_5_Active_Listening_Skills__HO

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					Major Function
• Active listening helps counselees feel understood

Active Listening Skills

– Active listening is composed of encouraging, paraphrasing, and summarizing – Counselees who feel understood are
• Less resistant to change • More open to change

Secondary Function
• • • • Clarifying for the client Clarifying for the counselor Eliciting more detail Focusing the client’s presentation of the issues (w/o redirecting)
Remember: Redirecting comes later! It is important, but it often must be set up.

Intro to Active Listening
• Encouragers • Paraphrasing • Summarizations

Encouragers
(= encouragers to talk) • Nonverbal Encouragers
– Nodding – Open posture

Practice

• Verbal Encouragers
– “Ummm” & “Uh-huh” – Repetition of key word as a question
• Sad? Surprised? Confused?

– “Tell me more” & “Can you say more about that?” – Restatement
Influence more disclosure with little influence of direction.

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Paraphrasing
• Name + A sentence stem
– “Steve, I hear you saying . . .” – “Sarah, sounds like . . .”

Practice

• Key words
– “Terrible argument?” – “Perfect mother”

• Essence of what was said
– Restate a confused rambling monologue into a succinct statement of reported facts and feelings.

• Check-out accuracy
– Paraphrase + “Did I get that right?” – Paraphrase + “Am I hearing you correctly?” – Paraphrase + “Is that close?”

Summarizations
• Summarize briefly what it took the counselee sometime to say • Requires careful listening and quick thinking • AKA: Summative Reflection • Uses
– To begin – Midway – At end

Practice

Reflection of Feeling
• “You feel X over situation Y.” • “You are X at Y.” • “When Y happens you feel X.”

Listen and Respond to Two Aspects
• Content (reported by the counselee of what happens “out there”)
– Reported “Facts” – Reported Thoughts – Reported Feelings – Reported Behaviors

• Process (observed by the counselor of what is happening “in here”)

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Active Listening Will Establish the Relationship that Will Help to Produce Change

What Influences People as They Go through Counseling?
15% 30% 15% Relationship Outside Techniques Placebo 40%

1st

2nd

3rd

Relationship

Influence

Change

Illustration
• Christian psychologist (not “pop”) known for his “cognitive therapy” found himself needing a counselor • He admits that he did not choose another cognitive therapist • Why?
– Cognitive therapists tend to focus on thoughts and not feelings – He said he wanted someone who would hear him and have a therapeutic relationship with him!!!!!

General Comments
• One cannot not communicate • How you communicate will either establish a relationship or destroy it • A bad relationship will
– Reduce influence – Increase defensiveness

• Active listening is foundational to a good therapeutic relationship • A good therapeutic relationship will
– Reduce defensiveness – Increase your influence

• Bottom Line: How we listen influences how others respond including whether they change

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