Have you ever felt deep inside like you know exactly what you want and need to do for your own highest good, but yet don't do it? Perhaps you feel an undercurrent of guilt or that you "shouldn't" or wonder "what will people think?"? Yet, if at that same moment some big fairy godmother came by and gave you permission, you would jump at it in a heartbeat. Well, I'm here to tell you that there's no fairy godmother, and there is no mythical authority on high that is going to drop by and bestow this permission on you. You need to give yourself permission. Give yourself permission to do what you most need and want to do. This is not about becoming a narcissist and making the world orbit around you. Absolutely not. We are all connected and it always matters to act in a way that serves your highest good and the highest good of all. However, if you leave yourself dying on the vine, how does that serve you? How does that serve others? When you play victim and martyr to the cause you sell yourself short and ultimately rob others of what you most want to give them. For example, there is the age old excuse Mom's use as to why they can't take any time for themselves-"But the kids need me!" Yes they do Moms, but if there is no YOU left to give, they are getting ripped off because they are only getting a burned out, exhausted, and perhaps even resentful (consciously or unconsciously) YOU. Or, another example, this time from the workplace. You know you need to take a break midday for lunch in order to work at your best. Yet, you never do because "there's too much to do" or "other people in my department don't" or "the boss doesn't like us to take lunch". Well, is it more important to tend to your health and well-being knowing that you will be far more effective to serve the business if you take a break or is it better to wander around, whine about it, and essentially serve the lowest good for both yourself and the business? You get to choose. One of the favorite rules I was taught by a successful woman who knew how to get things done AND build good relationships was "I'd rather ask for forgiveness than permission." Now I'm not talking about going off the deep end here or doing something wildly out of integrity, illegal, immoral, unethical, etc. I'm talking about doing what you CAN do. Moving those dreams forward. Getting your needs met in a healthy way. Not waiting for someone to come and save you or give you permission to live your life. What is one thing you've most wanted to do (or perhaps NOT do) that you keep hemming and hawing about because you don't feel you "should" or you're waiting for permission? It might be taking some quiet time for you each morning. Maybe a date night each week with your partner. Perhaps you want to speak your mind on an important issue at work or start a project that others keep dragging their feet on. You might even be just eager to cancel some obligations on your calendar Whatever it is - give yourself permission to just do it. I guarantee you'll feel glad you did. Remember regrets are more about what we don't do than what we do do. So give yourself permission to take back the reigns of your own choices.
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