Having a high self-esteem is essential to happiness, success and fulfillment. Having self esteem simply means to appreciate yourself, to regard yourself as worthy and important . How you esteem yourself is reflected in your self image and it is your conception of your beliefs about yourself. How you see yourself therefore will influence your thoughts actions, feelings and behavior and ultimately your abilities and the results you produce in your life. If your self-esteem is not high, you will tend to carry an image of yourself as a defeated person, a person of little worth and regard, an object a victim of injustice and defeat. On the contrary, when you have high self-esteem, you will have a positive self-image and carry a picture of optimism, positivity and purpose. Maxwell Maltz mentioned : " Of all the traps and pitfalls in life, self esteem is the deadliest and hardest to overcome. For it is a pit designed and dug by our own hands, summed up in the phrase: It is no use, I cannot do it." Some symptoms of high esteem include - Having a sense of direction of knowing what is important - Not beating yourself up when you have failed - Being optimistic rather than pessimistic - Not being emotional when things do not turn out as expected - Being able to stand back and think clearly when things do not work out right - Enjoying what you do most of the time - Being able to think deeply about the connectedness of different parts of your life - Knowing that you have a chosen mission or purpose - Knowing your strengths and making use of them . What is the secret to high self-esteem? Basically, accepting the self, and then peeling off the layers of conditioning and lies that have caused self esteem and self confidence to decrease and be buried. Here are some steps to increasing self esteem and self confidence 1. Accept your past, present, accept your weakness and strengths. Take yourself less seriously. After all, everyone makes mistakes now and again. It's not the end of the world. Realize that. 2. Accept yourself. You are unique, and you have your own set of strengths and weakness. Don't try to be like someone else. Love yourself. You are here for a purpose. You have your own set of DNA, your own finger print, your own unique brand. No one in this world will ever be exactly like you , not in a million zillion years to come. Not even your twin brother or sister. You have your place in the universe. Claim it. 3. Remember your successes, no matter how small they may be. They are yours and yours alone. Do not downplay the positive parts of your life. Remember when you hit that homerun, or shot that perfect bowling score? It was definitely not fluke or luck. You achieved it. Or when you learnt a new skill and were proud of this new achievement? Remember and recall all your achievements and claim them. Do not ever think they are unimportant. If you can succeed in one area, you can in the others. 4. Think about what you really want. Do not live your life for others. Someone you regarded highly, your parents, your friends, may have wanted you to do something, and you have lived your life following what they have wanted. Spend some time thinking through what you really want in life and decide what is you really want to achieve. Thinking is the hardest work, ( that's why so few people indulge in it) but it is worth it. Once you have thought through, that is half the battle won. 5. Use positive affirmations and tools. To confirm and drill these positive self affirming self confidence boosting thoughts into your mind. Repeat them. Write it on a card and paste it on your mirror. Use a vision board. Remind yourself daily. Drill deep into the subconscious. Affirmations like: I am loved I love myself I am creating a life of positive value I am positive, motivating and liked I am committed to excellence, and I will attract success in relationships, career and life ( you can think of more yourself- create great positive images and go for it!!) 6. Finally, set yourself up for success. Plan. Set achievable goals. Take small steps and achieve them. Then celebrate your successes along the way. Reward yourself when you have succeeded. Take action now. Increase your self esteem, self confidence. Take steps to living the life of your dreams now.