Foiled Again_ The Attack Of The Citizen Killers

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Foiled Again_ The Attack Of The Citizen Killers Powered By Docstoc
					by: Tom Attea

Thanks to British intelligence, with a little help from a wise and noble Muslim informer, another
attack by Al-Qaeda has been foiled. And just in the turban of time. As you know, the suspects
had recently received a coded message from Pakistan, where the authorities were closing in on
the criminal minds, to "attack now."

If our success rate at foiling Al-Qaedas demonic plots continues, this mad band of citizen killers
may have to rename themselves Alibi.

Yet our preparedness on the home front is not as thorough as we would hope. Although The
Department Of Homeland Security has hardened cockpit doors and screens for guns and knives,
experts say it has accomplished little against plastic and liquid explosives, along with bombs in
air cargo and shoulder-fired missiles.

Some maintain that the nation is still at risk from the same failure of imagination cited by the
9/11 commission. They are reactive, not proactive, stated Randall J. Larsen, a retired colonel in
the Air Force who is the chairman of the military strategy department at the National War
College in Washington.

For Pakistan, helping to thwart the plan is problematic. While General Pervez Musharaff can
show off his countrys role as a key ally in the war on terror, the fact that the plan was apparently
initiated there confirms that Pakistan is still operations central for terrorists.

The plot was "intended to be mass murder on an unimaginable scale," Metropolitan Police
Deputy Commissioner Paul Stephenson said in London and was evidently the sicko groups way
to celebrate the upcoming 5th mournful year since 9/11.

The chemical compost to achieve the disaster involved normally non-hazmat liquids that, when
combined, could be detonated with an electrical charge even from an MP3 player or a cell phone.
(Too bad Floyd Landis didnt know of the explosive possibilities of these ingredients, because he
could have figured out a new and unsuspected additive to help him rocket to the lead in the Tour
De France.)

What are we to make of the madmen who would perpetrate such evil schemes? If solders in the
traditional sense might wear the red badge of courage, these guys ought to pin on the yellow
badge of cowardice.

And, worse yet, the dupes think theyre off to a heavenly reward for the assaults. (Dont miss our
Spoof Of The Week, Al-Qaeda In Hell, Or Allah's Surprising Ingratitude, in which they get an
unexpectedly heated reward.)

And imagine! Fifty or so of the killer loons were involved in the hard-boiled plot. And, by the
way, congratulations, women! So far we havent heard of a female among them.
President Bush leaped to the mikes to make political hay, saying the arrests are a "stark
reminder" that the U.S. is "at war with Islamic fascists." Were sure the appellation Islamic
fascists won high praise in minarets around the world.

US Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff noted with his usual insight that the plan was
"suggestive of an al Qaeda plot." He then vowed to handle the tense development as effectively
as he did the Katrina debacle.

Would-be air travelers, in a willing, if trying, effort not to be blown up, have dealt with the
resultant inconveniences attendant to safe flight with general equanimity. They have faced such
distressing announcements as, "Due to the nature of the threat revealed by this investigation, we
are prohibiting any liquids, including beverages, hair gels, and lotions from being carried on the

Since two of the plotters flew to Pakistan to pick up a check to fund the disaster, we suspect even
more credibly that Osama Bin Laden is hiding out somewhere in the relatively civilized environs
of Karachi, where he can get the medical care he apparently needs for his failing kidneys and
other ailments.

We surely could use an informer to let us know where the mad, mad mogul is.

But there is one thing we dont need an informer to tell us. Among his sequestered holdings, Bin
Laden obviously doesnt count airline stock.

This article was posted on September 05, 2006

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