Dealing With Conflict by january

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Chapter

7

Dealing with Conflict

McGraw-Hill/Irwin

© 2008 The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved

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Interpersonal Dynamics
dynamics – are the give and take behavior between people during human relations  Interpersonal dynamics grow increasingly complex as more people interact
 Interpersonal

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Key Topics of Interpersonal Dynamics
Transactional Analysis
Assertiveness

Conflict Management

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Transactional Analysis (TA)
for determining how people interact  When we interact, behavior can be:
 passive  aggressive

 Method

 assertive


Performance is greater with this behavior

 TA

is a method of understanding behavior in interpersonal dynamics

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TA: Ego States
 Major

ego states that affect our behavior or the way we transact through communication:
 Parent


Ego State (P)

Critical parent  Sympathetic parent
 Child


Ego State (C)

Natural child  Adapted child
 Adult

Ego State (A)

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TA: Types of Transactions
 Within

ego states there are three different types of transactions:
Transactions  Crossed Transactions  Ulterior Transactions
 Complementary

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Complementary Transactions
 Occur

when the sender of the message gets the intended response from the receiver


Supervisor

Employee

P A C

P

Generally result in more effective communication

A
C

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Crossed Transactions
 Occur

when the sender of a message does not get the expected response from the receiver


Supervisor

Employee

P A C

P A C

These result in surprise, disappointment, and hurt feelings for the sender of the message

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Ulterior Transactions
 Occur

when the words seem to be coming from one ego state, but in reality the words or behaviors are coming from another
when people don’t know what they want or how to ask for it in a direct way, they resort to ulterior transactions  Best to avoid ulterior transactions because they tend to waste time
 Sometimes

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TA: Life Positions

Attitude toward Oneself

Positive

I’m OK – You’re not OK

I’m OK – You’re OK

Negative

I’m not OK – You’re not OK
Negative

I’m not OK – You’re OK
Positive
Exhibit 7.1

Attitude toward Others

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TA: Stroking
 Stroking

– any behavior that implies recognition of another’s presence
– make people feel good about themselves  Negative – can hurt people in some way
 Positive

 Giving

praise (positive stroking) is a powerful motivation technique

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Assertiveness
process of expressing thoughts and feelings while asking for what one wants in an appropriate way  Present your message without falling into the traps of being:
pushy” (aggressive)  “not tough enough” (nonassertive-passive)
 Is
 “too

 The

becoming more global

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Behaviors when dealing with a diversity of people:

Passive Behavior

Aggressive Behavior

Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Assertive Behavior

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Passive, Assertive, and Aggressive Speakers:
Passive speakers: Use self-limiting qualifying expressions without stating their position / needs

Assertive speakers:

State their position / needs without violating the rights of others

Aggressive speakers: State their position / needs while violating the rights of others using “you-messages” and absolutes

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Assertive Behavior
the most productive behavior  Usually the most effective method of getting what you want while not taking advantage of others  Being assertive can create a win-win situation
 Generally

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Assertiveness Steps
 Step  Step

1. Set an Objective:
what you want to accomplish

 Specify

2. Determine how to create a win-win situation:
 Assess

the situation in terms of meeting your needs and the other person’s needs

3. Develop an assertive phrase(s)  Step 4. Implement your plan persistently

 Step

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Anger and Violence in the Workplace
 Human

resources managers have reported increased violence between employees
 Women

commit nearly 25 percent of all threats or

attacks
 Violence

between outsiders and employees is increasing  1 million workers are assaulted every year  Anger can lead to violence

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Causes of Anger and Violence
 Intrapersonal
 e.g.,

causes:

frustration, stress, and fear

 Interpersonal

unresolved conflicts  Physical work environment:
 e.g.,

space to work, noise, odors, temperature, ventilation, and color

 Hostile

work environment

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Dealing with Your Anger
rational thinking  Look for positives  Look for the humor in the situation to help defuse the anger  Use assertive behavior  Develop a positive attitude about how you deal with anger  Use an anger journal
 Use

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Dealing with Anger of Others (1 of 2)
make any type of putdown statement  Don’t respond to anger and threats with the same behavior  Don’t give orders or ultimatums  Watch your nonverbal communication
 Never

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Dealing with Anger of Others (2 of 2)
that anger is natural and encourage people to vent in appropriate ways  Acknowledge the person’s feelings  Get away from the person if necessary
 Realize

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Signs of Potential Violence
verbal threats seriously  Watch nonverbal communication  Watch for stalking and harassment  Watch for damage to property
 Take

• Watch for indications of alcohol and drug use • Include the isolated employee • Look for the presence of weapons or objects that might be used as weapons

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Organizational Prevention of Violence (1 of 2)
 Train

all employees to deal with anger and prevent violence
A

written policy addressing workplace violence  Best preventive policy is a zero-tolerance policy

disciplinary action against employees who are violent at work  Managers need to avoid using aggression at work

 Quick

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Organizational Prevention of Violence (2 of 2)




Organizations can screen job applicants for past or potential violence Develop a good work environment that addresses the issues as causes of violence

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Individual Prevention of Violence
for escalating frustration and anger to defuse the situation before it becomes violent  Never be alone with a potentially violent person
stand between the person and the exit  Know when to get away from the person
 Never

 Look

aware of the organization’s policy for calling in security help  Report any troubling incidents to security staff

 Be

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Conflict
whenever two or more parties are in disagreement  Is inherent in an organizational system  Can increase as the workforce becomes more diverse  Dealing with it is part of emotional intelligence
 Exists

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Reasons for Conflict
 Communications

problems or conflicts arise for three primary reasons:
1.

2.

3.

We fail to make our expectations known to other parties We fail to find out the expectations of other parties We assume that the other parties have the same expectations that we have

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Conflict Has Benefits
can be beneficial  A balance of conflict is essential to all organizations  Too little or too much conflict is usually considered a sign of management’s unwillingness or inability to adapt to a diversified environment  Conflict can lead to improved performance, for example:
present methods  Presenting innovative change
 Challenging

 Conflict

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Conflict Management Styles

Exhibit 7.4

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Summary of Conflict Management Styles
Forcing Conflict Style: User attempts to resolve conflict by using aggressive behavior

Avoiding Conflict Style:

User attempts to passively ignore the conflict rather than resolve it

Accommodating Conflict User attempts to resolve conflict by passively giving Style: in to the other party Compromising Conflict Style: User attempts to resolve the conflict through assertive give-and-take concessions

Collaborating Conflict Style:

User assertively attempts to jointly resolve the conflict with the best solution agreeable to all parties. The problem-solving style

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Roles in Conflict Resolution
Initiator

Responder

Mediator

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Initiating Conflict Resolution
Step 1. Plan to maintain ownership of the problem using the XYZ model Step 2. Implement your plan persistently Step 3. Make an agreement for change

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The XYZ Model
 The

XYZ model describes a problem in terms of behavior, consequences, and feelings:
“When you do X (behavior), Y (consequences) happens, and I have Z (feelings).”

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Responding to Conflict Resolution
Step 1. Listen to and paraphrase the problem using the XYZ model Step 2. Agree with some aspect of the complaint Step 3. Ask for, and / or give, alternative solutions Step 4. Make an agreement for change

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Mediating Conflict Resolution
Step 1. Have each party state his or her complaint using the XYZ model Step 2. Agree on the problem(s) Step 3. Develop alternative solutions Step 4. Make an agreement for change and follow up

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Interpersonal Dynamics Styles

Exhibit 7.6

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Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics (1 of 3)
with the same personality type tend to get along better and have less conflict than those with different personality types  If you have a high surgency personality –
your use of the critical parent ego state  be sure to give lots of positive strokes to help human relations  be careful not to use aggressive behavior to get what you want
 watch

 People

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Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics (2 of 3)
 If

you have a high agreeableness personality,

 you

tend to get along well with others  be careful not to use the sympathetic parent ego state  watch the appropriate use of the child ego state
 Adjustment

– is about how well you deal with your emotions
 especially

anger

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Your Personality and Interpersonal Dynamics (3 of 3)
 There

is a relationship between adjustment and openness to experience
 If

you are not well adjusted, you are probably not open to experience

 If

you are a high conscientious personality, you can still transact from the parent or child ego state


								
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