In all fairness to guys, there usually more than one reason why a man will not commit
to a woman and their relationship. I thought I might give you some general ideas or
possible reasons why he won't commit. There are 3 areas that usually describe why a
man is hesitant to commit to a woman in a relationship:
1. He gets it all, without the commitment, so why do anything. "Why buy the cow
when you can get the milk for free". Most women believe that the reason behind the
phrase above simply applies to having sex with a man, but it is usually much more. It
could be that she washes' his clothing, is available at his beckoned call. Whenever he
contacts her, or even gives him money. Since he's getting all the benefits of a
committed and/or married relationship, from his perspective, he does not see any
benefit to committing.
2. Most women believe that.... He's afraid of commitment, and depending on the guy,
it does have some credibility. What this means is that he has been dumped before, and
it has caused him a lot of hurt emotionally, or it is the pain due to childhood issue.
Since most guys do not handle emotional pain very well, their primary defense against
it is to simply sidestep any relationship where they feel it might get ugly. The problem
is that they have a tendency to believe the "right" woman is one that makes them feel
the best at "all the times." Usually, the only woman that will even come close to that
standard is a little boy's mother. No woman can be "wonderful" 100% of the time.
3. He walks to a different drum... There can be times when a man is quite able to
commit to a woman, but he may take much more time to choose this decision than the
woman thinks he should. This is most likely not the reason - but it could happen. For
men over the age of approximately thirty -years, it usually does not take more than a
few months to realize whether a woman would make a good lover or not. Although he
may not propose to her in a few months, he usually has an idea that whether or not she
is his best one and only. If he is still insecure what he feels about her after 4 to 6
months, my experience has been that it is usually more than likely due to one of the
first two reasons I mentioned.
If he is less 30-years-old, it is quite possible it might take him longer to make a-choice.
Men in their 20's have not proven themselves financially. This is often a big deal to
guys as this is their main roil in life to provide for the family. Additionally, they often
haven't experienced enough failures in life to emotionally realize that the freedom of
being single can be very tiring.