The Bayside Brewer

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                  July 2009

                 Inside this issue:

                    New Members
                    June meeting

Newsletter of the Bayside Brewers Club Incorporated
             This is the newsletter of the Bayside Brewers Club Inc and is distributed to
             members and interested organisations on a monthly basis (except January).

              Articles, letters and information to be included in the newsletter are
              welcome, preferably as unformatted Word documents.. The views
              expressed by the contributors are their own and do not necessarily reflect
those of the Bayside Brewers Club Inc or the editor.
                                                                                                      ! # $
Advertising is available to groups, organisations or individuals that enhance the process
of home brewing. Rates and conditions may be obtained by contacting the editor.
                         All correspondence should be sent to:
                                 Bayside Brewers Club Inc                                   Your newsletter is proudly sponsored by:
                                        PO Box 175
                                    Chelsea VIC 3196

                Aims of The Bayside Brewers Club Inc                                           Grain & Grape (
                                                                                                     5/280 Whitehall Street, Yarraville 3013
♦      To enable members to develop their skills as brewers                                            Ph: 9687 0061      Fax: 9687 1958
♦      To generate a greater awareness in the general community of the                                 email:
       legitimacy of home brewing as a craft in which anyone can
♦      To serve as a focus to defend the interests of home brewers and
       their craft

PRESIDENT          Bryce Van Denderen                  Ph. (H) 9557 4445

SECRETARY: Iain McKimm                                 Ph. 0400 868 208
                                                                                                 Magick Brew (
TREASURER: Bob Mansfield                               Ph: 9750 5525                                   205A Bayview Road, McCrae 3938
                                                                                                              Phone/fax: 5981 1160
COMMITTEE                                                                                              email:
MEMBERS:        Adrian Taylor                 5981 1160
                Cameron Turner                0431 223 175
                Chan Lay                      0422 258 839
                Andy Grange                   0425 817 707
The Bayside Brewer Editors
      Bob Mansfield           Email:
      John & Tessa Killmister Email:                          Both shops will deliver. You can check prices on their web
      Stuart Behrend          Email:                                           sites and phone or email your orders.

2                        The Bayside Brewer, May 2009                                                     The Bayside Brewer, May 2009                   11
Some Fishing Jokes
                                                              About the Club                             2
A professor at the University of Sydney was giving a          Wort’s Brewin’                             4
lecture on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first
year medical students.                                        June Meeting Report                        6
Realizing this was not the most riveting subject, the
professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.               New Members                                7
He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said,
'Do you know what your arsehole is doing while you're         Technical Section                          8
having an orgasm?'
She replied, 'Probably fishing with his mates.'               Future Events                              9
It took 45 minutes to restore order.
                                                              Jokes                                      10
Two fishermen were adrift in their rented boat due to an
engine failure. While rummaging through the boat's
provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp.
Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed
the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the                                Bayside Brewers AGM,
castaways, a genie came forth. This particular genie,
however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not                 Saturday 27th June 7.30 Start
the standard three.                                                          Minny’s Chinese Café,
Without giving much thought to the matter the man                       129 Hall’s Road, Carrum Downs
blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" The genie
clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and
                                                                              Partners Welcome
immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew
ever sampled by mortals.
Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle
lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men
considered their circumstances.
One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish
had been granted. After a long, tension filled moment,
he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have to
piss in the boat!"

10                 The Bayside Brewer, May 2009                           The Bayside Brewer, May 2009        3
A very excited Jim Miller has been ringing around to announce his
decision to join the all grain brewing fraternity. After many           July 2009                             November 2009
successful years of extract and partial mash brewing he is              ♦    Meeting: Wed 1 July              ♦ Meeting: Wed 4 November
venturing down the road of infinite variables with all grain brewing.        Structureflex                        Venue to be decided
Can’t wait to try his all grain AIPA.                                        280 Bay Rd. Cheltenham
While the enthusiasm is there, unfortunately the equipment is not.      ♦ Westgate Stout Extravaganza         December 2009
So if anyone has or knows of any all grain brewing equipment for             Sunday 5 July at Bells Hotel     ♦   Meeting: Wed 2 December
                                                                             Moray St. South Melbourne            Venue to be decided
sale or even some good advice talk to Jim asap.                                                                   FAMILY BARBECUE DAY
                                                                        August 2009
                                                                        ♦   Wort Hogs Pale Ale Mania          February 2010
                                                                            Sunday 2 August                   ♦   Meeting: Wed 3 February
                                                                            at A,D, Ryans Hotel                   English IPA competition Venue
                                                                            69 Main St. Diamond Creek             to be decided
                                                                        ♦ Meeting: Wed 5 August               ♦ BeerFest
                                                                            Dortmunder Competition Venue          Mirboo North
                                                                            to be decided
                                                                        ♦ Club Curry Night                    March 2010
                                                                            Venue to be decided               ♦  Meeting: Wed 3 March
                                                                                                                  Venue to be decided
                                                                        September 2009
                                                                        ♦   Meeting: Wed 2 September          April 2010
                                                                            Venue to be decided               ♦   Meeting: Wed 7 April
                                                                        ♦ Bathurst Home Brew                      Belgian Strong Golden
                                                                             Championship                         Competition Venue to be
                                                                        October 2009
                                                                        ♦   Meeting: Wed 7 October
                                                                            Dunkelweizen Competition
                                                                            Venue to be decided
                                                                        ♦ VicBrew 3 & 4 October
                                                                        ♦ AABC 23 & 24 October in
Bayside Brewers Website                                                     Canberra
                                                                        ♦ ANAWBS is the new web site for the          ♦ Bayside Brewers Oktoberfest
Bayside Brewers Club. We are looking for a webmaster to help                Saturday 17 October (to be
further develop the site, talk to Bryce if you're interested.               confirmed) at Hickinbotham
                                                                            Winery Dromana

4                  The Bayside Brewer, May 2009                                               The Bayside Brewer, May 2009                        9
    Technical Topic                                                      AABC in Canberra, 23-24 October 2009
    The following technical topics are from Mark Hibberd
                                                                         This year's Australian Amateur Brewing Championship will
    Below is a picture of keg fittings showing how to identify them -
                                                                         take place in Canberra ACT at the historic Olims Hotel and be
    the numbers are the diameters at the indicated heights. Writing In
                                                                         hosted by the Canberra Brewers Club.
    and Out in Texta on the side of the kegs can also be useful in
                                                                         The preliminary program is:
    avoiding stuck connectors. The CO2 connector also has a groove
    machined at the base.                                                Friday 23 October
                                                                         Welcome to judges
                                                                         AABC Judging
                                                                         Bus tours of The Wig & Pen brewpub and Zierholz Brewery
                                                                         Saturday 24 October
                                                                         AABC Judging
                                                                         Club night & presentations including informal dinner (finger food)
                                                                         More details at

                                                                         Cheers, Mark
                                                                         Australian National Homebrew Conference
                                                                         The Next Home Brew Conference is tentatively proposed for
                                                                         the 21-23 October 2010 in Melbourne, hopefully the AABC will
    Another one from Mark—have you seen beerstone in your kegs?          be run at the same time. This is a not to be missed event so
    Is it something to worry about? More info coming in the next         start saving and planning your long weekend in the city.
                           newsletter. These are                         Everybody I spoke to enjoyed the event and I’m sure tickets
                           dip tubes from Corny                          will sell quickly.
                                                                         In the last newsletter there was a small error about the 2nd of
                                                                         August WortHog Pale Ale Competition, it is being held at
                                                                         Diamond Creek not at Greensborough. Still time to get your
                                                                         entry in at the usual shops.

                                                                         VicBrew 3-4 October, Belgian Beer Café Eureka, 5 Riverside
                                                                         Quay, Southbank Melbourne. Melway: 2F E7, see

8                     The Bayside Brewer, May 2009                                        The Bayside Brewer, May 2009                        5
                       June Meeting                                                       New members
About 15 of the Bayside members attended the Bier de Garde         There have been a couple of new members join the club lately so
competition at Mark Hibberds. Thanks Mark, for providing supper    introduce yourself and make
for facilitating the judging.                                      them welcome!

                                                                   Yosu Plaza
                                                                   Lives in Frankston

                                                                   Married and expecting first
                                                                   child soon

                                                                   Extract and steeping grain
                                                                   brewer. Progressing to all
                                                                   grain with esky mash tun

                                                                   Currently completing a short
                                                                   course in brewing

                                                                   James Starr
                                                                   Lives in Hampton
There were only five beers entered in this category with the re-
sults to be announced at the AGM on the 27th of June. Be there     Studying finance
to cheer on the Brewer Of The Year and remember if you don’t       and economics
attend the meeting you may be nominated for the committee or
worse, the next club meeting.                                      Kit, extract and
                                                                   grain brewer

                                                                   Relaxes with Tae
                                                                   Kwon Do and

                                                                   Favourite beer
                                                                   styles are EPA,
                                                                   AIPA, Belgians

                                                                       That’s James on the right discussing the finer points
                                                                                    of cascade hops with Jim
6                  The Bayside Brewer, May 2009                                       The Bayside Brewer, May 2009                   7