To Get Back with Ex Boyfriend - Get A Commitment

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					Jenny had a problem with her ex boyfriend. To get back together, she needed him to
understand that she required real commitment.
  Brian was an on again off again kind of man. He would get really serious with her
for a while and then back off and say they should see other people. This had happened
three times and Jenny was tired of saying Brian was her boyfriend and then her ex
boyfriend. To get back together this time would require something more.
  So, Jenny sat down and decided what she needed from Brian. She decided that she
would pursue a two prong strategy.
  First of all, she said that they could get back together one more time. If he called
things off after that, she would move on with her life. Brian had to be really serious
this time.
  But the second prong was just as important. Jenny realized that part of the problem
was hers. She always pushed to intensify the relationship too soon. Brian would
comply initially but then ask for more space after a couple of weeks.
  So, Jenny decided that this time, Brian would set the pace for the relationship. She
wouldn 鈥檛 pressure him to make commitments other than not seeing other women.
Other than that fundamental principle, he would control the pace of the relationship.
  When Jenny presented this solution to her ex boyfriend, to get back together with the
understanding that he would control the pace, Brian was quite receptive.
  Brian, like most men, needed to be the pursuer. When Jenny set the pace, she took
away his ability to pursue her. He found that he felt both emasculated and suffocated
at the same time.
  So, Jenny stopped calling him. She let Brian call her. She stopped suggesting date
ideas and let him set things up.
  Jenny found that at first they didn 鈥檛 go out as often as she would have liked. And,
their dates were less 鈥渃 reative 鈥?than they would have been had she planned
them.
  But, she also found that the time they spent together was more meaningful than it
had been in the past. Brian no longer felt like he was a fish out of water when he was
with her. And, he no longer needed to take 鈥渂 reaks 鈥?from her.
  Jenny first needed to decide what she wanted. She knew she wanted Brian and she
knew she wanted him full time.
  But, she also needed to figure out what Brian wanted. He wanted to have space and
he also wanted to be in control of the relationship. Despite being a modern woman,
Jenny realized that this was important to Brian.
  Suddenly, Brian was no longer an ex boyfriend. To get back with your ex, figure out
what you want and what he needs. Then deliver.
  It may not be as difficult as you might anticipate. The main thing is not to storm in
trying to rush the process. It may well take a little time. Going forward a few steps at
a time. Ultimately the rewards will come and patience will have paid off.

				
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posted:2/12/2011
language:English
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