An Open Letter to My Sons By: Dr. Reginald T. Hardaway www.qualityprofessor.com Dear Sons, There is no specific reason for me to write this letter, but I feel driven to do so at this particular time in a changing and uncertain world. There are life experiences that I want to share with you, and perhaps upon reading this letter you will be able to absorb what I want to teach you. Seek BALANCE in Life through God, Health, Education, Financial Management, Social Adjustment, Romance, and Physical Fitness. I want you to know that there is a difference between God and Religion. God is Truth and religion is something else. However, it is good to join a body of believers and give your gifts back to the Creator. Don’t be a talker, like many individuals. Live what you believe. If you’re going to be a Christian, live a Christian life. Respect your body, respect human sexuality and marriage, and be a Giver. You see, it is in giving that God activates the gift of giving to you. Be a voice for those who are voiceless, like the poor and the vulnerable, especially children. Read the word and pray. I repeat, Read the word and pray. Health: Eat well. Some form of vegetable everyday. Be very careful how you cook the vegetable so you do not cook all the nutrients out of the food. Take quality minerals and vitamins often. Remember that Western medicine has been around for 150-200 years, but God created herbs in the Garden of Eden. Do not be afraid to read and investigate herbal supplements. We have a cousin who owns a herbal and health food store; our family has a history of being informed about natural products for the body. Take good care of your TEMPLE. You notice that you have never seen me drink alcoholic beverages or smoke cigarettes. You have seen me eat red meat only sparingly, for beef will lie in your colon if you eat too much of it. Pork carries the pork tapeworm and should be avoided. Eliminate waste from your body at least twice daily. When you get older, there are herbs that will safely clean the colon. YOU do it! Also, when you are older you will need to get your colon and prostate checked annually. EDUCATION: You know how I feel about an education. It was the good Lord and Education that brought our people out of slavery. The thing that freed us is the exact thing that too many of us take for granted today. Value a higher education. Your grandfather often told me, “Son, get a good education. They can’t take it away from you.” I would like to add to this, “Son, get a good education AND FORM YOUR OWN BUSINESS, if you can.” Having your own business is excellent for many reasons. You can work as hard as you want and make and keep the profits! Plus, no one can get out of the wrong side of the bed, come in one morning, and fire you. You have a business to pass on to your own children and create generations of prosperity. You will have the opportunity to make the most of your talents and abilities, and you can create jobs and positions for others.
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Finances: Don’t hesitate to exercise the 10-10-80 plan. Tithe 10 percent and live on 80 percent. Of course, you can adjust these percentages upward. Also, watch the use of charge cards. They will enslave you and your family. If you use ONE (TRY NOT TO HAVE MORE THAN ONE OR TWO) pay them off at the end of the month. Do not live with a closed hand. Help people in need! You should help blood relatives and those who are members of the Body of Christ. Look at the difference that Bill Gates has made. African Americans spent $46.7 billion dollars on automobiles, $22.9 billion on clothes, $11.6 billion on furniture, #3.2 billion on electronics, and drank 30 percent of the Scotch that was made. We have great access to wealth. Use it wisely. We are only 12 percent of the population and only one out of two own their own home. Buy Real Estate! Buy Real Estate! Buy Real Estate! Keep your credit clean so that you can buy what you need and desire! The only area African Americans declined in was the purchase of books. We went from spending $356 million on books in 2000 to $303 million in 2002. We want to continue to move forward, not backward. SOCIAL ADJUSTMENT: Be kind to people. This does not mean you have to let them in your business. People can be jealous and envious without cause. Be careful whom you let get close to you. If you see an individual who is involved in illegal affairs, stay the HECK away from him or her. I remember working part-time for a corporation when I was a 20-year-old college student. A boy from the mailroom, on his rounds, used to come around and talk to me from time to time. I later discovered that he was stealing checks through the mail. To this day, I don’t know why he lied and said I was a part of his scheme. The only thing that saved me was that the day he said I was involved in his illicit dealings, one of my co-workers spoke up and corrected him, telling authorities, “It couldn’t be true because Reggie was here with me.” To this day, I don’t know why this arrogant young man tried to incriminate me. Be careful whom you befriend, regardless of race, gender, class etc. ROMANCE Treat everybody with respect, especially women. They are not sex-toys or playthings. A sexist society teaches men that women can be used as toys; however, like the women in our family, they are living, feeling, and caring human beings. YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE INTERCOURSE WITH WOMEN THAT YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO MARRY! MARRIAGE IS OF GOD. TREAT IT WITH RESPECT. You cannot use sex like a toy, or disrespect human sexuality and think that there will not be any consequences. Today, there are more consequences than in my day. It may mean death if one gets Aids. Build a relationship with a young lady and court her into engagement and marriage, before intercourse. If you have not respected God’s gift to his people began today. Go to God, ask him for forgiveness, and straighten out your lives. NEVER HURT ANYONE ON PURPOSE. This, my sons, truly is not “cool.” I have a close friend who, to this day, refused to be a friend and take a young lady to our school prom. She never forgot the insult. Although both are now adults, she refuses to give him the time of day when he is in her presence. You can be a friend to an individual and not get romantically involved. I once took a young lady to her elementary prom, and to this day we are friends and have never been romantically involved. Be kind to people.
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PHYSICAL FITNESS: As you get older, you will have to work out. Don’t wait until that time, Take care of your bodies now. Don’t eat a lot of junk foods, fast foods, etc. Do not eat late at night and then go to bed. You probably should have a cut-off time at night for eating. If you eat after that time let it be something light. Respect your bodies. Finally, sons, love yourselves, respect yourselves, and grow everyday. You were made from love. Your Mother and I wanted you, and we worked hard to train you, hoping you would become quality men. Make God proud; make yourselves proud; made your Family proud. The Japanese have a term called KAIZENING. It means that a person should improve everyday of his or her life. Improve your life in some way, everyday. Remember only what you do for Christ will last. Share love with others and the work that you do for God will follow you into Eternity. Your loving Father, Dad June 19, 2005 (Father’s Day)
@copyright by: Reginald T. Hardaway, Sr., MS, Ed.D
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