2 Cow Economy: Super metaphorical Stuff

					This is just too funny not to share. I didn't write it, so don't yell at me, however, it is darn funny. If you read to the end, I have added some industry related "cow" economic points that I did write, and as such, you can yell at me. 21 Economic Models Explained

SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour. COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk. FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk. NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you. BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income. SURREALISM You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead. ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND VENTURE CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull. A FRENCH CORPORATION You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide. A GERMAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A SWISS CORPORATION You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them. A CHINESE CORPORATION You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. You worship them. A BRITISH CORPORATION You have two cows. Both are mad. AN IRAQI CORPORATION Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least you are now a Democracy. AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

IT Economics Explained

Sun Microsystems: You have two cows. You hire 1100 farmers to make sure the cows produce the best possible milk. You give the milk away for free.

IBM You have two cows. Once cow makes milk. One cow makes beef. Both cows are patented. The sales force sells on the merits of the patents. No one knows what they are supposed to buy.

XIV IBM has two cows. XIV claims to own them and as such can do whatever they want with them.

HP You have two cows. You turn them into a highly efficient growth machine which soon gives you 2 million cows. You corner the cow market. Cisco then unveils their super-uber chocalate milk producing cow. Damn Cisco.

Dell You have two cows. Actually, you don't have any cows, but you do own the milk processing and logistics system. Screw the cows.

EMC You have two cows. Both produce consistent output of milk. You fire one of the cows as an example to make the other cow work harder. The surviving cow produces volume but not superior milk. You charge a premium and sell twice as much.

NetApp You have two cows. Your cows' milk is produced in a completely predictable manner for many years. You win cheese awards in France. You are chosen as the royal "cream" in Saudi Arabia. Your cows' invent a self-pasteurizing process and vote you as the "best farm to live on in the world." Wall St. calls you a one trick pony and hammers your stock.

Cisco You have two cows. Your milk is mediocre, but very expensive. You team up with EMC and double the price. You sell more than everyone else.

Data Domain You have two cows. Now you have one cow. Where did the other go?

Riverbed You have two cows. You show people you can shove both cows through a drinking straw. Cisco tells everyone they do the same with their cows. The straw blows up when they try.

Oracle You have two cows. Larry Ellison funds a company to commoditize barns, grass, grain, farmers, and plastic jugs.

HDS You have two cows. They are superior in every way, but you can't get the value you deserve for them at auction because your 245 slide powerpoint has put the bidders to sleep.

VMware You have two cows. You charge me for 6 cows but I think I have 12, so somehow I'm ok with that.

Microsoft You have two cows. The cows only milk properly for a short time, then require a nap. You get paid everytime someone buys a virtual cow from VMware. You win.

RedHat You have two cows. They are much better than Microsoft's cows. No one cares.

Apple You have two cows. They also are much better than Microsoft's cows, and no one cares except the loyal farmers who deal with the cows all day. You build a new interface to milk the cows instead of grabbing onto udders. You learn to make the cows sing and make cowphones. The farmers become a cult. You win.


				
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Description: This is a hell of fun!! explained the 2 cow strategy from different viewpoints...