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Werewolf Haiku

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					             When I get hungry,
            my mind daydreams about meat
                      and girls in red hoods.


     Children’s fairy tales
                             e.
give harmfu l werewolf advic
   W don’t want baskets.
    e
            page 2 Werewolf Haiku by Ryan Mecum
              If you can’t notice
      a werewolf dressed as grand
                                  ma,
  then, come here, grand kid.
                        What big teeth I have.
                       All the better to tear through
                                digestive systems.
   Why wouldn’t the wolf
    once the girl shares ,he
   shrug and then eat her r schedule,
                           ?
If you’re in my woods
   off alone to grandma’s house,
 you won’t make it there.

                                               .
                          Me, the big bad wolfod.
                     You, little red riding ho
                                   This will get messy.

                          page 3
                normal,
    ugh mostlywerewolf tendencies
Tho
       I have gh the month.
   that last throu
                                 ils
              My curved fingernascratching
            are perfect for back          g.
                        but bad for wipin
                        All of my se
                    seem about f nses
                                 iv tim
                         which has e ro es stronger—
                                   p s and co
                                               ns.

      I can hear better, th my ear holes
         even though bo
                             ers.
      are clogged with whisk
                         My new sense of smell
                      makes for a rough addition,
                        with my messy house.

               page 4 Werewolf Haiku by Ryan Mecum
      Constant gag  refl
   thanks to new strandex,of long hair
                         s
          growing in my mouth.


     I constantly push
my overgrowing chest hair
   back into my shirt.
            page 5
   I’ll try to describe
werewolf metamorphosis
   without throwing up.
         Ch            st ickles,
            anging firsed tpressure,
                   ea
  followed by incr puke blood.
      and then you


                    page 6 Werewolf Haiku by Ryan Mecum
    Underneath your fl
new growing muscles peesh,out
                       ek
      and start to sprout hair.

                Your nose, mouth and chin snout
                      tear open as a wolf e.
                    pushes through your fac


                            butt
       Th at pain in your ation
                      nstip
    that feels like co rowing    .
             is a tail g
                          During this process,
                            the pain is unbearable
                        and you slip away.

              The beast you beccomterol
                  is totally in on side.
                 with you locked in
                      page 7
                                             A SeRIoUS BITe
                                           • These pages contain the hear
                                                                             tbreaking stor y
                                             of a repressed man who slowly
                                                                               loses cont rol of
                                             his inner beast after he’s bitten
                                                                               by a werewolf.
                                            As he wrestles with the monster
                                                                                 inside, he
                                            chronicles his feelings and urge
                                                                               s in a haik u
                                            journal. The resu lting poems are
                                                                                 gross, strange,
                                            dark and hila rious.

                                        • Books, TV and mov ies are show
                                                                            casing
                                          werewolves (Wolfman, New Moo
                                                                           n, etc.).
                                        • Ryan’s writing style and mys
                                                                       terious photo-
                                          graphs have proven popular, base
                                                                            d on the sales
                                          of Zombie Haiku.




                    Abo ut the Aut hor                     bie Haiku. He lives with his wife
                    Ryan Mecum is the author of Zom
                                                        is constant ly thinking of phrases
                    and daughter in Cincinnati and
                                                              ture.
                    that fit the 5-7-5 haik u syllable struc

                       ISBN-13....... 978-1-4403-0826-0                 Category............................. Humor    Publication.month........ Sept..2010
                       ISBN-10...............1-4403-0826-8. Price..........US.$9.99,.CAN.$11.99                        Word.count........................... 5000
                       UPC....................0.35313.65028.4           Trim...............................5”w.x.7”h   #.of.color.illustrations..............144
  an.imprint.of..      EAN...................9.781440.308260            Page.count...............................144   #.of.b/w.illustrations....................0
  F+W.Media,.Inc.
                          .
                       SRN. ................................... Z8621          .
                                                                        Binding.........................paperback      Interior.color..............................4c



page 8 Werewolf Haiku by Ryan Mecum

				
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posted:11/9/2010
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