Docstoc

Young Minds

Document Sample
Young Minds Powered By Docstoc
					Young Minds

In the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent and Merciful

Hadith

Abu Sa’id Khudri (RA) narrates that Rasulullah (SAW) said:
A believer’s thirst for KNOWLEDGE is never quenched. He

continues to hear and learn until he enters paradise (Tirmidhi).

Assertiveness Training

Presented By: Muddassir Nadeem A Associate IT Consultant (CRM - Siebel). ITC InfoTech Ltd.,

What is your response?
Problem 1: The Tickets
LaToya had two best friends, Lonnie and Tamika. They all liked the same rock group and were happy when LaToya's dad told her he would get three tickets for the next performance. LaToya was glad she could invite both Lonnie and Tamika because they were both good friends of hers and had done a lot of things for her in the past. However, at the last minute LaToya's dad could only get two tickets.

What is your response?
Problem 2: The Party
Susan was a 19-year-old actress from a small town. She had recently arrived in a larger city with the ambition to become a rich and famous film star. After going to several casting agencies, she managed to land a small part in a film. While working on the set, she met another actress, Debbie. Debbie told her about a party that night. She asked Susan to go and said they would probably meet lots of important people. Susan immediately agreed to go. At the party, Susan met a man who said he was a big film producer. He told her that he could help her get started on her career. She was really excited until he scooped some white powder into a small spoon. "Here,” he said. “Just breathe this in through your nose.”

What is your response?
Problem 3: A Rare Event
Sondra had just moved into her own apartment. She felt really good to be on her own at last. After she settled in, she invited her new boyfriend David over for dinner. She cooked a big roast and served it rare, just the way she thought meat should be served. But David never ate meat. He took one look at the roast and nearly gagged.

What is being Passive?

•A passive person may withdraw from a situation or let others choose his or her goal. This person usually gives in to others and often will not protest when his or her rights are violated.

What is being Aggressive?

•Being aggressive means standing up for yourself in ways that violate the rights of others.

•Aggressive behavior is typically punishing, hostile, blaming, and demanding. It can involve threats, name-calling, and even actual physical contact. It can also involve sarcasm, "slips of the tongue."

What is being Assertive?

•Standing up for your rights and not being taken advantage of is one definition of being assertive.

•It also means communicating what you really want in a clear fashion, respecting your own „rights and feelings‟ and the „rights and feelings‟ of others.
•Assertion is an honest and appropriate expression of one's feelings, opinions, and needs.

How Assertive are you?
Ask yourself these questions:
•Do you ask for help if you need it?

•Do you express anger and annoyance appropriately? •Do you ask questions when you're confused? •Do you volunteer your opinions when you think or feel differently from others? •Do you speak up in class fairly frequently?
•Are you able to say "no" when you don't want to do something? •Do you speak with a generally confident manner, communicating caring and strength? •Do you look at people when you're talking to them?

Four Types of Assertion:

1. Basic Assertion

2. Emphatic Assertion 3. Escalating Assertion
4. I-Language Assertion

Basic Assertion

This is a simple, straight forward expression of your beliefs,feelings, or opinions. It's usually a simple "I want" or "I feel" or "I don‟t want" or "I don‟t feel“ statement.

Example:
„I don‟t want to do that‟
„I feel really disappointed for what you did‟ „I want you to attend the sessions every fortnight‟

Emphatic Assertion

This conveys some sensitivity to the other person. It usually contains two parts- a recognition of the other person's situation or feelings, followed by a statement in which you stand up for your rights.

Example:
"I know you've really been busy, but I want you to feel
that our relationship is important to us. I want you to make time for me and for us."

Escalating Assertion

This occurs when the other person fails to respond to your basic assertion and continues to violate your rights. You gradually escalate the assertion and become increasingly firm. It may even include the mention of some type of resulting action on your part, made only after several basic assertive statements. Example:
"If you don't complete the work by 5:00 tomorrow, I'll pay only half of the service charge."

I – Language Assertion

This is especially useful for expressing negative feelings. It involves a 3-part statement:

• When you do . . . (describe the behavior). • The effects are . . . (describe how the behavior concretely affects you). • I'd prefer. . . (describe what you want). Example:
When you didn't buy the groceries like you said you would, I couldn't cook the dinner for my parents. I feel hurt and angry with you. Next time, I'd like you to follow through when you agree to do something like. that."

Learn to be Assertive in a Positive way

• How to begin

• Learn assertiveness skills. • Use your best communication skills.
• Practice, practice, practice!

Scenario
Problem 1: The Tickets
LaToya had two best friends, Lonnie and Tamika. They all liked the same rock group and were happy when LaToya's dad told her he would get three tickets for the next performance. LaToya was glad she could invite both Lonnie and Tamika because they were both good friends of hers and had done a lot of things for her in the past. However, at the last minute LaToya's dad could only get two tickets.

Scenario Solution
Problem 1: The Tickets
Passive LaToya: Decides it would be better not to go to the concert.

Aggressive LaToya: Demands that her father buys another ticket or simply invites one girl without regard for the other girl’s feelings. Assertive LaToya: Explains the situation to the two friends in a straightforward way. Suggests possible solutions. For example, one friend could go with her to the concert, and she would make it up to the other friend by doing something special for her later.

Scenario
Problem 2: The Party
Susan was a 19-year-old actress from a small town. She had recently arrived in a larger city with the ambition to become a rich and famous film star. After going to several casting agencies, she managed to land a small part in a film. While working on the set, she met another actress, Debbie. Debbie told her about a party that night. She asked Susan to go and said they would probably meet lots of important people. Susan immediately agreed to go. At the party, Susan met a man who said he was a big film producer. He told her that he could help her get started on her career. She was really excited until he scooped some white powder into a small spoon. "Here,” he said. “Just breathe this in through your nose.”

Scenario Solution
Problem 2: The Party
Passive Susan: Takes the drug and hopes the producer will help her later.

Aggressive Susan: Slaps the producer across the face and tells him to get lost. Assertive Susan: Politely tells the producer that while she would appreciate any help he could give her in her career, she is not willing to compromise herself by taking drugs.

Scenario
Problem 3: A Rare Event
Sondra had just moved into her own apartment. She felt really good to be on her own at last. After she settled in, she invited her new boyfriend David over for dinner. She cooked a big roast and served it rare, just the way she thought meat should be served. But David never ate meat. He took one look at the roast and nearly gagged.

Scenario Solution
Problem 3: A Rare Event
Passive David: Eats the meat, trying not to choke.

Aggressive David: Says something like: "I can't eat this gross-looking raw meat. What do you think I am, a savage?" Assertive David: Says, "I appreciate your cooking a meal for me, Sondra. But I don't eat meat. I hope you understand.”

Webliography

http://www.couns.uiuc.edu/Brochures/assertiv.htm
http://ub-counseling.buffalo.edu/assertiveness.shtml


				
DOCUMENT INFO
Shared By:
Categories:
Stats:
views:93
posted:5/24/2008
language:English
pages:23
january january
About