3rd Grade, Language Arts Mary Ruebusch McCurdy School
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OBJECTIVE: The learner will practice and review revising and editing. ACTIVITY: The students will read and revise a piece written by a 3rd grade student.
Warning: This show contains intentional errors!
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PROCEDURE: 1. Click to move through these slides. Read the entire piece. 2. Then discuss and journal questions and problems found in the story. 3. The next set of slides has a revised, but unedited story. 4. The students may use the pen to mark corrections or you may wish them to journal.
Read this unedited story by Brad, a third grader.
How Tanner lost his tooth They were playing soccer because they had a game. And Tanner’s team was winning one to nothing.
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Tanner blocked a shot and kicked the ball far away from the goal. Tanner looked like he had two black eyes. But he said he just didn’t get enough sleep. Then Ryan stoled the ball and then he passed to Tanner.
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Tanner wasn’t paying attention and the ball hit him in the mouth. Tanner lost his tooth. The End. Make a list of questions that you have after reading this story.
Some questions you might have are--
How old are Tanner and Ryan? Why did the author include the part about the two black eyes? What happened after Tanner lost his tooth?
What are your questions?
With a partner make up a story about the soccer game. Use the facts that Brad gave you and make up the parts that are missing from the story.
Brad has revised his story, but he still needs help with editing. As you read his story, use the pen to mark parts that need correction.
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How Tanner lost his tooth
My friends Tanner, Ryan, and Zach and Kyle were playing soccer on saturday morning. It was a important game. Tanner looked tired like he had too black eyes. The rest of the team looked ready to play. Continue
Pen
Tanners team was winning one to nothing. Suddenly Tanner blocked a shot and kicked the ball far away from the goal. Then Ryan stoled the ball and passed it to Tanner.
continue
Tanner wasn’t paying attentiion and the ball hit him in the mouth. Tanner yelled and we all ran to him. When he opened his moth we saw that his tooth was missing. Tanner drank some water and sat down for a wile. Later he fininhed the game. His team won. It was a very lucky tooth.
A good story has…… ... an effective beginning, middle, and end. … a clear, controlling idea. … clearly addresses the topic and provides specific, relevant details. …contains words that are specific, accurate, and suited to the topic. …contains few errors in grammar, punctuation, capitalization, and spelling.
The end