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					Published by
Adam Khoo Learning Technologies Group Pte Ltd
10 Hoe Chiang Road
#01-01 Keppel Towers
Singapore 089315

First published 2009

All right reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical,
photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of Adam Khoo
Learning Technologies Group Pte Ltd.

This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise,
be lent, re-sold, hired out or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior consent

in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a
similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

Copyright©2009 by Adam Khoo Learning Technologies Group Pte Ltd

ISBN 978-981-08-3717-4

Edited by Betty L. Khoo-Kingsley
Proof Read by Iunia Valeria Pasca
Project Coordinated by Chris Shia
Design & Layout by Seven Gallery Design & Consultant

Printed in Singapore




                       ABOUT THE ILLUSTRATOR

                    Teo Aik Cher is an educator whose words and illustrations have
                    been featured in numerous publications. He has illustrated for Adam
                    Khoo’s best-selling books ‘Secrets of Millionaire Investors’ and
                    ‘Nurturing the Winner & Genius in Your Child’; the Speak Good
                    English booklet ‘Speak Well, Be Understood’; illustrated and
                    wrote for the first and second Singapore Kindness Movement
                    books. His cartoons are also featured regularly in the Chinese
Newspapers Lian He Zao Bao where he has a weekly weekend column.

He is the author and illustrator of two best-selling books ‘Why Procrastinate?’ and ‘Why
Take Action?’ which have been featured in Teenage magazine. He was also interviewed
on 938 Live.

Aik Cher is also a Graduate of Conrad’s Wealth Academy Pattern Trader Tutorial.

He can be reached at teo.aikcher@gmail.com
     Also By Adam Khoo
             I Am Gifted, So Are You!

     Master Your Mind, Design Your Destiny

        Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires

         Secrets of Millionaire Investors

Secrets of Building Multi-Million Dollar Businesses

         Clueless in Starting a Business

              Profit from the Panic

     How to Multiply Your Child's Intelligence

   Nurturing the Winner & Genius in Your Child
               Acknowledgements By Adam Khoo
                       To my parents Vince, Betty and Joanne, who have given me
                           unconditional love and support throughout the years.
                   To my wife, Sally, who has been my pillar of inspiration and strength
                     for the last 17 years. To my two daughters Kelly and Samantha,
                       who make me smile everyday. To my partner, Patrick Cheo,
                    who has been sharing my vision and continually pushing me to the
                        next level. To my partner Stuart for being the ultimate tag
                       team partner on this amazing mission of empowering lives.
                              To Gary Lee for years of friendship and support.
                              Special thanks to my best buddy Jovasky Pang.

                      To my friends and colleagues Conrad Lim, Keong Hee,
                  Ramesh Muthusamy, Amin Morni, Melvin Chew, Danny Tong,
                Leroy Ratnam, Freddy Gomez, Candice Koh, Woei Tang, Yuan Yee,
               Hui Min, Andrea, Iunia, Benjamin, Pamela and Jeff, who keep bringing
                our programs to a higher level through their passion and dedication.

                   To the entire staff of Adam Khoo Learning Technologies Group
               and Adcom, who have tirelessly spent all their weekends and late nights
                        working to build the companies at an incredible rate.

                 This book is also dedicated to the hundreds of coaches & Whoosh
               members who have volunteered their time to continuously come back and
                     coach for the Superkids™, ‘I Am Gifted So Are You!™’,
                  ‘Patterns of Excellence™’ and ‘Wealth Academy™’ programs.

               To all my principals, teachers & lecturers from Ping Yi secondary school,
                 Victoria Junior College and The National University of Singapore,
                who have played a tremendous part in shaping the person I am today.
                       Especially to Prof. Wee Chow Hou, Mrs. Lee Phui Mun,
                    Mrs. Ng Gek Tiang, Prof. Kulwant Singh & Prof. May Lwin.
               To my mentors and trainers who have helped me discover the true power
                  within myself. To my first mentor, Ernest Wong, who taught me
                    how powerful I really was. To my success and wealth mentors
                  Dr. Tad James, Dr. Richard Bandler, John LaValle, Brad Sugars,
                   Robert G. Allen and Anthony Robbins, who have all taught me
                            the invaluable strategies of wealth and success.

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  Acknowledgements By Gary Lee
To my dad and mum Victor and Carina, who have loved me unconditionally
   all my growing up years and supported me in good and bad times.
    To my brother Gerald, who I know has got my back all the time.
     To Elsa, who has been my inspiration in the many things I do.

  To Adam for being my friend and bringing me onboard this journey
  of empowering lives. To Stuart, who has enlightened me in my life
 professionally and personally. To Patrick, who has helped me become
                 a better manager by learning from him.

To my fellow trainers Amin Morni, Ramesh Muthusamy, Leroy Frank
 Ratnam, Melvin Chew, Danny Tong, Freddy Gomez, Andrea Chan,
Pamela Chong, Yuan Yee, Anna, Iunia, Jeff, Hui Min and Siew Peng .
    To Candice Koh, who has taught me how to become a more
                   emotionally connected person.

Special appreciation to Serene Quek, Katherine, Rossana, Andrew, JD,
 Natalie, Leonard and Desmond for your invaluable support. To Chris
 for doing a great job in publishing this book. Also, Special thanks to
Huiwen, Ying Xian and Dhiraj from the Superkids/ 'I Am Gifted' team.

Special thanks also to Fredrick Tan, Dr. Peter Yan, Dr. Cheah Yin Mee
    and Radiah from Adam Khoo Learning Centre. To Queenie and
   Webster from Adam Khoo Learning Technologies Group Sdn Bhd
   (Malaysia) and to Susanna S Hartawan, Alien Tan, Anni Bahar and
  Sintawati Halim from PT Adam Khoo Learning Technologies Group
(Indonesia). And to all the staff who have contributed to building a great
     place where all of us love to work in…you know who you are!

 To the entire staff of Adam Khoo Learning Technologies Group, who
have dedicated their time and effort to make this company the number 1
 public training company in Singapore and a market leader in schools.

 To my friends, Shahnaz, Petrina, Marcus Tan, Cheryl Th am, Lydia
 & Woei Tang, Kalai, Lin Kuek, Jaelle Ang, Kyrie, Kristy, Theresa,
Vivian Lim and many more that I have not mentioned, thanks for being
   an integral part of my journey and allowing me to appreciate the

                                                                     ii      SECRETS
                                                                          SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                     TEENS
                       wonders of what life has to offer. To my business partners in
                   Bodynav Institute and best mates, Max and Wilson, thanks for holding
                               the fort and building the company with me.

                This book is also dedicated to the many coaches who have given their
               heart and soul to make a Difference in the lives of many teens and children
               in the “I Am Gifted, So Are You!™” and the “SuperKids™” programs.

               To my principals, teachers and lecturers from St Andrew's junior school,
               Secondary school, Junior college and The National University of Singapore
                 who taught me the good values and beliefs that have shaped me into
               the person I am today. To my mentors and trainers who have shared with
                 me invaluable knowledge about being successful in life, Dr. Richard
                Bandler, Dr. Tad James, John La Valle, Paul McKenna, George Bein,
                      Ernest Wong, Eric Jensen, Rich Allen and David Freeman.

                 To the many schools and organizations that I have trained, thank you
               for your invaluable support and opportunities to forge close partnerships.
                        I look forward to greater bonds in many years to come.




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                 About Adam Khoo
Adam Khoo is an entrepreneur, a best-selling author and a peak
performance trainer. A self-made millionaire by the age of 26, he
owns and runs several businesses with a combined annual turnover
of over $30 million. He is the Executive Chairman of Adam Khoo Learning
Technologies Group Pte Ltd, one of Asia's Largest Public Training
Companies and Education Group.

Adam is also the best-selling
author of nine other books
including 'I Am Gifted, So Are
You!', 'How to Multiply Your
Child's Intelligence', 'Clueless in
Starting a Business' and 'Master
Your Mind, Design Your Destiny',
which was the second highest
selling book in Singapore in
2004 and has been on the Straits
Times Life! best-sellers list for
thirty-six weeks. His others books
include 'Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires', 'Secrets of Millionaire
Investors', 'Secrets of Building Multi-Million Dollar Businesses' and
'Profit from the Panic'.

Adam holds an honors degree in business administration from the
National University of Singapore. As an undergraduate, he was
ranked among the top one percent of academic achievers and became
a pioneer in the Talent Development Program, which is the university's
gifted program.

Over the last 20 years, he has trained over 550,000 students, teachers,
professionals, executives and business owners to tap their personal
power and achieve excellence in their various fields of endeavor.

His success and achievements are regularly featured in regional
media such as the Straits Times, the Business Times, the New Paper,
Lianhe Zaobao, Channel News Asia, Channel U, Channel 8, Newsradio
938, The Hindu, The Malaysian Sun, The Star and many more. In
2008, 'The Executive Magazine' ranked Adam among the 25 richest
Singaporeans under the age of 40.

                                                                  iv      SECRETS
                                                                       SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                  TEENS
                                    About Gary Lee
                                                  Mr. Gary Lee is the Regional Head of
                                                  Training Division and Master Trainer
                                                 for AKLTG, training flagship programs
                                                 such as the “Transformation Teaching”
                                                 workshops, the “I Am Gifted, So Are
                                                You!™” and the “Super Kids™” training
                                                programs conducted by the company. A
                                                Trainer since 2000, Gary has trained
                                               participants regionally in countries
                                               including Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand,
                                               Singapore and India.

               Gary has been involved in training programs and learning methodologies
               since the age of 15. Having years of extensive experience with countless
               adolescents and children ranging from those with academic difficulties
               to those with learning disabilities and childhood traumas, he has helped
               countless teens and children to believe in themselves and overcome all
               odds in order to be the best they can be. His core brain based learning
               competencies include the learning brain from a neuroscience approach,
               the fragile brain with learning disabilities, and applications of brain based
               learning from a classroom perspective. He is also the co-author of the
               book “Nurturing the Winner & Genius in your child”, which was on the
               National bestseller list for 14 weeks.

               A licensed Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming™ (NLP), a brain
               based certified trainer and an MBTITM accredited Facilitator, Gary
               coaches numerous people towards professional and personal excellence
               in the adult programs that AKLTG has under its wing. Today, he mentors
               working professionals to reignite their motivation and passion to better
               their communication at work and at home. As a certified Master clinical
               Hypnotherapist and hypnotist under the National Guild of Hypnotists
               (NGH) and International Association of Counselors and Therapists
               (IACT), Gary uses the knowledge he has to help organizations resolve
               conflicts, team build and gain personal mastery through emotional
               intelligence, and also to help parents understand their children through
               the many ad-hoc parenting talks that he has conducted for many years.

               Once a below average student, Gary used the strategies and methodologies
               that he shares today to catapult himself to the top 5% students in his

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Secondary School. Gary has since graduated from the National University
of Singapore. While studying in NUS, he balanced his time between his
academic work and rigorous career as a trainer. Today, while training
and managing staff strength of about 30 people, he found the time to
pursue a financial MBA from Manchester Business School.

He was also personally trained under many other gurus in their own
specialized fields including Adam Khoo, NLP™ Master Trainer & creator
of Timeline Therapy™ Dr. Tad James, Co-Creator of NLP Dr. Richard
Bandler and, in the United States, Dr. George Bein, NGH certified instructor
and well known Hypnotherapist and Eric Jensen, author and pioneer of
many well-known brain based learning materials and programs.

Gary lives by the success paradigms he shares with the people he has
trained. Amidst his daily training schedule, he is also currently a director
of a learning company and a co-founder of another company dealing in
holistic health. In his many entrepreneurial endeavors, Gary has learnt
and mastered the various challenges in business building and managing
people which he infuses into his training.




                                                                       vi      SECRETS
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                Table Of Contents
Acknowledgements                                                  i
About Adam Khoo & Gary Lee                                       iv

Chapter ONE      :   Unleash the Winner Within                    1

Chapter TWO      :   The Awesome Power You Have                 23

Chapter THREE    :   If You Believe You Can, You Can!           39

Chapter FOUR     :   Must I Love Myself?                         57

Chapter FIVE     :   School, Is It Really Important?             75

Chapter SIX      :   Mastering Your Mind for Success            89

Chapter SEVEN :      Think Big And Make It Happen!              109

Chapter EIGHT    :   Friends Make You or They Break You         141

Chapter NINE     :   Making Parents Our Partners                163

Chapter TEN      :   The Big Secret to Scoring ‘A’s [Part I]    183

Chapter ELEVEN :     The Big Secret to Scoring ‘A’s [Part II]   207
CHAPTER   ONE
UNLEASHING
THE WINNER WITHIN
  CHAPTER
  ONE          Unleashing the
               Winner Within
Hi! My name is Adam and I’m the guy who wrote this book.

I don’t know about you, but when I was younger, I never liked to read
anything but comics. I found books boring and preferred to entertain
myself gaming or watching TV.

So, if you are like me, I can understand that reading this book may seem
like a big stretch. This is why we have packed this book with lots of
pictures, snazzy designs and fascinating stories to make our learning
journey as exciting as possible.

I don’t know if your parents bought this book for you to read, or you
picked it up yourself. Whatever the case, I promise that I will be sharing
with you answers to questions and problems about life and school that
you have been searching for.

I know because I was one bored teenager (and near bottom of the class)
not too long ago. So here in this book I will show you how to deal with
all the problems you face as a teen.

The ideas and strategies I will reveal will not only make your life a whole
lot easier (yup! being a student can be really stressful and tough), but also
show you how to make your teenage years exciting and successful.

                                    Playing the Teenage Game Can Be
                                    Tough, So Here are the ‘Cheat’ Codes
                                    Feeling overwhelmed by so many
                                    problems everyday? Demanding
                                    parents, peer pressure, extra curricular
                                    activities, homework, depression. Or
                                    maybe tough exams, boring teachers,
                                    class projects, tuition teachers, irritating
                                    brothers and sisters, nagging mothers...
                                    the list goes on.

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                                                                              SUCCESSFUL OF
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                 To say that teenage life can be overwhelming and stressful is an
                 understatement! Playing the teenage game can sometimes be tougher
                 than playing the latest PS or Xbox RPGs! In real life, there appear to
                 be a whole lot more ‘enemies’ we need to tackle simultaneously, many
                 things we cannot seem to control, and levels which are a whole lot more
                 difficult to get pass.

                 At the same time, in real-life we can’t hit
                 the restart button. If we make big
                 mistakes & mess up, we can’t start all over
                 again from square one. We have to face
                 painful consequences for wrong decisions.
                 This is why it is really important to
                 play the game of Real-LIFE armed
                 with the most effective tools!

                 Isn’t it great when you can get
                 your hands on ‘game strategy’ books
                 and cheat codes, where they tell you
                 how to easily win certain games? You know exactly where the weapons
                 are, which shortcuts to take, where the enemies are coming from, how to
                 perform secret moves, and how to give yourself extra ‘power ups’!

                 The good news is that there are winning strategies and ‘cheat codes’
                 in the game of real life as well! Read along and I will show you the secrets
                 and strategies you can use to stop losing and start winning.

                 I have discovered that confident, happy and successful teens are NOT
                 necessarily born with ‘superior talent’, ‘extraordinary intelligence’,
                 ‘motivated genes’, or ‘super good looks’ (although it may seem so). It’s
                 just that they have discovered the right strategies of how to win at the
                 game of life.


                         Imagine yourself being able to...
                         ✌ Balance your work, play and family effectively
                         ✌ Achieve top grades in school
                         ✌ Get along with your parents
                           (even though they may still drive you crazy at times)
                         ✌ Motivate yourself whenever you feel lazy
                         ✌ Make friends easily and become popular in school
                         ✌ Confidently deal with any challenges
                         ✌ Make smarter decisions


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All these things may seem a million miles away if you are not doing too
well right now. However, let me tell you that no matter how lousy your
results have been in the past, they can improve really fast when YOU
want to make that change, and when you have the ‘cheat codes’ to make
the best decisions and take the right actions. Plus, if you are already doing
‘okay,’ think about how much better you can do with the right tools.

So What Makes Me the Expert?
Now, you may be thinking to yourself that
all this sounds really good, but what makes
me such an expert to tell you how to make
your life more successful?

Well, what makes me a super expert
at turning failure into success is
that I used to be a super screw up!
That’s right! I hate to admit it, but I
used to be a total loser, with a capital ‘L’.
Every stupid decision and mistake that
could have possibly been made by a teenager was made by me.

Yet, despite all my failures and mistakes, and my starting out way behind
everybody else, I managed to finally turn my life around 180 degrees
and achieve success in every area of my life, in school and beyond.

My Story…Starting Way Behind




I know that there are some really lucky people who are born ‘gifted’,
‘talented’, ‘full of confidence’ and with superb physiques.

I was NOT one of them.

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                                                                            SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                       TEENS
                 In my younger days (back in Primary School), I was a blur, pimple-faced,
                 skinny boy who was not very good at learning anything at all. I found it
                 difficult to understand anything I had to read, or anything the teacher
                 taught the first time round.

                 I kept forgetting what I had learned, made careless mistakes and was
                 especially bad at Math and Chinese language.

                 As a result, I did not like school or studying. I found it all too boring and
                 difficult. I preferred to read comics, watch TV and play computer
                 games. At school, I got bored during lessons, so I would entertain
                 myself by picking fights and annoying my teachers. Sure enough, my
                 average grades were ‘D’s and ‘F’s, and each year I landed in the
                 worst class in St. Stephens Primary School. Things got so bad that I was
                 expelled for fighting in class when I was in Primary three (age 8).

                 Fortunately, another school (Ngee Ann Primary) took me in the next year.
                 However, I still did not learn my lesson and continued fighting and fooling
                 around. When I sat for my National Exams (Primary School Leaving
                 Exams) at age 12, I did so badly that I was rejected from all six secondary
                 schools that my parents had chosen.

                 In the end, I was posted to a new, neighborhood school called
                 ‘Ping Yi.’ Although I had great teachers there, I chose to mix around
                 with the wrong group of classmates. Because of all the negative
                 influence and peer pressure, I started smoking, fighting and fooling
                 around once again.

                 Sure enough, my grades continued to suck big-time. By the end of
                 secondary one, I was failing six out of eight subjects and was ranked
                 among the bottom students in the class. I felt totally hopeless and
                 believed that I could never do well. At that time, I believed that I was
                 not as 'smart' or as 'intelligent' as other students. I believed that no matter
                 how hard I tried to study, I could never do well anyway.

                 It did not help that many people around me reinforced this negative
                 self-image I had. My tuition teachers, my relatives and some of my
                 school teachers kept saying things such as, 'why are you lazy?', or 'what
                 is wrong with you?', or 'why can't you understand such simple things?'

                 There are some people who are not too good in their studies, but
                 excel in sports, CCAs or other activities, right? Again, I was NOT
                 one of them. I seemed to suck in my studies AND everything else I did.

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I was a weak, skinny kid who had very little confidence in himself. In
secondary one, I thought it would be cool (as I was always fighting) to
join the National Cadet Corps for students (a Military Corp) as part of
my school's extra curricular activity requirement. Guess what happened?

I fainted during the first parade, after standing at attention for 30 minutes.
My application was subsequently rejected after I failed the entry tests
(I could not run fast enough, nor march in rhythm).

At the same time, I had constant coughs and colds, and poor stamina.
I would get breathless whenever I ran for more than ten minutes. As
a result, I could not pass the annual National Physical Fitness tests, and
was totally embarrassed when the girls in my class overtook me.

All these lousy experiences sank my self-esteem and confidence to
rock bottom. As a result, I never bothered to take any kind of initiative,
nor did I volunteer for anything. I preferred to 'act blur' and 'take cover'
whenever opportunities were offered.

It did not help that, at the same time, my parents were getting a divorce.
As I was an only child, I became even more depressed and withdrawn.
I felt that everybody was looking down on me.

In my family, most of my cousins were straight 'A' students in
prestigious schools, and winners of scholarships, while I seemed to
be the 'black sheep.'

To make things worse, my father remarried and the next thing I knew,
I had a stepmother and a stepsister. When I found out that my
stepsister was a straight ‘A’ student in Raffles Girls School (one of
the top schools in Singapore), and in the Gifted Programme to boot,
the mere comparison made me feel like an even bigger loser.

Discovering the Winner In Myself
So how did I get from a total loser
to a super successful teenager, and
to where I am today?

Well, at the end of secondary one,
when my life had hit absolute rock
bottom, I actually got totally sick and tired of being a
‘nobody’ and a ‘loser.’ I wanted really badly to change
my life, but had no idea how to do it.

                                                                         7      SECRETS
                                                                             SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                        TEENS
                 The turning point in my life came when I was 13-years-old. In desperation,
                 my father sent me to a motivational camp conducted during one of my
                 school holidays. It was at this Camp that I was exposed to life transforming
                 ideas and tools.

                 You see, I used to believe that other kids were more successful because
                 they were born 'smarter', 'more talented,' 'more motivated' and also had
                 better teachers and perfect parents. I used to believe that I could never be
                 anything like them.

                 Then, in the camp, I was totally inspired when I learned that actually,
                 deep inside, we are all born WINNERS. We all have the power to achieve
                 any kind of success we want. It is just that we have not learned how to
                 use our power (you will learn about this power in chapter two).

                 I learned that every person has the same potential for success. If anyone
                 can achieve anything he/she sets his/her mind to do, then so could I. It
                 was only a question of using the right strategies.

                 Fully charged up and wildly excited after that 5-day camp, I started to
                 read books on HOW to motivate myself, how to improve my memory,
                 how to speed-read, how to improve my concentration, how to make notes,
                 and how to manage my time effectively.

                 (I share all these learning strategies in the later chapters of this book, as
                 well as in my first best-selling book, 'I Am Gifted, So Are You!')

                 Aiming for the Sky
                 Once I changed my beliefs and attitudes about myself, and learned
                 these powerful learning strategies, I decided to aim for the sky!

                 I set four big goals for myself and wrote
                 them on a big sheet of paper that I pasted
                 up on the wall in my room. My goals were:

                 #1: Become the top student in my school within
                     a year. (Remember that I was failing 6 out
                     of 8 subjects at the time).

                 #2: Get into Victoria Junior College (VJC).




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Winner Withi
#3: Get into the National University of Singapore.
    (You have to be among the top 10% of students in the country to
    qualify for a place).

#4: Start my own business and become a millionaire by the age of 26!
    (This seemed pretty crazy too).

I must admit that setting those four goals seemed totally impossible
and crazy at the time. But you know what? The excitement of possibly
achieving them really challenged me to give my very best.

I started doing things that I had never done before: paying attention in
class, asking questions whenever I did not understand, making effective
notes, using memory techniques, learning from past mistakes, and actually
preparing for exams.

Achieving the ‘Impossible’

After a year of taking action and applying everything I had learned,
I received my secondary two report card with my exam results.

I did NOT top my school. However, I managed to climb from the
bottom of my level to among the top 20 students! Although I did not reach
my goal, I felt tremendously successful because of the big improvement
I had made.

So, the next year, I set my goal once again to top the school. Did I make
it this time? No! However, I improved again, this time to rank among the
top 10 students in secondary three.

The next year, I set my goal to score straight 8 ‘A’s for the Cambridge
‘O’ Level Examinations. When the results came out, I found out I did
not get the 8 ‘A’s I had aimed for; still, I achieved 7’A’s! The results
qualified me to get into Victoria Junior College, helping me achieve my
second goal.

After scoring straight ‘A’s for the Cambridge ‘A’ level examinations,
I achieved my third goal of getting a place in the National University
of Singapore, where I studied Business Administration.

Once in university, I continued to give my very best and apply all the
highly effective learning strategies I had mastered (you will learn these
in chapter 6). Within a year, I was ranked among the top 1% of academic

                                                                    9      SECRETS
                                                                        SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                   TEENS
                 achievers in the university, earning a place in the elite Talent Development
                 Program (the university’s gifted programme).

                 Within three years, I completed my 4-year honours degree; I had been
                 placed on the Dean’s List every consecutive year. The best part about
                 learning super fast and knowing how to manage my time effectively was
                 that I wrote my first book, ‘I Am Gifted, So Are You!’, and started two
                 businesses while I was still an undergraduate.

                 Achieving Success Beyond School
                 By the time I graduated (at 24), I had built two profitable businesses:
                 a mobile disco company, 'Creatsoul Entertainment', and 'Adam Khoo
                 & Associates.' The latter was a company that I set up in order to train
                 school students to achieve good grades and personal success. I was earning
                 $1,000 an hour as a trainer, and was featured in the local newspapers.

                 Over the next two years, I expanded my businesses, became the Chief
                 Executive Officer (CEO) of my own companies, and also invested
                 intelligently in property and the stock market; All of these led me to
                 achieve my first million by the age of 26.

                 I had finally completed all four goals I had set 11 years before, at the
                 age of 13.

                 If I, a 'Total Loser,' Can Do It, Then So Can You!
                 What I want to impress upon you is that ANYONE can change. If I
                 could turn my life around, from a total loser to a spectacularly successful
                 person, so can you. You have the same potential I have and, in the chapters
                 to come, you will soon learn to use your latent power.

                 If you are ready to begin, I am going to share with you my first secret…

                                           The Ultimate Success Formula
                                           One of the first secrets I discovered was that
                                           there is a formula for success. People who achieve
                                                        success in studies, in sports, in making
                                                        friends, in relationships, and later
                                                        in their careers and wealth-building,
                                                        do so NOT because of luck or lucky
                                                        circumstances.

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Winner Withi
What I found was that people who succeed follow a series of steps that
I call the ‘Ultimate Success Formula’. There are 8 steps in this formula.
Let’s now learn what they are.

    Step 1: Set a Goal
The first step to achieve success in anything
is to set a
clear goal to
achieve
it.




                          If you don’t know what you want, then how can
                          you possibly achieve it? If you want to score
                          90% in your next Math test, you have to first
                          set a goal to do it. If you want to become a
                          student leader, you have to first see yourself
achieving this in your mind. If you cannot see your target, how can you
take the necessary steps to hit it?

So what do you want? To score 90% for Math? Score 8 ‘A’s for the
coming exams? Be ranked fifth in class? Become a student leader? Win
a scholarship? Win a sports competition or a talent quest? Which college
are you aiming to get into?

If you have no idea what goals you should set for yourself or what you
really want, don’t worry. 97% of people have no idea either. In chapter
8, you are going to learn about the awesome power of setting goals and
how to use it to create the future you want...starting Today.

    Step 2: Use the Right Strategy
Once they set their mind on a goal, the second step that all successful
people take is to find the right strategy to achieve it. For any kind of
goal that you want, there is ALWAYS a strategy to achieve it.

If you want to get 100% for a Math paper, there is a strategy to do it. If
you want to be a millionaire, there is a strategy to do it. If you want to
make friends easily and have people really like you, there is a strategy
behind it.

                                                                    11      SECRETS
                                                                         SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                    TEENS
                 So how do you find the right strategy? The fastest possible way would
                 be to study people who have already achieved the goals that you have.
                 By taking them as role models and learning exactly how they did it, you
                 can achieve those goals as well.

                 Again, this is exactly what I did. To achieve my goal of scoring straight
                 ‘A’s and becoming a top student, I learned the strategies that top students
                 used. To achieve my goal of becoming an effective leader, I modeled the
                 way good leaders behaved and communicated to others.

                 In chapters 10 and 11, I will reveal to you the strategies of how to score
                 distinctions in exams. In chapter 8, you will learn the secrets of how
                 to make friends and become popular, and in chapter 9 you will learn
                 the strategies of how to get along with your parents.

                     Step 3: Take Action

                 The third step is the most important step of all. It is to simply TAKE
                 ACTION! To give it your best shot.

                 Many people never succeed because they may set great goals, know
                 exactly what to do, but don’t take action. Instead, they keep procrastinating
                 and saying things such as, ‘I will do it later’, or ‘I will do it tomorrow.’
                           STEP 1                       So what stops most people from
                            GOALS                       taking action? What stops them
                                                        from practicing daily for the next
                                  STEP 2
                                                        big game? What stops them from
                                                        communicating positively to their
                                    STRATEGY            parents?

                         STEP 3                        There are usually two emotions that
                            ACTION                     stop them: ‘Laziness’ and ‘Fear.’ Do
                                                       these emotions stop you from taking
                                                       action as well? Well, in chapter 6,
                                                       you are going to learn how to program
                                                       your brain to overcome laziness, and
                                                       motivate yourself instantly.

                 Again, I took step 3 as well. Once I set my goals and learned the right
                 strategies, I went back to school and took massive action. I applied
                 the strategies consistently and started getting results.



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     Step 4: Achieve Success or Get a Learning Experience

When you take action and attain the goal that you have set, you will have
achieved ‘Success’. For example, if you went all out to run to become a
student leader, and you got elected, then (again) you would be successful.

However, do you ALWAYS achieve success when you take action? Of
course not! Many times, you may take action but you will not achieve
your goal. Most people call this FAILURE! People tend to be so afraid
of ‘failure’, that they rather not even set goals in the first place. ‘What if
I set a goal and fail?’ is what most people think. ‘It would be a lot safer
to just stop dreaming and accept whatever life gives me’.

                                        Many of us are taught to believe that
                                        successful people are those who never
                                        fail and always get what they aim for.
                                        Well, let me shock you with the
                                        TRUTH about successful people.
                                        Successful people not only fail, but
                                        they fail EVEN MORE than average
   The Loser: “When I Fail,             people do. This is because they tend
   I Give Lots of Excuses,              to go for it a lot more!
   Blame Others and Quit.”

The ultimate difference between people who eventually succeed and those
who never ever succeed is what they do when they fail. When ‘Losers’
fail, they will tend to give lots of excuses, blame other people and
quit. People with this ‘loser’ mentality will obviously never ever achieve
any kind of success in their life.

Do 'Winners' fail? Of course they do.
The difference is that when people
with the 'Winner's mindset' don't reach
their goals, they don't see this experience
as failure (as most other people do).

They see it as a 'Learning Experience':    The Winner: “When I Fail,
their strategy is not working. Instead     I Learn from My Mistakes
of feeling bad, they get motivated         Until I Succeed.”
because they have 'learned something'
and are closer to their goals than those people who have never even tried
at all. Winners believe that the only way they can fail is to not even give
it a shot. Not taking action is the greatest failure of all.

                                                                         13      SECRETS
                                                                              SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                         TEENS
                                                        STEP 1

                                                         GOALS                        - -S-E-5-
                                                                                          TP




                                                                                                  Su
                                                              STEP 2

                                                 nge             STRATEGY




                                                                                                  c cess
                          STEP 4            cha
                          Learning                   STEP 3
                         Experience
                                                         ACTION




                                                                                                  -
                                                                                           ---
                                                                                      --
                         Failure

                            “You Miss 100% of the Shots You Never Take”
                                     – Wayne Gretzky, World’s Greatest Hokey Player




                                                 Winners Believe:
                                       Failures Bring You Closer to Success
                                                    Losers Believe:
                                              Failure is the End of Success


                         Step 5: Keep Changing Your Strategy Until
                                 You Succeed
                 So, what do winners do when they get a learning experience? Well, they
                 don’t quit. Instead, they learn from their mistakes, change their strategy
                 and take action again.

                 They will keep repeating this process UNTIL they succeed.




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                                    STEP 1

                                    GOALS                   - -S-E-5-
                                                                TP




                                                                        Su
                                          STEP 2
                               ge
                                             STRATEGY




                                                                        c cess
                             n
        STEP 4           cha
       Learning                  STEP 3
      Experience
                                    ACTION




                                                                        -
                                                                  ---
                                                             --
       Failure
My Mandarin Challenge
So, did I ‘fail’ many times before I eventually succeeded in achieving my
goals? You bet!

In Singapore, it is compulsory to pass Chinese in order to qualify for
junior college and university. My big problem was that Chinese was my
worst ever subject, one that I could never get close to passing, let alone
excel in. The trouble was that I come from a family where nobody can
speak Mandarin.

So, when I entered Primary one, I had no idea what the Chinese
teacher was talking about. After she insulted me for being ‘stupid’,
I developed a mental block for the language and vowed never to
learn it. My Chinese became so bad, that I would score an average of
                                   20%-30% for any test or exam.

                                          In secondary school, I continued to
                                          fail all my Chinese tests, getting
                                          marks of 20%-30% (I did not even
                                          bother to study). Then, at the end
                                          of secondary three, I started to panic
                                          when I realized that I had to pass
                                          my Chinese to get into Junior
                                          College. So, I set a goal to score a
                                          ‘B’ within a year.

                                          After setting the goal, I started to
                                          look for a strategy to memorize

                                                                            15      SECRETS
                                                                                 SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                            TEENS
                 Chinese words and prepare for the exam. I took massive action for my
                 final year exam (secondary 3). However, instead of hitting my goal of
                 getting a ‘B’ (above 65%),’ I still failed! Only this time I managed to get
                 40%+.

                 Failing Again and Again...But Never Quitting

                 I took it as a learning experience and starting learning from all my mistakes
                 in grammar, spelling and vocabulary. I set my goal again to hit a ‘B’ for
                 the National ‘O’ Level exams in June of 1990 (secondary 4). When the
                 results came out, I found out I had failed with an ‘F’ (Below 40%)! It
                 turned out that the national exams were even tougher than I had expected,
                 and so I fared even worse.

                 I started to have doubts that I could ever pass this tough subject. It did
                 not help that even my Chinese teacher told me I was a hopeless case.
                 However, I renewed my self-motivation and knew I had a chance to
                 retake the paper at the end of the year. So, I reviewed what I had
                 done wrong, changed my study strategy and gave my very best for
                 the 'O' Level exams.

                 When the results came out the following year, I was devastated to learn
                 that I had gotten only an 'E' (40%-45%). Although it was a slight
                 improvement, the fail mark meant that I could NOT get into junior college
                 (even though I had scored straight 'A's for all my other 7 subjects).
                 Officially, it was my last chance because I had to leave school to serve
                 in the Singapore Army.

                 However, I still didn't quit my dream of being accepted into Victoria
                 Junior College. I knew that I had one final slim chance. I could retake my
                 Chinese exam as a private candidate while serving time in the Army. This
                 time, I totally changed my strategy. I learned and applied a special memory
                 technique to memorize the entire Chinese dictionary within six months,
                 and I memorized over 50 Chinese essays.

                 A year later, I went to sit for the Chinese paper in my Army uniform, still
                 keeping in mind my target of getting a 'B.' I knew that this was my very
                 last chance to achieve my dream. When I got my results three months
                 later, I found that I had gotten a 'C' - pass! Although I did not hit my
                 target, I got close enough to qualify for junior college.

                 One of the most important lessons that I would like to share with you is
                 that in life you don't always hit your goal, but success is about getting as

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Winner Withi
close as you can to that goal. You will always achieve that success if you
are committed to constantly changing your strategy and taking action!

So, what kept me going? Why didn't I give up? Well, the one thing that
kept me going was that I learned to have absolute faith that 'I CAN do it',
and that 'I will ALWAYS find a way to succeed.' So, step six is…

     Step 6: Empowering Beliefs

The sixth ingredient that you must have in order to succeed is a very
strong set of empowering beliefs that 'YOU CAN SUCCEED.' It is only
when you strongly believe in yourself that you will dare to set high goals
and keep going on, without ever giving up.

Losers never succeed because they lack strong beliefs. As a result, they
never dare to set any goals, thinking 'I could never do it' or ‘It is impossible
for me.'

In chapter three, you will learn about the awesome power of beliefs and
how they can turn the 'impossible' into 'possible.'



            ULTIMATE SUCCESS FORMULA
                       -- - - - - - - -               --      -         -- --
                                                - ---                           ---
                                                                                      -
                                           --
                                       STEP 6                                             STEP 7

                                       BELIEFS                    SELF ESTEEM
                                                                                      --
                                  --




                                                                                          -- -
                         - --




                                                                                     -- --
               - -- - - -- -- - -- -




                                                     STEP 1
                                                                                      S TE - E




                                                     GOALS               - -S-E-5-
                                                                             TP
                                                                                          P8
                                                                                     Su




                                                         STEP 2
                                                                                               n v i ro n




                                                ge
                                                              STRATEGY
                                                                                                 c c e s s en t




                                           n
   STEP 4                              cha
  Learning
                        --




                                                STEP 3
 Experience
                                                                                                          m




                                                     ACTION
                    ---




                                                                                                           -




                                            ---
                                 - --




                                           -- - - -
  Failure                                      -- - -
                                                      - -- ---- - - - - -- - - --
                                                                                  --


                                                                                                         17          SECRETS
                                                                                                                  SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                                                             TEENS
                      Step 7: High Self-Esteem
                 The 7th factor that all successful people have is a high level of self-esteem.
                 When you have high self-esteem, you will have a strong sense of
                 self-worth, and the confidence to set high goals, take action and learn
                 from your mistakes.

                 Teens with low self-esteem will never dare to 'go for it' and 'make mistakes.'
                 Their fear of 'looking bad' will keep them from achieving anything in life.
                 In chapter 4, you are going to learn how to measure your self-esteem,
                 how to love yourself, and how to build a strong sense of self-worth that
                 will bring out the best in you.

                      Step 8: Get Support from Your Environment
                 While you can do your best to take charge of your life, there are two
                 major factors in your environment that will constantly shape your happiness
                 and success. They are your FRIENDS and your PARENTS.

                 Our friends and parents are constantly affecting how we think, how
                 we feel and what we do, aren't they?
                 You can set great goals and do your
                 best to believe in yourself,
                 but if you surround yourself
                 with negative friends, they
                 will soon pull you down and
                 make you feel bad. In chapter
                 8, you will learn how smart
                 teens choose the right friends
                 to help them achieve success.

                 Parents can affect us a lot too,
                 right? Sometimes, over-protective,
                 nagging and over critical parents can make us feel really lousy about
                 ourselves. But don’t worry, you are going to learn the secrets of how
                 to win your parents over and rope them in to become your partners - No
                 kidding! This is in chapter 9!




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How to Get the Most Out of this Book
Now that I have given you an idea of what this book is all about, let me
share with you how YOU can get the most out of it.

Many people ask me this question: 'Can reading a book really change
my life?' My answer is always: 'No! No book can ever change your
life. It is only YOU who can change your life.' The book can only
give you the tools to help you create success for yourself. However,
all this knowledge that I will share with you is worthless UNLESS you
take action and apply it!

So, I encourage you not to just read this book like any other ordinary
book. If you allow me, I would like to be your personal coach; to talk to
you as if I were right there with you. As I coach you, I am going to ask
you to do some really important activities so you can reflect on your
thoughts and immediately use what you are learning.

On the pages that follow, please feel free to underline important ideas and
jot down notes and whatever personal thoughts you may have. The more
you participate actively, the more benefit you will get from this book.

Reflection 1: What Challenges Are You Facing?
                   Before you can achieve the success that you want, you
                   must first be aware of all the challenges that are
                   stopping you right now.

                   So, in the space on page 21, write down all the
                   challenges you are facing in school. The challenges
                   you face in your relationships. The challenges you
                   have with your family. The challenges you have
                   with life in general.

(P.S. I prefer to use the word 'challenges' instead of 'problems' because
the former seems a lot more exciting)




                                                                     19      SECRETS
                                                                          SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                     TEENS
                 Challenges That Other Teens Face

                 Now, let's look at the problems that other teens all over the world are
                 facing. Here is a list of common challenges I have compiled after asking
                 thousands of students who have gone through my programs.

                     Laziness                                 Lack of focus
                     Easily distracted                        No confidence
                     No motivation                            Fear of failure
                     No interest in studying                  Procrastination
                     Nagging parents                          Slow learner
                     Boring teachers                          Bad memory
                     Stress                                   Peer pressure
                     Annoying brothers/sisters                Bullied in school
                     Not enough time                          Too demanding parents
                     Cannot concentrate                       Feel depressed
                     Not enough money                         Easily bored
                     Addicted to computer games               Discouraging teachers


                 Are your problems similar to the ones listed above? If they are, then don't
                 worry. You are 'perfectly normal.' The difference between successful and
                 unsuccessful students is that successful teens have found strategies to
                 overcome these challenges, whilst the latter have not.




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Reflection 2: What Do You Want to Achieve from this Book?

                  In order to get the most out of this book, you must
                  also read it with a purpose in mind. When you have
                  a clear outcome of what you want, your brain will help
                  you get there a lot faster.

                  So, if there were at least 5 CHANGES you would like
                  to make in your life, what would they be? To be more
                  motivated? To learn much faster? To make smarter
decisions? Write down your answers in the space below.




Great! Now that you know what you want to change and what is stopping
you, let’s begin this learning journey by discovering...




                                                                   21      SECRETS
                                                                        SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                   TEENS
CHAPTER   TWO
THE AWESOME
POWER YOU HAVE
  CHAPTER
  TWO          The Awesome
               Power You Have
When I was younger, I always wished I had magical powers, just like
the ones of my favourite super heroes. I believed that if I had such
powers, all my problems would magically disappear! I could stop
my parents from nagging, make myself a hundred times smarter, predict
all the test questions, or turn my teachers into cute babes.

Alas, I was a very ordinary teen. I felt like I had no control over any of
the things that were happening in my life. I had no control over my bad
memory, my negative teachers, my nagging parents or my friends.
I couldn’t even control my moods. As a result, I felt pretty hopeless.
I felt that things could never change for the better.

Do you feel the same way sometimes?

You Actually Have an Awesome Power

                        My life started to change when I discovered that
                        I actually did possess an amazing power within
                        me and that if I tapped into it, I could change
                        anything in my life. It is a power that I started to
                        use in order to change how I felt, change my
                        grades, change how my parents treated me, and,
                        most of all, change myself from a loser to a winner.

I am here to tell you all that YOU have this same power too!

So, what is this power? The power I am talking about is the power you
have to make CHOICES.

You can choose to be a winner, or choose to be a loser. You can choose
to be rich and successful in your future, or choose to be poor and
unhappy. You can choose to be lazy, or choose to be motivated.

Success or happiness is not something that happens to you by accident.
It is a choice that you make.

                                                                      25      SECRETS
                                                                           SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                      TEENS
                 You May Have Not Chosen Your Outer World,
                 But You Choose Your Inner World
                 Now, you may be thinking to
                 yourself: ‘Wait a minute...there
                 are many things in my life that
                 I had no choice over! I could
                 not have chosen my parents.
                 I could not have chosen to
                 be born rich instead of poor,
                 nor could I have chosen to be
                 smart instead of slow, good
                 looking instead of average’.

                 Yes, while you may have no choice
                 over what happens to you in life (I
                 call this the outer world), you do have 100% choice over your own
                 THOUGHTS and ACTIONS (I call this your inner world). Your
                 thoughts and actions are what really matter because they are the ones
                 that determine your success and happiness.

                 By choosing the right thoughts and actions, you have the POWER
                 to change what happens in the outer world. You have the POWER
                 to achieve any result that you want!




                 Let’s say you get a new History teacher one day. This teacher is super
                 boring and uses difficult words that nobody understands!

                 Does this mean that you are definitely going to flunk History? No!
                 Although you cannot change that teacher, you have a 100% choice over
                 your thoughts and actions. If you choose to sleep in class, stay blur and
                 not bother to study as the other students do, then you will very likely fail.

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 The Awesom ve      26
Power You Ha
However, you can choose to keep awake by writing notes and raising
your hands to answer questions. At worst, you can spray some water on
your face and slap yourself a few times (just kidding !)

While no one in class understands what the heck the teacher is talking
about, you could choose to read the textbook on your own and ask him
(or another tutor) questions after class... until you do understand.

In this way, you will be in control of your success! In fact, the boring
teacher may actually be a blessing in disguise for you. Because of him,
the rest of the class may fail, and you can easily become the top student!

When You Change Your Inner World, The Outer World Will Follow
One of my friends, Kate, shared her story with me. Ever since she was
young, her mum has had this habit of putting her down. She would say,
‘you are always so lazy’, ‘ you are so forgetful’, and ‘how can you succeed?’

At first, Kate let herself be discouraged by her mum’s words; she felt
inadequate and didn’t dare to reach for her goals. She kept wishing that
she had a more encouraging mum.

Then one day, after talking to me, Kate learned that she had the power
to change her life. Although she could not change her mother, she could
choose to change her thoughts and actions. She decided to think positively,
‘I can do it! I will prove it to my mum!’, and she started taking positive
action by believing in herself and working harder.

When she started to change her inner world, her outer world began
to change. Sure enough, with a lot more motivation & self-confidence,
she started to achieve more success in her grades and her tennis. When
her mum saw her success, she changed too. Instead of putting her daughter
down, her mum now praises her in front of their relatives. The funny thing
about life is that when we change, the people around us all begin to change.




         You have a Choice in Life.
            So, Choose to Win!



                                                                       27      SECRETS
                                                                            SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                       TEENS
                 Winner Or Loser? Your Choice!
                 What makes winners different from losers is NOT what happens to them.
                 Rather, it is the different choices they make.

                 I know many winners in life who were born with pretty lousy deals! Some
                 of them were born to abusive parents, born with low IQ, born into very
                 poor families, or even born paralyzed. Yet, they became super successful
                 and happy because they chose positive thoughts and actions. I will share
                 with you their stories in the pages to come, so stay tuned!

                 At the same time, I know many people who were born smart, rich and
                 good looking. However, because they chose negative thoughts and actions,
                 they ended up broke, addicted to drugs and miserable.

                 Let’s find out how people choose to become winners or losers in life.

                 The Loser

                 When losers have problems,
                 they always choose to do
                 three things. First, they
                 choose to give excuses.
                 For example, if they lose
                 a competition, they will
                 give themselves excuses
                 such as, ‘there was no time to train’, ‘I was
                 unlucky’, ‘the referee was not fair’ or ‘the
                 weather was too hot’.

                 Secondly, losers choose to blame everyone
                 else. For example, they may blame their
                 coach (‘he’s a lousy coach’). They may blame their parents (‘I inherited
                 their lousy genes’ or ‘they did not encourage me’).

                 Finally, instead of improving themselves, losers like to spend their time
                 complaining about why everything is so bad.

                 If you have found yourself doing any of these three things, don’t feel
                 bad. It is pretty normal. Most teens unknowingly go into ‘loser mode’.
                 I must admit that I was stuck in ‘loser mode’ when I was in school.
                 So what happens when you keep going into ‘loser mode’? You become
                 a loser!

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                                                        Here’s the problem:
                                                        although blaming
                                                        makes us feel good
                                                        temporarily, it doesn’t
                                                        change anything!
                                                        We will still keep
                                                        playing badly. We
                                                        will keep on losing
                                                        in the future, and then
                                                        we will feel even
                                                        worse.


When You Blame Something or Somebody,
You Are Giving Away Your Power
When you blame someone (or something), you are giving him/her
your power! For example, if you fail English and blame your teacher
for being lousy and boring, it means your teacher is the one controlling
your success! So, you have no power to change your results; only your
teacher can do so.

This is why losers feel powerless and helpless. They believe that for
things to change, other people must change. So, they let their life get
controlled by everyone and everything around them. They like to say
things such as, ‘that’s just the way I am’, ‘there’s nothing I can do’, ‘it’s
not my fault’, and ‘they ruined my day’.

The Winner

Do winners have great things just happening to them all the time?
Nope, in fact some of them may be born into
poor families, have abusive parents,
have mean teachers, or be given less
opportunities. However, they always
have the power to make their life the
way they want it.

This is because winners choose to
TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for everything that
is happening in their life. For example, if they fail
an English test, winners will take responsibility
for the situation.


                                                                         29      SECRETS
                                                                              SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                         TEENS
                 Instead of blaming and giving excuses, they believe that THEY
                 CREATED their results because of their past choices. Maybe they
                 chose not to pay attention in class, they chose not to ask questions
                 when they did not understand, they chose not to study hard enough, or
                 they studied using an ineffective strategy.

                 Taking Responsibility Gives You the Power

                 Because winners believe that they create all their results, they know that
                 they have the power to change and create different outcomes! They also
                 believe that for things to change, they must first change themselves.



                                         Take Responsibility for my Results
                                                       Beliefs…
                               “ I create my results through my thoughts and actions”
                                     & “For things to change, I must change first”



                                  Give Excuses, Blame Others and Complain
                                                      Beliefs…
                              “Other people control my results” & “I have no choice”
                               “For things to change, other people must change first”

                 Jane's Story: From Arrogant to Popular

                 One of my past participants, Jane, was a smart, good-looking student
                 who got top grades in school. She also had lots of self-confidence and
                 participated enthusiastically in various activities. Whenever
                 the teacher asked for a volunteer, she would wave her hands frantically
                 in the air, hoping to take the lead.

                 The problem was that nobody in her class liked her. They found her
                 an arrogant, bossy 'know-it-all'. Whenever she started speaking,
                 the others would roll their eyes and ignore her. She had no friends, and
                 she felt miserable.

                 At first, Jane chose to be in the 'loser mode'. When I asked her why no
                 one liked her, she gave excuses and blamed everyone else. She said things
                 such as, They're jealous of me' 'They are all mean!' 'They are stupid!' and

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'Who needs them?' As
long as she kept blaming,
nothing changed.

Then, I explained to Jane
that in order to be a
winner, she had to take
RESPONSIBILITY for
what was happening. At first, she responded , 'I did not do anything
wrong! I am not arrogant!' 'Why should I change? They should change!'

After speaking to Jane's friends, I made her realize that her answering
questions in class too many times without giving others a chance put her
classmates off. When she told people what to do without first listening
to them, she appeared bossy and arrogant.

'You have the power to make others like you if you first change your
behaviour', I told her. Indeed, when she started to give others a chance
and listen more before talking and giving her opinion, her classmates
started to be nice to her! Now she is one of the most popular students in
her school.



The Magic Formula: E + C = R
Here is a really powerful formula that you can use to turn problems into
opportunities for success. It is the formula used by winners.
It goes ' E + C = R'.

So, what does it mean? 'E' stands for 'EVENT'. An event is anything that
happens to you. For example, these are EVENTS that could happen to
any one of us:
    You fail an exam
    Your best friend betrays you
    Your girlfriend/boyfriend dumps you for someone else
    You are born poor
☺ You get an amazing teacher
    Some nasty kids hurl insults at you
☺ You get top grades for your exam
☺ You are born rich and talented
    Your parents get a divorce
    You mess up an important sports competition


                                                                    31      SECRETS
                                                                         SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                    TEENS
                 One thing about EVENTS is that they can be either good or bad. We
                 have no control over when and how these events happen, just as a
                 windsurfer has no control over where the winds blows.

                 Losers Believe that Events Create Their Outcomes
                 Losers think that the EVENTS that happen to them create their RESULTS
                 (that's what the 'R' stands for in the formula)


                 Losers Think...
                                         E    =      R
                                      ‘EVENT’   My ‘RESULTS’


                 For example, they believe that because they are born poor (the 'Event'),
                 they will have fewer opportunities than other people. And so they too will
                 end up poor (their 'Results').

                 They believe that because they have discouraging parents or lousy teachers
                 (the 'Event'), they will definitely not do well in their studies (their 'Results').

                 If someone insults or makes fun of them (the 'Event'), they will feel
                 demoralized and depressed (their 'Results').

                 Thinking that E = R will make you feel that you have no control over
                 your own success and happiness. Instead, your life is controlled by the
                 events that just happen to you!

                 Winners Know their Results Are Determined by their Choices
                 Winners, on the other hand, believe that EVENTS don't create their
                 RESULTS. Their results are determined by the CHOICES (that's what
                 'C' stands for) they make. Even if the wind blows against their sails,
                 they can choose to adjust their sails and keep going straight!


                 Winners know...
                                    E         C           R
                                         +          =
                                 ‘EVENT’   ‘CHOICE’   ‘RESULTS’



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Winners know that even if life throws at them the most lousy EVENTS,
they can achieve the RESULTS they want by making Positive Choices.

Have you ever worked really hard on something, only to have it not work
out? For example, maybe you trained really hard for an upcoming soccer
tournament. During the game, you did your very best to win, but in the
end your team lost miserably!

How did you feel? What did you do after that? Will you ever get the
chance to win in the future? It all depends on how you CHOOSE to
respond to the event.

Some people make negative choices by blaming their teammates, giving
excuses that the field was too muddy, or that the referee was unfair. They
choose to think, ' I can never win', and they give up.

What is the likely result of making these negative choices? The result is
that they will probably never succeed in the future.

On the other hand, winners make positive choices even though their events
are bad. If they lose the game, they choose to think about learning from
the mistakes they made and about the way they can play better and win
the next time. They choose to train even harder to win the next time. The
result is that they will become much better players and win future games.

Positive Choices Lead to Positive Results
Negative Choices Lead to Negative Results
So you can see that when events happen to us, we can make Positive
Choices, or we can make Negative Choices.

Obviously, choosing positive thoughts & actions leads to success, and
choosing negative thoughts and actions leads to negative results.


  Positive Choices                        Negative Choices
  • Choosing to learn from mistakes       • Choosing to blame
  • Choosing to become better             • Choosing to give excuses
  • Choosing to motivate myself           • Choosing to feel bad
  • Choosing to work even harder          • Choosing to give up
    to succeed the next time              • Choosing to do nothing



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                 So, next time an event happens in your life, don't just react without
                 thinking. Instead, push the 'Pause Button' on your forehead and choose
                 positive thoughts and actions that will lead to successful results.

                 Turning Insults into Self-Motivation
                 I remember how I used this formula to propel myself to reach my goals
                 in my 'O' level exams. After setting my goals to score straight 'A's,
                 I started making lots of colourful notes and asking lots of questions
                 in class. When some of my friends asked why I was acting so strangely
                 (I used to chat in class and fool around), I told them that I was determined
                 to top the school.

                 Guess what happened next? They burst out laughing and said that I
                 was nuts! “You are stupid and blur. How can you top the school?”
                 Usually, when events like this happened to me in the past, I would
                 choose to get angry and fight, or choose to get discouraged and quit.

                 This time, I knew that I could CHOOSE to think and act positively.
                 I chose to motivate myself by telling myself: 'The more they laugh,
                 the more motivated I will be to work hard and prove that they are
                 the idiots.' Sure enough, I felt even more motivated and inspired to
                 work harder after that.

                 The outcome? I got 7 'A's for the exams and was one of the top students.
                 If I made negative choices, I wouldn't bewriting this book right now.
                 I would probably be a bum on the streets.

                 What If You Were Born with No Arms and No Legs?
                 Does your power to choose work even if really
                 bad stuff happens to you, and all the odds are
                 stacked against you? Absolutely!

                 I would like to share a story about a guy
                 whom I truly admire. His name is Nick Vujicic
                 and he is from Australia. If you think that you
                 have had a lot of bad events happen in your
                 life, it will all seem so trivial compared to what
                 Nick has gone through.

                 Nick was born with no arms and no legs.
                 He only has one visible foot, with two toes

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attached. When he was born, the doctors told Nick's parents that he would
probably not be able to stand or walk. Everybody who saw him was
convinced that he would end up living a very sad, low quality life.

When he was in school, Nick was constantly teased by his classmates for
looking so strange. Nobody can blame him for having suicidal thoughts
at the age of 10. At first, Nick felt lousy about himself because he chose
to think negatively.

He chose to think about all the things he could not do without limbs: he
could not feed himself, he could not swim, he could not run, he could not
hold things, he could not play sports, he could not find a girlfriend etc…
By choosing to think about his weaknesses and problems, he made himself
feel bad. Do you do the same thing to yourself as well?

The turning point in Nick's life came when he realized he had the POWER
to achieve anything that he wanted. He had the POWER to become as
successful as any normal person with limbs.

He realized that being born without limbs (the 'EVENT') was something
he could not change. However, he had the power to CHOOSE his thoughts
& actions. If he chose to think positively, he could learn how to do things
without his limbs, and focus on achieving success despite his handicap.

Once Nick realized his power, he knew that he could live a life without
limits. He started to set big, inspiring goals - first to get a college education,
then to be a motivational speaker, and finally to become a best-selling author.

Today, at the age of 26, Nick has achieved much more success than 90%
of the population! He graduated from university at the age of 21 with
double major in finance and accounting, He has made millions of dollars
in his career as a motivational speaker, real estate developer and options
trader. As an inspirational speaker, he has inspired and motivated over
two million people from nineteen countries.

Through sheer will and determination, Nick can write (with two toes),
work on the computer, play the piano, play football, play golf, and even
swim. To watch videos of Nick in action, you can visit his website at
www.lifewithoutlimbs.org, or check out www.youtube.com.

So, think about it. If a person with no arms and no legs can achieve all
the success he wants: top grades, fame, love from others, wealth, can't
you do the same when you use your POWER to choose?

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                 Can You Be Born With Everything and Still End Up a Loser?
                 Are there some people who are born with the exact opposite circumstances?
                 We know that there are some ‘lucky’ people who are born rich, talented,
                 with great looks, high intelligence, and with all the opportunities handed
                 to them on a silver platter.

                 You may be thinking to yourself that these people don’t have to do
                 anything at all, they are guaranteed to be winners, right? WRONG! Many
                 people are born with great ‘Events’, but because they chose to think and
                 act negatively, they end up destroying what they have!

                 I am sure you all have heard of the superstar Britney Spears.
                 Britney was born with all the qualities and traits that most people
                 would wish to have. She was born with a beautiful face, a gorgeous
                 body, supportive parents, and a talent for singing and dancing. At a
                 young age, she was given the chance to become a singer, and became
                 a worldwide success!

                 Still, with all these great events happening to her, how did she end up?
                 If you have been reading gossip magazines, you will know that she ended
                 up as an alcoholic, drug user and convicted felon. She went through two
                 divorces, lost custody of her children, and became so depressed that she
                 went to a mental institution.

                 How did this happen? When she started experiencing difficulties and
                 problems in her life, she made negative choices. She blamed others, mixed
                 around with the wrong friends, and turned to drugs and alcohol. As a
                 result, she turned her life from success to failure.

                 So, don’t wish you had better looks, more money or better parents because
                 IT DOES NOT MATTER! What matters is that you use your power to
                 make positive choices right now.

                 The Past Does Not Equal the Future

                 If you are getting lousy results in your life right now because of wrong
                 choices you have made in the past, don’t worry! It is never too late to
                 change. The past does not equal the future.

                 Just because you have gotten lousy grades in the past does not mean
                 that you will get lousy grades in the future. Just because you have not
                 been getting along with your parents in the past does not mean that

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things will be the same in the future. The future depends on the choices
you make right NOW, in the present.

The good news is that if you start making positive choices TODAY, you
can create the success that you want TOMORROW. Today is a brand
new opportunity for you to make things right!

So, if you are ready, we are going to learn the principles and strategies
that will help you make positive choices in your life. First, let’s explore
the power of your beliefs...




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CHAPTER   THREE
IF YOU BELIEVE
YOU CAN, YOU CAN!
  CHAPTER
THREE          If You Believe You Can,
               You Can!
Welcome to chapter three! I am glad you decided to stick around.

In the last two chapters, you learned that you have the power to change
anything in your life. So, why doesn't everybody do this? Why doesn't
everybody use the ultimate success formula to get what he or she wants?
Why do so many people wish for better grades, better relationship with
their parents, entrance to great colleges, but they do not do anything about
all these desires?

What is stopping them? If you are not using your full potential right now,
what is stopping YOU?

Beliefs: The Power to Unleash Or Destroy Our Potential
The answer lies in the BELIEFS that you have. Your beliefs are what
you think you can or cannot do. They are what you think is or is not
possible for you.

                Different People Have Different Beliefs




Do you think the beliefs you have affect you? You bet! When you believe
you CAN do something, this belief immediately unlocks your potential
and unleashes your power. You start to achieve far greater results!

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                      However, when you believe you CANNOT do something, you destroy
                      your own power and lock away your potential forever.

                                      Think about it this way. Your potential is like this huge
                                      1000-gallon container of water, and your beliefs are like
                                      a tap that controls the flow of the water. When you say,
                                      'Yes, I can achieve something!’ you turn on your tap,
                                      unleashing all your potential to help you achieve what
                                       you want. The moment you tell yourself, 'I cannot do
                                       it', you turn off your tap, and your potential remains
                                       trapped inside you.

                      The Prophecy of Success and Failure

                               Beliefs                        Actions


                               Results                      Potential Tapped
                      Let’s find out how your beliefs affect your success or failure. The
                      BELIEFS that you have affect the kind of ACTIONS you take. For
                                                          example, let’s say your teacher
                                            told you when you were young that you were
                                          good at Math, and you believed him.

                                          By believing that you are good at Math, you will
                                          probably think to yourself, ‘I can score an ‘A’!’ When
                                             you believe you are good at something, you will
                                               want to do more of it. So, you will be motivated
                                               to listen attentively during math class, take down
                                               notes and practice every chance you get. If you
                      get an answer wrong for homework, you will think, ‘I can get it right the
                      next time if I learn from my mistakes, as I am good at Math’.

                      By taking all these ACTIONS, you will tap a lot of your POTENTIAL.
                      As a result, you will probably get great RESULTS for your Math exam.
                      Scoring an ‘A’ will further strengthen your belief, and you will think,
                      ‘See! I knew I was good at Math’.

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If you score a ‘C’ for the exam, you will think to yourself, ‘the reason I
did not do well was that I was just careless and not prepared enough’.
‘I am sure I CAN score an ‘A’ for the next exam if I practice even harder,
because I am good at Math!’ Sure enough, you work even harder the next
time and score a distinction. Believing in something makes it come true.
This is called a self-fulfilling prophecy.

What if you had a negative belief about Math instead? Maybe a teacher
told you that you were no good at Math, and you believed him.

                                           If you believed you were not
                           good at Math, would you take different actions?
                        You bet! You would not be interested to listen
                      in class or even bother to study. You’d think, ‘why
                         study? I am not going to do well anyway’. If
                             there were something that confused you, you
                             would think, ‘I can never understand this
                             because I am not good at Math’ and you
                             would not bother to ask questions until the
                             teacher cleared up your confusion.

Sure enough, by taking no positive actions, you will not tap the
POTENTIAL you have locked inside you. As a result, you will definitely
get lousy RESULTS. Getting that ‘D’ or ‘F’ will prove your belief to
be true. ‘I knew it! I’m no good at Math’. Once again, believing in
something makes it so!

So, if you are not good at something and want to change your RESULTS,
the first thing you must do is to change your BELIEFS.

Beliefs Trap Elephants… Do They Trap You?

Did you know that elephants
are the strongest land mammals
in the world? They are so
powerful that a male elephant
can lift a 500 kg tree log
with his trunk, and even
pull a tree down.

So how do elephant keepers
secure this super strong animal
from running away? All they do is use a rope or chain to tie the elephant's


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                      leg to a stake in the ground. The moment the elephant's leg is tied to the
                      stake, the elephant will not run away.

                      Do you think the elephant has the POTENTIAL to break the rope?
                      Of course, it has the strength to even pull a tree down! However, the
                      elephant does not attempt to break the rope and escape because it
                      believes it cannot do so.

                      Why? The reason is that when the elephant is young, its keepers put
                      him through a brainwashing program. They tie the leg of the baby elephant
                      to the stick in the ground. Because it is still a baby, it doesn't have the
                      strength to break the rope, no matter how hard it pulls.

                      After hours of tugging, it gets cuts and bruises on its leg. After hours of
                      frustration and the pain of 'trying', the elephant eventually gets to a point
                      when it gives up, and believes that it is impossible to break the rope.

                      Years later, even though the elephant has grown to become ten times
                      bigger and much stronger, it will not even attempt to pull the rope or chain
                      and escape to freedom. The elephant has been trapped by its own beliefs!

                      As strange as this sounds, the same thing happens to most people!
                      Many people have the potential to achieve the success they want.
                      However, their negative beliefs stop them from even attempting. Before
                      they do anything, their brain tells them: 'You can't do it!' 'You are sure
                      to fail!' So they don't even attempt to take any action. Most never realize
                      even one-third of their potential.

                      Were You Brainwashed with Lousy Beliefs too?

                                                                                          Maybe
                                                                                          when you
                                                                                          w e r e
                                                                                          young,
                                                           someone told you that you were not
                                                       good at drawing. Maybe you flunked a
                                                       spelling test in kindergarten. Maybe
                                                       your classmates laughed at you when you
                                                       gave the wrong answer in class. Maybe
                                                       relatives teased you about your shyness
                                                       or stammer. After some time, your brain
                      got filled with all these limiting beliefs: 'I cannot draw', 'I am shy'. 'I can't
                      speak properly' or 'I am bad at spelling'.

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So, what happens next? For the rest of your life, you may never dare
to pursue art, you may not dare to make new friends, or take the trouble
to learn how to spell correctly.

Pull & Break the Rope!
Know that like the strong elephant, you too have the potential to overcome
the limitations of the past and achieve whatever you want. You can become
a great artist. You can become a confident leader (trust me… I used to
be super shy myself). You can get along well with your parents - despite
terrible fights in the past.

Just because you did not do well in something at some point in time does
not mean that you cannot do it Now! Or tomorrow. Just as the elephant
became stronger as it grew older, you too will become better as you learn
new strategies and get new experiences.

So, the only thing that is holding you back from achieving your heart's
desire is your beliefs. What you must do is break away from those old,
useless beliefs, and go for it!

Breaking the 'Impossible' with New Beliefs

                        While limiting beliefs trap you, powerful beliefs
                        can make you do things that appear impossible to
                        many other people.

                        Let me share with you a personal experience about
                        the power of beliefs. When I was studying in the
                        National University of Singapore, I was inspired
                        to write a book that would teach ordinary students
                        to become 'A' students. As you know by now, that
                        book is 'I Am Gifted, So Are You!'

However, everyone whom I (a 22 year-old) spoke to about writing a
book responded with negative comments: 'Are you crazy? You can't
even write a good essay, how can you write a whole book', my friends
said. 'You don't even read many books, how can you write a book?',
my dad said.

Luckily, I knew that what all these people were saying to me came from
their own limiting beliefs, like the ropes or the chains trapping the elephant.

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                      So, without one single word of encouragement from anyone, I went ahead.
                      I had this strong belief that anyone can write a best-selling book if he/she
                      believes in himself/herself, has a great story to tell or great experiences
                      to share, and uses the right strategies.

                      Sure enough, after two years of hard work, 'I Am Gifted, So Are You!'
                      was published and it went on to become a national bestseller in 6
                      countries. Once my belief was proven right, I easily wrote nine more
                      books, including this one.

                      The interesting thing is that my achievement affected the beliefs
                      of my friends. They started to believe that writing a book is easy.
                      Now, several of my young friends have become best-selling authors
                      themselves.

                      Writing a Book At Age 10 is
                      Impossible? Not Anymore!
                      The most amazing example is a
                      student of mine who wrote a book at
                      the age of 10. After attending my 'I
                      Am Gifted!™ Junior Programme,
                      Dayna Tan told me that she had
                      written a book called 'I Read 329
                      Books at 9, So Can You!'. You can
                      read about her at www.daynatan.com.




                                                                    After Luke Skywalker fails
                                                                    to lift the X-Wing Fighter
                                                                    from the swamp using the
                                                                    force, Yoda shows him that
                                                                    it can be done. When Luke
                                                                    doesn't believe it, Yoda tells
                                                                    him that is the reason why
                                                                    he failed.




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Beliefs Are Never Absolutely True.
Beliefs Change When We Change.
I know that you may be thinking to yourself: ‘What if the negative beliefs
I have are true? What if I am stupid? What if I am a lazy person? What
if I am lousy at drawing? What if I am fat and ugly?’

What you must understand is that beliefs are never absolutely true! They
are just OPINIONS that people make, or GENERALIZATIONS made
based on PAST experiences. They may have been valid beliefs at one
time, but if you work hard at changing your beliefs, they will not hold
true for you anymore.

For example, if your drawing in the past used to attract comments such
as, 'You can’t draw, your cats don’t look realistic!', you may have
developed a belief that you cannot draw or paint well. Is this absolutely
true? Nope! The reason your drawing may have been lousy could be
that you did not know the right technique, or that you never
practiced enough. With training and practice, you could become
an accomplished artist.

Just because something happens a few times does not mean that it will
always happen. Maybe you were asked to give a speech in front of the
class, and you got so scared that you froze and forgot everything. If it
happened two to three times more, you may have developed the belief
that ‘I have stage fright and I will always freeze on stage’. Then you will
never dare to speak in public again.

You know what? That happened to me as well many times when I
was in school. But when I learned techniques of public speaking and
practiced enough, I became a professional speaker, on some occasions
addressing as many as 2,000-3,000 people at a time.

So, don’t ever accept limiting beliefs that other people impose on you!
Beliefs don’t remain the same. They change when you change!

What If They Had Believed What Others Said?

Did you know that some of the most successful and famous people in
the world today were once told that they could never make it? Thank
goodness they did not believe those ‘advisers’.



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                                         Arnold Schwarzenegger, one of the world's major
                                         movie superstars (e.g. Terminator) and the current
                                         governor of California, was told by agents and
                                         casting people that his body looked 'too weird,'
                                              that he had a funny accent, and that his
                                                   name was too long. He could never make
                                                    it as an actor.



                      Michael Jordan, the world's greatest basketball
                      player, was once expelled from his high school
                      varsity basketball team. He failed to make
                      the team because they thought he did not
                      play well enough!



                                         Elvis Presley, the King of Rock & Roll and one of
                                         the most famous performers of all time, was once
                                         called ‘a sad, shy, not especially attractive boy’ whose
                                         guitar playing was not likely to win any prizes. This
                                         was when Elvis was in high school.



                      Walt Disney, the creator of Mickey Mouse,
                      Disneyland and the Walt Disney Company was
                      once fired from his job because he was told
                      that he lacked creativity and imagination.



                                                    When Orville and Wilbur Wright
                                                    announced their goal to invent the first
                                                    airplane, scientists and notables told them
                                                    that their task was impossible. Lord Kelvin,
                                                    President of Royal Society, said: 'Heavier
                                                    than air flying machines are impossible'.


                                                   So, next time people tell you that you are
                      not good enough or you cannot do something, choose not to believe them.
                      Instead, choose to prove them wrong!

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Beliefs that Everyone Thought Were Absolutely True

Let me share with you some beliefs that everybody once thought were
true. After all, famous and successful people once said these words and
everyone believed them for years.

   “There is no likelihood that man will tap the power of the atom”
   - Robert Milliken, Nobel Prize Winner for Physics 1923

   “Everything that can be invented has been invented”
   - Charles H Duell, Director U.S. Patent office in 1899

   “Television won't be able to hold on to a captive audience after six months.
   People will soon get tired staring at a plywood box every night.”
   - Darryl F. Zanuck, Head of 20th Century Fox in 1946

   “The Earth is the centre of the universe.”
   - Ptolemy, Great Egyptian Astronomer 2nd Century

   “For the majority of people, the use of tobacco has a beneficial effect.”
   - Dr. Ian G. MacDonald, L.A. Surgeon Quoted in Newsweek 1969

   “Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances.”
   - Dr. Lee De Forest, Inventor of the Audion tube

   "Nobody will ever need more than 640k RAM in their computer!"
   - Bill Gates, Founder of Microsoft in 1981.

   “The horse is here to stay, but the automobile is only a novelty.”
   - President of Michigan Savings Bank advising Henry Ford not to invest


These beliefs may seem stupid and crazy today, but remember that for
decades many people believed them to be 100% true.




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                      Now, let me share with you a list of beliefs that many teens hold to be
                      true. Do you have some of these limiting beliefs yourself?


                                                                    arner”
                                                  “ I am a slow le e”
                                                                      m
                                                     “ Nobody likes
                                               “ People ca   nnot be trusted”
                                                                waste of time”
                                              “ Studying is a          ng”
                                                     “ School is bori
                                                   “ Studying is  for nerds”          ents
                                                                      ood school stud
                                    “ It's difficult for neighbourh
                                                                   or colleges”
                                                 to enter top juni t to get me”
                                                               are ou                   reasonable”
                                              “ My teachers              They are so un
                                            t along w   ith my parents.       ty, so how can
                                                                                                I?”
                          “ I can never ge y family has gone to universi                    sful”
                              “ Nobody in m                                    r be succes
                                                              ily so I can neve better grades”
                                “ I come fr  om a poor fam              ways get
                                                      p schools will al                 l students”
                                “ Students from to more hardworking than loca
                                                ents are
                              “ Foreign stud

                      The scary thing is that if you believe them, they will become true for you.
                      When we don't believe them, they disappear. Why is this so? Well, when
                      you believe something to be true, your brain will always find a way to
                      prove it right.

                      For example, if you believe that you and your parents can never get along,
                      you are going to keep focusing on all the times you argue with one another.
                      You will probably start avoiding and ignoring them. This behaviour will
                      drive them even crazier, and make them even more unreasonable.

                      However, if you believe that your parents are actually good people who
                      have your interests at heart, then you are going to focus on all the sacrifices
                      they have made for you. You will start appreciating that they worry about
                      your future, buy you stuff, pay for your courses or tuition, fetch you to
                      places, and make you dinner.

                      When you start listening and opening up to them, you will find that they
                      will listen to you and become reasonable parents. It's like magic!




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What Limiting Beliefs Are Stopping You?

So, I want you to take some time right now and write down all the negative
and limiting beliefs you have. What negative beliefs do you have about
school, about your siblings, about friends, classmates, teachers and even
about yourself?

Go ahead and do this exercise now.




Breaking Away From Old Beliefs
So, if you have a whole bunch of lousy beliefs that have been making you
feel bad and holding you back, how can you break them?

The way to break a limiting belief is to find reasons why it is not true.
For example, say you believe that you have a bad memory. If you think
hard, can you find many reasons why this is not true? I am sure you can.

You may discover that you can actually remember in sequence all 250
words of your favourite song. You may realize that you can remember
the names and statistics of all the soccer players in the EPL (English
Premier League), if you happen to be a soccer fan. You may also realize
that you can remember all the moves and sequences in the computer
games you play.

When my friends tell me that they have a bad memory, I ask them:
'How come you can remember that you have a bad memory?' That usually
blows their mind.

Once you find enough exceptions, the old belief no longer has any
power. By the way, in chapter 11 you are going to learn that all of us
actually have a powerful memory, we just need to learn the right
strategies to activate it.

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                      Once you break away from the old belief, the next step is to create a new
                      powerful belief that will unlock your potential for success.

                      For example, if your old belief was 'I have a bad memory', then your
                      new belief could be 'I have an excellent memory'. The next thing to do
                      would be to find ways to prove your new belief to be true. By using
                      new strategies and taking lots of positive action, your new belief will
                      become even stronger.

                      Programming Your Mind With New Beliefs

                      What if you cannot find any proof for your new beliefs? Then imagine some!

                      When you imagine strongly enough that something is true, your brain
                      actually begins to believe it.

                      How come this works? Well, research has shown that the human mind
                      cannot tell the difference between what is real and what is clearly imagined.

                      When you imagine something vividly enough, your brain will send the
                      same signals to your body to create the real physical response.

                      Let's see if this works. I want you to read the following instructions and
                      then close your eyes, follow them exactly and see what happens.

                      Here are the instructions.

                      Close your eyes. Imagine that you are in your kitchen. Slowly walk to
                      your refrigerator and open the door. See a big, yellow sour lemon in the
                      fridge. Take the lemon in your hand and imagine what it feels like to hold
                      it. Notice the texture and coldness of the lemon. Scratch the skin of the
                      lemon, bring it to your nose and smell its sour fragrance.

                      Bring the lemon to the tabletop where you
                      have a knife. Imagine cutting a piece of the
                      lemon, and see all the sour lemon juice oozing
                      out. Now, take that piece of lemon and
                      squeeze all of its juice in your mouth and
                      taste the sourness!

                      I'm sure that imaging this entire thing in your
                      mind, or just reading it, is making your mouth secrete
                      more saliva, right? It may even have made you screw up

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your face. Even though the lemon was only a part of your imagination,
it created a real physical feeling in your mouth, making it water!

So, how can you use this technique to help you? If you just simply
close your eyes and imagine yourself feeling very confident and
achieving a task easily, you will actually begin to feel confident and
perform it better.

                    Secret Weapon At The Olympics

                     The power of visualization has been used by top
                        athletes for centuries to achieve top performance
                                   in competitions. For many years, the
                                   Americans could not understand how
                                   the Russians got top scores for their
                       performances in gymnastics. Although they trained
just as hard, the American gymnasts were not able to execute the twists
and turns as perfectly as their Russian competitors.

After the cold war ended, the Americans finally discovered the Russian's
secret. Besides physical training, which was what the Americans went
through, the Russians used the power of visualization. By imagining
themselves performing the gymnastic routines perfectly over and over
again, they programmed themselves for success.

Today, all the top athletes, e.g. Tiger Woods, Michael Phelps, Kobe
Bryant, use the power of visualization to train their minds to win.

Training Your Brain for Success Using Visualization

You don't have to be a professional athlete to use the power of visualization.
You can use it in many areas of your life right now.

As I shared with you before, I used to be really lousy at speaking to a
group of people. The moment people looked at me, my hands would turn
cold, butterflies would fly around in my stomach, and my legs would
tremble. My mind had the lousy beliefs that 'I am shy', 'People will not
like what I say' and 'I have stage fright'.

So how did I get from a super-shy, zero-confident person to the super
confident, powerful speaker I am today? I used visualization to program
my beliefs. Before I started to speak in front of a crowd, I would close
my eyes and imagine myself making the speech. I would see myself

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                      speaking and feeling confident. I would
                      then imagine people clapping and
                      congratulating me when I finished.

                      I would imagine this many times, until
                      it seemed so real that my
                      mind actually believed it. So,
                      even though I was making that
                      particular speech for the very
                      first time, it was as if I had done
                      it a dozen times before.

                      How else can you use the power of visualization? Well, before going for
                      a sports event, imagine yourself performing well and winning. Do this
                      many times, until you really feel the confidence surging through you and
                      giving you the power you need to win.

                      You can even use visualization to make a good impression on a girl or
                      guy you like. If you feel really nervous talking to someone of the opposite
                      sex (especially someone who is really cute), imagine yourself going up
                      to the person and feeling really relaxed! Imagine the words you would
                      use as an opening greeting, imagine how the conversation would go. The
                      more vividly you can imagine a scenario, the higher the chance it will
                      come true.

                      Finally, you can even imagine yourself feeling confident and relaxed as
                      you take your final examinations. Of course, you must first study hard
                      in order to be able to answer the questions or write the essays!

                      The Beliefs of Winners

                      Do you think winners have very different beliefs from losers? Of course!
                      Losers choose to have beliefs that stop them from doing anything. Winners
                      have beliefs that bring out the best in them.

                      Here is a list of beliefs you can choose to have that will bring out the
                      winner in you!

                               Winner's Belief #1:
                               If Others Can Do It, So Can I!

                      Winners believe that if someone can achieve something, then so can they.
                      When Barack Obama was a teenager studying in Indonesia, he wrote an

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essay about one day becoming the President of the United States. Everyone
told him that it was an impossible dream. All the US Presidents had been
white men, whereas he was a black man.

In fact, just before he ran for the Presidential race in 2007, many
people said that he would not win as no one would vote for a man with
an Arab-sounding name, Barack Hussein Obama. What seemed even
worse, the name is linked to the two most notorious men in the world:
Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Ladin.

However, Obama thought as a winner does and acted as a cool, but never
arrogant leader…all the way to the White House. Sure enough, he made
history by becoming America's first black President.

       Winner's Belief #2:
       With Enough Determination, There is Always A Way

When things get tough and challenging, losers say: 'There is no way!'
Winners believe that no matter how hopeless things may get, with enough
determination there is always a way to achieve their goals.

Remember the story I shared about Nick Vujicic, the man who was born
with no arms and legs? Everyone thought that he could never live a normal
life. But because he was so determined, he found a way to live not just
a normal life, but an extraordinary life, achieving success in school, in
sports and in his career.

       Winner's Belief #3:
       There are No Failures, Only Learning Experiences

Winners fail more times than ordinary
people do because they dare to set
more goals and take much more action.
However, what makes them succeed
is that each time they 'fail', they take
the ‘failure’ as a learning experience.

They don't feel lousy and they don't
give up. They keep learning from their
mistakes until they succeed. When
Thomas Edison 'failed' over 9,900 times
in his attempt to invent the light bulb,
people asked him: 'How could you fail so
many times and not give up?'

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                      He said, 'I did not fail 9,900 times. I found 9,900 ways of how not to
                      invent the light bulb'.

                               Winner's Belief #4:
                               The Past Does Not Equal the Future.

                      Winners believe that their past does not equal their future. Just because
                      they had no confidence in the past does not mean that they will have no
                      confidence in the future. Just because they were not able to achieve
                      something in the past does not mean they cannot achieve it in the future.

                      Winners know that the future depends on what they do right now, in the
                      present! Every moment is a brand new opportunity to make a better future.

                      So, forget about all your past failures, defeats and old beliefs. Start
                      believing in yourself and making the right choices today, and you will
                      get the success you set your heart on in the future.

                               Winner's Belief #5:
                               For Things to Change, I Must Change First

                      Winners believe that for things to change, they must change first.
                      When you change yourself, your results will change. When you change
                      the way you think and behave, your parents, friends and teachers will
                      all change accordingly.

                      When I started changing by coming home on time, finishing my
                      homework early, and tidying up my room before being told to clean up
                      by an irritated dad, my dad changed his attitude towards me and started
                      becoming more trusting and positive.

                      When I started changing my attitude and behaviour in the classroom,
                      my teacher also changed the way she treated me. When I started paying
                      attention in class, asking questions and improving my grades, my
                      teacher, instead of treating me indifferently and reprimanding me
                      when I misbehaved (e.g. distracting my classmates), actually started
                      praising and encouraging me. Isn't that powerful?

                      Now that you have discovered the power of your beliefs, its time to learn…




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CHAPTER   FOUR
MUST I LOVE MYSELF?
  CHAPTER
 FOUR
               Must I Love Myself?
I'm sure that there are lots of things that you really love. You may love
your parents, your friends and your favourite movie stars. You may love
rock music, your mobile phone and chocolate ice cream.

But let me ask you a question
that may seem really weird: Do
you love yourself? Do you love
that person you see in the mirror
every day? Think about it and
rate how much you love yourself
by checking one of the boxes.

❏ I hate who I am. I wish I were
  someone else.
❏ I don't like myself at times.
❏ I am okay with who I am
❏ I don't really care about myself.
❏ I love myself. I am proud of who I am.

If you find that you love yourself, then that's great! If you don't like
yourself very much, don't worry. It's pretty normal.

Would you be surprised if I told you that more than 90% of teens don't
like the way they look? They don't like their faces and their bodies. They
also think that they are not good enough, or not smart enough. Are you
one of them?

Why Must I Love Myself?

So, if so many teens don't love themselves, then what's the big deal?

Well, here's the TRUTH: in order to be HAPPY and SUCCESSFUL,
you have to start by loving yourself. The reason why most teens feel
lousy about themselves, and fail to be popular, confident and loved,
is that they don't like who they are.

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                        Many people think that they must first become successful before they
                        start loving themselves and their life. In fact, the opposite is true. You
                        must first love yourself before you can become successful. People who
                        love and feel good about themselves have what is called HIGH
                        SELF-ESTEEM.

                        The Most Important Person In Your Life Is…

                        Let me give you the most important reason why you should love yourself.

                        Imagine that there is someone whom you have to spend the rest of
                        your life with. You have to spend every minute of every day with this
                        person, day in and day out. This person
                        is the first one you see when you wake
                        up in the morning, and the last
                        person you see when you go
                        to sleep.

                        This person is there on all your
                        life's special occasions. This
                        person is there during all of your
                        life's ups and downs. When you
                        are down, only this person can
                        cheer you up.

                        When you fall, only this person can pick you up. When you set a goal,
                        only this person can give you the motivation and confidence to achieve
                        it. This person will never leave you, and is the only one you can truly
                        depend on.

                        If you didn't like this person, wouldn't your life be absolutely miserable?
                        You'd be forever stuck with a person you didn't like. You wouldn't be
                        able to do anything! I am sure you can guess that this person is YOU!

                        YOU are the most important person in your own life.

                        The Power of Loving Yourself
                        When you really love someone, you always want the very best for him
                        or her, right? You would do anything for the people you love. You would
                        make sacrifices for them, and defend them if anyone spoke badly of them.

                        The same thing goes when you love yourself.

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When you love yourself, you will want the very best for yourself. You
will aim to get the best grades, enter the best schools, and achieve whatever
you set out to do. In other words, teens who love themselves dream big
and set high standards for themselves.

At the same time, you will be willing to work hard and make sacrifices
for yourself. Teens who love themselves will take good care of their body
and their mind.

They are willing to sacrifice short-term pleasures for future benefits. They
will study hard, exercise regularly, avoid distractions (such as watching
too much TV and gaming) and say no to drugs and cigarettes.

When You Like Yourself, Other People Will Start to
Like You As Well
When I talk about loving yourself,
I am not talking about being an
arrogant, egotistical braggart who
looks at himself every
ten minutes and
boastfully says: “I am
the greatest.” Nobody
likes a show-off!

In fact, people who
genuinely love themselves
never boast or show off! They don’t need
to. They already feel good about themselves... inside.

When you like yourself, you will feel good about yourself. You will
have the confidence to take on challenges, make friends and be
                                         outgoing. You will smile a
                                         lot and talk positively about
                                         yourself and others.

                                              Teens who feel good about
                                              themselves see the good
                                              in others, and give them
                                              sincere encouragement and
                                              praise. Having a confident
                                              and positive attitude will
                                              make you really charming

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                        and attractive to others. People will start to admire and respect you.
                        People love being around positive people because it makes them feel
                        good as well.

                        I remember when I was back in school, there was a girl called Vicky.
                        Vicky was one of the most popular students in my school. Other girls
                        admired her, and many guys had a crush on her. The funny thing was that
                        Vicky was not really that pretty. She was a bit short and plump, and on
                        top of it, she wore braces.

                        And yet, guys were mesmerized by her! They fell for her beautiful smile
                        and for the way she talked and walked, with lots of confidence. Most
                        importantly, Vicky was always there to help others and to encourage
                        friends who were down. Where did all her confidence come from? It came
                        from inside herself! It came because she learned to love herself first…so
                        she had loads of love to give to others.

                        People Who Like Themselves Have the Confidence to Think
                        for Themselves, and to Think Differently
                        Do you feel pressured to do certain things because everyone seems to
                        be doing them? If you are asked to so something you know isn't right,
                        will you do it just to be accepted and liked by your friends?

                        When you love yourself, it is easier to think for yourself and say,
                        'NO!' when you know something isn't right. When you don't like yourself,
                        you will find yourself easily influenced by others in order to gain
                        their approval.

                        When I was secondary one (at age 13), I still had pretty low self-esteem.
                        I didn't like myself, and I badly wanted other people, especially my
                        peers, to like me. When I saw all my friends smoking and they
                        offered me a cigarette, I did not dare to say no. I was really afraid of being
                        rejected and seen as a 'chicken'. So I started smoking, even though I
                        knew it wasn't right.

                        It was later, when I was 16, that I realized that if I just followed others
                        in order to be well liked, I was nothing more than a brainless sheep.
                        When I learned to love myself and feel good about who I was, I
                        learned to say, 'No!'




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When You Love Yourself, Other People's Criticism
Doesn't Affect You Much At All.
If someone calls you 'STUPID' or 'FATTY', will you feel really upset, or
will you laugh at them instead? Again, it all depends on how much you
love and believe in yourself.

Teens with low self-esteem tend to be super sensitive to criticism and
take every casual remark as an insult. They get upset easily, and readily
throw back insults or start picking fights.

When you learn to love yourself, you believe in yourself and don't
really care about what others say. Instead of feeling bad or feeling
angry that you have been insulted, you will laugh at them for saying
something so stupid, and you will be motivated to work even harder,
to prove them wrong!

                            A great example of someone who loves
                           himself is William Hung, who auditioned in
                          the third season of American Idol. William
                                    was a nerdy-looking, buck-toothed
                                     Chinese, who performed Ricky
                                     Martin's 'She Bangs' in front of
                                 millions of viewers around the world
                                 (you can watch it on Youtube.com).

His off-key voice and stiff dance moves caused everyone watching him
to burst out laughing. As expected, judge Simon Cowell made a stinging
remark that went like this: 'You can't sing, you can't dance, so what do
you want me to say?'

Instead of feeling angry and resentful, William confidently said: 'I
already gave my best, and I have no regrets at all'. So many viewers
were so inspired by his positive attitude, that they started a fan website
for him, which reached four million hits within its first week. He
immediately shot to worldwide fame.

What was amazing was that he was later offered US$25,000 in advance
for a record deal, and subsequently produced three albums that outsold
one of the winners of American Idol. He even starred in four TV shows
and a movie that made him hundreds of thousands of dollars. Even when
the whole world was laughing at his lousy singing and dancing, he didn't
care! He kept on performing, and now he is the one laughing all the way
to the bank.

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                        You can see that even if you have no looks or no talent, you can achieve
                        worldwide success and gain the respect and admiration of others, if only
                        you love yourself.

                        If You Don't Like Yourself, You Will Remain Unhappy & Unsuccessful
                        Sad but true, people who hate themselves tend to remain unhappy and
                        unsuccessful. When you don't like yourself, you tend to put yourself down,
                        think negatively of everyone else, including yourself, and also set low
                        personal standards.

                        Back in secondary school, I remember asking one of my friends, Stan,
                        which University he was aiming to go to. He said: “I don't want to go to
                        university.” I said, “With a university degree, you can get the opportunity
                        for greater success, respect, and more money.” He shrugged and said,
                        “Who cares?”

                        At the time, I couldn't understand why Stan did not care about his
                        own future. Later I realized it was because Stan did not like himself
                        very much. In his mind, he did not think he deserved a great life. He
                        believed that only other people, who were better than he was, deserved
                        a successful life.

                        So with such low self-esteem, Stan did not dare challenge himself in any
                        way. When our teacher asked a question, he would never raise his hands.
                        When the teacher went around checking our work, Stan would quickly
                        cover his notes as she walked pass. He would not try or volunteer for
                        anything. Even though he had a great talent for singing, he never participated
                        in the school's talent contest.

                        Basically, Stan had such a poor opinion of himself, that he was afraid of
                        drawing attention to himself by asking questions or competing in a talent
                        quest. He was afraid of making mistakes and being embarrassed. Because
                        of this, Stan never took any action and never realized any of his potential.
                        Sure enough, today Stan is in a low-pay job, feeling as miserable as ever.
                        Don't end up like Stan.




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People Who Hate Themselves Aren't Too Nice To Be Around

People who don't like themselves don't
just treat themselves badly. They treat
other people badly as well. They can
sometimes be really irritating.

There is one of three things that teens with
low self-esteem do: a) criticize and bully others,
b) criticize themselves, or c) show off.

a) Criticize others

Teens who don't like themselves like to
constantly criticize, insult and put other people down. They like to make
fun of other people and call them names.

They figure that if they cannot feel good about themselves, then they
will make other people feel miserable too. This way, they can feel better
about themselves. If you have ever watched the show 'Southpark', you
will recall a kid called Eric Cartman, who was exactly like that.

One of my friends, Mark, used to call people names such as 'fat
ass,' 'bird brain,' 'retarded toad,' and 'fart face.' Whenever someone
made a mistake, he would announce it to the whole class. Everyone
disliked him.

Why did he do that? Well, I found out later that Mark felt inferior
because he had a single parent, and he was also self-conscious about
his height (he was short). So, his strategy of making himself feel better
was to make others feel bad.

So, the next time you
meet people like that,
don't be angry with them. Instead,
feel sorry for them!

b) Criticize Themselves

Have you ever met people who
keep taking negatively about
themselves? They may say things
such as, 'Nobody likes me. I'm


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                        not as smart as you are. You are more beautiful/ handsome than I am.
                        I am sure to fail!'

                        They say these things hoping that you will say, “No! You are smart! You
                        can succeed.” They do this to get reassurance from others. After a while,
                        they can get pretty annoying, can't they?

                                                         c) Showing Off

                                                         At first, people who show off and brag
                                                         about how great they are may seem to
                                                         have a lot of self-confidence.

                                                         However, deep inside they don’t like
                                                         themselves and feel inadequate. So, they
                                                         need to show off their games, mobile
                                                         phones, money and branded clothes to
                                                         make themselves feel good.

                        Teens who genuinely love themselves never need to show off. They
                        just do their best, feel proud of themselves, and know that their greatness
                        and goodness will shine through.

                        If You Don’t Like Yourself, No One Will Respect You
                        Do you want other people to respect you, to admire you and to like you?
                        I’m sure you do. Everyone does.

                        Here’s a tip: respect, admire and like yourself
                        first. When you respect yourself, others will
                        respect you. We teach people how to treat us by
                        the way we treat ourselves.

                        David was a teen in my school who dressed
                        like a slob. He didn’t comb his hair, his shirt was
                        always untidily hanging out, and there were stains all
                        over his clothes. Every time he spoke, he peppered
                        his words with lots of vulgarities. He didn’t care about
                        doing his work, and slouched into class late most of
                        the time. It was obvious that David did not
                        care about his appearance and did not
                        respect himself.

                        So, what happened? Well, nobody respected him


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either. Our classmates pushed him around, called him names and
looked down on him. Even some teachers constantly found fault with
everything he did. David kept blaming the world for being mean to
him, although it was him who did not first respect himself.


       WARNING: HATING YOURSELF CAN BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH!
          People who hate themselves often abuse themselves
           physically. They may slash themselves, take drugs,
        binge drink alcohol, and may eventually kill themselves,
                       accidentally or deliberately.



Let’s recap what happens to teens who have low self-esteem, as compared
to teens who have high self-esteem.


   Teens Who Like Themselves             Teens Who Don’t Like Themselves
   Set high standards for themselves     Set low standards
   Dare to participate and make mistakes Keep to themselves and fear to
                                         ‘try’ anything
   Encourage others                      Criticize and put others down
   Take care of themselves               Abuse themselves
   Do their best and are proud of        Criticize themselves or show off
   themselves
   Attract others who respect            Put people off and lose the respect
   and like them                         of others



How Can I Love Myself? I Have So Many Faults!

Many teens come up to me and say: “I wish I could
love myself, but how can I? I have so many faults
and flaws. I'm too fat. I am not smart enough. I
procrastinate. I have pimples. I'm too short. My
teeth are crooked. My dad says I'm too lazy. My
friends call me a nerd. I keep making my mum
angry. I never seem to do anything well enough.
I am always being compared to my brothers and
sisters, who seem to be better/smarter than I am.”

Again, if you feel that you have a lot more faults than

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                        strengths, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I felt exactly the same way, and so
                        do most teens.

                        I used to think that only really rich, smart, good-looking, talented
                        and faultless guys and girls loved themselves. You know what? It's
                        not true!

                        People Love Themselves When They Accept Who They Are
                        and Focus On Their Strengths
                        People who like themselves are NOT necessarily the ones who are born
                        lucky, with many more obvious or apparent strengths than weaknesses.
                        In fact, some of the most famous and successful people had more
                        weaknesses than strengths when they were young.

                        However, they learned to love themselves because they chose to ACCEPT
                        who they were, and FOCUS on their STRENGTHS!

                        Do You Know…The Happiest & Most Successful People
                        Have More Shortcomings Than You?
                        Let me share with you the story of a little girl named Gail. In the
                        1950s, Gail was born to unwed black teenage parents, and was raised by
                        her grandmother.

                        Her future seemed totally bleak. She was poor. She was black (black girls
                        were not encouraged to go to school back then) and she was an illegitimate
                        child. To make things worse, she was raped by a cousin at age nine, and
                        molested by an uncle. Depressed and angry, she got into trouble with
                        the law, and gained lots of weight.

                        If you were Gail, would you find it easy to love who you were? Nobody
                        would blame her if she hated herself and wanted to be somebody
                        better. Fortunately, Gail learned to accept herself and
                        started to focus on her strengths: she was good at
                        reading, she loved to talk, she cared for other
                        people, and she was ambitious!

                        By loving herself, Gail gained the confidence
                        to set high goals and to take action. She aimed
                        to be rich and famous and began to work hard
                        for herself. Today, Oprah Gail Winfrey has a prime-


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time world-famous talk show called The Oprah Winfrey Show, and
she is one of the richest (worth US$2.7 billion), most famous and
successful women in the world.

So, no matter what weaknesses you may have, you CAN overcome them
by first loving yourself. Accept who you are and focus on your strengths.

Some Are Born With Everything, Yet End Up With Nothing!

Never envy people who may seem to be luckier than you.

Do you think that teens who have rich daddies, good looks, great bodies
and talent definitely love themselves? Not at all!

There are many people I know who appear to be so lucky, endowed with
so many great traits, but they don't like themselves at all. One of these
girls, Yvonne, was very good looking and had an amazing body. You
could also tell that she was really intelligent, as she could learn really fast
if she put in the effort.

Unfortunately, she did not like herself. Even though she looked super
cool and confident on the outside, she felt inadequate on the inside. She
kept focusing on every little flaw she had. Secretly, she thought she was
not popular enough, not pretty enough, and not tall enough.

Her low self-esteem caused her to be influenced by bad company and
she started smoking and using vulgarities. She slacked in school and
showed an attitude to people who were around her. Although she was
good looking, not many people liked her.

What Do Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan Have in Common?
Do you know what Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Amy Winehouse
and George Michael have in common?

They are all super stars, rich, famous, good looking, and yet they don't
like themselves. In their insecurities, they turned to alcohol and drugs
and ruined their lives and careers.

How can this be? How can they have such great strengths, and yet
hate themselves? How can Nick and Oprah, who were born with huge
disadvantages, learn to love themselves and rise above and well beyond
their early circumstances?

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                        So, you see, it is you and not your circumstances that determines your
                        self-esteem. You can choose to hate yourself, or love yourself. No matter
                        how many strengths you have, you can always find faults to focus on, if
                        you choose to do so.

                        At the same time, no matter how many flaws you have, you can always
                        find strengths to focus on and feel good about yourself. So, why not
                        choose the latter?

                        Five Ways to Boost Your Self Esteem
                        Here are five things you can do to feel good about yourself:

                        1) Accept Who You Are

                        Before you can love yourself, you have to first accept
                        who you are. Accept your race. Accept your body and
                        the way you look. Accept your unique character.
                        Accept your family background and accept your
                        strengths, as well as your weaknesses. Don't wish
                        you were perfect. Nobody is perfect.

                        Aim instead for excellence, which is doing
                        the very best with what God has given you.
                        If you have made mistakes in the past, know that
                        we all make mistakes. Instead of hating yourself
                        for that, forgive yourself and learn from those
                        mistakes to become better today.

                                                       Did you know that out of the billions
                                                       of snowflakes that fall on earth, no two
                                                       are ever identical? Similarly, out of the
                                                        billions of people born, nobody will
                                                        ever be exactly the way you are (not
                                                         even twins are exactly alike). You are
                                                         specially designed by God with a
                                      unique set of interests, strengths and weaknesses to be
                        successful in your very own way.

                        I believe that our creator does not make mistakes. If God gave you certain
                        strengths, it is because he wants you to make full use of them to help
                        yourself and others. If he gave you a certain weakness, it is because he
                        wants you to challenge yourself to become a stronger person. He wants
                        you to learn how to turn those weaknesses into strengths.

              Myself?
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Must I Love
By learning to overcome her family abuse, Oprah learned to become
a stronger and more compassionate person. By overcoming his lack
of limbs, Nick turned his disability into a way of inspiring other people.
So, don't hate your weaknesses, turn them into strengths!

2) Accept Compliments and Give Compliments

Whenever someone pays
you a sincere compliment
such as, 'good job!', or
'you are good at drawing',
accept it by saying, 'thank
you.' People who reject
compliments by saying,
'I was just lucky', 'no lah',
or 'it was no big deal' will
never love themselves.


3) Focus on Your Strengths

Remember that the more you focus on your strengths, the better you will
get. One of the things you can do is to praise yourself and acknowledge
your strengths by writing them down in a success journal.

Here is what you can do: get a blank notebook and make it your 'Success
Journal'. Write down all the strengths you have and all the achievements
you have accomplished in your life (no matter how small). Every time
anyone says something nice about you, record it down.

Trust me, once you have done this, you will feel great. Then, once a year,
fill out this success journal with all the things you have accomplished in
the past year.

Let me give you an example of what your Success Journal may look




                                                                    71      SECRETS
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                                               s Journal
                                Davey’s Succes
                                                            swim
                                Age 1-5   Learned how to t obedient in class
                                           Got award fo r mos
                                                           mpetition
                                           Won a baby co                  nging competi
                                                                                        tion
                                                e in seco nd in school si
                                 Age 6-9 Cam at making friends
                                           Good
                                                             ical fitness test
                                            Passed my phys a great friend
                                                             am
                                            Stan said that I
                                                 ointed clas s monitor              ork
                                  Age 10-11 App d my brother with his homew
                                             Helpe                             lish
                                                             in class for Eng utes
                                             Got top marks                 8 min
                                                                meters in
                                             Able to swim 50 at I have lots of potential
                                                               th
                                             My teacher said


                        Every time you feel down, you can cheer yourself up by reading that
                        success journal. It really makes a difference! So what are you waiting
                        for? Grab a notepad right now and start filling out your success journal.
                        In fact, do it RIGHT NOW, before reading on.

                        4) Be Honest With Yourself

                        Have you done your Success Journal yet? If you haven't, STOP READING
                        and go do it now. If you have, read on.

                        Think about this. If you had a friend who kept breaking his/her promise
                        to you, how would you feel? I am sure that after a while, you would
                        not trust that friend anymore. You would not believe him/her and
                        may even hate that person. What if your friend kept lying to you? Again,
                        you would never trust that friend again, right?

                        Well, the same thing applies when it comes to the way you treat
                        YOURSELF. When you make promises to yourself and break them,
                        you will start to lose the trust and belief you have in yourself.

                        So, stop breaking promises to yourself. Stop telling yourself you will
                        cease gaming so much, and then go on to break that promise. Stop saying
                        you will study, and at the last minute break your promise to yourself.




              Myself?
                           72
Must I Love
To love yourself, start being honest and keeping your promises. Make
new promises to yourself and keep them, no matter what! Start doing this
now, and I promise you that your belief in yourself will grow.

Write down at least three new promises to yourself that you will keep.
(Tip: you could promise yourself to finish reading this book and act on
all the tips and strategies given in these pages).

I Promise That I Will…

1)   _________________________________________________________________________________________


2)   _________________________________________________________________________________________


3)   _________________________________________________________________________________________


4)   _________________________________________________________________________________________


5)   _________________________________________________________________________________________



5) Be Grateful For What You Have

Finally, love yourself by being grateful for what
you have and who you are.

Many teens are never happy
with themselves because they
always think that there is
someone luckier than they
are. What they do not realize
is that for every person luckier
than they are, there are more than
100 who are less fortunate. Let’s
see how lucky you really are...

Imagine that 24 hours before you were born, God gave you a bowl of
100 tickets. You had to draw one ticket that would determine your sex,
country of birth, wealth, intelligence etc... What would have been your
chance of ending up where you are now?




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                        Let’s look at the odds. If you were to take the entire earth’s population
                        and shrink it to 100 people (represented by 100 tickets), with all existing
                        human ratios the same, the situation would be the following:


                            •   49 would be female, 51 would be male.
                            •   80 would live in substandard housing, 20 in acceptable housing.
                            •   67 would be unable to read, 33 would be literate.
                            •   1 would have a university education, 99 would not be able to
                                attend university.
                            •   50 would not have enough to eat, and 1 would be dying of starvation.
                            •   33 would be without access to safe water supply.
                            •   Only 16 out of 100 would have access to Internet.
                            •   17 would live in a developed country; 83 would live in
                                underdeveloped/developing countries
                            •   Only 12 would have extra money in the bank.


                        So, if you were given the chance to turn back time and go back to
                        24 hours before you were born, would you choose to return your
                        current ticket and re-draw a new ticket from the 100? If not, count
                        your blessings and be grateful for what you have. When you do so,
                        you will love yourself and your life.




              Myself?
                           74
Must I Love
CHAPTER   FIVE
SCHOOL… IS IT
REALLY IMPORTANT?
  CHAPTER
  FIVE         School…
               Is It Really Important?
If you are a teenager, then school probably makes up a big part of your
life. Most students spend most of their days in school, up to eight hours
a day, or even more if they are involved in various extra-activities.

Also, we spend about one-third of our life in school before going out into
the working world.

Now that your parents and teachers are not around, it’s just you and me,
tell me honestly: is school really important? Whenever I pose this question
to students in my courses, some will say 'Yes', and some will say 'No'.

Is School Really Important…It All Depends!

So, is doing well in school important? Well, I believe it all DEPENDS.
It depends on what you want to do in the future.

Many teens feel that studying is a waste of
time because they have got no idea why and
what they are studying for. They go to school
because they feel they have no choice, and
study because they want to avoid being nagged
at by their parents.

If you do not know why you are studying,
and have got no clue as to what you want to
do with your future, then studying will definitely
seem pretty useless and boring.

So, what kind of life do you
want to have in the future?

Some people choose to have
a very boring and mediocre
life. They may be content being
just a road sweeper/garbage collector,

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                       toilet attendant, driver, or office boy. They have no desire to live in a
                       grand house, or even own a swank car. They don't really care about being
                       materially successful, or heading up a corporation.

                       Well, if this is how you want to live in the future, then school is definitely
                       not very important at all. It does not matter if you get good grades or
                       you fail. You can go grab a broom and start being a sweeper right away!
                       You are already fully qualified to be a waiter.

                       If You Want to Become Someone Important,
                       Then School Becomes Important
                       On the other hand, you may desire to become someone important
                       in your community, or even on the global stage. You may want to
                       live a life where you make a big impact as a businessperson, boss of a
                       big company, doctor, scientist, airline pilot, lawyer, minister, or
                       professional athlete.

                       You may want to earn enough money to enjoy the good life, live in a
                       beautiful house, and vacation all over the world. Well, if you choose this
                       kind of life, then school and studying become REALLY IMPORTANT.

                       Why? The reason is that you cannot have this kind of success in
                                                                 society without gaining
                                                                 the kind of knowledge
                                                      that only school can give you. Can
                                                        you imagine becoming a doctor
                                                         without knowing much about
                                                         Biology, Math or Chemistry?
                                                       You would not be know what
                                                        medicine to give your patient,
                                                              or how to perform an
                                                               operation. The patient
                                                                  would probably die
                                                                  under your care.

                       Or imagine being the pilot of a jumbo jet. If you had little knowledge of
                       Physics and Mathematics, you would not be able to calculate important
                       variables such as speed and altitude. You would not be able to read and
                       operate the controls. Also you had better know your geography - so you
                       can navigate - and have good communication skills - preferably in more
                       than one language - so you can talk to airport controllers wherever
                       you are flying.

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                portant?
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Why Must I Learn Stuff I Am Never Going to Use?
Most people agree that they have to acquire knowledge in order to
perform a certain specialized job, requiring special skills. For example,
if you are going to be a pilot, then you must first learn how to fly a plane.

But why do we have to learn stuff in school that we are never going
to use? Most teens wonder, 'If I want to be a businessman, then why do
I need to learn Chemistry? If I want to be a professional soccer player,
why on earth must I study Math?'

When I was a teenager, I could never figure out the answer to this question.
I wanted to become a millionaire businessman, so I thought that many
subjects were useless. As a result, I had no interest in studying History,
Literature, Chinese and Biology. Do you feel the same way?

Surprise! All These Subjects Actually Help You

Now that I have graduated and have gone on to work, I can tell you that,
surprisingly, all those 'useless' subjects are actually really important in
whatever you do. BUT not in the way you think they could be important.

First, let me shock you by saying that you are never going to use 90% of
the INFORMATION you are learning in school today. In fact, you are
probably going to forget 90% of what you learn anyway. If you ask your
mum or dad, I bet they can't remember all those Math formulas, historical
events, or weird Chemistry equations. And yet, they can be successful in
their careers.

When you study a subject, it is not necessarily the CONTENT that is the
most important. What is most important is the way your brain trains to
think in the PROCESS of studying the subject. In other words, it sharpens
your mind and makes you think faster and comprehend better.

For example, when you study Physics, theories, calculations and formulas
such as 'Work Done = Force x Distance', 'E = MC2', 'Newton's Laws of
Motion', 'calculate acceleration due to gravity…' may be important for
the exam, but you will not really need all this content in the future.

However, by studying physics, you train your brain to:
• Think logically
• Solve problems
• Remember better

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                       •   Understand and analyze complicated facts
                       •   Select and organize information, and so on…

                       At the same time, preparing and taking exams trains
                       you to:
                       • Manage your time well
                       • Handle stress
                       • Perform under pressure
                       • Have a competitive spirit
                       • Concentrate and focus

                       All these thinking skills are really
                       important to succeed in ANY kind of job in the future. Although I thought
                       taking algebra was a super waste of my time in school, I realized as an
                       adult that solving equations and problem sums has trained my brain to be
                       super smart in building businesses and making money.

                       How Does Literature Help You Succeed?
                       So, think about it. How does studying Literature train your thinking?
                       Again, when you start working in the future you will never have to
                       remember what Romeo and Juliet did. However, Literature trains your
                       brain in:
                       • Creative thinking
                       • Learning about human emotions and how people behave
                       • Observing and understanding human interaction
                       • Reading people's minds
                       • Organizing information to support an argument

                       Again, all these thinking skills are essential for you to be successful as
                       an actor, teacher, lawyer, manager, businessperson, psychologist,
                       surgeon, politician, advertiser, journalist, army commander, or any kind
                       of leader. In short, you need these thinking skills in every profession.

                       Why Does a Professional Athlete,
                       Singer or Actor Need to Go to School?
                       So, if you want to be a professional soccer
                       player or actor, do you need to do well in school?

                       Well, if you want to be just an average athlete
                       and lounge singer, then performing well in
                       school is probably not that important. However, if

       School…             80
                portant?
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                       you want to be at the top, then a good education
                       will give you a huge advantage over all the rest.

                     This is why many of the top athletes in the world
                     come from top universities. Tiger Woods (world's
                #1 golfer) studied in Stanford University. Michael Phelps
               (world's #1 swimmer) graduated from the University of
                 Michigan, and Michael Jordan (world's #1 basketball
                  player) went to the University of North Carolina.
                  These top performers knew that while physical ability
                   was important in sports, it was their brains that would
                   beat all the other dumb ass competitors.
                  Smart sportspeople also know that by age 30-35, many
                  will have to retire. If they do not have enough education,
                 they will not know how to manage their money wisely
                and continue to be successful after their sports career
              is over. Those with a poor education usually end up getting
             cheated or making bad decisions. No matter how much
            money they make, they usually lose it all when they retire.

An example is Singapore soccer legend Fandi Ahmad. Fandi became
Singapore's first millionaire sportsman after achieving success as a striker
in the Asian and European soccer clubs.

Sadly, because he lacked the proper business skills, he lost most of his
fortune through failed businesses and poor money skills. He ended up in
debt. Here are examples of celebrities who made millions of dollars in
sports and entertainment, but ended up going broke!

•   Michael Jackson (King of Pop)
•   Mike Tyson (Boxing Champion)
•   Evander Holyfield (Boxing Champion)
•   Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (Basketball Great)
•   Scottie Pippen (Basketball Great)
•   R&B Group TLC (Entertainer)
•   Britney Spears (Entertainer)
•   Lindsay Lohan (Entertainer) etc…

So even if you want to achieve success in
sports or entertainment, doing well in school
may well be the smart thing to do!




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                       Exams Are a Game! Life is a Competition.
                       Are You Playing to Win?
                       If you are like most people, you probably do not like sitting for examinations.
                       You probably think they are stressful and boring.

                       On the other hand, do you enjoy playing games? Chances are, you probably
                       do. Most of us love to play games. We like the challenge and excitement
                       of competing with others. Most of all, we all like to WIN!

                       You also know that in order to win any game, you have to give your all:
                       i.e.100% effort, and really play to win! If you do not play to win, you will
                       never come out victorious. What if I told you examinations were one
                       big game, and life was one big competition?

                       Many teens never realize this, so they never play to win. Instead, they
                       play NOT TO LOSE. As a result, they may win at sports and computer
                       games, but end up big losers in the 'game' of exams and life.

                       The Game of Exams - Know Your 'Enemy'
                       If exams are a game, then who are your competitors? Are they your
                       teachers? The exam paper?

                       In actual fact, you are competing with students
                       from all the other schools, to see who gets the
                       best grades.

                       Your teachers are the coaches who
                       are there to train you to
                       win this game. The exam
                       paper is the 'ball' that you
                       are playing with. The people who
                       mark your exam papers are the 'referees' and
                       'scorers'. The Ministry of Education is the organizer of the game, just
                       like FIFA is the organizer of the FA Cup.

                       Competition Separates the Leaders from the Workers
                       The game of examinations is played to see who gets into the top schools
                       and universities (the winners), and who doesn't get in. So, why must
                       there be this competition? Why can't everybody go to university and
                       get the highest education?

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                portant?
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                                    The reason is that in this Society, we
                                       cannot have too many leaders
                                        around. If everyone went to
                                        university and became a leader,
                                       then who would do all the lower
                                      skilled jobs? Who would become
                                     waiters, drivers, factory workers,
                                   office boys or cleaners? … It sounds
                                 really BAD, but this is a fact of life
                              in society.

                         Therefore, society has been designed in such a
                         way that only a few (less than 20%) of all the
                            students can get into top schools and
                            universities. To be one of the 20%, you have
                           to fight hard to WIN this competition.

The Competition Never Ends
When you finish school and start working in a company, is the competition
over? Nope! In fact, you are now in a bigger competitive 'pool'; it is called
the CORPORATE GAME.

Let me explain how this whole
game works. A company is made
up like a pyramid with many
different levels. As you can     Chief
see, there are many people at  Executive
the bottom, and only a few    Earn $10,000 to
at the top.                   Millions/month

                                  Directors
                          Earn $6,000-$100,000/month


                                 Managers
                           Earn $3,000-$6,000/month


                                 Executives
                           Earn $2,000-$3,000/month

                          Blue collar Workers
                            Earn $800-$1,200/month


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                       At the lowest level, you have the BLUE COLLAR WORKERS.
                       Blue-collar workers hold jobs such as waiters, cleaners, factory
                       workers, technicians, construction workers, security guards, office
                       boys, delivery people etc…

                       Working in Singapore, they would get paid between $800-$1,200 a
                       month. In fact, your school IS a company. Think of the blue-collar workers
                       in your school.

                       The next level is made up of the EXECUTIVES. To be an executive
                       you would need to have at least a diploma (from a polytechnic) or a
                       degree from university. In Singapore, executives get paid about
                       $2,000 - $3,000 a month. In your school, your 'Teachers' are the executives.

                       The next level is made up of MANAGERS. Managers are the bosses
                       of the executives and the blue-collar workers. There are all kinds
                       of managers in the corporate world: restaurant managers, marketing
                       managers, bank managers etc… In a school, the managers are the
                       HODs (Head of Departments). Managers get paid about $3,000- $6,000
                       a month.

                       Those who work really hard and stand out get to the next level - they are
                       called DIRECTORS. Again, there are many kinds of directors in different
                       types of companies. In the Army, directors are called 'Colonels' and
                       'Generals'. In your school, the directors are the 'Principal', 'Vice-Principal'
                       and the directors at the Ministry of Education. Directors get paid between
                       $6,000 to $100,000 a month (in large companies).

                       Finally at the very top, is the BIG BOSS. He or she is usually called
                       the President, Chief Executive Officer (CEO) or Managing Director. In
                       your school, the big boss is the Minister of Education. Big bosses can
                       get paid millions of dollars a year.


                       What Kind of Life Do You Want?

                       So, where do you want to end up?

                       Do you want to end up as a blue-collar worker, a manager, or a director?
                       Do you want to be earning $800 a month, or $100,000 a month?

                       There is NO right or wrong answer. It DEPENDS on the kind of lifestyle
                       you want.

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                portant?
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Obviously, if you want to have a very comfortable life, live in a big house
and have the freedom to buy whatever you desire, take good care of your
family's material wants, gain the respect of many people and donate
generously to charity, then you need to have a top job that will pay you
a high income.

On the other hand, if you don't mind living in a small flat, taking the bus
to work and living a simple life, then there is nothing wrong with ending
up in a low level job.

However, bear in mind that a low income means that you will have far
fewer choices in your life. You may not have the freedom to do many
things that you like, and your life may be controlled by your bosses.

Whichever kind of future you want, you have to DECIDE RIGHT NOW!
How well you do in your studies today will affect where you will end up
in the future.

If you don’t do it now, by the time you do decide what you want for your
future, it will be too late, and you won’t be able to turn back.

                              How Do I Climb to the Top?

                              Many of my students tell me that they want
                           to climb all the way to the top, and they ask
                            me what it takes.

                               Getting to the top of the company's pyramid
                                           game is much like climbing
                                                the different levels of a
                                                computer game. To get to
                                                the next level, you have
                                                to play the game and beat
                                            all your opponents.

                                         For example, in a company
                                         where there are 100
                                       executives, all of them will
                                        want to get promoted to
become managers. However, there are only 20 manager positions
available. So, the 100 executives will have to compete against each
other to see who can work the smartest and the hardest. The winners
will get promoted to the next level.


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                       Then all the 20 managers will compete and 'fight' to become directors.
                       This time, the competition is even tougher as, out of the 20 managers,
                       there are only 5 director positions. This competition goes on until they
                       reach the top of the corporate ladder.

                       In any computer game you play, your character will have weapons to
                       help him win right? Similarly, in the game of life, the 'WEAPONS'
                       that will help you climb to the top are represented by the EDUCATION
                       you have.




                           Primary     Secondary         Junior College/          University
                            School       School            Polytechnic

                       To give you a metaphor, having a Primary School Certificate (PSLE) is
                       like having a PLASTIC KNIFE. An 'O' Level Certificate would be the
                       equivalent of having an AXE.

                       An 'A' Level Certificate or a Diploma would be like having a PISTOL.
                       Getting a university degree would be like having a MACHINE GUN, and
                       getting a Masters Degree or beyond would be like having a BAZOOKA.

                       So, just like in a computer game such as 'Counterstrike' or 'World of
                       Warcraft', the more weapons you accumulate, the better chance you
                       have of winning the game.

                       Freedom…How to Get What Everybody Wants

                       So, what is the point of getting good grades, getting a good job and earning
                       enough money?

                       All these give us something that we all really want…FREEDOM!

                       Isn't freedom what you ultimately want? Freedom means that you
                       have the choice to do anything you want. Freedom means that you
                       can do anything and have anything that you desire, and no one will

       School…              86
                portant?
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restrict you (of course this does not include anything illegal, say robbing
a bank).

As a student, the one thing that will give you lots of freedom is
GOOD GRADES. Think about it! If you score straights 'A's for
your exams, you can choose to go to any school, any university, and
any course.




You can choose to do anything you want in the future. You could
become a doctor, a businessperson, or a professional sportsperson. At
the same time, when you get good grades, I bet you that your parents
will get off your back. They will stop nagging and give you a lot
more freedom.

However, if you get lousy grades, your parents will tend to get more
paranoid, and restrict you a lot more. They may stop you from gaming
or going out with your friends.

With lousy grades, you will have much fewer choices. You may not be
able to get into the school or course of your choice. You may end up
getting into courses most others do not want, and getting jobs that nobody
else wants. That really sucks, doesn't it?

So aim to get good grades and give yourself the freedom to go where you
want, do what you want…and follow your heart!

As a student, good grades give you lots of freedom, right? Well, once
you start working, the thing that will give you freedom is MONEY.

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                       Yup! When you have enough money, you have the freedom to work when
                       you feel like it, and do what you enjoy.

                       You have the freedom to buy what you desire (at least material stuff).
                       You have the freedom to give your family the best that money can buy.
                       Most importantly, you have the power to help
                       the less fortunate and make the world a better
                       place - as Bill Gates of Microsoft did.
                       So, have you decided on the kind of life you
                       want to have in the future? If your goal is to
                       live a comfortable life, with the freedom to do
                       what you want, then you probably realize that
                       you need to do well in school to build your weapons
                       for the competition ahead.

                       If you have not been doing too well in your
                       studies, don't worry! Remember, I was once
                       a super lousy student. In chapter 10, you are
                       going to learn the Secrets of Scoring 'A's, even though you think that you
                       are too smart enough as I used to think.




       School…             88
                portant?
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CHAPTER   SIX
MASTERING YOUR
MIND FOR SUCCESS
  CHAPTER
   SIX         Mastering Your
               Mind for Success
You are now going to learn how to control your mind, the most powerful
resource you have, to achieve the things you want.

The potential of your mind is virtually unlimited,
and your brain is more powerful than the
most sophisticated super computers in the
world. When you can master your mind,
you can motivate yourself anytime you
want. You can turn fear into confidence.
You can throw away sad feelings and
feel great about yourself.

Your mind can do all these things for you!
Isn't that awesome? The problem is that most
people have got no idea how to control their powerful mind. They
let their mind control them! They want to change and be more successful,
but they keep having negative thoughts and lousy feelings.

The Power of Your Emotions

Has there been a time when you wanted to study for a test, but felt too
lazy to start? Or a time when you wanted to get started on an assignment,
but kept procrastinating?

                                            Have you also felt so depressed
                                            about something that you
                                            couldn't get yourself to do
                                            anything? Have you prepared
                                         well for an exam or a sports
                                        competition, but did not perform
                                       at your best because you were too
                                      nervous?

                                            Often in life, what stops us
                                            from taking action or doing

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                                                           our best is the lousy emotions
                                                           we feel. Negative emotions such
                                                           as laziness, depression, fear,
                                                           anxiety, procrastination, stress,
                                                           anger and frustration.

                                                     On the other hand, has there
                                                     been a time when you were able
                                                     to take action and perform
                                                     really well? What gave you this
                                                     power was the powerful emotions
                                                     you were feeling at that time.
                  Powerful emotions such as motivation, confidence, focus and calm.
                  When you feel strong positive emotions such as joy and happiness,
                  doesn't that make you feel great?

                  You feel different emotions all the time. Powerful emotions bring out the
                  best in you and lousy emotions stop you from realizing your real potential.


                    Powerful Emotions                                 Lousy Emotions

                    CONFIDENCE                                        LAZINESS
                    MOTIVATION                                        LETHARGY
                    FOCUS                                             FEAR
                    HAPPINESS                                         DEPRESSION
                    ENERGY                                            STRESS
                    LOVE                          Emotions            ANGER
                    EXCITEMENT                                        PROCRASTINATION
                                                        Affect your


                                                  Actions
                                                (Behaviour)
                                                        Affect your



                                                   Results




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Self-Reflection Time
Before moving on, I would like you to find out something
really important about yourself. I would like you to
think about the six most common emotions that you
experience almost everyday.

Think about this...
• What’s the first feeling you get when you wake up? Lethargy? Excitement?
• What emotions do you feel when studying? Motivated? Stressed?
  Bored?
• How do you feel when you face a big challenge? Confident? Fearful?
• When things don’t go well, how do you feel? Hopeless? Motivated
  to work harder?

Now, go ahead and write down six of these emotions.

1) ______________________________________________
2) ______________________________________________
3) ______________________________________________
4) ______________________________________________
5) ______________________________________________
6) ______________________________________________

Are they powerful emotions that drive you to take action, or are they
emotions that make you feel bad and stop you from taking action? If it’s
a powerful emotion, put a tick next to it. If it’s a lousy emotion, put a
cross next to it.

So, what did you find out about yourself? Do you have more ticks or
crosses? I have found that most people feel lousy a lot more than they
feel good. This is why the majority of people never become successful.

Successful teens keep feeling motivated, confident and focused on
what they do. It is these emotions that push them to keep doing their
best, until they succeed.

You Create Your Emotions
If you are the kind of person who keeps
feeling lazy, can you actually become
very motivated? Can you turn yourself from a
shy person into someone super confident? The good news is YOU CAN!

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                  Let me tell you a big secret…

                  YOU create your emotions! Believe it or not, when you feel lazy, you are
                  actually creating that lousy emotion within yourself. When you feel
                  motivated, you are also creating that feeling inside of you.

                  Since you are creating your emotions, you have the Power to change your
                  emotions INSTANTLY, if you know how!


                  Your Thoughts Create Your Emotions
                  You create your emotions through the thoughts you have!

                                                    Let's say that you failed a History exam
                                                      and your friends laughed at you.
                                                           Would you feel demoralized,
                                                        or more motivated to work harder
                                                        next time? It depends on what you
                                                        think about.

                                                    If you think to yourself, 'I keep
                                                    failing! I am dumb! I will never
                                                      pass History', and you also start
                                                       thinking of all the times you
                                                        failed, you will start feeling
                  depressed. You will feel so demoralized, that you will no longer be in
                  the mood to continue studying History.

                  However, if you think, ‘I
                  KNOW I can get an 'A' if I
                  study hard enough!' then you
                  start thinking of how great it will
                  be to score an 'A' in the next test. You
                  will prove everyone wrong. With
                  such thoughts you will feel excited
                  and motivated to study hard for
                  the next test.

                  So you can see that it was not the
                  'Failed History Exam' or 'People Laughing at You' that made you feel
                  good or bad. It was how you thought about the experience!



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                     No One Can Make You Feel
                     Good Or Bad Except Yourself

I remember a time when I was about to give a speech in front of 100
students during a project presentation in school. The moment I saw
the stage and the crowd, my heart started beating like a bullet train,
and I had butterflies in my stomach.

At first, I thought that the crowd was making me scared. Then, another
kid went up to speak first. He was super cool and calm. He spoke
confidently as if there were only one person in the audience. Instead
of feeling fearful, the way I did, he was having lots of fun. 'How does
he do that?', I thought to myself. ' How come the audience is not making
him feel scared?'

             Emotions are Not 'Diseases' that We Catch
         from Our Environment. We Create Them Ourselves

The truth is that the crowd was not making me feel scared. I was making
myself scared by the thoughts running riot in my mind. I kept thinking
that I would embarrass myself. I kept imagining that everyone would
think I was a poor speaker, and laugh at me.

I discovered that my friend Jason had learned the secret of how to control
his thoughts and his emotions. He knew how to make himself feel confident
and calm, even with 100 pairs of eyeballs looking at him.

Ever since I learned this secret of how to control my thoughts, I have
been able to speak to audiences of up to 5,000 people and feel totally
confident and relaxed.

Let me teach you this secret right now…



The Secret of Controlling Your Thoughts
Can you make yourself feel confident right now? Can you make yourself
feel lousy now? Sure you can! All you have to do is to change your
thoughts.

This may sound like a weird question, but have you ever wondered HOW

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                  you think? If you know HOW you think, you can control your thoughts,
                  can't you?

                  In a moment, close your eyes and think of something that makes you feel
                  really lousy. For example, you could think of a past failure, a time when
                  you got into an argument, or maybe something you hate doing.

                  Please close your eyes and do this now before reading on.

                  Did you start to feel those lousy feelings as
                  you started to think about such an experience?
                  I bet you did. Now, what happened in your
                  mind? If you are like most people, you have
                  probably made PICTURES in your head.

                  Well, as simple as it seems, that's the
                  first way we all think, i.e. by imagining and
                  recalling pictures. The pictures (or movies) you
                  keep playing in your mind create your emotions.

                                           What You See is What You Get
                                              When you focus on playing lousy pictures in
                                          your mind, you feel lousy. When you focus on
                  playing positive pictures in our mind, you feel great.

                  Many times you feel depressed because you keep thinking of all the
                  bad stuff that is happening to you. You keep playing all those ugly
                  pictures in your head… of how bad things are, or how bad they will get.

                  Later, I am going to show you a cool way of
                  how to scramble away all those lousy pictures,
                  and turn lousy feelings into great ones.

                  Have you ever felt lazy and disinclined
                  to start doing something, say studying
                  for your coming test? You feel lazy
                  because you imagine how difficult,
                  overwhelming and painful it is
                  going to be. Again, by playing
                  all these negative pictures in
                  your mind, you don't feel like
                  getting started.


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To create any emotion you want, you must focus on certain pictures
to play. You must push the 'right' buttons to activate the emotions
you want.

For example, if you want to feel 'Motivated' to do something, imagine
how fun it's going to be, or see yourself getting the great results and
benefits. When I was studying for my 'O' level examinations, there
were times when I just didn't feel like opening my books. To motivate
myself, I would see myself achieving all the goals I wanted. I
made pictures in my mind of how proud I would be holding the
straight-'A's results, and how amazed my friends would be.

So, what you see (in your mind) is what you will get. Losers see lousy
pictures in their mind's 'eye', while winners see themselves winning.

                      What You Say is What You Get
                      Besides playing pictures in our mind, we also think
                      by talking to ourselves.

                     From the time you wake
up in the morning to the time you go to
sleep at night, you talk to yourself in your
head an average of 60,000 times a day!
What you say to yourself affects how you
feel. What do you find that you say to yourself
from the moment you wake up?

Take a couple of minutes to do this short exercise in order to reflect on
the way you usually talk to yourself. What do you usually say to yourself…

a) When you wake up in the morning?
_____________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________

b) Before you start studying, going to class, or doing your homework?
_____________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________


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                  c) When you encounter a problem/challenge?
                  _____________________________________________________________________________________

                  _____________________________________________________________________________________

                  _____________________________________________________________________________________

                  d) When you don't get the results you want? (Example: get a lousy score
                     on a test, get an answer wrong, or lose a game or competition)
                  _____________________________________________________________________________________

                  _____________________________________________________________________________________

                  _____________________________________________________________________________________

                  Write down your answers in the space above. Imagine yourself in those
                  situations and you will start to be aware of your inner voice.

                  Teens who experience lousy emotions such as lethargy, frustration
                  and hopelessness, say things such as:
                                                          a) When they wake up
                                                              in the morning
                                                    “Let me sleep for ten more minutes”
                       b) Before they start anything “Why must I get up so early?”
                   “ This subject sucks! I hate doing this”
                       “ This is going to be boring”
                            “ Must I do this now?
                               I'll do it later”

                            c) When they encounter
                                     problems
                    “ It's too difficult! I can never do this!”
                    “Why does this always happen to me?”
                           “ Why must I have so many
                                    problems?'

                                      d) When they don't
                                    get the results they want
                                    “Why am I so unlucky?”
                                    “Why do I keep failing?”
                                             “Sh*t!!!”
                                    “What's wrong with me?”



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Saying these things to yourself focuses your thoughts on the negative,
and creates lousy emotions. If you want to change how you feel, then
change the way you talk to yourself!

Successful teens also have challenges and failures. Yet, they are able
to get themselves to feel motivated and confident by talking differently
to themselves.

Here's what they say to themselves…

                                  a) When they wake up
                                       in the morning
                               “This is gonna be a great day! ”
                                  “ I can't wait to achieve
                                       my goals today”
                      b) Before they start anything
                            “Let's do this now”
                         “ I'm gonna do my best”

                                         c) When they encounter
                                                problems
                                       “I know I can overcome this”
                                       “How can I find a solution?”

                         d) When they don't get
                          the results they want
                       “ What can I learn from this?”
                          “ How can I do better
                               next time?”

These powerful words focus your thoughts on the solution and on your
goals. They give you the motivation and confidence to do your best.




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                  Powerful Words and Lousy Words
                  Did you know that certain words you use give you more power, and
                  certain words take your power away?

                              LOUSY WORDS               POWERFUL WORDS
                              I will TRY my best        I will DO my best
                              I HATE Exams              I LOVE Exams
                              I have a PROBLEM          I met a CHALLENGE
                              I CANNOT do it            I CAN do it
                              I am a LOUSY student      I am a GREAT student

                  Your brain is just like a computer. You can program a computer to crash,
                  or to operate even faster. The same thing goes for your brain. You are
                  constantly programming your mind by the words you say.

                  If you keep saying, 'I'm not good, I'm not good, I'm not good…”, your
                  brain will accept these commands and destroy all your confidence. If you
                  keep saying, 'I CANNOT do this', your brain will shut down and stop
                  looking for a solution. When you say I CAN do this, your brain will work
                  hard to find a way to do it.

                  Another word that destroys your power is the word 'TRY'. When you say,
                  'I will TRY to pass my exams’, or ‘I will TRY to finish my homework',
                  you will probably not do a very good job. 'TRY' tells your brain that it
                  may fail, and that you will put in only 50% of your effort. Winners never
                  use the word 'TRY'. Winners program themselves with the words 'I WILL
                  DO my very best'.

                  So, let's summarize what you have learned….
                  You can change your emotions by controlling your thoughts. If you want
                  to feel powerful emotions, such as confidence, passion and motivation,
                  think positive thoughts! You can control your thoughts by playing positive
                  PICTURES in your mind and saying positive WORDS to yourself!




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                               Pictures
        Thoughts
                                Words

Create your             Affect your               Affect your

        Emotions                 Actions                    Results
                               (Behaviour)

Destroying Those Bad Feelings
Have you ever felt stressed or depressed over something and couldn't
do anything because of it? Maybe it was
a past failure, or an argument you had
with someone, or a really painful
experience. Do you find yourself
re-playing that painful memory in
your mind and constantly feeling
bad about it?

I remember that when I was 17,
I went through a breakup with my
girlfriend just before my
exams. At first, I got so
upset constantly thinking
about her, that I didn't have
the mood to study or do anything.

The good news is that you can change bad feelings by changing the
pictures and sounds you play in your mind. There are four
steps to this Memory Scramble Technique.

Step 1: Play the Lousy Memory Like a Movie

The first step is to close your eyes and recall
the bad experience you had by playing it like a
movie in your mind.

In my case, I watched the 'movie' of how I quarreled with
my ex-girlfriend, and how we broke up. It sure hurt when
I played those insults that came out of her mouth.

Imagine pausing the movie when it reaches the end.

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                  Step 2: Play the Movie Backwards and Forwards Fast

                                           Step 2 is to play the movie in your mind
                                             backwards, and see everything happening in
                                              reverse. Even imagine hearing the words
                                              going back into the person's mouth. Imagine
                                              how funny it would sound.

                                              Then, play the movie fast forwards, at three
                                             times the normal speed. Imagine everything
                                            going super fast, even the words and sounds
                                          becoming like a chipmunk's squeaky voice.

                                     Repeat this process of playing the movie forwards and
                                      backwards about five times.

                  Step 3: Change the Pictures, Making Them Ridiculous

                  Now, here comes the fun part. As you play the movie, imagine distorting
                  the pictures of the people you see, making the poor fellas look ridiculous.

                  For example, I imagined my ex-girlfriend growing Mickey Mouse
                  ears and growing a beak, like Donald
                  Duck’s. I imagined her hopping around,
                  flapping her wings, while she was
                  mouthing those hurtful words.

                  Then, I imagined that the words which
                  came out of her mouth were accompanied
                  by farting sounds, and she sounded just like
                  the chipmunks. I even added some circus music
                  in the background.

                  Step 4: Test It

                  Once you've done all those crazy things in your head, you have got to test
                  if it has worked.

                  Close your eyes and think about that bad experience again. Does it still
                  create those lousy feelings? If you followed the steps, you would find
                  that the bad memory doesn't make you feel so bad or so sad anymore. In
                  fact, thinking about it may even make you start laughing!



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Ever since I have learned the 'Memory Scramble', I have used it to get
over past failures and past events that have made me angry, sad or fearful.

Change Your Body, Change Your Emotions
The way you use and move your body also affects how you feel.




                  Sad                 Confident                Nervous

Do you know that you can instantly change your emotions by
changing five aspects of your body? I call these the five body buttons.
Let’s see what they are:


   2) Your Facial Expressions
            3) Your Breathing                4) Your Voice
                                             1) Your Posture
                                                (Head, Shoulder & Back position)
                                                  5) Your Movements




                                Confident

Can I ask you to do a few crazy experiments to see how fast you can
change your emotions by simply changing your five body buttons?




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                  Experiment One: Getting Bored and Lethargic

                  Can you remember a time when you felt really
                  bored, lethargic (i.e. “Sian”), and unwilling to take
                  action? I'm sure you can.

                  Well, I want you to imagine feeling really bored and
                  lethargic right now. Think about reading 60 pages
                  from a History textbook!

                  As you start to feel really bored and lethargic, start noticing that your
                  body is also beginning to change
                  • What's happening to your posture?
                  • What's happening to your facial expression?
                  • Notice how you are breathing.
                  • How do you begin to talk when you feel bored?
                  • How do you usually move?

                  I bet that when you start feeling bored, you will start to slouch, and
                  your head will start to go down. Your eyes will look down, and you
                  may also start to frown. Your breathing will slow down and become
                  shallower. Your voice will get lower and softer, and you will start to
                  move slower, right?

                  How come? Because for you to feel 'bored', you had to change your body
                  in all those 5 ways! Did you know that if you did not change your posture,
                  breathing, movement and facial expression, it would be impossible for
                  you to feel bored?

                  We create our emotions by the way we change our five body buttons. We
                  do this so naturally, that we don't usually think about it.

                  Experiment Two: Trying to Feel Motivated While Displaying a Bored
                                  Body Language

                  Now, let's test out something that may seem a bit weird. I want you to
                  keep your body the way it is when you feel totally bored.

                  Slouch your shoulders and hang your head down. Breathe really slowly
                  and shallowly. Look down and put on a 'bored' face. Move really slowly.

                  Now, without changing anything in your body, I want you to try to feel
                  motivated to do something. Think of something you usually really enjoy
                  doing (e.g. playing computer games) and say, “let's do it” in a super boring

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                                    sloooow tone of voice.
                         Do you feel motivated to do it? I can bet that
                      as long as your body was in a 'bored' state, it was
                    impossible for you to feel enthusiastic about anything.

                      The lesson here is that unless we change our 5 body
                       buttons, we can't change how we feel. So, if you
                       slouch on your chair, breathe slowly and talk in
                        a super boring voice, there is no way you can
                           feel motivated to take action.

Experiment Three: Jumpstart Your Motivation

This time, I want you to radically change the way you are using your body.

Think of a time when you felt super motivated to do something (e.g. just
before playing your favourite game, watching an exciting movie etc…)

Now, shift your body exactly the way it was then! Breathe the way you
did when you felt really motivated. Move with the same energy. Put the
same expression of motivation on your face. Sit/stand in the same posture,
and speak in the same voice, tone and volume.

Do you realize how different your body becomes when you are feeling
motivated? To feel motivated, your body had to do these things:

1) Your Posture - shoulders back, chest out, leaning forward with your
   head up
2) Your Facial Expression- face muscles tighten up and eyes are focused
3) Your Breathing- faster and deeper
4) Your Voice- faster, higher pitched and louder
5) Your Movements- much faster

This is your body's code to get you
into a motivated state. Unless you change
your body in this way, you can never feel
motivated.

The lesson is that if you want to
create any powerful emotion, you
have to instantly change the way
you use your body!



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                  If you want to feel confident, stand the way you stand when you feel
                  confident, i.e. with your head up high, chest out and shoulders back. Talk
                  in a loud, assertive voice. Move your body in a confident way, and breathe
                  deep and regular breaths. Purse your lips and focus your eyes!

                  The funny thing is that by just acting AS IF you are confident, you
                  will actually start to FEEL the confidence in yourself.

                  How to Motivate Yourself Instantly
                  Imagine that your exam is around the corner and you just don't feel
                  like studying. How can you apply what you've just learned to get
                                                        MOTIVATED INSTANTLY?

                                                           Step 1: Change Your Body!

                                          If you want to feel motivated, you've got to move
                                           your body in a way that creates those emotions.

                                            Even if it seems crazy, jump up, clench your
                                            fists and shout, 'Yes! Let's Do It!” Use the
                                            most excited voice possible. Take fast,
                                              deep breaths, and put an excited look on
                                              your face.

                                      As silly as it may sound, doing this will shake you
                                     out of your lazy mood and shift you into a 'take action
                                     now!' mode.

                  Step 2: Focus on Thoughts that Inspire You!

                  Next, imagine yourself achieving the
                  goals that you want by taking action.
                  Imagine yourself having lots of fun
                  taking action, and reaping all the
                  benefits you will get from your
                  positive actions.

                  When I was getting myself in the
                  mood to study, I would visualize
                  myself receiving straight 'A'
                  grades. I would imagine how
                  proud I would feel and how
                  much my family and friends

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would admire me. I would then visualize myself studying in the National
University of Singapore, and becoming a super successful role model and
businessman (my ultimate goal).

                                              Step 3: Focus on Thoughts
                                               that Scare You!

                                             Have you noticed that we
                                             also get motivated to do
                                            something when we are afraid
                                          of the pain of NOT doing it? For
                                        example, you may be motivated
                                      to finish your homework before
               class starts because you fear being punished, scolded, or
                 humiliated by the teacher.

                     To get motivated, you also think of all the PAIN
you will experience if you don't start taking action. Create those scary
pictures in your mind, and make them stronger and stronger until they
motivate you to start taking action.

For example, the things I was most afraid of were: not getting a good
degree, being laughed at by others, and becoming poor. I used all these
fears to motivate myself.

I would visualize what would happen if I continued to be lazy and not
take action. I would imagine all those nasty pictures in my mind, making
the scary feelings stronger and stronger, until I felt that I had to study
immediately.

Take Charge of Your Emotions & Take Action!
Now you have all the tools you need to take charge of your emotions and
achieve the results you want. Keep practicing what you have learned.
You will find that the more you 'play' with your thoughts and body, the
more control you will have over them.

Does this mean you will never feel lazy or lousy again? Of course not.
At times, it is natural that you will still feel the negative emotions of fear,
anger, laziness and depression.

Only NOW, you have the choice and strategies to control and change
those emotions into powerful ones that will drive you to success!

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CHAPTER   SEVEN
THINK BIG AND
MAKE IT HAPPEN!
  CHAPTER
SEVEN          Think Big and
               Make it Happen!
What kind of life do you want to live? What kind of person do you want
to become? Do you want to be among the top 10% of people who achieve
great success in their lives, or the 90% who lead ordinary lives?

If you are contented just living an ordinary life, then stop reading now!

However, if you want to achieve great things such as getting into a top
university, becoming a winner in sports, leading a great company, becoming
very rich, driving a beautiful car, being a role model and making a
difference in other people's lives, then that's terrific!

I'm here to tell you that you CAN achieve all these great things. If I can
do it, so can you. BUT all these achievements will NOT happen by chance!

Bill Gates, Tiger Woods, David Beckham, Donald Trump, Warren Buffett,
Richard Branson, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Barack Obama did not
get to where they are by accident. It was not luck. They didn't do
the same things that all their friends did, and woke up one day suddenly
being super-successful.

They all became who they are today because they all had ONE
THING in common: they dared to THINK BIG and set BIG GOALS
at an early age.

The Most Successful People in the World Started
by Setting Big Goals…. Shouldn't You?
Every great achievement begins with thinking
big and setting big goals. Barack Hussein Obama
is currently the 44th President of the United
States. What's amazing about Obama's
achievement is that he is the first African-
American to be elected President.

How did he accomplish this? Was he super lucky?

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                  Did he come from a rich family with lots of connections? Did his
                  parents give him all the necessary encouragement and wisdom? Nope!
                  It all started when, at the age of five, young Obama dreamed of
                  becoming the President of America.

                  While studying in a kindergarten in Indonesia, young Obama wrote
                  an essay entitled 'I want to become President'.

                  At that time, it seemed to be an impossible and crazy dream to
                  just about everyone. Firstly, he was a black kid studying not in the
                  USA, but in Indonesia. Secondly, Obama was black, while all the US
                  presidents had been white. Obama was also born into a poor family,
                  and his parents separated when he was age 2.

                  Nevertheless, he dared to THINK BIG. With the goal of becoming a
                  president, he chose to study political science at the prestigious University
                  of Columbia. He later went to Harvard Law School, where he ran for
                  President of the Law Review and graduated with first class honors.
                  Before entering politics he worked as civil rights lawyer (helping the less
                  fortunate) and spent his free time doing community work.

                  All the choices he had made (studying hard, studying politics, running
                  for President in Harvard, doing community work) are what led him to
                  develop the skills and experience necessary to become the US President.

                  I Want to Be the Richest Man in the World
                  Another great example is that of Warren Buffett,
                  one of the richest men in the world. Like Obama’s,
                  Warren's mega achievements did not happen
                  overnight, or by chance. They all started
                  from a big goal.

                  Warren remembers that as a 6 year-old he had
                  boldly announced to his friends that he would become a millionaire by
                  age 30. And if he didn't, he would jump off the tallest building (I'm sure
                  he was kidding). Because he dared to think big, Warren did things
                  that none of his friends did. He read books on how to get rich, and thought
                  of many ways to make money.

                  He started to buy shares at the age of 11, and by age 15 he had three
                  businesses. He sold coca-cola to tourists, delivered newspapers, and
                  owned pinball machines in restaurants all over his town. He saved his
                  money and invested in land and even more stocks.

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             en
Make it Happ
As a result, Warren made $6 million by the age of 30, and became the
world's richest man in 2008, with a personal wealth of $60 billion.

As you can see, the most successful people all have one thing in common:
they set their big goals at a very young age. These goals guide them in
what they should do and give them the motivation to work really hard.

At the age of 8, today’s world #1 golfer Tiger Woods set his goal to become
the world's top golfer. Hollywood director Steven Spielberg dreamed of
becoming a moviemaker when he was just 12. Young Bill Gates had the
vision of putting a computer into every home, and the teenage Donald
Trump set his sights on becoming a billionaire property investor.

I was lucky enough to learn about the power of goals at the age of 13,
so I too started to think big and set huge goals. If I didn't set those
goals, I wouldn't have the success I enjoy today! So, if you want to
succeed, shouldn't you start setting goals too?

                                          Thinking BIG Brings Out
                                           the Best in You
                                           Why is it important to think
                                           BIG?

                                        When you think big, you get
                                      really excited. Thinking big gives
               you energy. When I thought of making my first million
              at age 26 and becoming famous, this gave me the excitement
             to study hard while the rest of my friends were too lazy to
               pick up their books.

When you think big, you start doing big things that bring out the best
in you. Because I set the big goal of becoming a millionaire, I did stuff
that most of my friends would not do. I started my first business (mobile
disco) at age 15, started my second business (training) at age 18, read
over 80 business books, started writing my first book at age 20, and
invested in stocks and property by age 21.

At the same time, if you think small, you will only attempt small things.
Doing small things only means that you will get mediocre results. You
will never realize your fullest potential! If I had not set that crazy goal
of becoming a millionaire, I would have just gotten average grades like
everyone else, gotten a normal job like everyone else, and become just
an average person today.

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                  Setting Goals Gives You Clear Direction
                  As a teenager, you have dozens of
                  choices to make in your life everyday.

                  - Should I study hard?
                  - Should I listen to my parents?
                  - Should I go steady? What kind
                    of - girl/guy should I go out with?
                  - Is it important to get good grades?
                  - What kind of friends should I hang out with?
                  - How should I spend my time?
                  - What books should I read?
                  - How should I behave?
                  - Should I smoke or not?
                  - Should I go to University, Polytechnic, or
                  start working now?
                  - What course should I take?
                  - Should I get a tattoo?

                  As you know, the choices you make are going to affect how happy and
                  successful you will be later in life. One right choice can make you really
                  successful. For example, because I made the choice to study hard and get
                  into NUS business school, I am a successful entrepreneur today.

                  At the same time, one wrong choice can destroy your life. I will share
                  with you some such stories in the next chapters of the book.

                  Your Goals Affect the Choices You Make
                  So, what affects all the choices you make in life? The answer is the
                  goals you have. Because Obama had the goal of becoming a President,
                  he made different choices than all his other friends. He chose to study
                  politics, get top grades, become a leader in school and spend his time
                  doing community work, which gave him an opportunity to understand
                  the problems that people have.

                  If he didn't have that immense goal, he might have instead chosen to
                  hang out in disco pubs, drop out of school, get tattoos on his bum, wear
                  a nose ring and study fashion design.




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So, you have got to start thinking big and setting goals for yourself….if
you intend to get Somewhere and be Somebody. When you do, you will
then be able to make the right choices for yourself! When you don't know
what you want in life, you will not know what choices to make. That's
when other people will make choices for you!


                                 If You Don't Make
                                  a Choice in Life,
                               Other People Will Make
                                  a Choice for You

The River of Life
Our life is very much like a river. It's like we are in a boat moving
downstream. As the boat moves downstream, the river divides into
many smaller streams going in different directions.

These streams represent the different directions our life can take. Some
streams may lead us to become doctors, business leaders, environmentalists,
politicians or teachers. By following other
streams we may wind up as security guards,
cleaners, drivers or factory workers.

As a student, you are still upstream. You
can still decide which part of the river you
want to end up in. If you set the goal of
becoming a business leader, then you
need to start paddling in that direction.
If you decide to become a doctor,
then you will paddle your boat in
a different direction.

Just like a real river,            ?
the river of life has           ian
                                                                 Do
                            itic




                                       Cleaner?




many strong currents                                                ctor?
                         Pol




                                                          Busin es




that will pull your boat
away from the direction
in which you want to go. These
                                                              ?    s




'currents' are distractions such as computer games, influence from lousy
friends, bad habits and trashy TV programs. However, as long as you

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                  stay focused on your goal and fight the current, you will get where you
                  want to go.

                  Most people, on the other hand, have no idea where they want to be in
                  the future. They don't know which part of the river they are headed
                  towards. They just let their 'boat of life' drift aimlessly down the river,
                  going wherever the current takes it.

                  So, if you don't start setting goals and compassing early, you may end up
                  somewhere you don't want to be!

                  Think Small! Be Realistic!
                  When you start to think big and set huge goals, be prepared that many
                  people around you will advise you to…



                                       “Know your limits”
                                           “Get Real!”
                                      “Don't aim too high or
                                     you will be disappointed”



                  When a dishwasher named Marshall Mathers dreamed of becoming a
                  world famous rapper, his friends told him he was unrealistic. He was a
                  white boy with no talent when all the great rappers were African-American.
                  When he first performed, he was even booed off stage.

                  By never giving up and never giving in to other people's limiting beliefs,
                  Marshall is now one of the world's most successful rappers. His
                  albums have won many Grammy awards and they have also become
                  some of the fastest selling hip-hop albums in history (sold in 75 million
                  copies). He is better known by his stage name 'Eminem'.

                  When Arnold Schwarzenegger aimed for Hollywood superstardom,
                  everyone told him it was impossible. His body shape was too weird,
                  his accent was too thick, he had no acting experience and his name
                  was too long. Yet, Arnold dared to think big and he became one of
                  the most successful action stars in history (starring in mega hit films
                  such as 'The Terminator')!

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After becoming a movie star, he set his next big goal of becoming the
Governor of California. Once again, people told him to 'know his limits'.
He was an actor and had no experience in politics. Again, he proved them
wrong. He was elected Governor of California in 2003.

Similarly, when I dreamed of making my first million at age 26, everyone
told me to 'get real'. ‘It is impossible to become a millionaire two years
after graduation’ is what everyone, including my parents, said. Well, I
sure proved them wrong!

People Who Think Small Are Afraid of Failure

So, why do most people think small?

Because they are afraid of being over ambitious, afraid of failing and
getting disappointed. They would rather set puny goals they can
easily achieve.

While they will probably achieve most of their goals (since they are so
small), they will never achieve any GREAT success. They will never
achieve their fullest potential.

   “Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men
  who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to
             explore the power they have to change it”
                            - Famous Adidas Slogan



Dreaming Big Turned a Poor Island into One of the
Richest Countries in the World
The most successful people in the world all have one thing in common.
They dream of achieving things that other
people think are crazy and impossible. One
such person who dared to think big was
the first prime minister of Singapore,
Lee Kuan Yew.

When Lee
became prime
minister in
1959, Singapore
was an underdeveloped colonial outpost of the

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                  British Empire. It was a tiny 710km2 island (0.16% the size of
                  California) with no natural resources such as oil, tin, gold or aluminum.
                  In fact, Singapore did not even have enough water to sustain
                  its population.

                  The only resource Singapore had was its people of less than one million.
                  At that time, the population was made up of uneducated immigrants
                  from India, China and Malaysia. There was a lot of organized crime,
                  racial riots, strikes, communist activities and drug addicts. When
                  Singapore became independent in 1965, everyone predicted that such
                  a small country, with zero resources, no army, no water, and an
                  uneducated population, could never survive.

                  Imagine if Lee were realistic and thought small. He would have
                  probably been contented if Singapore could just survive as a third world
                  country. If he did that, I certainly wouldn't be writing this book from
                  my Apple computer, sitting in my beautiful house.

                  Instead, Lee had a super big vision of transforming Singapore into a
                  first world, developed country. He set the goals of Singapore having
                  world-class standards in transportation, education, military power
                  and economic development. At that time, it sounded crazy. It's like an
                  uneducated bankrupt saying that he wants to become a millionaire.
                  Crazy as it was, he believed 100% that it could be done. For the next 30
                  years, he inspired the whole country to work towards these huge goals.

                  Today, Singapore is not only a developed, first world country, but
                  it is also ranked as the fourth richest country in the world, with a
                  GDP per capita of US$51,142 (compared to the United States GDP
                  per capita of US$46,859). Singapore has the honour of having one of
                  the world's best airports, the world's best airline, the world's best
                  port and a world class educational, military and transportation system.

                  What if I Fail? Failure leads to success!
                  You may be thinking to yourself, 'What if I set such big goals and
                  I don't achieve them?'

                  Let me tell you from experience that most of the time you WILL NOT
                  achieve your goals! For example, when I set the goal of selling
                  1 million copies of my first book, 'I Am Gifted, So Are You!', I did
                  not achieve it. When I set the goal of scoring 8'A's for my 'O' Level
                  exams, I did not achieve it!


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The good news is that even if you don't achieve your big goals, you
have NOT FAILED. You don't have to reach your goals to be
SUCCESSFUL'. As long as you move closer to your goals, you
are considered SUCCESSFUL!



               Success is a process of
              moving towards your goals
                      everyday


So even though I did not sell 1 million copies of 'I Am Gifted, So Are
You!', I sold over 100,000 copies and the book hit the national best-sellers
list. Although I did not get 8'A's for my 'O' level exams, I achieved 7'A's
and managed to get into Victoria Junior College. Because I moved towards
my goals, I succeeded!

In other words, AIM FOR THE STARS! Even if you don't get there, you
will reach the MOON!

There Are No Failures, Only Learning Experiences
Successful people dare to DREAM BIG because they are not afraid of
failure. How come? Well, they believe that if you don't achieve your
goals, you will nonetheless have a good LEARNING EXPERIENCE.

When you get a learning experience, you get to learn from your mistakes;
you change your strategy, keep taking action and keep moving towards
your goals.

So the only way you can fail is if you quit. If you don't quit, you can
NEVER FAIL. I also believe that the greatest failure in life is NOT
TAKING ACTION.

If you don't even 'try', then you are a failure! But if you give it (whatever
'it' is) your best shot, then you are sure to succeed or get a learning
experience. The more learning experiences you get, the closer you will
get to your goals.


1
    Source: International Monetary Fund 2008


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                                       As Long As You Dream Big and
                                      Take Action, You Can Never Fail.
                                           You Either Succeed or
                                        Get a Learning Experience.


                  When You Are Committed to a Dream, Nothing Can Stop You!
                  What if you are unlucky to be born with lots of problems and obstacles
                  that make big dreams impossible? Well, let me tell you that when you are
                  committed to a dream, NOTHING can stop you.

                                              Let me tell you the story of Dr. William Tan,
                                              a world famous wheelchair marathoner
                                               and brain scientist. William was born into
                                               a modest family in Singapore and, at the
                                                age of two, contracted an illness called
                                                'Polio'. The illness caused him to become
                                                 paralyzed from the waist down.

                                                 William was so poor, that he could not
                                                 even afford crutches. So, for 10 years,
                                                 William could only move around
                                                  by crawling on his hands. Despite
                                                  his disability, William dreamed of
                                         becoming a doctor and an Olympic athlete.
                  Everyone told him that his dream was impossible.

                  This big dream drove him to study really hard and to build up his
                  upper body. He did the latter by doing hundreds of pushups everyday.
                  He scored straight 'A's for all his exams, and entered Raffles Institution
                  and Raffles Junior College. Despite getting top grades for his 'A' level
                  exams, The National University of Singapore (NUS) rejected his
                  application for medical school because of his condition.

                  Did William give up on his dream to become a doctor? Not at all. He
                  knew that there had to be a way!

                  So, he decided to study Biology and Psychology in the NUS, and he
                  worked for the government for 9 years to save up enough money for his

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eventual goal. Then, in 1989,
he went to Harvard and
Oxford University, where
he became a brain scientist.
He became one of the top
students there, achieving
a First Class Honours in
Physiology and becoming
a Harvard University
Fulbright Scholar and
Oxford University's
Raffles Scholar. A few years later,
William earned his medical degree and achieved his lifelong
dream of becoming a medical doctor!

At the same time, William pursued his dream of becoming an Olympic
athlete. Once again, people told him that he could never become an athlete
because of his disability. Through sheer will and determination, he proved
everyone wrong again!

Today, William is an accomplished sportsman. A wheelchair marathon
champion, he has competed in the Paralympics, Commonwealth Games
and Asia-Pacific Games, and won many trophies and medals. In 2008, he
broke the Guinness Book of World Records by completing 7 marathons
across 7 continents - in his wheelchair -- in just 27 days!

Setting Powerful Goals that Work
So, how do you set powerful goals that will drive you towards success?
For goals to be powerful, they have to be SMAD.

1. Specific
The more specific your goal is, the better you can focus on it, and the
more likely you are to achieve it.

For example, the goal, 'To do well in Math'
is not specific enough. If you set a goal such as
'Achieve 95% for Math', then you have a clear
target to focus on. You know that you can only
afford to make 5% worth of mistakes. If you
got 70% for your last test, then you know you
need to improve by 25%!



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                  Similarly, if you set a goal to 'lose some weight', your mind does not
                  know how much weight you need to lose. 1kg? 5kgs? 10Kgs? If you set
                  a specific goal, say 'lose 5kgs in 5 months', then you know that you need
                  to lose an average of 1kg per month.

                                     2. Measurable
                                     Your goals have also got to be 'measurable'. If you
                                     cannot measure the goal, you will not know if you
                                       have achieved it.

                                 For example, if you set a goal to 'practice swimming more',
                  or 'study harder', you will not be able to measure your progress. The goal
                  has got to be set in a measurable way, for instance 'practice swimming
                  for 2 hours, 3 times a week' or 'study 3 hours a day'.

                  3. Action Plan
                  Goals only remain daydreams until you come up with an action plan to
                  achieve them. An action plan tells you exactly what you need to do to
                  achieve that goal.

                  For example, if your goal is to 'save $5,000 in 12 months', then an action
                  plan could be:
                  a. Give tuition twice a week to earn $200 a month
                  b. Stop buying CDs and Games for the next 12 months
                  c. Buy a dress only once every 3 months with a budget of $50 each
                  b. Save $400 every month

                  4) Deadline
                  Most important of all, every goal must come with a
                  deadline, a date of accomplishment. Most people
                  set a goal only to say that they will do it later.
                  As you should know by now, later never
                  comes!

                  If you say that you will start your project when
                  you are FREE, you will never find the 'free' time…because there will
                  always be something else that crops up that you have to do. So, always
                  set a time target for every goal.




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                          Start Setting Your Goals Now!
                             All right! It's time to put what you have learned
                              into action! Grab your pen and start setting some
                               goals that will really help you achieve a more
                               successful, purposeful and fulfilling life.

Set at least 1-2 goals you want to achieve in the different areas of your
life. Remember to make them specific and measurable, with an action
plan and a deadline for each one of them.

Academic and Career Goals
Start off by writing down your academic and
career goals. For example, what grades do you
aim to get? Which college do you want to attend?
What course do you want to study? What position do you
aim to have in class? What is your dream career?



 Goal #1: _______________________________________________________________________________
 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 Action Plan: _______________________________________________________________________________
 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 Goal #2: _______________________________________________________________________________
 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 Action Plan: _______________________________________________________________________________
 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________
 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 Goal #3: _______________________________________________________________________________
 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 Action Plan: _______________________________________________________________________________
 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 ____________________________________________________________________________________




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                  Personal Development Goals
                  What new skills do you want to acquire? What do you want
                  to improve about yourself? For example, do you want to learn
                  public speaking? Master memory skills? Increase your
                  reading speed? Learn to play the guitar? Learn Karate?




                    Goal #1: _______________________________________________________________________________
                    _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                    Action Plan: _______________________________________________________________________________
                    _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                    _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                    _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                    Goal #2: _______________________________________________________________________________
                    _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                    Action Plan: _______________________________________________________________________________
                    _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                    _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                    _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                    Goal #3: _______________________________________________________________________________
                    _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                    Action Plan: _______________________________________________________________________________
                    _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                    _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                    ____________________________________________________________________________________




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Family & Relationship Goals
Do you want to improve your relationship with your parents and siblings?
What can you start doing consistently to help your family? How can you
show your love and care for them? Eg: Offer to help a younger sibling
with homework, or offer to do some grocery shopping for your mum.




 Goal #1: _______________________________________________________________________________
 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 Action Plan: _______________________________________________________________________________
 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 Goal #2: _______________________________________________________________________________
 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 Action Plan: _______________________________________________________________________________
 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 Goal #3: _______________________________________________________________________________
 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 Action Plan: _______________________________________________________________________________
 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 _______________________________________________________________________________________________

 ____________________________________________________________________________________




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                                  Money Goals
                                     If you want to have enough money in the future to
                                      go to college, buy a car or travel the world, then you
                                      should start earning money. Get vacation jobs or save
                                      a certain amount of your allowance. What are some
                                   of your money goals? (Example: to save $20 a month
                  and put it into a bank to earn interest).




                   Goal #1: _______________________________________________________________________________
                   _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                   Action Plan: _______________________________________________________________________________
                   _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                   _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                   _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                   Goal #2: _______________________________________________________________________________
                   _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                   Action Plan: _______________________________________________________________________________
                   _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                   _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                   _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                   Goal #3: _______________________________________________________________________________
                   _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                   Action Plan: _______________________________________________________________________________
                   _______________________________________________________________________________________________
                   _______________________________________________________________________________________________

                   ____________________________________________________________________________________




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                      Health and Sports Goals
                        Finally, do you have any goals to achieve in sports?
                        Do you want to improve your health and fitness
                           in any way? (e.g. do 100 pushups a day? Set a
                             goal for the next physical fitness test? Cut
                             down on deep fried foods and chocolate to
                            get clearer skin?)



Goal #1: _______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Action Plan: _______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Goal #2: _______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Action Plan: _______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Goal #3: _______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

Action Plan: _______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________




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                                                 Designing Your Life Path
                                               Now, let's do something really powerful.
                                      I'm going to show you how you can design your life
                                      path. Your life is just like a journey. You have to first
                                      decide on your destination.

                                      What kind of career and lifestyle do you want? Do
                                      you want to become a teacher or a businessman?
                                      Do you want to live in a bungalow or a flat? Once
                  you decide, you can then plan on what and where you need to study to
                  get there.

                  What Kind of Career Should I Choose in the Future?
                  First, decide on what kind of career you would like to pursue. Many
                  people I know end up in jobs they hate because they never chose their
                  career properly.

                  They chose a career because it seemed
                  popular, or because they followed
                  their friends blindly. Some of
                  my friends went into a certain
                  career because they wanted
                  to follow in their parents'
                  footsteps. It turned out to be
                  the wrong one for them.

                  I bet you would like to be in a job
                  where you can command respect,
                  and where you can also make lots of
                  money. And, of course, you would like to enjoy
                  the work you do, right? So, what is the right career for you? Entrepreneur,
                  doctor, designer, researcher, social worker, salesperson?

                  The answer is that you can become successful and rich in almost ANY
                  career, as long as you become among the BEST in your chosen field. For
                  example, it would be better to be an excellent teacher (a career you love)
                  than just an average doctor (a career you have no interest in).

                  The only way to become the best in something is to have strong interest
                  and passion for it. You must also have the talent and skills and talents
                  that are suited for the job.


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This is why it is so important to know your strengths and weaknesses,
your likes and dislikes. For example, if you love meeting and talking to
people, then you would do a great job as a journalist, a salesperson or a
teacher. If you got a job as a computer engineer, you would probably hate
your job and you would be mediocre at it.

Write Down Your Interests and Strengths
So, what are your interests and strengths? What subjects do you love and
find easy to learn? What are your hobbies? What do your friends say
you are good at?

Go ahead and write down all the things you love to do and excel in.
(Example: computers, Math, Science, solving problems, drawing, making
up stories, making others laugh, talking, debating, teaching, reading,
helping others, sports, traveling, adventure, writing, organizing activities,
solving puzzles etc…)

  I Love/Am Great in...




List of Career Options
Once you know your passion(s) and strengths, look at the entire list of
possible career interest areas below, and see which one best suits you.
For example, if you love gaming or working on computers, think of
becoming a software programmer.

Career Interest Areas and Job Types

 Area 1        : Architecture & Construction
 Interested in : Designing and constructing buildings and structures
 Jobs include : Architect, Civil Engineer, Drafter,
                 Electrical Engineer etc…


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                  Area 2        : Arts & Communication
                  Interested in : Creatively expressing your feelings and ideas, performing
                                  or communicating with others
                  Jobs include : Journalist, Public Relations, Specialist, Graphic Designer,
                                  Photographer, Film Maker etc…

                  Area 3        : Business & Administration
                  Interested in : Building and making businesses or organizations
                                  run smoothly. Like to work with and manage projects
                                  and people.
                  Jobs include : Entrepreneur, Manager, Accountant, Administrator etc…

                  Area 4        : Education and Training
                  Interested in : Helping other people learn
                  Jobs include : Lecturer, Principal, Teacher, Trainer,
                                  Teaching Assistant etc…

                  Area 5        : Finance, Banking & Insurance
                  Interested in : Helping people make money and manage their wealth
                  Jobs          : Insurance Agent, Stock Broker, Stock Trader, Banker etc…

                  Area 6        : Government & Public Administration
                  Interested in : Serving the country and the needs of the public
                  Jobs          : Minister, Military Personnel, Government Relations,
                                  Taxman etc…

                  Area 7        : Health Sciences
                  Interested in : Helping people and animals stay healthy
                  Jobs          : Doctor, Veternarian, Nurse, Physical Therapist,
                                  Psychiatrist etc…

                  Area 8        : Hospitality & Tourism
                  Interested in : Serving other people so they can enjoy themselves
                  Jobs          : Hotel Manager, Banquet Manager, Tour Guide, Waiter,
                                  Bartender etc…

                  Area 9        : Informational Technology
                  Interested in : Developing and managing computer information systems
                  Jobs          : Web developer, Software Developer, Systems Analyst etc…

                  Area 10       : Law and Public Safety
                  Interested in : Protecting people and upholding justice
                  Jobs          : Lawyer, Judge, Police Officer etc…


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 Area 11       : Manufacturing
 Interested in : Using machines and tools to turn raw materials into
                 finished products
 Jobs          : Plant Engineer, Maintenance Manager,
                 Quality Control Manager

 Area 12       : Sales and Service
 Interested in : Meeting people and persuading them to buy things
 Jobs          : Sales Manager, Sales Promoter,
                 Customer Service Officer etc…

 Area 13       : Scientific Research, Engineering & Mathematics
 Interested in : Discovering and analyzing information about the
                 natural world. Applying scientific research into
                 solving world problems
 Jobs          : Chemist, Biologist, Applications Scientist,
                 Geoscientist etc…

 Area 14       : Transportation, Distribution & Logistics
 Interested in : Operations that move people or materials.
 Jobs          : Pilot, Logistics Manager, Truck Driver etc…

 Area 15       : Human Services
 Interested in : Improving people's social, mental, emotional or spiritual
                 well-being.
 Jobs          : Psychologist, Social Worker, Counselor etc…


What Kind of Lifestyle Do I Want to Have?
The next thing you may want to think about is the kind of lifestyle you
want to have.

In the future, what kind of home do you want to live in? What kind of car
do you want to drive? This tells you how much you need to earn and the
job level you need to reach.

Let's look at this one more time. If you wanted to have a working class
lifestyle, this is how much it would cost you a month:




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                                        ifestyle                                 rnment
                    Working Class L estyle, you would live in a 3-room gove
                                        s lif                                   n)
                    (In a Working Clas          port. Assume you
                                                                 have 2 childre
                    flat an d take public trans
                                                                          onthly Cost
                                                                                  M
                                                                                       $600
                                         0K)                                            $50
                     3-Room HDB ($15                                                   $300
                     Utilities                                                         $200
                     Groceries                                                          $100
                     Telecoms                                                           $150
                      Insurance                                                         $250
                                         )
                      Short holiday ($2k t                                               $400
                      Shopping &   eating ou                 , bus)
                                          ol fees, allowance                     $2,050 per month
                       Children x 2 (scho
                       Total                                                                 $1,000+
                                                                       ve to earn at least
                                         /husband would ha
                       You and your wife
                       a month


                  If you pitched to have a lower middle-income lifestyle, this is how much
                  it would cost you a month:


                                     come Lifestyle                       or 5 room
                    Lower Middle In                     would live in a 4
                                      me lifestyle, you                  and 2 small
                    (In a middle-inco                  car, have a maid
                    government flat  own a mid-price
                    children)                                          onthly Cost
                                                                                 M
                                                                                     $1200
                                         0K)                                          $800
                     4-Room HDB ($30                                                  $600
                     Toyota  Camry ($60K)                         e, Road tax)
                                             rk, petrol, insuranc                      $100
                     Ca r Payments (Car pa
                                                                                       $500
                     Utilities                                                         $300
                      Groceries                                                        $300
                      Telecom                                                           $416
                      Insurance                                                         $500
                                         5k)
                      Annual holiday ($                                                 $600
                      Clothes & dini  ng
                                                                                        $800
                       Maid                                    , bus)
                                           on, fees, allowance                   $6,11 6 per month
                       Children x 2 (tuiti
                       Total                                                                 t $3,000+
                                            /husband would            have to earn at leas
                          You and your wife
                          each a month


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This is how much an Upper-Middle Income Lifestyle would cost.



                     come Lifestyle                      a 4 or 5
 Upperer Middle In come lifestyle, you would live in
 (In an upper m iddle-in               r, have a maid and 2 small
                     , own a luxury ca
 ro om condominium
 children)                                        Monthly Cost
                                                         $4,300
              ndo ($1.3m)                                $2,000
  4-Room Co               )x1
                       0K                                $1,000
  BMW 5-Series ($17 park, petrol, insurance, Road tax)     $200
  Car Payments x   1 (Car
                                                          $1,000
  Utilities                                                $500
   Groceries                                               $600
   Telecom                                                  $600
   Insuranc e
                      8k)                                  $1000
   Annual holiday ($                                        $600
   Clothes & dining
                                                           $1,000
    Maid                                     bus)
                         n, fees, allowance,         $12,800 per month
    Children x 2 (Tuitio
    Total                                                         ,400+
                                                           least $6
                      /husband wou    ld have to earn at
    You and your wife
    each a month




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                  If you want to live a rich life in your future, look at the monthly
                  bill today!


                   Rich Income Life
                                      style                              alow or luxury
                                                      ould live in a bung
                   (For a rich income lifestyle, you w o maids and 2 small children)
                                      xury cars, have tw
                   condo, own two lu                                    Monthly Cost
                                                                           $10,000
                                ngalow ($3m)                                $5,000
                    Semi-D/ Bu                )x2
                                          0K                                $2,000
                    BMW 7-Series ($25 park, petrol, insurance, Road tax)     $500
                    Car Payments x   2 (Car
                                                                            $2,000
                    Utilities
                                                                             $1000
                     Groceries
                                                                             $1000
                     Telecom                                                  $800
                     Insuranc e
                                        10k)                                 $2000
                     Annual holiday ($
                                                                             $1,200
                     Clothes & dining
                              2                                               $1,600
                      Maid x                                  , bus)
                                          on, fees, allowance             7,100 per month
                      Children x 2 (tuiti                              $2
                      Total                                                           600+
                                                                         least $13,
                                                      ld have to earn at
                      You and your   wife/husband wou                       nsive to live
                                                         is extremely expe
                      a month each.  You can see that it
                      the rich life.


                  So, have you decided what kind of lifestyle you want to enjoy? If you
                  don't decide what you want, you will not know what kind of job you will
                  need to get in the future.

                  For example, if you can be content with a lower-middle income lifestyle,
                  then being a beauty therapist or a nurse is fine. If you want a rich-income
                  lifestyle, you would have to be a top doctor or a businessperson.

                  The Corporate Ladder
                  Once you know the kind of lifestyle you want, then you can set a goal for
                  the job level you want to achieve in the future.

                  Just like in a computer game, there are many levels of jobs when you
                  play the corporate game in a company. Remember that we talked about
                  this in chapter 5? Let's look at it again.




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                                Chief
                               Executive
                              Earn $10,000 to
                              Millions/month

                               Directors
                        Earn $6,000-$100,000/month


                               Managers
                         Earn $3,000-$6,000/month


                               Executives
                         Earn $2,000-$3,000/month

                        Blue collar Workers
                          Earn $800-$1,200/month


It's a Competition to the Top!
If you don't get a good education, you will be stuck at the first level. When
you finish studying in the polytechnic or the university, you will usually
start at the 'executive level'. From there, you have to work hard to get to
the very top!

What Route Do I Take?                                     Primary School

Once you know where you want to go, you need
to design a route that will take you there!
                                                          Secondary/High
If you are in Primary school now, you need to plan            School
which secondary school you would like to go to.

After secondary school, you have a choice of going        Pre-University/
to a polytechnic or a junior college. Following that,     Junior College/
you need to decide which university to attend, and          Polytechnic
what level you would like to attain.

Let's look at the different choices. Although I give        University/
examples from Singapore, find out the options you            College
have in your home country.

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                  Quick Tips on Secondary (High) Schools
                              Check out all the different kinds of secondary schools
                               in your country and see which one best suits your
                                goals. Some specialize in Science courses, while
                                others specialize in Arts or Sports.

                                        For example, in Singapore, you should aim
                                       to get into NUS High School if you want to
                                   become a scientist or mathematician. You can
                                 enroll in School of the Arts (SOTA) if you want
                                 to pursue a career in music or art.

                    Mainstream schools offer the Cambridge ‘O’ Level examinations
                    after four years of study. Some schools offer the International
                    Baccalaureate (IB) Diploma after 6 years of study, and with an
                    IB you can go directly to university. Some schools offer the
                    Integrated Programme (IP), where you skip ‘O’ levels and go
                    directly to junior college to take ‘A’ Levels.




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Quick Tips on Pre-University
  At the pre-university level, you have a
  choice of going to a polytechnic or a junior
  college. Here are key considerations:

  Polytechnic
  ✐ You get to study courses that prepare you for
     vocational work straight away. You learn stuff such as
     engineering, computer science, design, business etc…
  ✐ It is a three-year course that gets you a diploma
  ✐ With a diploma, you can get an executive level job, or use it
     to enter a university
  ✐ The downside is that local universities usually allocate only
     10-20% of their places to diploma holders. The rest of the places
     are given to 'A' level holders from junior college

  Junior College
  ✐ It is a two-year course that gets you an 'A' Level certificate
  ✐ With a good 'A' level certificate, you get first priority to enter
     a top university
  ✐ Because 'A' levels prepare you for university and not for
     work, the stuff you learn may not be work related. Courses
     include sciences, humanities and math
  ✐ The downside is that if you don't enter a university, an 'A' level
     certificate is pretty useless.



Quick Tips on University
                   At the university level, there are a few levels of
                   degrees you can complete. You have the…
                       Bachelors Degree (2-3 years)
                       Honours Degree (extra 1 year)
                       Masters Degree (extra 2-3 years)
                       Doctorate Degree (PhD) (extra 2-7 years)

                   Depending on your dream career, you need to choose
                   your course of study. You can study medicine,
                   science, business, computer science, architecture,
                   arts, law, accountancy, engineering etc…



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                  You can enroll in the national (local) universities, private colleges and
                  overseas universities. Here are the facts…

                     National Universities
                     • Singapore national universities - the National University of
                       Singapore (NUS), Nanyang Technological University
                       (NTU) and Singapore Management University (SMU) - are
                       ranked among the best in the world.
                     • The great thing about going to a local university is that it is the
                       cheapest, since the government subsidizes 40% of the fees.
                     • A bachelor's degree costs about $30,000.
                     • Very prestigious, but not easy to get in. You need to be among
                       the top 10-15% of students in the country to get in!

                     Private Colleges
                     • You also have the option of attending a private college that
                       offers degree courses from affiliated overseas universities.
                     • These are usually the easiest to enter, but may not be as
                       prestigious (or marketable) as the local universities or top
                       colleges overseas.
                     • A bachelor's degree costs about $40,000- $60,000

                     Top Overseas Colleges
                     • This option is the toughest to enter, the most expensive, and
                       also the most prestigious.
                     • An overseas degree could cost anywhere from US$100,000
                       to US$400,000, so, unless you are from a rich family, the
                       best option would be to get a scholarship
                     • Top US colleges include Harvard, Princeton, MIT, Stanford
                       and Yale. Top UK colleges include LSE, Oxford and
                       Cambridge.




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Once you have all these facts, you can start planning a road map for your
life. For example, here is how I planned my life path…


  Ping Yi Secondary Scho
                           ol                          speaking
 - 4 years                              • Learn public
                                                       disco business
 - Score 8'A's for 'O' Leve
                            ls          • Start mobile
                                                          r event
 - Age 16                                 charge $300 pe


 Victoria Junior College                  • Give part-tim
                                                          e tuit
 - 2 years, Study science str
                             eam            earn $200 a mon ion and
                    'A' Levels           • Make $1000        th
 - Score 6'A's for                                       a month from
 - Age 18                                  mobile disco bu
                                        • Make $1000 siness
                                                        a month giving
                                          motivational ta
                                                         lks to students
  National Service (Army)
 - 2.5 years, Age 21
 - Attend Officer Cadet Sc
                          hool
 - Achieve rank of Lieuten
                           ant

                                         • Launch my fi
National University of                                   rst
                                         • Re-start my M book
Singapore                                                 obile Disco
                                           Business
- 3 years, Age 24                       • Start Adam K
- Attain Bachelor of                                     hoo
                                          Associates traini &
  Business Administration                                  ng company
  (Honours)

                                                            illion by age
      • Earn profits of $10,000            • Achieve $1 m
                                 a                            ty and stock
        month from my 2 business             26 from proper
                                   es
        and book                              investments
                                                               $20,000 a
     • Invest in stocks.                    • Earn profits of 2 businesses
     • Buy first property at ag
                                e 24           month from my
                                               and books

                 Drawing Your Life Path

                 Now, here is your turn to have fun drawing your life path.
                 Take at least 1 hour of uninterrupted time to plan your
                 life. You may have to log into the Internet to do lots
                 of research to help you plan. Go ahead and do it NOW.

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                  Have you got all your goals planned out? Great! Let's move on to the next
                  exciting chapter.




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CHAPTER   EIGHT
FRIENDS MAKE YOU OR
THEY BREAK YOU
  CHAPTER
 EIGHT         Friends Make You or
               They Break You
We all need friends. It's impossible to survive in this world without them.
Friends are there to share our happy moments and to help us get through
the most difficult times in our lives.

To Be Happy and Successful, We All Need Good Friends




Although some people may claim that they don't need any friends,
the truth is that we can never be happy if we are all alone. Achieving
all the success in the world means nothing, unless you have people
you care about, and who care about you, to share it with.

Imagine being able to score the best grades, have the highest IQ,
win all the sports medals, drive the sleekest car, and yet not having
a single friend who genuinely likes you for who you are. All that
success would not mean much, would it?

If you find it difficult to make friends, or to find a true friend, don't
worry. When I was in school, there were times when I faced these
very same problems. In this chapter, you are going to learn how to
make friends, how to develop true friendships that last, and how to
become someone whom everyone respects and likes.



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                       The Most Important Decision of Your Life
                       Do you want to be a very happy and successful person now and in the
                       future? I am sure you do.

                       Well, there is one very important decision you need to make that will
                       determine whether you will end up happy or miserable, a success or a
                       failure, a winner or a loser.

                       The decision is…the kind of friends you choose to mix around with.

                       Friends Make You or They Break You
                       That's right! The kind of friends you choose to hang around with will
                       affect the choices you make everyday, the way you behave, and the results
                       that you will get.




                           EMO                   JOCK              GLAM GIRL            NERD

                       Friends will affect the big decisions you need to make, not just the little
                       everyday ones such as WHERE to hang out.

                       Hang around happy people, and you will become happy.
                       Hang around miserable people, and you will become miserable.

                       Hang around winners and you will become a winner.
                       Hand around people with a loser attitude, and you will become a loser.

                       The right friends will help make you successful, whereas the wrong friends
                       can ruin your life.

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             Jin Zhu Zhe Chi, Jin Mo Zhe Hei

   Old Chinese Proverb that says 'He who stays near
    Vermillion gets stained red. He who stays near
                ink gets stained black’

Friends: They Affect Us and Infect Us
How come friends have such a powerful influence over our lives? It's
because we tend to become like the people
we spend most of our time with.

All of us want to be well liked by
the people around, and to 'fit in'. To
be accepted, we usually have to
think and behave the way they do.
If we are different, we seem weird
and get rejected.

I remember that back in secondary
one, the boys I used to hang around
with were kids who smoked,
spent all their time gaming,
and had no interest in studies.
After spending so much time
with them, it became 'NORMAL' to smoke, gamble and spout vulgarities.

In that group, it was 'normal' to fail your tests. If you studied and got
'A's, you were considered a weirdo, and everyone would tease you! If
you told them that your aim was to get into university, they would look
at you as if you had gone 'nuts'. Soon enough, I became like them.

When I decided to change my life, one major thing that supported my
new changes and stopped me from going back to my old habits were
the new friends I started mixing around with. I began spending time with
these new friends who were positive, confident and success-oriented.

These new friends were competitive, hardworking, and set high standards
for their future. They never wasted their time on useless activities.


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                       Whenever we hung out, they would discuss
                       the latest topics they had learned in school,
                       and their big ambitions for the
                       future. They talked about going
                       to top universities, becoming
                       bankers, doctors, inventors,
                       entrepreneurs and future leaders.

                       In this new group, it was
                       NORMAL to study hard and
                       get good grades. It was
                       normal to excel. If you
                       failed your tests, you
                       were considered a dumb
                       slacker. If you lit a cigarette or used vulgarities, they would look at
                       you as if you were some kind of 'low life form'.

                       Being around them, I felt uncomfortable smoking. So I stopped. Sure
                       enough, hanging around with these new friends boosted and strengthened
                       my resolve to reach for the goals I had set immediately after the teen
                       motivational camp.

                                            Reality Check:
                                            Are Your Friends Helping You to Succeed, or to Fail?
                                            If you really want to change yourself for the better,
                                            you need to do an honest reality check on the friends
                                            you hang out with.

                                        Write down the names of the eight people you spend
                       most of your time with. Think about who they are and put their names in
                       the space below.

                       Friend #1   ____________________________________________ ❒
                       Friend #2   ____________________________________________ ❒

                       Friend #3   ____________________________________________ ❒

                       Friend #4   ____________________________________________ ❒

                       Friend #5   ____________________________________________ ❒

                       Friend #6   ____________________________________________ ❒

                       Friend #7   ____________________________________________ ❒

                       Friend #8   ____________________________________________ ❒



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Are your friends positive-minded, motivated and ambitious? When you
are around them, do they encourage and inspire you to become better? If
the answer is 'Yes', put a tick next to their name.

Or…. Are your friends negative-thinkers, lazy and aimless? When
you are around them, do they bring out the worst in you? Do they
make you act is a way that makes you feel uncomfortable? If this is true,
put a cross next to their name. Do you have more empowering friends,
or dis-empowering friends?

To Change Yourself, You Must Also Change Your Friends
If you have discovered that the people around you are holding you back,
don't blame yourself. In the past, you may not have had the chance to
choose the right friends. Often times, we become friends with the people
who happen to be around us, or whoever is willing to accept us.

However, you can now choose to make friends with people who will help
you succeed, and spend less time with those who will not help you.

Is it easy to change your friends? I can tell you the answer is 'no'. It takes
a lot of courage and self-confidence. I managed to do it and I believe that
YOU can do it too! When you really want to succeed in life, you must
be willing to pay the price.

Be an Eagle and Not a Sheep
After I attended a motivational workshop and
decided to change myself,
I started behaving very
differently.

I started to talk positively,
pay attention in class,
and set big goals. I stopped
hanging out and wasting time.

How do you think my close friends
reacted? They thought that I had become
a real weirdo. They made sarcastic comments such as, 'Wah! So
hardworking eh?' and kept trying to persuade me to go back to my
old habits. When I started to get 'A's for tests, they would laugh and
make snide remarks.


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                       After a while, they stopped talking to me and made me feel uncomfortable
                       around them. Was it difficult for me? You bet! I started to feel lonely and
                       rejected. I had no more friends in school!

                       But I knew, deep inside, that if I wanted to achieve my goal of becoming
                       someone successful, I had to dare to be different. After all, it is the minority
                       who succeed, and the majority who end up average.

                       The good news is that I began making new friends from other schools
                       and from other outside activities I started to get involved in. These new
                       friends were also ambitious and self-motivated and they helped push
                       myself to become better and better.

                       Beware of Crabs!
                       Here's an interesting fact about
                       crabs. When you place a crab in a
                       bucket, you have to tie up its claws,
                       or else it will be able to climb out and
                       escape.

                       However, if you were to put a few crabs
                       in a bucket, they would not be able to climb
                       out and escape, not even if their claws were not tied up.

                       How come? The funny thing about crabs is that the moment one crab
                       tries to climb out of the bucket, the others would hold onto it and pull
                       it back down. In the end, none of the crabs gets a chance to escape, and
                       they die together.

                       Be careful! Sometimes negative friends can hold us back from success,
                       just like these crabs. If you decide to change for the better, sometimes
                       your friends will try to pull you down. They may discourage you, make
                       fun of you, or influence you to go back to your old ways.

                       You can either choose to pull them up with you, or let go of them. After
                       you escape you will make new friends.

                       Making New Friends Can Be Scary
                       I admit that making friends isn't always easy. It can be quite a scary
                       experience sometimes. One of the reasons why we may find it difficult
                       to make friends is that we are afraid of how others will judge us. This is


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especially so when we want to get to know someone who appears a lot
more successful, smarter or cooler-looking.

We tell ourselves things such as, 'Why would they want to be my friends?
What would they think about me? What if they ignore me? What if they
reject me? What if they laugh at me? Am I good enough?' These fears
stop us from going out and starting new
friendships with others.




Have you ever had
this experience?
You are at a party
or a new school
and you see a
really hot girl,
or a cool bunch
of guys whom
you want to hook
up with. However, you fear that they may reject you.

So you don't go up and say 'Hi'. In fact, you may even avoid eye contact
when they look at you. You dare not smile because you're afraid they
might not smile back, making you look dumb. In the end, you never get
the chance to make friends with them.

The Big Secret of Making Friends
Let me tell you a big secret that will give you the courage to make friends
more easily. The secret I discovered is that whenever you are scared of
being rejected by someone, that person is just as scared as you are! This
is even true of people who seem to be so cool, smart or successful.



                  Are You Scared of Others?
                They Are Just As Scared of You!


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                       Many teens may look cool and confident on the outside, but on the
                       inside they too are afraid of being judged and rejected. They too have
                       self-doubts. So, while you may think they are unapproachable, they too
                       think that you are unapproachable, since you don't say hi or smile at them.

                       It always takes someone to take the first step to break the ice. To be
                       successful in life and make the right friends, you must dare to take the
                       first step. I can tell you that when you make the attempt to be friends with
                       someone, 99% of the time that person will be friendly to you.



                                           Someone Must Always
                                             Take the First Step
                                         Take the First Step to Make
                                              the Right Friends

                       What If Someone Rejects You?
                       Is it possible that somebody may one day ignore you or reject you? Of
                       course! It has happened to me at a party where you would expect everyone
                       to be friendly. I smiled and greeted this guy, and he did not smile back.
                       In fact, he just stared at me!!!

                       If this ever happens to you, don't feel bad about it. There is NOTHING
                       wrong with you. This shows that there is something wrong with that
                       person. That person is probably selfish, rude and arrogant, and you are
                       better off not knowing him/her at all.

                       The Most Successful & Confident People Are Usually the Nicest
                       What I have also found is that the most confident and successful people
                       in the world are usually the most humble, friendly and approachable. I
                       remember when I first met Tony Buzan, the inventor of Mind Maps.

                       Tony is the world's most famous learning expert, and the author of more
                       than 80 books. People pay thousands of dollars to hear him speak for just
                       a few hours, and he is someone I highly respect.

                       When I wrote my first book, 'I Am Gifted, So Are You!', I thought it
                       would be fantastic if Tony Buzan could endorse it and write the foreword.
                       Then I thought to myself, 'Why would Tony Buzan want to endorse my

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   They Break
book? He is a famous big shot and I am just an unknown student from
the tiny island of Singapore'. I was so afraid that he would laugh at my
stupid idea.

If You Don't Take the First Step, You Will Never Have Opportunities.
Then, I learned that to succeed in life, you have got to take the first step.
You cannot let your fears stop you. If I don't take action, I will never
know the outcome, and I will regret it for the rest of my life.

So, I wrote an email to Tony Buzan in 1997, when I was a 23-year-old
undergraduate. To my surprise, he not only agreed to write the foreword
for my book, but he also invited me to meet up with him as he was coming
to Singapore. When I met up with Mr Buzan, I was most surprised to find
that this highly successful multi-millionaire was extremely humble and
friendly. He invited me for dinner with his friends and gave me great
advice, advice that I have used to this day.

On the other hand, I have found that snobbish and arrogant people may
appear to be successful and confident, but they actually have little
confidence in themselves. They act that way because they are scared of
exposing their weakness. So, don't bother with them!

The World is Like a Mirror
The world is like a giant
mirror. Whatever you give
out is reflected back. When
you are open and friendly to
people, they will tend to be
open and friendly to you.

Haven't you noticed that
smiles are very infectious? When you smile at someone, that person will
always tend to smile back (again, there will be that 10% of people
who don't smile back - don't worry about them. They have got a problem
with themselves). When someone smiles at you, don't you tend to
smile back as well?

When you are open, honest and trustworthy, others will be the same
to you. Similarly, when you are distrustful, you will tend to attract
distrustful people. So, if you want the people around you to be nicer and
friendlier, start with YOURSELF!


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                       How to Start a Conversation & Make People Like You
                       Everybody wants to be well liked by the people around him/her and
                       I'm sure you do too. I know some people who are really smart, confident
                       and talented, but the way they talk and behave puts people off. In the end,
                       no one likes them. Have you ever met people like that in school?

                       Well, no matter how great you are, you will never succeed in anything
                       unless you learn how to get others to like you and to support you! No
                       matter how smart and confident Barack Obama was, he would have never
                       become the president of the United States had he not known how to get
                       the majority of Americans to like him and to vote for him.

                       What Does It Take to Be Well Liked?
                       Can anybody learn to be well liked by others? Of course!

                       Must you be born
                       good looking, smart
                       or successful to be
                       popular? Not at all!
                       Having a personality
                       that makes people like
                       you is something that
                       anyone can have. It
                       is not something you
                       are born with, but
                       something you can learn and develop.

                       Before I share with you the secrets of
                       how to become likeable, I want to ask you to think of all the people who
                       you do not like. Think of the people who put you off, irritate you, or even
                       make you angry. I am sure a few names will come to mind. In the space
                       below, write down all the things you don't like about them. What did they
                       say or do that put you off?

                         I don’t like people who...




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Below are the things that put most people off. Do they match any in
your list?

I Don't Like People Who…
                                                                     me
                                                       and not about
                                        out themselves
                      ey care only ab
     are selfish. Th me
                       g
     keep criticizin               I talk
     don't real  ly listen when t
                      they ar  e righ
      always think                  y opinions
      d on't want   to listen to m
                          out themselves
      keep talking ab moody
                         d
       are grumpy an
       make use of     me                    granted
                            d take me for
       are   ungrateful an d others
                         me an
        like to blame
        show off
         are bossy
                           ing
         keep complain e on many things
                           m
          disagree with y (from me)
          act to o differentl               t
                           s and dishones
          are pretentiou
                           e
           may betray m rently behind my back
           talk an d act diffe

Now you know exactly what NOT to do if you want to be liked by others.
Do you do any of these things without realizing it? If you do, then make
the effort to stop doing things that put people off.

Now, I want you to think of people who you really like, admire, respect
and love. It could be your teacher, friend, parent, or a role model. What
is it they do or say that makes you like them?

 I like people who:




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                       Now, let's compare your list to what other people say. When I ask people
                       want they like about their friends, they say:

                       I Like People Who…
                                                                     elf
                                                    good about mys
                                     Make me feel
                                                      sts and hobbies
                                     Share my intere ay I do
                                                      w
                                     Think the same re about how I feel
                                     Understan   d and ca                gs
                                                         ions and feelin
                                      L isten to my opin lpful
                                                      d he
                                      Are friendly an
                                      Look out fo  r me                              es
                                                                    ng difficult tim
                                      Are there to  support me duri
                                       Make me laugh
                                                       who I am
                                       Accept me for
                                       Appreciate me
                                        Are cheerful


                       Is it similar to what you also like in your friends? I believe so. So, if you
                       like these traits in other people, take on these traits yourself, and others
                       will like you. These are traits that anyone can adopt. All it takes is
                       awareness and effort.

                       5 Powerful Ways to Win Friends
                       Now, let me share with you the 5 most powerful ways to win friends.

                       Strategy #1 Smile!

                       As simple as it seems, smiling makes you a hundred times more
                       friendly and approachable. When you smile,
                       you appear to be confident and happy to see
                       people.

                       Smiling gives off a positive energy that
                       makes people feel good inside, and makes
                       them smile back. People love to be around
                       cheerful people who give off positive energy.
                       Don't you?




              You or
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Strategy #2 Learn to Listen

Many people think that you need to be great at
talking to be popular. In fact, it is more important
to be a good listener. This is why God gave us two
ears and only one mouth.

While it sounds simple, many people actually do
not know how to listen. Have you ever spoken to
some people and found that they kept interrupting you? Or they did not
seem to be paying attention, they were playing with their mobile phone
or looking elsewhere, even as you were speaking and looking at them? I
bet you felt irritated and angry, right?

Have you also met people who keep talking on and on, and didn't give
you a chance to speak? I personally dislike people like that. So, while it
is great to share your ideas and speak up, it is even more important to
give others a chance to talk and to really give them your fullest attention.

When we listen with full attention, we are showing our friends that we
care about how they think and how they feel.



                                            .
                great     listening tips…
  Here are some
                    ight Question
                                       s                                  rtant.
  • Ask the R                                              them feel impo
                      lk about them     selves! It makes about themselves
  People love to ta that will allow them to talk                             t to
                        s                                    a chance to ge
   So, ask question oughts. This also gives you 'What are your
                     r th                             s such as,
   or express thei                 . Ask question                      t kind of
   know th    em much better ink of the new teacher?', 'Wha
                       t do you th
    hobbies?', 'Wha ?' etc…
                       ke
    music do you li
                                                                                 ill
                      Eye Contact                              An important sk
     • Maintain                              ws to the soul.                      at
                         es are the windo n they speak. It tells them th
     They say the ey              the eye whe
                        ople in
      is to look at pe
      you are foll  owing them.
                                                   ds
                              Nods and Wor listen, and use words such
            Respond with                            ey
       •                        nod along as th kay' etc…
       Goo   d listeners also                     e', 'o
                              ', 'really?', 'I se
        as, 'wow!', 'hmmm


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                                                           Strategy #3 Find Similarities

                                                        People always like to hang out with
                                                     people who are like themselves. I am sure
                                                  you feel very comfortable with friends who
                                               share your taste in music, books, games, hobbies,
                                                movies, sports etc…

                                                When I make friends with people, I do my best
                                                to find out what they are really interested in, and
                                                  what are the things we have in common. For
                                            example, if I find out that they love to watch Star Wars
                       movies (which I love myself), I talk all about Star Wars and ask them
                       questions about it. Their faces light up and we create an instant connection.

                       Strategy #4 Respect Others' Thoughts and Feelings

                       Will we always agree with our friends about everything? Of course not!
                       What makes life interesting is that all of us have different opinions.

                       So, when you disagree with what your friends think or say, what do
                       you do? Well, some people like to criticize others just
                       to prove that they are right. They say things such as,
                       'no!', 'you're wrong!', 'that's a stupid idea', 'are you
                       crazy?', 'that's dumb!'

                       How do you feel when people say these things
                       to you? Not too good, right? Nobody likes to
                       be criticized. The important thing is not to do
                       this to other people. When we criticize and
                       insult people, they won't like us very much,
                       even though we may be right!

                       Popular people always respect other people's
                       thoughts and feelings. So, even if some friends
                       say something you disagree with (they may
                       love a song which you think sucks), never criticize their opinions. Instead,
                       just respect their views by hearing them out. Do your best to see the
                       situation from their point of view.

                       When they have finished, just say, 'I see what you are saying. What I
                       think is…' Then tell them what you think. By listening to the different
                       views of others, you not only win their friendship, but you also become
                       a lot more open minded.

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          You Can Never Win An Argument!
    Even if you can argue better and prove the other
  person is wrong, you have just lost that friend's respect
          for you. So, ultimately, you also lose.

Strategy #5 Give Sincere Compliments & Appreciation

                                                     Don't you love
                                                     people who make
                                     you feel good about yourself? Well,
                                  so do other people. We all yearn for
                               appreciation and compliments.

                                 So, if you want to win over the hearts
                                      and minds of those you want as
                                      friends, find opportunities to give
                                    them sincere compliments. They will
                               love you for it. If a friend does well in
                                      a test, congratulate him: 'That was
                                        a great score!' Or tell your friends
                                         how terrific they look with their
                                         new hairstyle (if its true). If they
don't look good, shut up! Giving someone a compliment doesn't cost
us anything, but it means a lot to them.

Dealing with Peer Pressure
Have you ever felt peer pressure? We will all experience it sometimes.
Peer pressure makes us do things that we normally wouldn’t do by
ourselves. When we see others doing something, we feel pressured to
follow. We feel that since everyone is doing
that, it must be okay, so we do it as well. If
we don't do it, we fear getting rejected.




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                       Peer pressure can be good or bad. Peer pressure is good when we are
                       pressured to follow our friends to do beneficial things that we may not
                       have the courage to do by ourselves. When we are around good friends,
                       they will pressure us to be competitive, train hard and excel.

                       However, peer pressure can also make us do really dumb things that we
                       know are not right. We do these things because all our friends are doing
                       them, and it may feel weird not to. Teens everywhere are pressured to…

                       •     Smoke & take drugs
                       •     Get tattoos
                       •     Have sex
                       •     Wear branded clothes
                       •     Hang out and waste time
                       •     Get the latest mobile phones and gaming consoles
                       •     Spend excessive time chatting or gaming online
                       •     Shoplift, vandalize etc…



                           Ben's Story

                           The really scary thing about peer pressure is that with the wrong friends,
                           we can end up doing really dumb things that may ruin our lives. Back
                           in school, I had a classmate named Ben. Ben was a really nice guy and
                           a fun person to be around. He was a 'good brother', who was very loyal
                           to his friends and would do anything for them.

                           The sad thing is that Ben's loyalty led to his downfall when he befriended
                           the wrong teens. Ben started to make friends and hang around some of
                           the problem kids in school. These teens were in gangs, and often got
                           into a lot of trouble.

                           One Monday morning, Ben didn't turn up for school. Everyone thought
                           he was sick, but that afternoon our teacher broke the news that Ben
                           had been arrested for armed burglary. All of us were shocked and could
                           barely believe our ears.

                           ‘Why would Ben do this?’ we wondered. After all, he was from a rich
                           family and had no reason to steal. He was a smart guy who must have
                           known that it was a serious crime. He was a good student who had a
                           great future ahead of him.



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   They Break
 A few months later, when we attended his court trial, we learned that
 the gang of friends he was with decided to break into someone's
 house and rob the place. Although Ben knew it was wrong and did
 not want to do it, peer pressure and his loyalty to his friends made
 him help them that night.

 Although Ben did not steal anything for himself, he was found
 guilty of robbery together with his friends and was sentenced to jail
 for five years! That one night ruined Ben's entire life. That experience
 taught me a great lesson about listening to myself and not just
 blindly following others.



Stick With the Right Friends. Learn to Say 'No'
So, how do you make sure that peer pressure never gets you in
trouble? The most important thing is to
make judgments based on what you know is
right or wrong, and not just based on the
opinions of your friends. Listen to your
conscience and your gut instincts.

If you notice a group of schoolmates behaving
in ways that you know are not right, stay
away from them - no matter how popular
they may be, or how well they may treat
you. By being around them, you run the
risk of being influenced.

The other important skill is to learn to say, 'No!' While we want people
to like us, we need to learn to say 'No' when we know that we are
being pressured to do the wrong thing. Again, learn to listen to your
heart more than to others' opinions about you. You may lose some friends
by saying 'No', but these are friends you are better off without.

Finding and Keeping True Friends
While it may be easy to make friends with lots of people, it is a lot more
difficult to find really true friends. True friends are what we all really
want. I believe it is better to have one true friend than to have a hundred
fake ones.

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                       Before we can find and make true friends, we must first know what it
                       means to have a true friend. So, what does a true friend mean to you?
                       Write down the qualities you think a true friend should have.

                        A True Friend is Someone Who:




                       At the same time, what do you think a fake friend is like? Write down
                       what you think makes someone a false friend.

                        A False Friend is Someone Who:




                       Let’s see what other teens that have done this exercise have said...

                          True Friends Are Those Who
                          • Are happy to see you succeed
                          • Believe in you when others don't
                          • Help you during your toughest times
                          • Are there for you in good and bad times
                          • Are willing to scold you when you need it
                          • Are loyal
                          • Are honest and will tell you the truth even if it hurts
                          • Are willing to make sacrifices for you
                          • Never pressure you against your will
                          • Have your best interest at heart




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Friends Make You
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   They Break
   False Friends Are Those Who
   • Get jealous of your success
   • Are there for you only in good times
   • Run away when things get tough
   • Pretend that everything is okay when it is not
   • Tell you only what you would like to hear
   • Talk behind your back and behave differently when you are
     not around
   • Are only nice to you when they want something
   • Will test your friendship by saying, 'if you are my friend,
     you will…'
   • Are selfish. Have only their own interests at heart
   • Pressure you to do things you are not comfortable with/ know
     will upset your parents


It may be time to ask yourself whether you have more true friends,
or more fake friends. If you want to have true friends, then the solution
is to first be a true friend yourself. Remember you learned earlier that
the world is like a mirror? Act like a true friend and you will attract
true friends into your life.




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CHAPTER   NINE
MAKING PARENTS
OUR PARTNERS
  CHAPTER
 NINE          Making Parents
               Our Partners
Whether we like it or not, our parents will always play a big part in our
lives. They were the first to greet us when we were born, and they will
continue to be there for us for many years to come.

They will be there on your birthdays, New Year and Christmas celebrations.
They will be there when you graduate, when you get married, when you
buy your first home, and they will be there to give you advice and support
when you have your own children. So, you are pretty much stuck with
your mum and dad.

Partners or Enemies: Your Choice
If you get along well with them, you will find that
they can be great partners in your life. They will
be a source of experience, wisdom and support.

However, if you have a bad relationship with
them, then you will always make each other's
lives miserable. They will be like a thorn in your
butt. You will have constant arguments, power struggles and unhappiness.

                            The good news is that you have a choice
                                about whether you want to get along
                                  with your parents or not. In this
                                  chapter, you are going to learn how
                                 to understand your parents better
                                 and how to speak in their language
                                  so they understand you as well.

                                    With the right strategies, you will
                                learn how to get them to trust you
                                 more, and to give you more freedom and
                                     positive encouragement (instead
                                        of nagging & scolding you all
                                       the time).

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                  How Parents Can Drive Us Crazy
                  If you have a close, open and loving relationship with your parents,
                  congratulations! However, most teens I talk to find it difficult to get along
                  with their parents. They find that what their parents do sometimes drives
                  them crazy, and they wish that their mum or dad would get off their backs.

                  What do your parents do that drives you crazy? Here is what other teenagers
                  have to say:


                                   “My parents keep restricting my freedom.
                                       'Don't do this, don't do that.' ”
                     “My mum does things that embarrass me in front of my friends.”
                               “They never seem to be satisfied with what I do.”
                                      “Everything I do is wrong to them.
                                      I never know how to please them.”
                     “My dad keeps comparing me with other people. It's so irritating.”
                                   “Mum keeps nagging like a broken CD.”
                                  “They keep over worrying about nothing.”
                            “My parents are overprotective. Mum is a control freak.
                                            They don't trust me.”
                     “They ask a million questions: 'Have you done your homework?'
                       'Where did you go?' 'What did you learn in school today?' ”
                          “They don't understand me. They think my life is very easy.”
                      “ I feel demoralized when they keep harping on my bad points.”
                             “I just asked my father for money to buy a new game
                                             and he yelled at me.”
                          “They keep nagging at me to study and do my homework.”
                          “They keep pressurizing me to do well. It stresses me out!”
                               “She keeps lecturing me on things I already know.
                                        Treats me as if I were stupid.”


                  Do you have similar experiences and feelings towards your parents?
                  If you do, then it means you have 'normal' parents. Don't worry, most
                  teens face the same problems you do. The good news is that these are
                  problems that can be solved when you learn how to communicate with
                  your folks the right way.

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Why Do Parents Act So Crazy?
When we were much younger,
our parents seemed a lot easier
to live with. They smiled all the
time when they saw us. They gave
us lots of hugs and kisses,
and showered us with praise.
Whenever we saw them, we
would run to them for love and comfort.

Have you found that as you grew older,
you no longer ran to them? Instead, you
started to run away from them and towards your friends. How did this
happen? Most teens find that their parents have changed. They have
become weird and crazy. You know what? Our parents feel the same
way about us too. To them, we have changed into crazy teenagers,
who seem so alien to them.

To help our parents understand us better and treat us the way we
want to be treated, we need to first understand them. We need to
understand why they behave the way they do.

Understanding Your Parents
While it certainly isn't easy being a teenager, being an adult and a parent
comes with much more stress, problems, responsibilities and worries.

As teens, we have the stress of having to get good grades, do well in
CCAs, make and keep good friends, and get along with our parents
and siblings.

Parents not only have the same kind of stress, but they have a lot
more people to worry about. Let's see what the things that worry
your parents are....

  Parents' Worry About a Million Things…
  • Working hard enough so they can get promoted and earn more
  • Earning enough to provide a good life for the family
  • Losing their job if they don't do well
  • Getting retrenched if the company they are working for is not
    doing well


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                  • Meeting their boss's expectations, getting reprimanded or,
                    worse, sacked
                  • Paying for the housing loan every month
                  • Paying for all the bills (water, electricity, insurance, clothes, food,
                    transport, phone bills etc…)
                  • Going broke if they cannot make enough money to pay for
                    everything every month
                  • Health problems and medical bills
                  • Getting snubbed or laughed at by their 'friends' for having no money
                  • Problems in their marriage - mostly issues arising from lack of
                    money (when mum and dad have disagreements, these can lead
                    to quarrels, unhappiness, and even divorce)
                  • Looking after their own parents (your grandparents), especially
                    if they are sickly


                 As you can see, being an adult isn't a bed of roses. Life can be really
                 tough. They have little time to play games, chat on the phone, hang out
                 with friends, and enjoy long school holidays.




                                                                To survive and succeed,
                                                               parents know that it takes
                                                              a positive mindset, hard
                                                             work, and a solid education.
                                                            They know that the better their
                                                            education, the more chance
                                                            they have to get promoted, to
                                                            earn more money, and to have
                                                            a better life.

                 If your parents are having a tough life, they probably have lots of regrets
                 that they did not work harder and get a better education when they
                 were younger. What frustrates them is that they cannot change their
                 past. So they can only hope to give YOU a better life.

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Their Biggest Worry Of All is…YOU
Out of all the worries your parents face, the biggest worry they have is
their children! Why do they worry so much about you?

It's because they love and care about you enormously, often even more
than they love and care for themselves. This love for you gives them
a lot of FEAR.

They FEAR that if you don't work hard and get a good education, you
will not be able to survive in this tough world. You may end up struggling
hard, as they do.

They FEAR that you will make the same mistakes they did.

They FEAR that when
they become old, get
sick and die, and can
no longer
look after
you, you
will not
be able
to earn
enough
money to
have a
good
life.
This FEAR is what makes them behave in a 'crazy' way. This fear
makes them nag, scold, pressurize and control us.

So, whenever they do these things, just know that it is their way of
saying that they love you. It may sound crazy, but it's true.

What Do Our Parents Really Want?
Have you thought about what your parents really want? Whatever your
parents do or say to you, they do those things because they want something.
They don't do them without a reason.

Sometimes it seems that our parents want to…
• Control our lives


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                  •    Take away our fun
                  •    Make our lives miserable (because they are envious)
                  •    Give us a tough time because they had a tough time
                  •    Vent their frustrations on us

                  To be honest, this was what I
                  thought when my dad used to
                  stop me from watching TV,




                                                         stopped me from staying overnight
                                                         at my friend's house, forced me to
                                                         go for tuition and scolded me
                                                         when I got lousy grades.

                  However, after understanding my Dad and speaking to thousands of
                  parents, I discovered what ALL parents really want.

                  Are you ready for the answer?

                  What your parents really want is for you to be HAPPY and SUCCESSFUL
                  in the future. They want to see you live a better life than they do, even
                  if it means making short term sacrifices.

                  They take no joy in giving you problems. In fact, most parents hate to
                  scold and stop their kids from doing what they want to do. When they
                  scold you, they feel your hurt (though they may not show it). When they
                  take away what you like (eg. the computer game), they feel bad (though
                  they may not show it).

                  They do all these things because they know they have to, for your future
                  good. They rather you hate them now and be successful in the future,
                  than be happy with them now, but suffer in the long term.

                  For Parents to Change, We Must Change First
                  Now that we know why our parents act so crazy, does this mean that
                  we should just accept and bear with the situation?

                  The good news is that as you learn the right communication strategies in
                  the next part of the chapter, you will discover that there are ways you can


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change your parents! You can turn negative, grumpy, controlling and
nagging parents into positive, happy, trusting and encouraging parents.

Can this really be done? Yes it can! It begins with first changing yourself.
Let me tell you how I changed my own Dad.

When I was a lot younger, my
dad didn't trust me at all. He
was a control freak who didn't
allow me to stay over at
my friend's house, not
even during the school
holidays. I had to be
home by 9pm everyday,
even during my school
holidays.

I was really envious that
some of my friends could stay over during parties at chalets, but I
couldn't. I felt that it was really unfair. When I asked him why I couldn't
stay over, he would say, 'Why must you stay overnight? You will get into
trouble!' 'Better to come home'.

I just didn't understand why he couldn't trust me. Every time I asked him
to trust me, the answer would always be 'NO'.

One day, I was sharing my predicament with my uncle, who happened
to be a psychologist. ' Can I change my father's attitude towards me?',
I asked. 'Of course', He said. 'But to change your dad, you must first
change yourself'.

                                    At first, I didn't understand what he
                                    meant. Then he told me: 'You teach
                                    your parents how to treat you'. 'If your
                                    dad doesn't trust you, it's because you
                                    taught him not to trust you through
                                    your past actions'. When he asked me
                                    to think of how I have always behaved,
                                    I began to realize it was true.

                                    For example, although my curfew
                                    was 9pm, I never stuck to his rule.
                                    I would always come back after
                                    9.30pm, and I never called to say

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                  I would be late. By doing this, I taught him that I was 'irresponsible'.
                  Although Dad didn't allow me to watch TV before he came home from
                  work, I would secretly watch, then lie that I was doing my homework.
                  However, he would always find out, as he could feel the still-warm TV
                  set when he got home. Again, by doing things behind his back, I taught
                  him that I couldn't be trusted.

                  My uncle then told me: ‘If you want your father to trust you, you have
                  to teach him that you can be trusted by acting in a different way’. So
                  I took his advice and decided to totally change my behaviour. I
                  started coming home early, way before 9pm. When my surprised
                  father asked, 'You back so early?', I would reply, 'Yup. I didn't want
                  to be late. Plus, I wanted to do some studying before sleeping'. The
                  first few times, he had a super shocked look on his face, as if spirits
                  had possessed his son.

                  Not only did I stop watching TV when Dad was out (boy, that took a lot
                  of discipline), but I even made sure I finished all my homework before
                  watching TV at night.

                  Here's the amazing part. A couple of months later, I was out for a party
                  at a friend's place. When I called my Dad to tell him that I was on
                  my way home, he told me that I could stay over and come back first thing
                  in the morning! It had worked!!!

                  My story gets better. After I decided to take my studies seriously and used
                  all the powerful learning strategies, I started getting straight 'A's for my
                  tests. When I started to get good results consistently, my Dad stopped
                  nagging altogether. He never again asked me if I had done my homework
                  or had finished studying.

                  When I was in Secondary three (age 15), I started a mobile disco business
                  with my buddies. During weekends and holidays, we would be out doing
                  shows and I would come back at 2am-3am. My friends asked me how
                  come I had such a lenient Dad who allowed me to be a DJ and come back
                  so late. I knew that because I was able to study on my own and do well,
                  I taught him that I was responsible and could handle my own life.

                  You Teach Your Parents How to Treat You
                  So, I would like to teach you the same powerful lesson that my uncle
                  taught me: you teach your parents how to treat you.



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                                                 ach your
                                 ntrums, you te
       • Whe    n you throw ta dish.
                             chil
          parents you are                               u teach
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        • When yo     u don't follow be trusted.
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           your parents yo                     that you are di
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         • When you lie,                          don't finish
                                all the time and                onsible
         • W  hen you game ach them that you are irresp
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            your work, youlf-discipline.
                     ve no se                                    at you
            and ha                               u teach them th
                            t lo usy results, yo
          • When you geyour life.
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And so on…

So, if you want to change your parents, you must teach them new
things about you. You need to change your actions. So, write down
what you want to teach your parents about yourself and what new
actions you can take.

  I Want to Teach My Parents                        New Actions
  I Am…

  I Am…

  I Am…

  I Am…



A final note is to remember to be patient! Change does not happen
overnight. If you have been behaving the wrong way for many years, it
will take some time for them to believe that your new behaviour is for
real and for good. So hang in there….and I promise you, you'll succeed
in convincing them.




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                  6 Strategies to Make Parents into Partners
                  Imagine if your parents no longer have to nag at you, lecture you, or ask
                  you a million irritating questions. Imagine if Mum and Dad trust you
                  enough to let you do what you want. Wouldn't that be great?

                  Well, I am going to show you 6 powerful strategies you can use to build
                  a powerful relationship with them, and turn them into partners.

                   1     Show Sincere Appreciation

                  Do your parents have the habit of getting angry and scolding you for
                  every little thing? Do they get irritated easily? Sometimes, the reason they
                  act this way is that they feel lousy inside. Parents too have lots of problems
                  that make them stressed and angry.

                  How would you like to be able to say some 'magic words' that would
                  make them feel great inside? When Mum and Dad feel good inside, they
                  will act a lot nicer towards you.

                  This magic phrase is….THANK YOU.

                  As simple as it sounds, the words 'THANK YOU' are very powerful.
                  Parents often feel angry and hurt because they think we don't care about
                  them and take them for granted.

                  There are lots of things our parents do that we take for granted. They…
                     Cook for us
                     Iron our clothes, tidy our room (or pay for a maid to do these chores.)
                     Fetch us to places
                     Pay for our school fees, allowances
                     Buy us toys, games, phones etc…
                     Provide a home, food and clothes for us
                     Give us care and love, and a million other things

                                                                       They are doing all
                                                                       these things not
                                                    because they owe it to us, but because
                                                     they love us. When you start thanking
                                                     them for the things they do for you,
                                                    they will really feel happy and loved.
                                                   They will begin to open their minds to
                                                   understand and listen to you more.


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So, every time they do something for you, thank them for it sincerely. For
example, you could say…

☺    Mum, thank you for cooking me dinner (or for that super restaurant meal).
☺    Dad, I know you are busy, thanks for fetching me to school.
☺    Thanks for looking after me. I really appreciate it.
☺    Even if they scold you, you can say, 'Thanks for caring about me'.

Appreciating our parents doesn't cost us anything, but I can tell you that
it means more to them than all the money they earn at work!

 2    Be Proactive - Do Things Without Being Told

Do you have parents who nag non-stop? My mum was like that. She
would go on and on like a CD skipping a track.

'Have you brushed
your teeth? Why are
you still sitting
there? How come
you haven't moved?'
'Drink more water'.
'Switch off the lights'.
'How many times
do I need to tell you
to switch off the light?'
and on and on…

Is there a way to stop
them from nagging
once and for all?
Yes! The Answer is to become 'PROACTIVE'. To do things without
being told.

Start doing things even before they get a chance to tell you to do them.
Keep thinking ahead: 'What needs to be done? What would Mum/Dad
say?' Then DO IT!

     When you see the lights on in an empty room, switch them off (even
     if you were not the one who left them on)
     Finish all those regular tasks immediately (i.e. finish homework,
     brush your teeth, tidy your room), before doing anything else.
     When you see anything in a mess, clean it up.


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                        When you see Dad/Mum coming home with the groceries, run
                        and give him/her a hand
                        When Mum or Maid has finished cooking, start to lay out the table.

                  Now, let me share with you another magic phrase that will change their
                  attitude towards you. Go up to your folks and use these magic words:

                                    'Is There Anything I Can Do To Help?'
                  After they have recovered from fainting, they will totally change how
                  they look at you and treat you. If you are 'Proactive', they will see you as
                  someone who is 'independent' and 'responsible'. They will start to trust
                  you a lot more as they know you can do things without being told.

                   3     Start Talking First

                                                                      Parents get upset when
                                                                     they see us talking to
                                                           our friends, but not willing to
                                                        open up to them. What makes it
                                                       worse is when we give 'one word'
                                                     answers to their questions: 'Okay'.
                                                         'Nothing'. 'Yes'. 'No'. Do you find
                                                          yourself doing this?

                                                          I can understand that sometimes
                                                     talking too much can get us into trouble.
                                                     Parents may judge us, criticize us,
                                                      and tell us what to do. That can be
                                                           pretty irritating. So, after a while,
                                                         we stop talking.

                  However, when we stop communicating with them, they will think
                  that we are hiding something. That's when they will start acting crazy
                  and ask a million questions.

                  If you want your folks to understand you better and trust you more, take
                  the initiative to communicate with them! When you get home, tell them
                  a bit about your life. Take an interest in them. Ask them, 'Dad, how was
                  your day?'

                  You won't believe how amazing this strategy is. Once you start talking
                  to them, they will start to trust you a lot more. They will also be less


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controlling. By sharing your thoughts and feelings, you will also help
them to understand you a lot more.

 4   Really Listen When They Speak

When your parents tell you stuff, what do you usually do? Although
‘listening’ sounds simple, most teens don't really listen when their parents
are speaking to them. They either…
• Do something else and pretend to listen (e.g. fiddle with the phone).
• Look away.
• Roll their eyes.
• Say, 'I know. I know.'
• Say, 'Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.'

When we pretend to listen, parents can tell. They are not dumb and can
read our body language. What happens if we don't really listen when our
parents talk? They won't bother to listen to us when we talk!

So, if you want them to listen to you, begin first by showing them that
you are listening. At the same time, when you don't listen, they will keep
on nagging.

The next time your parents say something, listen with full attention. Put
away any distractions, give them eye contact and acknowledge by nodding
your head and saying, 'Yes. I understand.' Again, this may sound simple,
but the art of listening is really powerful. It will make your relationship
much stronger.

 5   Show Them You Understand and Play Win-Win

Sometimes parents can do things that may seem unreasonable and unfair.
For example, my father used to disallow me from going out on weekday
nights, and wouldn't allow me to get a
handphone, even though my friends had
one.

Sometimes, parents may…
   Stop us from going out on weeknights
   Stop us from coming home late
   Stop us from wearing certain
   clothes (especially if you are a girl)
   Not be happy when we hang
   around with certain friends.


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                     Stop us from having a girlfriend/ boyfriend
                     Refuse to buy stuff (clothes, computer games, handphones etc…)
                     Turn down our request for more money

                  Our parents grew up in a different time and place (when the dinosaurs
                  roamed the Earth…just kidding!) so you can bet that there will be times
                  when their opinions and ideas will differ from ours. My father freaked
                  out when I started going steady with a girlfriend at age 15.

                  After I finished Junior College, I very much wanted to study
                  Business and become an entrepreneur. My Dad wanted me to study
                  a professional course such as Engineering and get a steady government
                  job. He kept telling me that a general degree was useless and that
                  doing business was too risky.

                  So, what should we do when we get into disagreements with our parents?
                  How can we change their mindsets when they get unreasonable? Well,
                  we have two choices.

                  Choice #1: Argue That We Are Right

                  Most teens choose to argue that they are right and their parents are
                  wrong. They think that by arguing,
                  they can convince their parents to
                  change their minds.
                  “It's not fair!”
                  “Why can't I do this?”
                  “ Everyone else is
                  doing it, why can't I?”

                  The problem with doing
                  this is that the more you
                  argue that you are right,
                  the more defensive your
                  parents will get. When you pick up your sword, they too will pick up their
                  sword and start to duel. The more you go against them, the more they
                  will not give in.

                  When most teens find that they cannot win the argument, they will sulk,
                  roll their eyes, walk away, throw a tantrum and refuse to talk. Doing this
                  only makes the relationship worse. Your parents will think you are
                  rebellious and immature, and it is unlikely they will give in to you.



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Choice #2: Understand Them And Seek A Win-Win Solution

If you want to win your parents over to your way of thinking, seek to
understand them first! When you show you understand them, they will
be more open to understand you.

There is always a good reason for what they
do. Usually, they do certain things because
they are worried or afraid of something.
When you show that you understand their
intention and meet their needs, they will
more willingly give you what you want.

For example, if your parents disallow
you to stay overnight at a chalet or
friend's place, what do you think are
their intentions? What are they worried
about? You can guess that they are
worried you might get in trouble. What they want is for you to be safe.

So, how can you meet their needs and still get what you want? First, tell
them you understand their intentions. Then find a win-win solution where
you can allay their fears and still get what you want.

For example, you could say, 'Mum, I know you may be worried that I
may not sleep and get into trouble. However, I really hope you can trust
me to take care of myself. Would it be okay if I gave you the phone
number of my friend's place, and have my friend's mum talk to you?'

By showing you understand and by being willing to find a way to address
your Mum's fears, there is a higher chance she will let you go. Of course,
this may not always work. If she still insists on not giving you what you
want, avoid showing your anger or unhappiness (although it's very tempting).

Instead, just say okay and tell her you understand. By behaving in a mature
way, she will begin to re-think and there is a much greater chance that
she will begin to trust you/your maturity and give you that chance the
next time.

 6   When You Are Wrong, Apologize!

The final strategy is to learn how to apologize when you are in the wrong.
Whenever your folks reprimand you for a mistake you make, do your best
not to give excuses, blame, argue back or show a black face.

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                  Again, by doing so, you only teach them that you are childish and have
                  not learned from your mistake. Arguing back and denying your mistake
                  will only get them to scold and nag at you even more.

                  Be the bigger person and just say, 'Sorry, I won't do it again'. Apologizing
                  does not mean that you lose and they win. It really takes someone
                  with courage to apologize. Doing so will strengthen their trust in you
                  for the future.



                  Building the Relationship Bank Account
                  The relationship with your parents works just like a bank account. I
                  call this your 'Relationship Bank
                  Account'. The amount of 'money'
                  you have in this account represents
                  the level of trust and confidence
                  your parents have in you.

                  When your account is full, it
                  means your relationship is
                  healthy. However, when your
                  account becomes empty or
                  negative, your parents may start
                  to distrust you. This will lead to
                  fights, quarrels and unhappiness.

                  The way to keep your relationship account full is to make regular 'deposits'.
                  These are things you do that make your relationship with mum and dad
                  stronger and stronger.

                  You make deposits into your account when:

                    ☺ You tell the truth
                    ☺ You do important things without being told
                    ☺ You appreciate them. i.e. 'Say thank you'
                    ☺ You spend time communicating with them
                    ☺ You offer your help
                    ☺ You are polite

                  When you make your account positive with all these deposits, you will
                  find that your parents will trust you more, stop nagging at you, be more
                  willing to listen and give you more freedom.


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However, we may sometimes do things that weaken our relationship
with our parents. These are what I call 'withdrawals'. As the case with a
bank account, the more withdrawals we make, the less we will have in
our relationship account.

You make withdrawals when:

       You are dishonest or lie
       You forget or don't bother to do important things
       You only do things after lots of nagging
       You keep to yourself and close up
       You throw tantrums or sulk
       You are rude or argue back

When your relationship account becomes negative, your parents will have
little or no trust in you. You will start to have lots of problems with them.
They will start to nag at you, scold you, question you or even restrict you.

Start Building Your Account Today
So, if you find that your relationship with your parents is not going too
well right now, then make the choice to change how they feel about you.
Resolve to start building up your relationship account.

Start making more and more deposits, until your account goes from
negative to positive. It may take some time, but with enough determination
you can make your parents give you the trust you deserve.
It's a win-win all the way !




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CHAPTER   TEN
THE BIG SECRET TO
SCORING 'A'S
[PART I]
  CHAPTER
  TEN          The Big Secret to
               Scoring 'A's [Part I]
Can you really score straight 'A's in your examinations and get into
any university faculty of your choice, while still enjoying your life?
If you have been getting average scores such as Cs and Ds for most
of your academic life, you probably think that this would be an
impossible dream.

Unfortunately, most of us find it difficult to motivate ourselves to
actually sit down and study, let alone find the drive to sit through hours
and hours of ploughing through 'boring' content.

                      “I Am Just Not Smart Enough”
                              Has this ever crossed your mind before?
                               Back in Primary school, I used to think
                              the same way myself. I found it difficult
                             to understand and follow up on what my
                            teacher was mumbling about in class. As a
                           result, I spent most of my time playing
                       around in class with my friends, chatting away
                     and doing silly things to pass the time.

As a result, I would walk out of the classroom not understanding or
remembering much of what had been taught. When it came to
homework, I felt really dumb not being able to answer the questions.
After a while, I would simply copy the answers from “smarter” friends
just before handing the assignments in.

When it came close to the examinations, I used to get so overwhelmed
by the amount I had to study that I would procrastinate till the very last
minute. During the times when I did try to read my notes, I would get so
bored that I would either fall asleep or end up in front of my computer
games instead.

During the examinations, I used to get so nervous that I inevitably forgot
whatever what little I had studied. Even if I knew the answer, my

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                      carelessness would hinder me from doing well. No matter how hard I
                      had studied the night before, I would go blank on the actual day. After
                      some time, I simply accepted the fact that I was just not smart enough to
                      do well in school.

                      'A' Students - Are They From A Different Planet?
                      I never really liked those smart students in my
                      class. They were the ones who always had the
                      right answers for the teachers in class. They
                      were the ones who played a lot and did not
                      study much, yet consistently did better than most
                      people in class. We had names for this type of
                      people : “nerd”, “weirdo”, “smart-aleck”, and the
                      list went on and on.

                      Hands up if you do not like these guys. At the same time, how many of
                      us secretly wish that we could be them, play a lot yet do well in school?
                      That would mean having the best of both worlds.

                      Sometimes I wondered if those 'A' students came from another planet.
                      They seemed to be born with superior brains and always had time for
                      other things, such as sports and recreation. They are the ones who get
                      upset when they do not get an 'A', while the others, like us, wonder if we
                      can even pass the next examination.

                      Uncovering the Secrets of 'A' Students
                      I stumbled upon the secret when I started hanging out with these smarter
                      friends of mine. I discovered that these top students were NOT from
                      another planet after all, nor were they born with extraordinary brains.
                      These students who scored straight 'A's were NOT smarter. They just
                      knew how to study in a SMARTER WAY!

                      If you are tired of studying hard and still struggling to get good results,
                      then this chapter is the one for you. Read on to find out how I have used
                      this secret to achieve extraordinary results in school, and how you can do
                      the same.

                      “ I Did Not Study”- The Biggest Lie Ever Told
                      Every time an exam or a test comes around, we usually mug for hours the
                      night before and try our best to cram as much information we can into our

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brains. The next day when we reach school, we usually check out our
“competitors” by asking them if they managed to study the night
before. The usual answer is “Of course not! I did not have time to study!”

                                        Next time you hear some of those
                           'smart' friends say that they did not study for
                         the exams, don't believe them! They are out to
                     fool you. You might wonder to yourself: “They really
                  do not seem to study very much before the examinations,
                   so it must be true.” The actual reason is that top students
                   do not study the way average students do.

                 Average students tend to put off studying until just a few
                 weeks (or days) before the examinations. During the
                 school year, they spend very little time following the
                 lessons or absorbing the information. As a result, they
                 end up cramming the entire year's work (10 months) into
                      a few weeks. It is like taking a year's worth of food
                     and finishing it within one meal. While it seems that
you are studying 'very hard' before the exams, this approach often leads
to high stress and lousy grades.

The Way Average Students Study


Study




                  Studying just before the exam = High Stress   + Lousy grades




          Beginning                                      Exam
          of term                                        date       Time

Top students, on the other hand, take on a much easier and more effective
strategy. They believe that studying for the year-end exams doesn't begin
just a few weeks prior to the “E” day.

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                      Studying actually begins on the first day of school. It is something that
                      is done consistently every single day, before and after the lesson has been
                      taught. By diligently studying a chapter a week, top students finish
                      understanding, remembering and practicing all 20+ chapters by the time
                      the exam draws near. This is why they don't seem to have to study much
                      before the exams, yet brilliantly get straight 'A's!

                      The Way Top Students Study


                      Study




                              Studying consistently throughout the year = Low Stress + Good grades




                                Beginning                                      Exam
                                of term                                        date       Time

                      The SMART Study Formula

                      So how exactly do you study
                      consistently throughout the year
                      and balance studying with enjoying
                      the other aspects of your life?

                      By carefully observing the
                      behaviour and learning the secrets
                      of top students, I have discovered that they
                      all follow a particular formula that allows them
                      to score 'A's easily. Let me now reveal to you
                      the SMART study formula.




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This 'SMART Study Formula' is made up of Six Master Steps:

                       SMART Study Formula
            Master Step 1: Scan the Chapter “Before” the Lesson
          Master Step 2: Search for the Key Words
        Master Step 3: Create Personalized Whole Brain Notes
      Master Step 4: Unleash Your Memory Potential
    Master Step 5: Master Application
 Master Step 6: Revise for High Retention & Recall

Further in this chapter I will show you how you can apply each master
step to your studies to get the results that you want. If you are ready to
score your 'As' the SMART way, then let's begin our journey.

Master Step 1: Scan the Chapter “Before” the Lesson

Does this happen to you in class? Your teacher
starts teaching and initially you can understand
what is being taught. After 10-15 minutes
though, she says something confusing and you
find it hard to follow the lesson. The next thing
you know, you lose concentration and your
mind begins to wonder off to another world.

When you walk out of the class, you have only absorbed up to 10%-20%
of what was being taught. One week later, less than 1% stays in your
brain. As the school year progresses, there are more and more things that
you do not understand. By the time the exams arrive, you find that you
have no time to review all that has been taught. If this is something that
keeps happening to you, do not worry. It is perfectly normal.

So, how do top students understand and remember more than 80%
of what is taught in class, and keep their memory sharp all the way to
the exams?

Scan The Chapter Before the Lesson Begins
The secret is that these smart students scan the chapter before the teacher
begins the lesson. By reading the chapter first, you will find it much easier
to understand and follow as the teacher goes through the lesson.



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                      Instead of taking the information in as the teacher teaches, pre-reading
                      helps to create a framework so that information taught in class is placed
                      within a given structure rather than aimlessly deposited in your brain.

                      It is like watching the trailer before watching the actual movie. It helps
                      to give you associations so that you can follow the storyline better, rather
                      than guessing what the plot could possibly be.

                      Do smart students understand everything when they read the chapter
                      the first time? Of course not! They use the lesson as an opportunity to
                      ask questions about things they are confused about. They keep asking
                      until they understand everything in the chapter. So rather than trying
                      to make sense of what is being taught, these students use the opportunity
                      to LEARN so that they do not need to “study” when they are at
                      home. Through consistent habits, they will be super prepared when
                      the examinations come.

                      How Do You Scan the Chapter?
                      So how do you scan the chapter quickly and effectively? First, read
                      the learning objectives, summary and sample questions (usually
                      found at the end of the chapter). This allows you to focus your attention
                      on the right details.

                      The second step involves
                      reading the sub headings of
                      the chapter. This will give
                      you a general idea of what
                      the chapter is talking about
                      and how the author organizes
                      the information.

                      After you have done this, it is
                      time to actually read the specific words in the chapter. What really
                      helps is to use a pen/pencil to guide your eyes down the page as
                      you read.

                      Using a pen as a guide increases your focus and reading speed. As you
                      read on, jot down ideas, questions and comments. You can then ask
                      these questions later in class and write down your ideas in your notes.




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                         MASTER STEP ONE
                  • Scan the chapter before each lesson
                   • Read the objectives, summary and
                          sample questions first.
                     • Scan through the sub-headings
               • Use a pen to guide your eyes as you read
        • Jot down questions, comments and ideas as you read.

Master Step 2: Search for the Key Words

What if I told you that top students revise 80% LESS than average
students do, and still score 'A's? Imagine having to revise only 1-2
pages per chapter, while your friends have to plough through stacks
and stacks of notes and materials. If you are interested to find out
how to do this, read on.

Smart students know that NOT ALL the words in the textbook or
teacher's notes are important or relevant. In fact, only 20% of the
words give you the information you need to score an 'A'. These are
called 'Key Words'. In most reading, they are usually found as nouns,
verbs, adverbs and adjectives.




   20% Key words                     80% Non-Key words
   Contain all the information       Used to connect Keywords
   needed to score an ‘A’            Contain insignificant info
      - Verbs                           • E.g. is, of, the, at, in, by
      - Nouns
      - Adverbs
      - Adjectives

The remaining 80% of the words in the chapter do not contain any
important information. They are simply there to connect the keywords
into grammatically correct sentences. These include words such as
“is”, “of”, “a”, “the”, ”an” etc.



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                      Let me show you an example. Let's imagine you had to learn this paragraph
                      on “The Brain”. Go ahead and read it now.

                        The Brain
                        For some time, based on numerous research materials, it has been
                        known by many that the human brain can be divided into two separate
                        parts: the left brain and the right brain. It has also been made known
                        that the left brain controls the right side of the body and that the right
                        brain controls the left side of the body.
                        It has also been discovered that when the left brain is severely
                        damaged, it will cause the right side of the body to become paralyzed.
                        Similarly, if the right brain is badly damaged, it will cause the left
                        side of the body to become paralyzed. In other words, damage to
                        one side of the brain will cause the corresponding side of the
                        body to become paralyzed.
                        Total: 127 words


                      As you can see, you had to read a total of 127 words to acquire the
                      information. However, out of the 127 words, you can see that only
                      20% actually give you the information. These are the underlined
                      key words.

                      If fact, just take a look at the keywords I have pulled out below and
                      see if they still give you 100% of the information.

                        The Brain (Key Words Only)
                        human brain divided two parts. left right.
                        left brain controls right side body
                        right brain controls left side.
                        left brain damaged, cause right side body paralyzed.
                        Vice Versa
                        Total: 28 words




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How about the remaining 80%, the non-Key Words? Well, take a look
at them below and you will see that reading these remaining 88 words
gives you zero information!

  The Brain (Non-Key Words Only)
  For some time based on numerous research materials, it has been
  known by many that the can be into separate, the brain and the brain.
  It has also been made known that the of the and that the the of the.
  It has also been discovered that when the is severely, it will the of
  the to become. Similarly, if the is badly, it will cause the of the to
  become. In other words, to one side of the will cause the corresponding
  side of the to become.
  Total: 88 words


Reduce Your Revision Time by 80%!
How can you use this knowledge to make studying faster and easier?
Smart students know that they have to read 100% of the words in the
textbook just once. As they do so, they find and circle the Key Words.

They then just use the 20% Key Words to make notes (that's the next
master step). This way, 20 pages of words in a chapter can be reduced to
just 4 pages of notes! This makes revising from notes a whole lot easier.

Activity Time: Apply What You Have Learned!
The best way to understand and master this strategy is to practice it.
So you may want to carry out the next activity before continuing.

Pick a chapter from any subject that you are currently studying. Then
grab a pen/pencil and scan through the chapter (Master Step 1). As you
do, circle the Key Words found in the learning objectives, summary,
questions and actual content (Master Step 2). Go ahead and test it out
and see how useful it can be for you!

                        MASTER STEP TWO
                 • Find & extract the Key Words from
                     the textbook & teacher's notes
              • Key Words make up only 20% of the text,
                   but give 100% of the information


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                      Master Step 3: Make Whole Brain Notes

                      Average students tend to study and
                      revise straight from the textbook or
                      their teacher's notes. This takes up a
                      lot of time and makes it difficult to
                      remember the information.
                      On the other hand, top students
                      consistently make their own notes for
                      every chapter right after a lesson has
                      been taught. Their notes combine all the
                      Key Words of the important points from
                      the textbook and the teacher's notes. In other words, making your own
                      notes right after your teacher has taught the lesson is really useful because
                      it:

                      a) Saves You Time
                      By using only Key Words in making your own notes, you will reduce
                      your revision time by 80%. You will be learning up to five times faster
                      than everyone else.

                      b) Makes it Easier to Understand
                      Making your own notes helps you to understand the concepts a lot
                      better. This happens because making notes allows you to re-organize
                      the information in a way that your brain best understands.

                      c) Increases Your Memory Power
                      By making your own personalized Whole Brain Notes that activate both
                      sides of your brain, your ability to remember all the important facts can
                      increase by up to 300%!

                      The Trouble with Normal Linear Notes
                      Many students tend to make notes in the conventional linear style. This
                      means that the information is written in sentences, line by line down a
                                        page. While this is the most common way to make
                                               notes, it doesn't make your brain very happy.

                                               The trouble with linear notes is that they do not
                                              fully unleash your brain's potential and enable
                                                you to understand and remember well. At the
                                                 same time, writing words alone makes studying
                                              really boring.


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You see, your brain is made up of two parts, the left-brain and the right-
brain. The two sides of your brain deal with very different kinds of
information. Here is a quick look at your left and right brain functions.




Most students find it difficult to understand and remember information
because they only activate their 'left brain' in learning. When you study
from linear notes, your brain only gets to deal with 'logic', 'linearity',
'facts', 'words' (i.e. all the left brain stuff). There are no pictures or creative
elements to activate your right-brain. As a result, you only use half of
your brain's potential. What's worse is that when you ignore your
right-brain in learning, it will get distracted and cause you to daydream,
doodle aimlessly and move around.

Making Notes The Whole Brain Way
Is there a way to make notes that activates both sides of your brain at the
same time? Absolutely! By making whole brain notes, you will find that
your brain will be able to understand and memorize much faster (by up
to 500%), as learning becomes a lot more fun.

Whole Brain Notes is a way of making notes that follows the PACOOK
principle. PACOOK stands for: Pictures, Association, Colour, Outstanding
features, Overview and Keywords.




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                        The Power of PACOOK
                        So, why does PACOOK help your brain to learn so much faster? Let's
                        find out…

                        Pictures
                        Your brain recalls pictures much better than words. Pictures activate
                        your right-brain and tend to stick in your mind. They can also help
                        reduce the number of words that you need to remember.

                        Association
                        By using arrows, lines and boxes, Whole Brain Notes allows you to
                        make strong associations/connections between information! This helps
                        in understanding and recall.

                        Colours
                        Colours activate your right-brain and can increase your memory by
                        up to 50%!

                        Outstanding
                        Your brain tends to forget boring information and remembers
                        information that is presented in an outstanding, creative or funny way.
                        Whole Brain Notes lets you use different pictures, colours, shapes
                        and a variety of fonts to make the facts stand out.

                        Overview
                        Whole Brain Notes gives you an overview of how all the points are
                        connected together on one page. Isn't it easier to understand everything
                        you have learned if it is shown on one page as compared to 20 pages?

                        Key Words
                        Again, using only keywords in making Whole Brain Notes cuts down
                        your learning time by up to 80%.


                      Type of Whole Brain Notes
                      There are many versions of Whole Brain Notes you can use for different
                      kinds of subjects. In this book, we will focus our attention on four distinct
                      types of Whole Brain Notes:




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1) Key Idea Tree™ (KIT™)

This is useful for condensing into Key Words information from content heavy
subjects such as humanities and sciences. Here is what a KIT looks like:




2) Cluster Maps

This type of Whole Brain Notes is similar to a Key Idea Tree, except that
it uses short sentences rather than just Key Words. The information is
bounded by boxes, bubbles and other shapes, and linked to other ideas
using lines and arrows.

Cluster maps can be used for most subjects, ranging from information
intensive subjects such Geography & History to application based subjects
such as Mathematics.




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                      3) Picture Diagrams

                      As they say, “a picture paints a thousand words.” Information can be
                      represented using a combination of pictures and limited number of words
                      the Key Ideas, This can be used for subjects such as Biology or
                      Geography, where diagrams are part of the syllabus.

                      4) Timelines

                      When information is presented in a chronological order, timelines might
                      be the ideal choice. For subjects such as History, Literature or Social
                      Studies, where you need to remember a chronology of events, you can
                      use a Time Line to illustrate all the different points in time and the events
                      that happened each moment. Keywords are placed on branches that are
                      connected to each important date in the timeline.




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While Key Idea Trees (KITs), Cluster Maps, Picture Diagrams and
Timeline are all different, they all work to activate your whole brain in
learning. They all use the PACOOK principles.

                               Steps to Making a Key Idea Tree™
                                The KIT™ is one of the most effective
                                kinds of whole brain note making
                               techniques. To remember this concept
                              better, just think about how you can
                             construct a tree from the ground up, while
                           looking at it from a top-down view.

There are four steps to drawing a KIT™

Step 1: Begin with the Root
Step 2: Expand using the Stems
Step 3: Add in the Branches & Leaves
Step 4: Finish it off with a variety of “Flowers”

Let's go through each of these 4 steps in detail:

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                      Step 1: Begin with the Root

                      It is suggested that the KIT™ be drawn using a landscape format because
                      it helps to activate the right brain function, while creating more space for
                      you to add your details.

                      Draw the topic of the chapter in the centre of the paper. This will form
                      the root or foundation for the entire chapter. The root should take the form
                      of a symbolic picture that will help you identify the chapter easily. It
                      should not be any bigger than a quarter of your palm. For example, if
                      you are making notes on the chapter 'Three States of Matter', draw the
                      title in the centre.




                      Step 2: Expand Using the Stems

                      The next step is to expand the root by adding the stems. These stems are
                      sub-headings within the chapter you are studying. Attach each one around
                      the root (centre topic).

                      Let us assume that in the chapter 'Three States of Matter', there are three
                      sub-headings: 'Solids', 'Liquids' and 'Gases.'

                      As shown below, we draw the sub-headings in CAPITAL LETTERS and
                      place them on thick branches to make them outstanding (since the stem
                      is usually thicker than other parts of the tree).




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Step 3: Add the Branches and the Leaves

Starting with the first stem, add in the
branches and the leaves. Only after you
have finished the branches and leaves
should you move on to the next stem. This
is to help you to allocate sufficient space
for the entire KIT™.

You can see from the example below how the
important points (branches and leaves) were added
onto the stem. As we all recall, branches are usually
brown and leaves are usually green. So when you are
radiating ideas from the stem to the branches and
leaves, do switch colours every time you create a new
set of leaves from a particular branch. Notice that only Key Words,
symbols and pictures are used in the sample sub-heading called “solids”.
This saves you time and makes the information easier to remember.




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                      You can also see how the Key Words are written on tree-like branches
                      that radiate from the centre outwards. Here are a few rules of KIT™s:

                      a) A maximum of one Key Word is written on one line. In this way,
                         more key words can be branched from every key word. It also helps
                         you to identify the number of Key Words you have to remember.

                      b) Branches on trees never grow vertically or horizontally, and the same
                         goes for your KIT™. Branches should radiate in an angular format.

                      c) All the branches that radiate from one point have the same colour. In
                         this way, all the same groups of information share the same colour.
                         This helps your brain to remember much better using natural association.

                      d) Do be purposeful about how you use your colours. For example, level
                         1-branches could be red; level 2-branches could be blue etc.

                      Step 4: Finish Off With A Variety of “Flowers”

                      Using pictures to represent certain key words in your KIT™ can allow
                      for instant recall. At the same time, using “flowers” to help you beautify
                      your KIT™ makes learning a more enjoyable experience.

                      Below is the completed KIT™ of the whole chapter.




                      You might notice that in a KIT™, the content begins in the centre and
                      radiates outwards. It is also written in a left to right format and read in a
                      clockwise fashion.




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Activity Time!
Now that you have learned how to do a KIT, it is time for
you to put this powerful method into practice. Grab a set
of colour pens and a piece of art paper (A4 or A3).

Shown below is a sample passage. Start off by
circling the key words & ideas; do keep in mind
the techniques you learned in Master Steps 1 and 2.
After you are done gathering the keywords, create your own KIT™.

Sample Passage: Strategies on managing stress levels

Every day we face some form of stress, from stress related to rushing
homework deadlines, to examination stress. It has become part and parcel
of how we live our lives. Many find means and ways to get rid of it, such
as watching TV programs, playing online games or even sleeping. These
measures only provide short term relief from the harsh realities of the
world, as we merely dwell in an artificial paradise for awhile, avoiding
the hustle and bustle of our life in school.

Is it necessarily a good thing to have no stress in your life at all?
Neuroscientists believe that no stress can actually lead to more stress,
as our bodies will find it difficult to adapt if stress levels suddenly
increase. By regularly exposing ourselves to healthy stress, we condition
our minds and bodies to handle sudden peaks in stress levels. Healthy
stress is known as eustress, while unhealthy stress levels are labeled
distress. Our bodies act like a spring, moving from normal levels to
healthy levels. People who are perpetually under stress will move from
healthy stress to unhealthy stress, and this can lead to impaired learning,
imbalanced emotions, physical distress and even mental breakdowns.

So how can we handle stress in a more productive, effective and purposeful
manner? Here are 5 tips you can use to help you manage the stress levels
you face in your life:

Proper Time Management
- Plan your study schedule realistically and follow it. Study in 2 hour
   blocks, and rest for 5 minutes every 25 minutes of studying.
- Start revision early. You should revise 3 rounds to be prepared for
   the examinations.
- Reward yourself after completing your plan e.g. 1 hour of computer
   games for every 3 hours of study time or every 3 chapters completed.


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                      Create an optimal study environment
                      - Organize your table and room by keeping your table clear and room
                         free of distractions such as bed, TV, computers etc.
                      - Proper lighting to be used: light and a combination of white and
                         yellow light.
                      - Optimal room temperature should range from 19 degree Celsius to
                         23 degree Celsius.
                      - Play soothing background music to help your mind relax while
                         studying. You can use baroque music or new age music.

                      Sufficient sleep
                      - Sleeping 7 to 8 hours a day helps to develop REM (Rapid Eye
                         Movement) sleep, which helps the brain organize information
                         and enhances learning.
                      - Sleep is crucial for long-term memory, which requires complex
                         learning.
                      - Take power naps in the afternoon for a maximum of 20 minutes.
                         Taking longer than that will deepen your sleep, making it harder
                         to awake and affecting your ability to fall asleep at night.

                      Balanced diet
                      - Eating a balanced diet is essential for healthy stress levels. Breakfast
                         is the most important meal of the day because it kick starts your body
                         by giving it the necessary resources to function. For your brain to
                         be activated normally, it has to get its resources externally. Do consume
                         more proteins than carbohydrates to help digestion.
                      - Reduce caffeine intake as it increases your adrenalin, which will
                         increase stress levels.
                      - Drinking water helps to regulate stress levels. Take sufficient
                         amounts for optimal performance; taking too much might lead
                         to harmful effects.

                      Exercise regularly
                      - Exercise helps to regulate your stress levels through relaxing tense
                         muscles, aids sleeping, circulates blood flow and releases chemicals
                         called endorphins into your blood stream, giving you a feeling of
                         happiness. It also improves resistance, enabling you to cope with
                         the long-term effects of stress.




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Draw your Key-Idea Tree here!




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                                             MASTER STEP THREE
                                            • Whole Brain Notes activate
                                          both sides of your brain & boosts
                                                   your brain power
                                       • Different types of Whole Brain Notes
                                                for different subjects
                                     • Four steps to making a Key Idea Tree™

                      I hope you have found the first three steps useful. In the next chapter, we
                      will discover the next three steps of the SMART, study formula: 'unleash
                      your memory potential', 'master application and 'revise for high retention
                      and recall'. See you on the next page.




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CHAPTER   ELEVEN
THE BIG SECRET TO
SCORING 'A'S
(PART II)
  CHAPTER
ELEVEN          The Big Secret to
                Scoring 'A's (Part II)
Welcome to the second part of the lesson on becoming an 'A' student. In
the last chapter, you learned that top students consistently pre-read the
chapters before the lesson (Master step 1), gather keywords (Master Step
2) and make personalized Whole Brain Notes (Master step 3).

Once you have made your notes, the next step is to memorize ALL the
information so you can recall it quickly in the exam. Here is where most
students face great pain and frustrations. Do you also find that it takes a
lot of time to get all the facts glued to your brain? Do you go 'blank' during
exams and fail to recall 100% of the information, even after going through
your notes a few times?

If this happens to you, don't worry! There is nothing wrong with your
brain's memory cells! It is not because your brain's hard disk is full, nor
because you have too little 'RAM' or 'Megabytes'. Research has shown
that all of us possess a powerful memory.

There is No Such Thing As A Bad Memory,
Only a Bad Memory Strategy
The only reason why you cannot remember something well is that you
have not activated your brain's memory power. The problem is that most
of us use a wrong memory strategy.

Think about this. How do you normally remember something? Most
people just repeat the words in their head over and over again. Some
students keep writing down the points until they can remember them.

Unfortunately, this boring way of remembering only uses your left brain.
The secret to activating your brain's memory power is to activate both
sides of your brain! In fact, it is your right brain that holds the key to a
super memory! So let us find out in the next step how we can enhance
our memory skills.



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                       Master Step 4: Unleash your Memory potential

                       Is there something that happened to you
                       many years ago that you still recall
                       very clearly? Maybe a funny joke, the
                       words of your favourite song, or a
                       family holiday?

                       Have you also experienced forgetting something
                       in less than five minutes, for instance a person’s
                       name right after hearing it? Why does this happen? Why does our memory
                       seem to last in some cases, but fail in others?

                       The secret is that there are certain factors that activate your memory
                       power. When you use the right 'Keys of Memory', you will find that you
                       can remember and retain facts very easily. Here are the 5 Keys to activating
                       your Powerful Memory:

                       5 Memory Keys in KIT™ Form
                                                  Memory Key 1: Visualization

                                                 If I were to ask you to close your eyes and
                                              think of a car, would you see a picture of a car
                       in your mind, or would you see the words 'C.A.R.'?

                       You would see the picture of a car, right? The point here is that our brain
                       usually thinks in pictures. This is why our brain remembers pictures a lot
                       easier than words.

                       The reason why we tend to forget what we have studied is that our books
                       and notes tend to be made up of lots of facts and figures, with very few
                       or no pictures at all. This is why 'Whole Brain Notes' and diagrams are
                       much easier to remember. It is because they are made up of meaningful
                       pictures.

                       The first secret to memory is 'visualization', which means you have to
                       imagine a picture in your mind of whatever you want to remember. So,
                       if you want to remember how food digests in your digestive system, you
                       have to imagine seeing pictures of the process in your mind just like a
                       movie. Also, we tend to remember colourful pictures better, which is why
                       it is important to add lots of colours to your Whole Brain Notes.



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Memory Key 2: Association

The second key to memory is Association.
We remember things when they are
somehow 'associated' or 'connected' in
some way. In the next section, you can
learn how to associate many words or
sentences together so you can recall them effortlessly in your examinations.

Memory Key 3: Outstanding & Absurd

                     Our brain tends to forget what is ordinary and boring
                        & only remember what is outstanding and out of
                        the ordinary (absurd). You would probably have
                      forgotten all the different cakes you may have had
                        on your birthdays. However, if there were a
                          birthday when your cake was made up of
                           baked cockroaches and lizard's tails, wouldn't
                         you remember it for the rest of your life?

                           The reason why we tend to forget stuff the
                           in our textbooks so easily is that it is usually
presented in a way that is not outstanding, it is difficult to associate,
and most of all, it is presented in words and figures. In the next section
you will learn how to turn even the most boring facts into something
outstanding and absurd, so that they will stick in your mind.

Memory Key 4: Emotions

We tend to remember things that have strong
emotions attached to them. For example,
you tend to remember things that are really
funny, make you feel really good, or are
really scary.

Can you recall what your teacher shared
with you last month on the first Monday? You probably can't, because
in class most of us are either detached from our emotions, or bored
to death.

Positive emotions can help you learn more effectively, which is
why you need to make studying a really fun, funny and exciting
process. It may sound crazy, but in the next few pages you will learn
exactly how to do this. Stay tuned!

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                       Memory Key 5: Rhythm

                       Do you still remember all 26 letters of the
                       alphabet? How about the lyrics of your
                       favourite song? The reason why you can so
                       effortlessly remember these things is that all
                       the words and letters were connected together
                       by a rhythm. Listening to instrumental background music while learning
                       can actually help you remember your study materials a lot better.

                       In the next section, you will find that playing music or sound effects in
                       your mind while remembering key words and phrases also strengthens
                       your memory.


                                                     The Link System
                       So, how can you make use of all the 5 Memory Keys to remember
                       numerous words and facts? Let me show you the first technique, called
                       the Link System. The link system is a powerful technique you can use to
                       remember a list of words or items.

                       Let's begin by first assessing your current memory potential.

                       Do your best to memorize the 30 words below in 4 minutes, without
                       writing them down. Doing this exercise right now before reading on
                       can help you to understand your brain better.

                          1) World Cup            11) Fan                     21) Bun
                          2) Cosmopolitan         12) Hair                    22) Shoe
                          3) Coffee cup           13) Glucose                 23) Tree
                          4) Hyperbola            14) Detective               24) Dorr
                          5) Chambermaid          15) Microwave Oven          25) Hive
                          6) Umbrella             16) Mobile phone            26) Sticks
                          7) Fluorine             17) Japan                   27) Heaven
                          8) Bean Stalk           18) Management              28) Gate
                          9) Photosynthesis       19) Lungs                   29) Wine
                          10) Watermelon          20) Parachute               30) Hen



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Now, do your best to write down as many words as you can from your
memory bank, in sequence, without looking at the list. Do it right now
in the blank spaces provided!

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________




How many words were you able to recall after 4 minutes? Most people
can only recall between 6-9 words in sequence. Do you think it is possible
to recall all 30 words in sequence by going through them just once?

You might be shaking your head right now, thinking it would be
impossible if you were to just 'read' the words in your head. When you
use the 5 Keys to activate your Memory, you will find that remembering
the list of words becomes a breeze. Now, you will learn how you can use
'Visualization', 'Association', 'Emotions', Rhythm' and 'Absurdity' to
remember these 30 words.

Just relax, get ready to have fun and use your imagination…




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                       Are you ready? Just follow the instructions below:

                        Imagine that you see a 10-foot tall golden WORLD CUP. Now
                        imagine that the world cup is holding a COSMOPOLITAN magazine
                        in one hand. In the other hand, it is holding a COFFEE CUP.

                        On the coffee cup rests a huge HYPERACTIVE BALL (sounds like
                        'HYPERBOLA'). The ball shoots off and hits a CHAMBERMAID,
                        who drops her rainbow coloured UMBRELLA.

                        On the tip of the umbrella, a flower pops out and urinates on the
                        ground (sounds like FLUORINE). The urine fertilizes the ground and
                        out grows a gigantic green BEAN STALK. Pasted on the bean stalk
                        is a photo of your sister (sounds like PHOTOSYNTHESIS).

                        In the photo, your sister is holding a huge WATERMELON. She
                        peels the WATERMELON and the skin turns into a FAN that blows
                        away all her HAIR. The hair flies away and gets glued onto a ghost
                        (sounds like GLUCOSE). The ghost is then caught by a DETECTIVE,
                        who throws it into the MICROWAVE OVEN.

                        In the oven, the ghost insists on calling it’s lawyer, so it steals a
                        MOBILE PHONE from a JAPANESE manager (reminds you of
                        MANAGEMENT). The manager screams until his LUNGS jump out.
                        The lungs are seen PARACHUTING down to earth.

                        For memorizing the rest of the words, we will use the power of
                        'Rhythm'. Imagine that on the PARACHUTE you see the numbers
                        '1,2,3,4'. '1' rhymes with BUN. '2' rhymes with SHOE. '3' rhymes with
                        TREE. '4' rhymes with DOOR.

                        Next, imagine that when you open the DOOR, you see a bee HIVE.
                        You hit the HIVE with a STICK. The bees come out and sting you.
                        You die and go to HEAVEN. In heaven, you see the pearly GATEs.
                        You open the GATE and see a glass of WINE. You drink the WINE
                        and transform into a HEN!


                       Now, close your eyes and imagine this ridiculous story playing like a
                       movie in your mind. As you visualize the absurd pictures, imagine
                       playing circus music in the background and even adding in dramatic
                       sound effects!



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Was that a lot more fun? Now, write down all 30 words in sequence.
   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

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   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________

   _________________________   _________________________   _________________________




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                       Were you able to remember the list of words better this time? Why?
                       Because you activated your brain's memory power!

                       You have just used the power of your imagination to visualize pictures
                       instead of words and associated them all together using an absurd,
                       outstanding and funny story filled with positive emotions and rhythm.

                       This is just the tip of the ice-berg! A list of 30 words is really no big deal
                       at all. In the 'I Am Gifted!' program, students are taught how to remember
                       up to 100 words in sequence in just a few minutes.

                       So, in order to remember a list of words, you need to


                         Step 1: VISUALIZE the words that you need to remember
                         Step 2: ASSOCIATE the pictures using a funny and absurd story


                       You can also apply the 5 Keys to Memory to learning and memorizing
                       more complex subjects such as foreign languages, dates from social
                       studies and history, formulas from your physics, chemistry or mathematics,
                       important points from your sciences and humanities, essays, and so
                       much more.

                                        The Similar Sound Technique
                                        Remember that to memorize something easily, you have
                                        to visualize it in your mind, or draw it in your notes. Your
                                        brain remembers pictures a 100 times better than words.

                                      But what if you have to remember something that is
                       almost impossible to visualize? For example, how do you make a picture
                       of 'Sodium II Bicarbonate' or 'Pythagoras theorem'?

                       To do this, we use a technique called the 'Similar Sound Technique'
                       (SST). You can use the SST to turn any abstract word into a picture
                       that is easy to visualize.

                       For example, during the 30-word list, you came across the word
                       'Fluorine'. Break the word up into 'Fluo' and 'Rine' and find a picture of
                       a word/phrase that rhymes with it. So, 'Fluo' 'Rine' sounds like 'Flower
                       Urine'. By visualizing a flower urinating, you will find it harder to forget,
                       won’t you?


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Let's now apply the SST. Look at the list of abstract words below and do
your best to create pictures that sounds like them. Grab your pen and
spend just ten minutes to do this activity.



 Abstract Word                            Visual Picture
 Carbon
 Silicon
 Amoeba
 Europe
 Nikita Khrushchev
 Madagascar
 Roosevelt
 Anion

You will find that the more you practice, the faster and easier it will
become. Once you can turn any word into a picture, you will find it easy
to remember all those complicated terms that appear in your textbooks
& notes.

Here is an example of pictures you could have come up with:




 Abstract Word                          Picture
 Carbon                                 Car Burn
 Silicon                                Silly Corn
 Amoeba                                 A + Mee + Bar
 Europe                                 U-shaped rope
 Nikita Khrushchev                      Knee & Guitar Crush the Chef
 Madagascar                             Mad Gas Car
 Roosevelt                              Rooster wearing a Belt
 Anion                                  Ant + iron


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                       Linking Main Points Strategy
                       What happens when in preparing for the examinations you have to
                       remember many points, say the 'Factors that Started World War II' in
                       History, or 'The Characteristics of Viruses' in Biology?

                       Again, you can use the link system to remember all these points. The only
                       difference is that you must now remember a sentence instead of just one
                       word. So, before you can visualize and associate, you must first find a
                       keyword or keywords that will remind you of the whole point.


                                       What is a Keyword?
                               A Keyword is the most important word that captures the
                               whole meaning of the sentence. A keyword will remind you
                               of the whole sentence.

                       Let's see how we can use the Link Main Points Strategy to remember
                       something from Science.

                          Example: Features of an Effective Thermometer

                          1) Easy to read
                          2) Safe to use
                          3) Inexpensive
                          4) Sensitive to temperature changes
                          5) Measures a big range of temperatures


                       Step 1: Find the Keywords

                                          The first thing to do is to find the keyword (s) that will
                                         remind you of the whole point you need to remember. For
                                     example, for the main point 'easy to read', the keyword will
                                be just 'read'.

                       The keywords are the ones underlined above. In the title 'Features
                       of an Effective Thermometer', the keywords are just 'Effective
                       Thermometer'. Please note: ALWAYS remember to start off with the
                       topic because it will help you trigger off your memory.




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Step 2: Visualize the keywords

The next step is to be able to visualize the
keywords as pictures in your mind. Remember
that for abstract words you can use the 'Similar Sound Technique' to
transform them into pictures.

So, in this case…




 Effective Thermometer                      Visualize a thermometer
 (Sounds like 'Fat Teeth Thermometer')      with fat teeth

 Read                                       Visualize someone reading

 Safe                                       Visualize a safe
 (Sounds like 'bank safe')

 Inexpensive                                Visualize a bag of 1-cent coins

 Sensitive                                  Visualize someone crying

 Big Range                                  Visualize a big shooting range



                                  Step 3: Associate

                                  The final step is to use your imagination to
                                  associate all the pictures in an absurd way.

For example, you could visualize a huge thermometer with very fat teeth.
The thermometer is READING a book (reminds you of 'easy to read').

As he is flipping the pages, he sees a SAFE on one page (reminds you of
'safe to use'). He opens the safe and sees a bag of 1-cent coins (reminds
you of 'inexpensive').




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                       Disappointed, the thermometer starts
                       to cry (reminds you of 'SENSITIVE
                       to temperature changes'). He gets
                       so upset that he goes to a big
                       shooting range to shoot himself
                       (reminds you of 'BIG RANGE')

                       Now close your eyes and
                       play the whole series of
                       pictures in your mind like
                       a movie, and throw in
                       funny sound effects.

                       In the space below, see if you can write down the features of an effective
                       thermometer.

                               Features of an Effective Thermometer

                               1)

                               2)

                               3)

                               4)

                               5)



                       Was it easy to remember the whole list of points? Using this strategy
                       allows you to remember information in an easy and fun way.

                       In the book written by Adam Khoo, 'I Am Gifted, So Are You!', you will
                       find a lot more memory strategies that can be used to remember new
                       vocabulary, statistical figures, formulas, and dates and facts from many
                       other subjects, ranging from History to Economics.

                                               MASTER STEP FOUR
                                            • Utilize the 5 Keys to Memory
                                          • Mix and Match the 3 tools shared
                                       (Link system, Similar Sound Technique,
                                     Link Main Points Strategy) to maximize your
                                                    memory potential


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Master Step 5: Mastering Application

                           Now that you have leaned how to activate
                           your memory power to remember all
                                the information in your notes, the next
                                step is to ensure that you can apply what
                               you have learned to the questions in the
                              examinations.

                           Have you ever studied really hard, gone for
                         the exam and found that the questions were
asked in a way that you did not know how to answer? Have you ever
answered an examination question only to find that you did not get full
marks because the topic was not sufficiently covered?

Would you like to be able to walk into the examination room and be
able to answer every single question that comes out well enough to get
an 'A'? If you said YES, then you must go through 'Step 5: Mastering
Application'. To Master the Application of what you have learned, you
need to take 3 steps.


Three Steps to Mastering Application

Step 1: Collect All the Different Types of Questions

Many students go for the examinations only to see a question they have
never encountered before, and find that they are not able to answer it.

Are 'A' students able to understand and answer any question on the spot?
Not really. In fact they already know how to answer the questions even
before it comes out. To become an 'A' student, you must be prepared to
answer every single type of question before it appears in the exam. Is
this possible? Of course!

For every chapter, there is always a fixed number of question types that
can be asked in the examinations. Step 1 involves collecting all the different
types of questions that could possibly come out.




                                                                        221      SECRETS
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                          Where do you find all the different types of questions? You can
                          find them in:
                          • Homework assignment questions
                          • Past test papers
                          • Past year exam papers (ten-year series)
                          • Assessment books
                          • Other school's test papers
                          (90% of the questions that come out in the exam would have
                          appeared in one of these places before)

                       Write down all these different examples of questions in your note pad
                       and file them by chapters.

                       Step 2: Learn the Steps to Solve and Answer

                       Once you have found all the different types of questions
                       per chapter, you must then learn the steps on how to
                       solve or answer every single question in order to get
                       full marks for it.

                       Always do your best to solve each question yourself
                       and then check your answers against the
                       solutions, or have a teacher/tutor mark it to
                       ensure that your solution/answer is the right
                       one. Many students tend to skip or avoid
                       difficult questions they cannot understand, thinking those questions won't
                       appear in the final examinations.

                       To guarantee yourself an 'A', you have to ensure that you can understand
                       and solve every single question. Never leave anything to chance. If you
                       lose 0.5 mark on each question, your 'A' could turn into a 'C'. If there is
                       one that you do not understand, ask and ask and ask until you know how
                       to answer it!




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                       Step 3: Practice Until Perfect

                       There are many students who walk into the
                       examination room knowing how to solve every
                      single question. Yet they still make mistakes. It is
            like a basketball player who knows all the plays, strategies
           and techniques, yet misses the crucial game-winning throw.

            Why does that happened? Because these students make
             'careless mistakes', or perform so slowly that they run out
                of time. To make sure that you eliminate all careless
                  mistakes and solve the questions fast enough, you
                     have to practice, practice and practice until you
                      are perfect!

                        MASTER STEP FIVE
                         3 steps to application:
                  • Collect different types of questions
                         • Find model solutions
                        • Practice for Perfection


Master Step 6: Revise for High Retention & Recall

Now that you have read every chapter, looked for keywords & ideas,
made whole brain notes, memorized the facts and mastered application,
are you ready for the examinations? There is one final step you must take
to ensure you reach peak performance. The last master step is to do with
CONSISTENT REVISION.

No matter how well you understand and memorize your notes, your
memory recall will not stay sharp and fresh forever! You have to revise
at least 4 times before the information becomes permanently saved into
your brain's hard drive!

Before learning when the best time to revise is, let us find out about
what happens to your memory after learning something. Research has
shown that after learning something, your brain will tend to forget
80% of it within 24 hours. Have you experienced the frustration of
forgetting what you have studied after 1-2 days? Well, don't worry, it
happens to everybody!

The secret is to always revise whatever you have learned within 24 hours

                                                                    223      SECRETS
                                                                          SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                     TEENS
                       of learning it. So if you study chapter 3 on Monday, revise your notes on
                       Tuesday! During this revision process, review the memory associations
                       you have made and practice the questions again. By revising the next day,
                       your memory and understanding will be refreshed, so your revision will
                       usually be very quick and easy!


                                                          WARNING:
                               Most students wait for a few days to pass before doing their
                                first revision. After a few days, more than 90% of their
                               memory is gone and it takes them a lot of time to re-learn
                                              and re-remember the chapter!



                       Must you keep revising your notes every 24 hours? Of course not! After
                       your first revision (within 24 hours), your memory will last longer,
                       this time for about one week.

                       As such, it's wise to do your 2nd revision within one week. After that,
                       your memory will usually last for one month. Do a 3rd revision within
                       a month. Your memory retention should now remain fresh for about
                       3 months, just in time for your exam.

                       Your 4th and final revision should be done the day before the exam. This
                       is your brain's final warm up before you go in for the main event!

                       Let me summarize everything for you here in this graph.
                                Memory


                                  100%




                                   50%




                                   0%                                                                 Time
                                           24 Hours      1 Week         1 Month          Day
                                          st
                                         (1 Revision) (2nd Revision) (3rd Revision) Before Exam
                                                                                   (Final Revision)


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During these 15-30 minute revision schedules, review your whole
brain notes (ensuring that you can still recall all the points) and
practice answering all the possible questions that can be asked in the
exam. By doing this, you can confidently know that you will be able to
recall 100% of what you have learnt and answer the questions
accurately in the exams.

                         MASTER STEP SIX
                   • Within 24 hours you forget 80%
                            of what you learn
              • Revise at least four times: within 24 hours,
       a week later, a month later, and the day before the exam.
             • During the 15-30 minutes revision schedule,
      revise your notes and practice doing the different questions


So there you have it! The Six Master Steps to studying smart. Review
this chapter one more time and capture the key points; master these steps
and START applying them to your subjects right away! When you do,
you will definitely start seeing positive results in your grades.

                      Creating An Optimal Learning Environment
                            I'm sure you will agree that your learning
                           environment affects your ability to focus. Here
                                         are some quick tips on how to
                                          create a study environment that
                                          will be great for learning:

                                            1. The lighting should be a
                                               mixture of yellow and
                                               white light, so that your eyes
                                               won't tire so easily

2. The Room should be free of distractions (e.g. no computer games
   in sight). If the study room and the bed room are in the same location,
   cordon off an area to be the “Study Zone”

3. All notes and books should not be on the table because this gives you
   the idea that after you finish studying, you still have a lot to do. Only
   put on the table what you need to use when you study




                                                                       225      SECRETS
                                                                             SUCCESSFUL OF
                                                                                        TEENS
                       4. Create motivational posters and put them up on the wall so that they
                          can act as reminders to think positively

                       5. Rearrange your things so that what you need is within easy access.
                          You do not want to have to spend time searching for stuff when you
                          can use the time to study or do other things

                       6. Create a checklist for all the subjects and chapters you are studying
                          for, so that you can study in a more focused and directed way

                       7. Drink ONLY water and eat fruits when you feel hungry or greedy
                          (we’ve all been there). This helps to keep you more focused on learning
                          rather than dealing with sleepiness all the time.

                       Your Journey Ahead…
                       Wow! We have certainly come a long way on this journey of learning
                       together. I would like to thank you for taking the time to read this book
                       and I believe that you will achieve tremendous success when you begin
                       to apply the powerful ideas and strategies you have learnted.

                       I look forward to meeting you one day in one of the 'I Am Gifted'
                       Programmes and hearing your success story. In the meantime, feel free
                       to visit our websites and BLOGs, or send us an email if you have any
                       questions. All the best and enjoy your journey to success!




                       Adam Khoo & Gary Lee
                       www.adam-khoo.com
                       www.akltg.com




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Adam Khoo's
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Programs

Public Seminars Division
• Patterns of Excellence™
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* Selected seminars are currently being conducted in Singapore, Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur,
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