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					Assertiveness
Chapter 15 Q=on Quiz

Assertiveness in Principle and Practice
• Assertiveness is a way of life that influences our interactions with others and our approach to dealing with problems/injustices that we perceive to be true ©. • Grid-see pp. 192-193--Q

Becoming Assertive
• Where do you fit? • To determine if you are responding assertively in a particular situation, ask yourself if you are part of the problem, or the solution.
• If we are unable to manage our affect, we are more likely to behave passively or aggressively. • If we are unable to manage our behavior, we are more likely to behave passively or aggressively. • If we are unable to manage our cognitions, we are more likely to behave passively or aggressively.

Changing Affect to become Assertive
• We need to identify and change the thoughts that underlie negative emotions. • When negative emotions interfere with assertive behavior, we need to learn how to turn on positive emotions. • Change techniques: relaxation, exercise, change techniques in chapter 9

Changing Behavior to Become Assertive (Q)
• Change techniques from chapter 10, specifically behavior mod, and imagined rehearsal • Use Assertive Communication—a method of speaking and listening that is respectful of oneself and others that keeps the lines of communication open. • Three examples are: • I Messages—a clear and specific statement of the problem from the speaker’s perspective with a suggested resolution—as opposed to the You Message that can turn into an argument. • See Steps for I messages on pp. 195-6.

Changing Behavior to Become Assertive (Q)
• Example 2—Active Listening • When I Messages are reacted to aggressively by another, communication can end. Active listening is a way of dialoguing that attempts to understand and reflect another’s feelings and attitudes while staying in control. • See steps and example on pp. 196-7 • Example 3—Verbal Defenses • Sometimes our assertiveness is responded to negatively, so we need defense mechanisms to stay in control: broken record, content-to-process shift, assertive delay, assertive inquiry, clouding—p. 198

Changing Cognition to Become Assertive
• We must have the skill to stop thoughts about ourselves, and others in order to change aggressive/passive situations. • Visualizing positive outcomes of being assertive can help us act assertively. • See change techniques in chapter 11.

So, Why are People Aggressive?
• Aggressive behavior seems to work by intimidating others • Aggression feels good temporarily. • Aggression is promoted by society. • Aggression is easier than assertiveness. • Aggression allows us to be comfortable with our own prejudices. • Aggression is motivated behavior.

So, Why be Assertive? (Q)
• The societal price of aggression • The personal price of aggression • The payoffs of assertiveness • Assertiveness is a choice • Weigh the outcomes—see Arnie, p. 202


				
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