Reconcile or Move On by thechoice1products


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									Reconcile or Move On, How to Decide

Should I Reconcile? You are older and wiser now, with an experience or two, and a decision to make.

Your desire to reconcile is often a desire to live the dream. To revive your passions and the hopes you
lived in the beginning. To return to 'Go' and start over with a new role of the dice.

Perhaps reconciliation is not your own desire, but forced upon you like a load of dirty laundry. Forced
upon you by silent and sullen children. Forced upon you by a repentant spouse, full of promises and
needs greater than your own. Forced upon you by family, religion, and tradition of the day.

 Should I reconcile? Should I accept the hurt, the pain, and call it a day? Can I face the unknown, or is
there more comfort in this familiar but battered arena? Yes, you are older and wiser now, with a
decision to make.

How to Decide

Take a blank piece of paper, any paper, and if you are inclined you can create a spreadsheet or flow
chart, it matters not the medium. Across the top draw a single line, and down the center draw another
line. At the top on one side write the word STAY. The other side gets MOVE ON.

There is no secret or trick to this; simply write down every reason or excuse for saving or ending your
marriage. This writer remembers being asked to make a list of all the possible uses for the lowly paper
clip. Writing down one use leads to another and another, the list reached 50 ideas within two minuets.
At another table their list numbered 110. The point my friend is to just jot down, pro and con. Your list
might take a life of its own, growing hour by hour, day by day.

At least three things will happen.

- You will come to a decision

- You will have clearer understanding of the issues - You have the beginnings of a course of action.

Staying means taking action and making one more commitments to your marriage. That commitment is
not yours alone. You both have issues to resolve. It is not prudent to take the easy road by ducking the
issues. Face them head on. Pay the price in the currency of hard work and honest communication,
without it couples often fall back into old habits. A recommendable course of action is joint marriage
counseling, and in many cases joint financial counseling.

Moving on means acceptance, and closes the option of going back into the marriage. While it may be
sad, it also frees you to look to your future without the complications of all the "what if's". Moving on
can be like passing Go and collecting your $200, knowing the next trip around the block might be better
than the last.

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