Top Ten Things to Know about Your Teen by RyezaLieve

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									       Top Ten Things to Know about Your Teen



If you live with a teen you’ve probably wished, at some point, that they came
with a good set of instructions and warning labels. Or, you may have even
wondered why no one ever told you that it would be this hard. If they had you
might not have contemplated having children at all. Instead, as a parent, you
muddle through their teen years as your remember what you were like in
hopes of finding some entry into their head. This can be detrimental due to
our selective memories and lack of understanding that things were much
different way back when.

Your goal as a parent is to build, or maintain, a relationship with your child
and so you must learn their language and step into their adolescent
environment. After working with teens for over two decades I’ve seen what
works and what doesn’t work in gaining entry into their world and keeping
their trust. I’ve compiled what I think are the most important concepts to
master into a top ten list.

1. Teens are growing physically, emotionally, socially and spiritually – This
looks different for each person. Give them room to grow and find ways to
encourage them emotionally. Guide them socially, but carefully, and allow
them to entertain ideas about spirituality (what is my role here, who made all
of this, does anyone really care, etc.).
2. Teens want more responsibility – Believe it or not, they want boundaries
and the responsibility to act within them. Give them opportunities to be
challenged.

3. Teens want your trust – If you give them something to do then trust that
they will do it, and do it well. Don’t let your facial expressions or body
language be a discouragement .

4. Give them room to fail – Through failure they learn. Encourage them to
keep on going and try again.

5. Don’t plan their successes – Let them be responsible for these and step
back. As parents, it is hard to let the chicks fly, but it must be done. When
everyone is a winner, no one is a winner.

6. Let them take risks – The trust factor enters in here as well. Let them try
things for themselves. Risk taking generates passions and direction in life.
You, as a parent, have a keen sense into what your child is able to handle in
the way of risks. Don’t be pressured or fooled by risks that should be saved for
a later date.

7. Teens like to have your input – Believe it or not, your voice is important
in their lives. Speak often and don’t walk away.

8. Teens need and desire adult input – Parents, relatives, teachers,
administrators, or youth leaders; anyone that actually cares about them and
plays an active role in their life.
9. Teens are excited about life – Their world begins to open up as they learn
and experience new things. Don’t squelch this excitement by warnings of your
past experiences.

10. Teens are beginning to formulate their dreams – With risk taking,
responsibility, and trust they begin to see their strengths and weaknesses and
ideas for their role in the world. This is the beginning of dream formation.
Encourage it as much and as often as you can.

You can both survive and build a great relationship if you pay attention to
your child's changing world and their changing role. It's an exciting time of
learning and growth and you can be a part of encouraging development in all
areas of their life.

								
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