Business Case and Roadmap for Completing IPv6 Adoption in US Government -- Comments Matrix Specific Proposed Change Agency Chapter Rationale Theme Reference (including suggested language) Page 1 of 9 Agency Comment Specific Number Referenc Proposed Agency Chapter e Type Change Rationale Theme The ODNI prefers to use the IC- extended Add FEA "agency- reference profiled" models, BRM and which “agency- better a. profiled” clarify the Invest, SRM to categoriza page 6, the tion to IC (Also reference mission affects to FEA and Section BRM and business DNI 1. CIO 3 and 8 8.1.5) 1 SRM. functions In the future, ODNI 3.5 intends to Invest, direct page 6 Replace agencies and BRM "or to provide Section "SRM; "both" 8.1.5, with BRM BRM page 27 "and" "and" DNI 2. CIO 3 and 8 and 28 1 SRM. SRM The new descriptiv e terms for BRM are not consistent with the FEA Consolidat ed Reference Model (Version 2.3) which defines BRM as “facilitatin ga 4.1, page functional 10, In Section (rather Paragraph 4.1, than "The eliminate organizati Business the term onal) Reference "compreh view”. Mode ensive Please (BRM) blueprint", clarify provides replace OMB’s a with intent in comprehe "functional this nsive revision, blueprint taxonomy" for DNI 3. CIO 4 etc. 1. example, The concern here is that the word formulate is less than manage and the activity here is much Replace than just the word to formulate formulate. with This manage graphic both in parallels the text the “…of Compone strategize nt – Business formulate Model – (CBM) execute, that has P.4 …” and in been paragraph the implement 1 and graphic ed in the DNI 4. CIO 3 graphic 2 bubble. IC. “Calibrate” and “Instrume nt” as “Calibrate transitive Sec 3.7 or verbs are Paragraph instrument not DNI 5. CIO 3 3 (p. 7) 2” synonymo To further add value and understan d of the last sentence concernin g the linkage, it “Line of perhaps sight” would be terminolog prudent y is very to state clear and additionall easily y that this understan linkage is dable to Sec 4.1 the Line many third of Sight people paragraph between from from the inputs varying bottom and audiences DNI 6. CIO 4 (p. 10) 2 outputs . EAAF V2.2 has this property, that each level is a concise statement of all of the relevant requireme nts. This change will result in much clearer guidance, improving the quality of EA assessme Please nts, make increasing each of the the EA complianc capability e of levels a agency All tables standalon EA defining e set of programs, Levels 1 requireme and DNI 7. CIO 8 through 5 2 nts. communic Question - When will the segment architectur Executive e practice Summary, [QUESTI guidance DNI 8. CIO 1 page 2 3 ON] and This is not a correct quote. The first sentence of the Either quote is identify correct; the the particular second citation sentence for the of the quote, quote is that is to not, nor say, give does it a citation correspon of which d as version of specificall the A-130 y circular is following being the first reference sentence d, or as the correct quote the would quotation imply.” tor reflect (cf. 8 - the Policy current paragraph Sec. 3.4 citation. “b” Paragraph [See subsectio DNI 9. CIO 3 4 (p.6) 3 rationale]. n (1). Measure Assess and Improve sentence “The applicatio n of enterprise architectur e planning as a managem ent discipline can confer a cross- This is an cutting issue of DNI 10. CIO 3 p.7 3 impact….” clarity. Reverse the position of paragraph s to correspon d with the Sec 4.1 graphic, first full and that paragraph Paragraph is the and order DRM second disconnec comes paragraph ted from before DNI 11. CIO 4 (p. 11) 3 graphic the TRM. Does it stand to reason to add this link since the document is focused on and details FEA Assessme nt Framewor k? Perhaps adding it here or somewher e in the Add link: executive http://www summary .whitehou as a se.gov/om quick b/egov/a- reference 2- to the Links on EAAssess other DNI 12. CIO 6 p. 18 3 ment.html resources It makes for more There is difficult no reading subject in without these good sentences sentence that constructi begin on. It “Measure could Sec s…” If also work 8.2.3, the this as a “Descripti meant be bulleted on a bulleted list. Paragraph list of Perhaps, ” last actions it that is the three should be better sentences made route to DNI 13. CIO 8 (p.31) 3 one. go?
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