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Blame and the BNP

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					Issue No 21                      Friday 30th October 2009                       travisty.co.uk




                                             The Independent Trinity Newspaper since 2007


                                     COMMENT:                          GOSSIP            2
the verdict on                      Max Menzies on
  iPhone Apps                     the problems facing
                                 international students
                                                                       MISS ADVISE 4
                     6                                       7         SPORT             8




     Blame and the BNP
If we put aside the case of a second year who thought Nick Griffin was the dad from Family Guy, it seems Trinity students
are hardly unknowledgable or apathetic about politics. The rise of the BNP is an issue which many are discussing and here
Jack Lewars poses the question: is this popularity a failure of democracy or a failure of the electorate?

Nick Griffin’s appearance on Question Time has raised
awareness about the BNP, its recent successes and the messages
of discrimination and intolerance which it spreads. However, it
has also led to much self-flagellation from the major political
parties, as they look inwards for the causes of the BNP’s
accomplishments. That this attitude is shared by the public was
demonstrated by the question to Jack Straw about Labour’s
apparent responsibility for the situation, as a result of their
immigration policy. Whilst there is no doubt that it is beneficial
for mainstream politics to ask such questions of itself, I believe
that blaming those in moderate politics for the rise of the BNP
is to ignore the responsibility of the electorate in voting for such
                                                                       BNP voters who say that a stance on one issue, such as
a party. I see the election successes of the far right not so much
                                                                       immigration or unemployment, has secured their vote, whilst
as a failure of centralist parties, but as a damning indictment of
                                                                       appearing unaware that their vote endorses and gives political
the British electorate’s political literacy.
                                                                       space to all the party’s views, even those with which they
                                                                       may disagree. This is clearly a case of poor political literacy.
To vote for the BNP is to vote for a party of racist thugs. This
                                                                       A good understanding of the democratic process (and the
is fairly indisputable: their members speak privately (and
                                                                       importance of one’s vote) would surely not condone voting
all too frequently publicly) in terms of Nazi, fundamentalist
                                                                       a BNP representative into the European Parliament based
“Christian” and/or openly racist ideologies; they associate with
                                                                       simply on the fact that both he and you oppose immigration.
the KKK and with groups of organised football hooligans; and
                                                                       A moderate and discerning voter would realise that, however
their leader proposes policies that include manual labour “chain
                                                                       strongly they share this goal, they must consider and reject (as
gangs” for convicts, the abolition of the Human Rights’ Act
                                                                       a moderate) the methods that the party will use to achieve it.
and the killing of women and children refugees at sea. There
                                                                       Whilst I accept that voting for a party whose views one entirely
are then, it seems, two reasons to vote for the BNP: that you
                                                                       agrees with is virtually impossible in partisan politics, there
yourself are of the same opinion, and are an extremely right-
                                                                       is a clear distinction between, for example, compromising on
wing racist; or that you don’t know the full extent of the party’s
                                                                       Labour’s education policy to support their social agenda and
views, and don’t understand the significance of your vote. In
                                                                       compromising on racist violence to support the abolition of
either case, I would strongly contest that suggestion that the
                                                                       top-up fees.
conduct of Labour, the Conservatives or the Liberal Democrats
is really to blame.
                                                                       Not realising the full extent of the BNP’s views is also a poor
                                                                       excuse, given how easy it is to come by information about
When questioned, a large number of BNP supporters either
                                                                       the party. Anyone with basic critical thinking skills can see
admit to or demonstrate their ignorance of the full implications
of the party’s policies. This is also reflected in the number of                                 Continued on the next page...
                                                                                                 Kindly sponsored by
2 IN BRIef                                                                                                         friday 30th October 2009
                                                                                                                               travisty.co.uk


the propagandist and inconsistent nature of the writing upon          The above may seem to be elitist and clash somewhat with
the party’s website; and there are, in addition, countless            democratic politics; in some respects, it is. However, my
organisations including the mainstream press who consistently         vehemence on this subject should not be misconstrued as a
document, analyse and refute their manifesto and the actions of       suggestion that we condemn and disregard BNP supporters.
their members. If you vote for the BNP and don’t know what            My argument is that we should recognise where the root of the
they stand for, you evidently haven’t done even the most basic        problem lies, which is in poor political literacy. If one accepts
research, which I again feel is to your shame, rather than that of    this, then effective political education and possibly democratic
alternative parties.                                                  reform is seen as the solution, rather than expecting Labour
                                                                      or the Conservatives to encompass the BNP support base or
It is true that a large number of BNP voters claim that they          pander to its message of fear and hate.
cannot find any sort of adequate representation in mainstream
parties and so feel driven towards more extreme views.                Political illiteracy is no more the fault of the voters than illiteracy
However, I feel that these people are either voting for a party       is the fault of someone who has never been taught to read, but
they don’t really support or occupy a political position that         it is also not the fault of equivalent policies from mainstream
should never be represented by the traditional parties. Since         parties. Identifying this as a cause undermines much of the
the representation that ‘genuine’ BNP voters require is a party       misguided criticism of central politics and British democracy
proposing an immediate cessation of immigration, the return           that the BNP has provoked. It has been said frequently since
of capital punishment and the declaration of war on the IRA,          the European Parliament Elections that the BNP’s success is a
I’m glad they don’t feel represented. Anyone who really thinks        failure of the democratic system, both in giving moderate voters
this is manifestly constructing their views from a position of        a voice and in reassuring the voting public on issues of identity,
fundamental and widespread ignorance, not to mention a total          foreign policy and immigration. I think it is in fact a failure of
lack of humanity. That there is an expectation for central politics   the electorate to adequately discern the party, what it stands for,
to pander to such voters strikes me as crazy; they should be on       and the consequences of those views.
the fringes and not in the debate.


   BA      Letter From Our New Chaplain
Murmurings                                  I arrived at Trinity as Chaplain in September after three years at a parish
                                    church in Highgate, London. Prior to my time in London, I served a parish in
Though autumn time is bearing down, Topeka, Kansas. My early years were spent in the wilds of Montana, doing things
    And long nights bearing in,     that Montanans do, like fly fishing, skiing, hiking, and rafting. From Montana, my
     Love, it seems, is in the air, family moved to other sparsely populated states with long borders on Canada.
      For Trinity’s graduate ring.
                                                    I read music as an undergraduate and focused primarily on organ
 Freshers canoodling in dark a room,       performance. As is possible in American universities, I managed to double-major
                                           in music and theology. Though I had never nurtured any desire to end up a cleric –
        Is hardly a rare scene.
                                           quite the opposite, in fact – I spent four more years after my undergraduate course of
  But the BA soc is scarce immune -        study reading theology for a Master’s Degree and in preparation for ordination.
   They know which ones I mean!
                                                    My initial challenge at Trinity is to meet as many of the students, staff and
 But some want youth and duly chase        Fellows as possible. Please do not hesitate to stop me and introduce yourself and, of
       The wrong sort of fresher.          course, you are always welcome to come by my rooms (M6 Blue Boar Court).
   A gaggle of girls from too near a
                decade,                              I wish you a productive and enjoyable Michaelmas Term.
      Were spied last BA dinner.
                                                                       Christopher Stoltz

  The queen herself has duly ditched
      Her former one-and-only,
And suitors a-Roused by princely prize,                     Overheard in Trinity...
    Hope she won’t long be lonely.                      >> “I was collecting leaves...” Do you buy this excuse from a
                                                       notoriously controversial fellow, caught amongst the Fellows’
                                                       foliage by an early morning exerciser?
friday 30th October 2009
travisty.co.uk                                                                                                                    3
How Could You Be So Hartless?
 Georgia Hart
 A PuN TOO fAR?

I hope that I am not revealing something worthy of concern,           and trust that anyone espousing potentially offensive material
but in my experience it is fair to say that the general strain        in the name of comedy here must not believe such narrow-
of humour in Cambridge very often pushes, or rather                   minded, obtuse and obviously ridiculous dogma?
sledgehammers, the accepted boundaries of social norms.
“What’s worse than seven babies in one garbage bin? One               This can be dubious, particularly when the source is obscured:
baby in seven garbage bins...” “McDonalds has just brought            in the name of research I typed ‘inappropriate joke’ into
out a ‘Michael Jackson Tribute Burger’; forty year old meat           Google, and, although my safe-search is on high, the first hit
stuffed between new buns...” We’ve all heard the like as I am         was http://www.racist-jokes.com/. I warn readers that what
sure that anyone who has attended a few Magpie and Stumps             follows may offend: their tag line was “Help racist-jokes.
can testify (particularly when Emma Woolerton spoke – just            com, and spread the hate! The #1 site for racist jokes, nigger
for the record, the sole utterance of ‘minge’ is not amusing.)        jokes, gook jokes, fag jokes, chink jokes...” I think you get the
                                                                      picture. This site sold t-shirts with slogans such as: “Arrest
Certainly a number of my friends from elsewhere find some             black babies before they become criminals”; “Slavery: gets shit
of our usual jokes rather surprising, if not genuinely a bit          done”; “What about all the GOOD stuff Hitler did?”
gross, and I don’t think this is a unique phenomenon. A
friend of mine tried to convince some now fellow London
students that a comic side could be found to the sad news
that a student died whilst clubbing in Freshers’ Week, when
the club-night concerned was called ‘The first day of the rest
of your life’. I’m not going to lie, I found that irony worthy
of laughter: a giggle or a smirk at least. They, however, were
apparently rather shocked at the insinuation that this episode
could bear any relation to comedy, feeling that someone had
died and that deserved sympathy. And yet, a number of us,
without disregarding the dreadful and distressing elements
of this story, could definitely see the funny side too: are we
just heartless? This led me to wonder whether Cambridge
students have perhaps reached such a level of intellectual
cynicism that no topic is sacrosanct; anything and everything
can be deconstructed in the (sometimes desperate) pursuit of          Worn with irony by a cocky, Simon Amstell type, these could
comedy.                                                               be entertaining, but what about the creators and runners of
                                                                      the site? Scum, or advocates of free speech? I think we all
In this academic hub, a forefront of forward-thinking research        understand the slippery slope concept; what is acceptable? If
and innovation, many base and offensive strains of comedy             we dug deeper, we might be surprised at the genuine beliefs
run wild, but they do get laughs, and so anything in the guise of     that could have gone under the radar because we live in a
a joke seems to be fair play. Largely, I am completely on board,      realm where pretty much any topic passes as comedy.
but I can see pot holes along the way. Everyone’s tolerance
differs, and one man’s quip is another’s cause for authoritative      There is a long tradition of Cambridge comedians satirising
action: can or should a line ever be drawn? An instance in point:     sensitive subjects though; just check out Fry and Laurie’s
a guy I (unfortunately) knew from Johns dressed as Madeleine          ‘Fascion’ and ‘American Ass sketches’ for a bit of Hitler being
McCann for every college bop – this was a joke inspired by            taken lightly and making fun of the most powerful nation
their Freshers’ Week theme, ‘Under the Sea’. I think it is safe       on the planet. I judge those who would have a problem with
to say that there is more wrong with this than the predilection       comedy like this, not least because, my God, it is funny. And
of a beefy rugby boy for dressing up in girls’ clothes, but clearly   clever. But is that the rule? Are offensive jokes, be it sexist,
for his social group this was Izzard on speed. In a world where       racist, etc., only okay if they are funny and witty, as well as
people lose jobs because after dinner conversation turns a bit        palpably non-serious? Does it take a certain IQ for it to be
‘anti-immigrant’, should we, apparently England’s brightest           socially acceptable to laugh at such repartee rather than being
minds, take more responsibility for what we laugh at?                 blasted for it? Or am I intellectualising this all too much and,
                                                                      just like how explaining a joke deadens all laughter, such
Casual racism, for example, seems to have been accepted in            analysis could kill comedy? Shouldn’t we all just accept that a
general conversation, mainly because we trust that, along with        joke is a joke and as long as someone’s laughing – even if it is
all the skills required for getting into Cambridge, a relatively      the teller – people who don’t like it should just butt out?
open mind and more than two brain cells are part of the
package. Surely this removes the likelihood of a student who          Perhaps we think that in this enlightened environment, we
believes in racial hierarchy. Only the other night at formal          all know where people are coming from, can handle the most
someone was overheard saying “all Chinese people look the             dangerous turns of phrase or the liveliest play on words, and
same...oh but there are two types; men and women.” This               therefore are allowed to spout sarcastic misogynism or ironic
person was not Chinese, and there were Chinese students               racial slurs which only mock the stereotype (Sasha Baron
around, but no one seemed to mind, whereas I am sure that             Cohen is very popular here). I’m not altogether sure. Some
similarly generalist, diminishing remarks could easily trigger        may think that they can pull off such jokes where others would
a fight in many other areas. The trust that this individual was       be damned, but then vaguely elitist arrogance has always
speaking completely in jest is important, not least because a         been a strong vibe in Cambridge. Let’s just remember that
gag taken out of context is generally bad sport. But can we only      the Enlightenment did coincide with international slavery...
laugh with assurance when we know the budding comedian                and ‘The Aristocrats’ classic, an apparent staple to any daring
is categorically joking, then their personal views are definitely     comedian’s set, only has one punch-line, which mocks perhaps
just and unbigoted, or, as intelligent individuals, do we assume      the biggest ass of all.
4 feATuRes
                                                    Miss Advise...
                                                                                                                                       friday 30th October 2009
                                                                                                                                                   travisty.co.uk



What’s Hot                                          Travisty’s resident agony aunt
>> Tcsu enTs                                        Dear Miss Advise,
So far this term TCSU Ents have been a
great success. We have already been treated
                                                    It seems like I’m getting a bit of a reputation for being a slut and
to a great Freshers’ WPR and Burrell’s Ent,
with plenty of gossip as a result. By the
                                                    I just don’t know how to get rid of it. Last year I think I was quite
sound of things, the WPR is the place to be         well behaved, apart from the May Week incident(s) of course, so
if you’re looking to pick up a fresher. Let’s       I really don’t know where this has come from. I mean, yeah I’m
hope this year’s Halloween WPR keeps up             popular with the guys and every time I go on a swap (which
the trend and is as successful for TCSU Ents        is at least once a week) I come back with wild stories and hot
as the last one.                                    gossip... but I’m so not a slut! If anything, I’m a feminist - I just think I
                                                    have the right to flaunt what is so very female about me!
>> Free coFFee in The Bar
Now as we’re students, it’s well known that
we’ll pretty much take anything if it’s for free.   It doesn’t help that one of my ‘friends’ like always goes on about it,
A week of free coffee: get in. That having been     whether in real life, on Facebook or even calling me a “SLOOOT” at
said, the new sandwiches/coffee situation in        Magpie & Stump! I think they’re all just jealous. They’re just not cool
the bar at lunchtime has injected some much         enough to have some guy, wearing only a t-shirt, removed by a porter
needed life into the place. It actually seems to    from outside their staircase. Not that I had anything to do with
be becoming a place where Trinitarians are          him being naked from the waist down or anything. Gosh I hope
going to hang out, chill and chat with their
                                                    the porter gave him something to wear back to his college... But
friends. Maybe something good has come of
the temporary kitchen situation after all.          anyway, I just like to enjoy myself, surely I can do that without
                                                    being labelled a slut?

                                                    Not-Such-A-Nympho in New Court



                                                    Dear Not-Such-A-Nympho in New Court,

                                                    It sounds like you’re certainly a fan of having fun,
                                                    especially with the boys. While I’m sure the term ‘slut’
>> quesTion Time                                    is undeserved, I would imagine you have a fair idea
For once people actually seemed to be               where it’s come from, considering some of the detail in
interested in politics. JCRs were packed            your letter. You’re a young student, so there’s certainly
                                                    no problem with you having a good time while you’re
with avid viewers. The Question Time
                                                    at university, even if it is with multiple guys. Others
Twitter page was getting a new follower             can have their opinions about you, but anyone who
every second. Judging by the amount of chat         tells you how you should live your life is being overly
about it on Facebook, it clearly caused a lot       judgmental.
of controversy. Just what the BBC wanted.
                                                    If you do want to quell the negative sentiment
>> Tcs-u-Turn                                       towards you surrounding your behaviour, you
After this column suggested that a meeting          might want to just keep a bit quieter about some of your conquests. Certainly when
room that you couldn’t book was a TCS-              it gets to the stage where porters are removing naked boys from outside your New
Useless idea, it was pleasing to read Oli           Court staircase, I think maybe you could tone it down a bit - though I’m sure any
                                                    onlookers rather enjoyed the spectacle. And maybe keep it to yourself and those
McFarlane’s announcement that there had
                                                    closest to you (including your neighbour... who I imagine has purchased some ear
been a U-turn in policy and it will now             plugs by now).
be bookable. Hoorah for the power of the                                                                       Email Miss Advise
press! Experts are also calling it a victory        Yours,                                                  with your problems at
for common sense.
                                                    Miss Advise
                                                                                                                                    travistymissadvise
                                                                                                                                    @googlemail.com
friday 30th October 2009
travisty.co.uk                                                                         feATuRes 5
Jack Will Not’s What’s Not
Jason ehrhart
THe Oracle                                                                          >> new FaceBook
Jack Wills – this modern bastion of        and blue Carrety). One low light in      Ok, so two issues here: 1) stop changing
the well heeled, the wannabes, and         particular is the hilarious Partmann     it, because it’s just annoying; 2) why
the most ‘rah’ of students country         knitwear, which looks as though it       do people have to get so annoyed about
                                                                                    Facebook being updated? It’s just a social
wide has recently launched its new         was knitted for you by your grandma
                                                                                    networking site for God’s sake! Get a life.
‘Term Handbook’, so I felt it was my       for Christmas. A grandma that finds
duty, given the brand’s popularity in      your presence sickening. Sickening       >> alesha dixon on
Cambridge and my role as purveyor          to the point where she can’t stand to    ‘sTricTly’
of fashion advice, to cast my critical     look at you without a bottle of sherry   Yes, she’s fit. Yes, she doesn’t speak English
eye over the new range.                    in her system.                           correctly. Yes, the BBC is clearly trying
                                                                                    to attract a younger audience. But what
Much like Abercrombie & Fitch,                                                      exactly does she know about dancing – I
seasons do not bear much distinction                                                thought she was a singer? Did she even
in Jack Wills, often the greatest                                                   win? It’s so so so scandalous that they got
variation between polo shirts being                                                 rid of that other woman just because she
                                                                                    was a bit ‘past her best’.
the relocation of a motif, but why
spend thousands on design processes
                                                                                    >> posTal sTrikes
when people lap up the same old     Another bugbear which seems                     The most recent bout of postal strikes
                                    to transcend gender is the gilet, a
designs each season? Still this term’s                                              have been heralded by some as the
Men’s knitwear is excellent with theconcept I fail to understand. I once            final death toll for that archaic form of
centre piece being a Langworth Fair had the pleasure of being given a               communication, the written letter. No
Isle v-neck jumper, which may make  Jack Wills gilet when I was cold and            one actually writes post nowadays what
most of those daring enough to wear it certainly kept my chest warm.                with the communication revolution of
it look a little like a wartime evacuee
                                    However, the first place I get cold, my         email and social networking sites, right?
returning home, but I certainly findarms, remained in a sub-zero state.             Wrong. I’m sorry, but the post still plays
that part of its charm. Most of the Quite ingeniously, arm protection               an important role in our society – vital
                                                                                    information about doctor’s appointments
                                    is not included in the gilet. Maybe I
hoodies are uninspired, almost all of
                                                                                    and test results are still sent via the post,
                                    should just put some form of sock up
the crew neck sweaters should be burnt,
                                                                                    as are applications for jobs and schools.
                                    my arms to keep them warm (which is
and their ‘designer’ should be blasted                                              Let’s not let the postal strikes undermine
                                    great because JW has a rather choice
into space in order to contemplate his                                              the importance of our postal service.
heinous crimes against fashion. The selection of those as well), especially
                                    seeing as Jack Wills insists on piling
most ridiculous part of the collection
                                    clothing on their models with reckless
is the Red Coat Tails, which are about
as useful as a chocolate fire guard.abandon to the point where they look
                                    like they’re about to buckaroo. This is
Womenswear is not much better, clearly not a trend adopted by some of
with their one saving grace being our Freshers, who have embraced the
the fantastic selection of blazers less-is-more approach with gusto at
and jackets (especially the Tallian every conceivable occasion...

The Travisty Committee                     This Issue’s Contributors                >> chrisTmas lighTs
                                                                                    They’ve been gradually appearing all over
                                           Max Menzies           Chris Deacon       Cambridge since Week 2 of Michaelmas
Editor.......................Ellie Reeds   Natasha Pesaran       Jack Lewars        Term. Not good. It’s still only October for
                                           Christopher Stoltz    Jason Ehrhart
Deputy Editor........Jase Taylor           Rory Graham-Watson    Georgia Hart
                                                                                    goodness sake! Why do they have to ram
Webmaster............Pete Calvert          Douglas Brumley       Bo Tian
                                                                                    it down our throats already!?
Treasurer............Nathan Kettle         Naomi Taschimowitz
6         GADGeTs
                                                                                                         friday 30th October 2009
                                                                                                                     travisty.co.uk




                                      iPhone Apps:
          The Lowdown on What to Download
Bo Tian
TRINITy’s TecHNO WHIzz
                                                               We say: Stanza offers an enjoyable reading experience with
                                                               its content fetching and bookmarking systems. More than 28
Michaelmas Term has just started, and we saw the Apple iPhone 000 free books and documents from Project Gutenberg can be
as the most popular and fastest growing mobile phone for downloaded seamlessly. Latest and best-selling books can also
students. Currently, there are well over 80 000 downloadable be bought from the integrated Stanza store.
applications (83 656 at the time of writing) to enhance
the functions of the iPhone. That is an astounding number
considering that there were fewer than 8 000 applications at                        Stupidest:
this time last year. We aim to show you how to use your iPhone
smartly, as well as how to kill time the stupid way. Without
further ado, let’s dive in.                                             3. iPickuplines

                     Smartest:                                   They say: Next time you are at a bar with like-minded singles
                                                                 or see a girl you wouldn’t mind dating simply break out
        3. skype                                                 iPickupLines and let the laughs begin!

They say: Skype gives you free calls and instant messages to We say: You can pick up lines like: “If you were the new burger
anyone else on Skype. You can also call landlines and mobiles at McDonalds you would be the Mcgorgeous!” “If you were a
and send SMS anywhere in the world at great rates.              booger I’d pick you first.” “Baby you’re like a student and I am
                                                                like a math book, you solve all of my problems.” She would not
We say: For a significant number of students, home and be amused.
international alike, Skype has become the way for long distance
communication. With its free service and high quality, Skype             2. Beer counter
has outgrown traditional telephone providers to become the
largest carrier of international calls.                         They say: This app allows you to count your drinks in a very
                                                                easy way: for each drink, you just make a line in one of the four
          2. last.fm                                            areas (beer, wine, cocktails or non-alcoholic drinks).

They say: Listen to more than 5 million tracks for free with     We say: After getting drunk, you would just leave your
last.fm on your iPhone.                                          expensive phone in the pub, right?

We say: last.fm is a combination of music and social                      1. iPint
networking service that records your listening habits, and
recommends songs that the program thinks you may like.
This is especially recommended for those who travel to the
Cavendish Laboratory often.

                                   1. stanza

                          They say: Read electronic books
                          on your iPhone or iPod Touch!
                          Lexcycle Stanza brings the eBook       They say: Free beer on your iPhone. Free refills too.
                          revolution to your pocket with a
                          reading interface that is unrivaled    We say: Don’t be fooled by the claim of free beer, because
                          in its clarity and ease of use. With   it’s simply not true. The electricity needed to download and
                          millions of downloads around           transfer it costs money, the battery needs to be recharged, and
                          the world, Stanza has become an        that costs money too. And you don’t get any beer in exchange,
                          iPhone phenomenon.                     because you really get a picture of a beer.
                                                                                   cOMMeNT                                 7
friday 30th October 2009
travisty.co.uk




                              NO ENTRY?!
Now it’s really time to clench up our fists and have a nice rant and, trust me, this rant will be one that puts everyone
ranting about student loans firmly in their place. Behold the perspective of an international student, a considerable threat
to your country….
Max Menzies                                                   if they had half a brain they’d be authors or artists or
sTReWTH MATe!                                                 scientists, not bureaucrats. Just to list a few hopeless errors:
In January this year, I got my offer. For some reason, first, my visa was issued to the wrong date. Next, I had to
which the college will most likely come to regret, it was mail all my (original) documents to Canberra. Naturally,
unconditional. So I thought to myself, having already been these are very valuable, so I sent them in a waterproof bag,
admitted to Cambridge, surely the 800 year old institution and included another waterproof bag, asking them to use
would have enough influence with the UK Border Agency it. They didn’t. It rained heavily in Sydney that week. My
(UKBA) to make my admission into the UK a nice easy electronic passport was VERY lucky to survive.
process. After all, it has enough influence to light up the
Empire State Building! WRONG, SISTER.                         These are only a fraction of the trials I had to go through:
                                                              incomprehensible forms, ridiculous fees, incompetent
For the next 6 months, I was treated as a terrorist. To blunderings. Worse still, the UKBA mean business. Being
put everything into context, the UK has thrown open its an Australian, I did not have to report to the police when I
borders to any citizen of the EU, which has led to a large entered the UK. However, some countries are considered
immigration of European workers, who enter the UK and so filthy, dangerous, and wretched, that immigrating
take jobs (I do hate to use the word “take” though). In order students are required to report to the police within one
to appear to have a stance on this “problem”, Labour and week of their arrival, or face deportation, a criminal
the UKBA have significantly restricted access to the UK conviction, and a whopping great fine.
from outside Europe. Yes, including the Commonwealth.
Keeping people out, who want to enter the UK to live a
better life, is both undemocratic and uncompassionate,
but that’s a different story.

What my frustration is about is the ridiculous effort they
made me go through for absolutely no reason in my visa
applications. First of all, I can’t work full time in term. So
that deals with the issue of me stealing all your jobs. Next,
they do a thorough check up on me, to make sure I have
no criminal convictions. That’s alright, I suppose (not
that potential suicide bombers have convictions: once
suicide bombers commit their crimes, they’re not around
for much longer!). And taking all sorts of biometric scans
was inconvenient and a little too 1984 for my liking, but I The UKBA’s attitude to its borders is really a lot like Basil
suppose it’s justifiable. So that should have been it: I’m not Fawlty’s attitude to a hotel: everything would run so
a criminal and I’m not going to “take” “your” jobs.            swimmingly if it weren’t for the damn guests!! Likewise,
                                                               the UKBA clearly detests people. But people are assets. A
So why did I have to pay in excess of A$400 (that’s 200 hardworking immigrant who struggles desperately to enter
pounds) for my applications? Why, every time I rang the the UK is going to make a damn good citizen! He or she is
High Commission in Canberra, did they demand a fee for going to work really hard, set up a business, contribute to
answering my query about their incomprehensible forms? the economy, and his or her children will employ others
And why, if I want to do Part III, will I have to leave the and create new jobs! These are really good people to have
country, apply again, pay again, just for the fourth year?     in an economy. Let ‘em in. Let ‘em in. Let ‘em in. We’re
                                                               assets, we work hard, we’re awesome, let us in.
The worst thing is that every mindless bureaucrat in this
system is so incompetent. To be fair, that is expected: Pretty please?
8 sPORT                                                                                                           friday 30th October 2009
                                                                                                                              travisty.co.uk




            FOCUS: Trinity Runners




              Rory Graham-Watson                                                       Naomi Taschimowitz
   Ranked 13th in his age group for his major event.                        Achieved a Full Blue in her first ever Varsity match.

I’m an 800m runner for Windsor, Slough, Eton and                          I discovered my love of running when I ran my first cross
Hounslow Athletics Club, and for Cambridge. The 800m is                   country at the age of eight. However I didn’t get into the sport
a mixture between a sprint and a run, so it needs both speed              seriously until I was about fifteen. So far my highlights have
and fitness to be done properly, which makes for a reasonably             been running in the London mini marathon, representing my
demanding training regime. The world record is 1 minute                   county at the English Schools Track and Field Championships
and 41 seconds, which means that every 100 metres was run                 and running in the Varsity match.
in less than 13 seconds - that’s a lot faster than most people
can run one 100m race. I’ve obviously got a fair way to go to             This historic race, held on Wimbledon Common every
match that, but one can always aim high. Athletes tend to                 December, has been one of my best bits simply because it’s so
                                                                          unique and it’s a great feeling to be competing against Oxford.
be quite snobby about ‘jogging’, but luckily I don’t have to
                                                                          Although I was pleased when I was awarded full blues for the
spend too much time spent simply churning out the miles.
                                                                          race, it was the team element to it that really made it special
                                                                          – even though I think many non-runners see it as a solely
The big events for me this year are the Varsity Match and                 individual sport. The low point is of course injury, which
the National Championships, so there’s plenty of incentive                happens to nearly every runner at some point, and is something
to work hard in the meantime. The Cambridge Men’s team                    I’m struggling with at the moment. Currently I’m Trinity’s
won last year by a record margin, so fingers crossed for a                women’s captain for cross country and would love to see more
repeat next May!                                                          college runners out competing in the inter-college league.




 TC Photo Society


“
           I took this photograph while hiking at Wilsons
 Promontory on the south coast of Australia. A bushfire had
 ripped through the entire region only weeks before I visited,
 leaving a black and apparently lifeless landscape. The flower and
 spider pictured are the first visible signs of life emerging after the
 fire and are a testament to the resilience of Australian flora and
 fauna.

 Lovely.

 Thanks to Douglas Brumley and TCPS for this image.

				
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