If you have just broken up with someone, you probably feel awful. Regardless whose fault it was, you still feel depressed, downhearted and miserable. You may be preoccupied with how to get back with your ex. These emotions are natural, and we've all been there at one time or another. You may be thinking that you should go running after your ex right now or give your ex a call. Again, only natural but you will be letting your emotions dictate what you should do and this is not a good idea. I obviously don't know what led up to you splitting up or how painful that may have been for you or your ex. However, I can tell you that if you really want to win back your love, you need to use your head. Rushing into things now, before you have had a change to think about why things went wrong, and if the relationship can still be saved, could be a disaster. If you got back together immediately after breaking up without understanding the issues that led to the break up, it would only lead to more pain and suffering. And ultimately cause another break up. Tough as it is going to be you need to prevent your heart ruling your head. What steps can you take now to win back your girlfriend or boyfriend? Before discussing what you can do, let me suggest what you shouldn't do. Put your physical relationship on hold at this stage. Passions only muddy the water. Also, remember you still have a life so get on with it, don't sit around being pitiful. What has happened is sad and painful but feeling sorry for yourself won't get you anywhere. And it sure won't help you get back with ex or be more attractive to them, either. First you must accept what has happened. Tell yourself and your ex that you can accept what has happened. If it turns out that getting back together with your ex is not going to happen, you have already begun the process of moving forward with your life. You both need time to think and consider the importance of the relationship. By giving each other some space, you both may realize how much in love you still are and how much you mean to each other. When you can think about this without all the negative emotions getting in the way, when you realize the biggest mistake was splitting up, then you can talk with each other and start reconnecting. If the relationship is still important to your ex, she or he may give signals that they too wish to win back your love, too. Now is the time to start a meaningful dialogue between you. By really listening (not just hearing), being attentive, and acknowledging your ex's concerns shows how serious you are about getting her or him back. If your ex is equally committed, you have a good chance of saving your relationship.