Architecture Templates by uny67653

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									                               Business Case and Roadmap for Completing IPv6 Adoption in US Government -- Comments Matrix
                    Specific                 Proposed Change
Agency   Chapter                                                                                      Rationale             Theme
                   Reference          (including suggested language)




                                                                       Page 1 of 9
          Agency
         Comment             Specific
          Number             Referenc             Proposed
Agency             Chapter      e         Type     Change Rationale Theme
                                                                     The
                                                                     ODNI
                                                                     prefers to
                                                                     use the
                                                                     IC-
                                                                     extended
                                                           Add       FEA
                                                           "agency- reference
                                                           profiled" models,
                                                           BRM and which
                                                           “agency- better
                                        a.                 profiled” clarify the
                                        Invest,            SRM to    categoriza
                                        page 6,            the       tion to IC
                                        (Also              reference mission
                                        affects            to FEA    and
                                        Section            BRM and business
DNI       1.       CIO       3 and 8    8.1.5)           1 SRM.      functions
                                                                     In the
                                                                     future,
                                                                     ODNI
                                        3.5                          intends to
                                        Invest,                      direct
                                        page 6             Replace agencies
                                        and                BRM "or to provide
                                        Section            "SRM;     "both"
                                        8.1.5,             with BRM BRM
                                        page 27            "and"     "and"
DNI       2.       CIO       3 and 8    and 28           1 SRM.      SRM
                                              The new
                                              descriptiv
                                              e terms
                                              for BRM
                                              are not
                                              consistent
                                               with the
                                              FEA
                                              Consolidat
                                              ed
                                              Reference
                                               Model
                                              (Version
                                              2.3)
                                              which
                                              defines
                                              BRM as
                                              “facilitatin
                                              ga
                   4.1, page                  functional
                   10,          In Section    (rather
                   Paragraph    4.1,          than
                    "The        eliminate     organizati
                   Business     the term      onal)
                   Reference    "compreh      view”.
                    Mode        ensive        Please
                   (BRM)        blueprint",   clarify
                   provides      replace      OMB’s
                   a            with          intent in
                   comprehe     "functional   this
                   nsive                      revision,
                   blueprint    taxonomy"     for
DNI   3.   CIO   4 etc.        1.             example,
                                              The
                                              concern
                                              here is
                                              that the
                                              word
                                              formulate
                                              is less
                                              than
                                              manage
                                              and the
                                              activity
                                              here is
                                              much
                                 Replace      than just
                                 the word     to
                                 formulate    formulate.
                                 with           This
                                 manage       graphic
                                 both in      parallels
                                 the text     the
                                 “…of         Compone
                                 strategize   nt
                                 –            Business
                                 formulate    Model
                                 –            (CBM)
                                 execute,     that has
                   P.4           …” and in    been
                   paragraph     the          implement
                   1 and         graphic      ed in the
DNI   4.   CIO   3 graphic     2 bubble.      IC.
                                              “Calibrate”
                                               and
                                              “Instrume
                                              nt” as
                                “Calibrate    transitive
                   Sec 3.7      or            verbs are
                   Paragraph    instrument    not
DNI   5.   CIO   3 3 (p. 7)    2”             synonymo
                                 To further
                                 add value
                                 and
                                 understan
                                 d of the
                                 last
                                 sentence
                                 concernin
                                 g the
                                 linkage, it   “Line of
                                 perhaps       sight”
                                 would be      terminolog
                                 prudent       y is very
                                 to state      clear and
                                 additionall   easily
                                 y that this   understan
                                 linkage is    dable to
                   Sec 4.1       the Line      many
                   third         of Sight      people
                   paragraph     between       from
                    from the     inputs        varying
                   bottom        and           audiences
DNI   6.   CIO   4 (p. 10)     2 outputs       .
                                             EAAF
                                             V2.2 has
                                             this
                                             property,
                                             that each
                                             level is a
                                             concise
                                             statement
                                             of all of
                                             the
                                             relevant
                                             requireme
                                             nts. This
                                             change
                                             will result
                                             in much
                                             clearer
                                             guidance,
                                             improving
                                             the
                                             quality of
                                             EA
                                             assessme
                                  Please     nts,
                                  make       increasing
                                  each of     the
                                  the EA     complianc
                                  capability e of
                                  levels a   agency
                   All tables     standalon EA
                   defining       e set of   programs,
                   Levels 1       requireme and
DNI   7.   CIO   8 through 5    2 nts.       communic
                                             Question -
                                              When
                                             will the
                                             segment
                                             architectur
                   Executive                 e practice
                   Summary,       [QUESTI guidance
DNI   8.   CIO   1 page 2       3 ON]        and
                                               This is
                                               not a
                                               correct
                                               quote.
                                               The first
                                               sentence
                                               of the
                                 Either        quote is
                                 identify      correct;
                                 the           the
                                 particular    second
                                 citation      sentence
                                 for the       of the
                                 quote,        quote is
                                 that is to    not, nor
                                 say, give     does it
                                 a citation    correspon
                                 of which      d as
                                 version of    specificall
                                 the A-130     y
                                 circular is   following
                                 being         the first
                                 reference     sentence
                                 d, or         as the
                                 correct       quote
                                 the           would
                                 quotation     imply.”
                                 tor reflect   (cf. 8 -
                                 the           Policy
                                 current       paragraph
                   Sec. 3.4      citation.      “b”
                   Paragraph     [See          subsectio
DNI   9.   CIO   3 4 (p.6)     3 rationale].   n (1).
                                   Measure
                                   Assess
                                   and
                                   Improve
                                   sentence
                                   “The
                                   applicatio
                                   n of
                                   enterprise

                                   architectur
                                   e
                                   planning
                                   as a
                                   managem
                                   ent
                                   discipline
                                   can
                                   confer a
                                   cross-      This is an
                                   cutting     issue of
DNI   10.   CIO   3 p.7          3 impact….” clarity.

                                             Reverse
                                             the
                                             position
                                             of
                                             paragraph
                                             s to
                                             correspon
                                             d with the
                    Sec 4.1                  graphic,
                    first full               and that
                    paragraph      Paragraph is the
                     and            order    DRM
                    second         disconnec comes
                    paragraph      ted from before
DNI   11.   CIO   4 (p. 11)      3 graphic   the TRM.
                                                Does it
                                                stand to
                                                reason to
                                                add this
                                                link since
                                                the
                                                document
                                                is
                                                focused
                                                on and
                                                details
                                                FEA
                                                Assessme
                                                nt
                                                Framewor
                                                k?
                                                Perhaps
                                                adding it
                                                here or
                                                somewher
                                                e in the
                                   Add link:    executive
                                   http://www   summary
                                   .whitehou    as a
                                   se.gov/om    quick
                                   b/egov/a-    reference
                                   2-           to the
                    Links on       EAAssess     other
DNI   12.   CIO   6 p. 18        3 ment.html    resources


                                                It makes
                                                for more
                                   There is     difficult
                                   no           reading
                                   subject in   without
                                   these        good
                                   sentences    sentence
                                    that        constructi
                                   begin        on. It
                                   “Measure     could
                    Sec            s…” If       also work
                    8.2.3, the     this         as a
                    “Descripti     meant be     bulleted
                    on             a bulleted   list.
                    Paragraph      list of      Perhaps,
                    ” last         actions it   that is the
                    three          should be    better
                    sentences      made         route to
DNI   13.   CIO   8 (p.31)       3 one.         go?

								
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