200806 - NEWSLETTER by sdsdfqw21


JUNE                                                                                                                            THE COMPASSIONATE FRIENDS
01 Jun Sun 10:00 – 12:00 Supervision Dr Jane Luck – TCF Centre Jnb (All Facilitators).                                                  PRETORIA
04 Jun Wed 19:00 Committee Meeting – @ Betsi vd Watt                                                                     Support Group offering Friendship and Understanding
14 Jun Sat 14:00 Jnb Genl Meeting – TCF Centre, Jnb. All welcome.                                                         to Bereaved Parents, Siblings & Grandparents
       Speaker: Linda Lagrasso – Discussing intuition
19 Jun Thu 18:30 First Annual General meeting of TCF Pretoria Chapter
       – Minor Hall, Brooklyn Methodist Church, Murray str, Brooklyn
19 Jun Thu 19:00 Pretoria – Dr Hanlie Meyer – Counselling Psychologist                                                              NEWSLETTER
        – Minor Hall, Brooklyn Methodist Church, Murray str, Brooklyn                                                                    JUNE 2008
21 Jun Sat 09:00 – 12:00 Fammed Seminar – “Little drummers” Cost R100                         My Dear Compassionate Friends,
                         Kiepersol Centre Eldoraigne, Contact: Sr Kitty Nortje 082 892 7686
21 Jun Sat 14:00 Soweto Meeting – Oncology Clinic, Baragwanath Hospital                       June… Father's Day… We heroically pay tribute to all the Dads. A day set aside to celebrate fathers,
       Charlotte - 011 728 3641/ 082 427 2277                                                 grandfathers, stepfathers, godfathers, living or not living, in our lives!
21 Jun Sat 14:00 Infant Meeting – TCF Centre Dominique 084 618 7684                           Devoted, loving fathers do their best to raise their children to the best of their abilities, and are
22 Jun Sun 15:00 Laudium Meeting – Laudium, Tamil Temple Vani – 083 992 6901                  supposed to be spoilt on Father’s Day, but those who have lost a child, will only have the memories.
24 Jun Wed 19:00 Committee Meeting – @ Jenni Pohl                                             Wonderful memories which never fade. Keep them safe and remember those special moments on
28 Jun Sat 14:00 Suicide Meeting – TCF Centre Jnb Elise – 011 788 9829                        Father’s Day. You might not receive a Father’s Day gift this year, but remember all those you did.
28 Jun Sat 14:30 Lenasia Meeting – Lenasia Recreation Centre Roseline – 011 852 5344          And lets be grateful for the best gift of all, our children!
                                                                                              Bereaved fathers are often desperately tragic people caught in the trap of society’s expectations.
JULY                                                                                          Co-workers, family and friends expect them to be strong, and to be consistent despite the enormity
12 Jul Jnb General Meeting                                                                    of their loss.
17 Jul Thu 19:00 Pretoria Talita Serfontein Trauma Counsellor                                 Bereaved fathers hurt too... They are afraid and angry. They are lonely and do cry in silent places.
18-20Jul TCF USA 31ST National Conference in Nashville.                                       They question their sanity and their will to survive and carry a heavy burden of guilt for not “living
19 Jul Soweto Meeting – Oncology Clinic, Baragwanath Hospital                                 up” to society’s expectations and for not being able to protect their family and “save” their child
19 Jul Infant Meeting – TCF Centre Jnb                                                        from death.
19-20 Jul TCF Jnb A workshop on Grief and Loving. By Bernard Levinson. TCF Centre Jnb.        For many bereaved fathers, Father’s Day will be difficult and we wish you a day of peace. In the midst
                    Only couples can enroll for this week-end experience.                     of the grief and loss, may you experience the good memories and remember the love for your child.
20 Jul Supervision – TCF Centre Jnb                                                           Our thoughts and love are with all fathers everywhere.
20 Jul Laudium Meeting
20 Jul USA 9th Annual Walk to Remember, Nashville                                             We are very brave, wary and excited to finally flee the safety nest from Johannesburg, as we are on
                                                                                              the verge of becoming independent, by forming our own Pretoria Chapter!
22 Jul Tues – Workshop: Anxiety, Depression and Cancer
                                                                                              An urgent plea to our members, we need your support! On our first meeting we need all Bereaved
               Hosted by Wilgers Oncology Centre – Cost R250.00
                                                                                              Parents to elect an Executive Committee and confirm our constitution.
23 Jul Wed – Workshop: Palliative Care & Bereavement Seminar
                                                                                              The same evening, after the General meeting, we look forward to listening to the dynamic and pithy
               Hosted by Wilgers Oncology Centre & Grobbelaars – Cost R400.00
                                                                                              Dr Hanlie Meyer, Counselling Psychologist/ Voorligtingsielkundige.
26 Jul Lenasia Meeting
26 Jul Suicide Meeting
                                                                                              Dankie aan Sonja Smith Begrafnisgroep wat ons Nuusbrief se drukwerk borg. Baie dankie, Sonja en
                                                                                              Zola, ons Mei uitgawe oortref!
                                                         THANK YOU!
          SUE PROCTER                                                                                                                             Notice of the First Annual General
                SIBLINGS                                 BROOKLYN                             Yours Compassionately
                                                                                                                                                   Meeting of the Compassionate
              COUNSELLOR                             METHODIST CHURCH                         Retha
                                                         Rev. Paul Bester
                                                                                                                                                      Friends Pretoria Chapter
              082 462 1497                                                                                                                                   19 June 2008
                                                          012 460 3271
                                                                                                             P.O. Box 13509                                      18:30
                                                                                                           Hatfield Pretoria 0028                             Minor Hall,
                                                                                                            084 855 5303                             Brooklyn Methodist Church,
                                                                                                                                                          209 Murray Street
                                                                                                             Fax 012 362 3407
                    Tel: 012 9932807                                                               E-mail: rethan@mjvn.co.za
        In Loving memory of                                                           JUNE CONTINUE…..
                                                                                      CHRISTIAAN BLOM 42                               ∗21.06.1963 – †11.10.2006 Heart Disease
    our daughter, Liesl Chernis                                                       Brother of Jeanette Prinsloo – 082 653 2088
                                                                                      REGHARDT APPEL 18                                ∗20.04.1988 – †23.06.2006 Road Accident
    *08.06.1975 - †14.03.2007                                                         Son of Renette – 082 901 8338
   Liesl, you shared life with us                                                     KOBUS GROBLER 25                                  ∗06.02.1980 – †24.06.2005 Cancer
                                                                                      Son of Sandra & Jaco – 082 927 2970
             GOD GIVE                                                                 Brother of Lindie
        Eternal life to you.                                                          RUBEN NEL DU PLESSIS 34 Weeks                    ∗24.06.2004 – †24.06.2004 Medical
                                                                                      Son of Tania Nel & Mercia du Plessis – 082 785 4490
     You gave your love to us                                                         SHEVION STERLEY 44                               ∗26.06.1959 – †05.11.2003 Cancer

           GOD GIVE                               Dis jou Verjaarsdag!                Daughter of Judith – 012 460 3692
                                                                                      ANELLE PLOOS V AMSTEL 20                         ∗23.10.1986 – †26.06.2007 Road Accident
      His deep love to you.                          Ons mis jou…..                   Daughter of Gerhardt & Marilé
                                         In liefdevolle herinnering aan               JESSICA PORTER 36 Weeks                           ∗28.06.1998 – †28.06.1998
    You gave your time for us               LOUW VAN DER WALT                         Daughter of Chris & Carolyn – 082 809 2491
                                                                                      NICO JANSE VAN RENSBURG 27                        ∗29.06.1974 – †09.05.2002 Planned Murder
           GOD GIVE                        09.06.1961 – 26.10.2006                    Son of Renier & Christine – 012 803 2500
      His eternity to you.                                                            JUSTIN BURROW 17                                  ∗29.06.1982 – †02.02.1999 Drowned
                                                                                      Son of Linda – 082 807 1391
     You gave your light to us
                                                                                                             Sincere apologies for omissions, errors, please put me right.
           GOD GIVE
                                               To Bereaved Fathers                                      Blessed are we, whose lives are touched by people who care.
     Everlasting light to you.
                                       Who ache, but feel they must carry on.
  Go upon your journey, dear soul
                                    Who are frightened, but cannot show their fear.   Your Committee Members
            TO LOVE,                   Who are angry, but cannot strike out.           – If you need a friend who will understand, please call us:
      Light and life eternal.            Who are lonely, but have to smile.           Retha Naude-de Jager – Facilitator & Group Leader Tel: 082 441 6360
                                          Who grieve, but must be strong.             Jaco Grobler – Assistant Group Leader Tel: 082 927 2970
  We miss you terribly, but draw
                                     Who love, but are afraid to show their love.     Lynette Gradwell – Secretary – 083 408 5271
            comfort                            Whose tears cannot fall.
   Knowing you are at peace.
                                                                                      Jenni Pohl – Treasurer – 083 730 0659
                                                                                      Betsi van der Watt – Library – 084 556 2100
          Richard & Jane
                                                                                        DONATIONS WERE RECEIVED WITH GRATITUDE FROM:
                                                                                        THANK YOU Elize & Wohn Steel for our web page. www.tcfp.co.za
                                                                                        THANK YOU Jenni Pohl for our own TCF Cellphone
                                                                                        THANK YOU Sonja Smith Funeral Group for the printing of our newsletter
                                                                                        THANK YOU All for the collection at our meetings for tea/coffee, security guard, etc.
In loving memory of                                                                     THANK YOU Linda Burrow for 3 books and cash donations.
THEMBELANI NANDI                                                                        THANK YOU Hayley Smith – stamps and cash donations
                                                                                        THANK YOU Chrisél van der Merwe – cash donation
21.06.2005 – 06.04.2006
                                                                                        THANK YOU Julie & Cliff Coxen – cash donation
                                                                                        THANK YOU Marianne & Ben Fletcher – cash donation

                                                                                      Courses & Seminars
                                                                                      Retha attended a seminar on the Practical Approach to Effective Communication hosted by
                                                                                      Cansa, Pretoria on Saturday, May 24th at Unitas Hospital.
       Cherished memories of our Children’s Anniversaries                                       MY LITTLE ANGEL
                                                                                                -J.C. Brumfield: Little Feller
                        Please remember how much a phone call means                             I'm just a little angel
                                                                                                who didn't quite make it there.                         MEN DO CRY – Ken Falk
JEAN-MICHAEL MURRAY 13                            ∗22.09.1993 – †01.06.2006                     I went straight to be with Jesus.
Son of Madeleinne – 012 329 2277                                                                                                                  I heard quite often “men don’t cry”-
JACO VAN ZYL 17                                   ∗14.10.1989 – †04.06.2006 Heart Defect                                                           Though no-one ever told me why.
                                                                                                But I'm waiting for you there.                     So when I fell and skinned a knee,
Son of Deon & Tilla – 082 374 7983
                                                                                                Don't you fret about me, Mommy:                       No-one came to comfort me.
Sibling: Albert
                                                                                                I'm of all God's lambs most blessed.
DANIE (DJ) VENTER 16                              ∗05.06.1988 – †19.07.2004 Victim of suicide                                                       And when some bully at school,
                                                                                                I'd have loved to stay there with you,
Son of Danie & Alice – 082 377 6029                                                                                                              Would pull a prank so mean and cruel,
                                                                                                but the Shepherd knows what's best.
WAYNE WALTERS 33                                  ∗11.05.1965 – †06.06.1998 Accident                                                              I’d quickly learn to turn and quip –
Son of Ken & Cynthia – 082 752 3465                                                                                                                 “It doesn’t hurt” and bite my lip.
Siblings Gary, Chad & Mark                                                                      Many dwelling here where I live,
LYNIKE VAN SCHALKWYK                               ∗06.06.2004 – †06.06.2004                    waited years to enter in -                         So as I grew to reasoned years,
                                                                                                                                                     I learned to stifle any tears.
Daughter of Pieter & Bianca – 082 553 9689                                                      Struggled through a world of sorrow
                                                                                                                                                   Though “Be a big boy” it began,
KIMBERLEIGH RAS 2                                  ∗06.06.1997 – †08.01.2000                    and their lives are marred with sin.              Quite soon I learned to “Be a man”.
Daughter of Vanessa & Pieter, Sister of Tammy-Lee
GERBER KEMP 21                                    ∗06.06.1983 – †28.09.2004                                                                          And I could play that stoic role.
                                                                                                So sweet Mommy, don't you sorrow.
Son of Danie – 012 663 6703                                                                                                                    While storm and tempest wrecked my soul.
                                                                                                Wipe those tears and chase the gloom.
IAN POTGIETER 10 Days                             ∗07.06.2004 – †17.06.2004                                                                      No pain nor setback could there be –
                                                                                                I went straight to Jesus' bosom                  Could wrest one single tear from me.
Son of Noan & Mari
LESEDI MOKONE 2 Months                             ∗07.06.1999 – †01.09.1999
                                                                                                from my lovely mother's womb.
Daughter of Tiny                                                                                                                                  Then, one long night I stood nearby,
NATHANIEL TREMAYNE 12                             ∗29.09.1989 – †08.06.2002 Electricuted        Thank you for the life you gave me -              And helplessly watched my son die,
Son of Elaine Burgher – 072 955 5015                                                            it was brief, but don't complain.                  And quickly found to my surprise,
                                                                                                                                                   That all that tearless talk was lies.
JEAN GELDENHUYS 10                                 ∗08.06.1984 – †23.07.2004                    I have all of Heaven's glory,
Son of Elizabeth – 012 664 3577                                                                 Suffered none of earthling's pain.                 And still I cry and have no shame,
LIESL CHERNIS 32                                   ∗08.06.1975 – †14.03.2007 Drugs                                                                 I cannot play that “big boy” game,
Daughter of Richard & Jane – 012 803 8438                                                                                                             And openly without remorse,
                                                                                                Thank you for the name you gave me,
LOUW VAN DER WALT 45                              ∗09.06.1961 – †26.10.2006 Heart Failure                                                            I let my sorrow take its course.
                                                                                                I'd have loved to brought it fame.
Son of Engela Schiecke – 076 931 6900
                                                                                                But if I'd lingered in earth's shadows,            So those of you who can’t abide
Sibling of Retha – 082 441 6360
                                                                                                Might instead have brought it shame.             A man you’ve seen who’s often cried,
DYLAN DOBBINS 18                                   ∗09.06.1985 – †07.02.2004 Road Accident
Son of Geoff & Debbie – 076 313 2593                                                                                                             Reach out to him with all your heart,
                                                                                                                                                 As one whose life’s been torn apart.
AMé NEL 2 Days                                     ∗11.06.2004 – †13.06.2004                    Daddy gave me something for you -
Son of Marlize & JP                                                                             it’s our secret, Mommy dear.                      For men do cry when they can see
ABRIE VAN ZYL 20                                   ∗19.12.1982 – †13.06.2004 Road Accident      Pressed it tight against my forehead,                  Their loss of immortality,
Son of Jan and the late Elize, Brother of Marlize                                               Whispered in my tiny ear.                       And tears will come in endless streams,
DEON THERON 13                                     ∗16.06.1989 – †13.12.2003 Electric Shock                                                    When mindless fate destroys their dreams.
Son of Deon – 082 971 1333                                                                      I'll be waiting for you, Mommy -
Brother of Cobus
                                                                                                you and Daddy, and darling sisters.
DOMINIQUE JOUBERT 22                                ∗29.07.1976 – †19.06.1999 Road Accident
                                                                                                I'll be with you then, forever...
Daughter of Joy – 082 566 3079
                                                                                                then I'll give you Daddy's kiss.
Sister of Michelle
DENESE DANIEL 34                                    ∗26.08.1957 – †20.06.1992 Road Accident
Daughter of Joey – 082 702 5016                                                                 In loving memory of our precious baby girl Jessica Ivy Porter who would be
RUBEN LABUSCHAGNE 22                                ∗12.02.1983 – †20.06.2005 Medical           celebrating her 10th birthday on 28 June. There is still an enormous void in our lives
Son of Etienne & Juanita – 084 608 3449                                                         without you, sweet baby. A moment in our arms – a lifetime in our hearts.
THEMBELANI NANDI 9 Months                            ∗21.06.2005 – †06.04.2006 Medical
Daughter of Buli – 082 734 8908
                                                                                                Love Mommy, Daddy, Emily and Megan
Remembering Justin on his birthday                                        Join Us in the Walk to Remember and Submit a Child's Name to be Carried
                                                                         The 9th Annual National Event will start at the host site Sheraton Music
My Boys High boy so proud and tall                                       City Hotel at 8 a.m. Sunday, July 20. As many as 1400 walkers are
So loved and missed by one and all
He always had a smile to give
                                                                         expected for this meaningful act that honours the memory of children
It breaks my heart he couldn’t live                                      lost, but never forgotten. Last year, more than 10,000 names were
To share his love of life… so short                                      carried during the Walk to Remember. This year, we're aiming at
So many lessons that he taught                                           carrying the names of 15,000. If you cannot attend the conference, but
His passing brought us so much pain
                                                                         would like to have a special child in your life remembered, you can
Our lives have never been the same
We wonder why, but just don’t know                                       submit the child's name to be carried by a volunteer. There is no charge,
Why God chose us to let him go                                           but all donations are appreciated. www.thecompassionatefriends.com
It comforts us you're with your mates
Till we meet again at heaven's gates                                     PLEASE…. HELP NEEDED:
With so much love – Mum                     JUSTIN BURROW                We are still in desperate need of a book shelf/cupboard, preferably be able
                                         29.06.1982 – 02.02.1999         to lock-up, for our library books, to be kept at the Church. If you have one you
_____________         __                                            _    no longer use, or if you know of anyone, and willing to donate or
                                                                         sell it to us; please contact Jaco 082 927 2970.
                                                                         Alternatively, any carpenters? Also contact Jaco to offer your expertise…
                                In Loving Memory of Wayne Walters
                                11.05.1965 - 06.06.1998                  IN OUR THOUGHTS
                                All our love, Dad and Mom                • Cynthia Walters, who had a foot operation and we pray that she will be on her
                                Ken & Cynthia Walters                       feet again soon….
                                                                         • Tilla & Deon van Zyl se seun, Albert wat siek geword het en in die hospitaal
                                                                            opgeneem was. Baie dankbaar dit gaan nou goed.. Sterkte en beterskap!
                                                                         • Delia & Kobus Gildenhuys, baie geluk met julle nuwe klein (2.1kg) pienk bondeltjie,
                                   *09.06.1985 - †07.02.2004                Aymee Hope, gebore op 6 Junie 2008. Geniet haar!
                                                                         • Alice & Danie Venter emigreer in Julie na Australië. Baie sterkte en ons wens julle
                                                                            geluk en voorspoed vir julle “nuwe begin”.

                                                                                                                       TCF JEWELERY – by Lynette
                                                                                                                        Necklaces, keyring/handbag charms
                                                                                                                          will be on sale at the meetings.
                                                                                                                         Prices range between R30-R45.
                                                                                                                               Profit goes to TCF
We are very proud of our April and May newsletters, but your honest feedback will be
appreciated. Thank you for all your contributions thus far.
Please submit your letters, poems, writings, drawings and/or photoss, especially during the
month of your child's anniversary, by the 15th of each month prior.
Your Newsletter is still FREE!
To continue receiving the monthly Newsletter, a fee of R50.00 per annum is required to
cover POSTAGE.
SUGGESTED donation to sponsor space in your Newsletter:
Full Page – R100.00, Half Page - R50.00, Placement - R25.00, Photo - R50.00
All business owners, who wish to advertise in our newsletter, please contact us.

Please complete and return the questionnaire’s sent to you in January.
If you have not received a copy yet, please contact us.
The questionnaire is a vital document to update our records and establish
whether you would like to continue to receive the monthly Newsletter.
Thank you for your cooperation.

                            LOVE GIFTS
 A Thoughtful way to remember your precious child is to contribute
    and sponsor a page in our newsletter or donate a Love Gift
        in your child’s Birthday and/or Anniversary Month!
           A tax certificate can be issued, if you need one,
                      please ask Jenni or Retha.
 Please e-mail, fax or post your contributions to reach us before the
   15th of each month, for publication in the next month’s issue.
                              Thank you.


Dear Friends
Please, if you have any book(s) which could be of interest to our group or assisted you in coping
with your grief, I would really love to hear from you. It is only with your help that the library can
become a significant part of our mutual lives on the journey to a ‘new normal’, as Retha so aptly
puts it. You can contact me anytime at 084 556 2100 / vdwatem@unisa.ac.za, or bring the books
along to the next meeting.
                                                                                                                          A great man is a generous man.
With warm regards                                                                                                      Giving and greatness go hand in hand.
Betsi                    A FATHER'S LOVE…..
                         Brushes the tears from his cheek                                                They are one and the same, because to give is to love, and to love is
                         When his child has died, and his heart is too full to speak…                   the supreme duty of man. All that is given cheerfully and generously to
                                                                                                           another, comes back and enriches your life in unexpected ways.
KOBUS GROBLER 06.02.1980 – 24.06.2005

Die dag waarop my aardse lewe beëindig is, het God my opgetel, aan Hom vasgedruk en gesê: ”Ek het jou                                                 Jaco,
nodig in My groot plan. Daar is baie vir ons om te doen om die res van die mensdom te help." Hy het my                                                In ons geestesoë sien ons jou
opdragte gegee en bo-aan die lys was die opdrag om oor jou te waak. Daar is ‘n paar dinge wat ek vir
                                                                                                                                                      Met ‘n breë smile op jou
julle, my dierbare familie wil sê, maar eerstens moet ek sê dat ek veilig gearriveer het. Ek is nou in die
hemel by my Skepper. Hier is geen trane of hartseer nie – net ewige liefde.                                                                           Goue fiets waar jy op ‘n
Moenie treur oor my nie. Onthou ek is in die gees nog steeds by julle, en ek sal elke oomblik by julle                                                Goue baan ry.
wees, in julle oomblikke van hartseer, om julle trane af te vee en ook in die diepste ure van die nag om
                                                                                                                                                      Jesus het jou vir Sy span gekies.
oor julle te waak. Wanneer julle terugdink aan die tye wat ons saam deurgebring het, sal julle
ongetwyfeld hartseer raak. Moenie julle trane terughou nie – trane sal die pyn verlig. Onthou, sonder
reën sou daar geen blomme gewees het nie.
                                                                                                                                                      Ons mis jou elke dag,
As ek julle maar net kon vertel wat alles in God se beplanning is, maar julle sou nie verstaan nie. Een ding                                          Meer en meer.
is seker, al is ek nie meer by julle nie, is ek tog nader aan julle as ooit tevore. Aan al my vriende wil ek
sê: “Vertrou op God, Hy weet wat die beste vir ons is. Ek is steeds naby julle."                                                                      Lief jou
Daar lê baie moeilike tye vir julle voor, maar julle sal dit te bowe kom. My lewensfilosofie was altyd:
“Gee vir die wêreld om, en die wêreld sal vir jou omgee”.
                                                                                                                                                      Pappa, Mamma & Albert

Wanneer julle iemand wat in nood of pyn verkeer, bystaan, sal julle aan die einde van die dag weet die
dag was nie tevergeefs nie. Ek is tevrede dat my lewe die moeite werd was. Wanneer julle iemand                JACO VAN ZYL 14.10.1989 – 04.06.2006
teëkom wat neerslagtig en bedruk is, help hom/haar en laat hom/haar toe om op jou te steun.
Wanneer julle op jul pad deur die lewe aan my dink, kan julle weet dat ek net ‘n halwe tree agter julle is.
Wanneer julle die koelte van die wind teen julle gesigte voel, weet dat dit ek is wat julle sag omhels.             An important way to cope with grief is having an outlet,
Wanneer dit tyd word vir julle om die aardse bestaan agter te laat, wees rustig in die wete dat ons weer            be it interpersonal, be it artistic, that will allow you to not have to
bymekaar sal wees. Ek sal julle steeds liefhê, al is ons nie meer bymekaar nie.                                     contain your grief, but will give you an opportunity to express it,
                                                                                                                    to externalize it to some degree.
God seën julle!!                                                                                                                                        R. Benyamin Cirlin – Grief Counsellor

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