June fanzine 2009

					United Arab Emirates
CLUB                                                                                     UAE

   UAE CSC Newsletter                                                 Issue 12   June 2009

With the FA Cup safely back in our trophy cabinet (was it ever in doubt?) with even our
President’s favourite player (ho ho) scoring a good goal that was not seen by the ref or the
linesman but only by the rest of the world, it’s time to take stock. How many more decisions will
not go our way? At least this one was not material! So, Man Urinal won two trophies (I obviously
exclude the Charity/Community Shield as a ‘major’ trophy (unless we win it in August!) and the
‘World Club Championship’), and we won the other one. ALL the other teams in the Leagues
won sweet FA.

So what of the future? With Carlo Anchelotti taking over on the 1 st July it will be interesting to
see who he attracts to come and play for us. Whilst CA is a winner, let’s hope he doesn’t turn
out like Big Phil, who also came with a reputation. We are an aging squad no matter how well
Franky and the other senior pro’s are playing and this needs to be addressed at some point. Do
we buy or promote youth? I would like to see both but so long as we don’t get some aging Eye-
ties on a retirement contract – we want the likes of Di Matteo, hungry and young. In my opinion,
we need to get rid of Mikel first – he never scores, is slow, gets caught ball watching, doesn’t
track back, gives away too many fouls, and gets booked too often. I know Ray (the crab) Wilkins
likes him as he always passes sideways and backwards (just like he did after he left us to go to
Man Yoo), but Mikel is no Makelele or Deschamps. Notice how much better we are when he
doesn’t play? Only Guus saw this…………..

With no footy to look forward to until August (apart from laughing at Italy in the Confederations
Cup!) and a couple of easy wins for England, I have consoled myself by planning for trips to the
home of football (Stamford Bridge) now that next season’s fixture list is out. Check out the
official Club website for details.

Lastly, may I thank all those who have contributed articles for this issue – long may it continue
as I need to edit something. For all you others, please write to me! Anything you want to rant
about concerning the famous CFC. Here’s one for you – I would have included the minutes (etc)
of the AGM but no-one has sent them to me so I have no idea what happened (as I was working
abroad). I don’t even know whether Fibbers is still the venue! Anyway, have a Blue summer, and
let’s all be fit for the new campaign. As a Gooner friend of mine said when he came to watch us
beat Luckypool 3-1 at Fibbers – that was the best atmosphere he has heard/seen in Dubai for
ANY footy match. Not for us sitting and just applauding a goal like the plastic followers of toher
clubs. Let’s keep it up.

Win or lose, Up the Blues!


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   UAE CSC      Newsletter                                                         Issue 11      May 2009


By Lee Sporle – UAE CSC Secretary


This is an actual picture that was taken from the recent Champions League final, I particularly like the advertising

This is all I got from our leader this month – seems he is too busy sipping Pimms? (Ed)

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  UAE CSC   Newsletter                      Issue 11   May 2009

Oh alright – he sent me this newspaper headline too:

‘Arsenal sign Messi’

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 UAE CSC   Newsletter                  Issue 11   May 2009

And this…………

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   UAE CSC   Newsletter                                            Issue 11    May 2009

Have you heard OXO is bringing out a new cube in honour of Newcastle’s relegation? It’s black and
white, and is going to be called the ‘laughing stock’ (Ed)

                                           Page 5 of 11
   UAE CSC     Newsletter                                                   Issue 11     May 2009

From the stands, 2 defeats but 2 very different games.

So, I don't get back to the Bridge many times in a season (I usually get to Fibbers even less but who's
counting) so I do like to see a great game and a Chelsea win. For the past few years this has been the case
so what happened this season.

My first game back was Arsenal at home. Tickets in the family enclosure meant: (1) No Alcohol and (2)
Arsenal Scum sitting only a few seats and a Steward’s bald head away.... And what a game it wasn't. This
was one of the worst I seen the Blues play live (ok, some of the sh*te I saw in the 90's was worse but then
it was an expected every week event then). To make matters worse I didn't see the first goal as I had a
Steward’s fat arse in my face telling the chap next to me to put his camera away. Even so, it was definitely

Leaving the ground was also not cool. Normally in the Shed, you stay away from the Away fans but not in
the family enclosure (am I the only one to find this a bit odd?) so sadly it was head down and off to
Fulham Broadway. Well, I thought, so that’s it. The first defeat I've seen at the Bridge in over 10 years, so
this Barcelona Semi Final should be a doddle...and it all started off so well.

Met Sami and Joe at the Butcher’s for a few looseners before the main event, as Lee had warned that it
was dry inside the ground. As per usual, Joe turns up late (in fact I'm sure he broke a record this
Wednesday as he somehow managed to arrive late twice...more on that in a mo). For me, Beer in plastic
glasses always tastes nasty but hey, who's complaining. The Police had the usual Borough outside
drinking ban in place and it was great seeing the Spics wandering out of the off licence to have their beer
and sangria confiscated before they'd even opened it. After listening to the tuneless gits trying to deafen us
on the Tube it was a welcome piece of irony.

So, the time came and 3 nervous blokes left the pub (along with I guess a hell of a lot more nervous
supporters from both teams) to enter the Bridge. Joe disappears for "a couple of mins to meet up with
some mates and Sami and I find our seats. Reasonable views, high up but hey, this is the Champions
League Semi so I'd have been happy leaning round a pillar to watch it.

Kick off, 15 mins gone and Joe arrives...(see, told ya). Nothing much has happened up to this point apart
from us being 1 Nil up courtesy of a stunning Michael Essien strike right in front of us. Game On me

Hold on...can I possibly just dismiss what is by a long way THE BEST GOAL I HAVE EVER SEEN AT
STAMFORD BRIDGE?... And coming from a player who spent half the season injured?.... Ok, time to
calm down and relax and watch the rest of the game.

Sadly, this was the high point. Following the goal, Chelsea decided to sit back and we all saw what
happened next. What many did hear was young Sami counting down the minutes (he started at around 60
minutes so we had a long way to go) and occasionally turning round and showing some concerned looks. I
think Joe was just arriving back from his half time pie when Sami started!

Anyway, dodgy decisions, mostly occurring at the far end of the pitch but still pretty obvious in most
instances. Drogba had a nice rest every time the ref shook his head and then...that goal... I think everyone
in the Shed saw it coming the moment the ball went out to the wing. I guess years of disappointment have
set us up to be ready, but how can anyone really be ready for that.

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   UAE CSC     Newsletter                                                    Issue 11     May 2009

I'm not sure how much we saw of the aftermath. Watching Ballack run 80 yards to chase the ref (probably
the first time he's run that far in one go on the Bridge pitch) was about the last I saw as we filed out of the
stadium and back towards the Tube. In fact I was so hyped and disappointed that I decided to get off at St.
John’s Wood and walk the rest of the way back to my Hotel on the Strand. And I almost joined the protest
against the British involvement in Sri Lanka outside the Houses of Parliament just so I could vent my
anger but I felt that trying to start "The Referee's a w*nker" when the guys were complaining about a
number of their fellow citizens being blown up and shot, was probably not a good idea. Good sense
prevailed and I wandered the rest of the way home.

And there we have it. Two games, same result, but what different emotions. For me, putting the result to
one side, the Barca Semi was one of the best moments in my Chelsea watching history at the Bridge. We
played well against a stunningly good team, and were only beaten by an inexperienced and scared (of
making the wrong decision so would rather make no decision) referee. Having seen the Spics embarrass
Moanchester in the Final, it shows how well we played and what Guus (goodbye and thanks for the
memories) has done to turn us back in to winners after LFS and Shrek had done their very best to turn us
into a bunch of also rans.

Hopefully there will be many more memories like this, but not if Lee has anything to do about it, as I'm
told I am now officially banned from home games due my poor results this season.... I think we should
start a protest on this one.

Nick Harvey

And to all the Scum supporters you see – remind them at least we didn’t lose to Barca (twice!) - Ed

Should be up and running by 1st August 2009 (Insha’Allah!)

Nik Harvey (Blueboyuae)
Website Administrator.
Keeping it Blue and Online.

                                                 Page 7 of 11
  UAE CSC   Newsletter                                  Issue 11     May 2009

                           Spotlight on Tony Chung

FULL NAME: Anthony Chung

Date of Birth: 23/11/68

How long have you been a member of the DCSC: 5 years

How did you hear about the DCSC: Freinds

Favourite current CHELSEA Player: Frank Lampard

Favourite ALL time CHELSEA Player: Zola

Favourite current NON CHELSEA Player :

How long have you been CHELSEA supporter: Ages

How did you become a CHELSEA Supporter : went to a game with my mates

Ever seen CHELSEA at Stamford Bridge? Yes

Ever seen CHELSEA play other than at Stamford bridge? Yes

Best CHELSEA moment : winning the League

Best CHELSEA Goal: Zola’s Back Flick from a corner kick against Norwich

WORST CHELSEA Memory: Losing against Liverpool in the European
Championship semi finals

How will we do this/next season: League winners / European Winners

Any other comments you would like to add: when are we going to have some club
social events? Also, what does the social club member do? LOL…..

(This is the last profile I have on file. Anyone reading this who has not
been featured, please send me YOUR info! Thanks, Ed)

                                    Page 8 of 11
   UAE CSC     Newsletter                                                   Issue 11    May 2009

By Neil Batstone

No report received - again (Ed), so here is a new contributor:

We did it!!!! After a season that started so promisingly under a coach reknowned for Championship glory
at International level, we finally found our feet in February with a National coach that knew what tactics
really meant, and when our new 'special one' took over what a man he proved to be!!!

Guus did for us what Jose had done back in 2004 by giving the team belief that they were good enough
and every man should justify the wages he earns regardless of name, fame and fortune. The League came
too late, the Champions League was a joke at the end, but the boys done well even with the occasional
swear word! Then came the oldest most respected Cup in the world: well that was a different matter. Ok,
so Everton may go down in history as scoring the fastest goal, but who cares?? That stat will be ignored
until someone scores even quicker. What it will go down as is that Drogba can and will score when it
matters without falling over too much, refs are totally against us, Malouda: you know what I mean, and
that Lamps is simply the best midfielder out there.

To all the Blues at Wembley that day, I wish I had been there! To all the Blues at Fibbers that night, I sang
the whole way home and was proud to wear the Chelsea shirt. Can't wait for next season, though will be
praying every night till then that Guus will have a change of heart and stay (sorry! Ed) - as always living
for the dream.

Love them Blues. x

Diane Crabtree

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   UAE CSC      Newsletter                                                     Issue 11     May 2009

Last word on the FA Cup:

Liverpool’s version of Google Earth:

And the final word on the European Cup Final:
I was on the way in today and I could hear this beeping noise coming from Salford. Must have been the open-top
bus reversing back into the garage.

Apparently Wayne Rooney has had a phone call from Harry Potter. He wants his invisible cloak back.

Swine Flu discovered in Italy: 30,000 United fans pig-sick.

Welder needed in Salford: to put the roof back on a double-decker bus.

Traffic Update: All roads in Manchester open as usual today.

Ferdinand off to Spain: he’s got a job on the beach at Benidorm.

What does a United fan say to his son after watching The Mighty Reds retain the Champions League? “Turn the
Play Station off son, it’s getting late.”

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   UAE CSC       Newsletter                                                         Issue 11      May 2009

Michel Platini has announced that the next time United get to a European Cup final, they must play with two balls
so they can have a kick.

For Sale: 30,000 Man United Final flags – good as new – only been waved for 9 minutes.

For Sale: 70,000 Man United Champions League Winners 2009 t-shirts. Contact www.overconfidentbastards.com

A bloke goes into a brothel in Rome and asks “How much for humiliation?”
The Madam answers “40 Euros”
“What do I get for that?” he asks.
“A Man United shirt”

Apparently all roads now lead out of Rome and back to London, Devon, Dublin, Dorset, Singapore…

Doctors are today carrying out tests on Nemanja Vidic by force-feeding him. It’s to see if he only chokes in big

Manchester City Council has today issued a flood warning due to the masses of City fans pissing themselves with

Police have confirmed that they have arrested a 27 year old Manchester man on suspicion of fraud. The man
named as Michael Carrick is believed to have been at the centre of an £18m scam. The man charged has been
masquerading as a top class international centre midfielder for 3 years. Italian authorities have handed
overwhelming evidence of the fraud to English police including video footage of his inability to retain the ball, hit
long range forward passes and poor defending.

Italian Police are set to release two suspects detained on suspicion of trespass in Rome without charge. The two
men detained (Anderson and Sun Ji Park) trespassed upon the pitch during the Champions League final in Rome. It
is thought that they will not be charged as their presence on the field did not disrupt or impact on the game at all.
An onlooker said 'What were those guys doing on the pitch? They ran around for up to an hour each, clearly they
were not playing football. They should know that spectators who have paid to watch Xavi and Iniesta should
remain seated’.

To all of you others that have ‘promised’ to email me with articles
(you know who you are, and I know where you live – LOL!) please
send me something. I know all of you ‘love’ what I write, but join in
– you will probably do better than me………………

         If you have any comments regarding this fanzine please email the Editor:
    greg@jdvinsurance.com; or if you wish to contact the club please email the Secretary:
                lee.sporle@uaecsc.info or visit our website www.uaecsc.info

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