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					                                                     Vampire Jokes




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Vampire Jokes
   Q: What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
   A: Count Duckula

    Q: What does a vampire fear most?
    A: Tooth decay

    Q: Where did the vampire open his savings account?
    A: At a blood bank

    Q: What does a baby bat say before going to bed?
    A: Turn on the dark. I'm afraid of the light!

    Q: What is Transylvania?
    A: Dracula's terror-tory

    Q: Where does Dracula water ski?
    A: On Lake Erie

    Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween night?
    A: By blood vessels.

    Q: What's the part of a restaurant where vampires don't suck blood?
    A: The non-Suckers section.

    Q: What kind of ship does Dracula own
    A: Blood vessel.

    Q: Why doesn't anyone like Count Dracula?
    A: He's a pain in the neck.

    Q: What do you call Count Dracula's cookout?
    A: Vampire camfire.

    Q: What does Dracula say when introduced to someone?
    A: "Hello, pleased to eat you!"

    Q: How do vampires drive around?
    A: In their bloodmobiles.

    Q: What is Dracula's position in baseball?
    A: Batboy

    Q: Who is the Dracula's super hero girl friend?
    A: Bat Ghoul.

    Q: What is the largest building in Transylvania?
    A: The Vampire State Building.

    Q: Why did Dracula go to jail?
A: Because he robbed the blood bank.

Q: What's a vampire's favorite feast?
A: Fangsgiving Day dinner.

Q: Why did the vampire's lunch give him heartburn?
A: It was a stake sandwich.

Q: What do you call a dog owned by Dracula?
A: A blood hound.

Q: What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A: A neck-tarine.

Q: Why does Dracula consider himself a good artist?
A: Because he likes to draw blood!

Q: Whom did Dracula take out on a date?
A: His ghoul friend!

Q: What is the best way to talk to Count DraculA:
A: Long distance.

Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire with a computer?
A: A know-it-all, that's really a pain in the neck.

Q: Which building does Dracula visit in New York?
A: The Vampire State Building.

Q: Who is a vampire likey to fall in love with?
A: The girl necks door.

Q: What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
A: It's a pain in the neck.

Q: How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
A: All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

Q: How does a girl vampire flirt?
A: She bats her eyes.

Q: Was Dracula ever married?
A: No he's a bat-chelor.

Q: Where does Dracula keep his valuables?
A: In a blood bank.

Q: What did the kid vampire say to his mommy at bedtime?
A: "Mommy, turn off the switch. I'm afraid of the light!"

Q: What is worst than a hungry vampire?
A: A thirsty vampire.
Q: Why did the teacher send Dracula jr. home?
A: Because he was coffin too much.

Q: What do you give a vampire with a cold?
A: Coffin Drops!

Q: What does a weight-conscious vampire drink?
A: Blood Light.

Q: What is the favorite test that vampires love to take?
A: A blood test.

Q: What did the teacher say to Dracula after he failed his math test?
A: Can't you count Dracula!

Q: What is a vampire's favorite game?
A: Bat-miton.

Q: What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A: A neck-tarine.

Q: Why does Dracula consider himself a good artist?
A: Because he likes to draw blood!

Q: Why did the vampire need mouthwash?
A: He had bat breath.

Q: What is the best way to talk to Count DraculA:
A: Long distance.

Q: Why didn't Dracula get married?
A: He never met a nice Ghoul!

Q: What is Count Dracula's favourite snack?
A: .A fangfurter !

Q: What is red, sweet and bites people ?
A: A jampire !

Q: What do you call a dog owned by Dracula ?
A: A blood hound !

Q: What was the Californian vampire hippy like ?
A: He was ghoul man, real ghoul !

Q: What's a vampire's favourite sport ?
A: Batminton !

Q: What happened to the mad vampire ?
A: He went a little batty !
Q: What do vampires have at eleven o'clock every day ?
A: A coffin break !

Q: How does a vampire like his food served ?
A: In bite sized pieces !

Q: Where do vampires go on holiday ?
A: The Isle of Fright !

Q: Why did the vampire take up acting ?
A: It was in his blood !

Q: Who plays centre forward for the vampire football team ?
A: The ghoulscorer !

Q: What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snail ?
A: I don't know but it would slow him down !

Q: Which vampire ate the three bears porridge ?
A: Ghouldilocks !

Q: Why did the vampire go to hospital ?
A: He wanted his ghoulstones removed !

Q: What's a vampire's favourite drink ?
A: A bloody mary !

Q: What's a vampire's favourite dance ?
A: The fangdango !

Q: Which vampire tried to eat James Bond ?
A: Ghouldfinger !

Q: What do vampires think of blood transfusions ?
A: Newfangled rubbish !

Q: Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food ?
A: He wanted something to get his teeth into !

Q: What happened at the vampires race ?
A: It finished neck and neck !

Q: Where did vampires go to first in America ? A: New Fangland !

Q: What happened at the vampires reunion ?
A: All the blood relations went !

Q: What do you get if you cross Dracula and Al Capone ?
A: A fangster !

Q: What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve ?
A: "Auld Fang Syne" !
Q: Why did Dracula go to the dentist ?
A: He had fang decay !

Q: What did the vampire say to the wolfman ?
A: You look like your going to the dogs !

Q: What is the American national day for vampires ?
A: Fangsgiving day !

Q: If you want to know more about Dracula what do you have to do ?
A: Join his fang club !

Q: Why are vampire families so close ?
A: Because blood is thicker than water !

Q: What flavour ice cream is Dracula's favourite ?
A: Veinilla !

Q: Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin ?
A: It wanted to play squash !

Q: Why do vampires like school dinners?
A: Because they know they won't get stake !

Q: How do you join the Dracula fan club ?
A: Send your name, address and blood group !

Q: What's a vampire's favourite animal ?
A: A giraffe !

Q: Why was the young vampire a failure ? A: He fainted at the sight of
blood !

Q: What happened to the vampire who swallowed sheep ?
A: He felt baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad !

Q: What's Dracula's favourite coffee ?
A: Decoffinated !


Q: What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot ?
A: A bite in shining armour !

Q: What does a vampire bath in ?
A: A bat tub !

Q: What did the vampire say after he had been to the dentist ?
A: Fangs very much !

Q: What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a cold ?
A: Coffin medicine !
    Q: What does the postman deliver to vampires ?
    A: Fang mail !

    Q: What's Dracula's favourite soup ?
    A: Scream of tomato !

    Q: What does a vampire stand on after taking a shower ?
    A: A bat mat !

    Q: What's a vampire's favourite dance ?
    A: The vaults !

    Q: What do romantic vampires do ?
    A: Neck !

    Q: Why do vampires hate arguments ?
    A: Because they make themselves cross !

    Q: What does a vampire say to the mirror ?
    A: Terror, terror on the wall... !

    Q: What is a vampire's favourite film character ?
    A: Batman !

    Q: Why do people hate being bitten by vampires ?
    A: Because it's a drain in the neck !

     Q: If a snowman marries a vampire, what will they name their first
child?
     A: Frostbite

    Q: Why doesn't anybody like Dracula?
    A: He has a bat temper.

    Q: Why did Dracula go to the dentist?
    A: He had a fang-ache.

    Q: Why are vampires like false teeth?
    A: They all come out at night.

    Q: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
    A: To stop his coffin.

    Q: Why does Dracula wear patent leather shoes?
    A: Sandals don't look good with his tuxedo.

				
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Edward Castillo Edward Castillo General www.ventasdeafiliados.blogspot.com
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