Axis Bank Acount Statement Archives July 2004 Sat Jul by oqb65616

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									                                              Archives: July 2004

                                           Sat Jul 31, 2004

                        ITS A BEAUTIFUL DAY IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD




                                  Now I must go celebrate with Mr. Don Julio.
                             Posted by: The Theorist on Jul 31, 04 | 4:46 pm | Profile

                            [4] comments (295 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                               Kerry's "real" supporters out of Vietnam
                            http://www.swiftvets.com/index.php?topic=SwiftPhoto



                                      Talk about glossing over the truth!!
                                 Posted by: UziQ on Jul 31, 04 | 4:22 pm | Profile

                            [1] comments (257 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                               THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO...WTF!?
Now I thought, as do most people, that there is no such thing as a good terrorist. It seems our State Department
  doesn't agree with that assesment. Seems that they have now decided that some of these shitbags deserve
  preferential treatment intsead of being killed. I guess its okay to be a hypocrite when it serves your political
                             ambitions. The whole thing just makes me say - WTF!!!

                                      Iranian terrorists aren't so bad...
                             Posted by: The Theorist on Jul 31, 04 | 1:40 pm | Profile

                            [4] comments (305 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                       Yarbz Saturday PhotoShop"
     Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 31, 04 | 7:11 am | Profile

[11] comments (356 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                Fri Jul 30, 2004

                      Old Lyrics:
                  TATANKA TATANKA

                        [Chorus]
                    Tatanka Tatanka
                  I'm a big ass buffalo
                    Tatanka Tatanka
                  I'm a big ass buffalo

                         [Verse]
              I don't wear black and white
                 Cuz they'd call me orca
                I don't wear camouflage
               Cuz they'd call me Abrams
              I don't wear pretty flowers
              Cuz they'd call me a garden
                   I don't eat no beef
              Cuz they'd call me a cannibal

                    Tatanka Tatanka
                  I'm a big ass buffalo
                         Tatanka Tatanka
                       I'm a big ass buffalo

                             [Bridge]
                   When I walk down the road
                 The sidewalk cracks and creeks
                    Then they need to fix it
                     And it takes ten weeks
                 When I'm walking like Godzilla
                   Oh the havoc that I wreak
                  When I head in your direction
                  You're interest better peak

                       I don't go to the zoo
               Cuz they'd shoot me with a dart gun
                   I don't go watch no football
                Cuz they'd put me on the frontline
                    I don't go to the bus stop
                   Cuz they'd look for my door
                     I don't go to the airport
                Cuz they'd fill me up with jet fuel

                         Tatanka Tatanka
                       I'm a big ass buffalo
                         Tatanka Tatanka
                       I'm a big ass buffalo
                         Tatanka Tatanka
                       I'm a big ass buffalo
                         Tatanka Tatanka
                       I'm a big ass buffalo
         Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 30, 04 | 6:59 pm | Profile

     [2] comments (272 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

Felt Like Re-posting Some Favorite Johnny Fubar Lyrics:
                          TIME AGAIN

                    Gonna kick some ass again
                   Not because we wanted too
                   Gotta kick some butts again
                    Forced on us like WW II

                We‘d just assume drink our beer
                  Mow our grass and barbeque
                But now are forced to fight again
                 And so it‘s time to rock n roll!

                          You might say
                         This is jingoistic
                         I‘ll tell you what
                      Better open your eyes!

                   Gonna have to fight again
                 Just like we did to Hitler when
                  We kicked the Axis‘ evil ass
                  With the Allies by our side
                                         We‘d just assume drink some beer
                                           Mow our grass and barbeque
                                          But now it's time to fight again
                                           And so it‘s time to rock n roll!

                                               [solo to verse chords]

                                                   Yeah-----------
                                                 This ain‘t jingoistic
                                                     Yeah, yeah
                                            It‘s freeing the oppressed!
                                              We didn‘t come looking
                                           For this fight you brought on
                                                    Hey hey hey
                                              Gonna see it to the end

                                                    [Solo/bridge]

                                                 This ain‘t jingoistic!
                                                 This ain‘t jingoistic!

                                            Gonna kick some ass again
                                            Not because we wanted too
                                            Gonna kick some ass again
                                            Not because we wanted too

                                         We‘d just assume drink our beer
                                           Mow our grass and barbeque
                                         But now are forced to fight again
                                          And so it‘s time to rock n roll!

                                                 This ain‘t jingoistic!
                                                 This ain‘t jingoistic!
                                                 This ain‘t jingoistic!
                                                 This ain‘t jingoistic!
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 30, 04 | 4:55 pm | Profile

                             [1] comments (268 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                       THE BIG DEMOCRAT MOTTO!
 Kerry and the democrats have adopted ‗‘Help is on the way!‘‘ as their battle cry. The ever-brilliant Rush Limbaugh
 noted that this sounds quite similar to ‗‘Here I come to save the day!‘‘, the old ‗Mighty Mouse‘ cartoon theme song.
So, from this point forward, Rush will be using the original ‗Mighty Mouse‘ theme song as the Kerry Campaign theme
 song when reviewing news of the democratic hopeful‘s trek across the country. How funny is that!? I only wish we
 could get John Kerry to go on Saturday Night Live and do an impression of Andy Kaufman doing his old sing-along
                            with the Mighty Mouse record. Man, that would be badass!!
                                 Posted by: Dirkbag on Jul 30, 04 | 11:33 am | Profile

                             [4] comments (349 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                      I Love You....Don't Touch Me!!
                Posted by: UziQ on Jul 30, 04 | 10:56 am | Profile

            [2] comments (276 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                     WOW!!
         Electorial Vote Predictor shows Kerry with a 57 POINT LEAD!!!
                  Posted by: cj on Jul 30, 04 | 10:19 am | Profile

            [7] comments (302 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                  Hmmmmm:


I don't know why, but when I saw this photo of
Kerry, I thought of Captain Christopher Pike...
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 30, 04 | 10:14 am | Profile

                             [1] comments (271 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                  From Fox Poll as of 1056hrs 040730:
                                           I am a "B" person myself...

                              What best describes your view of Teresa Heinz Kerry?

                                     a. An asset to the Kerry campaign (9%)
                                    b. A liability to the Kerry campaign (72%)
                               c. Wives are irrelevant to presidential tickets (14%)
                                      d. Not sure or none of the above (5%)
                                                  11,551 total votes
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 30, 04 | 9:55 am | Profile

                             [7] comments (304 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                       Great Movie.....worth seeing




Dane and I watched this last night. It was the first time I'd seen it in its entirety. I recommend you see it before
                 you see the remake (if you are going to do so). It was quite eye-opening to me.
                                  Posted by: UziQ on Jul 30, 04 | 8:56 am | Profile

                             [5] comments (285 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                       JUST BECAUSE I"M BORED
                            Posted by: The Theorist on Jul 30, 04 | 8:51 am | Profile

                           [7] comments (304 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                          The Personality Test:
I was "The Changling": Witty, amusing and a bit weird, you're welcomed into most social groups, even though you
                                            don't 'fit in' perfectly.


                                         Take your test   Here!
                               Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 30, 04 | 6:37 am | Profile

                           [7] comments (312 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                     Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
    Kerry Daughters Show Love for the
                 Family




Yarbz Caption: Vanessa (L) and Alexandra Kerry, daughters of presidential candidate John Kerry show the crowd at
    the DNC how they engage in "Nipple Play" during quite times during the otherwise busy campaign trail. Here
Vanessa gives an example of Alexandra‘s favorite method, the up'n down vertical nipple flipper which lifts and then
   lowers the nipple in rapid succession. Alexandra says this particular activity usually leads to moisture in lower
 areas. After Vanessa demonstrated this method, Alexandra demonstrated the front teeth nipple pincher tongue
                          wiggle technique taught to her by her fathers friend, Bill Clinton.

 Original caption: Vanessa (L) and Alexandra Kerry, daughters of presidential candidate John Kerry, speak during
 the final night of the 2004 Democratic National Convention, July 29, 2004 at the FleetCenter in Boston. (Gary
                                               Hershorn/Reuters)
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 30, 04 | 6:04 am | Profile

                            [9] comments (3581 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Thu Jul 29, 2004

                        Dems (Jackasses) Rock 'n' Roll After Kerry's Speech
 U2 and Van Halen (with Sammy Hagar) were played following John Kerry's address. I was not impressed. (Dane
 wanted me to point out to FB the choice of Van Halen----doesn't that give you the idea that they are among the
                                                   dems too??).
Oh yeah, and Al Sharpton was holding up a sign that said "Boot Bush" that pictured a "jackboot" on it. Even after
Lurch said at the end of his speech to our President that they should have "optimism" and "civility" between them
                                  during the time between now and the election.
                                               What a load of utter




      bullshit!!!!!!
                                Posted by: UziQ on Jul 29, 04 | 10:05 pm | Profile

                            [6] comments (290 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                     Fo FB:




                                    Spurrier!
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 29, 04 | 2:58 pm | Profile

                            [9] comments (348 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                              I Don't Feel Safe
                                   Texas to reject gun permits from Missouri

                                       Published Thursday, July 29, 2004
ST. LOUIS (AP) - Missouri‘s concealed-gun permits will not be honored in Texas because of concerns that Missouri
           permits can be issued before a federal fingerprint criminal background check is complete.

 Texas officials notified Missouri Gov. Bob Holden of the policy yesterday, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch reported
                                                      today.

 Missouri‘s concealed-weapons law requires a sheriff to conduct a criminal background check on applicants before
                                  issuing a license to carry a concealed weapon.

 However, if the check is not completed within 45 days, the sheriff must issue the license anyway. Later, if the
 background check comes back showing the applicant should be disqualified, the sheriff must revoke the permit.

 Texas officials said it was not possible to know from a Missouri permit whether the background check had been
                                                     completed.

 "With no way to distinguish between those Missouri concealed-handgun licenses issued in accordance with what
  Texas law requires and those issued under other circumstances, it is not possible at this time to effectuate
           reciprocity," said a letter signed by Becky Pestana, an assistant attorney general in Texas.

Holden spokeswoman Mary Still said the letter reinforced Holden‘s "long-held belief" that the concealed-guns law
                                                  should be repealed.

            The General Assembly enacted Missouri‘s law last September by overriding the Holden veto.

The law allows most Missourians 23 and older to receive concealed-weapons permits from their local sheriffs after
               passing a firearms training course, submitting to a background check and paying a fee.

 Texas officials said recognition of Missouri‘s permit might be reconsidered under one of two conditions: If the
permits could not be issued before completion of the federal criminal background checks or if the permits issued
before completion of the federal checks could be distinguished from those issued based on the completion of the
                                                background checks.
                                     Posted by: cj on Jul 29, 04 | 2:55 pm | Profile

                              [4] comments (325 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                               Interesting Injury:

  I just recevied a claim where the description of injured body part
                        says: "Other Left Foot"

                         This sounds like a birth defect to me...
                                         Do not go dancing with the person...
                                   Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 29, 04 | 2:04 pm | Profile

                              [4] comments (284 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                Pink Slip Time ???
Today could be pink slip day for our deputy director, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. This lady was appointed to do
 a job for a lot of money and all she has done is run here, run there, talk on the phone to her children (ages 17 and
                            up), her husband and friends about things not work related.

    This lady and a clerical from personnel had a training class today in Columbia. They took the company car and
   arrived on time. The lady dropped off the clerical and told her she had to run to the mall and would pick her up
  after training. The clerical, of course, can't stop her since the lady is in charge. Well training ended at noon and
  the lady wasn't back yet so the clerical patiently waited and waited and waited. At 1:30 she called the office to
   inform them that the lady went to the mall, training was over, and she wanted to come back to the office. The
  director asked the clerical if she would walk to the mall and see if she could locate the lady (mall is three blocks
    away). Clerical found the company car in the lot, but couldn't locate the lady. She calls the director back and
 reports the lady still missing. Clerical, for unknown reason, has a second set of keys to the car. The director tells
clerical to use those keys and return to the office. When lady calls to report car missing she is to placed directly in
 our director's hands. I feel an ass reaming is about to happen! I can't wait. Everyone is running around with smiles
                                          from ear to ear. God I love this place!
                                     Posted by: cj on Jul 29, 04 | 1:57 pm | Profile

                              [5] comments (329 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                           Saddam and his prostate
      Seems like Saddam is having prostate problems. Personally I hope it becomes the size of a bowling ball.
                                  Posted by: Trench on Jul 29, 04 | 9:52 am | Profile

                             [11] comments (313 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                  More Pig guts:
                             The Pig and the Pendulum




                                                 Just for you Dane!
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 29, 04 | 9:09 am | Profile

                             [4] comments (291 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        And you think Florida sucks?
 A Federal Court of Appeals has upheld an Alabama decision to ban the sale of dildos and adult toys and "devices
  that can be sexually stimulating." Can someone please let those people know that we have made it to the 21st
Century and they can stop paying attention to Jerry Falwell. I am positive that the Rev. Falwell is pleased with this
                                                     ruling.

                          It is no wonder that incest with ones cousin is so popular there.

                                                       More...
                                Posted by: FloridaBill on Jul 29, 04 | 9:05 am | Profile

                             [7] comments (401 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                    Yarbz Hates Dealing With Florida:
           This Just In: Florida
                  Sucks!
                                   Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 29, 04 | 7:46 am | Profile

                              [16] comments (379 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                         Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:


    Rare and Telling Photo Reveals the
    Two of John Kerry's Political Faces!




    Yarbz caption: In a recent media event, for reasons thought to be due to a large amount of sunspots on this
particular day, press photographers camera captured unusual truth. The images captured, both on film and digitally,
   show that two John Kerry's actually exist. On image, the slightly distorted and false image on the left, is the
   image that the Democrats are painting through the use of media and public relations stunts. That image, the
centrist and nice and likable Kerry, is not real. The actual Kerry, on the right, is an ultra liberal tax and spend lying
   bastard with a wife who speak French to Americans. The real fright in this exquisite photograph is that both
  personas would break the bank of the American taxpayer and insure the pussification of the country's foreign
                                                         policy.

   Democratic presidential candidate Senator John Kerry waves to supporters as he leaves a rally in Boston,
Massachusetts. Kerry is in Boston for the Democratic National Convention where his party formally nominated him
                         as its presidential candidate(AFP/Getty Images/Justin Sullivan)
                                   Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 29, 04 | 5:59 am | Profile

                              [6] comments (328 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Wed Jul 28, 2004
                                             DUMB AND DUMBER




                              Posted by: The Theorist on Jul 28, 04 | 10:04 pm | Profile

                            [24] comments (887 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                    THE MAYTAG MOVE TO MEXICO
                                         THE MAYTAG MOVE TO MEXICO

 My distaste for the Maytag move to Mexico, and others like it, doesn‘t take away the fact that both democrats
  and republicans have worked together to make sure that NAFTA passed and thereby companies would move to
   Mexico. The result is lower prices and higher company profits. How do you put the genie back in the bottle?
  Impossible, perhaps. Kerry would tell us that the next step is to make the Federal Government bigger, pay for
health care, take more money from the workers in America. I don‘t know exactly what the fix is, but I know moving
                       further and further into socialism is something I do not want to do.

    But, back to Maytag – If Americans care about what is happening, Maytag moving their factory to Mexico,
 Americans should put them out of business. It‘s simple enough: Don‘t buy Maytag appliances. There are plenty of
 appliances to buy. Personally, I don‘t hate Maytag, but I do dislike Mexico and never visit there, and I do not like
 Maytag moving there and leaving workers in the lurch. It would be an important statement to other companies if
                                         Americans just refused to by Maytag.
                                 Posted by: Dirkbag on Jul 28, 04 | 2:03 pm | Profile

                             [7] comments (350 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

      Here is a blatant example of racism and hatred by liberally indoctrinated blacks:

  This story is really about the utter stupidity, hatred, ignorance,
     foaming at the mouth pointless blathering of the liberally
 indoctrinated, Jesse Jackson worshiping, and selfish part of the
 black population that the article refers too. Too bad most of the
 black minority does not stand up and shout that these people are
fucking asswipes who should be excommunicated from the thoughts
                   of all civil, thinking individuals...
                                               In the news:

                                          Jenna's New Job

    Two weeks after Jenna Bush reportedly accepted a job as a
teaching assistant at a charter school in Harlem, New York, a black
and Latino advocacy group is now objecting, insisting — "she is [not]
   of a high enough moral character to teach school." The group,
Artists and Activists United for Peace, adds — "Her taking this job
 is keeping a black person from getting the job. We think she and
              her sister should enlist in the military."

   Boy, if that is not the most ignorant bunch of stinky-finger,
        self-absorbed dick lickers I have ever heard of...
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 28, 04 | 11:15 am | Profile

                            [17] comments (3532 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                     Doof in a bag - The case for W.


                                          Doof in a Bag:




                                                The case for Bush

 In the coming months, the political process in this country will reach crescendo levels. The DNC this week is just
                         the kick-off party for the real debates coming down the pike.

  We went to war in Afghanistan and Iraq. Despite the rationale for doing so (i.e.: WMD) being faulty at best, we
kicked ass and took control of Mr. Hussein and have done a good thing there. Seems there should be some unity and
  celebration in America for having prevailed. We had the authority of congress and some of our better allies. We
 won. We did well. Seems to me that the President should be rewarded with re-election. The manner by which Mr.
 Bush handled the 9-11 issues was exemplary, despite the BS being spouted by Michael ―Dickhead‖ Moore and his
                                           band of celebrity dipshits.

 We had, during the current administration, tax reduction. I will say that again, because it is very important and is
also something we won‘t have if the guy in the NASA suit gets elected. We had some real, meaningful, bucks-in-my-
                   pocket tax relief. I don‘t recall that happening during the Clintonista years…

  The economy is firing on all cylinders. Interest rates are creeping back up and inflation is under the complete
control of Mr. Greenspan and Company. We saw mortgage rates drop to the lowest of lows and the stock market is
   healthy and making millionaires again. We have seen corporate greed roped in and we have a tough-on-crime
                    President who makes sure that criminals get the sentences they deserve.

    Look, there are many things about Mr. Bush that I don‘t like. He is a bit of a religious zealot for my taste. His
 stances on abortion and stem cell research are, in a word, unsupportable. Mr. Bush suffers from many of the same
 ills that Mr. Kerry has: they are both elitists from wealthy families who have never really had to work too hard to
 get what they want. Kerry is rich enough for a couple of thousand lifetimes. So is Mr. Bush. They seek the office,
    not because of some calling, or ―higher power‖ or the desire to do good things for the planet, but because of a
   search for power that can only be sought by the extremely rich. They are the only ones who can afford it. They
have a place in life that none of us will ever know. They have nearly everything one could want, except the ultimate
     power to partially control the destiny of the world. Do you really want an inexperienced Massachusetts flip-
flopping liberal, who wears body condoms to get votes, in charge when the next terrorist attack hits American soil?
       I think I want a guy who has the wisdom and experience of four years in the job already. How about you?



                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 28, 04 | 10:30 am | Profile

                             [20] comments (421 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                   Very Funny:
                                         Very much worth the downloads:




                                  Link Here!
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 28, 04 | 6:30 am | Profile

                             [4] comments (266 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                       Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:




              Bozo Praises Kerry!
 Yarbz Caption: Singer and weird glasses wearer, Bozo, from the rock group U-Pooh, sings during a salute to John
Kerry entitled, Kerry, A Place to Put Your Poop. The show was supposed to enlighten viewers about Kerry's position
 on the issues but by the end of the show, it was clear that Kerry's only position was that he didn't like Bush and
                                               that was his platform.

 Caption About Poohead Bono: Singer Bono of the band U2 sings with the Boston Pops at Symphony Hall, during 'A
 salute to Edward Kennedy in honor of 42 years of service' at Symphony Hall, in Boston, July 27, 2004. More than
   4,000 Democratic delegates to the convention will nominate John Kerry on Wednesday to challenge President
        George W. Bush in a November battle for the White House. REUTERS/Marc Serota US ELECTION
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 28, 04 | 6:19 am | Profile

                             [3] comments (296 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Tue Jul 27, 2004

                              STUPID CHOICE AND THE TELLETUBBIES
Rev. Jerry Falwell has just announced that he will be giving the opening invocation at the RNC. This is just one more
example of my Repulican party surrounding itself with the wrong people. I'm not talking about the fact that he is a
 preacher. I am talking about the fact that he is a preacher who said that Tinky Winky is the gay Telletubbie. Not
only did he say Tinky was gay, he went on TV and explained to anyone stupid enough to listen that the Telletubbies
 are evil. How stupid. I guess its fitting though, as the RNC will be filled with people that think like him. And they
                                                     too are stupid.

                       Besides, everyone knows that Tinky Winky isn't gay. Tinky Winky is bi.
                              Posted by: The Theorist on Jul 27, 04 | 5:47 pm | Profile

                             [15] comments (647 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:


The Bill and Hillary Show Theme Song
Yarbz Caption: Bill and Hillary took the stage on the DANK (Democratic Ab-Normal Konvention) and announced that
they would be the stars of a new television variety show based on the old Sonny and Cher show. They previewed the
 opening scene for the attendees who were drooling and making guttural retard sounds. They sang the new opening
                                   theme song, sung to the tune of I Got You Babe:

                                  [HER:] They say all lawyers will lie and cheat
                                   We lie to you and the others we will cheat
                                   [HIM:] Well I don't know if all that's true
                                  'Cause you caught me, and baby I caught you

                                                [HIM:] Skank
                                 [BOTH:] I caught you skank I caught you skank

                                 [HER:] They say our love makes the nation say
                                     It's all for show because I'm really gay
                                 [HIM:] I guess that's so, it's why I smoke pot
                                So I'd be stoned when I see the huge ass you got

                                                [HIM:] Skank
                                 [BOTH:] I caught you skank I caught you skank

                          [HIM:] I had Flowers in a fling I got you to ignore that thing
                                  [HER:] And when I'm sad, you best shut up
                               And if I get scared, it's cuz we're both corrupt
                                   [HER:] So let them say your DNA's there
                                    Cuz I don't care, I'm ina lesbian affair
                                  [HIM:] Then put your little hand right here
                                   Feel my dick I'll turn you back from queer

                                                [HIM:] Skank
                                 [BOTH:] I caught you skank I caught you skank

                                        [HIM:] I got you to hold my putz
                                       [HER:] I saw you almost get canned
                                          [HIM:] I got you to lie with me
                                         [HER:] I won't let you eat out me
                                      [HIM:] I told the voters to kiss my ass
                                     [HER:] I jerked you off in Catholic mass
                                       [HIM:] I caught you, you skanky ho...
                                     [HER:] I caught you our love it is so faux

                                              [BOTH:] I got you skank
                                                 I got you skank
                                                 I got you skank
                                                 I got you skank
                                                 I got you skank

  Original Caption: Former president Bill Clinton and his wife Senator Hillary Clinton in Boston. Clinton wowed the
   convention's opening night with a polished speech that hearkened back to better days for a Democratic party
preparing to officially nominate Kerry on Thursday to challenge Bush for the White House in November.(AFP/Getty
                                               Images/Spencer Platt)
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 27, 04 | 6:22 am | Profile

                             [4] comments (318 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                            Mon Jul 26, 2004

                                         I'm Not Inspector Gadget
  Look out world I'm in charge. That's right! My big boss is gone, her boss is out and I've been left in charge. It's
     not like the first time I've been in charge before, but the first thing I get is a message from our director
 containing an attachment that mentions a man threatened a Probation and Parole office in St. Louis that is housed
   in the same building as our St. Louis hearing unit. The director's message to me was to get in contact with the
  attorney who reported this threat and find out more information. When I saw his message I thought it had been
sent to everyone by mistake. Then, it dawned on me that my name was the only one on the message! Good grief, I'm
not Inspector Gadget.! What more did he want me to find out? I called the attorney and if I have to say so myself,
                                             I did a good job investigating.

Question 1: How did you find out about this threat? Answer: A lady from Probation and Parole told me about it on
                                             the way to the bathroom.
        Question 2: Are the police still in the building? Answer: I can't see the street from my window.
            Question 3: How are you all doing? I mean do you feel safe? Answer: We are on our toes.
Question 4: Do you know anything else other than what you just told me or read in the email that was sent to you?
                                               Answer: No that's it.

                              That's all I got...homeland security is not my specialty.
                                    Posted by: cj on Jul 26, 04 | 2:56 pm | Profile

                             [2] comments (253 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                  SHOVE IT!!!!!!
                                                   (What a lady!!)
                                  Posted by: UziQ on Jul 26, 04 | 1:33 pm | Profile

                            [16] comments (353 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                          When are they gonna ask?
When are they gonna ask John Fitzgerald Kennedy Heinz Kerry (who arrives at The Auto Workers union meeting in
 a Rolls Royce, wtf?) if he smoked pot or abused illegal drugs while he was a hippie post Vietnam? They certainly
grilled the last few candidates, why not him? For some reason, I think this would be a very good time to do it. This
                                                 week. In Boston.

                                                 Now would be good.
                                Posted by: FloridaBill on Jul 26, 04 | 1:28 pm | Profile

                             [5] comments (266 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                          CRAPPY PAPER - REALLY
I don't know which is worse - Sending President bush paper made out of shit, or making paper out of shit in the
                               first place. The whole thing just made me chuckle.
                             Posted by: The Theorist on Jul 26, 04 | 12:40 pm | Profile

                             [2] comments (256 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        WHERE IS THE OUTRAGE?
 Or does that only apply when Democrats do something wrong? Seems the Justice Department thinks so. Senator
 Richard Shelby(R) was vice chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee on 9/11, and he or someone from his
 staff leaked classified info to the press. Instead of a real investigation he has now been refered to the Senate
 Ethics Committee. If Fox News was really "fair and balanced" they would be jumping all over this, and screaming
                                       for answers like they are from Berger.

                                             We deserve the truth...
                             Posted by: The Theorist on Jul 26, 04 | 11:41 am | Profile

                             [5] comments (300 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                              Another Sad Story
Lori Hacking trusted her husband, and he deceived her (it seems). I am utterly amazed that this kind of situation
  has happened again (is Mark Hacking another Scott Peterson?). While I want to believe in the best of human
nature, it is becoming more and more difficult. While I still hope they find her alive, the longer she is gone, those
odds are less and less likely. Elizabeth Smart was a fluke. Unfortunately, when most other people go missing, they
          stay gone. Whatever the outcome, both of these families will have lost something very valuable.



                                                      More...
                                  Posted by: UziQ on Jul 26, 04 | 11:10 am | Profile

                            [23] comments (446 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                Hello Jugheads:

I am still onvacation today. I will return to work tomorrow... I will be
                   checking in throughout the day...
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 26, 04 | 7:05 am | Profile

                             [9] comments (372 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Sun Jul 25, 2004

                                        New Johnny Fubar Song Up:




                                     On   My Site
                                                I Burp I Fart I Drool
                                              (by Johnny Fubar 2004)

                                            I burp I fart and I drool
                                           Whenever I see your face
                                            I burp I fart and I droll
                                       When I see you I‘m always a disgrace

                                    It makes it kinda tough to get to know you
                                     It makes it kinda tough to get your name
                                    It makes it kind tough to get your number
                                    But I think I‘ll still try to take you home…

                                            I wheeze I choke and cough
                                          Whenever you‘re in the same room
                                             I wheeze I choke I cough
                                          Whenever you‘re in the same room
                                 It makes it kinda tough to get to know you
                                  It makes it kinda tough to get your name
                                 It makes it kind tough to get your number
                                 But I think I‘ll still try to take you home…

                                       I smell I stink I don‘t shower
                                        Because I live in a hippy van
                                       I smell I stink I don‘t shower
                                        Because I live in a hippy van

                                               [Solo Break]
                                             G A G A G A GDA

                                       I burp I fart I‘m rarely sober
                                    I guess I‘ll never ever see your place
                                        I smell I stink I don‘t shower
                                     I‘m really such a terrible disgrace

                                 It makes it kinda tough to get to know you
                                  It makes it kinda tough to get your name
                                 It makes it kind tough to get your number
                                 But I think I‘ll still try to take you home…

                              Yeah it makes it kinda tough to get to know you
                                 It makes it kinda tough to get your name
                                It makes it kind tough to get your number
                                But I think I‘ll still try to take you home…
                              Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 25, 04 | 2:41 pm | Profile

                          [2] comments (284 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                     Lance Armstrong sticks it to the French AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!
Cancer survivor and consummate cyclist Lance Armstrong has won his sixth Tour de France!!!!!! Now he gets to
                                hang out with Cheryl Crow. Poor bastard....




                          Posted by: DaneBramage on Jul 25, 04 | 12:16 pm | Profile

                          [4] comments (291 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks
                                         Sat Jul 24, 2004

                                             From FB's dad:




                              Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 24, 04 | 4:47 pm | Profile

                         [2] comments (266 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                         Fri Jul 23, 2004

                               I Don't Know Why This Bothers Me
Why can't Dubya just accept some blame? I'm only referring to the black vote. Nothing else in this post. He
               blames the GOP, not himself, for not having the support of Black America.

           Why can't he say he is wrong? Isn't he a normal human who can make mistakes?
                                Posted by: cj on Jul 23, 04 | 3:36 pm | Profile

                         [8] comments (294 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Life equals Ass
                                 I don't know where this originated, but I sure agree:

"Life is all about ass; you're either covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece
                                              of it, or behaving like one."




                                  Posted by: FloridaBill on Jul 23, 04 | 2:43 pm | Profile

                              [10] comments (328 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                          OOPS
                                                    Left at Applebees:

One attorney who road with two others for a luncheon. If you see her please call the office. If not able to call, just
                          drop her into the nearest mailbox. We will pay for shipping.
                                      Posted by: cj on Jul 23, 04 | 1:08 pm | Profile

                               [5] comments (281 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                            Murphy's Combat Infantryman's Laws of Vietnam
            For Those Who Fought For Freedom, Freedom Has A Flavor The Protected Will Never Know

                                                  1. You are not Superman!
                                                2. Recoilless Rifles - aren't.
                                                 3. Suppressive fire - won't
                                      4. If it's stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
                                        5. Don't look conspicuous - it draws fire.
                                 6. Never draw fire - it irritates everyone around you.
                                         7. When in doubt, empty the magazine.
                              8. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
                                    9. Your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
                                    10. If your attack is going well, it is an ambush.
                           11. If you can't remember, the claymore is pointed toward you.
                                 12. All five second grenade fuses are three seconds.
                                13. Try to look unimportant. They may be low on ammo.
                         14. If you are forward of your position, the artillery will be short.
                             15. The enemy diversion you are ignoring is the main attack.
                                             16. The easy way is always mined.
                                        17. The important things are very simple.
                                           18. The simple things are very hard.
                        19. If you are short of everything except enemy, you are in combat.
                                      20. No OPLAN survives first contact intact.
                        21. When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
                                          22. Incoming fire has the right-away.
                                 23. No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.
                                    24. No inspection unit has ever passed combat.
                         25. Teamwork is essential. It gives them other people to shoot at.
                                         26. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
                                     27. Beer math is 2 beers X 37 men = 49 cases.
                          28. Body count math is 2 VC + 1 NVA + 1 water buffalo = 37 KIA.
                                                  29. Friendly fire - isn't.
                           30. Anything you do can get you shot - including doing nothing.
                          31. Make it tough for the enemy to get in and you can't get out.
                                               32. Tracers work both ways.
                      33. The only thing more accurate than incoming fire is incoming friendly.
                          34. Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately.
       35. If you take more than your fair share of objectives, you will have more than your share to take.
                    36. Both sides are convinced they are about to lose - they are both right.
                       37. Professionals are predictable - but the world is full of amateurs.
                                              38. Murphy was a grunt

                                    Posted by: cj on Jul 23, 04 | 12:24 pm | Profile

                             [0] comments (238 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        No Tag gets owner in trouble
           A gentlemen who coined the vanity plate "NOTAG" got hit with hundreds of dollars in fines.

                                              I think it is awesome too.

                                                        More...
                                Posted by: FloridaBill on Jul 23, 04 | 11:15 am | Profile

                             [2] comments (284 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                               ALLAH IS GREAT!
We know from the 9-11 Commission Report that the ‗‘pilot‘‘ of the doomed flight that crashed into the Pennsylvania
countryside was repeatedly hollering ‗‘Allah is great! Allah is great!‘‘ as the coward plunged the plane to the ground
   (because the passengers were about to enter the cockpit and take his putrid ass out. I wish I could see the
   bastard now; no virgins to have his way with, no rewards, no Allah. Just Satan with a big fat grin on his face,
        staring right at him and his evil, nasty cohorts, saying,‘‘your asses are mine now, motherfuckers!‘‘
                                 Posted by: Dirkbag on Jul 23, 04 | 10:20 am | Profile

                             [4] comments (301 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             JUST STOP IT OKAY
   I have been getting leg cramps lately and I'm blaming it on Mike. He won't stop grabbing my ass when I get up
from the couch. When he grabs me it which makes my ass squeeze tight inadvertently and is causing my leg muscles
 to hurt. My ankle even hurts today because when I got up to get a beer last night the grab happened and I jerked
 around to slap him which caused me to hit my ankle on the coffee table. I'm writing this because other ladies out
  there might be experiencing the same leg pains. I recommend wearing a steel plate over the ass to prevent the
                                              squeeze tight syndrome.
                                    Posted by: cj on Jul 23, 04 | 9:28 am | Profile

                             [11] comments (349 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                  MACHINE TO BEHEAD TERRORISTS
The perfect tool to behead terrorists was discovered last night. I personally sat ten feet from this thing when it
 had to cross the road and worried I would be beheaded or crushed if something went wrong. It's amazing how
             efficient it operated, but sad how many livelihoods were affected when it powered up!
                                    Posted by: cj on Jul 23, 04 | 9:03 am | Profile

                             [2] comments (265 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                   Yarbz PhotoShop While On Vacation:
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 23, 04 | 7:59 am | Profile

                             [4] comments (280 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                             Thu Jul 22, 2004

                                    SETTING THE RECORD STAIGHT
I have said all along the Berger needs to pay for what he did. I have also said all along that whoever leaked Valerie
  Plame's name to the press needs to pay as well. But here is a nice little piece of gossip about the Berger/Kerry
                                                     conection.

 According to the conservative website GOPUSA.com, just after the whole thing became public, Kerry's website
took down somw info about his anti-terrorism plans. If this turns out to be true, than Kerry has more than a little
                                                explaining to do.

                                  Oh, I bet a few of you just came in your pants.
                              Posted by: The Theorist on Jul 22, 04 | 5:58 pm | Profile

                             [5] comments (294 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                   From The "Things That Are Important To Know" Department:

LONDON - Almost 1 in 5 German adults — or 17 percent — believe
the point of drinking is to get drunk, according to a survey released
                             Wednesday.

 Only 8 percent of Britons drink to become stupefied, according to
           the survey by Mintel, a market research firm.
"Drinking can be more of a low-key social event in Britain than some
  may have believed," said Michelle Strutton, consumer analyst at
  Mintel. "Although Germans may not go drinking as often as the
     British, when they do drink, many do want to get drunk."

   The average German adult drank 255 pints of beer last year, 35
     more pints than his British counterpart, the survey found.

 Mintel's survey of 35,000 consumers covered France, Italy, Spain,
                        Germany and Britain.

Spain, the third-largest consumer, was the fastest-growing market
 for beer, but Italy was likely to overtake it. Beer consumption in
               Spain grew by 17 percent since 1998.

France's consumption was down 13 percent since 1998, though sales
            of premium beers were holding their own.

Britain has the highest percentage of beer drinkers in Europe, with
        61 percent of adults — including 82 percent of men.

  In the United States, annual consumption per person in 2002 was
          around 175 pints, according to industry figures.
                                Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 22, 04 | 9:08 am | Profile

                            [5] comments (302 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                         Marines doing their job.


Mr. Insurgent, Meet Mr. Jarhead. Mr.
           Insurgent, Die!
  BAGHDAD, Iraq — U.S. Marines killed 25 insurgents and captured 25 others during several hours of fierce
  fighting in Ramadi (search), a hotbed of insurgents battling U.S. and Iraqi forces, the American military said
                                                    Thursday.

The fighting Wednesday in Ramadi, 70 miles west of Baghdad, wounded 14 U.S. servicemen, but none sustained life
               threatening injuries and 10 have returned to duty, according to a Marine statement.



                                             Story Link
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 22, 04 | 8:04 am | Profile

                            [0] comments (231 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                              What a dumbass:


  Some people have far too much time and money...
        This guy is a raving insane maniac...




 Caption: Ben Cohen, co-founder of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream, demonstrates the set up on a 12-foot-tall effigy of
     President Bush with fake flames shooting out his pants on Tuesday, July 20, 2004, in Spokane Wash. The
 "PantsOnFire-Mobile'' is a trailer pulled behind a car. The Bush character is wearing a flight suit with the words
"Mission Accomplished'' emblazoned on the back, a reference to the president's declaration that major hostilities
    had ended in Iraq. An electronic ticker on the front shows what Cohen says are Bush's lies. The Traveling
 'PantsOnFire-Mobile' is touring nationwide, with its next stop in Seattle in two weeks. (AP Photo/Jeff T. Green)
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 22, 04 | 6:16 am | Profile

                            [8] comments (314 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                       Yarbz Morning Photo Caption:
  Hillary Walk Upright for First Time,
          Godzilla Surrenders!




Yarbz Caption: Hillary Clinton, who is said to have a smelly internal poe poe, walks upright while visiting friends in
the zoo. Clinton, who has been referred to as "that hairy ape that stinks like an unwashed donkey dick" told the
  media that she has only had one external poe poe in her internal poe poe and that resulted in the Orangutan,
                                      Chelsea. She prefers internal poe poe's.

 Original Caption: Natasha, a 5-year-old black macaque walks at the Safari Park near Tel Aviv Tuesday July 20,
2004. The young monkey began recently walking exclusively on her hind legs after a stomach ailment nearly killed
                                   her, zookeepers said. (AP Photo/Eli Dasa)
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 22, 04 | 6:04 am | Profile

                             [1] comments (223 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                            Wed Jul 21, 2004

                                             CRYIN LIKE A BABY
  Seems that John Kerry and his Band of Babies are crying fowl over the Sandy Berger "leak". Seems that they
don't like the timing of it. Oh so sad. Maybe Kerry can cry big ole horse tears into his big ole horse pillow when he
                                         goes to the stable for some shuteye.

                                                    Saddle up...
                              Posted by: The Theorist on Jul 21, 04 | 9:07 pm | Profile
                             [5] comments (305 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                        BUSH FAMILY FUN FACTS
    It seems that Riggs Bank has agreed to pay $25,000,000 to the SEC after being investigated for money
    laundering. You may say, "Whats the big deal?". Well the big deal is that the President and CEO of Riggs
Investments in Jonathan J. Bush. Seems that Riggs bank was funneling millions of dollars for the Saudi Embassy. (
 Wall Street Joural) According to the Washongton Post, Princess Haifa al-Faisal "...used a Riggs acount to donate
money to a charity that then gave some of it to the Sept. 11 terrorists." Nice. Just in case you are wondering who
 Jonathan J Bush is, he is Goerge H.W. Bush's brother and our Presidents uncle. If we as a counrty are going to
                            hold people accountable it shouldn't matter who they are.

So lets see here, George Walker and Prescott Bush were both found guilty under the Trading with the Enemy Act
 for there rolls in funding the Nazi war machine. George H.W. Bush ran the Iran-Contra sceme and put Saddam in
  power. Neil Bush Cost US taxpayers 1 BILLION dollars in the Silverton S&L bailout and was found guilty, among
 other things. Marvin Bush was CEO of Stratesec, which suppied the security for Los Alamos Labs when the had a
 bunch of classified documents stolen. Stratesec also supplied security to Dulles Airport, United Airlines and The
 World Trade Center. Jeb Bush paid $500,000 in fines for his roll in an S&L bailout, while US taxpayer payed the
 rest. George Bush failed in EVERY buisness he ever started, and was under investigation for insider trading when
his daddy was President, but nothing happened. HMMM. And now Jonathan J Bush and his bank just paid the single
           largest fine EVER given by the SEC, and let the Saudi Royal family give money to terrorists.

I am amazed to this day how my beloved Repulican Party can continue to support the Bush family given their history
                      of not only screwing the US taxpayer, but of supporting our enemies.

                            Maybe Jonathan J Bush and Sandy Berger can share a cell.
                              Posted by: The Theorist on Jul 21, 04 | 8:23 pm | Profile

                             [6] comments (660 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                      No such thing as liberal media?
                                                    Think again.
                                 Posted by: Trench on Jul 21, 04 | 2:46 pm | Profile

                             [7] comments (329 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                         More Wonderful Commies:
                                     From the Communists that the left loves:

                                        Bad hair day for Vietnamese arts

    Vietnam is to bar performing artists with shaved heads or dyed and unkempt hair from appearing on stage.

  Regulation 47 bans "hairstyles which inflict horror, painted or dyed hair, shaved heads or long, uncombed hair".

      The ban, announced by the ministry of culture last week, also tackles "revealing performance outfits".

  The communist country - which censors public performances - says the measure will contribute to Vietnamese
                                       traditional identity in the arts.

                                                 The whole Story
                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 21, 04 | 2:25 pm | Profile

                             [9] comments (329 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                              Stunning New Poll!:
  New poll shows an incredible number
  (40%) of Canadian teens have their
    heads at least 12" up their ass!
                                             Poll Story!
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 21, 04 | 12:07 pm | Profile

                            [8] comments (302 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                      Thank the Philipeans for this:
                                               Pee on the Philipeans:

                                 Iraq Group Threatens to Kill 6 New Hostges

  DUBAI (Reuters) - An Iraqi group threatened in a video tape aired Wednesday to kill six hostages from India,
Kenya and Egypt if the Kuwaiti company they worked for did not pull out from Iraq, Al Arabiya television reported.

  The Dubai-based television aired the tape of what it said were the masked captors and their hostages as they
demanded that the company leave Iraq. They also demanded that India, Kenya and Egypt withdraw their personnel
                                                   from Iraq.
                                 Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 21, 04 | 10:48 am | Profile

                            [3] comments (375 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                              Holy Jesus, Jesus!


  Jesus Kicks All Form of Ass as Ninja
          Warrior Son of God!
          You will believe in me or I will kick your girlie man asses!
                                            Milking the profit machine...

                                                     Vicale Corp

                                                      HB0041
                                        Talking Jesus Christ Action Figure
                                 Play the sound clip from our Talking Jesus Christ

   12" action figure dressed as shown in image (staff & sandals not included). Talking Jesus Christ action figure
                                           recites the 10 commandments.
                                                       $34.95

                                  Posted by: Yarbz on Jul 21, 04 | 8:44 am | Profile

                             [10] comments (363 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                   IS THIS ->
                           who I think it is? Why yes it is. Presenting Dubya's daughter!
                                    Posted by: cj on Jul 21, 04 | 8:35 am | Profile

                             [2] comments (245 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

                                                  Head Hunting
Authorities are waiting on Paul M. Johnson Jr.'s family to identify his head that was found in a freezer. The grizzly
 discovery may be closure for the family, but let us hope that the investigation will reveal more about his killers.

     I hope the chicken shits who have beheaded innocent people are caught and appropriately exterminated!
                                    Posted by: cj on Jul 21, 04 | 8:05 am | Profile

                             [8] comments (318 views) | [0] Trackbacks [0] Pingbacks

								
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