Get documents about "The joy of
Document Sample
SPIRIT
Often, savouring
the build-up to
a holiday in an
unknown place
gives as much
pleasure as the
trip itself
The joy of
anticipation
Y
ou’re 11 years old. In our instant-gratification culture, moments of genuine
In one week, you’ll
break for Easter and expectation are few and far between. Laura Bond reveals
you are counting why anticipation is so worth looking forward to
down the days. You
can feel the tantalising bite of the
waves on your feet in Cornwall, But is anticipation becoming a it!” because young people are
you can visualise, in minute lost art? Paul Rozin, professor of so used to using Google to find
detail, the conversations you’ll psychology at the University of answers instantly.’
have during sleepovers with Pennsylvania, thinks so. ‘We’re
your best friend, you can taste reducing anticipatory pleasure Resistance is not futile
the crackling sweetness of the by allowing people gratification Walter Mischel, a psychology
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on holidays. Silent squeals of expect everything on demand – importance of delaying gratifica-
excitement rush from your belly instant meals and instant mes- tion in an experiment he started
to your throat as you lie awake in saging, along with growing up in the 1960s. He offered hungry
breathless anticipation. and sex – we’re losing the joy four-year-olds a marshmallow,
Anticipatory pleasure is one that comes with anticipation. Is but told them if they could wait
of the most underrated and our road-runner society leaving for a researcher to return after
under-examined emotions. It al- a generation with a sad, ‘seen-it- running an errand, they could
lows us to abandon the banality all’ contempt? have two marshmallows. Those
of the everyday and revel in a ‘If you’re used to snapping who could wait the 15 minutes
perfect future, seeing the most your fingers and getting what would be demonstrating the
unlikely possibilities in our you want, you’ll have problems ability to delay gratification and
mind’s eye. Recently, researchers when you face something that control impulse. Decades later,
found just anticipating mirthful takes hard work,’ says Rozin. the differences between those
laughter boosts health-protect- He’s noticed his students are able to resist temptation and
ing hormones and reduces becoming more impatient. those who ate the marshmallow
stress. Another study, led by the ‘You’ll often hear, “I don’t want right away were dramatic. The
National University of Singa- to work for a week to understand resisters were more likely to
pore, found prize-winners prefer
the anticipation of wondering
what they will win, rather than
Simply anticipating mirthful laughter boosts
finding out immediately. health-protecting hormones and reduces stress
[[1L]] . Psychologies . Month 2009 Psychologies . January 2010 . [[2R]]
SPIRIT
Add more
anticipation
to your life
1
have successful marriages, I made a conscious effort not to Remember the past to “upstairs outside” – which
higher incomes, greater career make the same mistake,’ says Recalling past pleasures can enhance meant you allowed the boy to
satisfaction and better health; Vanessa. ‘Although I had imag- anticipation. Marvelling at how you and touch your fully clothed breasts
the marshmallow-grabbers were ined cradling her in my arms and your friend randomly met on the bus or – to “downstairs inside”. Many
more troubled, indecisive and being overcome with emotion, remembering how you giggled hysterically women who lived through that
had lower job satisfaction. on the day, I forced myself to with your sister-in-law the last time you caught time said the build-up was exqui-
But if we spend too long acknowledge I was going to be up can help transport you to a positive mindset site, so exciting that by the time
putting off pleasure, it can exhausted and that I might not and make you more likely to look forward to the boy was actually stimulating
lead to over-anticipation, which bond with her right away.’ the experience, rather than wishing you were a naked part of your body you
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inevitably ends in disappoint- ‘Anticipation involves a delu- at home on the sofa. were totally hot to trot.’
PHOTOGRAPHS: ELIZABETH GIBSON AT LHA REPRESENTS. STYLIING: LILIA TONCHEVA-O’ROURKE. HAIR AND MAKE-UP: ROSIE VON SPRECKELSEN AT CAROL HAYES MANAGEMENT. MODEL: SOPHIA M AT
ment. We can wait months to sion that the result will be Through a combination of
2
see a concert, only to realise really great,’ says David Gard, Talk about it peer pressure, porn and aggres-
Numerous psychological studies show
we’re stuck behind a pillar, or professor of psychology at San sive marketing (capitalising on
that if we can verbally articulate what
save the most tasty morsel on Francisco State University. we like about something, it increases
adolescents’ desire to grow up
our plate till last, only to find it’s ‘That’s not necessarily bad – it’s our appreciation of it. If you can describe in
now), kids are finding out about
cold. Vanessa, 32, an events a key part of motivation.’ detail what it is you’re looking forward to, you’re life’s pleasures before they have
manager, spoiled her wedding Finding pleasure in the ‘before’ more likely to enjoy the actual experience. time to ask – or marvel about –
day by setting expectations too is not just about optimism, it what they might be like. ‘How
3
high. ‘I’d started thinking about also requires a vivid imagina- Be open to rewards this instant-gratification culture
table decorations before my hus- tion. ‘People who can anticipate ‘There are potential rewards within the will influence our quality of life is
band, Mark, had even proposed things more easily are those who most mundane experiences and some hard to predict,’ says Rozin. It’s
to me. Growing up, I’d never can conjure very detailed images people are much better at spotting certainly an area begging for
had a big birthday party, and of the experience,’ says Gard. those benefits than others,’ says professor of more research. But whatever
psychology David Gard. We might realise one
I guess I decided my wedding was ‘That’s what advertisers do the future may bring, we can
gym session isn’t going to change our body, but
going to make up for all those really well. They try to bring to we can motivate ourselves to go by imagining
revel in the present by bringing
missed celebrations,’ she says. life the taste of the first scoop of how much more we’ll enjoy our dinner, or
a little more anticipatory joy
‘But on the day, I couldn’t help ice-cream or bite of a doughnut.’ reminding ourselves we’ll have the chance to anticipatory pleasure is an dating, part of the initial thrill into our lives. We can pursue
thinking Mark’s vows weren’t listen to that new album while we train. ‘Those important bonding ritual in all lies in slowly discovering the a new sport or skill in which
very romantic, my make-up was The joy of sharing people who are responsive to rewards in the relationships and can play a secrets of what sex and relation- the rewards are hard-won, or
too heavy and the cake didn’t Savouring plans with a partner environment generally experience more powerful role in the connections ships are all about. we can manipulate or prolong
turn out quite how I imagined.’ is one of our favourite pastimes. anticipatory pleasure,’ says Gard. we make. If we anticipate get- ‘People who grew up in the our anticipation by spacing out
According to Fred Bryant and Indeed, a recent Psychologies ting on well with someone, 1950s and before often talk about the time we have between our
4
Joseph Veroff, authors of Savor- survey found talking about the Don’t over-plan chances are they’ll pick up on spending months, even years, in favourite activities.
ing (Psychology Press), the way future or past with a partner was There’s a difference between planning that and respond positively. that delicious state of tension, Ultimately, it is a figure from
and savouring. If you’re forever focusing
to prevent anticipation spoiling readers’ most enjoyable type While anticipation involves creeping ever so slowly towards our childhoods who perhaps
on future consequences, it’s difficult to
the ultimate experience is to of conversation. In Savoring, build an appetite for a future experience, and
picturing what a future experi- “going all the way”,’ says sex captures the joy of anticipation
‘forget expectations once the Bryant and Veroff write, ‘We you can also miss out on the joy of the present.
ence will be like, being uncertain therapist Bettina Arndt. ‘There better than anyone – Winnie the
event occurs’. If we make direct may become more playful in the If this sounds like you, try doing something of the finer details is an essential used to be a grading system Pooh: ‘Although eating honey
comparisons between previous presence of others than when we really different – book a new restaurant or see part of the waiting game. For where you went from chaste was a very good thing to do,’
hopes and the present reality, are alone, and this increased a play or band you’d never normally see. When example, when we first start kissing to proper smooching, writes AA Milne, ‘there was a
we increase the chance of feeling playfulness makes us more you know nothing about an upcoming event, moment just before you began
bitter if the experience doesn’t
live up to our vision. ‘When
spontaneous, more creative,
and more expressive of joy while
it’ll be hard to expect or prepare too much –
and you might look forward to a surprise. Women who grew up in the 1950s talk about the to eat it which was better than
when you were, but he didn’t
I gave birth to my daughter, we are savouring.’ Sharing delicious thrill of waiting months to ‘go all the way’ know what it was called.’
[[1L]] . Psychologies . January 2010 Psychologies . January 2010 . [[2R]]
