It was
like a tiny, sharp wire scraping along the side of my eyeball. #11, Day 4


DAY SIX
MIND
Feeling very positive and on top of things. Got paid and made lots of fun
weekend plans. I feel free! #11, Day 6


                                      195
EYE
The sharp, scraping sensation is gone from the left eye but moved to my
right, but not as marked. The eye feels dry. #11, Day 6


DAY SEVEN
MIND
Foggy and brain-dead because I’m hung over. I want to take Nux vomica, but
I won’t! Slept most of the day. #11, Day 7
Very emotional and feeling very appreciative of the dear friends that I have. I
feel weepy and lovey-dovey. I went to a music performance and held hands
and wept with my friends. I told them how important they are to me. We had
fun. #11, Day 7


STOOL
Profuse stool in the early morning, only 3 1/2 hours after going to sleep, and
again around noon. #11, Day 7


MIND
Stressed from a very busy first day of work without my trainer. I was
contemplating whether or not I’d be able to continue this job because it was
so extremely busy and impossible to keep up. #11, Day 7


DAY TEN
THROAT
I felt rawness in my throat, scratchy and tickly and made me feel like
swallowing. Kind of an acrid rawness so much that I tasted the inside of my
throat. #11, Day 10


DAY TWELVE
DREAMS
I dreamt that my roommate’s cat was in a fight. We were all looking at him
and thinking, “Is he okay?” He looks like he’s walking a bit strangely. His tail
was missing most of its fur, looking wet and not all there. A few minutes
later, when I was the only one looking at his cat, I noticed that his two back
legs were chewed off, and that explained why he was walking funny. I freaked
out, because I didn’t want the cat’s owner, my roommate, to know, because
she would freak out, too. I called an emergency pet support line and asked if

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there is anything I could do. I was thinking there was a way that I could hide
it from her so that she would never notice, or that maybe there was a way to
get his legs to grow back before she noticed. Nearer to the end of the dream
conversation with the support-line, I was realizing there wasn’t much
physically that could be done with its legs that she wouldn’t notice, so I was
asking about any psychological support that could be given to my roommate
once she sees his legs and I was asking how I should go about telling her.
Then I woke up because I started to realize that it was a bit ridiculous that
only I noticed that the cat’s legs were chewed off! #11, Day 12


MIND
Kind of a obnoxious presuming attitude that I begun to uncover. #11, Day 12


VOICE
I came to Squamish to go camping. Two days before I had a scratchy throat
that made my voice diminish. But I would expectorate this hard, tiny, green,
pellet-like phlegm with a bit of clear mucous without taste. It was like a tiny
green rounder egg. Other than that, I’m not feeling sick. #11, Day 12


DAY THIRTEEN
MIND
I feel fine and confident, but I sound really sick. It’s quite entertaining!
#11, Day 13
Not as mentally sharp as I could be, a bit foggy in the head. #11, Day 13


HEAD
Bursts of pain logged in my head when I cough. #11, Day 13


EYES
Watery and sensitive to air in the morning. #11, Day 13


NOSE
Stuffed with thick, green mucous. Can breathe through my nose with effort.
#11, Day 13




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THROAT
Feeling less raw now and fully recovered, except that my voice is really high-
pitched when I have any expression. If I am surprised or excited or anything
above quiet talking, my voice is a squeak or mostly breath rather than sound.
#11, Day 13


RESPIRATION
A little wheezy. #11, Day 13


COUGH
A wheezy, breathy cough that makes my head hurt. I want to cough hard to
get the phlegm out, but that doesn’t always work. #11, Day


BACK
If I stand or hold one position for very long, I feel that my back will give out in
the lower left lumbar region. #11, Day 13, Day 14


EXTREMITIES
My feet and hands got cold while the rest of my body was warm. Couldn’t
warm up, even by the campfire. #11, Day 13


DAY FOURTEEN
DREAMS
Had a significant dream around 6:00 a.m. and meant to get up and write it
down, but now can’t remember it. #11, Day 14


MIND
I feel fine but also a bit foggy because of my cold. I am also a little worried
about my voice for work tomorrow. #11, Day 14


HEAD
Head hurts in both sides near the top at the back of my head only when I
shake it, cough, or make any other sudden movements. #11, Day 14




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EARS
Ears popped today when coming down from Squamish and then did the same
again while blowing my nose. #11, Day 14


MOUTH
Lips are shiny and dry and cracked at the edges of my mouth. There is
mucous globules at the corners of my mouth. #11, Day 14


RESPIRATION
A little laboured. I feel like I can’t breathe quickly in too far or I will cough.
Slight wheeze. #11, Day 14


NOSE
Almost blocked completely. If I breathe through only one nostril it sounds
squeaky, like a badly player recorder/flute! I am blowing my nose often,
especially when I’m talking a lot. #11, Day 14


STOMACH
No appetite. #11, Day 14


DAY FIFTEEN
DREAMS
I was starting a new semester in school and we received info on our new
courses. I had even forget that we had to switch classes already and I hadn’t
done all of my assignments from the first semester courses. I had to still read
a full book and write an essay on it for one class. The exercise to show how
much work we still had ahead of us was that we had to trace a series of lines
on paper that was handed out to rows of us students in out seats. We were
seated in two long rows facing each other at rows of long tables. The
competition was to see who could finish the fastest, but we barely, at first,
knew what the instructions were. Once we understood what to do, it still took
a long time to complete it. I think I felt like I and my team were winning.
After awhile I started to see the pointlessness in it since we were supposed to
have started much earlier and in a different location, but we continued
though it was futile. We wondered about the corruption of the system that
made us start so late and some of us formed discussion groups for what to do
about it. It was a very devastating re4alization that our school system was
corrupt and our futures were in jeopardy. When I was kind of awake, I was
still waiting and going in and out of the dream to check the process and see if


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anything had changed. #11, Day 15


MIND
In good spirits, despite having a harsh cold and having to go to work. I felt a
strange freedom from the everyday humdrum. #11, Day 15


VOICE
Crackly still and sounds like my nose is blocked. #11, Day 15


NOSE
Blocked still. Have to blow it often and when I do I get large amounts of
viscous, green, slimy mucous. #11, Day 15, Day 16


EARS
Squeaky sound when I blew my nose, like my ears were de-pressurizing. #11,
Day 15, Day 16


MOUTH
Lips dry and cracking. Mouth felt like it was lined with sand. #11, Day 16


STOMACH
Drank lots of tea all afternoon but could not drink enough to quench my
thirst.


DAY SEVENTEEN
COUGH
It’s harder to cough up the phlegm. If I do cough up phlegm, it is more than
before. My abdominal muscles hurt while coughing. I’m starting to get a
choking on the last part of the cough. #11, Day 17


THROAT
Raw, scraping pain in the throat due to the cough and the phlegm that
suddenly and harshly whipping past the inside of my throat. #11, Day 17




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DAY NINETEEN
MIND
I’m very excited and content. I got a phone call that woke me up from a friend
who lives far away. She made me laugh this morning. I’m a little nervous
about the day ahead because it’s my birthday. #11, Day 19


GENERAL
My feeling is that my old symptoms are starting to appear more strongly now
that my cough is going away. I had a hard time getting out of bed because it
was so nice and warm. During the day I was a bit tired and sensitive to
people’s energy. #11, Day 15


HEAD
I have a little bit of itching on my scalp on the back of my head. Head is
finally clear of the cold. #11, Day 19


FACE
Dry skin in spots with a tiny bit of painless flaking on the cheeks, more on the
left side. Also a tiny bit on the inner left eyelid. #11, Day 19


VISION
Every once in awhile I will catch a glimpse of an object moving quickly out of
the corner. #11, Day 19




PROVER NUMBER TWELVE
DAY ONE
DREAMS
I am in a video store looking for a couple of movies. I then seemed to take on
the role of being in an action film. I was with a man (I also felt like I was a
man) and we were being pursued. We ran up a cement embankment and
there was a black limo waiting for us. We jumped in the back and sat down.
The man driving was handsome with salt and pepper hair. I felt that we were
in danger and that he was one of the pursuers. I was afraid of what might
happen and where he would take us. When the limo stopped my partner and I
jumped out, ran and tumbled down the cement embankment into this
industrial area that felt like it was on the bank of a river. We ran jumping

                                      201
over things, crates and past filthy wet sections and then found ourselves in a
barn-like structure. We were climbing the walls carefully and moving to our
right. My partner was ahead of me and found himself on a section like a
hinged door that began to open. He swung above a corral and there was
danger just below him. I believe it was a black bear. You could see the bees
swarming around him, as though he had gotten into their hive. I had a
flashback of the video store and remembered seeing children’s videos, one
with Winnie the Pooh. The dream then switched to me sitting at a long table
outdoors. My school classmates were around, although I never actually
saw/recognized them. Murray was sitting to my left. A little girl, frail, with
light brown, stringy hair and wearing plain clothing walked up with her
mother. The girl spoke and we noticed small clumps of bees resting on her
arms and a couple on her face. Murray asked if this always happens, and the
mother replied, “yes.” He got up and found a white cream for her to apply
that would keep the bees away. I then flashed back to the corral and realized
that I had been there before, as a spy or detective. The bear was no longer in
the corral, it was fire. #12, Day 1


GENERALITIES
I’m feeling like something’s shifting, like an energy that’s happening within.
Maybe it’s giving me more energy? There’s a little bit of an undercurrent
happening, like a really low vibration sensation; like simmering molten lava.
I feel it all through my body, maybe a little more in the chest. I became aware
of this between 10: a.m. and 12:30 p.m.. #12, Day 1


CHEST
At 12:30 p.m. I am feeling energy shifts all through my body, a little more in
the chest where I am feeling heat. #12, Day 1


EXTREMITIES
At 5:45 p.m. I had sudden, sharp, prickling, burning sensations lasting a
couple of seconds in both armpits. There were blotches of redness in both
armpits#12, Day 1


DAY TWO
DREAMS
I dreamt of a classmate having a study group but we were in a foreign,
tropical country. I took my shoes off and passed through a glass corridor,
past a swimming pool. There were schoolmates from junior high hanging
about the pool. I sat down with a few others as she informed us that they
were moving and a colleague would be renting the place. I was jealous of my


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colleague as I looked at the beautiful pool and home. #12, Day 2
In another dream I was visiting old friends or relatives, but it was as if we
were in a Bed and Breakfast. It was still in this foreign, tropical country. I
walked into the bedroom to get dirty laundry. My mother appeared and
informed me that some of the laundry I was picking up was already folded
and clean. I was concerned for my father. #12, Day 2
The last dream I remember (for day two) was walking through this
classmate’s house. This time it was smaller and less decadent. I opened the
front door to find that the front walk was actually this really deep trench. In it
were old pieces of wet, mossy driftwood logs. I began pulling them up one by
one to help clear it so a proper sidewalk could be poured. At one point, I
thought one of the logs was a body part, an arm with the elbow. Then I pulled
up a small head with long, dark hair, though there was no blood or
grotesqueness to it. I was a little freaked out by the thought of a body being
down there. I found a way across it by getting the water hose. Then there
appeared a couple of policemen walking into the house by the trench. I
walked over to tell them about the heads. (I had found another one prior to
the one with black hair, but it was less clearly a head.) The policemen looked
nonchalantly and said that it was just a mask. There was no fear as I was
pulling things out of this trench. I was just trying to be helpful and clear stuff
out of the way. I felt more disbelief and amazement. #12, Day 2


MIND
Thoughts come quickly. Feeling mental clarity. I am also feeling emotionally
stable. I found out about the death of a client yesterday and I did not cry. This
was unusual for me. Normally tears would come, even now just talking about
it. #12, Day 2


MOUTH
Noticed around 11:00 a.m. a small crack in the right corner of my mouth. It
feels like someone nicked me with a knife. Prior to this there was the
sensation of a cold sore starting. #12, Day 2


EXTREMITIES
My left foot, just below the ankle on the outside was aching. #12, Day 2




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DAY THREE
FEMALE
Woke at 3:45 a.m. with menstrual cramps. #12, Day 3


FEVER/HEAT
3:45 a.m.: hot and restless. Tossed and turned before being able to go back to
sleep. Too hot with down duvet and too cold without it. #12, Day 3


GENERALITIES
Dragging and tired; no energy. Took three hits of the snooze button on the
alarm clock to get out of bed. #12, Day 3


THROAT
1:00 p.m. Ate a chocolate bar and within 30 minutes felt a burning at the base
of the throat, like heartburn. #12, Day 3


CHEST
At 2:00 p.m.: a burning sensation across the whole chest that lasted for a
couple of minutes. #12, Day 3
Burning in the upper part of the chest shortly after dinner that lasted 10 – 15
minutes. #12, Day 3


MIND
Feeling agitated this afternoon and evening. My computer isn’t working; I’m
sick of doing laundry; I’ve had enough standing at the sink doing dishes after
being at the sink at work all day. I feel like things started to go downhill since
that chocolate bar at 1:00 p.m. #12, Day 3


HEAD
A short aching headache while doing the dinner dishes at 6:00 p.m. from the
eyes up through the vertex. I wanted to lie down and close my eyes in the
peace and quiet. #12, Day 3




                                       204
MIND
A lot of mental confusion today compared to yesterday’s clarity. I pulled the
keys out of my jacket when I left work and got in my car only to realize that I
had left my jacket hanging there. I went to get my jacket and a colleague
came running out with my lunch bag that was sitting with my other stuff. I
had forgotten that, too. #12, Day 3
I got to the school and was trying to explain something to a parent and I
couldn’t put the thoughts together for it to come out of my mouth properly. I
was agitated because of not being able to say what I wanted to say. #12, Day 3


DAY FOUR
MIND
Still seem to have a bit of fog happening in my head today. It’s like a veil over
my head buffering the outside world from the inside world with a slight
heaviness. #12, Day 4


GENERALITIES
My energy was okay until a bout 2:00 p.m. when I felt really tired. Finally
succumbed around 3:45 p.m. and slept very deeply for about 30 minutes. I
was grateful that I had set my alarm to go pick up my daughter. #12, Day 4


HEAD
After sleep, I felt pressure on the vertex, almost an ache, but more a dull
pressure pushing from the top down around the head, only half way down the
head. #12, Day 4


EYES
Feeling pressure in my eyes, inside the eyeball and pushing outward to the
circumference in all directions. #12, Day 4
Eyes are more tired than usual. At 6:00 p.m. it feels like I was straining my
eyes on the computer all day. It feels like grit or sand stuck in my eyeball.
Rubbing provided some relief. #12, Day 4


MIND
Feeling like this proving is a waste of time and energy. #12, Day 4




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DAY FIVE
DREAMS
I dreamt that I was at a lake with friends. My daughter was in the water being
brave and wanting to try the boat, which looked like a hydrofoil or swamp
boat. She got on and started moving but couldn’t steer. It capsized. She
looked so embarrassed and was crying, looking away from the crowd on the
beach. I felt so bad for her. #12, Day 5
In the shore in a room with many others, I was trying to clean up. It was like
there was a group of us traveling. I am doing laps around a track with rooms
all around. It was crowded with people and objects. I was trying to make
something in the kitchen and I couldn’t find the salt. I was so frustrated by
everything I tried to do. There was too much clutter and too many people.
#12, Day 5
A dream with cow themes: a cow print on a huge blanket and something else.
It made me think of being in a herd, crowded, trying to move, trying to do
things with obstacles in my way. #12, Day 5


TEETH
Brushing my teeth this morning and at bedtime I have nerve pain particularly
on the left side, more so on the bottom, at the base of the tooth on the gum
line. #12, Day 5


GENERALITIES
I was really tired around noon. Sitting in a discussion, my eyes were so
heavy, I wanted to close them. I was concerned about staying awake and
being aware enough with a new patient later in the afternoon. #12, Day 5


DAY SIX
DREAMS
My dreams are more scattered, less sequential than at the start of the
proving. I can only recall small parts. #12, Day 6


Last night’s dreams have a lot of clutter in them: a lot of objects and people
around. I have a vision of a room in which is my cousin and a friend. I can’t
grasp what is really going on. There was a counter, like in a store with a lot of
things behind it. My cousin was working on something in front of the counter.
My friend was shopping, pulling items down. We were leaving this shop on
the back of a big, old truck. It was like the truck was piled high and we were
up on top of all the goods. It reminded me of a third world country. The big,
old ton truck was filled to the brim, but you could see all the items through

                                      206
its wooden slats. #12, Day 6


In another dream I was with my daughter, stopping at a department store
looking for a gift. I was in the baby department, looking at all these stuffed
animals hanging along the perimeter of the ceiling: Tigger, Winnie the Pooh,
etc. I was looking for the right outfit in which to dress a stuffed animal. #12,
Day 6


EARS
Slight ache (pulsating) in the right ear; burning in the left ear. #12, Day 6


TEETH
There is a sharp, shooting pain in my lower teeth when brushing them in the
morning. It was the teeth and at the gum line. #12, Day 6


FOOD
Went to a little café and was turned off by their greasy options. #12, Day 6
Craving pink grapefruit all day like I did when I was pregnant. #12, Day 6


SKIN
Skin seems drier today. #12, Day 6


DAY SEVEN
DREAMS
I dreamt that I was in a yard doing some work. My husband was there, not
feeling well. He went to bed, as he was really sick. I had my daughter and her
friend with me, and they were reading a book. The friend was reading out
loud and said the “f-word” as she read. Her dad was sitting beside me and
had her bring the book over. They were late for school. The four of us went
outside. My daughter’s friend was on her scooter. The girls were much
younger in the dream than they are in life. The girls and I crossed the street,
they ahead of me. My glasses fell to the ground. A big, white, box-cube ton
truck drove by. I was concerned about my glasses so I walked back up the
hill. I couldn’t find them. The girls ran head around the school to go in the
office door. I was worried about my husband’s health as I waited for the
father of the girlfriend to come out of the house. #12, Day 7




                                       207
MIND
I went to bed at midnight, no, 12:24 a.m., but it’s daylight savings and the
clocks were moved ahead. I woke up at 1:30 a.m. confused. Lights were on
downstairs. I was afraid that we had a robber and he was stealing the
computer downstairs. I finally realized that my husband was no longer in
bed. He must have gotten up again without my noticing. I woke up shortly
after 8:00 a.m. and I panicked because I thought that it was really 9:00 a.m.
and I had to leave really fast for clinic. I grabbed my clothes and rushed into
the shower. As I was finishing my shower I remembered that I had already
changed my clock and that 8:00 a.m. was the true time, meaning I still had an
hour. I felt so confused. I had a couple of glasses of wine last night, likely
contributing to the confusion. #12, Day 7


SLEEP
Unrefreshed; could have crawled back into bed after 7 hours of sleep. #12,
Day 7


HEAD
There is a slight throbbing in the left side of the head about the temple in the
early afternoon. It’s like the ear throbbing from yesterday moved upwards.
#12, Day 7


MIND
I was fairly impatient all day, yelling at people all the way to the clinic for not
letting me in or turning onto the road in front of me, I wanted to work
through all the patient cases today and got irritable with the others when they
were off doing other things unrelated to the cases. #12, Day 7


FOOD AND DRINK
My sweet tooth has been gone until today. #12, Day 7


DAY EIGHT
DREAMS
I dreamt that I was looking in a second hand clothing store to find sweater for
my daughter. Then I was in a little hole in the wall restaurant, but it was a
fine dining place. I crossed the street, went into the restaurant again, but now
it was on the other side of the street. I was going to help them serve. They had
these nice, classy, sexy outfits to try on. It made me feel special with the
thought of trying one of these on. #12, Day 8


                                       208
I was in a car driving. I had an older lady, my aunt, in the back seat and two
or three young guys also in the car. We were showing them the scenery. There
were big, ancient trees, evergreens, monkey trees, which is my personal
favourite. There was a body of water to the left. I had them choose a CD to
play and I cranked the volume up. My aunt didn’t mind. I felt important.
We stopped and were going into a dance. I was dressed up and felt really
good. You could go stand in a spotlight then, hopefully, your dream date
would come up and introduce themselves to you. I scanned the room and
spotted a man with long, dark hair and dark features. I felt a connection with
him. I and three others went to stand in the spotlight. Immediately a man
came up and escorted a girlfriend away. I then found a table with three
friends sitting opposite. I had extra shoes, my briefcase and stuff I was
organizing at my feet. I felt confident that my date would come. #12, Day 8


DAY NINE
SLEEP
A very unsettled sleep. One of the cats wasn’t in when I went to bed and I
didn’t know whether or not my husband let him in. I was concerned and also
very warm. #12, Day 9


DREAMS
I dreamt of a big house on fire. I was outside watching. I saw someone throw
a cigarette down on the ground and the grass caught fire around it. #12, Day 9


MIND
I felt really fed up today. I’m sick of working around the wine, the smell and
the chemicals. I snapped out of it around 1:00 p.m. when an old friend that I
thought I had lost touch with, dropped in. Just after he left, a girlfriend came
in. She’s going through a difficult time. I had a lot of clarity in discussing her
situation with her. I felt very calm and connected to the situations. #12, Day 9
I picked up my daughter, came home, and turned into a bitch. Too much to
do, too little time. I feel that there are too many restrictions placed on me and
it is confining. I am grumpy towards husband and daughter. Snappish – I can
hardly live with myself. #12, Day 9
I am feeling that I don’t care about the proving anymore. It is getting in the
way of my routine and it feels like another restriction. #12, Day 9




                                       209
DAY TEN
DREAMS
I was in a small office building working. Someone came in to say that there
was a fire on the fourth floor. I looked for a fire extinguisher and got into this
elevator that was full of stuff, with a man who was my boss. We got out and
were now on an escalator going down and now it’s my husband with me.
There were things all around us, like baggage we were lying around on. Out
of the blue, I told him that I wanted a divorce. I tried to explain that things
were good between us but that I truly felt that I could never really be happy
with him, that he could never fill that void. I felt free and happy with the
decision to ask for a divorce. It was like the world was mine. (This was a
conversation similar to the one I had in life with my girlfriend the previous
day.) #12, Day 10
I found myself in a second-hand store looking at household items. I found
some lovely, clear plates. I had actually gone in looking for clothes, had been
in there already once before on the same day. It was near closing time. I felt
good about finding the plates because they could be useful now while we
were still together. #12, Day 10


DAY ELEVEN
DREAMS
I was in an office building. It reminded me of ICBC road testing. I’m in line,
waiting patiently to have my eyes tested by my by my optometrist. There
were so many people and so much staff. My daughter was with me, walking
around passing time.
It was my turn. They sat me down and put big machines before my eyes.
They couldn’t figure out what the problem was. I was thinking to tell them
that it’s mainly eyestrain. They decided to leave me there for an hour, going
on to someone else in the meantime. My vision was blurry and I felt that my
eyesight was changing as they did the tests.
I saw my daughter playing and supervising a little girl and thought that while
we were waiting that I would walk through the mall to McDonald’s (yuk!) and
get us a meal. I just got up and started through the mall. It was busy with so
many people. I went down a black, padded slide, crawling over people’s legs
at the bottom. It took such a long time. I went to one McDonald’s and the
lineup was too long or something, so I went across the street to another. I had
noticed so many black people. It was so unusual to see so many in one place.
I wasn’t frightened, more intimidated.
Finally I got into the lineup and placed my order. I gave them my social
insurance number instead of my Interac card. I was feeling stressed for time.
I had left the optometrist at 4:00 p.m. and it was already 4:40 p.m.. My
daughter didn’t know where I was and it was taking so long, I was getting


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upset. I felt I had really let her down as a parent and was so upset that she
was left on her own. I woke up feeling like I had really let her down. My heart
was heavy, having failed as a mother. #12, Day 11


DAY TWELVE
MIND
I was in a good mood today, accomplished a lot at home, visited with
neighbours, planned and even for tomorrow, felt very social. My head was
clear, I was thinking well. I had an argument with my husband at dinner. He
flew off the handle, blowing the situation way out of proportion. I remained
calm and collected. I accepted that our relationship is on the surface and will
remain there. #12, Day 12


DAY THIRTEEN
DREAMS
I was with my daughter at a sleepover outing with her class. I walked by this
big stone bench with her. All of the mail sent to this camp was scattered
about. She had a few in her hand but I knew that she wouldn’t find one from
me as I hadn’t thought to write one. I felt like such a poor, thoughtless
mother. #12, Day 13
The camping group scattered and the teachers blew a bog horn or bugle. I
was asleep at the top of the slide. I couldn’t wake up to go and participate
with the group. I finally pulled myself up, slid down the slide and stumbled
over. Sheets were being handed out to walk over to another area to
participate in a game at another building. It looked like an office. One section
was for the hospital staff. I was surprised to see that in the end, there were
only a couple of children per room. #12, Day 13


HEAD
I have light pulsating in the forehead over both eyes in the afternoon for a few
minutes. #12, Day 13


FACE
I have a couple of pimples on my face. #12, Day 13


EYES
Eyes feeling tired off and on with slight burning. #12, Day 13




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THROAT
This morning there is a tickling itch in my throat. #12, Day 13


BACK
Aching in the lumbar spine for a couple of days. #12, Day 13
Stiffness in the neck and shooting pain from the neck to the occiput. #12, Day
13


MIND
Feeling mentally tired with so many scattered thoughts swimming around. I
need quiet time to relax and find balance. #12, Day 13


DAY FOURTEEN
GENERALITIES
Needed to be outside today. Spent the entire day transplanting my indoor
plants. Could hardly walk at the end of the day for all the bending and
leaning. #12, Day 14


DAY FIFTEEN
DREAMS
I dreamt last night that I was taking my cat with me into a dollar store on a
leash. Once inside, it became my daughter’s class. I spoke with her teacher
and left before she came into the classroom. As I was leaving the school, she
was walking up the hallway and stopped to show me something. I said,
“Goodbye,” and left the building. I was putting a tray of pasta in the back of
my vehicle as I was on my way to a funeral. (The funeral was for a guy I had
known here in Vancouver who left a few years ago. I have lost touch with
him.) I was driving in Vancouver in an area downtown that I wasn’t familiar
with, looking for the new homeopathic animal hospital. I parked on a street
and went with a male friend in one direction, with pasta dish in hand. I
walked into one building and realized that I was in the wrong place. I am
pretty sure that I said goodbye to this friend, who also seemed to be the
friend that I thought had died. I put my pasta back into the back of the car,
drove around the block and parked around the corner from the animal
hospital. I walked around the corner and into the building. Some people had
said that I had to go out, down and around the corner and into the hospital
from the back as this area was only the coffee shop. They were very friendly
and I felt that I knew them. I felt comfortable and open with them.


                                      212
I walked outside into another entrance. The building was new. A man was
there with papers in his hand, heading for an office. It was his building. He
explained how the carpeting wasn’t working, especially in the winter with all
the rain. They would be changing the flooring. I found a room in which a
homeopathic convention was taking place. There were a lot of people, but
only a couple of my classmates. I realized that I had forgotten to bring any
kind of writing paper. No one appeared to have enough to share with me. I
figured that I could make do with the backs of a couple fo sheets I had in my
hand.
I was trying to get back to my seat, near the front. The women beside me
didn’t seem very friendly. Another woman showed up to my left with a
portable table and chairs for her and her daughter. I was stepping over power
cords and balloon ribbons to get back to my seat. I felt crowded out,
confined, no room to move easily. #12, Day 15


DAY SIXTEEN
MIND
So many thoughts shooting around in my head. I found myself turning the
radio in the car off because it was too much stimulation. This was unusual for
me. #12, Day 16


CHEST
Heartburn began in the afternoon and became worse after eating dinner.
Gone by the next morning. #12, Day 16


MOUTH
Cold sore on the bottom lip, right side that lasted for two days. #12, Day 16


DAY TWENTY-ONE
DREAMS
I had a really erotic dream that was disturbing. This goes back a long time.
There is this older man that I know who is very spiritual and has the ability to
connect with me in my dreams.
In the dream I was making love with my husband. Half-way through I
stopped and said, “No, I am not going to come, I can’t do this again.” I went
to the bathroom. When I cam back into the room it was like a dorm, a hostel.
There were quite a few people in there and my husband was in bed against
the wall, hiding under the blankets. I wondered what all these people were
doing there and thought how typical of him to ignore the whole situation.


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When I woke up, I had this thought that it was my friend, this older, spiritual
man, and not my husband that I was making love to. I was pissed off because
I had already set my boundaries with him. I felt that he had moved across
those boundaries again by being in my dream. I saw him the next day and
asked him if he was in my dream. He said maybe he had a quick peek, saw
what was going on, and took off. I reiterated that he can’t cross this
boundary.
This felt like an intrusion. He’s crossing my boundaries. When he comes back
into my life, I have a trust issue with him that has been ongoing with us. I try
not to have to connect with him. I was thinking of the same old stuff that
happens when I’m back in touch with him. He has tried to pull me in a
spiritual direction. It frightens me. I’m not ready for it. It started when he
used to come into the wine store. He’s very spiritual, lives on a totally
different level. He was making a bond with me subconsciously and I didn’t
know he was doing this until after. I told him that he did this without me
knowing and that crosses my boundaries. I am feeling agitated towards him.
#12, Day 21




                                      214
APPENDIX I – LIST OF NIOBIUM RUBRICS
* Indicates rubrics composed for this proving


MIND
Mind; ANXIETY; Conscience, of, unpardonable sin, feels she has done the,
and will be eternally lost (1 prover)
Mind; AWKWARDNESS; Breaks things (1 prover)
Mind; COLOURS; Desires; green; turquoise (1 prover)
*Mind: COLOURS; Overwhelmed by, many (1 prover)
Mind; COMPANY; Aversion to, agg.; solitude, desire for (2 provers)
*Mind; CONCENTRATION; Difficult; Sciatica, with (1 prover)
Mind; CONCENTRATION; Difficult; evening; agg. (1 prover)
Mind; CONCENTRATION; Impossible (1 prover)
Mind; CONCENTRATION; Difficult; fixing attention impossible
(2 provers)
Mind; CONFIDENCE; Want of self (2 provers)
Mind; CONFUSION of mind; Identity, as to his (2 provers)
Mind; CONNECTION; Feeling of (4 provers)
Mind; COURAGEOUS (1 prover)
*Mind: DELUSIONs, imaginations; Animals, of, cats, felines; pursued by
(1 prover)
*Mind; DELUSIONS, imaginations; Body, body parts; smaller, becoming,
expanded, then, normal size, back to, then (1 prover)
Mind; DELUSIONS, imaginations; Boundaries; personal, dissolved, between
self and others (1 prover)
*Mind; DELUSIONS, Bursting (1 prover)
*Mind; DELUSIONS, Expanding (1 prover)
Mind; DELUSIONS, imagination; Betrayed, being (1 prover)
Mind: DETACHED (3 provers)
Mind: DETACHED; Observing from the outside, as if (2 provers)
Mind; DISPUTATIOUS (2 provers)
Mind; DISCRIMINATION, lack of (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Accusations; crime, wrongful of (1 prover)



                                    215
Mind; DREAMS; Ancient times, biblical (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Animals, whales, of (2 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Amorous (3 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Animals, of, snakes (3 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Animals, of, rabbits (1 prover)
*Mind; DREAMS; Animals, of, cats, felines, of possessed by the devil
(1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Animals, deer, of (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Animals, fishes, dead, of (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Animals, pigs, of (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Animals, cows, of (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Animals, dogs, of (3 provers)
*Mind; DREAMS; Animals, of, cats, of injured (1 prover)
*Mind; DREAMS; Animals, of, selling things (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Animals, of, birds (2 provers)
*Mind; DREAMS; Animals, of, dogs, mad, attacking (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Betrayed, being (2 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Blood (1 prover)
*Mind; DREAMS; Body, body parts, eyes, of being tested (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Child, children; about; looking after (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Child, children; about; injured (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Child, children; about; fondness for (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Child, children; about; babies (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Child, children; about; babies; nursing (2 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Child, children; about, danger, in (6 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Carefree (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Caretaking (2 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Cars, automobiles, of; trucks; old, driving too fast
(4 provers)
Mind; DREAMS, Child, children, about, neglecting her (3 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Cleaning (2 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Country; foreign (4 provers)




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Mind; DREAMS; Dead, Bodies (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Disease; sick people (2 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Divorced, of getting (5 provers)
*Mind; DREAMS; Embrace; bodies merge, in (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Escape (3 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Escape, of, Buddhist monastery, from (1 prover)
Miind; DREAMS; Evil (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Family, own (12 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Fights (2 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Fire, of (4 provers
Mind; DREAMS; Food (5 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Friends; old, boyfriend (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Friends; old (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Furniture (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Geometrical figures (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Glass, of; broken (2 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Gold (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Graves; falling into a grave, waking her (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Grotesque (1 prover)
*Mind; DREAMS; Hair colored, nails pointed (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; House, houses; big (5 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Hurried (1 prover)
*Mind; DREAMS; Identity, of, false (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Injustice, about (2 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Intruder, intruders; sees (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Journey, difficulties, with (3 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Journey, country in, foreign (2 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Kindness, of (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Late, being (1 prover)
*Mind; DREAMS; Laundry (2 provers)
*Mind; DREAMS; Leprechauns (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Lost, being (1 prover)



                                     217
Mind; DREAMS; Metal (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; money (3 provers)
*Mind; DREAMS; Money, unlimited (1 prover)
*Mind; DREAMS; Monks, Tibetan (2 provers)
*Mind; DREAMS; Movie, shooting a (2 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Old; growing, aging (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; People, of crowd (7 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Persecution, of (3 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Piano, playing, of (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Poverty (3 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Powerful (2 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Prostitution (2 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Proving remedy (2 provers)
*Mind; DREAMS; Road, broken, crumbling (2 provers)
[See prover number six in pre-proving dream.]
Mind; DREAMS; Robbers (2 provers)
*Mind; DREAMS; School; corrupted (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; School (7 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Shopping (3 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Singing, of (1 prover)
*Mind; DREAMS; Sleep, slide, on top of (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Smoking (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Snow (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Spiritual (8 provers)
*Mind; DREAMS; Spiritual man, invaded by, in dreams, sexual (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Stool (1 prover)
*Mind; DREAMS; Teacher, former (3 provers)
*Mind; DREAMS; Trucks, big, old, to the brim, filled (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Tunnels (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Unremembered (4 provers)
Mind; DREAMS; Unsuccessful efforts to (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Warts (1 prover)



                                      218
*Mind; DREAMS; Water, crossing a stream in a truck (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Water, flood of a (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Water; pipes bursting (1 prover)
Mind; DREAMS; Water; swimming in (1 prover)
*Mind: DULLNESS; Veil, heavy, buffering the outside world (1 prover)
Mind; EXCITEMENT, excitable; Desire for (2 provers)
Mind; EXCITEMENT, excitable; General; easily (7 provers)
Mind; FORSAKEN feeling (2 provers)
Mind; HANDLE things anymore, cannot, overwhelmed by stress (5 provers)
Mind; HAUGHTY (1 prover)
Mind; HEAVENLY Sensation (1 prover)
Mind: IMPATIENCE (1 prover)
Mind; IRRESOLUTION, indecision (1 prover)
*Mind; IRRITABILITY, strangers, with (2 provers)
Mind; JEALOUSY; Love; disappointment, after (1 prover)
Mind; LAUGHING; General; serious matters, over (1 prover)
*Mind; LIGHTS; fluorescent, under (1 prover)
Mind; LOVE; Children, for (1 prover)
Mind; LOVE; Family, for (1 prover)
Mind; MEMORY; Active; recollection, involuntary (1 prover)
Mind; MISTAKES, making; Calculating in (1 prover)
Mind; MISTAKES, making; Writing, in (1 prover)
Mind; MISTAKES, making; Actions, in (4 provers)
Mind; MISTAKES, making; Talking; wrong; words, using (1 prover)
Mind; MISTAKES, making; Time, in (1 prover)
Mind; MOOD; Changeable, variable (2 provers)
Mind; MUSIC; Desires; playing (1 prover)
Mind; MOTHER, Aversion to (1 prover)
Mind; NEWS agg.; Bad (1 prover)
Mind; OFFENDED easily (2 provers)
Mind; POSITIVENESS (3 provers)
Mind; POSTPONING, everything to next day (1 prover)
*Mind; PROSTRATION of mind, thoughts, scattered (1 prover)

                                       219
Mind; SADNESS; Love disappointment, from (1 prover)
Mind; SADNESS; Weeping amel. (1 prover)
Mind; SADNESS; Weeping; impossible (1 prover)
Mind; SOCIABILITY (2 provers)
Mind; STARTING, startled; Noise, from (1 prover)
Mind; SYMPATHETIC, compassionate; Animals, cats, felines; towards
(1 prover)
Mind; SYNCHRONICITY, awareness of (2 provers)
Mind; TALK,Talking, talks; General; strength and conviction, with (1 prover)
Mind: THOUGHTS; Distracted (3 provers)
Mind; WEEPING, tearful mood; General; music, from (1 prover)
Mind; WEEPING, tearful mood; General; without emotion (1 prover)


HEAD
Head; COTTON, as of (1 prover)
Head; PAIN; Dull; forehead; eyes; above; extending to vertex (1 prover)
Head; PAIN; Migraine; menses, before or after (1 prover)
Head; PAIN; Pain in other parts, with; back (1 prover)
Head; PAIN; Pressing; vertex; extending; downward (1 prover)
Head; PAIN; Pulsating, throbbing; temples; left (1 prover)
Head; PAIN; Pulsating throbbing; forehead; eyes, above (1 prover)
Head; PAIN; Right (1 prover)
Head; PAIN; Sides; left (2 provers)
Head; PAIN; Pressing; pressure; amel.(2 provers)
Head; TINGLING, prickling (1 prover)
Head; PAIN; Vertex; motion; agg. (2 provers)
Head; WILD feeling (1 prover)
Vertigo; TURNING; Agg.; motion of head, or (1 prover)
Eyes; ITCHING; Canthi; outer (1 prover)
Eyes; ITCHING; Canthi; inner (1 prover)
Eyes; LACHRYMATION; General; air; open; agg. (1 prover)
Eyes; LIGHT; Agg.; daylight (2 provers)
Eyes; PAIN; Burning, smarting, biting (2 provers)

                                      220
Eyes; PAIN; Pulled; upward, as if (1 prover)
Eyes; PAIN; Sand, as from (2 provers)
Eyes; SWELLING; Sensation of (1 prover)
Eyes; TIRED; Sensation (2 provers)
*Eyes; VISION; Light; balls out of the corners, moving along the floor,
darting, disappearing (1 prover)
*Eyes; VISION; Objects; moving quickly out of the corner (1 prover)


MOUTH
Mouth; ERUPTIONS; General; pimples; gums (1 prover)
Mouth; ERUPTIONS; General; vesicles; gums (1 prover)
Mouth; DISCOLORATION; Yellow; tongue (1 prover)
Mouth; DRYNESS; General; waking, on (1 prover)
Mouth; CRACKED, fissured; General (2 provers)
Mouth; ERUPTIONS; General; herpes (2 provers)


TEETH
Teeth; PAIN; Lower; left (1 prover)


FACE
Face; PAIN; Jaws (1 prover)
Face; TINGLING, prickling; Lips (1 prover)
Face; DISCOLORATION; Red; cheeks (1 prover)
Face; ERUPTIONS; Acne (2 provers)
Face; ERUPTIONS; Acne; chin (1 prover)
Face; ERUPTIONS; Eczema; cheeks (1 prover)
Face; ERUPTIONS; Eczema; eyes, about (1 prover)


MOUTH
Mouth; APHTHAE; Lips, inner side (1 prover)
Mouth; ERUPTIONS; General; pimples; tongue; tip (1 prover)




                                        221
EARS


Ears; PAIN; Right; left, then (1 prover)
*Ears; PAIN; Sharp, ringing sound, accompanied by (1 prover)


HEARING
Hearing; ACUTE (1 prover)
*Hearing; NOISES; Ringing; hearing sharp, followed by (1 prover)


NOSE
Nose; CONGESTION (1 prover)
Nose; DISCHARGE; Green (1 prover)
Nose; HEAVINESS; Sinuses (1 prover)
Nose; PAIN; Boring; root (1 prover)
Face; TINGLING, prickling (1 prover)
*Nose; External; bridge, tingling (1 prover)


THROAT
Throat; COLDNESS; Icy (1 prover)
Throat; EXCORIATION (2 provers)


Throat; ITCHING (1 prover)
Throat; SWALLOWING; Aversion to (1 prover)


STOMACH


Stomach; APPETITE; Diminished (4 provers)
Stomach; APPETITE; Insatiable (1 prover)
Stomach; FULLNESS (1 prover)
Stomach; PAIN; Cramping, griping, constricting; noon (1 prover)
Stomach; VOMITING; General; nausea; during (2 provers)
Stomach; THIRST; Unquenchable, constant (1 prover)
Stomach; ALTERNATING states (1 prover)


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ABDOMEN
Abdomen; FULLNESS (1 prover)
Abdomen; PAIN; Burning, smarting (1 prover)
Abdomen; PAIN; Dragging, bearing down (1 prover)
Abdomen; PAIN; Drawing; sides (1 prover)
Abdomen; PAIN; Dull; liver region (1 prover)
Abdomen; PAIN; Right (1 prover)
Abdomen; PAIN; Spots, in (1 prover)
Abdomen; PAIN; Stabbing (1 prover)
Abdomen; PAIN; Stinging (1 prover)
Abdomen; PAIN; Wandering (1 prover)


BLADDER
Bladder; URINATION; Unsatisfactory (1 prover)


URINE
Urine; SEDIMENT; Red (1 prover)


RECTUM
Rectum; CONSTIPATION (3 provers)
Rectum; DIARRHEA (2 provers)
Rectum; ITCHING (1 prover)
Rectum; HEMORRHAGE; Anus, from; menses; during (1 prover)
Rectum; HEMORRHOIDS; Menses; during (1 prover)
Rectum; PAIN; Stool; during (1 prover)
Rectum; URGING, desire; General; stool; after (1 prover)


ABDOMEN
Abdomen; FLATULENCE (2 provers)
Abdomen; NOISES; Rumbling; loud (1 prover)




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STOOL
Stool; BALLS; Small (1 prover)
Stool; HARD (1 prover)
Stool; HARD; First; soft, then (1 prover)
Stool; LIENTERIC (1 prover)
Stool; PROFUSE (1 prover)
Stool; SMALL (1 prover)
Stool; WATERY (1 prover)


FEMALE
Female; LEUCORRHEA; Milky (1 prover)
Female; MENSES; Frequent, too early, too soon; two days too early (1 prover)
Female; MENSES; Late, too; two days too late (1 prover)
Female; MENSES; Painful, dysmenorrhea(1 prover)
Female; PAIN; Vagina; menses; during (1 prover)
Female; PAIN; Bearing down; come out, as if everything would, uterus
(1 prover)
Female; PAIN; Boring; ovaries; right (1 prover)
Female; PAIN; Bearing down; menses; during (1 prover)
Female; PAIN; Extending; vagina, to (1 prover)
Female; SEXUAL; Desire; increased (2 provers)


RESPIRATION
Respiration; ASTHMATIC (2 provers)
Respiration; DIFFICULT; Inspiration; on (1 prover)


COUGH
Cough; CONVULSIVE, spasmodic (1 prover)
Cough; DRY (1 prover)
Cough; MUCUS, from (2 provers)
Cough; SUFFOCATIVE (2 provers)




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EXPECTORATION
Expectoration; COLOR; Greenish (1 prover)
Expectoration; COLOR; Yellow (1 prover)
Expectoration; PIECES, in (1 prover)


SPEECH & VOICE
Speech & Voice; VOICE; Squeaking (1 prover)
Speech & Voice; VOICE; Whispering (1 prover)


LARYNX & TRACHEA
Larynx & Trachea; INFLAMMATION; Larynx (2 provers)


THROAT
Throat; PAIN; Burning; throat-pit (1 prover)


CHEST
Chest; ERUPTIONS; Red; axillae (1 prover)
Chest; ITCHING; Mammae (1 prover)
Chest; PAIN; Burning (1 prover)
Chest; PAIN; Burning; axillae (1 prover)
Chest; PAIN; Evening (1 prover)
Chest; PAIN; Mammae; right (1 prover
Chest; PAIN; Stitching; axillae (1 prover)


HEART & CIRCULATION
Heart & Circulation; HEAT; Heart region (2 provers)
Heart & Circulation; PALPITATION heart; Irregular (2 provers)


BACK
Back; COLDNESS, chilliness; Dorsal region; scapulae (1 prover)
Back; ITCHING; Dorsal region; scapulae; between (1 prover)
Back; PAIN; Dorsal region; scapulae; right (2 provers)
Back; PAIN; Lumbar region, lumbago (1 prover)

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Back; PAIN; Lumbar region, lumbago; left (1 prover)
Back; PAIN; Lumbar region, lumbago; standing; agg. (1 prover)
Back; STIFFNESS; Motion; agg. (1 prover)
Back; STIFFNESS; Lumbar region (1 prover)


EXTREMITIES
Extremities; COLDNESS; General; hands and feet (1 prover)
Extremities; CRAMPS; Upper limbs; hands (1 prover)
Extremities; CRAMPS; Lower limbs; thighs; right (1 prover)
Extremities; DRYNESS; General; hands; palms (1 prover)
Extremities; HEAVINESS, tired limbs; Upper limbs; shoulders (1 prover)
Extremities; ITCHING; Upper limbs; forearms; left (1 prover)
Extremities; PAIN; Burning, smarting (1 prover)
Extremities; PAIN; Lower limbs; buttocks, nates; right (1 prover)
Extremities; PAIN; Lower limbs; feet; ball; right (1 prover)
Extremities; PAIN; Lower limbs; feet; left (1 prover)
Extremities; PAIN; Lower limbs; nerves; sciatic(1 prover)
Extremities; PAIN; Lower limbs; nerves; sciatic; left (1 prover)
Extremities; PAIN; Stitching; upper limbs; shoulders; left (1 prover)
Extremities; PARALYSIS; Sensation of; lower limbs; legs (1 prover)
Extremities; STIFFNESS; General; lower limbs; toes; first (1 prover)
Extremities; TINGLING, prickling; Upper limbs; forearms (1 prover)
Extremities; TINGLING, prickling; Upper limbs; hands (1 prover)


SLEEP
Sleep; DISTURBED; Thoughts, from activity of (1 prover)
Sleep; HEAVY (1 prover)
Sleep; INTERRUPTED (1 prover)
Sleep; LIGHT (1 prover)
Sleep; RESTLESS (1 prover)
Sleep; RESTLESS; Turning left to right all night (1 prover)
Sleep; SLEEPINESS; Afternoon; agg.; five pm (1 prover)
Sleep; SLEEPINESS; Afternoon; agg.; two pm (1 prover)


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Sleep; SLEEPLESSNESS; Thoughts, from (1 prover)
Sleep; UNREFRESHING; Morning (1 prover)
Sleep; WAKING; Early, too (1 prover)
Sleep; WAKING; Frequent (1 prover)
Sleep; WAKING; Late (1 prover)
Sleep; WAKING; Midnight; after; four am (1 prover)


SKIN
Skin; DRYNESS (2 provers)
Skin; SOFT feeling (1 prover)

GENERALITIES
Generalities; AIR; Open; desires (1 prover)
Generalities; ENERGY, lots of (3 provers)
Generalities; FOOD and drinks; Alcohol, alcoholic drinks; agg. (1 prover)
Generalities; FOOD and drinks; Fat and rich food; aversion (1 prover)
Generalities; FOOD and drinks; Fruit; desires (1 prover)
Generalities; FOOD and drinks; Grapefruit, desires (1 prover)
Generalities; FOOD and drinks; Soup; desires (1 prover)
Generalities; FOOD and drinks; Sweets; aversion (1 prover)
Generalities; FRAIL, as if body were (1 prover)
Generalities; HEAT; Sensation of (1 prover)
Generalities; HEAT; Sensation of; restlessness, with (1 prover)
Generalities; HEAT; Sensation of; night (1 prover)
Generalities; HEAVINESS; External (1 prover)
Generalities; HEAVINESS; Internal (1 prover)
Generalities; INJURIES, blows, falls and bruises; Dislocation, subluxation
(1 prover)
Generalities; PAIN; Bones (1 prover)
Generalities; RESTLESSNESS, physical (1 prover)
Generalities; SLUGGISHNESS of body (1 prover)
Generalities; SWELLING; Sensation of; internal (1 prover)
Generalities; SLOW manifestation (1 prover)
Generalities; TENSION, tightness; Internal (1 prover)
Generalities; VIBRATING sensation (4 provers)
Generalities; VIBRATING sensation; Energy throughout his body (4 provers)


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Generalities; TINGLING, prickling; Internal (1 prover)
Generalities; WEARINESS (5 provers)
Generalities; WOUNDS; Cuts (1 prover)




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APPENDIX II – RUBRICS FROM MACREPERTORY




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BIBLIOGRAPHY


www.environmentalchemistry.com/yogi/chemistry/dictionary/T02.html#Tra
nsition%20Metals



Jain, Dr. Ramesh D. and Smita, Dr. P. Trivedi, Universal Mineral Materia
Medica, Mumbai: Jain Homoeopathic Pharmacy, 2000.



Sankaran, Dr. Rajan, Sankaran’s Schema. Mumbai: Homeopathic Medical
Publishers, 2005.



Scholten, Dr. Jan, Homeopathy and the Elements. The Netherlands: Stichting
Alonnissos, 1998.



Tantalum-Niobium International Study Centre

40 rue Washington, 1050 Brussels, Belgium

URL: http://www.tanb.org


U.S. DEPARTMENT OF THE INTERIOR

U.S. GEOLOGICAL SURVEY

MINERALS INFORMATION

RESTON, VA, USA

URL: http://minerals.usgs.gov/minerals/pubs/mit/index.html

Maintained by: jgambogi@usgs.gov      Last modification: 23-Mar-2005@09:15




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