"But have no fear, help is on the way for this administration. Condoleezza? [on screen: Sec/State Condoleezza Rice naming Cal Ripken Jr. as Special Sports Envoy to the State Dept.] ... This is an unusual situation, one we will examine in a segment we're calling 'Rice & Ripken: Together at ... Why?! ... I guess it's kind of a cool idea. You send Ripken to some baseball-mad country like the Dominican or Venezuela [on screen: Ripken saying, 'I can't wait to get to China to see how baseball is received']. China? So to get China to like us we're going to send a guy they've probably never heard of to crush them in a sport they've never played? No wonder they're poisoning our toys." --Jon Stewart