THE SEVEN Cs - PARTNERSHIP DANGER Signs - Conflict Becoming the Norm - Part 1 by yankirby


									THE “SEVEN Cs”: PARTNERSHIP DANGER Signs - Conflict Becoming the Norm - Part

A series of articles exploring the 7 critical areas that can indicate a partnership is in danger.

Conflict Turning out to be the Norm - Part 1

Dr. Dean Ornish, noted cardiologist, says the greatest cause of disease is the stress that arises
from conflict. Conflict is bad for your health, your personal life and certainly bad for your

When disagreements have reached the stage of conflict, emotions have overcome the issue. At
this time, no one is thinking clearly or speaking in truth about the original problem. It turns into
all about winning. How useful is that?

You can win the battle and lose a lot more. Conflict turns into a nail in the coffin of your
marriage, or in your business partnership. Though you might win in court, you frequently lose in
life. This is a key component of the scenario that accounts for the high rate of divorce in
marriage and even higher rate of dissolution of business partnerships.

Even if conflict doesn't attain this dramatic result, living with conflict is an unhappy, unhealthy
situation. Not just does it cause you misery, but it's contagious. Employees, clients and family
members feel the tension. They might be taking sides even without realizing the unspoken details
of the issue. You and your partner prevent meeting, may deteriorate into a yelling match when
you do meet, or live in silence avoiding addressing other important issues too. This is not the
scenario that inspires you to get out of bed in the morning.

The best solution is prevention. Resolve things at the disagreement level before they turn out to
be conflicts. If the 2 of you cannot get to resolution where you both feel like winners, call in a
coach. Really, my clients find that a monthly meeting is a terrific preventative and also teaches
them the tools needed to handle most situations on their own.

Now is the time to bear in mind that there were great reasons you chose your partner. If you were
honest and sincere in your initial evaluation and desire to succeed, it's helpful to keep that in
mind and if things have gotten out of control, hire an outside expert who can help you get back to
that place of harmony and mutual respect.

The first step in resolving conflict is to agree to do so and to agree on the supreme goal which is
greater than each of you as individuals. When you're really committed to the same outcome,
things can usually work out. When you have reached this point, a third party, non-biased expert
listener and coach is not simply desirable, but essential to direct the discussion and keep
emotions at bay.

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