Drinking games by dfsiopmhy6


									                                                                                                                                                      wild life

                 Drinking games
                 A sporting challenge turns messy when “entering into the
                 spirit” is taken literally. By Charlotte Reather

                           uring the winter months the coun-          clods of earth went farther than the
                           try sports fanatic is spoilt for choice.   ball. Campo (known thus for his love
                           However, in the summer, one can            of pink cashmere sweaters) couldn’t
                 become restless. That’s why i decided to start       understand why he only hit left and
                 The Annual Cotswold Sporting Challenge.              his feisty girlfriend Cleavage, angry at
                 Comb-over man (COM), my elderly compan-              Campo’s lack of sporting prowess,
                 ion – who can still move like a greased whippet      accused COM and me of cheating. But
                 without the aid of a Zimmer – and i thought          if anyone was ruining things it was
                 we should choose only sports we were best at         Beaver Bonce, who was winning
                 and invite three other competitive couples           everything – longest drive, near-
                 who excelled in every sport apart from those.        est the hole and then the whole
                    now i pride myself in having an extreme           bloody golf competition. We were
                 mixture of friends so i was put out when i dis-      not amused as he and his beautiful
                 covered my flame-haired white-witch biker            wife had also won the shooting. Bah.
                 friend had upped sticks and set up a cat house           That evening we hosted an Eighties
                 on the south coast. i thought this a lovely idyll    dinner party with delights such as prawn
                 until i discovered that it was in fact not a cat-    cocktail, duck à l’orange and Bananas Foster.
                 tery but a brothel. She was looking after pus-       We charged up our tired guests with wine and
                 sies of a very different nature. The summer          announced a surprise round: general know-          light for a spot of show-jumping which, merci-
                 was a busy time for her and her boyfriend,           ledge. naturally, COM and i excelled at this       fully, was without injury, just one grumpy
                 Brian-the-dog, who designs A-frames for a            game. After knocking the spots off the compe-      horse. An awards dinner followed at the local
                 club called the Torture gardens, so they had to      tition, COM was inspired and created a new         pub which continued the Eighties theme with
                 decline our invitation.                              drink to celebrate our victory. “The Binger”, as   rubbish food and crap service.
                    Luckily, our hot young sporty friends from
                 Bat-ter-see-ah could make it and immediately            If we hadn’t exhausted our clever muscles
                 got into training by going to the gym, running
                 and doing other such extreme things.                 over Trivial Pursuit we might have realised
                    We were taking a risk and we knew it. Half
                 of these smug London people had run the
                                                                      ‘The Binger’ drink was not a good idea
                 marathon but we were hoping the smog might
                 have damaged their lungs and that their              it was named, comprised one part Cointreau             COM took charge as MC and allocated the
                 injured tendons and knees weren’t healing.           to one part brandy. Perhaps if COM and i           trophies. Beaver Bonce took everything bar
                    There’s nothing like competition to test          hadn’t exhausted our clever muscles over           general Knowledge – the only round without
                 friendships. During the clay-shoot, the first        Trivial Pursuit we might have realised this        a trophy. The Biggest numpty award went to
                 activity of the weekend, arguments broke out         was not a good idea. Or it was only a good idea    Campo, and Cleavage received a sick-bag for
                 between couples as the boys had rather let the       if we nobbled our guests and just pretended to     Best Party Animal. After a fight over the tennis
                 side down. This was mainly because our fabu-         partake ourselves. Alas, we did neither. The       trophy – which, quite frankly, COM and i
                 lous tutor at the shooting school had enjoyed        result was a rave in the sitting-room to The       should have won – it was stolen from us.
                 helping us girlies by sweeping our hair over         Prodigy’s Firestarter with sofa-surfing and            We have now been summoned to The
                 our shoulders, sensually stroking our necks          headbanging, COM having his shirt ripped off       Annual Battersea Olympics where pathetic
                 before gently clasping us to him and squeezing       by Cleavage and all the female guests carving      sports such as running and swimming are on
                 the trigger together. Suffice to say we scored       their initials into his chest with their finger-   the menu. October’s looking tricky for us,
                 highly and enjoyed rubbing it in. The boys           nails and finally Cleavage being sick out of her   what with autumn hunting, shooting in
                 were po-faced and kicked the dust.                   bedroom window creating, in her own words          Cornwall and salmon on the Spey. i hope we
                    next was seven holes of golf. Clubs were          a “pavement pizza”.                                can make it but we’ll just have to see.
                 thrown down in despair at the length of the              The next day, 27 games of tennis per couple
                 process (how does anyone manage 18 holes of          were not greeted with elation but we pushed

                                                                                                                         Charlotte Reather is winner of the
                 this dull game?) and general ability – many          on through. Afterwards there was still enough      Gloucestershire Glamour Award 2008

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