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The Write Path

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					School District No. 36 (Surrey)
September, 2008
Copyright © 2008 by School District No. 36 (Surrey).
Materials in this resource are intended for classroom use
only. For this purpose, materials in this resource may be
reproduced. Any other use of these materials is prohibited,
unless permission is granted by School District No. 36
(Surrey).
         “Of all the arts, writing should be the
         most democratic, all one needs is paper
         and a pen – and, I would suggest, a
         teacher or two along the way who works
         to make the intangible tangible, so every
         student might know the joy of writing well.”

                                                                 Nancie Atwell
                                                Lessons That Change Writers (2002)




                                                                                     i
September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\Intro.doc
                                             Acknowledgments

The Write Path was written and developed by Surrey educators. It is a reflection of the collective
experience and knowledge of teachers who share a deep commitment to students and their
learning.


Appreciation and thanks are extended to the team of teachers who shared their ideas and
dedicated their time, effort and expertise to this resource:


          June Demcheson, Queen Elizabeth Secondary
          Lynne Fisher, North Surrey Secondary
          Leslie Gray, Kwantlen Park Secondary
          June James, Guildford Park Secondary
          Lisa McCann, Kwantlen Park Secondary


Also, special thanks to Lois Diczki, Robin Greenwood and Colleen Elgood, who more than
anyone else, are aware of the time and effort dedicated to this project. Their publishing skills and
acute attention to detail make us very proud of the work produced by the Surrey School District.




Pat Horstead                                     Leah Christensen           Kathy Puharich
Director of Instruction                          Literacy Helping Teacher   Literacy Helping Teacher




                                                                                      2008


                                                                                                       ii
 September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\Intro.doc
                                                  To the Teacher

Foundations
Assessment serves many functions for teachers, students and parents. Traditionally, assessment has
served the primary function of measuring learning: teachers collect data and report out what a student has
achieved in letter grades, numbers or percentages. This is called assessment of learning. While this type of
assessment is necessary, its function is limited. It marks the end of something by indicating what learning has
taken place in a given period of time.


In 1998, findings from researchers in the UK significantly challenged our understanding of the role of
assessment in relation to student learning. Their research clearly demonstrated that when we use
assessment to promote learning rather than to measure it, student achievement and motivation dramatically
improve: “Assessment explicitly designed to promote learning is the single most powerful tool we have for
raising achievement” (Black and Wiliam, 1998). When assessment is used in this way, it is called assessment
for learning.


Over the past several years, teachers have explored and deepened their understandings about assessment
for learning and what this looks like in their classrooms. We know that when we involve students in their own
learning, provide them with opportunities to reflect on where they are in relation to the learning goal, set
criteria for success and identify the steps needed to move their learning forward, student motivation,
engagement and achievement increase.


The Write Path is a grade 9 persuasive writing resource that supports assessment for learning (AFL) in
the classroom. The lessons provide clear learning intentions so students know where they are heading with
their learning, model what quality writing looks like using exemplars and descriptive feedback, establish and
generate criteria with students, and embed regular opportunities for reflection and self-assessment.


Working with The Write Path may call for a shift or adjustment in how teachers traditionally construct and
manage their lessons. An invitation is extended to explore not only the activities contained in these pages,
but to deeply question and engage with the AFL practices that require our attention… “minute by minute,
and day by day.”




                                                                                                             iii
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Unit Overview
Each of the five units in this resource is organized around the genre of persuasive writing, and
integrates assessment for learning using the B.C. Performance Standards:


                Unit I                Understanding the Elements of Persuasion
                Unit II               Introduction to the B.C. Performance Standards
                Unit III              Editorials
                Unit IV               Persuasive Paragraphs
                Unit V                Persuasive Essays


Unit I introduces students to the elements of persuasion through the use of fairy tales. In Units II
through V, students are required to work directly and deeply with the B.C. Performance
Standards (Writing Essays and Opinions). Students are expected to internalize and make the
Standards their own in Unit II, where they rewrite them using language that is clear and meaningful
to them. By applying the descriptive criteria embedded in the Standards to their own work and to
the work of others, students are engaged in reflective processes that trigger metacognitive thinking.




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Lesson Overview
Each of the lessons in The Write Path begins with a cover page that identifies the following
information:
                Links to the Writing Performance Standards – Which aspects of writing are
                addressed?
                Learning Intentions – What will the students learn by the end of the lesson? These
                statements are most powerful when turned into “I” statements. (e.g. I can… or I am able
                to…)
                Preparation – What must the teacher do to prepare?


All lessons follow a similar format. They are based in the belief that teachers need to make
instruction explicit so that students understand the purpose of the activities, and will continue to
become independent learners. There are four keys components to each of the lessons:


             1. Access and/or build students’ background knowledge.
             2. Introduce the concept or skill and how it will improve student learning.
             3. Model the learning activity, showing students what this looks like before moving them
                   on to independent practice.
             4. Provide opportunities for independent student practice of the skill or concept.


We believe that each of the lessons found within The Write Path will help to move students
forward in their development as critical thinkers and writers.




 Student achievement and motivation dramatically improve when
    both students and teachers use assessment for learning
                  (Black and Wiliam, 1998).




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   Lessons at a Glance
                                                     MEANING   STYLE   FORM   CONVENTIONS




Persuasion
  Lesson 1
  Lesson 2

Performance Standards
  Lesson 1
  Lesson 2
  Lesson 3

Editorials
  Lesson 1
  Lesson 2
  Lesson 3
  Lesson 4
  Lesson 5

Paragraphs
  Lesson 1
  Lesson 2
  Lesson 3
  Lesson 4

Persuasive Essays
  Lesson 1
  Lesson 2
  Lesson 3
  Lesson 4
  Lesson 5
  Lesson 6
  Lesson 7



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     September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\Intro.doc
                                                                   Table of Contents

             Introduction to The Write Path ............................................................................................. i - vi

             Table of Contents .......................................................................................................................           1

             Unit I: Understanding the Elements of Persuasion ........................................................                                           2
                            o      Lesson 1: Generating Criteria .........................................................................                       3
                            o      Lesson 2: Using Criteria to Assess Writing .............................................. 56

             Unit II: Introduction to the B.C. Performance Standards ........................................... 66
                            o      Lesson 1: Introducing the Performance Standards .................................. 67
                            o      Lesson 2: Rewriting the Performance Standards ..................................... 80
                            o      Lesson 3: Assessing Student Writing with the Revised
                                   Performance Standards ....................................................................................... 102

             Unit III: Editorials ........................................................................................................................ 118
                            o      Lesson 1: Discerning the Purpose of an Editorial ................................... 119
                            o      Lesson 2: Teasing Out Criteria ..................................................................... 129
                            o      Lesson 3: Considering Point of View ............................................................ 149
                            o      Lesson 4: Writing an Editorial ......................................................................... 156
                            o      Lesson 5: Editing and Revising Editorials .................................................. 169

             Unit IV: Persuasive Paragraphs .............................................................................................. 179
                            o      Lesson 1: Crafting Arguments ........................................................................ 180
                            o      Lesson 2: Structuring Paragraphs ................................................................. 192
                            o      Lesson 3: Developing Persuasive Paragraphs ........................................... 203
                            o      Lesson 4: Assessing Persuasive Paragraphs .............................................. 213

             Unit V: Persuasive Essays ....................................................................................................... 225
                            o      Lesson 1: Exploring the Issue .......................................................................... 226
                            o      Lesson 2: Testing the Thesis Statement ................................................... 263
                            o      Lesson 3: Understanding Both Sides ......................................................... 276
                            o      Lesson 4: Building a Case ................................................................................ 285
                            o      Lesson 5: Writing Engaging Introductions .................................................. 305
                            o      Lesson 6: Writing Strong Conclusions ........................................................ 328
                            o      Lesson 7: The Finishing Touches ................................................................. 343

             References ........................................................................................................................................ 354


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                                                                                                                                                                       1
     Understanding the Elements of Persuasion


                             Lesson 1 - Generating Criteria


                             Lesson 2 - Using Criteria to Assess Writing




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                                                                           2
                                                                                                    Unit 1
                                                                                                  Lesson 1




                                    Generating Criteria
                                          Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                       Meaning
                                                                       Style
                                                                       Form
                                                                       Conventions



Lesson 1

Learning Intentions:
                    establish important aspects of writing
                    use persuasive writing criteria to shape writing
                    state opinions and develop a point of view
                    build a position through use of detail, example, explanation
                    consider other opinions and points of view
                    write a persuasive group paragraph


Preparation:
                    copy class sets of Handouts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6
                    copy Handouts 7 and 8 (one per group of three students)
                    copies of Fairy Tales (see Handout 8 A – I; each group receives a different fairy tale)




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                                                                                                          3
Lesson 1
Generating Criteria
                                                                   Details                             Materials

1. Build Background Knowledge: Aspects of Writing
     •       Go over Aspects of Writing – what teachers value when reading students’              Handout 1
             written work.

2. Introduce Persuasive Writing Criteria
     •       Explain acronym OSCAR. If O, S, C and A are accomplished, then R is                  Handout 2
             achieved.
     •       Ask, “How do these criteria relate to the Aspects of Writing?” Using Overhead        Overhead 1 &Teacher Reference
             1, fill in where O, S, C and A belong.

3. Teacher Models - Fairy Tale Assignment
     •       Put students in groups of 3. Assign each group a number (1, 2, 3, etc.).
     •       Distribute Handout 3 and explain the Fairy Tale assignment using Overhead 2.         Handout 3
     •       Tell students you are going to model this assignment before they do it together in   Overhead 2
             their groups. The fairy tale you model is Hansel and Gretel.
     •       Retell/summarize the story of Hansel and Gretel (refer to “Plot Synopsis”,           “Plot Synopsis” –Teacher
             Teacher Reference Sheet).                                                            Reference

                                                                                                  Handout 4,
     •       Distribute Handout 4 to each student. Using Overhead 3, be explicit in your
                                                                                                  Overhead 3 & Teacher Reference
             thinking as you record your responses. (See Teacher Reference, but do not
             place this on the overhead as it is important that students hear your thinking as
             you go through the process.)
     •       Explain to students that these notes will form the basis of the paragraph.
             Arrange them in order from least important to most important. Be sure to model
             your thinking and justify your decisions.
                                                                                                  Handout 5
     •       Distribute Handout 5 and read sample paragraph aloud.
                                                                                                  Handout 6
     •       Using Handout 6 and Overhead 4, identify the OSCAR criteria in the
                                                                                                  Overhead 4 & Teacher Reference
             paragraph. Again, take time to model your thinking out loud so students are able
             to track your thinking processes. (Refer to Teacher Reference.)




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                                                                                                                         4
                                                                   Details                   Materials

4. Group Writing Practice – Fairy Tale Assignment
     •       Distribute Handout 7.                                                       Handout 7
     •       Refer students back to Handout 3. In their groups, they will repeat the
             process and begin the Fairy Tale assignments for a different fairy tale.
             Distribute Handout 8 (A-J).                                                 Handouts 8A-J
     Note: If students do not finish in class, ensure they have time to finish another   (divided by group)
                    day before working on Lesson 2




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                                                                                                              5
                                                                                                                  Handout 1


Aspects of Writing


             Meaning                                                   The Ideas ~ What You Say




                  Style                                                The Language ~ How You Say It




                   Form                                                The Organization ~ How You Connect the Ideas




                                                                       The Mechanics ~ Following the “Rules” of
       Conventions
                                                                       Standard English




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                                                                                                                         6
                                                                                       Handout 2




             Persuasive Writing Criteria

                                     O pinion is clearly stated

                                     S upported with logical facts,
                                                      details and examples



                                     C                onnects ideas with transitions




                                     A ppeals to the target audience

                                     R esults in a good persuasive paragraph;
                                       leaves the reader with “food for thought”




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                                                                                              7
                                                                                             Overhead 1



Persuasive Writing Criteria

Aspects of Writing                                                     Persuasive Criteria




             Meaning




                  Style



                   Form




       Conventions




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                                                                                                      8
                                                                                                           Overhead 1
                                                                                                     Teacher Reference


Persuasive Writing Criteria

Aspects of Writing                                                           Persuasive Criteria


                                                            • Opinion is clearly stated
             Meaning
                                                            • Supported with logical facts, details and examples




                  Style                                     • Appeals to target audience




                   Form                                     • Connects ideas with transitions




       Conventions




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                                                                                                                     9
                                                                                      Handout 3




Fairy Tale Assignment
Steps

In your group . . .

             1.             Choose a fairy tale.


             2.             Summarize the story.


             3.             Identify the villain and his/her alleged crime.


             4.             Put yourself in the villain’s position and come up with four
                            reasons in defense of the villain’s actions.


             5.             Arrange the reasons from least important to most important.


             6.             Write a persuasive paragraph in the first person defending
                            the villain’s actions.




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                                                                                             10
                                                                                     Overhead 2




Fairy Tale Assignment
Steps

In your group . . .

             1.             Choose a fairy tale.


             2.             Summarize the story.


             3.             Identify the villain and his/her alleged crime.


             4.             Put yourself in the villain’s position and come up with four
                            reasons in defense of the villain’s actions.


             5.             Arrange the reasons from least important to most important.


             6.             Write a persuasive paragraph in the first person defending
                            the villain’s actions.




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                                                                                             11
                                                                                                 (Plot Synopsis)
                                                                                            Teacher Reference 2



                                                                        Hansel and Gretel
                                                                                            by the Brothers Grimm


              Hansel and Gretel are the children of a poor wood cutter. Fearing starvation, the wood
cutter's wife—the children's step-mother—convinces him to lead the children into the forest, and
abandon them there. Hansel and Gretel hear her plan, and gather white pebbles, to leave
themselves a trail home. After their return, their stepmother again convinces the wood cutter to
abandon them; this time however, they can only leave a trail of breadcrumbs. Unfortunately, the
various animals of the woods eat their trail of breadcrumbs causing Hansel and Gretel to become
lost.


              Lost in the forest, they find a house made of bread (later versions call it gingerbread), with
sugar windows, which they begin to eat. The inhabitant of the house, an old woman, invites them in
and prepares a feast for them. The woman, however, is a witch who has built the house to entice
children to her, so that she may fatten and eat them. She cages Hansel, and makes Gretel her
servant. While she prepares to boil Hansel, she tells Gretel to climb into an oven to be sure it is
ready to bake; but Gretel guesses that the witch intends to bake her, and tricks the witch into
climbing into the oven, closing it behind her.


              Taking jewels from the witch's house, they set off for home to be reunited with their father,
whose wife has since died. "Then all anxiety was at an end, and they lived together in perfect
happiness."




Source: http ://.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hansel_and_Gretal#Plot-synopsis


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                                                                                                              12
                                                                                                Handout 4
                                                                                             Group #


Defend the Villain
    Fairy Tale:                                                                  Villain:
    Charge:                                                                      Audience:




                                                                           Witch
                                                                              in
                                                                       Hansel & Gretel




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                                                                                                       13
                                                                                             Overhead 3



Defend the Villain
    Fairy Tale:                                                                  Villain:
    Charge:                                                                      Audience:




                                                                           Witch
                                                                              in
                                                                       Hansel & Gretel




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                                                                                                    14
                                                                                                                   Overhead 3
                                                                                                             Teacher Reference


Defend the Villain
       Fairy Tale: Hansel and Gretel                                              Villain:        The Witch
       Charge:                     Unlawful Confinement                           Audience:       Jury of Grade 9 Peers
                                   Attempted murder




                                                                                             Her Government
                             The kids were
                                                                                        assistance was cut off.
                    vandalizing her house!
                                                                                             She can’t afford to
                                                                                                 buy food.




                                                                           Witch
                                                                              in
                                                                       Hansel & Gretel




                   She has mental health                                           The kids were abandoned and
                                      issues.                                     starving. She was doing them a
                                                                                                   favour.




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                                                                                                                             15
                                                                                          Handout 5




Defend the Villain

                                                                       Sample Paragraph

                            Everybody thinks they know the story of Hansel and Gretel, but
             I’ll let you in on a little secret. Nobody knows the real story because
             nobody has ever heard my side of it. I’m not the guilty party. Those kids
             were vandalizing my property and stealing my stuff! Now I’m usually
             pretty calm, but when someone rips a gummy worm right off the trim of
             my window, I go a little crazy. It’s not the first time it’s happened.
             Lately, I’ve had a lot of dirty-faced kids taunting and tormenting me.
             They’re always gawking at me and my house, calling me an old, ugly
             hag. I tell you, it’s enough to drive an old lady crazy. If this isn’t bad
             enough, my government assistance has been cut off. I can’t afford to
             buy any food. The protein in my diet is down to nothing. Naturally,
             when I looked out the window and saw two perfectly good pieces of young
             meat, all I could think of was my hunger. Anyone in my position
             would’ve done the same, don’t you think? Besides, those kids were
             unwanted, abandoned by their own father. I thought I was doing them a
             favour and saving them from a lot of emotional upheaval later, or even
             starvation. They were literally eating me out of house and home. When
             you think about it, the father should be here defending himself, not me.




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                                                                                                16
                                                                                                   Handout 6



Defend the Villain

                                                                       Hansel and Gretel
                                                                        Sample Paragraph


Aspects of Writing                                                Persuasive Criteria      Proof


                                                     • Opinion is clearly stated
          Meaning
         (The Ideas:
                                                     • Supported with logical
      What you say)
                                                            facts, details and examples




              Style
  (The Language:                                     • Appeals to target
   How you say it)                                          audience




               Form
(The Organization:                                   • Connects ideas with
  How you connect                                           transitions
            the ideas)




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                                                                                                         17
                                                                                                   Overhead 4



Defend the Villain

                                                                       Hansel and Gretel
                                                                        Sample Paragraph


Aspects of Writing                                                Persuasive Criteria      Proof


                                                     • Opinion is clearly stated
          Meaning
         (The Ideas:
                                                     • Supported with logical
      What you say)
                                                            facts, details and examples




              Style
  (The Language:                                     • Appeals to target
   How you say it)                                          audience




               Form
(The Organization:                                   • Connects ideas with
  How you connect                                           transitions
            the ideas)




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                                                                                                           18
                                                                                                                                 Overhead 4
                                                                                                                      Teacher Reference

Defend the Villain
                                                                       Hansel and Gretel
                                                                          Sample Paragraph


    Aspects of Writing                                                 Persuasive Criteria                         Proof
                                                                                             •   “I’m not the guilty party.”
                                                         • Opinion is clearly stated
                                                                                             •   Vandalism - “ gummy worm”

            Meaning                                                                          •   Harassment – “taunting and tormenting”,
                                                                                                 “gawking at me…calling me an ugly, old
           (The Ideas:                                   • Supported with logical facts,         hag”
                                                                details and examples         •   Poverty
       What you say)
                                                                                                 - “government assistance has been cut
                                                                                                   off”
                                                                                                 - “I can’t afford to buy any food”
                                                                                             •   Concern for the children – “kids
                                                                                                 abandoned”

                                                                                             •   Uses inclusive language
                                                                                                 - “I’ll let you in on a little secret.”
                Style                                                                            - “anyone in my position would’ve done
                                                         • Appeals to the target
    (The Language:                                                                                 the same thing, don’t you think?”
                                                                audience                     •   Attempts to create sympathy
      How you say it)                                                                        •   “protein in my diet is down to nothing”
                                                                                             •   Tone, language and manner of
                                                                                                 expression are appropriate
                                                                                                 - “stealing my stuff”
                                                                                                 - “gummy worms”
                                                                                             •   “It’s not the first time it’s happened.”
                                                                                             •   “Lately, I’ve had a lot of dirty-faced kids

                 Form                                                                            taunting and tormenting me.”
                                                                                             •   “If this isn’t bad enough, my government
(The Organization:                                       • Connects ideas with                   assistance has been cut off.”
                                                                                             •   “Naturally, when I looked out the window
  How you connect                                               transitions
                                                                                                 and saw two perfectly good pieces of
            the ideas)                                                                           young meat, all I could think of was my
                                                                                                 hunger.”
                                                                                             •   “Besides, those kids were unwanted,
                                                                                                 abandoned by their own father.”




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                                                                                                                                            19
                                                                                      Handout 7
                                                                                   Group #


Defend the Villain
    Fairy Tale:                                                        Villain:
    Charge:                                                            Audience:




                                                                                             Pg. 1

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                                                                                                20
                                                                                  Handout 7


Defend the Villain
 Fairy Tale:                                                           Group #:
 Villain:



   Persuasive Paragraph




                                                                                     Pg. 2

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                                                                                        21
                                                                                       Overview of Titles




                                                                       Fairy Tales

                                A.                Cinderella

                                B.                Little Red Riding Hood

                                C.                Goldilocks and the Three Bears

                                D.                Beauty and the Beast

                                E.                Sleeping Beauty (Little Briar Rose)

                                F.                Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

                                G.                The Emperor’s New Clothes

                                H.                        The Farmer and the Money Lender

                                I.                Saru Kani Kassen




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                                                                                                      22
                                                                                           Handout 8A


                                                                       Cinderella
                                                                                    Grimms Fairy Tale

Once upon a time... there lived an unhappy young girl. Unhappy she was, for her mother was dead,
her father had married another woman, a widow with two daughters, and her stepmother didn't like
her one little bit. All the nice things, kind thoughts and loving touches were for her own daughters.
And not just the kind thoughts and love, but also dresses, shoes, shawls, delicious food, comfy
beds, as well as every home comfort. All this was laid on for her daughters. But, for the poor
unhappy girl, there was nothing at all. No dresses, only her stepsisters' hand-me-downs. No lovely
dishes, nothing but scraps. No nice rests and comfort. For she had to work hard all day, and only
when evening came was she allowed to sit for a while by the fire, near the cinders. That is how she
got her nickname, for everybody called her Cinderella. Cinderella used to spend long hours all
alone talking to the cat. The cat said,


"Miaow", which really meant, "Cheer up! You have something neither of your stepsisters have and
that is beauty."


It was quite true. Cinderella, even dressed in rags with a dusty grey face from the cinders, was a
lovely girl. While her stepsisters, no matter how splendid and elegant their clothes, were still clumsy,
lumpy and ugly and always would be.


One day, beautiful new dresses arrived at the house. A ball was to be held at Court and the
stepsisters were getting ready to go to it. Cinderella, didn't even dare ask, "What about me?" for
she knew very well what the answer to that would be:


"You? My dear girl, you're staying at home to wash the dishes, scrub the floors and turn down the
beds for your stepsisters. They will come home tired and very sleepy." Cinderella sighed at the
cat.


"Oh dear, I'm so unhappy!" and the cat murmured "Miaow".




                                                                                                  Pg 1

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                                                                                                     23
Suddenly something amazing happened. In the kitchen, where Cinderella was sitting all by herself,
there was a burst of light and a fairy appeared.


"Don't be alarmed, Cinderella," said the fairy. "The wind blew me your sighs. I know you would love
to go to the ball. And so you shall!"


"How can I, dressed in rags?" Cinderella replied. "The servants will turn me away!" The fairy
smiled. With a flick of her magic wand... Cinderella found herself wearing the most beautiful dress,
the loveliest ever seen in the realm.


"Now that we have settled the matter of the dress," said the fairy, "we'll need to get you a coach. A
real lady would never go to a ball on foot!"


"Quick! Get me a pumpkin!" she ordered.


"Oh of course," said Cinderella, rushing away. Then the fairy turned to the cat.


"You, bring me seven mice!"


"Seven mice!" said the cat. "I didn't know fairies ate mice too!"


"They're not for eating, silly! Do as you are told!... and, remember they must be alive!"


Cinderella soon returned with a fine pumpkin and the cat with seven mice he had caught in the
cellar.


"Good!" exclaimed the fairy. With a flick of her magic wand... wonder of wonders! The pumpkin
turned into a sparkling coach and the mice became six white horses, while the seventh mouse turned
into a coachman, in a smart uniform and carrying a whip. Cinderella could hardly believe her eyes.


"I shall present you at Court. You will soon see that the Prince, in whose honor the ball is being
held, will be enchanted by your loveliness. But remember! You must leave the ball at midnight and
come home. For that is when the spell ends. Your coach will turn back into a pumpkin, the horses
                                                                                                Pg 2

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                                                                                                     24
will become mice again and the coachman will turn back into a mouse... and you will be dressed again
in rags and wearing clogs instead of these dainty little slippers! Do you understand?" Cinderella
smiled and said, "Yes, I understand!"


When Cinderella entered the ballroom at the palace, a hush fell. Everyone stopped in mid-
sentence to admire her elegance, her beauty and grace.


"Who can that be?" people asked each other. The two stepsisters also wondered who the
newcomer was, for never in a month of Sundays, would they ever have guessed that the beautiful
girl was really poor Cinderella who talked to the cat!


When the prince set eyes on Cinderella, he was struck by her beauty. Walking over to her, he
bowed deeply and asked her to dance. And to the great disappointment of all the young ladies, he
danced with Cinderella all evening.


"Who are you, fair maiden?" the Prince kept asking her. But Cinderella only replied: "What does
it matter who I am! You will never see me again anyway."


"Oh, but I shall, I'm quite certain!" he replied.


Cinderella had a wonderful time at the ball. But, all of a sudden, she heard the sound of a clock:
the first stroke of midnight! She remembered what the fairy had said, and without a word of
goodbye she slipped from the Prince's arms and ran down the steps. As she ran she lost one of her
slippers, but not for a moment did she dream of stopping to pick it up! If the last stroke of midnight
were to sound... oh... what a disaster that would be! Out she fled and vanished into the night.


The Prince, who was now madly in love with her, picked up her slipper and said to his ministers,


"Go and search everywhere for the girl whose foot this slipper fits. I will never be content until I find
her!" So the ministers tried the slipper on the foot of all the girls... and on Cinderella's foot as
well... Surprise! The slipper fitted perfectly.




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"That awful untidy girl simply cannot have been at the ball," snapped the stepmother. "Tell the
Prince he ought to marry one of my two daughters! Can't you see how ugly Cinderella is! Can't
you see?"


Suddenly she broke off, for the fairy had appeared.


"That's enough!" she exclaimed, raising her magic wand. In a flash, Cinderella appeared in a
splendid dress, shining with youth and beauty. Her stepmother and stepsisters gaped at her in
amazement, and the ministers said,


"Come with us, fair maiden! The Prince awaits to present you with his engagement ring!" So
Cinderella joyfully went with them, and lived happily ever after with her Prince. And as for the cat,
he just said "Miaow"!




                                                                       The End



Source: http://www.fairytalia.com/classic-fairytales/the-brother-grimms/cinderella.html




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                                                                                           Handout 8B


                                                    Little Red Riding Hood
                                                                                   Grimms Fairy Tale



 Once upon a time in the middle of a thick forest stood a small cottage, the home of a pretty little
girl known to everyone as Little Red Riding Hood. One day, her Mummy waved her goodbye at
the garden gate, saying: "Grandma is ill. Take her this basket of cakes, but be very careful. Keep
to the path through the wood and don't ever stop. That way, you will come to no harm."


 Little Red Riding Hood kissed her mother and ran off. "Don't worry," she said, "I'll run all the
way to Grandma's without stopping."


 Full of good intentions, the little girl made her way through the wood, but she was soon to forget
her mother's wise words. "What lovely strawberries! And so red!"


 Laying her basket on the ground, Little Red Riding Hood bent over the strawberry plants.
"They're nice and ripe, and so big! Yummy! Delicious! Just another one! And one more! This is
the last. Well, this one Mmmm."


 The red fruit peeped invitingly through the leaves in the grassy glade, and Little Red Riding
Hood ran back and forth popping strawberries into her mouth. Suddenly she remembered her
mother, her promise, Grandma and the basket and hurried back towards the path. The basket was
still in the grass and, humming to herself, Little Red Riding Hood walked on.


 The wood became thicker and thicker. Suddenly a yellow butterfly fluttered down through the
trees. Little Red Riding Hood started to chase the butterfly.


 "I'll catch you! I'll catch you!" she called. Suddenly she saw some large daisies in the grass.
  "Oh, how sweet!" she exclaimed and, thinking of Grandma, she picked a large bunch of flowers.

  In the meantime, two wicked eyes were spying on her from behind a tree a strange rustling in the
woods made Little Red Riding Hood's heart thump.
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 Now quite afraid she said to herself. "I must find the path and run away from here!"


 At last she reached the path again but her heart leapt into her mouth at the sound of a gruff
voice which said: "Where are you going, my pretty girl, all alone in the woods?"

 "I'm taking Grandma some cakes. She lives at the end of the path," said Little Riding Hood in a
faint voice.

  When he heard this, the wolf (for it was the big bad wolf himself) politely asked: "Does Grandma
live by herself?"


 "Oh, yes," replied Little Red Riding Hood, "and she never opens the door to strangers!"


 "Goodbye. Perhaps we'll meet again," replied the wolf. Then he loped away thinking to himself
"I'll gobble the grandmother first, then lie in wait for the grandchild!" At last, the cottage came in
sight. Knock! Knock! The wolf rapped on the door.


 "Who's there?" cried Grandma from her bed.


 "It's me, Little Red Riding Hood. I've brought you some cakes because you're ill," replied the
wolf, trying hard to hide his gruff voice.


 "Lift the latch and come in," said Grandma, unaware of anything amiss, till a horrible shadow
appeared on the wall. Poor Grandma! For in one bound, the wolf leapt across the room and, in a
single mouthful, swallowed the old lady. Soon after, Little Red Riding Hood tapped on the door.


 "Grandma, can I come in?" she called.


 Now, the wolf had put on the old lady's shawl and cap and slipped into the bed. Trying to imitate
Grandma's quavering little voice, he replied: “Open the latch and come in!”


 "What a deep voice you have," said the little girl in surprise.


 "The better to greet you with," said the wolf.
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 "Goodness, what big eyes you have."


 "The better to see you with."


 "And what big hands you have!" exclaimed Little Red Riding
Hood, stepping over to the bed.


 "The better to hug you with," said the wolf.


 "What a big mouth you have," the little girl murmured in a weak
voice.


 "The better to eat you with!" growled the wolf, and jumping out of bed, he swallowed her up too.
Then, with a fat full tummy, he fell fast asleep.


 In the meantime, a hunter had emerged from the wood, and on noticing the cottage, he decided to
stop and ask for a drink. He had spent a lot of time trying to catch a large wolf that had been
terrorizing the neighborhood, but had lost its tracks. The hunter could hear a strange whistling
sound; it seemed to be coming from inside the cottage. He peered through the window and saw the
large wolf himself, with a fat full tummy, snoring away in Grandma's bed.


"The wolf! He won't get away this time!"


 Without making a sound, the hunter carefully loaded his gun and gently opened the window. He
pointed the barrel straight at the wolf's head and BANG! The wolf was dead.


 “Got you at last!” shouted the hunter in glee. “You'll never frighten anyone again.”


 He cut open the wolf's stomach and to his amazement, out popped Grandma and Little Red
Riding Hood, safe and unharmed.


 "You arrived just in time," murmured the old lady, quite overcome by all the excitement.



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 “It's safe to go home now,” the hunter told Little Red Riding Hood. “The big bad wolf is dead
and gone, and there is no danger on the path.”


 Still scared, the little girl hugged her grandmother. “Oh, what a dreadful fright!”


 Much later, as dusk was falling, Little Red Riding Hood's mother arrived, all out of breath,
worried because her little girl had not come home. And when she saw Little Red Riding Hood,
safe and sound, she burst into tears of joy.


 After thanking the hunter again, Little Red Riding Hood and her mother set off towards the
wood. As they walked quickly through the trees, the little girl told her mother: “We must always
keep to the path and never stop. That way, we come to no harm!”


                                                                                          The End




Source: http://www.fairytalia.com/classic-fairytales/the-brother-grimms/little-red-riding-
hood.html




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                                                                                              Handout 8C



                         Goldilocks And The Three Bears
                                                                                        Grimms Fairy Tale

  Once upon a time in a large forest, close to a village, stood the cottage where the Teddy Bear
family lived. They were not really proper Teddy Bears, for Father Bear was very big, Mother
Bear was middling in size, and only Baby Bear could be described as a Teddy Bear.


  Each bear had its own size of bed. Father Bear's was large and nice and comfy. Mother Bear's
bed was middling in size, while Baby Bear had a fine little cherry wood bed that Father Bear had
ordered from a couple of beaver friends.


  Beside the fireplace, around which the family sat in the evenings, stood a large carved chair for
the head of the house, a delightful blue velvet armchair for Mother Bear, and a very little chair for
Baby Bear.


  Neatly laid out on the kitchen table stood three china bowls. A large one for Father Bear, a
smaller one for Mother Bear, and a little bowl for Baby Bear.


  The neighbors were all very respectful to Father Bear and people raised their hats when he
went by. Father Bear liked that and he always politely replied to their greetings. Mother Bear had
lots of friends. She visited them in the afternoons to exchange good advice and recipes for jam and
bottled fruit. Baby Bear, however, had hardly any friends. This was partly because
he was rather a bully and liked to win games and arguments. He was a pest too and
always getting into mischief. Not far away, lived a fair-haired little girl who had a
similar nature to Baby Bear, only she was haughty and stuck-up as well, and though
Baby Bear often asked her to come and play at his house, she always said no.


  One day, Mother Bear made a nice pudding. It was a new recipe, with blueberries and other
crushed berries. Her friends told her it was delicious. When it was ready, she said to the family:




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  "It has to be left to cool now, otherwise it won't taste nice. That will take at least an hour. Why
don't we go and visit the Beavers' new baby? Mummy Beaver will be pleased to see us." Father
Bear and Baby Bear would much rather have tucked into the pudding, warm or not, but they liked
the thought of visiting the new baby.


 “We must wear our best clothes, even for such a short visit. Everyone at the Beavers' will be very
busy now, and we must not stay too long!” And so they set off along the pathway towards the river
bank. A short time later, the stuck-up little girl, whose name was Goldilocks, passed by the Bears'
house as she picked flowers.


  "Oh, what an ugly house the Bears have!" said Goldilocks to herself as she went down the hill.
"I'm going to peep inside! It won't be beautiful like my house, but I'm dying to see where Baby Bear
lives. Knock! Knock! The little girl tapped on the door. Knock! Knock! Not a sound...


  "Surely someone will hear me knocking," Goldilocks said herself, impatiently. "Anyone at home?"
she called, peering round the door. Then she went into the empty house and started to explore the
kitchen.


  "A pudding!" she cried, dipping her finger into the pudding Mother Bear had left to cool.
"Quite nice!" she murmured, spooning it from Baby Bear's bowl. In a twinkling, the bowl lay empty
on a messy table. With a full tummy, Goldilocks went on exploring.


  "Now then, this must be Father Bear's chair, this will be Mother Bear's, and this one must
belong to my friend, Baby Bear. I'll just sit on it a while!" With these words, Goldilocks sat herself
down onto the little chair which, quite unused to such a sudden weight, promptly broke a leg.
Goldilocks crashed to the floor, but not in the least dismayed by the damage she had done, she
went upstairs.


  There was no mistaking which was Baby Bear's bed.


  "Mm! Quite comfy!" she said, bouncing on it. "Not as nice as mine, but nearly! Then she yawned.
I think I'll lie down, only for a minute just to try the bed." And in next to no time, Goldilocks lay fast
asleep in Baby Bear's bed. In the meantime, the Bears were on their way home.

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  "Wasn't the new Beaver baby ever so small?" said Baby Bear to his mother. Was I as tiny as
that when I was born?"


  "Not quite, but almost," came the reply, with a fond caress. From a distance, Father Bear
noticed the door was ajar.


   "Hurry!" he cried. "Someone is in our house . . ." Was Father Bear hungry or did a thought
strike him? Anyway, he dashed into the kitchen. "I knew it! Somebody has gobbled up the
pudding."


  "Someone has been jumping up and down on my armchair!" complained Mother Bear. And
somebody's broken my chair!" wailed Baby Bear.


  Where could the culprit be? They all ran upstairs and tiptoed in amazement over to Baby
Bear's bed. In it lay Goldilocks, sound asleep. Baby Bear prodded her toe.


  "Who's that? Where am I?" shrieked the little girl, waking with a start. Taking fright at the
scowling faces bending over her, she clutched the bedclothes up to her chin. Then she jumped out
of bed and fled down the stairs.


  "Get away! Away from that house!" she told herself as she ran, forgetful of all the trouble she
had so unkindly caused. But Baby Bear called from the door, waving his arm: Don't run away!
Come back! I forgive you, come and play with me!"


  And this is how it all ended. From that day onwards, haughty rude Goldilocks became a pleasant
little girl. She made friends with Baby Bear and often went to his house. She invited him to her
house too, and they remained good friends, always.
                                                                                             The End



Source: http://www.fairytalia.com/classic-fairytales/the-brother-grimms/goldilocks-and-the-
three-bears.html



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                                                                                             Handout 8D



                                                            Beauty and the Beast
                                                                                     Grimms Fairy Tale

 Once upon a time as a merchant set off for market, he asked each of his three daughters what
she would like as a present on his return. The first daughter wanted a brocade dress, the second a
pearl necklace, but the third, whose name was Beauty, the youngest, prettiest and sweetest of
them all, said to her father:


 "All I'd like is a rose you've picked specially for me!"


 When the merchant had finished his business, he set off for home. However, a sudden storm blew
up, and his horse could hardly make headway in the howling gale. Cold and weary, the merchant
had lost all hope of reaching an inn when he suddenly noticed a bright light shining in the middle of a
wood. As he drew near, he saw that it was a castle, bathed in light.


 "I hope I'll find shelter there for the night," he said to himself. When he reached the door, he saw it
was open, but though he shouted, nobody came to greet him. Plucking up courage, he went inside,
still calling out to attract attention. On a table in the main hall, a splendid dinner lay already served.
The merchant lingered, still shouting for the owner of the castle. But no one came, and so the
starving merchant sat down to a hearty meal.


 Overcome by curiosity, he ventured upstairs, where the corridor led into magnificent rooms and
halls. A fire crackled in the first room and a soft bed looked very inviting. It was now late, and the
merchant could not resist. He lay down on the bed and fell fast asleep. When he woke next
morning, an unknown hand had placed a mug of steaming coffee and some fruit by his bedside.


 The merchant had breakfast and after tidying himself up, went downstairs to thank his generous
host. But, as on the evening before, there was nobody in sight. Shaking his head in wonder at the
strangeness of it all, he went towards the garden where he had left his horse, tethered to a tree.
Suddenly, a large rose bush caught his eye.


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               Remembering his promise to Beauty, he bent down to pick a rose. Instantly, out of the
rose garden, sprang a horrible beast, wearing splendid clothes. Two bloodshot eyes, gleaming
angrily, glared at him and a deep, terrifying voice growled: "Ungrateful man! I gave you shelter, you
ate at my table and slept in my own bed, but now all the thanks I get is the theft of my favorite
flowers! I shall put you to death for this slight!" Trembling with fear, the merchant fell on his knees
before the Beast.


 "Forgive me! Forgive me! Don't kill me! I'll do anything you say! The rose wasn't for me, it was for
my daughter Beauty. I promised to bring her back a rose from my journey!" The Beast dropped
the paw it had clamped on the unhappy merchant.


 "I shall spare your life, but on one condition, that you bring me your daughter!" The terror-
stricken merchant, faced with certain death if he did not obey, promised that he would do so. When
he reached home in tears, his three daughters ran to greet him. After he had told them of his
dreadful adventure, Beauty put his mind at rest immediately.


 "Dear father, I'd do anything for you! Don't worry, you'll be able to keep your promise and save
your life! Take me to the castle. I'll stay there in your place!" The merchant hugged his daughter.


 "I never did doubt your love for me. For the moment I can only thank you for saving my life." So
Beauty was led to the castle. The Beast, however, had quite an unexpected greeting for the girl.
Instead of menacing doom as it had done with her father, it was surprisingly pleasant.


 In the beginning, Beauty was frightened of the Beast, and shuddered at the sight of it. Then she
found that, in spite of the monster's awful head, her horror of it was gradually fading as time went
by. She had one of the finest rooms in the Castle, and sat for hours, embroidering in front of the
fire. And the Beast would sit, for hours on end, only a short distance away, silently gazing at her.
Then it started to say a few kind words, till in the end, Beauty was amazed to discover that she was
actually enjoying its conversation. The days passed, and Beauty and the Beast became good
friends. Then one day, the Beast asked the girl to be his wife.




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  Taken by surprise, Beauty did not know what to say. Marry such an ugly monster? She would
rather die! But she did not want to hurt the feelings of one who, after all, had been kind to her.
And she remembered too that she owed it her own life as well as her father's.


 "I really can't say yes," she began shakily. "I'd so much like to..." The Beast interrupted her with
an abrupt gesture.


 "I quite understand! And I'm not offended by your refusal!" Life went on as usual, and nothing
further was said. One day, the Beast presented Beauty with a magnificent magic mirror. When
Beauty peeped into it, she could see her family, far away.


 "You won't feel so lonely now," were the words that accompanied the gift. Beauty stared for
hours at her distant family. Then she began to feel worried. One day, the Beast found her
weeping beside the magic mirror.


 "What's wrong?" he asked, kindly as always.


 "My father is gravely ill and close to dying! Oh, how I wish I could see him again, before it's too
late!" But the Beast only shook its head.


 "No! You will never leave this castle!" And off it stalked in a rage. However, a little later, it
returned and spoke solemnly to the girl.


 "If you swear that you will return here in seven days time, I'll let you go and visit your father!"
Beauty threw herself at the Beast's feet in delight.


 "I swear! I swear I will! How kind you are! You've made a loving daughter so happy!" In reality, the
merchant had fallen ill from a broken heart at knowing his daughter was being kept prisoner. When
he embraced her again, he was soon on the road to recovery. Beauty stayed beside him for hours
on end, describing her life at the Castle, and explaining that the Beast was really good and kind.
The days flashed past, and at last the merchant was able to leave his bed. He was completely well
again. Beauty was happy at last. However, she had failed to notice that seven days had gone by.


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 Then one night she woke from a terrible nightmare. She had dreamt that the Beast was dying
and calling for her, twisting in agony.


 "Come back! Come back to me!" it was pleading. The solemn promise she had made drove her to
leave home immediately.


 "Hurry! Hurry, good horse!" she said, whipping her steed onwards towards the castle, afraid that
she might arrive too late. She rushed up the stairs, calling, but there was no reply. Her heart in her
mouth, Beauty ran into the garden and there crouched the Beast, its eyes shut, as though dead.
Beauty threw herself at it and hugged it tightly.


 "Don't die! Don't die! I'll marry you . . ." At these words, a miracle took place. The Beast's ugly
snout turned magically into the face of a handsome young man.


  "How I've been longing for this moment!" he said. "I was suffering in silence, and couldn't tell my
frightful secret. An evil witch turned me into a monster and only the love of a maiden willing to
accept me as I was, could transform me back into my real self. My dearest! I'll be so happy if you'll
marry me."


 The wedding took place shortly after and, from that day on, the young Prince would have nothing
but roses in his gardens. And that's why, to this day, the castle is known as the Castle of the Rose.

                                                                                             The End




Source: http://fairytalia.com/classic-fairytales/the-brother-grimms/beauty-and-the-beast.html


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                                                                                           Handout 8E

                                                              Sleeping Beauty
                                                             (Little Briar Rose)
                                                                                   Grimms Fairy Tale

 A long time ago there were a king and queen who said every day, "Ah, if only we had a child," but
they never had one. But it happened that once when the queen was bathing, a frog crept out of
the water on to the land, and said to her, "Your wish shall be fulfilled, before a year has gone by,
you shall have a daughter."


 What the frog had said came true, and the queen had a little girl who was so pretty that the king
could not contain himself for joy, and ordered a great feast. He invited not only his kindred, friends
and acquaintances, but also the wise women, in order that they might be kind and well disposed
towards the child. There were thirteen of them in his kingdom, but, as he had only twelve golden
plates for them to eat out of, one of them had to be left at home.


 The feast was held with all manner of splendor and when it came to an end the wise women
bestowed their magic gifts upon the baby - one gave virtue, another beauty, a third riches, and soon
with everything in the world that one can wish for.

 When eleven of them had made their promises, suddenly the thirteenth
came in. She wished to avenge herself for not having been invited, and
without greeting, or even looking at anyone, she cried with a loud voice,
"The king's daughter shall in her fifteenth year prick herself with a spindle,
and fall down dead." And, without saying a word more, she turned round
and left the room.


 They were all shocked, but the twelfth, whose good wish still remained unspoken, came forward,
and as she could not undo the evil sentence, but only soften it, she said, it shall not be death, but a
deep sleep of a hundred years, into which the princess shall fall.




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 The king, who would fain keep his dear child from the misfortune, gave orders that every spindle
in the whole kingdom should be burnt. Meanwhile the gifts of the wise women were plenteously
fulfilled on the young girl, for she was so beautiful, modest, good-natured, and wise, that everyone
who saw her was bound to love her.


 It happened that on the very day when she was fifteen years old, the king and queen were not at
home, and the maiden was left in the palace quite alone. So she went round into all sorts of places,
looked into rooms and bed-chambers just as she liked, and at last came to an old tower. She
climbed up the narrow winding staircase, and reached a little door. A rusty key was in the lock, and
when she turned it the door sprang open, and there in a little room sat an old woman with a spindle,
busily spinning her flax.


 "Good day, old mother," said the king's daughter, "what are you doing there?"


 "I am spinning," said the old woman, and nodded her head.


 "What sort of thing is that, that rattles round so merrily," said the girl, and she took the spindle
and wanted to spin too. But scarcely had she touched the spindle when the magic decree was
fulfilled, and she pricked her finger with it.


 And, in the very moment when she felt the prick, she fell down upon the bed that stood there, and
lay in a deep sleep. And this sleep extended over the whole palace, the king and queen who had
just come home, and had entered the great hall, began to go to sleep, and the whole of the court
with them. The horses, too, went to sleep in the stable, the dogs in the yard, the pigeons upon the
roof, the flies on the wall, even the fire that was flaming on the hearth became quiet and slept, the
roast meat left off frizzling, and the cook, who was just going to pull the hair of the scullery boy,
because he had forgotten something, let him go, and went to sleep. And the wind fell, and on the
trees before the castle not a leaf moved again.


 But round about the castle there began to grow a hedge of thorns, which every year became
higher, and at last grew close up round the castle and all over it, so that there was nothing of it to be
seen, not even the flag upon the roof.


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 But the story of the beautiful sleeping Briar Rose, for so the princess was named, went about
the country, so that from time to time kings' sons came and tried to get through the thorny hedge
into the castle. But they found it impossible, for the thorns held fast together, as if they had hands,
and the youths were caught in them, could not get loose again, and died a miserable death.


 After long, long years a king's son came again to that country, and heard an old man talking about
the thorn hedge, and that a castle was said to stand behind it in which a wonderfully beautiful
princess, named Briar Rose, had been asleep for a hundred years, and that the king and queen
and the whole court were asleep likewise. He had heard, too, from his grandfather, that many kings,
sons had already come, and had tried to get through the thorny hedge, but they had remained
sticking fast in it, and had died a pitiful death.


 Then the youth said, "I am not afraid, I will go and see the beautiful Briar Rose." The good old
man might dissuade him as he would, he did not listen to his words.


 But by this time the hundred years had just passed, the day had come when Briar Rose was to
awake again. When the king's son came near to the thorn hedge, it was nothing but large and
beautiful flowers, which parted from each other of their own accord, and let him pass unhurt, then
they closed again behind him like a hedge. In the castle yard he saw the horses and the spotted
hounds lying asleep, on the roof sat the pigeons with their heads under their wings. And when he
entered the house, the flies were asleep upon the wall, the cook in the kitchen was still holding out
his hand to seize the boy, and the maid was sitting by the black hen which she was going to pluck.


 He went on farther, and in the great hall he saw the whole of the court lying asleep, and up by the
throne lay the king and queen. Then he went on still farther, and all was so quiet that a breath
could be heard, and at last he came to the tower, and opened the door into the little room where
Briar Rose was sleeping.


 There she lay, so beautiful that he could not turn his eyes away, and he stooped down and gave
her a kiss. But as soon as he kissed her, Briar Rose opened her eyes and awoke, and looked at
him quite sweetly.




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 Then they went down together, and the king awoke, and the queen, and the whole court, and
looked at each other in great astonishment. And the horses in the courtyard stood up and shook
themselves, the hounds jumped up and wagged their tails, the pigeons upon the roof pulled out
their heads from under their wings, looked round, and flew into the open country, the flies on the
wall crept again, the fire in the kitchen burned up and flickered and cooked the meat, the joint
began to turn and sizzle again, and the cook gave the boy such a box on the ear that he screamed,
and the maid finished plucking the fowl.


 And then the marriage of the king's son with Briar Rose was celebrated with all splendor, and
they lived contented to the end of their days.




                                                                                            The End

Source: http://www.fairy.talia.com/classic-fairytales/the-brother-grimms/sleeping-beauty.html




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                                                                                                  Handout 8F



                        Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
                                                                                            Grimms Fairy Tale

  Once upon a time in a great castle, a Prince's daughter grew up happy and contented, in spite of
a jealous stepmother. She was very pretty, with blue eyes and long black hair. Her skin was Pg 1
delicate and fair, and so she was called Snow White. Everyone was quite sure she would become
very beautiful. Though her stepmother was a wicked woman, she too was very beautiful, and the
magic mirror told her this every day, whenever she asked it.


  "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the loveliest lady in the land?" The reply was always; "You are,
your Majesty," until the dreadful                                         day when she heard it say, "Snow
White is the loveliest in the                                            land." The stepmother was furious
and, wild with jealousy, began                                         plotting to get rid of her rival. Calling
one of her trusty servants, she                                        bribed him with a rich reward to take
Snow White into the forest, far                                        away from the Castle. Then, unseen,
he was to put her to death. The                                        greedy servant, attracted to the
reward, agreed to do this deed,                                          and he led the innocent little girl
away. However, when they came                                            to the fatal spot, the man's
courage failed him and, leaving Snow White sitting beside a tree, he mumbled an excuse and ran
off. Snow White was all alone in the forest.


  Night came, but the servant did not return. Snow White, alone in the dark forest, began to cry
bitterly. She thought she could feel terrible eyes spying on her, and she heard strange sounds and
rustlings that made her heart thump. At last, overcome by tiredness, she fell asleep curled under a
tree.


  Snow White slept fitfully, wakening from time to time with a start and staring into the darkness
round her. Several times, she thought she felt something, or somebody touch her as she slept.


  At last, dawn woke the forest to the song of the birds, and Snow White too, awoke. A whole
world was stirring to life and the little girl was glad to see how silly her fears had been.


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However, the thick trees were like a wall round her, and as she tried to find out where she was, she
came upon a path. She walked along it, hopefully. On she walked till she came to a clearing. There
stood a strange cottage, with a tiny door, tiny windows and a tiny chimney pot. Everything about
the cottage was much tinier than it ought to be. Snow White pushed the door open.


  "l wonder who lives here?" she said to herself, peeping round the kitchen. "What tiny plates! And
spoons! There must be seven of them, the table's laid for seven people." Upstairs was a bedroom
with seven neat little beds. Going back to the kitchen, Snow White had an idea.


  "I'll make them something to eat. When they come home, they'll be glad to find a meal ready."
Towards dusk, seven tiny men marched homewards singing. But when they opened the door, to
their surprise they found a bowl of hot steaming soup on the table, and the whole house spick and
span. Upstairs was Snow White, fast asleep on one of the beds. The chief dwarf prodded her
gently.


  "Who are you?" he asked. Snow White told them her sad story, and tears sprang to the dwarfs'
eyes. Then one of them said, as he noisily blew his nose:


  "Stay here with us!"


  "Hooray! Hooray!" they cheered, dancing joyfully round the little girl. The dwarfs said to Snow
White:


  "You can live here and tend to the house while we're down the mine. Don't worry about your
stepmother leaving you in the forest. We love you and we'll take care of you!" Snow White
gratefully accepted their hospitality, and next morning the dwarfs set off for work. But they warned
Snow White not to open the door to strangers.


 Meanwhile, the servant had returned to the castle, with the heart of a roe deer. He gave it to the
cruel stepmother, telling her it belonged to Snow White, so that he could claim the reward. Highly
pleased, the stepmother turned again to the magic mirror.




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       But her hopes were dashed, for the mirror replied: "The loveliest in the land is still Snow
White, who lives in the seven dwarfs' cottage, down in the forest." The stepmother was beside
herself with rage.

   "She must die! She must die!" she screamed. Disguising herself as an old peasant woman, she
put a poisoned apple with the others in her basket. Then, taking the quickest way into the forest,
she crossed the swamp at the edge of the trees. She reached the bank unseen, just as Snow
White stood waving goodbye to the seven dwarfs on their way to the mine.


  Snow White was in the kitchen when she heard the sound at the door: KNOCK! KNOCK!


  "Who's there?" she called suspiciously, remembering the dwarfs’ advice.


  "I'm an old peasant woman selling apples," came the reply.


  "I don't need any apples, thank you," she replied.


  "But they are beautiful apples and ever so juicy!" said the velvety voice from outside the door.

  "I'm not supposed to open the door to anyone," said the little girl, who was reluctant to disobey
her friends.


  "And quite right too! Good girl! If you promised not to open up to strangers, then of course you
can't buy. You are a good girl indeed!" Then the old woman went on.


  "And as a reward for being good, I'm going to make you a gift of one of my apples!" Without a
further thought, Snow White opened the door just a tiny crack, to take the apple.

  "There! Now isn't that a nice apple?" Snow White bit into the fruit, and as she did, fell to the
ground in a faint: the effect of the terrible poison left her lifeless instantaneously.

  Now chuckling evilly, the wicked stepmother hurried off. But as she ran back across the swamp,
she tripped and fell into the quicksand. No one heard her cries for help, and she disappeared
without a trace.


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  Meanwhile, the dwarfs came out of the mine to find the sky had grown dark and stormy. Loud
thunder echoed through the valleys and streaks of lightning ripped the sky. Worried about Snow
White they ran as quickly as they could down the mountain to the cottage.


  There they found Snow White, lying still and lifeless, the poisoned apple by her side. They did
their best to bring her around, but it was no use.


  They wept and wept for a long time. Then they laid her on a bed of rose petals, carried her into
the forest and put her in a crystal coffin.


  Each day they laid a flower there.


  Then one evening, they discovered a strange young man admiring Snow White's lovely face
through the glass. After listening to the story, the Prince (for he was a prince!) made a suggestion.


  "If you allow me to take her to the Castle, I'll call in famous doctors to waken her from this
peculiar sleep. She's so lovely I'd love to kiss her!" He did, and as though by magic, the Prince's
kiss broke the spell. To everyone's astonishment, Snow White opened her eyes. She had
amazingly come back to life! Now in love, the Prince asked Snow White to marry him, and the
dwarfs reluctantly had to say good bye to Snow White.


  From that day on, Snow White lived happily in a great castle. But from time to time, she was
drawn back to visit the little cottage down in the forest.




                            The End




Source: http://www.fairytalia.com/classic-fairytales/the-brother-grimms/snow-white-and-the-
seven-dwarfs.html

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                                                                                           Handout 8G



                                     The Emperor’s New Clothes
                                                                           Hans Christian Anderson

Many years ago, there was an Emperor, who was so excessively fond of new clothes, that he spent
all his money in dress. He did not trouble himself in the least about his soldiers; nor did he care to
go either to the theater or the chase, except for the opportunities then afforded him for displaying
his new clothes. He had a different suit for each hour of the day; and as of any other king or
emperor, one is accustomed to say, "he is sitting in council," it was always said of him, "The
Emperor is sitting in his wardrobe."


Time passed merrily in the large town which was his capital; strangers arrived every
day at the court. One day, two rogues, calling themselves weavers, made their
appearance. They gave out that they knew how to weave stuffs of the most
beautiful colors and elaborate patterns, the clothes manufactured from which should                have
the wonderful property of remaining invisible to everyone who was unfit for the office he held, or
who was extraordinarily simple in character.


"These must, indeed, be splendid clothes!" thought the Emperor. "Had I such a suit, I might at
once find out what men in my realms are unfit for their office, and also be able to distinguish the
wise from the foolish! This stuff must be woven for me immediately." And he caused large sums of
money to be given to both the weavers in order that they might begin their work directly.


So the two pretended weavers set up two looms, and affected to work very busily, though in reality
they did nothing at all. They asked for the most delicate silk and the purest gold thread; put both
into their own knapsacks; and then continued their pretended work at the empty looms until late at
night.


"I should like to know how the weavers are getting on with my cloth," said the Emperor to himself,
after some little time had elapsed; he was, however, rather embarrassed, when he remembered that a
simpleton, or one unfit for his office, would be unable to see the manufacture. To be sure, he
thought he had nothing to risk in his own person; but yet, he would prefer sending somebody else,
to bring him intelligence about the weavers, and their work, before he troubled himself in the affair.

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All the people throughout the city had heard of the wonderful property the cloth was to possess;
and all were anxious to learn how wise, or how ignorant, their neighbors might prove to be.


"I will send my faithful old minister to the weavers," said the Emperor at last, after some
deliberation, "he will be best able to see how the cloth looks; for he is a man of sense, and no one
can be more suitable for his office than be is."


                       So the faithful old minister went into the hall, where the knaves were working with all
                       their might, at their empty looms. "What can be the meaning of this?" thought the old
                       man, opening his eyes very wide. "I cannot discover the least bit of thread on the
                       looms." However, he did not express his thoughts aloud.


The impostors requested him very courteously to be so good as to come nearer their looms; and
then asked him whether the design pleased him, and whether the colors were not very beautiful; at
the same time pointing to the empty frames. The poor old minister looked and looked; he could not
discover anything on the looms, for a very good reason, viz: there was nothing there. "What!"
thought he again. "Is it possible that I am a simpleton? I have never thought so myself; and no one
must know it now if I am so. Can it be that I am unfit for my office? No, that must not be said either.
I will never confess that I could not see the stuff."


"Well, Sir Minister!" said one of the knaves, still pretending to work. "You do not say whether the
stuff pleases you."


"Oh, it is excellent!" replied the old minister, looking at the loom through his spectacles. "This
pattern, and the colors, yes, I will tell the Emperor without delay, how very beautiful I think them."


"We shall be much obliged to you," said the impostors, and then they named the different colors
and described the pattern of the pretended stuff. The old minister listened attentively to their
words, in order that he might repeat them to the Emperor; and then the knaves asked for more silk
and gold, saying that it was necessary to complete what they had begun. However, they put all that
was given them into their knapsacks; and continued to work with as much apparent diligence as
before at their empty looms.



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                   The Emperor now sent another officer of his court to see how the men were getting on,
                   and to ascertain whether the cloth would soon be ready. It was just the same with this
               gentleman as with the minister; he surveyed the looms on all sides, but could see nothing at
               all but the empty frames.


"Does not the stuff appear as beautiful to you, as it did to my lord the minister?" asked the
impostors of the Emperor's second ambassador; at the same time making the same gestures as
before, and talking of the design and colors which were not there.


"I certainly am not stupid!" thought the messenger. "It must be that I am not fit for my good,
profitable office! That is very odd; however, no one shall know anything about it." And accordingly
he praised the stuff he could not see, and declared that he was delighted with both colors and
patterns. "Indeed, please your Imperial Majesty," said he to his sovereign when he returned, "the
cloth which the weavers are preparing is extraordinarily magnificent."


The whole city was talking of the splendid cloth which the Emperor had ordered to be woven at his
own expense.


And now the Emperor himself wished to see the costly manufacture, while it was still in the loom.
Accompanied by a select number of officers of the court, among whom were the two honest men
who had already admired the cloth, he went to the crafty impostors, who, as soon as they were
aware of the Emperor's approach, went on working more diligently than ever; although they still did
not pass a single thread through the looms.


"Is not the work absolutely magnificent?" said the two officers of the crown, already mentioned. "If
your Majesty will only be pleased to look at it! What a splendid design! What glorious colors!" and
at the same time they pointed to the empty frames; for they imagined that everyone else could see
this exquisite piece of workmanship.


"How is this?" said the Emperor to himself. "I can see nothing! This is indeed a terrible affair! Am I
a simpleton, or am I unfit to be an Emperor? That would be the worst thing that could happen--
Oh! The cloth is charming," said he, aloud. "It has my complete approbation." And he smiled most



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graciously, and looked closely at the empty looms; for on no account would he say that he could not
see what two of the officers of his court had praised so much.


All his retinue now strained their eyes, hoping to discover something on the looms, but they could
see no more than the others; nevertheless, they all exclaimed, "Oh, how beautiful!" and advised his
majesty to have some new clothes made from this splendid material, for the approaching procession.
"Magnificent! Charming! Excellent!" resounded on all sides; and everyone was uncommonly gay.
The Emperor shared in the general satisfaction; and presented the impostors with the riband of
an order of knighthood, to be worn in their button-holes, and the title of "Gentlemen Weavers."


The rogues sat up the whole of the night before the day on which the procession was to take
place, and had sixteen lights burning, so that everyone might see how anxious they were to finish
the Emperor's new suit. They pretended to roll the cloth off the looms; cut the air with their
scissors; and sewed with needles without any thread in them. "See!" cried they, at last. "The
Emperor's new clothes are ready!"


And now the Emperor, with all the grandees of his court, came to the weavers; and the rogues
raised their arms, as if in the act of holding something up, saying, "Here are your Majesty's
trousers! Here is the scarf! Here is the mantle! The whole suit is as light as a cobweb; one might
fancy one has nothing at all on, when dressed in it; that, however, is the great virtue of this delicate
cloth."


"Yes indeed!" said all the courtiers, although not one of them could see anything of this exquisite
manufacture.


"If your Imperial Majesty will be graciously pleased to take off your clothes, we will fit on the new
suit, in front of the looking glass."


The Emperor was accordingly undressed, and the rogues pretended to array him in his new suit;
the Emperor turning round, from side to side, before the looking glass.


"How splendid his Majesty looks in his new clothes, and how well they fit!" everyone cried out.
"What a design! What colors! These are indeed royal robes!"

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"The canopy which is to be borne over your Majesty, in the procession, is waiting," announced the
chief master of the ceremonies.


"I am quite ready," answered the Emperor. "Do my new clothes fit well?" asked he, turning himself
round again before the looking glass, in order that he might appear to be examining his handsome
suit.


The lords of the bedchamber, who were to carry his Majesty's train felt about on the ground, as if
they were lifting up the ends of the mantle; and pretended to be carrying something; for they would
by no means betray anything like simplicity, or unfitness for their office.


So now the Emperor walked under his high canopy in the midst of the procession, through the
streets of his capital; and all the people standing by, and those at the windows, cried out, "Oh!
How beautiful are our Emperor's new clothes! What a magnificent train there is to the mantle; and
how gracefully the scarf hangs!" in short, no one would allow that he could not see these much-
admired clothes; because, in doing so, he would have declared himself either a simpleton or unfit for
his office. Certainly, none of the Emperor's various suits, had ever made so great an impression, as
these invisible ones.


"But the Emperor has nothing at all on!" said a little child.


"Listen to the voice of innocence!" exclaimed his father; and what the child had said was whispered
from one to another.


                    "But he has nothing at all on!" at last cried out all the people. The Emperor was vexed,
                         for he knew that the people were right; but he thought the procession must go on now!
                                    And the lords of the bedchamber took greater pains than ever, to appear holding
                                                 up a train, although, in reality, there was no train to hold.


                                                                                                       The End


                              Source: http://www.fairytalia.com/classic-fairytales-hans-christian-
                               andersen/the-emperors-new-clothes.html

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                                                                                                  Handout 8I

                                   The Farmer and the Money-Lender
                                                                                  Compiled by Joseph Jacobs

                      There was once a farmer who suffered much at the hands of a money- lender. Good
                     harvests, or bad, the farmer was always poor, the money- lender rich. At the last, when
he hadn’t a farthing left, farmer went to the money-lender’s house, and said, “You can’t squeeze
water from a stone, and as you have nothing to get by me now, you might tell me the secret of
becoming rich.”


“My friend,” returned the money-lender, piously, “riches come from Ram –ask him.”


“Thank you, I will!” replied the simple farmer; so he prepared three girdle-cakes to last him on the
journey, and set out to find Ram.


First he met a Brahman, and to him he gave a cake, asking him to point out the road to Ram; but the
Brahman only took the cake and went on his way without a word, Next, the farmer met a Jogi or
devotee, and to him he gave a cake, without receiving any help in return. At last, he came upon a
poor man sitting under a tree, and finding out he was hungry, the kindly farmer gave him his last
cake, and sitting down to rest beside him, entered into conversation.


“And where are you going?” asked the poor man, at length.


“Oh, I have a long journey before me, for I am going to find Ram!" replied the farmer. “I don’t
suppose you could tell me which way to go?”


“Perhaps I can,” said the poor man, smiling, “for I am Ram! What do you want of me?”


Then the farmer told the whole story, and Ram, taking pity on him, gave him a conch shell, and
showed him how to blow it in a particular way, saying, “Remember! Whatever you wish for, you have
only to blow the conch that way, and your wish will be fulfilled. Only have a care of that money-
lender, for even magic is not proof against their wiles!”



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The farmer went back to his village rejoicing. In fact the money-lender noticed his high spirits at
once, and said to himself, “Some good fortune must have befallen the stupid fellow, to make him
hold his head so jauntily.” Therefore he went over to the simple farmer’s house, and congratulated
him on his good fortune, in such cunning words, pretending to have heard all about it, that before
long the farmer found himself telling the whole story–all except the secret of blowing the conch, for,
with all his simplicity, the farmer was not quite such a fool as to tell that.


Nevertheless, the money-lender determined to have the conch by hook or by crook, and as he was
villain enough not to stick at trifles, he waited for a favourable opportunity and stole the conch.


But, after nearly bursting himself with blowing the conch in every conceivable way, he was obliged
to give up the secret as a bad job. However, being determined to succeed he went back to the
farmer, and said, coolly, “Look here; I’ve got your conch, but I can’t use it; you haven’t got it, so it’s
clear you can’t use it either. Business is at a stand-still unless we make a bargain. Now, I promise to
give you back your conch, and never to interfere with your using it, on one condition, which is this,–
whatever you get from it, I am to get double.”


“Never!” cried the farmer; “that would be the old business all over again!”


“Not at all!” replied the wily money-lender; “you will have your share! Now, don’t be a dog in the
manger, for if you get all you want, what can it matter to you if I am rich or poor?”


At last, though it went sorely against the grain to be of any benefit to a money-lender, the farmer
was forced to yield, and from that time, no matter what he gained by the power of the conch, the
money-lender gained double. And the knowledge that this was so preyed upon the farmer’s mind
day and night, so that he had no satisfaction out of anything.


                     At last, there came a very dry season,–so dry that the farmer’s crops withered for want
                    of rain. Then he blew his conch, and wished for a well to water them, and lo! There was
                    the well, but the money-lender had two!–two beautiful new wells! This was too much for
                    any farmer to stand; and our friend brooded over it, and brooded over it, till at last a
                    bright idea came into his head. He seized the conch, blew it loudly, and cried out, “Oh,
                    Ram! I wish to be blind of one eye!” And so he was, in a twinkling, but the


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money-lender of course was blind of both, and in trying to steer his way between the two new wells,
he fell into one, and was drowned.
Now this true story shows that a farmer once got the better of a money- lender–but only by losing
one of his eyes.


                            The End




Source: http://www.authorama.com/indian-fairy-tales-22.html




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                                                                                                                     Handout 8J

                                                                        Saru Kani Kassen
                                                                                                     Japanese Fairy Tales No. 3

                      One day, a monkey carrying a persimmon seed noticed a crab with a rice ball in its claw.
                            The monkey was very hungry, and so asked the crab to trade the rice ball for the
                            seed. The crab thought this an unfair trade and refused. But the clever monkey said
to the crab, "Once you eat the rice ball it will be gone forever, but if you plant the
persimmon seed, it will grow into a tree and bear a never-ending supply of fruit."
The crab was persuaded, and the monkey got the rice ball.



The crab planted the persimmon seed in                                        the corner of her garden. She watered it daily,
telling it, "If you don't bud quickly I'll                                     dig you up with my hoe." The frightened seed
quickly sprouted. Then the crab                                                said, "If you don't hurry up and grow, I'll snip
you in half with these scissors." The                                            bud quickly grew into a big tree. Finally, the
crab threatened the tree, "Bear                                                  fruit or I'll chop you down with an axe." The
frightened tree promptly bore fruit.


By fall most of the persimmons had ripened bright red. The monkey noticed this and, climbing the
tree, began eating the ripest fruit. Soon the crab came along and, unable to climb the tree, asked
the monkey to bring some persimmons down to her. "Sure!" said the monkey, but instead, he
grabbed a hard, unripe fruit and threw it down at the crab's head, injuring her. The crab was laid up
in bed for many days.


Before long, the crab's children became worried about their bedridden mother and cried so much
that, unable to stand it any longer, a bee, a chestnut, a sewing needle and a stone mortar got
together and agreed to help the baby crabs get revenge on the monkey.


While the monkey was away from his house, they formed a plan of revenge: the chestnut hid in the
ashes of the monkey's fireplace, the baby crabs in the water tub in the kitchen, the bee in the
bucket of miso paste, a traditional seasoning made with soy beans, the needle in the monkey's bed,
and the mortar above the doorway. Then they waited for the monkey to return.

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In the evening, the monkey came home. "I'm so cold," he exclaimed, and just as he plopped down
next to the fire, the chestnut burst up from the ashes, scalding the monkey's behind. The monkey
ran yelping into the kitchen and dunked his hands in the tub to gather water to dowse his burning
pain. The baby crabs jumped out and snapped at him with their claws. At this, the monkey
dropped the jug and picked up the pail of soft miso to spread over his burn.         The bee
sprung out promptly and stung him left and right. The helpless monkey then          retreated to
his bed, but jumping into it, he was poked all over by the needle buried under the covers. Screaming
"Ouch! Ouch!" the monkey finally made to flee the house, but just as he got through the doorway,
the mortar clanged down on his head.


Groaning with pain, the monkey cried, "I promise I'll never misbehave again!"


                                                                       The End



Source: http://web-japan.org/kidsweb/folk/sarukani/sarukani01.html




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                                                                                                    55
                                                                                             Unit 1
                                                                                           Lesson 2




            Using Criteria to Assess Writing

                                            Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                       Meaning
                                                                       Style
                                                                       Form
                                                                       Conventions



Lesson 2

Learning Intentions:
                    establish important aspects of writing
                    use persuasive writing criteria to assess writing
                    state opinions and develop a point of view
                    build a position through use of detail, example, explanation
                    consider other opinions and points of view
                    use criteria to peer assess group paragraphs


Preparation:
                    copy Handout 1 (one per group of three students)
                    copy Handout 2 – OSCAR certificate (number depends on the number of
                    OSCAR “winners”)




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Lesson 2
Using Criteria to Assess Writing

                                                                       Details                                Materials

     1. Build Background Knowledge: The Clapping Institute
                    Have students return to their groups from last day.
                    Welcome them to the “Clapping Institute.” Refer to the Teacher Reference             Teacher Reference
                    sheet for instructions.                                                              “The Clapping Institute”
                    Proceed through the activity and debrief with students.


     2. Introduce the Concept: Peer Assessment                                                           Handout 1
                    Distribute Handout 1 (1 per group).
                    Go over the instructions with students, and tell them that before they do this,
                    you will model the process using the Hansel and Gretel paragraph from last day.


     3. Teacher Models: Hansel and Gretel paragraph
                    Ask students to take out Handout 5 from last day. Place Overhead 1 on the
                    overhead as a reminder. Read out loud.                                               Overhead 1
                    Using Overhead 2, model with students how you use the OSCAR criteria to
                    assess the Hansel and Gretel paragraph. Remember to be explicit and share            Overhead 2 &Teacher Reference
                    your thinking with the students. (See Teacher Reference)


     4. Independent Practice – Peer Assessment in Small Groups
                    Groups assess two different paragraphs using Handout 1.
                    As groups finish, teacher briefly conferences with students to look at their         Handout 1
                    highlighted criteria and hear their thinking.
                    When all groups and conferences are finished, teacher asks if there is a
                    paragraph that is “Ready to Publish”. The teacher may choose to read it aloud
                    and award the OSCAR Certificate (Handout 2).                                         Handout 2
                    There may not be a group winner at this time. The teacher may wish to have
                    students revise paragraphs using criteria and recommendations, and then award
                    certificates to all groups as they reach the “Ready to Publish” performance level.




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                                                                                                for Teacher Reference

                                                                The Clapping Institute
Purpose
     To have students see the importance of understanding and using criteria when assessing work.


Steps
     1. Welcome students to the Clapping Institute. Explain that clapping is a very important skill they will
             use throughout life, and today they will be judged on their ability to clap.
     2. Ask for three student volunteers to be “clappers”.
     3. Ask student #1to clap. Give no further instructions and absolutely no criteria. When the student
             has finished, record the mark on the board, and ask her/him to sit down.
             NOTE: Assign a low mark, out of 10, but do not offer any explanation.
     4. Before asking student #2 to clap, define what “good” clapping is. Share these criteria with the
             student before s/he claps. NOTE: Assign a mark that reflects the student’s performance given
             the criteria and record it on the board.
     5. Before asking student #3 to clap, ask her/him to talk about how s/he feels about the criteria. Invite
             the student to think of a real life situation where s/he would clap. What are the criteria for this form
             of clapping? Record this on the board. Invite the student to demonstrate how s/he would clap in this
             situation. Ask the student to assess their own clapping using descriptive language from the criteria.
             Offer the student feedback and perhaps another opportunity to clap. Finally, record your mark on
             the board.


Debrief
                    Ask the three students how they felt during the role play. You may prompt them with questions
                    such as:
                                 i. How did it feel to not know why you were clapping, and then be assigned a random
                                       grade?
                                ii. How did it feel to be part of the grading?
                               iii. How did it feel to be given feedback for improvement and a chance to show
                                       improvement?
                    Ask the class what they observed during the Clapping Institute. Was the process fair? Why or
                    why not?
                    Conclusion: Today you are going to be assessing your peers’ work. Let’s remember
                    what we learned about criteria when we are reading one another’s stories. It is not
                    sufficient to say, “I didn’t like your story!”
(Adapted from Ruth Sutton, www.nsrfnewyork.org/articles)




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                                                                                                                       58
                                                                                                      Handout 1


                                                      OSCAR Peer Assessment

Defend the Villain

Instructions
     1. In your groups, exchange your persuasive paragraph with another group.

     2. As a group, read the paragraph.

     3. In the blank next to each letter, identify the OSCAR criteria (the proof) in the paragraph.

     4. Make a judgment and shade the appropriate boxes (O,S,C, and A). Ask yourselves, “How well
             does this paragraph meet the expectations established in the OSCAR criteria?”

     5. To determine if the authors have written an effective persuasive paragraph, look at the shaded
             areas and discuss the strengths and areas in need of further work according to the criteria. Make a
             final recommendation: Does the paragraph require revision (major, some, minor) or is it ready to
             publish? Shade the appropriate box (R).

     6. Repeat 1 – 5 above with two other paragraphs. Each paragraph must be assessed by 2 different
             groups.




                    Criteria: O pinion is clearly stated
                              O
                                           S upports opinion with logical facts, details, examples
                                           S
                                           C onnects ideas with transitions
                                           C
                                           A ppeals to the target audience
                                           A
                                           R ecommendation: Revise or Publish?
                                           R




                                                                                                                   Pg 1



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                                                                                                                59
 Fairy Tale:                                                                   Villain:

                                                                               Group Number:

O State opinion
O

S Identify persuasive reasons
S

                                                                                            O
                                                                                            O
                                                                                            S
                                                                                            S
C List all effective transitions
C
                                                                                            C
                                                                                            C
                                                                                            A
                                                                                            A
A Identify one way the paragraph is appealing
A                                                                                           R
                                                                                            R


R Recommendation:
R                                               Revise              or   Publish




 Fairy Tale:                                                                   Villain:

                                                                               Group Number:

O State opinion
O

S Identify persuasive reasons
S

                                                                                            O
                                                                                            O
                                                                                            S
                                                                                            S
C List all effective transitions
C
                                                                                            C
                                                                                            C
                                                                                            A
                                                                                            A
A Identify one way the paragraph is appealing
A                                                                                               R
                                                                                                R


R Recommendation:
R                                                Revise             or   Publish (circle one)

                                                                                                     Pg 2



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                                                                                                    60
                                                                                          Overhead 1



Defend the Villain
                                                                       Sample Paragraph

                            Everybody thinks they know the story of Hansel and Gretel, but
             I’ll let you in on a little secret. Nobody knows the real story because
             nobody has ever heard my side of it. I’m not the guilty party. Those kids
             were vandalizing my property and stealing my stuff! Now I’m usually
             pretty calm, but when someone rips a gummy worm right off the trim of
             my window, I go a little crazy. It’s not the first time it’s happened.
             Lately, I’ve had a lot of dirty-faced kids taunting and tormenting me.
             They’re always gawking at me and my house, calling me an old, ugly
             hag. I tell you, it’s enough to drive an old lady crazy. If this isn’t bad
             enough, my government assistance has been cut off. I can’t afford to
             buy any food. The protein in my diet is down to nothing. Naturally,
             when I looked out the window and saw two perfectly good pieces of young
             meat, all I could think of was my hunger. Anyone in my position
             would’ve done the same, don’t you think? Besides, those kids were
             unwanted, abandoned by their own father. I thought I was doing them a
             favour and saving them from a lot of emotional upheaval later, or even
             starvation. They were literally eating me out of house and home. When
             you think about it, the father should be here defending himself, not me.




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                                                                                                 61
                                                                                                           Overhead 2



     Fairy Tale:                                                                           Villain:

                                                                                           Group Number:
     O           State opinion



     S           Identify persuasive reasons



                                                                                             O

                                                                                             S
 C           List all effective transitions


                                                                                             C
 A           Identify one way the paragraph is appealing

                                                                                             A
 R Recommendation:                                               Revise     or   Publish

                                                                                              R
62




     September, 2008 \Literacy\Write Path\08 09\Unit 1 Lessons 1 to 2.doc
                                                                                                                                       Overhead 2
                                                                                                                                 Teacher Reference




     Fairy Tale:                                Hansel and Gretel                                     Villain:   The Witch

                                                                                                      Group Number:          3

      O State opinion feels she is innocent because she
          Yes, the witch
                        had no other option but to eat them


      S Identify persuasive reasons:
                          they were vandalizing her property and stealing
                          her government assistance has been cut and she is
                          starving
                                                                                                         O
                          they were unwanted and abandoned anyhow
                          they were eating all that she had left (a weaker point –                       S
                          it connects to the first bullet)

       C List all effective transitions                                                                  C
                          “If this isn’t bad enough”, “Besides”

      A Identify one way the paragraph is appealing                                                      A
                          The tone is strong and consistent – the witch’s
                          point of view comes through loud and clear!
                                                                                                         R
       R Recommendation:                               Revise             or   Publish (Circle one)


     September, 2008 \ Literacy\ Write Path\08 09\ Unit 1 Lessons 1 to 2.doc
63
                                                                          Congratulations on your
                                                                          outstanding use of
                                                                      Persuasive Writing Criteria




                                                                                                    Handout 2
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64
Unit I – Teacher Reflections

Successes:
    • What aspects of the lessons in this unit contributed to student learning?




Challenges:
    • Which learning intentions are students still struggling with?




Next Steps:
    • Was the learning equally effective for all students?
    • What might I do differently to continue supporting students’ learning?




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                                                                                  65
   Introduction to the B.C. Performance Standards



                  Lesson 1 - Introducing the Performance Standards


                  Lesson 2 - Rewriting the Performance Standards


                  Lesson 3 - Assessing Student Writing with the
                                                               Revised Performance Standards




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                                                                                               66
                                                                                                  Unit 2
                                                                                                Lesson 1




        Introducing the Performance Standards

                                                 Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                      Meaning
                                                                      Style
                                                                      Form
                                                                      Conventions




   Lesson 1

   Learning Intentions:
                  explore, analyze and make meaning from the BC Performance Standards for Writing
                  Essays and Opinions


   Preparation:
                  copy Handouts 1 and 3 (1 per group of three to four students)
                  gather scissors (one pair per group of three to four students)
                  copy class set of Handouts 2 and 4




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                                                                                                     67
Lesson 1
       Understanding the Performance Standards
                                                           Details                                          Materials

1. Build Background Knowledge: Aspects of Writing
       •      Brainstorm / review students’ understanding of the three aspects of
              writing introduced in Unit 1 (Meaning, Style, Form).
       •      Distribute Handout 1. In groups of 3-4, students sort terms.                           Handout 1+ Teacher Reference
       •      Groups report to the class identifying terms in each aspect of writing
              and explain their rationale.
       •      Distribute Handout 2. Using Overhead 1, discuss each aspect of                         Handout 2 + Overhead 1
              writing.

2. Introduce the Structure of the Performance Standards
       •      Inform students that the terms they have been using are from the B.C.
              Performance Standards, a Ministry document that outlines what writing
              looks like at various levels of performance.
       •      Distribute Handout 3. Using Overhead 2, explain the structure:                         Handout 3 + Overhead 2
              -       Aspects of Writing (left hand side).
              -       Four Levels of Performance (across the page).
              -       The Snapshot (general description of each level of performance).
              -       The Criteria (within each aspect of writing, at all levels of
                      performance).
       •      Reassure students that it will take time and practice to become familiar
              with the Standards, but using and understanding them will help to
              improve their writing.

3. Teacher Models: Using Multiple Intelligences to Understand the
     Performance Standards
       •      Explain to students that, in a moment, they will be working in their
              groups to explore the language of a particular aspect of the
              Performance Standards using multiple intelligences. However, before
              they complete this activity in their groups, you are going to model what it
              should look like.
                                                                             (continued next page)




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                                                                                                                              68
                                                            Details                             Materials
 (from previous page)

        •      Distribute Handout 4. Ensure students have their copy of Handout 3       Handout 4
               beside them.
        •      Read through the purpose of the activity. Do not assign groups their
               aspect of writing.
        •      Using Overhead 3, model what the tasks should look like, using the
               Teacher Reference Sheet. The example is based on the aspect of
               STYLE.
        •      Task 3 (the jingle) is not included in the Overhead 3 Teacher            Overhead 3 Teacher Reference
               Reference Sheet . You may leave this for the students to discover on
               their own, or you may wish to prepare something and perform!

4.      Group Practice: Multiple Intelligences and the Performance Standards
        •      Assign groups one aspect of writing and instruct them to complete
               Handout 4 in their groups. (Some aspects will be repeated, depending
               on the size of the class.)
        •      Inform students that they will be responsible for reporting their
               information to the class. In other words, they will be responsible for
               teaching their classmates about their assigned aspect of writing.
        •      Depending on time, reporting may happen at the end of the period, or
               the next day.




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                                                                                                                       69
                                                                                                                      Handout 1

                                                                            Sort and Tell
   Directions

   This Handout contains key characteristics that describe different aspects of writing. Using
   scissors, cut along the lines and sort and categorize each quality in a way that makes the most sense
   to your group. Be prepared to share your rationale.




                  Clarity                                         Sequence         Sentence Length        FORM




          MEANING                                                     Spelling          End          Supporting Details




       Sentence Types                                CONVENTIONS                    Word Choice         Punctuation




              Beginning                                               Examples        STYLE                Ideas




                                                                                                         Sentence
              Information                                             Grammar          Middle
                                                                                                         Structure




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                                                                                                                            70
                                                                                                          Handout 1
                                                                                                    Teacher Reference



                                                                         Sort and Tell



            MEANING                                                   STYLE        FORM       CONVENTIONS




                     Ideas                                            Clarity     Beginning        Spelling




      Supporting Details                                         Word Choice       Middle        Punctuation




                 Examples                                    Sentence Types         End           Grammar




               Information                                  Sentence Length       Sequence    Sentence Structure




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                                                                                                                 71
                                                                                                                          Handout 2




                       Supporting                                                                 Word         Sentence      Sentence
  Ideas                                            Examples           Information   Clarity
                           Details                                                               Choice         Types         Length



                              MEANING                                                                 STYLE
                                   What you say                                                       How you say it




                                     ASPECTS of WRITING



                                   FORM                                                        CONVENTIONS
                           How you organize it                                          Following the “rules” of Standard English



                                                                                                                              Sentence
Beginning                  Middle                      End            Sequence      Spelling    Punctuation     Grammar
                                                                                                                              Structure




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                                                                                                                                    72
                                                                                                                           Overhead 1




                       Supporting                                                                  Word         Sentence      Sentence
  Ideas                                            Examples            Information   Clarity
                           Details                                                                Choice         Types         Length



                             MEANING                                                                   STYLE
                                   What you say                                                        How you say it




                                     ASPECTS of WRITING



                                  FORM                                                          CONVENTIONS
                           How you organize it                                           Following the “rules” of Standard English



                                                                                                                               Sentence
Beginning                 Middle                       End             Sequence      Spelling    Punctuation     Grammar
                                                                                                                               Structure




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                                                                                                                                     73
                                                                                                                                                   Handout 3


Performance Standards
Essays and Opinions


 Aspect                       Not Yet Within                             Meets Expectations                Fully Meets                   Exceeds Expectations
                              Expectations                               (Minimal Level)                   Expectations


 SNAPSHOT                     The writing is often                       The writing presents            The writing is clear and        The writing is clear,
                              fragmented; it may be                      connected ideas that            complete; it accomplishes       focused, and fully
                              long and rambling or too                   accomplish the basic            the purpose or task.            developed; it
                              brief to accomplish the                    purpose or task.                                                accomplishes the
                              purpose.                                                                                                   purpose and creates
                                                                                                                                         desired impact.
 MEANING                      • purpose is unclear; focus                • purpose clear; focus may      • purpose is clear;             • tightly focused; well-
 • ideas and                    is not sustained                           waver                           consistent focus                defined purpose
   information                • examples and details are                 • some relevant details and     • logically developed with      • vivid, relevant details
 • use of detail                irrelevant, too general, or                examples                        relevant details and            and examples; may show
 • use of sources               simplistic                               • some accurate information;      examples                        originality
                              • information is incomplete;                 may be incomplete or          • accurate and complete         • accurate and complete
                                may be inaccurate                          poorly integrated               information; well               information; skillfully
                                                                                                           integrated                      integrated


 STYLE                        • language is repetitive and               • language is clear and         • varied language; has some     • precise language chosen
 • clarity,                     often unclear                              varied                          impact; fits purpose            for effect
   variety, and               • simple, repetitive                       • some variety in sentences     • varied, complex sentences     • sentences are varied to
   impact of                    sentences                                                                                                  create a particular effect
   language


 FORM                         • introduction is not                      • introduction states simple    • introduction clearly states   • introduction catches
 • beginning,                   engaging; may omit                         thesis or purpose; attempts     purpose or thesis; engages      attention; offers well-
   middle, end                  purpose or thesis                          to engage reader                reader                          developed thesis
 • organization                 statement                                • logical organization          • logically organized and       • effective sequence and
   and sequence               • difficult to follow;                       sequence may be                 sequenced; varies               transitions make
 • transitions                  transitions are weak or                    ineffective                     transitions                     reasoning clear
                                missing                                  • explicit conclusion           • comes to closure; tries to    • strong conclusion has an
                              • may end without a logical                                                  have an impact                  impact
                                conclusion
 CONVENTIONS                  • frequent, repeated errors in             • some errors, but meaning      • may have occasional           • may make occasional
 • spelling                     basic language                             is clear                        errors                          errors when taking risks
 • punctuation                • resembles a rough draft;                 • some evidence of editing      • carefully edited and          • effectively edited and
 • sentence                     errors are not corrected                   and proofreading                proofread                       proofread
   structure
 • grammar (e.g.,
   modifiers,
   agreement,
   verb tense)



Adapted from the BC Performance Standards.



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                                                                                                                                                            74
                                                                                                                                                  Overhead 2


Performance Standards
Essays and Opinions


 Aspect                       Not Yet Within                             Meets Expectations                Fully Meets                   Exceeds Expectations
                              Expectations                               (Minimal Level)                   Expectations


 SNAPSHOT                     The writing is often                       The writing presents            The writing is clear and        The writing is clear,
                              fragmented; it may be                      connected ideas that            complete; it accomplishes       focused, and fully
                              long and rambling or too                   accomplish the basic            the purpose or task.            developed; it
                              brief to accomplish the                    purpose or task.                                                accomplishes the
                              purpose.                                                                                                   purpose and creates
                                                                                                                                         desired impact.
 MEANING                      • purpose is unclear; focus                • purpose clear; focus may      • purpose is clear;             • tightly focused; well-
 • ideas and                    is not sustained                           waver                           consistent focus                defined purpose
   information                • examples and details are                 • some relevant details and     • logically developed with      • vivid, relevant details
 • use of detail                irrelevant, too general, or                examples                        relevant details and            and examples; may show
 • use of sources               simplistic                               • some accurate information;      examples                        originality
                              • information is incomplete;                 may be incomplete or          • accurate and complete         • accurate and complete
                                may be inaccurate                          poorly integrated               information; well               information; skillfully
                                                                                                           integrated                      integrated


 STYLE                        • language is repetitive and               • language is clear and         • varied language; has some     • precise language chosen
 • clarity,                     often unclear                              varied                          impact; fits purpose            for effect
   variety, and               • simple, repetitive                       • some variety in sentences     • varied, complex sentences     • sentences are varied to
   impact of                    sentences                                                                                                  create a particular effect
   language


 FORM                         • introduction is not                      • introduction states simple    • introduction clearly states   • introduction catches
 • beginning,                   engaging; may omit                         thesis or purpose; attempts     purpose or thesis; engages      attention; offers well-
   middle, end                  purpose or thesis                          to engage reader                reader                          developed thesis
 • organization                 statement                                • logical organization          • logically organized and       • effective sequence and
   and sequence               • difficult to follow;                       sequence may be                 sequenced; varies               transitions make
 • transitions                  transitions are weak or                    ineffective                     transitions                     reasoning clear
                                missing                                  • explicit conclusion           • comes to closure; tries to    • strong conclusion has an
                              • may end without a logical                                                  have an impact                  impact
                                conclusion
 CONVENTIONS                  • frequent, repeated errors in             • some errors, but meaning      • may have occasional           • may make occasional
 • spelling                     basic language                             is clear                        errors                          errors when taking risks
 • punctuation                • resembles a rough draft;                 • some evidence of editing      • carefully edited and          • effectively edited and
 • sentence                     errors are not corrected                   and proofreading                proofread                       proofread
   structure
 • grammar (e.g.,
   modifiers,
   agreement,
   verb tense)



Adapted from the BC Performance Standards.


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                                                                                                                                                            75
                                                                                                               Handout 4


   Performance Standards
      for Multiple Intelligences!
   Purpose:
   With your group members, you are going to develop a better understanding of what the
   Performance Standards are, and how they will help you to improve your writing. You will do this
   by pooling your talents with your group, making the Performance Standards come to life
   through art and music. Your teacher will assign your group ONE aspect of writing from the
   Performance Standards (Meaning, Style, Form or Conventions). Your group is responsible
   for completing the tasks below. It is up to your group how you organize and conquer the work.


   Our Assigned Aspect:



   Tasks:
           1. Referring to the Performance Standards (Handout 3), carefully read through the four levels of
                  performance (Not Yet Within, Minimally Meets, Fully Meets, Exceeds) for your assigned
                  aspect of writing. Highlight any words or sections that you do not understand. Share your
                  questions with your group, and, working together, try to clarify any areas of confusion. As you
                  complete the activities, your understanding of the information will continue to grow.
           2. In the table below (Task #1) identify some KEY DESCRIPTIVE WORDS for each of
                  the bulleted points. Note how they change across the four levels of performance.
           3. Task #2 requires that you create a symbol to represent your Aspect of writing. Your symbol
                  will change how it appears as it moves across the four levels of performance.
           4. Task #3, the final task, asks that you create a catchy jingle or song that does the following:
                                 captures the essence of your Aspect of writing (think of explaining it to someone who
                                 has never heard of this before)
                                 mentions at least TWO of the performance levels, and how they differ from one
                                 another
                                 involves all group members, through words, actions, and /or gestures



                                                                                                                         p1


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                                                                                                                         76
                                                                                                              Handout 4


   Our Assigned Aspect:

                                                Not Yet Within        Meets Expectations   Fully Meets     Exceeds
                 Task
                                                Expectations           (Minimal Level)     Expectations   Expectations
     #1
     Key Descriptive
     Words




     #2
     Changing
     Symbol




     #3
     On a separate sheet, create a catchy jingle or song that does the following:
                            captures the essence of your aspect of writing (think of explaining it to someone who
                            has never heard of this before)
                            mentions at least TWO of the performance levels, and how they differ from one
                            another
                            involves all group members through words, actions, and/or gestures




                                                                                                                     p2

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                                                                                                                     77
                                                                                                             Overhead 3


   Our Assigned Aspect:

                                                Not Yet Within        Meets Expectations   Fully Meets     Exceeds
                 Task
                                                Expectations           (Minimal Level)     Expectations   Expectations
     #1
     Key Descriptive
     Words




     #2
     Changing
     Symbol




     #3
     On a separate sheet, create a catchy jingle or song that does the following:
                            captures the essence of your aspect of writing (think of explaining it to someone who
                            has never heard of this before)
                            mentions at least TWO of the performance levels, and how they differ from one
                            another
                            involves all group members through words, actions, and/or gestures




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                                                                                                                     78
                                                                                                                        Overhead 3
                                                                                                                 Teacher Reference



   Our Assigned Aspect: Style

                                              Not Yet Within          Meets Expectations      Fully Meets         Exceeds
                Task                           Expectations            (Minimal Level)        Expectations       Expectations
     #1
     Key                                   • Language =               • Language = clear,   • Language =        • Language =
     Descriptive                                 repetitive,             varied               varied, impact,     precise,
                                                 unclear                                      purpose             effective
     Words

                                           • Sentences =              • Sentences =         • Sentences =
                                                 repetitive, simple      variety              varied, complex   • Sentences =
                                                                                                                  varied,
                                                                                                                  effective




     #2
     Changing
     Symbol




     #3
     On a separate sheet, create a catchy jingle or song that does the following:
                    captures the essence of your aspect of writing (think of explaining it to someone who has
                    never heard of this before)
                    mentions at least TWO of the performance levels, and how they differ from one another
                    involves all group members through words, actions, and/or gestures




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                                                                                                                                79
                                                                                                     Unit 2
                                                                                                   Lesson 2




                                                             Rewriting the
                                                        Performance Standards
                                                Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                      Meaning
                                                                      Style
                                                                      Form
                                                                      Conventions




   Lesson 2

   Learning Intentions:
                  rewrite the Performance Standards in language that is meaningful and clear
                  use the revised Performance Standards to assess writing



   Preparation:
                  copy Handout 1A-P (2 copies of each)
                  copy class set of Handout 2 (template available on FirstClass, Grade 9 Writing
                  Assessment Conference)




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                                                                                                        80
Lesson 2
Rewriting the Performance Standards
                                                              Details                              Materials

1. Build Background Knowledge: Distilling Essential Information
         •       Think, Pair, Share - Ask students to think of a rule that exists in our society
                 and write it down. (E.g. All children are to attend school until the age of 16;
                 You cannot drive a car until you are 16; You are permitted to vote at the age
                 of 19.) Have students write an explanation as to why that rule exists.
         •       When they have finished, have students share their ideas with a partner.
         •       Next, ask them to rewrite their rule and explanation so that a four year old
                 child could understand.
         •       Ask them to think about what they are doing in order to create something
                 that is easier to understand yet still captures the main idea. The purpose of
                 this activity is to have students be metacognitive.
         •       Debrief thinking process with students. Possible responses may include:
                   i. Figure out what really matters (What is the most important, or essential
                        information?)
                  ii. Change the vocabulary
                 iii. Synthesize ideas
                 iv. Summarize ideas
                  v. Give simple examples

2. Introduce the Concept: Distilling Essential Information in the
       Performance Standards
     Explain to students that the Performance Standards are written in language
     that initially can be confusing and difficult to understand. Their task today is to
     rewrite the Performance Standards in simpler language that highlights essential
     information. The Standards will be a useful tool only if they understand their
     meaning.




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                                                                                                               81
                                                              Details                            Materials
3. Making it Easy: Criteria for Rewriting the Performance
     Standards
       •      Share with students the “Golden Rule” of distillation on Overhead 1.           Overhead 1
       •      Share with them an example of something you can easily distill because you
              know it so well. This may be a concept or an activity.
              (e.g. Trying to describe what is important in teaching is overwhelming.
              However, if I had to say what the essence of good teaching is for me, it
              would be…..)
       •      Ask students to think of and share some examples of things they can distill.
       •      As you debrief, note that when something is “distilled”, it decreases in
              volume and is more concentrated…. only the essential elements remain.
       •      Show Overhead 2 as an example of someone who looked at “meaning” in            Overhead 2
              the Performance Standards and then rewrote it, attempting to retain
              essential information that uses simpler language, is easier to understand,
              and is shorter in length.

4. Group Practice: Rewriting the Performance Standards
       •      Divide students into partners. Each partner group will receive a different
              Handout (see Handout 1A-P). This assumes there are 16 partner groups           Handout 1A-P
              in the class, so arrange groupings accordingly. Some groups may work on
              two handouts.
       •      There are several ways in which students’ final work may be compiled. For
              example, this may be done as a whole class process, or you may wish to
              compile it and present it to the class for revisions.
       •      A final draft of the revised Performance Standards needs to be
              transferred onto Handout 2. Although there is a hard copy of Handout 2
              in this resource, it will be difficult to manually transfer the revised
              Performance Standards. A template of Handout 2 is available on the             Handout 2
              English Language Arts Conference. To access, please go to FirstClass
              (desktop) – SD36 Staff Conferences – Curriculum/Student Support
              – Literacy K-12 – Grade 9 Writing Assessment Project.




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                             82
                                                                                                       Overhead 1




                                                                        The Golden Rule of
                                                                             Distillation...
                                                                      In order to simplify something
                                                                      and find its essence, you must
                                                                        know the original meaning
                                                                        or process inside out and
                                                                                backwards.




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                                                                                                             83
                                                                                                                                     Overhead 2

                                                     Distilled Criteria: Meaning

                                                                                                           Above and Beyond!
                                                                      •   My focus is consistent, clear, and
                                                                          shows original, thoughtful think-
                                                                          ing.
                    Meaning                                           •   Examples and details are unique
                                                                          and varied, yet unite to support
                        My Message
                                                                          my point.




                                        Arrived
                                                                                                                    On My Way
   •      I sustain a clear focus from beginning
          to end.
   •      My examples really help build and
          support my case.


                                                                                                                     •   My ideas, details and examples
                                                                                                                         are relevant, but not con-
                                                                                                                         nected.
                                                                                                                     •   I go off topic from time to time.




                                                                          •      I’m off track; I don’t have a clear purpose.
                                                                          •      My details and examples are very simple and not
                                                                                 convincing.

                                          Getting Started



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                                                                                                                                                 84
                                                                                                                       Handout 1A


                                                                                                                      MEANING
                                                                                                                  Not Yet Meeting

   REWRITING the PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

                  Consider the language in the Performance Standards. What are the most essential pieces
   of information that you need to understand, and how can you communicate them simply to your
   audience (your classmates)?


                                      The Aspect of “Meaning” in Persuasive Writing Really Means…


                                 BC Performance Standards                                    Distilled Group Version
                              Not Yet Meeting Expectations                                Not Yet Meeting Expectations
                         o       purpose may be unclear; focus is not                 o
                                 sustained; often very brief




                         o       supporting examples and details are often            o
                                 irrelevant, general or simplistic; it is difficult
                                 to follow the writer’s reasoning



                         o       information is often incomplete and may be           o
                                 inaccurate; tends to rely on limited sources
                                 and not be restated in writer’s own words



                         o       little sense of audience; tone may be                o
                                 inappropriate




   Adapted from the Quick Scale: Grade 9 Writing Essays and Opinions, and the Rating Scale: Grade 9 Writing to Communicate Ideas and
   Information




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                       85
                                                                                                                       Handout 1B


                                                                                                                      MEANING
                                                                                                                 Minimally Meeting

   REWRITING the PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

                  Consider the language in the Performance Standards. What are the most essential pieces
   of information that you need to understand, and how can you communicate them simply to your
   audience (your classmates)?



                                      The Aspect of “Meaning” in Persuasive Writing Really Means…


                                 BC Performance Standards                           Distilled Group Version
                              Minimally Meeting Expectations                     Minimally Meeting Expectations
                         o       purpose is clear, but the focus may waver   o
                                 due to ineffective transitions




                         o       some development through relevant           o
                                 examples or details; some unsupported
                                 generalizations or illogical reasoning



                         o       information is accurate, but may be in-     o
                                 complete or poorly integrated; draws on
                                 appropriate sources



                         o       some sense of audience; tries to use an     o
                                 appropriate tone




   Adapted from the Quick Scale: Grade 9 Writing Essays and Opinions, and the Rating Scale: Grade 9 Writing to Communicate Ideas and
   Information




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                                                                                                                                       86
                                                                                                                        Handout 1C


                                                                                                                       MEANING
                                                                                                                       Fully Meeting

   REWRITING the PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

                  Consider the language in the Performance Standards. What are the most essential pieces
   of information that you need to understand, and how can you communicate them simply to your
   audience (your classmates)?



                                      The Aspect of “Meaning” in Persuasive Writing Really Means…


                               BC Performance Standards                             Distilled Group Version
                                Fully Meeting Expectations                       Fully Meeting Expectations
                      o       purpose is clear; focus is maintained        o
                              throughout, with relationships among ideas
                              made explicit




                      o       carefully and logically developed with       o
                              relevant examples and details




                      o       information is accurate and complete; may    o
                              integrate information from several
                              appropriate sources



                      o       clear sense of audience; appropriate tone;   o
                              shows some consideration for the reader




      Adapted from the Quick Scale: Grade 9 Writing Essays and Opinions, and the Rating Scale: Grade 9 Writing to Communicate Ideas and
      Information




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                     87
                                                                                                                        Handout 1D


                                                                                                                       MEANING
                                                                                                                             Exceeds

   REWRITING the PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

                  Consider the language in the Performance Standards. What are the most essential pieces
   of information that you need to understand, and how can you communicate them simply to your
   audience (your classmates)?



                                      The Aspect of “Meaning” in Persuasive Writing Really Means…


                              BC Performance Standards                              Distilled Group Version
                                    Exceeds Expectations                            Exceeds Expectations
                     o       tightly focused, with all material contributing   o
                             to a well-defined purpose




                     o       logically developed with relevant, vivid          o
                             examples and details; may show originality




                     o       information is accurate and complete, often       o
                             skillfully integrated from a variety of
                             appropriate sources



                     o       clear sense of audience; appropriate tone;        o
                             shows consideration for reader and tries to
                             create an impact (where appropriate)



      Adapted from the Quick Scale: Grade 9 Writing Essays and Opinions, and the Rating Scale: Grade 9 Writing to Communicate Ideas and
      Information




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                     88
                                                                                                                        Handout 1E


                                                                                                                            STYLE
                                                                                                                  Not Yet Meeting




   REWRITING the PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

                  Consider the language in the Performance Standards. What are the most essential pieces
   of information that you need to understand, and how can you communicate them simply to your
   audience (your classmates)?



                                         The Aspect of “Style” in Persuasive Writing Really Means…


                              BC Performance Standards                              Distilled Group Version
                           Not Yet Meeting Expectations                       Not Yet Meeting Expectations
                     o       language is general, repetitive, and often   o
                             unclear; rarely uses technical language




                     o       sentence structure tends to be simple;       o
                             patterns are repeated




      Adapted from the Quick Scale: Grade 9 Writing Essays and Opinions, and the Rating Scale: Grade 9 Writing to Communicate Ideas and
      Information




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                     89
                                                                                                                        Handout 1F


                                                                                                                            STYLE
                                                                                                                  Minimally Meeting




   REWRITING the PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

                  Consider the language in the Performance Standards. What are the most essential pieces
   of information that you need to understand, and how can you communicate them simply to your
   audience (your classmates)?




                                         The Aspect of “Style” in Persuasive Writing Really Means…


                                BC Performance Standards                             Distilled Group Version
                             Minimally Meeting Expectations                       Minimally Meeting Expectations
                         o       language is clear and varied; may use some   o
                                 technical or specialized terms




                         o       sentence structure shows variety, but may    o
                                 repeat patterns; may be awkward in places




      Adapted from the Quick Scale: Grade 9 Writing Essays and Opinions, and the Rating Scale: Grade 9 Writing to Communicate Ideas and
      Information




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                     90
                                                                                                                        Handout 1G


                                                                                                                            STYLE
                                                                                                                       Fully Meeting




   REWRITING the PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

                  Consider the language in the Performance Standards. What are the most essential pieces
   of information that you need to understand, and how can you communicate them simply to your
   audience (your classmates)?




                                         The Aspect of “Style” in Persuasive Writing Really Means…


                                 BC Performance Standards                            Distilled Group Version
                                 Fully Meeting Expectations                       Fully Meeting Expectations
                        o       varies language according to topic and       o
                                purpose; may choose words for effect;
                                includes technical or specialized language
                                as needed



                        o       uses a variety of sentence forms; more       o
                                complex attempts are sometimes awkward




      Adapted from the Quick Scale: Grade 9 Writing Essays and Opinions, and the Rating Scale: Grade 9 Writing to Communicate Ideas and
      Information




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                     91
                                                                                                                        Handout 1H


                                                                                                                            STYLE
                                                                                                                             Exceeds




   REWRITING the PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

                  Consider the language in the Performance Standards. What are the most essential pieces
   of information that you need to understand, and how can you communicate them simply to your
   audience (your classmates)?




                                         The Aspect of “Style” in Persuasive Writing Really Means…



                                 BC Performance Standards                             Distilled Group Version
                                       Exceeds Expectations                           Exceeds Expectations
                         o      language is precise and carefully chosen to       o
                                develop subtleties of meaning and effect; uses
                                sophisticated technical or specialized language
                                as needed


                         o      varies sentence structure, sometimes to           o
                                create a particular effect




      Adapted from the Quick Scale: Grade 9 Writing Essays and Opinions, and the Rating Scale: Grade 9 Writing to Communicate Ideas and
      Information




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                     92
                                                                                                                          Handout 1I


                                                                                                                              FORM
                                                                                                                  Not Yet Meeting




   REWRITING the PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

                  Consider the language in the Performance Standards. What are the most essential pieces
   of information that you need to understand, and how can you communicate them simply to your
   audience (your classmates)?




                                          The Aspect of “Form” in Persuasive Writing Really Means…



                             BC Performance Standards                              Distilled Group Version
                          Not Yet Meeting Expectations                        Not Yet Meeting Expectations
                     o      introduction may not clearly identify the    o
                            purpose or offer a thesis statement




                     o      organization of ideas may be difficult to    o
                            follow, often because transitions are
                            awkward, disjointed, or omitted



                     o      conclusion may introduce new ideas or lack   o
                            a sense of closure, sometimes the writing
                            ends without a conclusion




      Adapted from the Quick Scale: Grade 9 Writing Essays and Opinions, and the Rating Scale: Grade 9 Writing to Communicate Ideas and
      Information




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                     93
                                                                                                                         Handout 1J


                                                                                                                              FORM
                                                                                                                  Minimally Meeting




   REWRITING the PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

                  Consider the language in the Performance Standards. What are the most essential pieces
   of information that you need to understand, and how can you communicate them simply to your
   audience (your classmates)?




                                          The Aspect of “Form” in Persuasive Writing Really Means…



                                BC Performance Standards                            Distilled Group Version
                             Minimally Meeting Expectations                      Minimally Meeting Expectations
                         o       introduction states the purpose and may     o
                                 offer a simple thesis statement; attempts
                                 to engage the reader



                         o       ideas are logically organized, but the      o
                                 sequence may be ineffective, and the
                                 transitions are sometimes abrupt



                         o       conclusion brings the work to an explicit   o
                                 end, but may have little impact




      Adapted from the Quick Scale: Grade 9 Writing Essays and Opinions, and the Rating Scale: Grade 9 Writing to Communicate Ideas and
      Information




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                     94
                                                                                                                        Handout 1K


                                                                                                                              FORM
                                                                                                                       Fully Meeting



   REWRITING the PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

                  Consider the language in the Performance Standards. What are the most essential pieces
   of information that you need to understand, and how can you communicate them simply to your
   audience (your classmates)?




                                          The Aspect of “Form” in Persuasive Writing Really Means…


                              BC Performance Standards                              Distilled Group Version
                               Fully Meeting Expectations                        Fully Meeting Expectations
                    o        introduction clearly states the thesis or      o
                               purpose and engages the audience




                     o       logically sequenced and organized; a variety   o
                             of transitions (linking words and phrases)
                             help to make the reasoning clear



                     o       conclusion brings a sense of closure;          o
                             attempts to have an impact on the reader




      Adapted from the Quick Scale: Grade 9 Writing Essays and Opinions, and the Rating Scale: Grade 9 Writing to Communicate Ideas and
      Information




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                     95
                                                                                                                         Handout 1L


                                                                                                                              FORM
                                                                                                                             Exceeds




   REWRITING the PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

                  Consider the language in the Performance Standards. What are the most essential pieces
   of information that you need to understand, and how can you communicate them simply to your
   audience (your classmates)?


                                          The Aspect of “Form” in Persuasive Writing Really Means…


                                 BC Performance Standards                             Distilled Group Version
                                        Exceeds Expectations                          Exceeds Expectations
                         o       introduction catches reader’s attention          o
                                 and presents a well-developed thesis
                                 statement



                         o       effective sequence and organization adds         o
                                 to the impact of the writing; transitions help
                                 to make the reasoning clear and convincing



                         o       conclusion brings the writing to a satisfying    o
                                 end; has the intended impact




      Adapted from the Quick Scale: Grade 9 Writing Essays and Opinions, and the Rating Scale: Grade 9 Writing to Communicate Ideas and
      Information




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                     96
                                                                                                                                             Handout 1M


                                                                                                                               CONVENTIONS
                                                                                                                                       Not Yet Meeting


   REWRITING the PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

                  Consider the language in the Performance Standards. What are the most essential pieces
   of information that you need to understand, and how can you communicate them simply to your
   audience (your classmates)?



                                  The Aspect of “Conventions” in Persuasive Writing Really Means…

                                  BC Performance Standards                                            Distilled Group Version
                               Not Yet Meeting Expectations                                     Not Yet Meeting Expectations
                         o       frequent, repeated errors in basic spelling              o
                                 and grammar distract the reader and may
                                 obscure meaning



                         o       no sense of control in sentence structure;               o
                                 often includes run-on sentences




                         o       frequent problems with agreement, verb                   o
                                 tenses, modifiers, or pronouns




                         o       resembles a rough draft; little evidence that            o
                                 the writing has been edited or proofread




                         o       legible                                                  o




                  Adapted from the Quick Scale: Grade 9 Writing Essays and Opinions, and the Rating Scale: Grade 9 Writing to Communicate Ideas and Information



September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                                            97
                                                                                                                                             Handout 1N


                                                                                                                               CONVENTIONS
                                                                                                                                      Minimally Meeting

   REWRITING the PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

                  Consider the language in the Performance Standards. What are the most essential pieces
   of information that you need to understand, and how can you communicate them simply to your
   audience (your classmates)?



                                  The Aspect of “Conventions” in Persuasive Writing Really Means…
                                 BC Performance Standards                                            Distilled Group Version
                              Minimally Meeting Expectations                                  Minimally Meeting Expectations
                         o       errors in spelling, punctuation and grammar             o
                                 occasionally distract the reader, but
                                 meaning is clear



                         o       follows basic rules for sentence structure,             o
                                 but may include some run-on sentences




                         o       may include problems with agreement, verb               o
                                 tenses, modifiers, or pronouns




                         o       some evidence of editing and proof-                     o
                                 reading:; obvious errors may have been
                                 corrected




                         o       legible, easy to read                                   o




                  Adapted from the Quick Scale: Grade 9 Writing Essays and Opinions, and the Rating Scale: Grade 9 Writing to Communicate Ideas and Information




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                                            98
                                                                                                                                            Handout 1O


                                                                                                                              CONVENTIONS
                                                                                                                                            Fully Meeting


   REWRITING the PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

                  Consider the language in the Performance Standards. What are the most essential pieces
   of information that you need to understand, and how can you communicate them simply to your
   audience (your classmates)?



                                  The Aspect of “Conventions” in Persuasive Writing Really Means…

                                 BC Performance Standards                                           Distilled Group Version
                                  Fully Meeting Expectations                                     Fully Meeting Expectations
                         o       may have occasional errors in spelling,                 o
                                 punctuation, and grammar




                         o       may include occasional errors or awkward-               o
                                 ness in complex sentence structures
                                    (e.g., inappropriate subordination)



                         o       verb tenses are consistent; may have                    o
                                 occasional problems with agreement or
                                 placement of modifiers



                         o       carefully edited and proofread                          o




                         o       presentation shows care and pride in work               o




                  Adapted from the Quick Scale: Grade 9 Writing Essays and Opinions, and the Rating Scale: Grade 9 Writing to Communicate Ideas and Information



September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                                            99
                                                                                                                         Handout 1P


                                                                                                           CONVENTIONS
                                                                                                                             Exceeds


   REWRITING the PERFORMANCE STANDARDS

                  Consider the language in the Performance Standards. What are the most essential pieces
   of information that you need to understand, and how can you communicate them simply to your
   audience (your classmates)?



                                  The Aspect of “Conventions” in Persuasive Writing Really Means…

                                 BC Performance Standards                                   Distilled Group Version
                                        Exceeds Expectations                                Exceeds Expectations
                         o       spelling, punctuation, and grammar are generally       o
                                 correct




                         o       errors in sentence structure are usually the           o
                                 result of experimentation or attempts to
                                 develop complex structures



                         o       may include occasional grammatical errors;             o
                                 these are usually subtle




                         o       effectively edited and proofread                       o




                         o       presentation shows pride in work; may include          o
                                 special features (e.g., illustrations, variations in
                                 typeface)



      Adapted from the Quick Scale: Grade 9 Writing Essays and Opinions, and the Rating Scale: Grade 9 Writing to Communicate Ideas and
      Information



September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                   100
                                                                                                                                     Handout 2




Performance Standards
Essays and Opinions

Aspect                       Not Yet Within                            Meets Expectations       Fully Meets              Exceeds Expectations
                             Expectations                              (Minimal Level)          Expectations


SNAPSHOT                     The writing is often                      The writing presents   The writing is clear and   The writing is clear,
                             fragmented; it may be                     connected ideas that   complete; it               focused, and fully
                             long and rambling or                      accomplish the basic   accomplishes the           developed; it
                             too brief to accomplish                   purpose or task.       purpose or task.           accomplishes the
                             the purpose.                                                                                purpose and creates
                                                                                                                         desired impact.
MEANING
• ideas and
  information
• use of detail
• use of sources




STYLE
• clarity,
  variety, and
  impact of
  language


FORM
• beginning,
  middle, end
• organization
  and sequence
• transitions




CONVENTIONS
• spelling
• punctuation
• sentence
  structure
• grammar (e.g.,
  modifiers,
  agreement,
  verb tense)



Adapted from the BC Performance Standards.


 September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                          101
                                                                                                      Unit 2
                                                                                                   Lesson 3



                     Assessing Student Writing with the Revised
                              Performance Standards
                                                 Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                      Meaning
                                                                      Style
                                                                      Form
                                                                      Conventions



   Lesson 3

   Learning Intentions:
                  assess writing using the revised Performance Standards and use the criteria to explain
                  decisions
                  understand how using the revised Performance Standards to assess writing leads to
                  improved writing


   Preparation:
                  make 4 overhead transparencies of the revised Performance Standards (from Lesson 2)
                  copy four revised Performance Standards for each student
                  copy 10 extra revised Performance Standards (1 per three students), cut them up into
                  pieces and place each one in an envelope
                  copy class set of Handouts 1, 2,3 and 4




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                           102
Lesson 3
Assessing Student Writing with the Revised Performance Standards

                                                             Details                         Materials

1. Access Background Knowledge: Should P.E. be Mandatory?
      •      In this lesson, students are going to assess four different student
             papers. The Prompt is: “Should PE be a required subject?”
      •      Lead a “Think, Pair, Share” with the students, asking them to
             brainstorm their initial thoughts to that question. Have them
             then share their thinking with a partner, and then debrief with the
             entire class, recording their responses on the overhead or
             whiteboard.

2. Introduce the Concept: Peer Assessment Using the Revised
      Performance Standards
      •      Explain to students that the goal of today’s lesson is to assess four
             different examples of student persuasive writing using the revised
             Performance Standards.
      •      After today’s lesson, students should be very familiar with all four
             aspects of the Performance Standards. In future lessons, students
             will be comfortable with the language of either the revised or the
             standard version of the Performance Standards.
      •      Arrange students in groups of three. Remind them that last day, the
             class revised and distilled the Performance Standards. In their
             groups, they are going to see how much they remember by sorting
             out the puzzle in the envelopes.
      •      Distribute envelopes. Students work to sort the puzzle and place        10 envelopes of revised
             the descriptors in the correct category.                                Performance Standards

      •      Share with students the correct version on the overhead.
                                                                                     4 copies of revised
      •      Distribute four clean copies of the revised Performance Standards
                                                                                     Performance Standards for
             to each student.
                                                                                     each student




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                                                                                                               103
                                                              Details                                  Materials
3. Teacher Models: Think Aloud Using the Revised Performance
        Standards
       •      Distribute Handout 1. Using Overhead 1, ask students to have Handout           Handout 1
              1, plus one copy of the revised Performance Standards on their desks.          Overhead 1
       •      Tell students that you are going to model the process of assessing this
              paper. You are going to show them your thinking and how you make the
              decisions you do.
       •      Before you model, allow students to read through the paper.
       •      Model the assessment process in a manner that is natural for you. For
              example, you may wish to read through the paper in its entirety first before   Clean overhead of the
              you start to highlight the Performance Standards, or you may wish to read      revised Performance
              and assess simultaneously, highlighting the criteria on the Overhead.          Standards
              Whatever process you choose, be very explicit in your thinking, sharing why
              you have highlighted certain things.
       •      Overall, Handout 1 is “Minimally Meeting Expectations.”
       •      When you have completed Handout 1, ask students to place Handout 2             Handout 2 & Overhead 2
              and another copy of the Performance Standards in front of them.
       •      This time, before you show them your thinking, ask students to work in their   Clean overhead of the
              groups of three to assess Handout 2. Have them complete the process as         revised Performance
              you modelled for the first paper. Ask students to use a pencil to circle the   Standards
              criteria. They can use their highlighters once you go through it with them.    Highlighters
       •      Once again, be very explicit in your thinking so you model the assessment      Pencils
              process.
       •      Overall Handout 2 is “Not Yet Within Expectations.”
       •      NOTE: If you would like some guidance in the assessment process, refer
              to the Teacher Guidelines for each of the handouts. These are the
              regular Performance Standards, but the criteria will be the same as the
              revised Standards you developed with your class.

4. Group Practice: Using the Revised Performance Standards
       •      Have students complete the process for Handouts 3 and 4 in their               Handouts 3 & 4
              groups.                                                                        Overheads 3 & 4
       •      When students have finished, debrief with them, sharing your
              highlighted revised Performance Standards for Handouts 3 and 4.                2 clean overheads of the
       •      Ask students how using the Performance Standards in this way will              revised Performance

              help to improve their own writing.                                             Standards




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                        104
                                                                                                        Handout 1

                                                                  Student Writing Sample
                                                               Should PE be a Required Subject?

                  P.E. should be a required subject in school. It gives you career direction, the ability to

           work with others, and it keeps you in shape. These are the three supporting points why PE
           should be a required subject.


                  PE is good if you want to play sports as a career. The PE class shows you to play
           sports. How would you know if you’re good at it if you haven’t played sports? Maybe
           you will find out you’re really good at a certain sport and be able to make a career out of
           it.


                  PE gives you the ability to work with others and work as a team. It teaches you to
           work in different situations. These skills will help you to get a job and helps you to
           communicate with people outside of school.


                  P.E. keeps you in shape. Every day you get exercise in PE class. This helps you to not
           get tired all the time, and gives you energy to work harder in other classes. Being in
           shape makes you feel better about yourself.


                  P.E. should be a required subject because of the following things: how to play sports,
           work as a team, and keeps you in shape. These reasons make PE as important as English.




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                               105
                                                                                                         Overhead 1


                                                                  Student Writing Sample


                                                                      Should PE be a Required Subject?

                  P.E. should be a required subject in school. It gives you career direction, the ability to
           work with others, and it keeps you in shape. These are the three supporting points why PE
           should be a required subject.


                  PE is good if you want to play sports as a career. The PE class shows you to play
           sports. How would you know if you’re good at it if you haven’t played sports? Maybe
           you will find out you’re really good at a certain sport and be able to make a career out of
           it.


                  PE gives you the ability to work with others and work as a team. It teaches you to
           work in different situations. These skills will help you to get a job and helps you to
           communicate with people outside of school.


                  P.E. keeps you in shape. Every day you get exercise in PE class. This helps you to not
           get tired all the time, and gives you energy to work harder in other classes. Being in
           shape makes you feel better about yourself.


                  P.E. should be a required subject because of the following things: how to play sports,
           work as a team, and keeps you in shape. These reasons make PE as important as English.




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                               106
                                                                                                                                                   Handout 1
                                                                                                                                        Teacher Reference


Performance Standards
Essays and Opinions

Aspect                      Not Yet Within                             Meets Expectations               Fully Meets                   Exceeds Expectations
                            Expectations                               (Minimal Level)                  Expectations


SNAPSHOT                    The writing is often                       The writing presents           The writing is clear and        The writing is clear,
                            fragmented; it may be                      connected ideas that           complete; it accomplishes       focused, and fully
                            long and rambling or                       accomplish the basic           the purpose or task.            developed; it
                            too brief to accomplish                    purpose or task.                                               accomplishes the
                            the purpose.                                                                                               purpose and creates
                                                                                                                                      desired impact.
MEANING                     • purpose is unclear;                      • purpose clear; focus may     • purpose is clear;             • tightly focused; well-
• ideas and                   focus is not sustained                     waver                          consistent focus                defined purpose
  information               • examples and details                     • some relevant details and    • logically developed with      • vivid, relevant details and
• use of detail               are irrelevant, too                        examples                       relevant details and            examples; may show
• use of sources              general, or simplistic                   • some accurate                  examples                        originality
                            • information is                             information; may be          • accurate and complete         • accurate and complete
                              incomplete; may be                         incomplete or poorly           information; well               information; skillfully
                              inaccurate                                 integrated                     integrated                      integrated


STYLE                       • language is repetitive                   • language is clear and        • varied language; has some     • precise language chosen for
• clarity,                    and often unclear                          varied                         impact; fits purpose            effect
  variety, and              • simple, repetitive                       • some variety in sentences    • varied, complex sentences     • sentences are varied to
  impact of                   sentences                                                                                                 create a particular effect
  language


FORM                        • introduction is not                      • introduction states simple   • introduction clearly states   • introduction catches
• beginning,                  engaging; may omit                         thesis or purpose;             purpose or thesis; engages      attention; offers well-
  middle, end                 purpose or thesis                          attempts to engage reader      reader                          developed thesis
• organization                statement                                • logical organization         • logically organized and       • effective sequence and
  and sequence              • difficult to follow;                       sequence may be                sequenced; varies               transitions make reasoning
• transitions                 transitions are weak or                    ineffective                    transitions                     clear
                              missing                                  • explicit conclusion          • comes to closure; tries to    • strong conclusion has an
                            • may end without a                                                         have an impact                  impact
                              logical conclusion
CONVENTIONS                 • frequent, repeated                         • some errors, but           • may have occasional           • may make occasional
• spelling                    errors in basic language                     meaning is clear             errors                          errors when taking risks
• punctuation               • resembles a rough draft;                   • some evidence of           • carefully edited and          • effectively edited and
• sentence                    errors are not corrected                     editing and                  proofread                       proofread
  structure                                                                proofreading
• grammar (e.g.,
  modifiers,
  agreement,
  verb tense)



Adapted from the BC Performance Standards.


 September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                                           107
                                                                                                        Handout 2

                                                                Student Writing Samples


                                                              Should PE be a Required Subject?


                  In my mind physical education is good for your body, without physical education
   student would be gaining a lot of weight not getting the proper exercise therefore it is a required
   class unit grade 11, then it is you choice but, my choice would be sticking with the program.
   The program helps you to develop the skills you need for the future. I think fitness is good for
   everybody like your heart rate would be really high same with your blood pressure.


                  I say people these days are just lazy, and don’t want to have fun well I like to have fun
   and exercise at the same time. Without P.E. it would not be the same. Running and getting
   the best time you ever had in your life would make happy, also making your parent really
   happy. P.E. is one of the greatest classes. I think it helps your body tone to the point to make
   you satisfied. I’m just trying to tell you that P.E. is really important, so try to sick with it
   because it is also the easy class.


                  My class has seven grade ten girls and about 15 boys. That is showing that guys like
   to work out and some girl don’t really what to try. I tried and now I’m the top grade 10 girl
   running that shows me that I’m doing a good job and showing other to try.


                  So just try your best to stay fit and you will also be the number one runner or the
   number one shooter. You just need to put a bit of effort into something and you will see the
   results.




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                              108
                                                                                                      Overhead 2



                                                                Student Writing Samples


                                                              Should PE be a Required Subject?


                  In my mind physical education is good for your body, without physical education
   student would be gaining a lot of weight not getting the proper exercise therefore it is a required
   class unit grade 11, then it is you choice but, my choice would be sticking with the program.
   The program helps you to develop the skills you need for the future. I think fitness is good for
   everybody like your heart rate would be really high same with your blood pressure.


                  I say people these days are just lazy, and don’t want to have fun well I like to have fun
   and exercise at the same time. Without P.E. it would not be the same. Running and getting
   the best time you ever had in your life would make happy, also making your parent really
   happy. P.E. is one of the greatest classes. I think it helps your body tone to the point to make
   you satisfied. I’m just trying to tell you that P.E. is really important, so try to sick with it
   because it is also the easy class.


                  My class has seven grade ten girls and about 15 boys. That is showing that guys like
   to work out and some girl don’t really what to try. I tried and now I’m the top grade 10 girl
   running that shows me that I’m doing a good job and showing other to try.


                  So just try your best to stay fit and you will also be the number one runner or the
   number one shooter. You just need to put a bit of effort into something and you will see the
   results.




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                              109
                                                                                                                                                   Handout 2
                                                                                                                                        Teacher Reference


Performance Standards
Essays and Opinions

Aspect                     Not Yet Within                              Meets Expectations               Fully Meets                   Exceeds Expectations
                           Expectations                                (Minimal Level)                  Expectations


SNAPSHOT                   The writing is often                        The writing presents           The writing is clear and        The writing is clear,
                           fragmented; it may be                       connected ideas that           complete; it accomplishes       focused, and fully
                           long and rambling or                        accomplish the basic           the purpose or task.            developed; it
                           too brief to accomplish                     purpose or task.                                               accomplishes the
                           the purpose.                                                                                                purpose and creates
                                                                                                                                      desired impact.
MEANING                    • purpose is unclear; focus                 • purpose clear; focus may     • purpose is clear;             • tightly focused; well-
• ideas and                  is not sustained                            waver                          consistent focus                defined purpose
  information              • examples and details are                  • some relevant details and    • logically developed with      • vivid, relevant details and
• use of detail              irrelevant, too general, or                 examples                       relevant details and            examples; may show
• use of sources             simplistic                                • some accurate                  examples                        originality
                           • information is                              information; may be          • accurate and complete         • accurate and complete
                             incomplete; may be                          incomplete or poorly           information; well               information; skillfully
                             inaccurate                                  integrated                     integrated                      integrated


STYLE                      • language is repetitive and                • language is clear and        • varied language; has some     • precise language chosen
• clarity,                   often unclear                               varied                         impact; fits purpose            for effect
  variety, and             • simple, repetitive                        • some variety in sentences    • varied, complex sentences     • sentences are varied to
  impact of                  sentences                                                                                                  create a particular effect
  language


FORM                       • introduction is not                       • introduction states simple   • introduction clearly states   • introduction catches
• beginning,                 engaging; may omit                          thesis or purpose;             purpose or thesis; engages      attention; offers well-
  middle, end                purpose or thesis                           attempts to engage reader      reader                          developed thesis
• organization               statement                                 • logical organization         • logically organized and       • effective sequence and
  and sequence             • difficult to follow;                        sequence may be                sequenced; varies               transitions make reasoning
• transitions                transitions are weak or                     ineffective                    transitions                     clear
                             missing                                   • explicit conclusion          • comes to closure; tries to    • strong conclusion has an
                           • may end without a                                                          have an impact                  impact
                             logical conclusion
CONVENTIONS                • frequent, repeated errors                 • some errors, but meaning     • may have occasional           • may make occasional
• spelling                   in basic language                           is clear                       errors                          errors when taking risks
• punctuation              • resembles a rough draft;                  • some evidence of editing     • carefully edited and          • effectively edited and
• sentence                   errors are not corrected                    and proofreading               proofread                       proofread
  structure
• grammar (e.g.,
  modifiers,
  agreement,
  verb tense)



Adapted from the BC Performance Standards.


 September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                                         110
                                                                                                               Handout 3

                                                                Student Writing Samples

                                                        Should PE be a Required Subject?

                  Balance is the key to a healthy lifestyle. Understanding that all activities are equally
   good in different ways is essential to a happy lifestyle. P.E. and the fine arts courses help to
   broaden the spectrum of the courses deemed “important”; P.E. in particular because it is completely
   separate from the academic courses. By building character and presenting numerous health and
   educational benefits, P.E. has become just as much a part of the educational system as French or
   math.
                  P.E. seems to reveal the true character of those who take it. Someone whom you thought
   weak could reveal themselves as strong and you may be inclined to found a friendship with that
   person based upon that respect. In turn, you may pleasantly surprise yourself in P.E. by quickly
   becoming stronger or faster; you may build confidence and that confidence can be carried over to
   the remainder of your academic and social life. Also, as cliché as this may sound, the best lessens
   on teamwork and sportsmanship are always learned in P.E. class.
                  Moreover, there are a myriad of health benefits to be found in gym class for those seeking
   them. Picture, if you will, a pudgy girl wearing size sixteen pants who feels fat and insecure
   because of her excessive body mass at the beginning of September. Then, ten months later, this
   same girl is very popular, no longer insecure and a very healthy size twelve. She knows that had
   she not been continually urged by her P.E. teacher to run her fastest, try her hardest and told not
   to worry just because she was slow, she wouldn’t have lost the weight healthily. That was a true
   story and the reason why I have become an advocate for P.E.
                  Lastly, P.E. provides, above all else, a broader view on the world if only by showing what
   one should be teaching kids. What good is being extremely well educated if one is unhealthy or
   miserable? Life cannot be all about one thing (in this case academics); P.E. demonstrates that.
                  In conclusion, P.E. isn’t just about running around a track or throwing a ball through a
   hoop. It’s about building confidence, making friends and above all else realizing that education is
   about more than books. Athletes benefit from P.E. by having their moment in the spotlight. Non-
   athletes benefit by building muscle and confidence. There is no substitution for fresh air and
   exercise. In this modern and hectic world let us re-introduce teenagers to the haven that is sports.




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                    111
                                                                                                               Overhead 3

                                                                Student Writing Samples

                                                        Should PE be a Required Subject?

                  Balance is the key to a healthy lifestyle. Understanding that all activities are equally
   good in different ways is essential to a happy lifestyle. P.E. and the fine arts courses help to
   broaden the spectrum of the courses deemed “important”; P.E. in particular because it is completely
   separate from the academic courses. By building character and presenting numerous health and
   educational benefits, P.E. has become just as much a part of the educational system as French or
   math.
                  P.E. seems to reveal the true character of those who take it. Someone whom you thought
   weak could reveal themselves as strong and you may be inclined to found a friendship with that
   person based upon that respect. In turn, you may pleasantly surprise yourself in P.E. by quickly
   becoming stronger or faster; you may build confidence and that confidence can be carried over to
   the remainder of your academic and social life. Also, as cliché as this may sound, the best lessens
   on teamwork and sportsmanship are always learned in P.E. class.
                  Moreover, there are a myriad of health benefits to be found in gym class for those seeking
   them. Picture, if you will, a pudgy girl wearing size sixteen pants who feels fat and insecure
   because of her excessive body mass at the beginning of September. Then, ten months later, this
   same girl is very popular, no longer insecure and a very healthy size twelve. She knows that had
   she not been continually urged by her P.E. teacher to run her fastest, try her hardest and told not
   to worry just because she was slow, she wouldn’t have lost the weight healthily. That was a true
   story and the reason why I have become an advocate for P.E.
                  Lastly, P.E. provides, above all else, a broader view on the world if only by showing what
   one should be teaching kids. What good is being extremely well educated if one is unhealthy or
   miserable? Life cannot be all about one thing (in this case academics); P.E. demonstrates that.
                  In conclusion, P.E. isn’t just about running around a track or throwing a ball through a
   hoop. It’s about building confidence, making friends and above all else realizing that education is
   about more than books. Athletes benefit from P.E. by having their moment in the spotlight. Non-
   athletes benefit by building muscle and confidence. There is no substitution for fresh air and
   exercise. In this modern and hectic world let us re-introduce teenagers to the haven that is sports.




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                     112
                                                                                                                                                   Handout 3
                                                                                                                                         Teacher Reference


Performance Standards
Essays and Opinions

Aspect                       Not Yet Within                            Meets Expectations               Fully Meets                   Exceeds Expectations
                             Expectations                              (Minimal Level)                  Expectations


SNAPSHOT                     The writing is often                      The writing presents           The writing is clear and        The writing is clear,
                             fragmented; it may be                     connected ideas that           complete; it                    focused, and fully
                             long and rambling or                      accomplish the basic           accomplishes the                developed; it
                             too brief to accomplish                   purpose or task.               purpose or task.                accomplishes the
                             the purpose.                                                                                             purpose and creates
                                                                                                                                      desired impact.
MEANING                      • purpose is unclear; focus               • purpose clear; focus may     • purpose is clear;             • tightly focused; well-
• ideas and                    is not sustained                          waver                          consistent focus                defined purpose
  information                • examples and details are                • some relevant details and    • logically developed with      • vivid, relevant details and
• use of detail                irrelevant, too general,                  examples                       relevant details and            examples; may show
• use of sources               or simplistic                           • some accurate                  examples                        originality
                             • information is                            information; may be          • accurate and complete         • accurate and complete
                               incomplete; may be                        incomplete or poorly           information; well               information; skillfully
                               inaccurate                                integrated                     integrated                      integrated


STYLE                        • language is repetitive                  • language is clear and        • varied language; has          • precise language chosen
• clarity,                     and often unclear                         varied                         some impact; fits purpose       for effect
  variety, and               • simple, repetitive                      • some variety in sentences    • varied, complex               • sentences are varied to
  impact of                    sentences                                                                sentences                       create a particular effect
  language


FORM                         • introduction is not                     • introduction states simple   • introduction clearly states   • introduction catches
• beginning,                   engaging; may omit                        thesis or purpose;             purpose or thesis;              attention; offers well-
  middle, end                  purpose or thesis                         attempts to engage reader      engages reader                  developed thesis
• organization                 statement                               • logical organization         • logically organized and       • effective sequence and
  and sequence               • difficult to follow;                      sequence may be                sequenced; varies               transitions make
• transitions                  transitions are weak or                   ineffective                    transitions                     reasoning clear
                               missing                                 • explicit conclusion          • comes to closure; tries to    • strong conclusion has an
                             • may end without a                                                        have an impact                  impact
                               logical conclusion
CONVENTIONS                  • frequent, repeated errors               • some errors, but meaning     • may have occasional           • may make occasional
• spelling                     in basic language                         is clear                       errors                          errors when taking risks
• punctuation                • resembles a rough draft;                • some evidence of editing     • carefully edited and          • effectively edited and
• sentence                     errors are not corrected                  and proofreading               proofread                       proofread
  structure
• grammar (e.g.,
  modifiers,
  agreement,
  verb tense)



Adapted from the BC Performance Standards.


 September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                                          113
                                                                                                             Handout 4

                                                                Student Writing Samples

                                                                      Should PE be a Required Subject?


                  I know a lot of people that would rather chose a different course other than taking P.E.
           What jobs would you need good marks in P.E. for! You don’t need P.E. to be a rocket
           scientist. Physical Education should be an elective.


                  First of all, there are a lot of people who are smart and get A’s in everything else but
           get brought down because they are not athletic and get bad marks in gym. They’re
           smooth sailing and then they get gym which drops their grade point average. My mark
           gets effected because I’m not a total non-athlete but I’m not the best either, and that where
           my marks go down. If gym was an elective the people who are athletic can take it and get
           an A, and the ones who aren’t can pick something they’re good at.


                  Secondly, you don’t need to get straight A’s in P.E. to be a rocket scientist. I’m sure
           Einstein wasn’t athletic, but look how smart and great he turned out to be. Also, what jobs
           can you think of that you would need a good mark in P.E. to get hired for? A gym
           teacher, a coach, a hockey player? All athletic jobs. I’m sure if you weren’t athletic you
           wouldn’t go try out for the basketball team. Being a good athlete does not ensure you will
           be successful, but being smart does.


                  To sum it all up, P.E. should be an elective. It’ll still be there for the athletic people who
           want to take it, and for the non-athletic people, they can chose a subject that they excel at.
           Making P.E. an elective is a fair and logical solution.




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                   114
                                                                                                            Overhead 4

                                                                Student Writing Samples

                                                                      Should PE be a Required Subject?


                  I know a lot of people that would rather chose a different course other than taking P.E.
           What jobs would you need good marks in P.E. for! You don’t need P.E. to be a rocket
           scientist. Physical Education should be an elective.


                  First of all, there are a lot of people who are smart and get A’s in everything else but
           get brought down because they are not athletic and get bad marks in gym. They’re
           smooth sailing and then they get gym which drops their grade point average. My mark
           gets effected because I’m not a total non-athlete but I’m not the best either, and that where
           my marks go down. If gym was an elective the people who are athletic can take it and get
           an A, and the ones who aren’t can pick something they’re good at.


                  Secondly, you don’t need to get straight A’s in P.E. to be a rocket scientist. I’m sure
           Einstein wasn’t athletic, but look how smart and great he turned out to be. Also, what jobs
           can you think of that you would need a good mark in P.E. to get hired for? A gym
           teacher, a coach, a hockey player? All athletic jobs. I’m sure if you weren’t athletic you
           wouldn’t go try out for the basketball team. Being a good athlete does not ensure you will
           be successful, but being smart does.


                  To sum it all up, P.E. should be an elective. It’ll still be there for the athletic people who
           want to take it, and for the non-athletic people, they can chose a subject that they excel at.
           Making P.E. an elective is a fair and logical solution.




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                   115
                                                                                                                                                 Handout 4
                                                                                                                                       Teacher Reference


Performance Standards
Essays and Opinions

Aspect                        Not Yet Within                          Meets Expectations               Fully Meets                   Exceeds Expectations
                              Expectations                            (Minimal Level)                  Expectations


SNAPSHOT                      The writing is often                    The writing presents           The writing is clear and        The writing is clear,
                              fragmented; it may be                   connected ideas that           complete; it accomplishes       focused, and fully
                              long and rambling or                    accomplish the basic           the purpose or task.            developed; it
                              too brief to accomplish                 purpose or task.                                               accomplishes the
                              the purpose.                                                                                           purpose and creates
                                                                                                                                     desired impact.
MEANING                       • purpose is unclear;                   • purpose clear; focus may     • purpose is clear;             • tightly focused; well-
• ideas and                     focus is not sustained                  waver                          consistent focus                defined purpose
  information                 • examples and details                  • some relevant details and    • logically developed with      • vivid, relevant details
• use of detail                 are irrelevant, too                     examples                       relevant details and            and examples; may
• use of sources                general, or simplistic                • some accurate                  examples                        show originality
                              • information is                          information; may be          • accurate and complete         • accurate and complete
                                incomplete; may be                      incomplete or poorly           information; well               information; skillfully
                                inaccurate                              integrated                     integrated                      integrated


STYLE                         • language is repetitive                • language is clear and        • varied language; has some     • precise language
• clarity,                      and often unclear                       varied                         impact; fits purpose            chosen for effect
  variety, and                • simple, repetitive                    • some variety in sentences    • varied, complex sentences     • sentences are varied to
  impact of                     sentences                                                                                              create a particular
  language                                                                                                                             effect


FORM                          • introduction is not                   • introduction states simple   • introduction clearly states   • introduction catches
• beginning,                    engaging; may omit                      thesis or purpose;             purpose or thesis; engages      attention; offers well-
  middle, end                   purpose or thesis                       attempts to engage reader      reader                          developed thesis
• organization                  statement                             • logical organization         • logically organized and       • effective sequence and
  and sequence                • difficult to follow;                    sequence may be                sequenced; varies               transitions make
• transitions                   transitions are weak or                 ineffective                    transitions                     reasoning clear
                                missing                               • explicit conclusion          • comes to closure; tries to    • strong conclusion has
                              • may end without a                                                      have an impact                  an impact
                                logical conclusion


CONVENTIONS                   • frequent, repeated                    • some errors, but meaning     • may have occasional           • may make occasional
• spelling                      errors in basic language                is clear                       errors                          errors when taking risks
• punctuation                 • resembles a rough draft;              • some evidence of editing     • carefully edited and          • effectively edited and
• sentence                      errors are not corrected                and proofreading               proofread                       proofread
  structure
• grammar (e.g.,
  modifiers,
  agreement,
  verb tense)



Adapted from the BC Performance Standards.


September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\o8 09\Unit 2 Lessons 1 to 3.doc
                                                                                                                                                       116
   Unit II – Teacher Reflections

   Successes:
           • What aspects of the lessons in this unit contributed to student learning?




   Challenges:
           • Which learning intentions are students still struggling with?




   Next Steps:
           • Was the learning equally effective for all students?
           • What might I do differently to continue supporting students’ learning?




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                                                                                         117
               Editorials



                  Lesson 1 - Discerning the Purpose of an Editorial


                  Lesson 2 - Teasing Out Criteria


                  Lesson 3 - Considering Point of View


                  Lesson 4 - Writing an Editorial


                  Lesson 5 - Editing and Revising Editorials




                                                                  118
September, 2008 \Literacy\08 09\Unit 3 Lessons 1 to 5.doc
                                                                                                        Unit 3
                                                                                                      Lesson 1




                    Discerning the Purpose of an Editorial


                                         Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                            Meaning
                                                            Style
                                                            Form
                                                            Conventions




   Lesson 1

   Learning Intentions:
               understand the various purposes of editorials
               identify issues of personal interest to be developed into an editorial


   Preparation:
               class set of newspapers (either collected by the teacher, or brought in by students)
               copy class set of Handouts 1 and 2
               copies of Boldprint: Headlines issue * (see “Note” below)


    * Note:              Your department head may have copies of Boldprint, Headlines issue. To order
                         more copies, contact Learning Resources Services (TBC Code: 10832).




                                                                                                          119
September, 2008 \Literacy\08 09\Unit 3 Lessons 1 to 5.doc
Lesson 1
Discerning the Purpose of an Editorial

                                                      Details                                          Materials

1. Access Background Knowledge: Think, Pair Share
      •      Ask students to think about topics and issues that are important to them. To
             help them get started, provide them with some prompts that may include the
             following:
             - What are issues that spark debate…
                      in the school? (e.g. No hat policy or other aspects of the dress code)
                      in your family? (e.g. curfews)
                      in the community? (e.g. drug use and how to deal with it)
                      in British Columbia? (e.g. Grade 10 provincial exams)
                      in Canada? (e.g. environmental protection and climate change)
      •      Explain that they do not need to write down their opinions at this time; rather,
             simply generate a list of topics that they will share with a partner.
      •      Have students pair up and share their lists, and then invite students to share
             their ideas with the whole class.
      •      Explain to students that they have just identified many of the topics that are
             written about every day in newspapers and magazines. Over the next several
             days, the class will read and analyze some opinion pieces from newspapers and
             magazines. These are called “Editorials.” Eventually, everyone will write their
             own editorial in response to a topic that is of particular interest and concern to
             them.


2. Introduce the Concept: Purpose of Editorials
      •      Distribute Handout 1 and have students work in partners.                             Handout 1
      •      Debrief student responses with the entire class.                                     Copies of Boldprint
      •      Ultimately, students need to understand three main points:                           Headlines issue
               i.     that editorials have a clear purpose;
              ii.     that the purpose changes according to the topic and audience;
             iii.     that editorials have the potential to be very powerful forms of writing,
                      for they are intended to get discussion and debate moving around
                      current social and political issues.




                                                                                                                        120
September, 2008 \Literacy\08 09\Unit 3 Lessons 1 to 5.doc
                                                            Details                                          Materials

   3. Teacher Models and Makes it Easy: Discerning and Evaluating
         the Author’s Purpose
         • Distribute Handout 2.                                                                     Handout 2
         • Refer to Overheads 1 and 2, and explain to students that you are going to                 Overheads 1 & 2 & Teacher Reference
              model what they will be doing shortly in partners or groups of three.                  Copiesof Boldprint

         • For an example editorial, turn to page 18 in Boldprint .                                  Headlines

         • Students refer to Handout 2 as you walk them through the task using the
              overheads. Be explicit in your thinking. Refer to the Teacher Reference
              Sheets for Overheads 1 and 2.
                Note: Students may need clarification around the meaning of “tone” and its
                connection to audience and purpose.


   4. Independent Practice: Evaluating Editorials
                                                                                                     Newspapers
         Note: Before students launch into this next section, you may want to provide
         students with some background knowledge about how newspapers are structured.
         •      Distribute newspapers (1 per student) and ask students to locate a well-
                written editorial.
         •      In partners, have students select one editorial and complete Handout 2 using
                that editorial.
         •      Students work through the assignment and are prepared to share their
                findings next class.


   5. Extending and Connecting
         •      Now that students know more about the purpose and power of editorial
                writing, ask them to return to their brainstorm list from earlier in the class and
                identify two or three topics they would like to turn into editorials. What would
                the purpose of their editorial be?




                                                                                                                               121
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                                                                                             Handout I

                                                            The Editorial Page…
                                                             Power and Purpose

   Refer to pages 16 and 17 from Boldprint, “Giving Voice to Our Opinions.” As you read, think
   about what you already know about editorial writing, and look for information that will help you
   respond to the following questions:


   How is the purpose of an editorial different from that of a news article?



   ______________________________________________________________________
   ______________________________________________________________________
   ______________________________________________________________________
   ______________________________________________________________________
   ______________________________________________________________________
   ______________________________________________________________________



   To what extent do you agree with the idea that editorials are the most powerful form of writing in a
   newspaper? Explain your thinking.



   ______________________________________________________________________
   ______________________________________________________________________
   ______________________________________________________________________
   ______________________________________________________________________
   ______________________________________________________________________
   ______________________________________________________________________




                                                                                                      122
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                                                                                                      Handout 2

                                                            Purposes of Editorials

   Read a number of editorials from different newspapers. As you read, you are asked to complete
   the following:
         PART I – On Your Own…
               Refer to the explanations of the purposes of editorials on page 16 in BoldPrint.
               Try to match the editorials you are reading with the various purposes identified.
               Explain why that particular purpose best describes the editorial.


                       Title of Editorial                                             Rationale…
                                                                   Its Purpose
                  (include name and date                                         Why does this editorial
                          of newspaper)                                               belong here?




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                                                                                                                         Handout 2
                                                                                                                            (Page 2)
         PART II – With a Partner…
                      Choose ONE editorial and together rate its effectiveness using the Performance
                      Standards below. Highlight the relevant information and make an overall judgment.




                     Not Yet Within                         Minimally Meeting          Fully Meeting           Exceeds
                                   *                                  **                     ***                 ****


                     Meaning
                    o purpose may be                        o purpose is clear,     o purpose is clear;   o tightly focused,
                         unclear; focus is                     but the focus may      focus is              with all material
                         not sustained;                        waver due to           maintained            contributing to a
                         very brief                            ineffective            throughout, with      well-defined
                                                               transitions            relationships         purpose
                                                                                      among ideas made
                                                                                      explicit


                    Style
                    o difficult to read;                    o generally easy to     o writing flows       o writing flows
                         no sense of                           read; some sense       smoothly; easy to     smoothly and
                         fluency or flow                       of flow from one       read                  naturally – sense
                                                               sentence to the                              of effortlessness
                                                               next




   Overall, we believe                                                                                                          (title)
                                                                                  expectations because
                                                                                                                                          .




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                                                                                                     Overhead 1

                                                            Purposes of Editorials

   Read a number of editorials from different newspapers. As you read, you are asked to complete
   the following:
         PART I – On Your Own…
               Refer to the explanations of the purposes of editorials on page 16 in BoldPrint.
               Try to match the editorials you are reading with the various purposes identified.
               Explain why that particular purpose best describes the editorial.


                       Title of Editorial                                             Rationale…
                                                                   Its Purpose
                  (include name and date                                         Why does this editorial
                          of newspaper)                                               belong here?




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                                                                                                                         Overhead 2



         PART II – With a Partner…
                      Choose ONE editorial and together rate its effectiveness using the Performance
                      Standards below. Highlight the relevant information and make an overall judgment.




                  Not Yet Within                      Minimally Meeting            Fully Meeting            Exceeds
                                *                                  **                     ***                 ****


                  Meaning
                o purpose may be                      o purpose is clear,       o purpose is clear;    o tightly focused,
                     unclear; focus is                      but the focus may      focus is              with all material
                     not sustained;                         waver due to           maintained            contributing to a
                     very brief                             ineffective            throughout, with      well-defined
                                                            transitions            relationships         purpose
                                                                                   among ideas made
                                                                                   explicit


                Style
                o difficult to read;                  o generally easy to       o writing flows        o writing flows
                     no sense of                            read; some sense       smoothly; easy to     smoothly and
                     fluency or flow                        of flow from one       read                  naturally – sense
                                                            sentence to the                              of effortlessness
                                                            next




   Overall, we believe                                                                                                        (title)
                                                                                expectations because
                                                                                                                                        .




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                                                                                                               Overhead 1
                                                                                                       Teacher Reference


                                                            Purposes of Editorials

   Read a number of editorials from different newspapers. As you read, you are asked to complete
   the following:
         PART I – On Your Own…
                      Refer to the explanations of the purposes of editorials on page 16 in Boldprint.
                      Try to match the editorials you are reading with the various purposes identified.
                      Explain why that particular purpose best describes the editorial.


                       Title of Editorial                                                      Rationale…
                                                                      Its Purpose
                  (include name and date                                                 Why does this editorial
                          of newspaper)                                                        belong here?


               “Parental Guidance”                            Informative – It gives   This editorial also has
               The Calgary Herald,                            readers facts to help    elements of Explanatory
               31 May 1995                                    them make more           and Interpretive, but it fits
               (from BoldPrint, pp. 18-                       sense of an issue.       best with Informative
               19)                                                                     because it explores
                                                                                       different sides (parents,
                                                                                       teachers, students,
                                                                                       administration) by giving
                                                                                       factual information (i.e.
                                                                                       who is in favour of the
                                                                                       change, who is not and
                                                                                       why; who holds the
                                                                                       decision-making power
                                                                                       (parents), etc.)




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                                                                                                                       Overhead 2
                                                                                                              Teacher Reference


         PART II – With a Partner…
                      Choose ONE editorial and together rate its effectiveness using the Performance
                      Standards below. Highlight the relevant information and make an overall judgment.




                      Not Yet Within                        Minimally Meeting         Fully Meeting           Exceeds
                                    *                                 **                    ***                 ****


                      Meaning
                     o purpose may be                       o purpose is clear,    o purpose is clear;   o tightly focused,
                         unclear; focus is                     but the focus may     focus is              with all material
                         not sustained;                        waver due to          maintained            contributing to a
                         very brief                            ineffective           throughout, with      well-defined
                                                               transitions           relationships         purpose
                                                                                     among ideas made
                                                                                     explicit


                     Style
                     o difficult to read;                   o generally easy to    o writing flows       o writing flows
                         no sense of                           read; some sense      smoothly; easy to     smoothly and
                         fluency or flow                       of flow from one      read                  naturally – sense
                                                               sentence to the                             of effortlessness
                                                               next




   Overall, we believe “Parental Guidance” EXCEEDS expectations because the writing clearly
   fits the criteria. It is clearly written, has a well-defined purpose, and creates an impact on the
   reader.




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                                                                                         Unit 3
                                                                                       Lesson 2




                              Teasing Out Criteria
                                        Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                            Meaning
                                                            Style
                                                            Form
                                                            Conventions




   Lesson 2

   Learning Intentions:
               critically analyze the structure and form of editorials
               understand and internalize the criteria of effective editorials



   Preparation:
               copy class set of Handout 1 (copy on coloured paper if possible as students
               will be referring to this throughout the unit)
               copy 8 sets of Handouts 2A-D (based on a class of 32 students)




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     Lesson 2
     Teasing Out Criteria
                                                            Details                                       Materials
     1. Access Background Knowledge:
           •     Ask students if they can recall any of the seven purposes of editorials.              Overhead 1
           •     After some brainstorming, refer to Overhead 1.
           •     Explain that a clear purpose is a critical part of writing an effective editorial,
                 but there is much more to it than that.

     2. Introduce the Concept: Teasing out Criteria for Effective
           Editorials
           •     Tell students that the main goal for today’s lesson is to tease out criteria for
                 a strong, effective editorial.
           •     To “tease out” something means to separate the parts by disentangling them
                 from the whole. This is what will happen today. Students will read a variety
                 of editorials, and gradually pull apart the pieces that create a strong piece of
                 writing.

     3. Teacher Makes it Easy: Clarifying what “Good” Means
            • The goal of this activity is to have students understand that in order to
                 write a good editorial, they have to know what “good” means.
            • Think of something about which you know a great deal. You are going to
                 explain to students how you know when this activity or product is done
                 well. The table below provides some examples:

                         Activity/Product                               Criteria for “Good”
                                                             - hair is easy to manage on your own
                                Haircut                      - compliments facial features
                                                             - other people seem to like it
                                                             - perfect pitch (doesn’t go flat or
                            Singing voice                      sharp)
                                                             - sings with feeling and emotion
                                                             - is confident and strong
                                                             - can provide critical feedback on how
                         Swimming Coach                        to improve strokes
                                                             - offers encouragement
                                                             - can show you what “better” looks like


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                                                            Details                                       Materials
       •     Give students an opportunity to think of their own examples and share in
             partners or with the whole class.
       •     Distribute Handout 1. Based on what they know so far, ask students to help          Handout 1
             generate a list of criteria for a strong, effective editorial. Record on Overhead   Overhead 2& Teacher Reference
             2. Refer to the Teacher Reference sheet for some ideas. Note: The list will
             not be completed at this point. Students will be asked to add to it following the
             next activity.


 4. Group Practice: Identifying Effective Editorials
       •     Students now have an opportunity to read recent editorials and thereby
             expand their understanding of what makes an effective editorial.
       •     Have students work in groups of four. This is their home group. Each student
                                                                                                 Handouts 2A-D
             receives a different Handout (2A, 2B, 2C or 2D). Using Overhead 3, go
             over the assignment.                                                                Overhead 3
       •     Students then find three other people who have the same editorial and are
             seated with them to read it and complete the tasks.
       •     When finished, students return to their home group to debrief. Lead the class
             in a group debrief, using Overhead 3 in conjunction with each of the four
             editorials (Overheads 2A, 2B, 2C and 2D).                                           Overheads 2A, 2B, 2C &2D

       •     Ask students to share new criteria for a strong, effective editorial and add them
             to their current list (Handout 1).
       •     Inform students that tomorrow they will be exploring “point of view” in editorial
             writing and that they need to bring a hat.




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                                                                                       Overhead 1


                                             Different Purposes of Editorials

   To Acknowledge:
               It praises an action, event, issue or person.


   To Critique:
               It opposes is critical of an opinion, action, person, issue or event and takes a
               stand.


   To Interpret:
               It seeks to understand an issue and explores the underlying reasons and
               motives of an action, person or event.


   To Humour:
               It seeks to entertain the reader in a lighthearted or humorous manner.


   To Explain and Inform:
               It gives readers facts and information to help them make more sense of an
               event or issue.


   To Call to Action:
               It urges the reader to take action on an issue or political action


                             * All purposes share the element of PERSUASION. *




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                                                                                 Handout 1



                                           Criteria for an Effective Editorial




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                                                                                 Overhead 2



                                           Criteria for an Effective Editorial




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                                                                                                     Handout 1
                                                                                             Teacher Reference




                                           Criteria for an Effective Editorial


   Note: These are intended to guide the discussion. They are not intended to be presented as a
   definitive list. Students will continue to add to the list as they discover more about editorial writing.


                      Writer has a strong opinion and wants to communicate it to his/her audience

                      Presents a balance between fact and opinion, with facts supporting the opinions.

                      Has a clear purpose and sticks to it.

                      Language is precise and clear, but not simple. Words are carefully chosen to create a
                      powerful impact.

                      May address other points of view and discredit them with an insightful explanation.

                      May ask the reader questions.

                      Written in first person (“I”) and has a strong voice (the personal spark behind the
                      writing).

                      A logical organization that includes a strong conclusion… leaves the reader with
                      something to think about.

                      Sentence variety is carefully crafted for effect.

                      Transitional words and phrases help to link ideas and create flow.

                      Paragraphs do not drag on and lose focus.

                      The headline is connected to the author’s opinion

                      Others…




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                                                                                Handout 2A




   The Vancouver Province
   July 19, 2005


   Beluga calf death cries out for thorough study
   It's too early to blame anyone for the untimely death of Tuvaq, the beluga calf that
   suddenly stopped breathing Sunday in front of a crowd of onlookers at the
   Vancouver Aquarium.


   Aquarium veterinarian Dave Huff said there were no signs that the young beluga,
   which had just had a routine blood test, was ill. Huff likened its death to a teen
   football player who suddenly keels over and dies.


   But long-time whale activist Peter Hamilton, of Lifeforce, insisted that imprisoning
   these large mammals causes them to die prematurely: "In captivity, dolphins suffer
   physically and psychologically since their behavioural and social needs cannot be
   met."


   Certainly, the aquarium needs to do a thorough review of Tuvaq's death.
   It must also carefully consider why it continues to keep these magnificent wild animals
   in captivity.




                                                                                          1



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                                                                                                                  Handout 2A
                                                                                                                        (Page 2)
   Purpose of the Editorial:

   Your reaction to it:




   It’s Effectiveness (based on the Performance Standards):

            Not Yet Within                        Minimally Meeting           Fully Meeting           Exceeds
                         *                                     **                   ***                  ****

        MEANING
                                                  o purpose is clear,       o purpose is clear;   o tightly focused,
        o purpose may be
                                                      but the focus may       focus is              with all material
             unclear; focus is
                                                      waver due to            maintained            contributing to a
             not sustained;
                                                      ineffective             throughout, with      well-defined
             very brief
                                                      transitions             relationships         purpose
                                                                              among ideas made
                                                                              explicit
        STYLE
                                                  o language is clear       o varies language     o language is
        o language is simple,
                                                      and varied, but         effectively,          precise and
             repetitive and
                                                      simple                  choosing words        sophisticated,
             often unclear
                                                                              for effect            carefully chosen
                                                                                                    for effect


        o sentence structure                      o sentence structure      o uses a variety of   o varies sentence
             tends to be simple                       shows variety, but      sentence forms,       structure to create
                                                      may be awkward in       more complex          an effect
                                                      places                  attempts may be
                                                                              awkward
        FORM
        o conclusion lacks                        o conclusion brings       o conclusion brings   o conclusion brings
             closure-brings in                        the work to an end,     a sense of            the writing to a
             new ideas, or                            but it has little       closure, attempts     satisfying end, has
             doesn’t exist at all                     impact                  to have an impact     a strong impact
                                                                                                                             2
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                                                                                             Handout 2B




   Northwest Illinois Herald
   Brian Slupski, April 2005


   If Games are So Bad, Why Are Today’s Kids So Good?

   It has become fairly routine in this country to decry the state of this nation’s youth… I thought
   about this again in the wake of recent congressional hearings… on video-game violence.


   In case you missed it, video games have surpassed rap music as the leading bogeyman out to suck
   the innocence out of America’s youth. The theory goes that kids will play violent video games and
   become violent…


   Surely, if violent video games are a dangerous influence…there should be some indications of that.
   Juvenile violent crimes, particularly homicide, should be getting worse…


   From 1994 to 2003, violent crimes by juveniles dropped 32 percent… Murder committed by
   juveniles declined by 68 percent… the number of juvenile arrests in 2003 was the lowest since 1987.
   Even more good news, the number of juveniles murdered in 2003 was at its lowest since 1984.
   Hmm.


   Maybe juveniles are too busy playing video games to go outside and kill each other… the current
   generation of youth deserves praise. Instead, we hear about how today’s youth are so easily
   manipulated that if they play a game, they somehow will be transformed into drooling sociopaths.


   We often tend to think that the times we live in are uniquely bad, while nostalgically thinking that
   yesteryear was uniquely good. Neither is true. As for today’s youth… I applaud them. They seem
   like pretty good kids.




                                                                                                          1

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                                                                                                                  Handout 2B
                                                                                                                        (Page 2)

   Purpose of the Editorial:

   Your reaction to it:




   It’s Effectiveness (based on the Performance Standards):

                Not Yet Within                       Minimally Meeting               Fully Meeting              Exceeds
                             *                                       **                      ***                  ****
            MEANING
            o     purpose may be                   o purpose is clear,            o purpose is clear;     o tightly focused,
                  unclear; focus is                         but the focus may       focus is maintained     with all material
                  not sustained;                            waver due to            throughout, with        contributing to a
                  very brief                                ineffective             relationships           well-defined
                                                            transitions             among ideas made        purpose
                                                                                    explicit
            STYLE
            o     language is simple, o language is clear                         o varies language       o language is precise
                  repetitive and                            and varied, but         effectively,            and sophisticated,
                  often unclear                             simple                  choosing words for      carefully chosen for
                                                                                    effect                  effect


            o     sentence                         o sentence structure           o uses a variety of     o varies sentence
                  structure tends to                        shows variety, but      sentence forms,         structure to create
                  be simple                                 may be awkward in       more complex            an effect
                                                            places                  attempts may be
                                                                                    awkward
            FORM
            o     conclusion lacks                 o conclusion brings            o conclusion brings a   o conclusion brings
                  closure-brings in                         the work to an end,     sense of closure,       the writing to a
                  new ideas, or                             but it has little       attempts to have        satisfying end, has
                  doesn’t exist at all                      impact                  an impact               a strong impact

                                                                                                                                     2

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                                                                                            Handout 2C
   Vancouver Sun Editorial
   Thursday, January 5, 2006


   Breast cancer survivor is the very definition of ‘hero’
   Most medical experts now agree that moderate exercise is good for breast cancer survivors, and
   might even help to prevent conditions historically common among those who have suffered from
   breast cancer. But such was not always the case. Until recently, doctors cautioned those with
   breast cancer to avoid vigorous, repetitive exercise, for fear that it could cause lymph edema, a
   permanent swelling of the arms. The change in medical opinion came thanks to new research, and
   while researchers are usually credited with scientific breakthroughs, no medical advances would
   ever be made without the willing participation of research subjects.


   In 1996, 24 women agreed to become the subjects of a study that examined the effects of exercise
   on breast cancer survivors—certainly not a trivial decision given the prevailing wisdom that said
   exercise could create further problems, which is the last thing those who have survived a potentially
   fatal disease want to hear.


   Nevertheless, the 24 women tempted fate for the sake of medical knowledge, and their selfless acts
   have contributed to better lives for other breast cancer survivors.
   One of those intrepid women was Esther Matsubuchi. The 69-year-old woman has now been
   honoured by Reader’s Digest magazine as one of its 2005 Canadian Heroes of the Year.


   Matsubuchi was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1989, and agreed to take part in the 1996 study
   since she had already lived longer than expected. She therefore began participating in the Alcan
   Dragon Boat Festival, as part of a group now known as Abreast In A Boat.


   While the first boat race was a tough slog, Matsubuchi persevered, just as she has throughout her
   life: The mother and grandmother was also a subject of a much less admirable experiment -– the
   internment of Japanese-Canadians during the Second World War.


   Despite her many trials, Matsubuchi has not only survived but flourished, and has helped to ensure
   that other people will have the opportunity to flourish. And in risking her own welfare to improve
   the welfare of others, she is the very definition of a hero.

                                                                                                        1

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                                                                                                                        Handout 2C
                                                                                                                                (Page 2)


   Purpose of the Editorial:

   Your reaction to it:




   It’s Effectiveness (based on the Performance Standards):


               Not Yet Within                        Minimally Meeting               Fully Meeting              Exceeds
                             *                                       **                      ***                  ****
            MEANING
            o purpose may be                       o purpose is clear,            o purpose is clear;     o tightly focused,
                unclear; focus is                           but the focus may       focus is maintained     with all material
                not sustained;                              waver due to            throughout, with        contributing to a
                very brief                                  ineffective             relationships           well-defined
                                                            transitions             among ideas made        purpose
                                                                                    explicit
            STYLE
            o language is simple,                  o language is clear            o varies language       o language is precise
                repetitive and                              and varied, but         effectively,            and sophisticated,
                often unclear                               simple                  choosing words for      carefully chosen for
                                                                                    effect                  effect

            o sentence structure                   o sentence structure           o uses a variety of     o varies sentence
                tends to be simple                          shows variety, but      sentence forms,         structure to create
                                                            may be awkward in       more complex            an effect
                                                            places                  attempts may be
                                                                                    awkward
            FORM
            o conclusion lacks                     o conclusion brings                                    o conclusion brings
                                                                                  o conclusion brings a
                closure-brings in                           the work to an end,                             the writing to a
                                                                                    sense of closure,
                new ideas, or                               but it has little                               satisfying end, has
                                                                                    attempts to have
                doesn’t exist at all                        impact                                          a strong impact
                                                                                    an impact



                                                                                                                                       2
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                                                                                              Handout 2D




   The News at Dalton Secondary
   September 20, 2006


   School is not the beach
   Spaghetti straps, bare midriffs and tank tops with oversized arm holes are clothing choices for
   many students. While these students will argue that banning these styles in school dress codes
   infringes upon their rights as individuals, I believe that students’ clothing choices should be
   appropriate for particular environments.


   School is definitely not the beach, so why should students be permitted to wear such flesh-
   revealing styles in class? A classroom is a place where learning is the focus; spaghetti straps and
   bare midriffs are potential distractions for some people in the classroom.


   If schools are allowed to place limits on the kinds of foods permitted in the school, then why can’t
   they enforce what people wear? Some clothes really are a potential health hazard! Also, because
   students are used to stricter dress codes in elementary school, it makes sense to carry on those
   traditions and expectations when they arrive in high school.


   Many students will suggest that limiting their clothing choices limits their personal style and
   freedom. Where is the individuality in a sea of cleavage, belly buttons and exposed male chests?
   Choosing to dress according to your unique style is an important part of expressing who you are,
   but so much of today’s youth fashion is not about expressing yourself…it’s about revealing
   yourself!


   For the reasons I have stated above, I feel that school dress codes that ban revealing styles are
   entirely appropriate and should be enforced.




                                                                                                          1

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                                                                                                                        Handout 2D
                                                                                                                                (Page 2)


   Purpose of the Editorial:

   Your reaction to it:




   It’s Effectiveness (based on the Performance Standards):


                Not Yet Within                       Minimally Meeting               Fully Meeting              Exceeds
                             *                                       **                      ***                  ****
            MEANING
            o     purpose may be                   o purpose is clear,            o purpose is clear;     o tightly focused,
                  unclear; focus is                         but the focus may       focus is maintained     with all material
                  not sustained;                            waver due to            throughout, with        contributing to a
                  very brief                                ineffective             relationships           well-defined
                                                            transitions             among ideas made        purpose
                                                                                    explicit
            STYLE
            o     language is simple, o language is clear                         o varies language       o language is precise
                  repetitive and                            and varied, but         effectively,            and sophisticated,
                  often unclear                             simple                  choosing words for      carefully chosen for
                                                                                    effect                  effect

            o     sentence                         o sentence structure           o uses a variety of     o varies sentence
                  structure tends to                        shows variety, but      sentence forms,         structure to create
                  be simple                                 may be awkward in       more complex            an effect
                                                            places                  attempts may be
                                                                                    awkward
            FORM
            o     conclusion lacks                 o conclusion brings            o conclusion brings a   o conclusion brings
                  closure-brings in                         the work to an end,     sense of closure,       the writing to a
                  new ideas, or                             but it has little       attempts to have        satisfying end, has
                  doesn’t exist at all                      impact                  an impact               a strong impact


                                                                                                                                      2

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                                                                                                                               Overhead 3


   Purpose of the Editorial:
         What is the purpose of the editorial? (To praise? To be controversial? To interpret and
         investigate? To explain? To entertain? To inform? To call for action? ) How is it persuasive?


   Your reaction to it:
         Be very honest. How much you know and care about the issue will determine your reaction.


   It’s Effectiveness (based on the Performance Standards):
         Two more aspects have been introduced (Style and Form). Highlight the relevant information
         and be prepared to share your thinking.

               Not Yet Within                        Minimally Meeting              Fully Meeting                  Exceeds
                             *                                   **                          ***                        ****
            MEANING
           o      purpose may be                   o purpose is clear, but       o purpose is clear;        o tightly focused, with
                  unclear; focus is not                 the focus may waver         focus is maintained        all material contrib-
                  sustained; very                       due to ineffective          throughout, with           uting to a well-
                  brief                                 transitions                 relationships among        defined purpose
                                                                                    ideas made explicit
           STYLE
           o      language is simple,              o language is clear and       o varies language          o language is precise
                  repetitive and often                  varied, but simple          effectively, choosing      and sophisticated,
                  unclear                                                           words for effect           carefully chosen for
                                                                                                               effect


           o      sentence structure               o sentence structure          o uses a variety of        o varies sentence
                  tends to be simple                    shows variety, but          sentence forms, more       structure to create an
                                                        may be awkward in           complex attempts           effect
                                                        places                      may be awkward
           FORM
           o      conclusion lacks                 o conclusion brings the       o conclusion brings a      o conclusion brings the
                  closure-brings in                     work to an end, but it      sense of closure,          writing to a satisfying
                  new ideas, or                         has little impact           attempts to have an        end, has a strong
                  doesn’t exist at all                                              impact                     impact




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                                                                               Overhead 2A




   The Vancouver Province
   July 19, 2005


   Beluga calf death cries out for thorough study
   It's too early to blame anyone for the untimely death of Tuvaq, the beluga calf that
   suddenly stopped breathing Sunday in front of a crowd of onlookers at the
   Vancouver Aquarium.

   Aquarium veterinarian Dave Huff said there were no signs that the young beluga,
   which had just had a routine blood test, was ill. Huff likened its death to a teen
   football player who suddenly keels over and dies.

   But long-time whale activist Peter Hamilton, of Lifeforce, insisted that imprisoning
   these large mammals causes them to die prematurely: "In captivity, dolphins suffer
   physically and psychologically since their behavioural and social needs cannot be
   met."

   Certainly, the aquarium needs to do a thorough review of Tuvaq's death.
   It must also carefully consider why it continues to keep these magnificent wild animals
   in captivity.




                                                                                        145
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                                                                                            Overhead 2B




   Northwest Illinois Herald
   Brian Slupski, April 2005


   If Games are So Bad, Why Are Today’s Kids So Good?

   It has become fairly routine in this country to decry the state of this nation’s youth… I thought
   about this again in the wake of recent congressional hearings… on video-game violence.


   In case you missed it, video games have surpassed rap music as the leading bogeyman out to suck
   the innocence out of America’s youth. The theory goes that kids will play violent video games and
   become violent…


   Surely, if violent video games are a dangerous influence…there should be some indications of that.
   Juvenile violent crimes, particularly homicide, should be getting worse…


   From 1994 to 2003, violent crimes by juveniles dropped 32 percent… Murder committed by
   juveniles declined by 68 percent… the number of juvenile arrests in 2003 was the lowest since 1987.
   Even more good news, the number of juveniles murdered in 2003 was at its lowest since 1984.
   Hmm.


   Maybe juveniles are too busy playing video games to go outside and kill each other… the current
   generation of youth deserves praise. Instead, we hear about how today’s youth are so easily
   manipulated that if they play a game, they somehow will be transformed into drooling sociopaths.


   We often tend to think that the times we live in are uniquely bad, while nostalgically thinking that
   yesteryear was uniquely good. Neither is true. As for today’s youth… I applaud them. They seem
   like pretty good kids.




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                                                                                           Overhead 2C
   Vancouver Sun Editorial
   Thursday, January 5, 2006

   Breast cancer survivor is the very definition of ‘hero’
   Most medical experts now agree that moderate exercise is good for breast cancer survivors, and
   might even help to prevent conditions historically common among those who have suffered from
   breast cancer. But such was not always the case. Until recently, doctors cautioned those with
   breast cancer to avoid vigorous, repetitive exercise, for fear that it could cause lymphedema, a
   permanent swelling of the arms. The change in medical opinion came thanks to new research, and
   while researchers are usually credited with scientific breakthroughs, no medical advances would
   ever be made without the willing participation of research subjects.


   In 1996, 24 women agreed to become the subjects of a study that examined the effects of exercise
   on breast cancer survivors—certainly not a trivial decision given the prevailing wisdom that said
   exercise could create further problems, which is the last thing those who have survived a potentially
   fatal disease want to hear.


   Nevertheless, the 24 women tempted fate for the sake of medical knowledge, and their selfless acts
   have contributed to better lives for other breast cancer survivors.
   One of those intrepid women was Esther Matsubuchi. The 69-year-old woman has now been
   honoured by Reader’s Digest magazine as one of its 2005 Canadian Heroes of the Year.


   Matsubuchi was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1989, and agreed to take part in the 1996 study
   since she had already lived longer than expected. She therefore began participating in the Alcan
   Dragon Boat Festival, as part of a group now known as Abreast In A Boat.


   While the first boat race was a tough slog, Matsubuchi persevered, just as she has throughout her
   life: The mother and grandmother was also a subject of a much less admirable experiment -– the
   internment of Japanese-Canadians during the Second World War.


   Despite her many trials, Matsubuchi has not only survived but flourished, and has helped to ensure
   that other people will have the opportunity to flourish. And in risking her own welfare to improve
   the welfare of others, she is the very definition of a hero.



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                                                                                             Overhead 2D




   The News at Dalton Secondary
   September 20, 2006


   School is not the beach
   Spaghetti straps, bare midriffs and tank tops with oversized arm holes are clothing choices for
   many students. While these students will argue that banning these styles in school dress codes
   infringes upon their rights as individuals, I believe that students’ clothing choices should be
   appropriate for particular environments.


   School is definitely not the beach, so why should students be permitted to wear such flesh-
   revealing styles in class? A classroom is a place where learning is the focus; spaghetti straps and
   bare midriffs are potential distractions for some people in the classroom.


   If schools are allowed to place limits on the kinds of foods permitted in the school, then why can’t
   they enforce what people wear? Some clothes really are a potential health hazard! Also, because
   students are used to stricter dress codes in elementary school, it make sense to carry on those
   traditions and expectations when they arrive in high school.


   Many students will suggest that limiting their clothing choices limits their personal style and
   freedom. Where is the individuality in a sea of cleavage, belly buttons and exposed male chests?
   Choosing to dress according to your unique style is an important part of expressing who you are,
   but so much of today’s youth fashion is not about expressing yourself…it’s about revealing
   yourself!


   For the reasons I have stated above, I feel that school dress codes that ban revealing styles are
   entirely appropriate and should be enforced.




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                                                                                                       Unit 3
                                                                                                     Lesson 3




                                           Considering Point of View

                                         Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                            Meaning
                                                            Style
                                                            Form
                                                            Conventions




   Lesson 3

   Learning Intentions:
               explore an issue from several points of view
               explore own topics of interest from different points of view


   Preparation:
               ask students to bring in a hat (of any sort – the more diverse the better); teacher brings
               several extra hats
               copy class set of Handouts 1 + 2




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Lesson 3
Considering Point of View
                                                     Details                                         Materials

1. Access Background Knowledge: Essential Criteria
     •     Have students move into groups of 3 or 4.
     •     Distribute Handout 1. Explain why they are being asked to do this (to activate       Handout 1
           what they have already learned which better prepares them to learn and absorb
           new ideas).
     •      Students complete activity, and class debriefs their collective knowledge


2. Introduce the Concept: Point of View
     •      Ask students, “Who can think of a movie they have seen and have loved it,
            but they know their parents would not like it?”
     •     After some sharing, explain to students that this conversation relates to point of
           view, or perspective. Ask them to now step outside themselves and think from
           their parents’ point of view. Can they think of any reasons why their parents may
           not like the movie? (Share and debrief)
     •     When writing an editorial, the author must take into account several points of
           view. This helps to do two things:
                  o makes it more engaging to a wider audience;
                  o makes it more persuasive if the author considers (and subsequently can
                       dismiss) others’ points of view.


3. Teacher Makes it Easy: Try on Another Hat!
     •     Ask students to put on their hats. If some students forgot a hat, then provide
           them with the extras you have.
     •     In a moment, you are going to give them a topic, and they are going to talk about
           it, giving their personal opinion, with a partner nearby. When you give a signal
           (e.g. lights out), they must freeze in conversation, and wait for further
           instructions.




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                                                        Details                                         Materials
   •     TOPIC #1 – No Cell Phones in Class
   •     After two minutes of conversation, give an established signal to freeze
         conversation. Inform students that in a moment they will find a new hat and
         completely change roles. They will no longer be themselves; rather, they will be in
         character as a teacher.
   •     Have students trade hats. At the established signal, they resume conversations
         from a teacher’s point of view.
   •     Freeze…time for a new topic. Several topics and possible roles are listed below.
         Continue to role play until you feel it is time to move on.
   •     Topics                                                               Roles
        - Minimum Wage Raise                                - Unemployed Student/Employer/Worker
        - Legalizing Marijuana                              - Politician/Cancer Patient/Parent
        - Four day school week                              - Parent/Student/Teacher
   •     Debrief the purpose of the activity with students. How does this connect to
         persuasive writing in editorials?
               o      makes it more engaging to a wider audience;
               o      makes it more persuasive if the author considers (and subsequently can
                      dismiss) others’ points of view;
               o      makes the writing more balance and credible if many points of view are
                      considered.

  4. Independent Practice: Exploring Point of View in Student Writing
          •     Have students retrieve their list of potential editorial topics from Lesson 1.
          •     Invite them to spend a few minutes to add any other ideas to the list, and to
                then choose one that they would like to explore as an editorial.
          •     Ask students to ensure their topic is written as a complete statement that
                invites many points of view. Refer to Overhead 1 for examples. Allow
                                                                                                    Overhead 1
                students time to work on their own statements.
          •     Distribute Handout 2. Now that students have clearly articulated their
                                                                                                    Handout 2
                position on an issue, ask them to put on a different hat. They are going to
                explore their topic through different points of view as this will help strengthen
                their position.
         •     Use Overhead 2 to guide them through the process, reminding them it is the
                                                                                                    Overhead 2
               same idea as the activity they just completed with their hats. Note: You may
               wish to model the process for some students if they appear to be struggling.
         •      To wrap up, ask students to ensure they have added new criteria to their list
                of Criteria for an Effective Editorial (Handout 1from last day), including:
                considers other points of view that may be discredited with an insightful
                explanation.



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                                                                                             Handout 1

                                  Accessing My Background Knowledge…
                                         What is essential in a good editorial?
    On your own paper, write your name plus one thing you remember about writing effective
    editorials. In 20 seconds, your teacher will ask you to pass your paper to the person on your right,
    and s/he will add another essential criteria. Please ensure that no criteria are repeated. Continue
    to do this until your teacher asks you to stop.

                                   Student Name                   Essential Criteria




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                                                                                                Overhead 1

                                                      Refining My Point of View

   There are many different perspectives for every topic. What is important is that you
   CLEARLY identify your point of view, and that you know where you stand on the
   issue. Write your opinion in a complete sentence.


                           Brainstorn Topics                               Refined Point of View
                                   Cell Phones                     Cell phones should be illegal while
                                                                   driving.


             Juvenile Crime and Punishment Juveniles should not be protected
                                                                   by the law and should face the
                                                                   same consequences for their crimes
                                                                   as adults.


                        Effects of the Media                       Popular magazines are damaging to
                                                                   young people’s images of
                                                                   themselves.


                                 Vegetarianism                     There is no need for people to eat
                                                                   meat.


                                  TV Violence                      Television should not be censored;
                                                                   people should be free to choose
                                                                   what they want to watch in their
                                                                   own homes.



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                                                                                           Handout 2
                               Exploring Points of View

                                                                      #2 _________________
                                        #1 _________________           a different perspective
 In each hat, write what                  my perspective
another person or group      Reasons:                              Reasons:
 might think about your
statement. Try to include
at least three reasons for
each perspective. Include
your own point of view in
         hat #1.




                                   #3__________________              #4 ___________________
  Topic statement:                  a different perspective             a different perspective
                                                               Reasons:
                                  Reasons:




                                                                                                  154
                                                                                        Overhead 2
                               Exploring Points of View

                                                                      #2 _________________
                                        #1 _________________           a different perspective
 In each hat, write what                  my perspective
another person or group      Reasons:                              Reasons:
 might think about your
statement. Try to include
at least three reasons for
each perspective. Include
your own point of view in
         hat #1.




                                   #3__________________              #4 ___________________
  Topic statement:                  a different perspective             a different perspective
                                                               Reasons:
                                  Reasons:




                                                                                                  155
                                                                                                    Unit 3
                                                                                                  Lesson 4




                                                                 Writing an Editorial

                                                 Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                        Meaning
                                                                        Style
                                                                        Form
                                                                        Conventions



   Lesson 4

   Learning Intentions:
                  express opinions in peer conversation
                  actively listen and support a conversation with a partner
                  write an editorial that achieves the following:
                  •       uses the Performance Standards’ criteria to guide the writing process
                          (assessment as learning)
                  •       identifies purpose
                  •       supports opinion with reasons and details
                  •       integrates criteria from “Criteria for an Effective Editorial”



   Preparation:
                  copy class set Handouts 1,2, and 3




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                                                                                                      156
Lesson 4
Writing an Editorial

                                                                      Details                          Materials

1. Access Background Knowledge: Digging into My Topic
     •      Last day, students chose one topic as a potential prompt for their editorial.
            Ask them to take out their lists as they will need to refer to them to complete
            the next activity.
     •      Distribute Handout 1. When students have had some time to generate                   Handout 1
            questions, have them share their thinking with a partner.
     •      Use Overhead 1 to record students’ thinking during a debrief with the                Overhead 1
            whole class.


2. Introduce the Concept: Articulating and Defending Your Point of
     View
     •       Explain to students that talking with people helps to solidify ideas.
             Conversation pushes us to clarify our own thoughts, and the ideas and
             feedback from others helps to shape our own thinking. In preparation for
             writing the editorial, students are going to have a conversation about their
             topic.
     •       Distribute Handout 2.                                                               Handout 2
     •       Have students take out Handout 2 (Exploring Points of View) from the                Handout 2 from Lesson 2
             previous lesson, for reference.                                                     (Exploring Points of View)
     •       On their own, students complete Handout 2. When finished, they work
             with a partner to:
                    a) explain their thinking
                    b) learn from another perspective (partner’s)
                    c)      practice active listening
                           (Refer to Overhead 2 and review some basic guidelines for effective   Overhead 2
                           active listening.)
     •       Lead a short debrief asking the students questions such as:
                    o      What was it like to try and explain your thinking to your partner?
                    o      Did you find listening to your partner challenging? In what ways?




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                                                                                                                         157
                                                                      Details                                Materials

3. Teacher Models and Makes it Easy: Mr. Skeleton
       •       Explain to students that they have had many opportunities to explore, refine,
               define and talk about their chosen topic. They have also explored and
               assessed many different models of editorials. Now it is time to shape their
               thinking into their own editorial.
       •       Ask students what the purpose of the body’s skeletal structure is.
               (Responses may include to provide structure, to hold the body together, to
               provide strength…)
       •       Ask students to imagine what our bodies would look like if we didn’t have a
               skeletal structure. (Piles of jelly will probably be a common response).
       •       Explain to students that if writing doesn’t have a strong skeletal structure, then it
               too will end up as a pile of jelly on the floor!
       •      Using Overhead 3, share with students your outline for an editorial.                     Overhead 3& Teacher Reference
              Refer to Teacher Reference sheet for a sample structure.


4. Independent Practice
       •      Distribute Handout 3. Students work on completing their outline.                         Handout 3
       •      The goal is to have them move from outline to draft of their editorial. As
              they begin to write, ensure students refer to the many resources created
              thus far to guide them in the process:
              ◦       Lesson 2: Criteria for an Effective Editorial (Handout 1)
              ◦       Lesson 2: Page 2 from Handout 2A,B,C or D
                      (part of the Performance Standards – they will be peer
                      evaluating based on the Performance Standards next class)
              ◦       Lesson 3: Exploring Points of View
       •       Note: Consider generating additional criteria with students that may
               not have been addressed.




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                                                                                                                              158
                                                                                                 Handout 1


                                                                      Digging Deeper

   Editorials are opinion pieces, like mini persuasive essays, that have the potential to spark heated
   debates, make people think differently about something serious (or something whimsical), or call
   people to action.


   You have narrowed your list of potential topics to one or two that are of significance to you. Now
   it’s time to reach a little deeper into your topic – poke it, shake it up.


   In the space below, write the topic about which you feel most passionate. Then take a few moments
   to jot down some questions you have. Anticipate questions others might have. You might also
   include a few words on why you chose this topic. The more pre-writing, thinking and talking you do,
   the deeper you will move in your writing, and the more meaningful your editorial will be - both to you
   as the author, and to your audience.




                                                                          Editorial Topic
                                                                      (expresses your opinion)




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                                                                                                      159
                                                                                                Overhead 1


                                                                      Digging Deeper




   Poke it!                                       Question it!                Dig Deeper!   Shake it up!




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                                                                                                      160
                                                                                                                 Handout 2

                                                                      Taking a Stand

   There will be many reasons why you feel the way you do about your chosen topic. In the space
   below, take a few moments to organize your thoughts. When you are ready, join with your partner
   for a conversation.

                                                                       Statement of Opinion:




                                 Reasons and Details                                           Reasons and Details




                                 Reasons and Details                                           Reasons and Details




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                                                                                                                      161
                                                                                                      Overhead 2

                  Listen Up!
                                                Some Keys to Effective Active Listening

                            Body Language…
                                         What’s important? (Eye contact…Posture… )


                          Be Quiet!
                                         When tempted to interrupt, hang onto that thought until a time when
                                         it is appropriate to speak.


                            Questions…
                                         Ask questions that show you’re listening and would like more
                                         information, or to clarify something. For example:
                                         ◦ What do you mean by that?
                                         ◦ Can you help me better understand                                 ?
                                         ◦ Tell me more


                          Clarifying Statements…
                                         You don’t always need to ask a question. Sometimes the speaker
                                         just wants to carry on, and a simple statement lets her/him know
                                         you’re still listening. For example:
                                         ◦ That’s interesting.
                                         ◦ You seem to feel really strongly about this.

                          Respectful Opposition…
                                         It may be appropriate to offer a different point of view for your
                                         partner to consider.

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                                                                                                             162
                                                                                                   Overhead 3


                                                                      Think of an Outline as ...
                                                                       A Skeletal Structure

   If you don’t have one, you’re doomed!


   Statement of Opinion:




   Purpose of my editorial:


   Introduction – How might I draw in the reader?




   Reasons and details that support my opinion (min. of two):


   #1:



   #2:



   #3:



   #4:



   Note: Do I need to do further research to help support my opinion?




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                                                                                                         163
   Other points of view? How will I refute them?




   Conclusion: Something to leave the reader to think about...




   Any other points I need to remember:




                                                                      p. 2
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                                                                       164
                                                                                                         Overhead 3
                                                                                                   Teacher Reference

                                                                      Think of an Outline as ...
                                                                       A Skeletal Structure



   If you don’t have one, you’re doomed!


   Statement of Opinion:
                  Year round schooling should be offered in Surrey.


   Purpose of my editorial:
                  Informative.


   Introduction – How might I draw in the reader?
                  Ask a question, such as: Would you like to have a month off in
                  December, and then again in April?

   Reasons and details that support my opinion (min. of two):
   #1:            Research shows that year round schooling (in school for three months and off for one) is
                  good for learning – students retain information better.


   #2:            Research shows that student and staff illness goes down (less stress and burnout).


   #3:            I need to keep my eye out for another reason... this will strengthen my position!


   #4:            I may add another one later...


   Note: Do I need to do further research to help support my opinion?




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                                                                                                                165
   Other points of view? How will I refute them?


           1. What about students who want to work in the summer?
                  Employers won’t hire someone for August only.
                  My response: Be creative! Perhaps senior students could have flexible schedules so that
                  they take fewer courses in the spring/summer term, and then they could work part time from
                  May – August... they may end up earning more money!


   Conclusion: Something to leave the reader to think about...
                  Isn’t the number one priority of schools to help kids learn? Why wouldn’t we do something
                  that we know makes a BIG difference?


   Any other points I need to remember:
                  I need to look back on my “Criteria for an Effective Editorial” sheet as I begin to draft my
                  editorial.




                                                                                                       p. 2
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                                                                                                         166
                                                                                                   Handout 3


                                                                      Think of an Outline as ...
                                                                       A Skeletal Structure

   If you don’t have one, you’re doomed!


   Statement of Opinion:




   Purpose of my editorial:


   Introduction – How might I draw in the reader?




   Reasons and details that support my opinion (min. of two):


   #1:



   #2:



   #3:



   #4:



   Note: Do I need to do further research to help support my opinion?




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                                                                                                        167
   Other points of view? How will I refute them?




   Conclusion: Something to leave the reader to think about...




   Any other points I need to remember:




                                                                      p. 2
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                                                                       168
                                                                                                       Unit 3
                                                                                                     Lesson 5




                                  Editing and Revising Editorials

                                                 Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                      Meaning
                                                                      Style
                                                                      Form
                                                                      Conventions




   Lesson 5

   Learning Intentions:
                  assess editorial writing to determine the appropriateness of purpose, and the extent to
                  which criteria have been met in the editorial
                  use the Performance Standards to assess the use of language so that it is appropriate to
                  purpose and audience
                  adjust form, style, and use of language to suit purpose
                  monitor self and the work of others for correctness of conventions


   Preparation:
                  copy class sets of Handouts 1, 2 and 3
                  acquire a copy of one student’s draft Editorial (This will be considered “Overhead 1”)




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                                                                                                            169
Lesson 5
Editing and Revising Editorials
                                                                      Details                              Materials

 1. Access Background Knowledge: Descriptive Criteria of the
        Performance Standards
        •       Distribute Handout 1 (Performance Standards for Essays and Opinion) to
                each student.
        •       Using their own editorial, have students highlight the Performance Standards         Handout 1
                as they have done in previous lessons. Remind them to be as reflective as            Highlighters
                possible. The purpose of today’s lesson is to be critical and open to improving
                their writing, both through their own feedback, and through the feedback of a
                peer editor.


 2. Introduce the Concept: Peer Editing and Revising
        •       Explain to students that revising one’s own writing can be very challenging. We
                are often so closely tied to it that we cannot imagine communicating our ideas in
                a different way.
        •       When someone else’s eyes and minds look at our writing, they will bring a
                different perspective and “re-vision” what the print is trying to communicate.
        •       Explain that the process of editing goes far beyond checking for spelling and
                grammar. An editor needs to provide as much feedback as possible on all of the
                aspects of writing: Meaning, Style, Form and Conventions. Using the
                Performance Standards and “Criteria for an Effective Editorial” will help
                them with their task today.
        •       Tell students that in a moment, they will become the editor of a peer’s editorial.
                However, you will first model the process.


 3. Teacher Models Peer Editing and the Revision Process
        •       Using a student exemplar from your class, model the peer editing process using
                Overheads 1, 2 and 3. For example, highlight relevant criteria on Overhead 2         Overhead 1 (Student exemplar)
                (Performance Standards). For more specific criteria, refer to Overhead 2             Overhead 2
                (Criteria for an Effective Editorial) from Lesson 2. Share your thinking as          Overhead 3
                you fill out the “Traffic Light” on Overhead 3.                                      Overhead 2 (from Lesson 2)
        •       Remember to make your thinking explicit so that the students understand why
                you are making the decisions you are.

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                                                                                                                             170
                                                                      Details                        Materials
     4. Independent Practice
             •      Students exchange papers with a partner and complete Handouts 2 and 3      Handout 2
                    independently.                                                             Handout 3
             •      When all feedback is complete, students are encouraged to conference       Highlighters
                    together before working on final drafts.


     5. Extending and Connecting: Letters to the Editor
             •      You may wish to have students exchange their editorials and write formal
                    “Letters to the Editor” in response to the student editorials.




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                                                                                                              171
                                                                                                                                                  Handout 1

Performance Standards
Essays and Opinions


 Aspect                       Not Yet Within                             Meets Expectations                Fully Meets                   Exceeds Expectations
                              Expectations                               (Minimal Level)                   Expectations


 SNAPSHOT                     The writing is often                       The writing presents            The writing is clear and        The writing is clear,
                              fragmented; it may be                      connected ideas that            complete; it accomplishes       focused, and fully
                              long and rambling or too                   accomplish the basic            the purpose or task.            developed; it
                              brief to accomplish the                    purpose or task.                                                accomplishes the
                              purpose.                                                                                                   purpose and creates
                                                                                                                                         desired impact.
 MEANING                      • purpose is unclear; focus                • purpose clear; focus may      • purpose is clear;             • tightly focused; well-
 • ideas and                    is not sustained                           waver                           consistent focus                defined purpose
   information                • examples and details are                 • some relevant details and     • logically developed with      • vivid, relevant details
 • use of detail                irrelevant, too general, or                examples                        relevant details and            and examples; may show
 • use of sources               simplistic                               • some accurate information;      examples                        originality
                              • information is incomplete;                 may be incomplete or          • accurate and complete         • accurate and complete
                                may be inaccurate                          poorly integrated               information; well               information; skillfully
                                                                                                           integrated                      integrated


 STYLE                        • language is repetitive and               • language is clear and         • varied language; has some     • precise language chosen
 • clarity,                     often unclear                              varied                          impact; fits purpose            for effect
   variety, and               • simple, repetitive                       • some variety in sentences     • varied, complex sentences     • sentences are varied to
   impact of                    sentences                                                                                                  create a particular effect
   language


 FORM                         • introduction is not                      • introduction states simple    • introduction clearly states   • introduction catches
 • beginning,                   engaging; may omit                         thesis or purpose; attempts     purpose or thesis; engages      attention; offers well-
   middle, end                  purpose or thesis                          to engage reader                reader                          developed thesis
 • organization                 statement                                • logical organization          • logically organized and       • effective sequence and
   and sequence               • difficult to follow;                       sequence may be                 sequenced; varies               transitions make
 • transitions                  transitions are weak or                    ineffective                     transitions                     reasoning clear
                                missing                                  • explicit conclusion           • comes to closure; tries to    • strong conclusion has an
                              • may end without a logical                                                  have an impact                  impact
                                conclusion
 CONVENTIONS                  • frequent, repeated errors in             • some errors, but meaning      • may have occasional           • may make occasional
 • spelling                     basic language                             is clear                        errors                          errors when taking risks
 • punctuation                • resembles a rough draft;                 • some evidence of editing      • carefully edited and          • effectively edited and
 • sentence                     errors are not corrected                   and proofreading                proofread                       proofread
   structure
 • grammar (e.g.,
   modifiers,
   agreement,
   verb tense)



Adapted from the BC Performance Standards.

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                                                                                                                                                          172
                                                                      Overhead 1
                                                                          (blank)


   This will be a student exemplar from your own class.




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                                                                           173
                                                                                                                                               Overhead 2

Performance Standards
Essays and Opinions


 Aspect                       Not Yet Within                             Meets Expectations                Fully Meets                   Exceeds Expectations
                              Expectations                               (Minimal Level)                   Expectations


 SNAPSHOT                     The writing is often                       The writing presents            The writing is clear and        The writing is clear,
                              fragmented; it may be                      connected ideas that            complete; it accomplishes       focused, and fully
                              long and rambling or too                   accomplish the basic            the purpose or task.            developed; it
                              brief to accomplish the                    purpose or task.                                                accomplishes the
                              purpose.                                                                                                   purpose and creates
                                                                                                                                         desired impact.
 MEANING                      • purpose is unclear; focus                • purpose clear; focus may      • purpose is clear;             • tightly focused; well-
 • ideas and                    is not sustained                           waver                           consistent focus                defined purpose
   information                • examples and details are                 • some relevant details and     • logically developed with      • vivid, relevant details
 • use of detail                irrelevant, too general, or                examples                        relevant details and            and examples; may show
 • use of sources               simplistic                               • some accurate information;      examples                        originality
                              • information is incomplete;                 may be incomplete or          • accurate and complete         • accurate and complete
                                may be inaccurate                          poorly integrated               information; well               information; skillfully
                                                                                                           integrated                      integrated


 STYLE                        • language is repetitive and               • language is clear and         • varied language; has some     • precise language chosen
 • clarity,                     often unclear                              varied                          impact; fits purpose            for effect
   variety, and               • simple, repetitive                       • some variety in sentences     • varied, complex sentences     • sentences are varied to
   impact of                    sentences                                                                                                  create a particular effect
   language


 FORM                         • introduction is not                      • introduction states simple    • introduction clearly states   • introduction catches
 • beginning,                   engaging; may omit                         thesis or purpose; attempts     purpose or thesis; engages      attention; offers well-
   middle, end                  purpose or thesis                          to engage reader                reader                          developed thesis
 • organization                 statement                                • logical organization          • logically organized and       • effective sequence and
   and sequence               • difficult to follow;                       sequence may be                 sequenced; varies               transitions make
 • transitions                  transitions are weak or                    ineffective                     transitions                     reasoning clear
                                missing                                  • explicit conclusion           • comes to closure; tries to    • strong conclusion has an
                              • may end without a logical                                                  have an impact                  impact
                                conclusion
 CONVENTIONS                  • frequent, repeated errors in             • some errors, but meaning      • may have occasional           • may make occasional
 • spelling                     basic language                             is clear                        errors                          errors when taking risks
 • punctuation                • resembles a rough draft;                 • some evidence of editing      • carefully edited and          • effectively edited and
 • sentence                     errors are not corrected                   and proofreading                proofread                       proofread
   structure
 • grammar (e.g.,
   modifiers,
   agreement,
   verb tense)



Adapted from the BC Performance Standards.

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                                                                                                                      Overhead 3

                                                                         A Fresh Perspective:
                                                                      Editing with A Critical Eye



   Author: __________________________
   Editor: ___________________________

   Find Handout 1 “Criteria for an Effective Editorial” from a previous lesson. Use this criteria and
   language from the Performance Standards to offer feedback to the author.




                                                                                       RED = Criteria that is not present and would
                                                                                       add strength to the writing




                                                                                         YELLOW = Criteria that is present, but could
                                                                                         be further developed




                                                                                         GREEN = Criteria that is well developed and
                                                                                         creates the desired effect




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                                                                                                                                                Handout 2

Performance Standards
Essays and Opinions


 Aspect                       Not Yet Within                             Meets Expectations                Fully Meets                   Exceeds Expectations
                              Expectations                               (Minimal Level)                   Expectations


 SNAPSHOT                     The writing is often                       The writing presents            The writing is clear and        The writing is clear,
                              fragmented; it may be                      connected ideas that            complete; it accomplishes       focused, and fully
                              long and rambling or too                   accomplish the basic            the purpose or task.            developed; it
                              brief to accomplish the                    purpose or task.                                                accomplishes the
                              purpose.                                                                                                   purpose and creates
                                                                                                                                         desired impact.
 MEANING                      • purpose is unclear; focus                • purpose clear; focus may      • purpose is clear;             • tightly focused; well-
 • ideas and                    is not sustained                           waver                           consistent focus                defined purpose
   information                • examples and details are                 • some relevant details and     • logically developed with      • vivid, relevant details
 • use of detail                irrelevant, too general, or                examples                        relevant details and            and examples; may show
 • use of sources               simplistic                               • some accurate information;      examples                        originality
                              • information is incomplete;                 may be incomplete or          • accurate and complete         • accurate and complete
                                may be inaccurate                          poorly integrated               information; well               information; skillfully
                                                                                                           integrated                      integrated


 STYLE                        • language is repetitive and               • language is clear and         • varied language; has some     • precise language chosen
 • clarity,                     often unclear                              varied                          impact; fits purpose            for effect
   variety, and               • simple, repetitive                       • some variety in sentences     • varied, complex sentences     • sentences are varied to
   impact of                    sentences                                                                                                  create a particular effect
   language


 FORM                         • introduction is not                      • introduction states simple    • introduction clearly states   • introduction catches
 • beginning,                   engaging; may omit                         thesis or purpose; attempts     purpose or thesis; engages      attention; offers well-
   middle, end                  purpose or thesis                          to engage reader                reader                          developed thesis
 • organization                 statement                                • logical organization          • logically organized and       • effective sequence and
   and sequence               • difficult to follow;                       sequence may be                 sequenced; varies               transitions make
 • transitions                  transitions are weak or                    ineffective                     transitions                     reasoning clear
                                missing                                  • explicit conclusion           • comes to closure; tries to    • strong conclusion has an
                              • may end without a logical                                                  have an impact                  impact
                                conclusion
 CONVENTIONS                  • frequent, repeated errors in             • some errors, but meaning      • may have occasional           • may make occasional
 • spelling                     basic language                             is clear                        errors                          errors when taking risks
 • punctuation                • resembles a rough draft;                 • some evidence of editing      • carefully edited and          • effectively edited and
 • sentence                     errors are not corrected                   and proofreading                proofread                       proofread
   structure
 • grammar (e.g.,
   modifiers,
   agreement,
   verb tense)



      Adapted from the BC Performance Standards.

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                                                                                                                       Handout 3

                                                                         A Fresh Perspective:
                                                                      Editing with A Critical Eye



   Author: __________________________
   Editor: ___________________________

   Find Handout 1 “Criteria for an Effective Editorial” from a previous lesson. Use this criteria and
   language from the Performance Standards to offer feedback to the author.




                                                                                       RED = Criteria that is not present and would
                                                                                       add strength to the writing




                                                                                         YELLOW = Criteria that is present, but could
                                                                                         be further developed




                                                                                         GREEN = Criteria that is well developed and
                                                                                         creates the desired effect




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                                                                                                                               177
   Unit III – Teacher Reflections

   Successes:
           • What aspects of the lessons in this unit contributed to student learning?




   Challenges:
           • Which learning intentions are students still struggling with?




   Next Steps:
           • Was the learning equally effective for all students?
           • What might I do differently to continue supporting students’ learning?




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                                                                                         178
               Persuasive Paragraphs


                              Lesson 1 - Crafting Arguments


                              Lesson 2 - Structuring Paragraphs


                              Lesson 3 - Developing Persuasive Paragraphs


                              Lesson 4 - Assessing Persuasive Paragraphs




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                                                                                                    Unit 4
                                                                                                  Lesson 1




                                          Crafting Arguments
                                                 Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                        Meaning
                                                                        Style
                                                                        Form
                                                                        Conventions




   Lesson 1

   Learning Intentions:
                          analyze various forms of arguments (oral conversation, magazine adds,
                          caricatures)
                          identify elements of various arguments
                          generate criteria for effective arguments
                          assess arguments/claims based on class-generated criteria
                          make connections between evidence used in oral and print forms



   Preparation:
                          copy class sets of Handouts 1 and 2




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   Lesson 1
   Crafting Arguments
                                                                        Details                                          Materials
   1. Build Background Knowledge
           •       To help students see that crafting arguments is something they regularly do
                   in conversation, engage students in a whole-class discussion about an
                   arguable subject (Do you think 14 year olds should be playing “M” rated
                   video games? Should new drivers be able to have more than one friend in the
                   car? Is it fair and reasonable for parents to set a nine o’clock curfew for their
                   14 year olds?)
                          o       The teacher’s role is to pose questions that prompt students to
                                  produce evidence that supports their claim. For example:
                                  T Who do you think is going to win the Stanley Cup this year?
                                  S The Canucks
                                  T What makes you think that?
                                  S They’ve got a great team now.
                                  T What makes you think that?
                                  S They’ve got a star goalie, Luongo.
                                  T So what?
                                  S What do you mean, so what?
                                  T I mean you need more than one super star?
                                  S Well, there’s more to it than just that! The Sedin twins are on
                                    fire. They were great last year, and they’re even better this year.
                                  T How do you know?
                                  S They’re leading the league in points for a forward pair, and their
                                    puck control along the boards is unbelievable.
           •       When the “arguing” is over, look back with the class and identify the structure                   Overhead 1
                   of the argument. To make the structure visible, use Overhead 1.

   2. Introduce the Concept: Effective Arguments
           •       With the class, generate discussion around the question of what makes an
                   effective argument. With the class, generate a list of criteria. A few possible
                   responses might include:
                          o       You have to know what you’re talking about.
                          o       The claim/opinion is clearly articulated.
                                                                                             (continued next page)



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                                                                                                                                  181
                                                                        Details                                  Materials
   (from previous page)

                          o       The claim is controversial; everyone doesn’t agree with it.
                          o       The claim is arguable.
                          o       The argument is defensible.
                          o       The evidence relates to the claim.
                          o       Providing grounds/reasons for the argument isn’t enough.
                          o       You have to have a come-back if someone challenges you.
                          o       You need a lot of details; you have to be able to answer, “So what?”
           •       Students copy the criteria in their notebooks as the list is being generated.

   3. Teacher Models : Assessing an Argument
           •       Building on students’ knowledge of oral arguments, turn to a different source of
                   everyday arguments: ads in magazines. Place a copy of Overhead 2 or 2A on             Overhead 2
                   the projector. Discuss.                                                               Overhead 2A
           •       Using Overhead 3, lead the class in an activity aimed at assessing the ad based       Overhead 3 & Teacher Reference
                   on the criteria the class generated. In the end, the goal is to evaluate the ad. Do
                   the advertisers prove their claim? Is the claim supported with sufficient evidence
                   (reasons and details)? Refer to Teacher Reference sheet.

   4. Independent Practice – Identifying & Assessing Arguments
           • Introduce students to James Gillray, a 17th century caricaturist whose satires
                 were directed at the Royal Family.
           • Distribute Handouts 1 and 2. Using Overhead 4, explain the task.                            Handouts 1 & 2

           • In pairs or small groups, students interpret Gillray’s caricature of “a voluptuary”         Overhead 4

                 (the Prince of Wales).                                                                  Teacher Reference

           • Groups report to the class.




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                                                                                             Overhead 1




                                                                        Opinion




                        Reason #1                                         Reason #2    Reason #3




                       Details                                             Details      Details
                      (evidence)                                          (evidence)   (evidence)




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                                                                                                    183
                                                                        Overhead 2




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                                                                              184
                                                                        Overhead 2A




       Reprinted with permission from WWF-Canada
       http://wwf.ca/HowYouCanHelp/StopTheNet/print3.asp

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                                                                               185
                                                                                       Overhead 3




                                                                        Opinion




                                                                           Reason




                                                                           Details
                                                                          (evidence)




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                                                                                             186
                                                                                                              Overhead 3
                                                                                                        Teacher Reference
                                                                                                   for Overhead 2 and 2A




                                                                        Opinion
                                              Net fishing should be stopped.




                                                                               Reason
                                             Marine life not consumed by humans gets tangled in nets.




                                                                                Details
                                                                               (evidence)

                                                                        Sea Birds


                                                                        Sea Turtles




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                                                                        Handout 1




        http://www.spamula.net/blog/il9/gillray11.html



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                                                                             188
                                                                                             Handout 2




                                                                        Opinion




                     Reason #1                                            Reason #2    Reason #3




                    Details                                                Details      Details
                   (evidence)                                             (evidence)   (evidence)




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                                                                                                           Handout 2
                                                                                                 Teacher Reference




                                                                        Opinion
                                 The voluptuary is an overindulgent sloth.




                     Reason #1                                                Reason #2            Reason #3

                     He’s lazy                                           He drinks too much.     He gambles.




                     Details                                                  Details               Details
                    (evidence)                                               (evidence)            (evidence)

             slumped in chair                                             scattered; empty      dice on floor
                                                                          decanters (on
             dishevelled                                                  table, under table,   debt book on floor
             clothing: popping                                            as a candle holder)
             buttons
                                                                          symbolic portrait
             chamber pot                                                  of a man drinking
             nearby



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                                                                                    Overhead 4




   A Voluptuary Under the Horrors of Digestion


                      a. Identify James Gillray’s claim. According to Gillray,
                                  what kind of person is the voluptuary?


                      b. Complete Handout 2, identifying Gillray’s opinion,
                                  reasons and details.


                      c.          Using the criteria the class established for effective
                                  arguments, evaluate Gillray’s claim. Does he support
                                  his claim with sufficient evidence (reasons and details)?




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                                                                                                  Unit 4
                                                                                                Lesson 2




                               Structuring Paragraphs
                                                 Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                        Meaning
                                                                        Style
                                                                        Form
                                                                        Conventions




   Lesson 2

   Learning Intentions:
                   distinguish between reasons and details
                   organize a persuasive paragraph




   Preparation:
                   copy class sets of Handouts 1and 2
                   copy half a class set of Handout 3
                   gather scissors for each pair of students




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                                                                                                    192
   Lesson 2
   Structuring Paragraphs
                                                                        Details                              Materials
   1. Build Background Knowledge
           •       Continue building on students’ knowledge of argumentation by including
                   another source of arguments: persuasive paragraphs.
           •       Overview the purpose of persuasive writing (to persuade, argue, convince)             Overhead 1
                   and the various types of evidence writers use to build their cases (facts,
                   statistics, examples, explanations, expert opinions, anecdotes).

   2. Introduce the Structure of Persuasive Paragraphs
           •       Explain to students that effective writing, like oral conversations and magazine
                   ads, is carefully crafted. Writers can’t merely state their opinions and expect
                   their writing to be convincing. To build a convincing case, they must organize
                   their thoughts and structure these thoughts into a coherent form.
           •       Use Overhead 2 as a visual example of one method of how writers can
                   organize their thoughts. Explain to students that in addition to having their         Overhead 2
                   opinions clearly stated, writers must also provide “reasons” for their opinions,
                   which they then develop through use of “details”. Differentiate between
                   “opinions,” “reasons” and “details”.
                          -       An opinion is a big umbrella statement that identifies the writer’s
                                  feelings or thoughts about something (issue, situation, event, etc.)
                          -       A reason is a general statement that supports the opinion.
                          - A detail is an example/fact/statistic used as evidence to prove and
                                  support the reason for the writer’s opinion.

   3. Teacher Modelling and Guided Practice
           •       Distribute Handouts 1 and 2. Explain the assignment.                                  Handouts 1 & 2 &
           •       As a class, read each sentence in Handout 1 and decide whether it is the              Teacher Reference
                   writer’s opinion (topic sentence), concluding sentence, reason or detail.
                   Students write each sentence in the appropriate space on Handout 2. (Refer
                   to Overhead 3.)                                                                       Overhead 3




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                                                                        Details                Materials
   4. Group Practice – Organizing a Persuasive Paragraph
           •       Distribute Handout 3. Working in pairs, students follow directions and   Handout 3
                   unscramble the sentences into a coherent, logical paragraph.
           •       Students compare their arrangements with the paragraph on Overhead 4.    Overhead 4
                   Discuss similarities and differences.




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                                                                                                           194
                                                                                                   Overhead 1




                                                  PERSUASIVE PARAGRAPHS




                                                                           Persuade
                                                                             Argue
                                                                           Convince




                                                               Support opinions and build a case
                                                               with valid evidence, logical
                                                               arguments, and responsible
                                                               appeals to emotion through:
                                                                         facts
                                                                         statistics
                                                                         examples
                                                                         explanations
                                                                         expert opinions
                                                                         anecdotes




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                                                                                                         195
                                                                                             Overhead 2



                                                                        Opinion




                   Reason #1                                              Reason #2    Reason #3




                   Details                                                Details      Details
                 (evidence)                                               (evidence)   (evidence)




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                                                                                                        Handout 1



                                                                        Sort it All Out!
   Directions:
   The statements below fall into one of the following categories:
                                                            1. Opinion
                                                            2. Reason
                                                            3. Detail
                                                            4. Concluding sentence


   Sort each of the statements accordingly and rewrite them on the
   Umbrella organizer provided.

                   Astrid likes to keep things active by pulling the cat’s tail, washing her hands in
                   the toilet and falling off the furniture.

                   For conditions like these, the regular hourly rate is not enough.

                   If she gets the portable phone, be prepared to let her have it until she tires of
                   it, or your ears will pay the price.

                   Finally, you have to clean up after her.

                   Anyone who baby-sits Astrid should receive an extra bonus.

                   For another thing, you never get a chance to rest even for a minute.

                   There is always spilled juice on the floor and toys strewn everywhere.

                   For one thing, you have to put up with Astrid’s stubborn streak.




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                                                                                                             197
                                                                                                              Handout 2




                                                                        Opinion (Topic Sentence)




                             Because                                               Because          Because



                         Reason #1                                                Reason #2        Reason #3




                             Details                                               Details          Details




   Concluding Sentence:

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                                                                                                                                                          Handout 1 and 2
                                                                                                                                                       Teacher Reference




                                                                        Topic Sentence (Opinion)
                                                         Anyone who baby-sits Astrid should receive more than
                                                                                  the average babysitter.




                                                                                              Because
                             Because
                                                                                                                                                Because

                                                                                            Reason #2
                         Reason #1
                                                                                   For another thing, you                                     Reason #3
         For one thing, you have to                                              never get a chance to rest even                      Finally, you have to clean up
           put up with Astrid’s                                                            for a minute.                                        after her.
             stubborn streak.
                                                                                              Details                                           Details
                             Details
                                                                          Astrid likes to keep things active by pulling the
    If she gets the portable phone                                                                                            There is always spilled juice on the floor and
                                                                           cat’s tail, washing her hands in the toilet and
   be prepared to let her have it until                                                                                                 toys strewn everywhere.
                                                                                        falling off the furniture.
    she tires of it, or your ears will
            pay the price.


              Concluding Sentence: For conditions like these, the regular hourly rate is not enough.
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                                                                                                                                                                       199
                                                                                       Overhead3




                                                      Persuasive Paragraph


                                                          Extra Effort, Extra Reward


               Anyone who baby-sits Astrid should receive an extra bonus. For
               one thing, you have to put up with Astrid’s stubborn streak. If she
               gets the portable phone, be prepared to let her have it until she tires
               of it, or your ears will pay the price. For another thing, you never
               get a chance to rest even for a minute. Astrid likes to keep things
               active by pulling the cat’s tail, washing her hands in the toilet,
               and falling off the furniture. Finally, you have to clean up after
               her. There is always spilled juice on the floor and toys strewn
               everywhere. For conditions like these, the regular hourly rate is not
               enough!




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                                                                                            200
                                                                                                        Handout 3

                                                                   Scrambled Paragraph
               • Cut along the lines.
               • Organize the sentences into a logical persuasive paragraph.
               • Compose a title.


               They help diminish stress levels and clear your head so you can concentrate in
               math or finish your report on time.



                 In addition to the great benefits to health, P.E. is a great stepping stone in life.



                 By engaging in team events, you learn how to play and cooperate as a team.



                 Everybody knows that a physical life is in fact a healthy life.



                 P.E. should be mandatory for all students from grades 8 to 12 for physical,
                 personal, and social reasons.
                 .


                 Scientific studies prove that exercise and fresh air actually help you excel in
                 your other subjects.



                 Exercise can actually turn you off eating junk food and even give you more
                 energy.



                 It seems that P.E. does more that just break a sweat.



                 Cardio-vascular endurance is elevated.


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                                                                                                 Overhead 4
                                                                                           Teacher Reference
                                                                                               for Handout 3




                              Unscrambled Persuasive Paragraph

                                                                        Fit for Life

                                          P.E. should be mandatory for all students from
                           grades 8 to 12 for physical, personal and social reasons.
                           Everybody knows that a physical life is in fact a healthy
                           life. Cardio-vascular endurance is elevated. Exercise can
                           actually turn you off eating junk food and even give you
                           more energy. Scientific studies prove that exercise and
                           fresh air actually help you excel in your other subjects.
                           They help diminish stress levels and clear your head, so
                           you can concentrate in math or finish your report on
                           time. In addition to the great benefits to health, P.E. is a
                           great stepping-stone in life. By engaging in team events,
                           you learn how to play and co-operate as a team. It seems
                           that P.E. does more than just break a sweat.




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                                                                                                 Unit 4
                                                                                               Lesson 3




                                     Developing
                                Persuasive Paragraphs
                                     Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                        Meaning
                                                                        Style
                                                                        Form
                                                                        Conventions




Lesson 3

Learning Intentions:
                       generate persuasive topics
                       narrow a topic by formulating a specific question around the topic
                       develop a topic through use of reasons and details
                       write a persuasive paragraph


Preparation:
                       copy Handout s 1 and 4 (enough copies to ensure 1 ticket per student)
                       cut tickets in Handouts 1 and 4
                       copy class sets of Handouts 2 and 3




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                                                                                                   203
Lesson 3
Developing Persuasive Paragraphs
                                                                        Details                              Materials
1. Access Background Knowledge
        •      As students are coming into class, give them a copy of Ticket In from Handout 1     Handout 1 (cut in 3)
               and tell them to take a few minutes to record three things they remember from the
               previous lesson.
        •      Bring the class together to share their recollections. If necessary, use this
               time to clarify and re-teach material concerning paragraph structure.

2. Introduce the Process of Developing a Paragraph
        •      Explain that now the whole class is going to go through the process of
               developing a persuasive paragraph together. Using Overhead 1, articulate the        Overhead 1
               process before you begin. Provide students with a copy of Handout 2 (same as        Handout 2
               Overhead 1).
        •      Using Overhead 2, lead the class in brainstorming a list of topics related to TV.   Overhead 2
               The objective is to move from a one-word prompt (TV) to a persuasive topic (ex.,
               limiting the amount of TV viewed).

3. Teacher Models – Think Aloud
        •      Choose one of the topics and form a question around it. For example:
               Topic = Limiting the amount of TV viewed
               Question = Should parents limit the amount of time their children view TV?
        •      Form an opinion about the question and proceed to develop it. Using
               Overhead 3, think aloud so students can hear your thoughts. (See Teacher            Overhead 3 & Teacher Reference
               Reference, but do not place this on the Overhead as it is important that students
               hear your thinking as you go through the process.)


4. Independent Writing Practice
        •       From the list of brainstormed topics on TV, students select one that interests
               them and develop it using Handout 3.
        •      Assign homework: Using your outline (Handout 3) as a guide, write a persuasive      Handout 3
               paragraph.
        •      Give each student a copy of Ticket Out. With Handout 2 in mind, students            Handout 4 (cut in 3)
               complete Ticket Out and hand it in before leaving the class.




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                                                                                                                          204
                                                                                                                    Handout 1




                                                    Three things I remember about persuasive paragraph structure:


           Ticket                                   1.

                                                    2.
             In                                     3.




                                                    Three things I remember about persuasive paragraph structure:


           Ticket                                   1.

                                                    2.
             In                                     3.




                                                    Three things I remember about persuasive paragraph structure:


           Ticket                                   1.

                                                    2.
             In                                     3.




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                                                                                                                          205
                                                                                                                  Overhead 1

                          Think about the question
                         and form an opinion based
                                on logic and reason.




                                          State your Opinion



                                                                                                  If possible, give a
           Give one reason                                              Give a second reason
                                                                                                 third reason for your
           for your opinion.                                              for your opinion.
                                                                                                       opinion.



             Elaborate and                                                 Elaborate and           Elaborate and
            provide details/                                              provide details/         provide details/
            evidence (facts,                                               evidence (facts,        evidence (facts,
        statistics, examples,                                            statistics, examples,   statistics, examples,
            etc.) to support                                               etc.) to support        etc.) to support
           your first reason.                                               your second           your third reason.




                         Write a concluding sentence that restates your opinion (in different words).



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                                                                                                                  Handout 2

                                         Think about the question
                                         and form an opinion based
                                                on logic and reason.




                                            State your opinion


                                                                                                  If possible, give a
     Give one reason                                                    Give a second reason
                                                                                                 third reason for your
     for your opinion.                                                    for your opinion.
                                                                                                       opinion.



       Elaborate and                                                       Elaborate and           Elaborate and
      provide details/                                                    provide details/         provide details/
      evidence (facts,                                                     evidence (facts,        evidence (facts,
  statistics, examples,                                                  statistics, examples,   statistics, examples,
      etc.) to support                                                  etc.) to support your      etc.) to support
     your first reason.                                                    second reason.         your third reason.




                           Write a concluding sentence that restates your opinion (in different words).



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                                                                        Overhead 2




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                                                                                            Overhead 3




                                                    Topic Sentence



                   Reason #1                                            Reason #2    Reason #3




                 Details                                                 Details      Details
                (evidence)                                              (evidence)   (evidence)




    Concluding Sentence:




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                                                                                                                 Overhead 3
                                                                                                          Teacher Reference




                                                        Topic Sentence
                                    T.V. should be limited to one hour
                                                                        per day.



                       Reason #1                                              Reason #2                   Reason #3
            To improve fitness                                           To improve grades         To improve relationships




                      Details                                                  Details                    Details
             play more sports                                             more time for              spend time with
             like basketball,                                             homework                   friends playing
             skateboarding                                                get to bed earlier         sports or walking or
             go biking, hiking or                                         and get more sleep,        talking
             walking                                                      so more alert in class    spend more time with
                                                                          spend time reading         family, playing
                                                                          books                      games, cards, or
                                                                                                     talking




              Concluding Sentence: Therefore, to improve fitness, to improve grades and to improve
              relationships, turn off the T.V.

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                                                                                           Handout 3




                                                   Topic Sentence



                  Reason #1                                             Reason #2    Reason #3




                Details                                                  Details      Details
               (evidence)                                               (evidence)   (evidence)




   Concluding Sentence:




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                                                                                                                      Handout 4



                                                      Three specific things I need to do when I’m writing my paragraph:
                                                      1.

             Ticket                                   2.
                                                      3.

              Out                                     One question I have:




                                                     Three specific things I need to do when I’m writing my paragraph:

                                                     1.

            Ticket                                   2.
                                                     3.

             Out                                     One question I have:




                                                     Three specific things I need to do when I’m writing my paragraph:

                                                     1.
             Ticket                                  2.
                                                     3.
              Out                                    One question I have:




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                                                                                                  Unit 4
                                                                                                Lesson 4




                                  Assessing Persuasive
                                      Paragraphs
                                     Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                        Meaning
                                                                        Style
                                                                        Form
                                                                        Conventions




Lesson 4

Learning Intentions:
                       generate specific criteria for persuasive paragraphs
                       self assess persuasive paragraphs using specific criteria
                       assess peers’ persuasive paragraphs using specific criteria
                       write persuasive paragraphs


Preparation:
                       copy class sets of Handouts 1 and 5
                       copy one sheet of Handout 2 (cut into 12 segments )
                       copy Handout 3 (one per group)
                       copy Handout 4 (approximately 4 per group or 8 scorecards cut in half)
                       gather approximately 7 blank overhead transparencies and overhead pens




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Lesson 4
Assessing Persuasive Paragraphs
                                                                        Details                                Materials
        1. Access Background Knowledge: Performance Standards
               •       Inform students that they are going to play two games in this lesson: 1) with
                       the paragraph they wrote for homework; and 2) with a group paragraph they
                       will be writing in class later on. Before the games begin, however, tell them
                       that it’s necessary to spend some time connecting the Performance
                       Standards from previous units into the work they are doing now with
                       persuasive paragraphs.
               •       Distribute Handout 1. Discuss the general criteria in Handout 1;                    Handout 1
                       clarify if necessary and make connections with the criteria the class
                       generated for effective arguments in Lesson 1.
               •       Pairs of students fill in the specific criteria in Handout 1, but before
                       students begin, demonstrate how to generate specific criteria. For
                       example, “Purpose is clear” may be specifically translated to
                                      o       The topic of the paragraph is controversial;
                                      o       The reader can easily identify the author’s opinion.

        2. Introduce the Concept : Self Assessment & Peer Assessment
               •       When students have completed Handout 1, discuss the importance of
                       specific criteria. For example, you may say something like:
                               “Awareness of writing criteria is an essential part of being an effective
                               writer because it reminds writers of what’s important. Knowing what we
                               are good at and what we need to do to improve, leads to more effective
                               writing. When students know the specific criteria for the type of writing
                               they are doing, they can constantly be assessing the quality of their
                               work. Rather than wait for the teacher to tell them how to improve,
                               students can assess their work and make changes before the teacher
                               gets it.”
               •       Introduce “Criteria Ping Pong.” Using overhead 1, explain the purpose and           Overhead 1
                       steps.
               •       Explain to students that the type of feedback exchanged in Criteria Ping
                       Pong is the type of feedback they should be giving themselves all the time.




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3. Teacher Models – Assessment and Evaluation
        •      Place Overhead 2 on the projector and tell students that you, the teacher, are          Overhead 2
               now going to assess this paragraph (give specific, descriptive feedback) and
               evaluate it (make a judgment) using the OSCAR criteria from previous lessons.
        •      Using Overhead 3, review OSCAR criteria.                                                Overhead 3
        •      With Overhead 2 on the projector again, orally read the paragraph and then
               begin “thinking aloud.” Teachers are encouraged to use their professional
               opinions when assessing and evaluating this paragraph just as they naturally
               would any paragraph. Ideas worth considering when doing the think-aloud
               include:
               O - Opinion is clearly stated. (4/4)
               S – Reasons are identified in the second sentence, but these reasons are not
                       developed and supported with details. (1/4)
               C – The paragraph flows, but since it lacks details and proof, there is minimal
                       opportunity to provide transitional structures. (2/4)
               A – The topic is controversial; the language and sentence structures are varied;
                       the conclusion leaves the reader with some “food for thought,” thus making it
                       interesting and appealing. (3/4)
               R - Although the paragraph is well written, due to lack of development, it is not a
                       strong, persuasive paragraph. (10/16)

4. Independent Practice : Group Writing and Peer Evaluation
        •      Place students in groups of 3. Give each group one picture from Handout 2 to            Handout 2 (cut in 12)
               use as a paragraph prompt.
        •      Using Handout 3, each group develops one arguable topic on their picture (ex.           Handout 3
               Hunting is an inhumane sport; All junk food should be banned from school
               cafeterias).
        •      Each group writes one paragraph and transfers it on to an overhead                      Blank Transparencies
               transparency.                                                                           Overhead pens
        •      Distribute Handout 4                                                                    Handout 4 (cut in 2)
        •      Each group presents its paragraph in turn, reading it aloud. The class scores
               each paragraph on the OSCAR scorecard.
        •      After all groups have presented, teacher tallies up the scores and identifies the
               highest scoring group.
        •      Place “winning” paragraph on the overhead, and lead the class in a discussion of
               the various criteria that meets and/or exceeds expectations.
        •      Distribute Handout 5 and assign homework. Students develop an arguable                  Handout 5
               topic, write a paragraph, and self assess their paragraph. Provide students with
               topic ideas (ex. Curfews, School Uniforms, Gender Segregated Classes,
               Four Day School Week, Young Offenders Act, Driving Age, Euthanasia,
               Abortion, Death Penalty).

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                                                                                            Handout 1

Criteria for Persuasive Paragraphs
                General Criteria                                        Specific Criteria

       MEANING

             purpose is clear
             logically developed with
             relevant reasons and
             details
             accurate and complete
             information



       STYLE

             varied language
             varied, complex
             sentences




       FORM
              introduction clearly states
              the topic sentence
              logically organized and
              sequenced; varies
              transitions
              comes to closure



       CONVENTIONS
        CONVENTIONS
         carefully edited and
          proofread
        • carefully edited and
            proofread




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                                                                                                                Overhead 1

Criteria Ping Pong

Purpose:
               To think about your persuasive paragraph and to identify what you are doing well and what
               you need to do to improve.

               To think about your partner’s persuasive paragraph and to dentify what he/she is doing well
               and what he/she needs to do to improve.



Steps:
        1.         With your partner, reread your list of “specific criteria” for persuasive paragraphs.

        2.         Place your two paragraphs (one of top of the other) between the two of you.

        3.         Read the paragraph on top.

        4.         In back and forth fashion, like a ping pong ball, say something about the paragraph. Keep
                   going until the teacher tells you to stop (approximately 2-3 minutes).
                    For example:
                   Partner A I notice you have a title for your paragraph.
                   Partner B My topic sentence is the second sentence in my paragraph.
                   Partner A Your first sentence, “Cablevision kills brain cells!”, really grabs your reader’s
                                              attention.
                   Partner B                   I didn’t use commas to separate my ideas in the last sentence.
                   Etc.

        5.         Students switch paragraphs and repeat the same process.




Adapted with permission from Voices of Experience: Practical Ideas to Spark Up the Year (2004). By Caren
Cameron, Kathleen Gregory, Colleen Politano & Joy Paquin. Portage and Main Press.




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                                                                                           Overhead 2




                                                                        Sample Paragraph



                                    Children and Television: A Destructive
                                                Combination


                          Parents who do not limit the amount of television their

           children view are asking for trouble. Hours spent in front of a

           screen lead to decreased fitness, poor grades in school, and

           socially crippled children. Why would any parent want to do

           this to his or her child? Parents who want to help their children

           should limit TV viewing to one hour per day. Do it for your

           kids. They’re worth it!




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                                                                                             Overhead 3


Persuasive Paragraph




       O pinion is clearly stated.                                      O   1   2   3   4


       S upported with logical reasons and details
                                                                        S   1   2   3   4

        C onnects ideas with transitions.
                                                                        C   1   2   3   4

       A ppeals to the audience.
                                                                        A   1   2   3   4

        R esults in a good persuasive paragraph.
                                                                        R                   ___



                                                                                                    219
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                                                                        Handout 2


   Group Paragraph Prompts




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                                                                                                          Handout 3

                                                                        Opinion (Topic Sentence)        Picture Prompt




                             Because                                              Because           Because



                        Reason #1                                                Reason #2         Reason #3




                            Details                                               Details           Details




    Concluding Sentence:
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                                                                                                                         221
                                                                                                     Handout 4




        Persuasive Paragraph                                            Group Members:




       O pinion is clearly stated.
       O

       S upported with logical reasons and details.
       S
                                                                                   O
                                                                                   O     1   2   3     4


       C onnects ideas with transitions.
       C                                                                           S
                                                                                   S     1   2   3     4


                                                                                   C
                                                                                   C     1   2   3     4

       A ppeals to the audience.
       A                                                                           A
                                                                                   A     1   2   3     4


                                                                                   R
                                                                                   R                 _____
       R esults in a good persuasive paragraph.
       R


        Persuasive Paragraph                                            Group Members:




      O pinion is clearly stated.
      O

      S upported with logical reasons and details.
      S
                                                                                   O
                                                                                   O     1   2   3     4


      C onnects ideas with transitions.
      C                                                                            S
                                                                                   S     1   2   3     4


                                                                                   C
                                                                                   C     1   2   3     4

      A ppeals to the audience.
      A                                                                            A
                                                                                   A     1   2   3     4


                                                                                   R
                                                                                   R                 _____
       R esults in a good persuasive paragraph.
       R


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                                                                                                          Handout 5

 Persuasive Paragraph: Self Assessment

    MEANING                                                              STYLE

    One thing I notice about the “meaning” in                            One thing I notice about the “style” in my
    my paragraph is:                                                     paragraph is:

    ___________________________________
    ______________________________________
    ______________________________________
    For example:
    ___________________________________                                  For example:
                                                                         ___________________________________
    ___________________________________
                                                                         ___________________________________
    ___________________________________
                                                                         ___________________________________
   ___________________________________




   FORM                                                                  CONVENTIONS

   One thing I notice about the “form” in                                One thing I notice about the “conventions”
   my paragraph is:                                                      in my paragraph is:
   ___________________________________
   ______________________________________
   ______________________________________
   For example:
   ___________________________________                                   For example:
   ___________________________________                                   ___________________________________

   ___________________________________                                   ___________________________________

  ___________________________________                                    ___________________________________



When revising my paragraph, I need to



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                                                                                                                  223
Unit IV – Teacher Reflections

Successes:
        • What aspects of the lessons in this unit contributed to student learning?




Challenges:
        • Which learning intentions are students still struggling with?




Next Steps:
        • Was the learning equally effective for all students?
        • What might I do differently to continue supporting students’ learning?




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                                                                                      224
      Persuasive Essays


                         Lesson 1 - Exploring the Issue

                         Lesson 2 - Testing the Thesis Statement

                         Lesson 3 - Understanding Both Sides

                         Lesson 4 - Building a Case

                         Lesson 5 - Writing Engaging Introductions

                         Lesson 6 - Writing Strong Conclusions

                         Lesson 7 - The Finishing Touches




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                                                                     225
                                                                                                 Unit 5
                                                                                               Lesson 1




                                        Exploring the Issue
                                           Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                  Meaning
                                                                  Style
                                                                  Form
                                                                  Conventions



                                                                 Lesson 1

   Learning Intentions:
                         investigate one focused inquiry question that guides the research and
                         writing of a persuasive essay: How do our choices determine our well-
                         being?
                         express and explore personal responses to various topics related to the
                         inquiry.
                         formulate critical opinions about a variety of topics related to health and
                         well-being.



   Preparation:
                         copy class sets of Handouts 1, 3 and 4
                         copy Handout 2/A-J (3 copies of each)




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                                                                                                   226
   Lesson 1
   Exploring the Issue
                                                                 Details                                  Materials
   1. Build Background Knowledge: The Assignment
           •      Begin this unit by informing students that the culminating project will be a
                  persuasive essay that focuses on one question: How do our choices
                  determine our well-being? It’s a question that can be answered in multiple ways
                  and has no single answer. Each student’s task will be to explore the question,
                  to identify one topic/personal area of interest related to the question, and to
                  develop the topic into a multi-paragraph composition.
           •      Distribute Handout 1. Overview the task, important information and                   Handout 1
                  assessment criteria.


   2. Introduce the Concept: Generating Ideas
           •      Read and Explore Different Possibilities
                  To help students understand how one begins to tackle a “big question,”
                  provide the class with readings that engage them with issues related to choice
                  and/or well-being. See Teacher Reference 1 for an overview of titles.                Teacher Reference 1
                         o       Put students into groups of 3. Distribute Handout 2 (A-J) – a         Handout 2 (A-J)
                                 different reading for each group.
                         o       Within each group, members read and discuss their article.
                         o       With the class, groups share the gist of the various articles read.
                         o       Teacher jots over-arching topics/themes on the board (See
                                 Teacher Reference 2).                                                 Teacher Reference 2
                         o       Discuss how the various topics are connected to choice and well-
                                 being. For example, from Handout 2-A, we can conclude that
                                 people who choose to take dietary supplements are putting their
                                 health at risk, while from Handout 2-I, we can conclude that
                                 developing a hobby or interest can be good for us because it can
                                 help us through difficult times.




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                                                                                                                     227
                                                                 Details                                        Materials
            • Brainstorm Options
                         o       Now that students have a sense of the different subjects that can be
                                 addressed in the big question, distribute Handout 3 and ask them to         Handout 3
                                 brainstorm a list of potential topics that intrigue them.
                         o       Place students in groups of three and ask them to describe their ideas to
                                 one another. As they listen to their peers, students record new
                                 possibilities.
                         o Reconvene as a large group and ask, “Who already knows what they’re
                                 going to write about in their composition?” Call on volunteers to share
                                 ideas.

   3. Teacher Models – Narrowing the Focus
           •      After choosing a topic, students will need to narrow their focus, but before
                  directing them to do this, think out loud and model how you get from the “big
                  question,” to a topic that interests you, to finally forming an opinion about the
                  topic. (See Teacher Reference 3 for a “Sample Think Aloud”. Modelling                      Teacher Reference 3
                  allows students to “see” and “hear” your thought process.)
           •      While thinking out loud, jot notes on Overhead 1 (Refer to Teacher Reference               Overhead 1
                  4 for possible reasons.                                                                    Teacher Reference 4


   4. Independent Writing Practice – Formulating Opinions
           •      Distribute Handout 4. Students select a topic and formulate an opinion that will           Handout 4
                  eventually serve as the thesis of their persuasive essay.




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                                                                                                                           228
                                                                                                           Handout 1

                                                    Persuasive Essay Assignment

       What is a persuasive essay?

              A persuasive essay is a multi-paragraph composition that uses logic and reason to show
              that one idea is better than another idea.
              It attempts to persuade the reader to adopt a certain point of view or to take a particular
              course of action.
              The argument is always supported by solid evidence (facts, reasons, examples, quotes from
              experts).



       What do I have to do?

                      Write a 500 – 800 word persuasive essay that addresses the following question:

                                                  How do our choices determine our well-being?



   Important Information
                  This is a very broad and general question. In other words, you cannot write a composition
                  that simply attempts to answer the question as it stands. If you do, the essay will not be
                  focused.
                  Embedded within this question are many different topics that you could write about. You
                  need to narrow this “big question” down to a specific topic that is connected to health, well-
                  being, and the choices people make.
                  Before deciding on your essay topic, it’s essential that you understand what the question
                  is asking, as well as understand that there is no single, right answer to this question. There
                  are many possible responses.
                  To help you zero-in on a topic that interests you, we will explore the question in class.

                                                                                     See Back for Assessment Criteria




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                                                                                                                    Handout 1 (Back)
   Assessment Criteria

   As with many of our assignments, when writing and revising your essay, keep in mind the criteria for
   essays and opinions in the BC Performance Standards. Consider the following questions when
   critically assessing your work.


   Aspect of Writing                                             Guiding Questions

   MEANING                                                         Is the purpose of my essay clear?
                                                                   Is the essay logically developed with relevant details and
                                                                   examples?
                                                                   Is the information accurate and complete?
                                                                   Are the ideas well integrated?


   STYLE                                                           Have I varied the language in the essay?
                                                                   Does the language have impact?
                                                                   Does the language suit the purpose of my essay?
                                                                   Have I written varied, complex sentences?


   FORM                                                            Does the introduction clearly state my thesis?
                                                                   Does the introduction engage the reader?
                                                                   Is the essay logically organized?
                                                                   Do I vary the transitions (linking words & phrases) between
                                                                   sentences, paragraphs and ideas?
                                                                   Have I written a concluding paragraph that has some impact
                                                                   on the reader?


   CONVENTIONS                                                     Have I carefully edited and proofread my essay for:
                                                                      o Spelling?
                                                                      o Punctuation?
                                                                      o Sentence Structure?
                                                                      o Grammar?




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                                                                                                                                 230
                                                                                      Teacher Reference 1


                                                                 Overview of Topics
           2A.           Dietary Supplements: Facts vs. Fads
                         http://www.kidshealth.org/teen/nutrition/weight/diet_supplements.html


           2B.           Protecting Your Skin in the Sun
                         www.cbc.ca/news/background/consumers/sunscreen.html


           2C.           Is Exercise Safe for Teens?
                           www.kidshealth.org/teen/food_fitness/exercise/safe_exercise.html


           2D.           Body Art: The Story Behind Tattooing and Piercing in Canada
                           www.cbc.ca/news/background/tattoo/


           2E.           Anatomically Incorrect! The Unattainable Look, by Hilary Rowland
                         www.hilary.com


           2F.           3D Body Implants: ‘Body Art’ for Extreme Individuals, by Karen Coyle
                         www.fazeteen.com/winter2001/implants.htm


           2G.           Bodies Under Construction, by Liane Beam Wansbrough
                         www.fazeteen.com/fall2003/cosmeticsurgery.htm


           2H.           Are Steroids Worth the Risk?
                         www.kidshealth.org/teen/exercise/safety/steroids.html


           2I.           Theraputic Addiction, by Abigail D.
                         www.TeenInk.com/Past/2005/December/19641.html


           2J.           Web Safety, by Rachel D.
                         www.TeenInk.com/Past/2006/December/20757.html




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                                                                                                        231
                                                                                                                            Teacher Reference 2


                                                                 Overview of Topics
       Handout 2A                          Dietary Supplements
                                           -      When it comes to using supplements, you need to be a skeptical consumer. There are no quick
                                                  fixes to fitness and weight loss.

       Handout 2B                          Sun Tanning
                                           -      Each time skin is exposed to the sun and is tanned or burned, damage is done to cells and to
                                                  DNA; therefore, it is important to protect your skin.

       Handout 2C                          Nutrition and Fitness
                                           -      Although there are some risks involved with exercise (e.g. injury, or addictive/compulsive
                                                  exercise), when done regularly and in moderation, exercise will help you enjoy a healthy life, no
                                                  matter what your age.

       Handout 2D                          Tattooing and Piercing
                                           -      Tattoos and piercings are growing in popularity, but serious health issues (such as infection,
                                                  herpes and HIV transmission) cause increasing concern for health authorities)

       Handout 2E                          Unhealthy Diets
                                           -      Society’s obsession with “thin” is not healthy for anyone. Media images are artificial
                                                  constructions that do not reflect realistic, healthy bodies for men and women.

       Handout 2F                          Body Modification
                                           -      Body implants are a form of “body art” where objects are placed under the skin to create a
                                                  design. The procedure itself is generally safe, but there are risks involved (such as infections,
                                                  rejection of the materials implanted, and nerve damage).

       Handout 2G                          Plastic Surgery
                                           -      There are many reasons for cosmetic surgery, but increasingly, patients choose to change the
                                                  way they look because of self-esteem issues. It is key for doctors to evaluate a person’s
                                                  physical, emotional and psychological maturity before treatment.
       Handout 2H                          Steroids
                                           -      Steroids are artificially-produced hormones that people take hoping to improve their sports
                                                  performance or physical appearance. Using steroids results in serious side effects and not only
                                                  results in disqualification from competition – they harm the body.

       Handout 2I                          Healthy Addictions (Writing)
                                           -      One young woman explains how liberating and therapeutic it is to express her thoughts and
                                                  emotions through the written word.

       Handout 2J                          Web Safety
                                           -      Predators on the internet are a reality. However, it is unrealistic to try and shut down all
                                                  unsavoury websites. Teens need to be educated about the potential dangers of the internet,
                                                  and how they can manoeuvre through cyberspace without leaving a footprint that could invite a
                                                  predator into their lives.



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                                                                                   Handout 2A


   Dietary Supplements: Facts vs. Fads

   You've seen the ads: "Natural herbs melt pounds away - without diet or exercise!" or
   "Amazing new discovery boosts athletic performance!" They usually claim that a doctor
   has discovered a new dietary supplement, a miracle substance that will make you thinner,
   stronger, smarter, or better at whatever you do. Best of all, you're told, this supplement
   works without any real effort - all you have to do is send in your money and swallow what
   they send you.

   Having trouble believing these ads? You're right to be skeptical. There's little evidence
   that dietary supplements have the effects that they claim - and there is evidence that some
   supplements can cause serious damage to a user's health, especially when that user is a
   teen.

   What Are Dietary Supplements?

   Dietary supplements are products that include vitamins, minerals, amino
   acids, herbs, or botanicals (plants) - or any concentration, extract, or
   combination of these - as part of their ingredients. You can purchase
   dietary supplements in pill, gel capsule, liquid, or powder forms.

   How safe are they? In many cases, no one really knows. The U.S. Food and Drug
   Administration (FDA), which normally checks out the safety of foods and medicines
   before they come on the market, does not check on the safety of dietary supplements
   before they're sold. The FDA has to wait until it receives reports of problems caused by
   supplements before it can investigate and ban a dietary supplement. This is what
   happened with the herb ephedra (also called ma huang or herbal fen-phen) in 2003 when
   the FDA pulled the supplement from the U.S. market after it was linked to the death of a
   well-known baseball player.



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   This means that if you take an untested supplement, you are serving as the manufacturer's
   unpaid guinea pig and risking your own health.

   Can Supplements Make Me a Better Athlete?

   Some athletes take dietary supplements believing that these improve
   their performances. However, claims for these improvements are often
   exaggerated or not based on scientific evidence.

   And some supplements may be hazardous to teens. Anabolic steroids, manmade hormones
   similar to the male hormone testosterone, are unsafe and illegal. That's because the large
   quantities of these steroids that are found in the supplements can have devastating side
   effects on the body, including heart damage, kidney damage, and bone problems. Studies
   also show that steroids may be addictive, and that even small doses can interfere with
   growth in teens.

                                                   Because sports supplements like creatine are unregulated, there is
                                                   no standard dose. So users have no way of knowing what levels, if
                                                   any, are safe, especially for teens who are still growing. The same
                                                   goes for androstenedione, the supplement that gained attention
                                                   because professional baseball player Mark McGwire used it.
   Research suggests that this hormone supplement may lead to health problems such as
   acne, gynecomastia (breast enlargement in guys), and heart problems.

   Some people think that taking amino acid powders is helpful for increasing their muscle
   mass, but these powders don't actually have any special muscle-building effects. Amino
   acids are the building blocks of protein. Although it's scientifically true that they're
   required to build muscle (along with enough exercise), the human body can easily get all the
   amino acids it needs from the protein in food. So, if you work out properly and eat a
   balanced diet with enough protein, taking amino acid supplements won't actually do
   anything for you - except maybe empty your wallet.



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   Energy bars are also often used as a dietary supplement. These high-calorie, fortified
   treats should be used with caution, though. They may serve a purpose for athletes who
   burn lots of calories in high-intensity activities, like competitive cycling. But for most
   people they can add unwanted calories to the diet, and they're not particularly filling as a
   meal replacement.

   Can Supplements Help Me Lose Weight?

   If you'd like to lose a few pounds, you might be tempted to try some of the many herbal
   weight-loss products available today. But none of these herbal remedies work - and some
   (like ephedra, the banned weight-loss supplement mentioned above) can have serious side
   effects.

   Herbs like chickweed, ginseng, kelp, and bee pollen, often included in
   diet aids, do nothing to promote weight loss - and some can be
   harmful or deadly in large doses. The only safe and effective way to
   take off excess pounds remains healthy eating and exercise. If you
   are concerned about your weight, talk to a doctor or dietitian. He or
   she can help you get to a healthy weight.

   What About Vitamin and Mineral Supplements?

   The best way to get your daily dose of vitamins and minerals is from food. Although
   there's usually nothing wrong with a teen taking a basic multivitamin, if you're eating well,
   you probably don't need one. If you do choose to take a multivitamin, stick with a basic
   supplement and avoid brands that contain higher doses than 100% of the RDA for any
   vitamin or mineral. Some vitamins can build up in the human system and cause problems
   when taken in excess amounts.

   Talk to your doctor about additional vitamin and mineral supplements. If you can't eat
   dairy products for example, you might need a calcium supplement. Vegetarians might want



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   to take vitamin B12 (a vitamin that is found mainly in food that comes from animals and may
   be missing in a vegetarian diet). Teens whose doctors have put them on weight-loss diets
   of less than 1,200 calories a day or teens with food allergies should also discuss vitamin
   and mineral needs with their doctors.

   Supplement Warning Signals

   Check with your doctor before you take any dietary supplement, including vitamins and
   minerals. If your doctor starts you on a supplement, watch for warning signals that could
   indicate problems: stomach discomfort, pain, headache, rashes, or even vague symptoms
   like tiredness, dizziness, or lethargy.

   Because it's not always clear what goes into some
   supplements, people with food allergies should be
   particularly wary. Some supplements contain ingredients
   from shellfish and other potential allergens, and you just
   don't know how you'll react to them.

   When it comes to supplements, be a skeptical consumer. We all love to look for the quick
   fix. But if it looks too easy, it probably is.

   Reprinted with permission from www.kidshealth.org




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                                                                                                               Handout 2B


   Protecting Your Skin in the Sun

    It's easy to head out into the summer heat thinking you're protected because of the
   sunscreen you've slapped on. Canadian dermatologists say that's
   not enough. There are 75,000 new cases of skin cancer in the
   country every year.

    The biggest mistake people make about sunscreen is they don't
   use enough of it. If you buy one tube in the spring and still have
   some left at the end of summer, you're not using enough sunscreen, unless, of
   course, you've spent the whole summer indoors.

   Exposure to ultraviolet (UV) radiation can cause premature aging and at its worst,
   skin cancer. Artificial sources of UV radiation, such as sunlamps and tanning
   booths, can also cause skin cancer.

                                                                 According to the Canadian Dermatological
                                                                 Association, ultraviolet light works in many different
                                                                 ways to cause skin cancer. Each time skin is exposed to
                                                                 the sun and becomes tanned or burned, damage is done
                                                                 to individual cells and to DNA.

                                                                 Some cells die and some repair themselves by getting rid
   of the damaged DNA. Cells that cannot repair themselves eventually become
   defective. UV radiation lowers the body’s immune system, making it more difficult to
   destroy defective cells. Defective cells that are not destroyed can slowly grow and
   produce a tumour.




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   There are three types of UV radiation:

   • UVA: not as powerful as UVB, but these rays
           penetrate more deeply into the skin. Responsible for
           contributing to photodamage and wrinkling of the skin,
           premature aging, and skin cancer. Prevalent in tanning
           parlours.

   • UVB: primarily affects the skin’s outer layers and is thought to be the primary
           cause of sunburn, skin aging and skin cancer. UVB rays tend to be more intense
           during the summer months.

   • UVC: strongest, most dangerous rays. But they're normally filtered out by the
           ozone layer and do not reach the surface of the Earth.

   Here are some tips on protecting your skin and your health.

   • Use sunscreen with a minimum Sun Protection Factor (SPF) 15 with UVA or
           UVB protection (look for the CDA logo — Canadian Dermatological
           Association).

   • Re-apply sunscreen periodically throughout the day and frequently if you're
           exercising in the heat.

   • Reduce your exposure to the sun, particularly between 11 am and 4 pm when the
           sun's rays are at their peak.

   • Wear clothing that protects as much skin as possible.

   • Wear a wide-brimmed hat and wrap-around sunglasses with UVA and UVB
           protection.

   • Look for shaded areas during outdoor activities.


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   • If you are taking antibiotics or acne medication be especially cautious because
           they can increase your risk of sunburn.

   • If you use self-tanning creams, remember that you must still apply sunscreen. You
           may be darker but that doesn't mean you're protected.

   • Check your daily local forecast for "UV ratings" and cover up accordingly.
   Reprinted with permission from the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC)




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                                                                                       Handout 2C


   Is Exercise Safe for Teens?

   If you're an active person, you probably get a lot of exercise, whether you work out at a
   gym, play football at school, or simply bike to school. Do you ever worry that too much
   exercise may hurt instead of help your health? Relax - sticking to a routine of regular
   exercise is one of the best things you can do for your body. In fact, experts recommend
   that teens get at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous activity every day.

   Why? Because exercise serves several purposes: It makes your
   heart and lungs strong, it increases your strength and endurance,
   and it helps you maintain a healthy weight. In fact, you can actually
   change your physique through exercise by building or defining
   certain muscle groups over time. Exercise benefits your body not
   just in your teen years, but helps you stay healthy throughout
   adulthood, too.

   Although some teens worry that exercise could stunt their growth, when you exercise
   safely and eat properly, there's no danger that your height or growth pattern will stall out.
   Exercise can help you alter your body composition, increasing your ratio of muscle to fat.
   And most people who exercise say that they feel more alert and better in general.

   Exercise, though, like most things in life, is best done in moderation. If you overdo it, it is
   possible to injure yourself. Pain during or after a workout is a clear sign that you are
   exercising improperly or too often.

   Working out too often or for too long can cause added problems for girls, who may
   experience amenorrhea (pronounced: ay-meh-nuh-ree-uh), which means their periods stop.
   And some teens who start out with the intention of becoming healthy may begin




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   to feel guilty or anxious if they don't exercise - an unhealthy problem called compulsive
   exercise. If you have pain after working out, if you stop getting your period, or you feel like
   you must exercise every day even if you're tired or injured, discuss these things with your
   doctor.

   Your doctor can be a good resource before you start an exercise plan, too. If you are just
   beginning an exercise program, your doctor can help you decide on the best type of
   exercise for your individual health needs.

   Then consult with someone who understands the mechanics of exercise,
   like a coach or a fitness expert at a gym, to help you get started. He or she
   will help you select a program that combines aerobic activity, which focuses
   on the heart and lungs, with weight training, which concentrates on
   strengthening and conditioning your muscles. You may also want to learn
   some stretching exercises to help you increase your flexibility, another
   important part of fitness.

                                          Once you start, be sure to eat nutritiously by chowing down on a variety
                                          of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, low-fat and nonfat dairy products, and
                                          lean protein sources. You should also drink plenty of water before,
                                          during, and after workouts to make up for fluids lost during exercise. And
                                          you'll need plenty of sleep, so your body has time to rest and recover
   between workouts. You can also take care of your body and improve your performance by
   avoiding smoking, alcohol, and drugs. Drugs include dietary supplements and anabolic
   steroids, powerful chemicals that can cause behavior problems, liver problems, and increase
   your risk for heart attack and stroke.

   With a commitment to regular exercise now, you'll be setting the stage for a lifetime of good
   health.

   Reprinted with permission from www.kidshealth.org




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                                                                                                               Handout 2D


   Body Art: The Story Behind Tattooing and
   Piercing in Canada

   Piercing isn't exactly mainstream, but in spite of the cost, it is growing in popularity. It's also
   causing concern for health authorities.
                                                                                                    Piercing prices at
                                                                                                       one shop in
   Health Canada has guidelines to deal with prevention and                                              Toronto

   control of infection in the tattoo and body piercing industry.                              Navel               $39
                                                                                               Tongue              $52
   Cities must perform inspections annually or when they receive                               Eyebrow             $34
                                                                                               Lip                 $39
   complaints. But otherwise, it’s a self-regulated business. There                            Nostril             $34
                                                                                               Septum              $30
   is no set of federal rules, regulations, or laws to govern the                              Earlobe             $26
                                                                                               Both earlobes       $50
   industry.

   Denise Robinson, former editor of the body art magazine Needle Exchange is now a
   health educator at the City of Ottawa's Health Department. She told CBC News
   Online that tattoo parlours and piercing studios are largely regulated the same way
   restaurants are regulated – with health and safety standards. Inspectors investigate
   facilities for infractions and studios that don’t meet standards are shut down.

                                            While there is no law that says that you must be over the age of majority
                                            to use a piercing or tattoo service, many parlours insist that those under
                                            the age of 18 provide written permission from a parent or guardian.
                                            However, many of these letters are forged and some children go to
                                            parlours that do not require parental consent. Robinson says many of
   these facilities are in people's homes and are not subject to any inspections or standards.

   What is tattooing?

   Health Canada defines tattooing as the art of permanently depositing pigment into the
   skin to a depth of 1-2 mm to create a design. An electric machine vibrates a cluster of



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   needles hundreds of times per minute to puncture the skin and deposit the pigment. The
   art dates bate to 2000 B.C. as a tribal custom in many different parts of the world,
   including Africa and North America.

   What is ear/body piercing?

   Ear/body piercing is the insertion of metal jewelry into skin tissue
   using an ear piercing gun or long needles. The most frequently
   pierced sites, according to Health Canada include, ears, nose,
   navel, lip, tongue and nipples.


   What are the risks involved?

                                          Carla McPhie of Ajax, Ontario, thought that getting her tongue pierced
                                          would be fun, until it caused a brain infection 10 months later. She began
                                          getting throbbing headaches, eventually fell into seizure and was rushed
                                          to hospital where she had a large piece of her skull removed to treat a
                                          brain abscess.

   While this is an extreme case, the rate of infection in Canada from tattoos and piercings is
   relatively high. It is caused by the breaking of the skin, which usually protects the body from
   being infected by bacteria. This may happen through the use of a contaminated needle or
   by bacteria entering the body through the break in the skin.

   More infections have been reported after tattooing than after piercing. Piercing and
   tattooing have transmitted diseases such as Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C, HIV/AIDS,
   warts, herpes, toxic shock syndrome, skin tuberculosis, inoculation leprosy, and bacterial
   skin infections.

   Other problems include allergies to tattoo pigments, reactions to metals in body jewelry
   and scar tissue formation. Malignant melanoma, a type of cancer, has also been linked to
   tattooing.




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   How do you avoid the risks?

   Consumers should always look out for clean, well-sterilized
   facilities and an artist that they trust. Health Canada guidelines
   state that body piercers and tattoo artists must use pre-
   packaged, pre-sterilized disposable needles and sterile equipment.
   An ear-piercing gun should never be used to pierce any body part
   other than the ear. Customer should also tell the artist about any
   allergies before the procedure begins.


   How many people have tattoos or piercings?

   Since body piercing is a fairly new phenomenon, Canadian statistics on the procedure are
   few. However, there’s some evidence that it’s growing in popularity.

   Health Canada reported that between 73 per cent and 83 per cent of U.S. women had
   their ears pierced and between 34 and 52 per cent had complications arising from their
                                                     piercings. Between 1960 and 1980, the number of U.S. women
                                                     who were tattooed quadrupled, totalling between 50,000 and
                                                     100,000 tattoos annually.

                                                     In Canada, 47 per cent of males and 53 per cent of females in prison
                                                     had tattoos. Edmonton, Alberta alone has 16 tattoo shops,
                                                     employing 23 tattoo artists and nine body piercers.


   Reprinted with permission from the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC)




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                                                                                                                        Handout 2E


   Anatomically Incorrect! The Unattainable Look

   It's bikini season again and this year the trend to be thin is more pronounced
   than ever.

   The newsstands are displaying magazines of which almost every issue has a
   thin, gorgeous swimsuit model on its cover. Your television is showing more and
   more unhealthily thin actresses. Bones are jutting out and implants are taking
   the place of real breasts. Most of these supermodels and actresses are so
   unnaturally thin that they risk infertility, osteoporosis and, ultimately, kidney
   damage.

   Jennifer Aniston's former trainer says "[Jennifer's] new figure did not come from working out with me.
   She lost body fat (seemingly all of it) by drastically reducing carbs in her diet - a way that's not healthy
   in my books."

   This obsession with thinness seems to be a sort of domino effect. One actress loses weight to please
   the media, next all her co-stars are losing weight to keep up. Courtney Thorne-Smith (size 4) has said
   that if she were not on TV show Ally McBeal, she'd be 5 pounds heavier but won't risk it for fear
   she'll look big next to her size 2 co-stars. "I would run eight miles, go to lunch and order my salad
   dressing on the side. I was always tired and hungry," says Courtney.

                                                       Meanwhile, her co-star, Calista Flockhart, has discovered spinning -
                                                       vigorous workouts on stationary bikes. "At first it hurts your butt, but you
                                                       become addicted to it like a maniac," says the size 2, 5'6", 100lb Ally
                                                       McBeal star.

                                                       Does anyone ever think about how the overload of these images in the
                                                       media affects the everyday person? Well, for many women, and an increasing
                                                       number or men, it doesn't exactly have a positive effect. In fact, the idea of
                                                       the media's (and consequently, everybody else's) "ideal" woman often makes
                                                       "normal" people self-conscious -- even if they have nothing to be self-
                                                       conscious about.




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   What most people don't realize is that every image of a model or actress in a fashion or beauty
   magazine has been touched-up using the latest computer technology to remove 'flaws' like bulges,
   pimples and stretch marks. Elizabeth Hurley even admitted that her breasts were electronically
   enlarged for the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine.

   "On my last Cosmo cover," she recalled in a recent Details mag interview, "they added about five
   inches to my breasts. It's very funny. I have, like, massive knockers. Huge. Absolutely massive."

   Christy Turlington explains to Elle magazine... "Advertising is so manipulative," she says. "There's
   not one picture in magazines today that's not airbrushed." ...

   "It's funny," Turlington continues, "when women see pictures of models
   in fashion magazines and say, 'I can never look like that,' what they don't
   realise is that no one can look that good without the help of a
   computer."

   Beyond that, there are about 100-300 professional photographs
   taken for each published image you see. They are taken from the
   absolute best angle in perfect lighting with the clothes pinned just-so.

   And as if that wasn't enough, the model’s hair and makeup is always
   professionally done and is constantly touched up by a makeup artist and hair stylist standing by to
   make sure nothing looks less-than-perfect.

   According to Prevention magazine, a "healthy weight" for a woman who is 5'9" is 129-169 pounds. An
   average 5'9" model's weight is somewhere around 115 lbs.

   Cindy Crawford is an example of an exception to the rule: she is a model and she is not stick-thin. She
   has lots of muscle, and it looks good. She is the kind of woman more magazines need to have on their
   covers and in their editorials. She projects strength and beauty.

   "I am not the skinniest model," says Cindy, "but I have had success as a model, so I feel more confident
   putting on a bathing suit and standing in front of a camera. In life, I have all the insecurities anyone has.
   It's a cliché, but we're our own worst critics."

                                                                                           by Hilary Rowland
    Reprinted with permission from HILARY Magazine www.hilary.com




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                                                                                               Handout 2F

   3D Body Implants
   'Body Art' for Extreme Individuals
   Along with tattoos, piercing, branding and scarification, implants are a type of body modification,
   or body art as some call it.

   Implants are created by placing an object under the skin to make a design. It's a pretty simple
   procedure really: an incision is made near the area the implant will be placed, then a pocket is made
   and the object is inserted. The incision is then stitched up and it's all done.

   Steve Haworth is a pioneer and expert in the art of 3-D body
   modification. When asked, in an interview with bmezine, what
   motivates people to get the implants, Steve replied, "Extreme
   individualism. Ten years ago if you had a piercing or a tattoo
   you stood alone, and today, even though piercing and tattooing
   are still a wonderful form of self-expression, you stand in a
   group."

   The most commonly used materials are titanium, soft solid
   silicone, and Teflon. Other materials such as stainless steel can
   be used, but some people can develop an allergic reaction and reject the implant. The procedure
   itself is quite safe, but as with any sort of body modification, there are some risks.

   Steve says, "We can sterilize our instrumentation, we can make the area that we're working around
   aseptic, we can control to some small extent airborne pathogens, but otherwise that's the max of
   what we can do."

   But if the right material is used and a professional does the procedure, it is very rare that the body
   will reject it. If rejection does occur, the body will push the implant out through the skin.

   Another serious risk is hitting nerves while making the incision or inserting the object. "There's a
   lot of areas in the sides of the head near the temple and the cheek area that I will not work on
   because there are nerve channels that run in those areas that control muscle function," Steve said
   to bmezine. "I'm really, really, really apprehensive about doing work on the back of the hand,"
   Steve adds, as there is the risk of possible loss of sensation to some of the tissue.




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   Once the procedure is finished, sometimes the object will shift slightly from it's original position
   and that's completely normal. However, if the customer is careless and doesn't take proper care,
   the object can shift severely and in turn change the look of the design.

   The length of time the process takes depends on the type of implants and the person it is being
   done on. Each person's fibrous layer is different; some may take less than 10 minutes, others up to
   half an hour. It also depends on the size of the implant.

   The implants are meant to be permanent but they can be
   removed. In fact it's easier to remove them than it is to put
   them in. If someone isn't happy with the outcome, or if
   they've shifted at all, they can easily be removed or
   replaced.

   Steve has performed bead implants on his fiancé and has been "in and out of her wrist three times
   in a row. The first time was five beads, the second time was five larger beads, third time was a
   captive bead ring instead of beads. As far as reversible, in most cases it's easier to remove than to
   put in," Steve explains.

   Some people will go to great extremes to stand out in a crowd.

   Brodie Hutton, 17, said, "I think the body implants look cool, but it depends on where you put
   them. I like the ones on the chest and the arms, and I think guys look a lot better with them than girls
   do."

                                                         However, Michael Johnston, 18, isn't a fan of the procedure. "It's closer
                                                         to body mutilation than modification. If people really want to be different
                                                         they should just do their own thing then they won't need to put a sign on
                                                         their body that says, 'look at me, I'm trying to be different."

                                                         So, like with any art, whether it be on the human body or hanging on a
                                                         wall, it all comes down to personal preference, some people like it and
                                                         some don't.

                                                                                                                    By Karen Coyle


Source: Faze Magazine www.fazemagazine.com


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                                                                                                             Handout 2G

   Bodies Under Construction - Thinking of
   Cosmetic Surgery? Read this first!
   Three years ago, when a 15-year-old British girl decided to get breast implants for her sixteenth
   birthday, the story made headlines around the world. Since then, media reports have continued to
   speculate that cosmetic surgery, once the exclusive domain of wealthy older women, is a trendy new
   option for any teenager with an adolescent hang-up.

   Dr. Darrick Antell, a top New York City plastic surgeon, says he has
   seen an increase in the number of teenage patients but cautions against
   calling it a trend. “One of the main reasons for the increase is visibility:
   today’s teenagers are growing up with parents who have had cosmetic
   surgery, so they see and hear about it more. The media has also done a
   good job of making people aware of the procedures available. Another
   reason is acceptability. In a way, plastic surgery has come out of the
   closet,” Dr. Antell says.

   When details of cosmetic procedures are frequently discussed on talk shows and published in
   magazines, it’s not surprising that they filter into our consciousness. “Sometimes when I’m out to
   dinner with my friends, we’ll play a game called ‘What would you have done?’ where we sort of
   daydream and discuss what we would do if money was no object and the procedures were safe,”
   says 18-year-old Alison Preiss, an Ontario high school student. While Preiss doesn’t think she
   could actually go through with a procedure, she says it could go either way. “I could grow up to
   realize that there are more important things than my nose, or it could really bother me to the point
   where I decide to have surgery. I suppose it depends on my lifestyle and career choices,” Preiss
   says.

                                     Suzanne Ma, a 19-year-old Ryerson University student, has considered a
                                     double eyelid procedure popular in Asia. “I’m Chinese, and I don’t like my eyes. I
                                     don’t have double eyelids, so I feel that my eyes look a lot smaller than they really
                                     are. My concerns are not entirely for cosmetic reasons. With my heavy eyelids, my
   eyelashes don’t grow out properly. Some of them get trapped under the eyelids and it’s very easy
   for me to get an infection,” Ma says.




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   As in North America, plastic surgery is booming overseas, especially in wealthier Asian countries
   like Taiwan and Korea, where it is seen as a way to improve career prospects and self-confidence.
   In China, women and some men are paying thousands of dollars to have a brutal surgical procedure
   performed that lengthens their legs so they can fulfill height requirements often used to narrow
   down the number of job applicants.

   Although reasons for cosmetic surgery range from getting a better look to
   improving job prospects, often the common factor among patients is more
   than skin deep. “Teenagers who are thinking about having plastic surgery
   to change the way they look are often addressing issues of self-esteem,”
   says psychotherapist Dorothy Ratusny. “Between the ages of 13 and 19,
   there’s a lot of emphasis on peers and what others think of you. It’s also a
   time when things such as not being part of the popular crowd, changes in
   financial situation and divorce can negatively affect a teenager’s self esteem.”


                                           "You should be able to do whatever you want to your body, and
                                                                 no one should judge you." - Susan, 16



                                           "People should just stop caring so much about everybody else’s
                                                  opinion. Yours is the only one that matters." - Carrie, 17


   Cosmetic surgery may have a positive impact if your body image is consistently tied to a negative
   focus on a particular facial feature or body part. Dr. Antell says, “The classic case is a teenage
   patient of mine who had reconstructive surgery to correct a significant discrepancy between her
   upper and lower jaws. When she came into my office for the initial consultation she was constantly
   looking at the floor. After the surgery, she was looking up and smiling. Now she’s singing in her
   local school group.” Dr. Antell is careful to point out that there are murky areas. “Liposuction is
   one of those areas. So is breast augmentation because you’re not really sure that the teenager
   has stopped growing yet. But there are exceptions, for example, if a patient has breast
   asymmetry.” Dr. Mitchell Brown, a plastic surgeon at Sunnybrook and Women’s College Health
   Sciences Centre in Toronto says, “Correcting breast asymmetry, when women develop breasts
   that are different in terms of shape and size, can be appropriate for teenage girls because it
   causes a very significant psychological impact on them during their developmental years.”



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                                                           I just have two words: Michael Jackson. - Jason, 18




                                                  "If you’re doing it because of what other people think, then it’s
                                                                           wrong." - Mike, 15



   Doctors are very aware of the psychological drama affecting our lives and it has become a very
   important factor when evaluating a patient. Dr. Brown says, “The key thing from my perspective is
   to assess physical, emotional and psychological maturity before treating a patient. I spend a great
   deal of time with my patients, regardless of their age, to determine that they have thought out their
   concern carefully and have reasonable goals and expectations.” In other words, cosmetic surgery
   can improve a patient’s body but it won’t necessarily improve their self-image or guarantee
   happiness. Dr. Antell says, “I’ve done liposuction on a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. This is
   somebody most people would think looked perfect. But she was very insecure. She didn’t see
   herself the way others did. I can’t give people confidence.”

                                                                          So, if you’re considering cosmetic surgery you need to
                                                                          ask yourself what you hope to achieve because it’s not
                                                                          going to be the one magic solution that makes everything
                                                                          better. In fact, it may even change you for the worse—just
                                                                          surf the Web and read the thousands of horror stories
                                                                          from people hoping to find peace of mind or happiness
                                                                          by going under the knife.

                                                                          Dr. Ratusny says, “[Teens] need to be really realistic
                                                                          with the fact that cosmetic surgery may be only one piece
                                                                          of many things that serve to improve aspects of
                                                                          themselves. There may be physical changes but the real
                                                                          change begins with who they are inside.”

                                                                                                      By Liane Beam Wansbrough




 Source: Faze Magazine www.fazemagazine.com

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                                                                                   Handout 2H


   Are Steroids Worth the Risk?

   Steroids, sometimes referred to as roids, juice, hype, weight trainers, gym candy, arnolds,
   stackers, or pumpers, are the same as, or similar to, certain hormones in the body. The
   body produces steroids naturally to support such functions as fighting stress and
   promoting growth and development. But some people use steroid pills, gels, creams, or
   injections because they think steroids can improve their sports performance or the way
   they look.


   Anabolic steroids are artificially produced hormones that
   are the same as, or similar to, androgens, the male-type
   sex hormones in the body. There are more than 100
   variations of anabolic steroids. The most powerful
   androgen is testosterone (pronounced: tess-toss-tuh-
   rone). Although testosterone is mainly a mature male
   hormone, girls' bodies produce smaller amounts.
   Testosterone promotes the masculine traits that guys
   develop during puberty, such as deepening of the voice
   and growth of body hair. Testosterone levels can also affect how aggressive a person is.


   Athletes sometimes take anabolic steroids because of their testosterone-like effects.


   Dangers of Steroids

   Anabolic steroids cause many different types of problems. Some of the more serious or
   long-lasting side effects are:




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         •       high blood pressure that can damage             •   premature balding or hair loss
                 the heart or blood vessels over time
                                                                 •   dizziness
         •       aching joints
                                                                 •   mood swings, including anger,
         •       greater chance of injuring muscles and              aggression, and depression
                 tendons
                                                                 •   seeing or hearing things that aren't
         •       jaundice or yellowing of the skin; liver            there (hallucinations)
                 damage
                                                                 •   extreme feelings of mistrust or fear
         •       urinary problems                                    (paranoia)

         •       shortening of final adult height                •   problems sleeping

         •       increased risk of developing heart              •   nausea and vomiting
                 disease, stroke, and some types of
                                                                 •   trembling
                 cancer


   Specific risks for girls associated with anabolic steroids include:

   •       increased facial hair growth

   •       development of masculine traits, such as deepening of the voice, and loss of feminine
           body characteristics, such as shrinking of the breasts

   •       menstrual cycle changes

   Specific risks for guys include:

   •       testicular shrinkage

   •       breast development

   •       impotence (inability to get an erection)

   •       sterility (inability to have children)




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                                                                 Steroids can also have serious psychological side effects.
                                                                 Some users become aggressive or combative, developing
                                                                 "roid rage" — extreme, uncontrolled bouts of anger caused by
                                                                 long-term steroid use.

                                                                 Strong Alternatives to Steroids

                                                                 Anabolic steroids are controversial in the sports world
                                                                 because of the health risks associated with them and their
                                                                 unproven performance benefits. Most are illegal and are
                                                                 banned by professional sports organizations and medical
                                                                 associations. As seen in the high-profile cases, if an athlete
   is caught using steroids, his or her career can be destroyed.

   When it comes right down to it, harming your body or getting disqualified aren't smart ways
   to try to improve your athletic performance. Being a star athlete means training the healthy
   way: eating the right foods, practicing, and strength training without the use of drugs.




   Reprinted with permission from www.kidshealth.org




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                                                                                           Handout 2I


   Therapeutic Addiction

   Time has a way with irony, and as I‘ve discovered, I‘m usually its victim. If
   someone had told me six years ago of the oddity I would become, I
   would have laughed. In sixth grade I developed a habit when my parents
   were on the outs that soon, after that first tantalizing sample, became an
   obsession. It was my companion and welcoming embrace when I felt the
   pressure of my parents’ quickly dissolving marriage that would crush my
   whole world into a fine powder. It was therapy, my way of coping. So as
   I lay each night with a pad of paper and pen next to my bed or a thick
   novel, I slept all the more soundly.

   There are those who call me eccentric. After all, it isn‘t common to meet someone who has a habit
   of reading 500 pages of literature each week, composes a 100-page story, and manages to earn
   superior grades as though it were as natural as breathing.

   Now, don‘t get me wrong, I‘m accustomed to being an oddity and this title no longer holds a
   negative connotation. I see it as my own stamp of originality. Looking back on what I‘ve gone
   through, I can easily say that nothing I‘ve done has been as therapeutic as my literary endeavors.

   As a writer and editor for Writer‘s Workshop at my school, I‘ve been involved in publishing five
   annual literary magazines (and been published in each one). There is nothing as liberating as
   openly expressing emotions through the written word. Still, shadows of my past loom, my hopes
   and dreams easily become small, wavering lights in the distance, and my ideal of expressing those
   dreams through poetry, a mockery. Yet all it took to alleviate these doubts was a stranger who
   approached me, and said these memorable words: “Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I was
   going through rough times and your poetry helped me sort things out.” Nothing has ever moved me
   as much as those simple, honest words. They made me smile and realize that by dealing with my own
   tempestuous emotions, I was allowing others the opportunity to deal with theirs.




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   Now I understand that by writing, I am not just making a promise to express myself but creating a
   medium through which we relate to one another. This is the ultimate beauty in self-expression - if
   we can make it our habit, our obsession, we‘ll finally be able to rise above the chaos of the world
   and see ourselves as who we are and who we want to be. Only then can we truly appreciate the
   emotions which are unique and vital to our existence, to our very humanity.

                                                                          by Abigail D., Palm Bay, FL

   Reprinted with permission from www.teenink.com




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                                                                                                                        Handout 2J


   Web Safety
   Of all the websites, one that has attracted attention recently is the social network myspace.com. Most of
   this attention has come from the media and illustrates every reason why the website should be shut down.
   The threat of predators is indeed a harsh reality, but shutting down the site is not the answer. If myspace
   were shut down, another better site would quickly take its place. Therefore, the approach is to teach teens
   how to use the site, and others like it, safely. Unless teens are educated about the adults who may be
   predators and how to avoid them, the problem will persist.

                                              The key to staying safe on the internet is to make sure that your profile is secure.
                                              The simplest way to do this is by changing the privacy setting on your profile to
                                              “private.” This protects your information so that only the people on your friend list
                                              can view it. Although this is effective, it is not foolproof. Predators can find ways to
                                              view your profile if they really want to, whether through hacking in or manipulating
                                              their way onto your friend list. Because of this, you should never post too much
                                              personal information. Some people actually post their home and school addresses,
                                              date of birth, and other personal info, often letting predators know exactly where
   they will be and when. The most info that is safe is your first name and state. Anything more is basically
   inviting a predator into your life.

   Another big issue is photos. I suggest completely skipping photos, but if you are going to include some,
   make them innocent and fun, not provocative. Also, never post a photo of a friend online without asking
   permission.

   Most importantly, never, under any circumstances, agree to a real-life meeting with anyone you meet online.
   No matter how well you think you know this person, there are no guarantees that they have told the truth.
   A good example is John Contos, who in his myspace.com profile said he was 16. Two 16-year-old girls and
   a 14-year-old believed him and agreed to meet him. He was actually 27! There is also evidence that he
   exploited a number of girls before them.

   These situations do happen and you need to be aware. You should feel free to chat with people you meet
   on the site, but just remember that not everyone is who they say they are. Hopefully, the next time you edit
   your profile, you’ll be more informed about the dangers of internet predators and take the steps to defend
   yourself.

                                                                                                         by Rachel D., Greenville, RI
    Reprinted with permission from www.teenink.com



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                                                                                              Handout 3

                              How Do Our Choices Determine Our Well-Being?

   Brainstorm topics related to choice, health and well-being. Poke into the corners of your brain
   and generate a list of problems, questions and issues that matter to you. You can use ideas from
   the articles read in class, as well as other related topics that motivate you to write about “how our
   choices determine our well-being.” Go for quantity. Do not discount any ideas that pop into your
   head at this time.




              My Topic:


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                                                                                        Teacher Reference 3

                                                                 Narrowing Your Focus

   Sample Think Aloud
   Well .... let’s see, where do I begin? This is soooo hard to do. I know that the big question is: “How
   do our choices determine our well being?” And, I also know that I definitely want to write about
   exercise and how choosing to exercise is good for you. It’s hard to narrow my focus though
   because it seems to me like I have narrowed it .... I’ve already made my decision about what I want to
   write about. I want to write about “exercise.” Isn’t that good enough? ... I just want to say that we
   should all choose to exercise because exercising is good for our health? We all know that’s true, so
   what’s wrong with just writing about that?

   .... Maybe there is nothing wrong with just writing about that . Maybe I could just say that people
   who exercise are better off because: they have more energy ... they’re less stressed out ... and they
   have fewer heart problems as they get older. This is true; everything I’ve read proves this. Hmm ...
   I guess when I really think about it though ....this is the problem. This is what’s really bugging me.
   Everybody’s going to say stuff like that. You can’t argue a point like that. Of course exercise is
   good for you ... It’s too obvious. It’s a no-brainer!

   So now where does that leave me? ... Back to where I started from .... Great! ... Well, I guess the
   good news is that I’ve kind of figured out that I need to write about something that really requires
   me to be persuasive in my essay. Something that everbody might not agree with .... maybe my
   audience could be all the serious athletes in the school ... maybe I could write about the dangers of
   exercise and if you exercise too much, you could injure yourself. That would be controversial ... at
   least with all the athletes it would.

   Oh man .. this is going to drive me crazy. I don’t like that essay topic either ... I guess it would be
   good for some people, but not for me because I really feel passionate about exercise. I think it
   should be mandatory! I think that all kids in highschool should have to take P.E. right up to grade
   12 .... Hey! ... I think I’ve got it! It’ll irritate some ... because I know there are kids who hate Phys.
   Ed., and they don’t care if it’s good for them. They just don’t want to take it. Period. But in my
   opinion, they should because there are all kinds of benefits. I think all kids should take P.E. from
   grades 8-12. So ... that’s it! That’s what I’m going to try to do in my essay: I’m going to argue that
   all students should have to take P.E.



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                                                                                    Overhead 1




                                                                 Opinion




                  Reason #1                                       Reason #2   Reason #3




                 What Next?                                      What Next?   What Next?




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                                                                                             Teacher Reference 4




                                                                   Opinion
                                If left to individuals, most students wouldn’t make

                  choices that promote well-being; therefore, PE should be
                                                           mandatory from grades 8 to 12


                  Reason #1                                          Reason #2                  Reason #3


             People who                                           Playing sports            Active people
           exercise have                                          helps develop             lead healthier
             fewer health                                           team skills.               life styles.
                problems.


                 What Next?                                         What Next?                 What Next?


       Find proof of this.                                       Talk to friends on        Research this and
       Is this true?                                             teams to get              find examples. Is
       Interview a doctor                                        anecdotes and             this true? Go to
       or public health                                          quotes.                   the library.
       nurse.



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                                                                                     Handout 4




                                                                 Opinion




                  Reason #1                                       Reason #2   Reason #3




                 What Next?                                      What Next?   What Next?




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                                                                                                     Unit 5
                                                                                                 Lesson 2




      Testing the Thesis Statement
                                               Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                 Meaning
                                                                 Style
                                                                 Form
                                                                 Conventions



       Lesson 2
       Learning Intentions:
                             understand the purpose of thesis statements in persuasive essays.
                             differentiate between strong and weak thesis statements and describe why
                             they are strong or weak.
                             develop specific criteria for assessing thesis statements.
                             write thesis statements.
                             describe and assess thesis statements through application of specific
                             criteria.


       Preparation:
                             copy class sets of Handouts 1, 2, 3, 4 & 5




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       Lesson 2
       Testing the Thesis Statement
                                                                 Details                                     Materials
       1. Build Background Knowledge: Thesis Statements
              •       Once students have selected a topic and formulated an opinion about their
                      topic, tell them that in formal essay writing this opinion (when distilled into a
                      sentence or two) is called a “Thesis Statement”.
              •       Stress the importance of a thesis statement in an essay. Talk to Handout 1.         Handout 1


       2. Introduce the Concept: Strong and Weak Thesis Statements
              •       In addition to knowing the purpose of a thesis statement, it’s important for
                      students to understand that not all thesis statements are equal; depending on
                      how they are written, some can be better than others.
              •       Distribute Handout 2. Go over the qualities of a strong thesis statement.           Handout 2
              •       Distribute Handout 3. In pairs, students identify strong and weak thesis            Handout 3 & Teacher
                      statements and provide a rationale for each.                                        Reference
              •       Class discusses the rationale behind the strength or weakness of each thesis
                      statement.


       3. Teacher Models – Connecting Thesis Statements to Performance
              Standards
              •       Now that students have a sense of the qualities of a strong thesis statement, use
                      Overhead 1 to draw attention to the criteria in the Performance Standards           Overhead 1
                      connected to thesis statements. When discussing this with the class, note the
                      general nature of the criteria. The class knows far more specific information
                      about thesis statements than stated in the Performance Standards.
              •       Think out loud and generate criteria specific to the information learned in this
                      lesson (from Handouts 1 and 2) and the essay assignment students are being          Overhead 1 Teacher
                      asked to write. See Overhead 1 Teacher Reference.                                   Reference
              •       Distribute Handout 4. In pairs, students continue generating “specific criteria”    Handout 4
                      for thesis statements.
              •       Pairs share “specific criteria” for thesis statements with the whole class.
                      Students may add to or modify their specific criteria as they listen to others in
                      the class.




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                                                                 Details                                      Materials
       4. Independent Writing Practice – Writing Strong Thesis Statements
              •       Distribute Handout 5. Students write three thesis statements that directly           Handout 5
                      reflect the opinions they formulated in Lesson 1.
              •       Using the specific criteria they generated in Handout 4 and the “strong man”
                      visuals in Handout 5, students assess the strength of their three thesis
                      statements.
              •       Students select their strongest thesis statement and explain why this statement is
                      their best in the Student Assessment section
              •       Students hand in Handout 5. Teacher completes the Teacher Assessment
                      section.


              Note: Teachers, for students who are still having difficulty identifying and writing
                             strong thesis statements, provide further support by working with these
                             students in small groups.




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                                                                                              Handout 1

                                               Why Is a Thesis Statement Important?



                                     A thesis statement takes stand on an issue directly related

                                     to the “big question” (How do our choices determine our well-

                                     being?).

                                     It directly tells your reader the position you are supporting in

                                     your argument.

                                     It tells readers in one sentence (or two at the most) what your

                                     essay is about.

                                     It clarifies the purpose of your essay. It lets your readers

                                     know your opinion.




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                                                                                                               Handout 2




                                                                              A strong thesis statement
                                                                             takes some sort of stand.
                                                                         •    the language and phrasing
                                                                                 in the sentence are not
                                                                                vague.
                                                                         A strong thesis statement
                                                                         justifies discussion.
                                                                         •    the author’s position is clear
                                                                              but the point that is being
                                                                              argued is debatable.
                                                                 A strong thesis statement expresses
                                                                 one main idea.
                                                                     •       there is no confusion on the
                                                                             readers’ part about the subject
                                                                             of the essay.

                                                      A strong thesis statement is focused and
                                                      specific.
                                                                 •   the topic is manageable and can be
                                                                     discussed thoroughly in the essay.




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                                                                                               Handout 3

                                                                 The Strength Tester
       Instructions: Using the criteria you have in Handout 2 on the qualities of a strong thesis
       statement, decide on the strength of each statement below. Colour the strong-man graphic to
       indicate how strong each statement is. Provide a rationale for each decision.

       Thesis Statement                                                                Strength
       1. There are some negative and positive aspects to making P.E.                               Very Strong!


              mandatory from grades 8 to 12.

                                                                                                     Weak!




       Rationale:




       2. It is not a requirement in B.C. for students to take P.E. in                              Very Strong!



              grades 11 and 12.

                                                                                                     Weak!




       Rationale:




       3. Since P.E. promotes good health, team skills and healthy living,
                                                                                                    Very Strong!



              it should be mandatory to take P.E. from grades 8 to 12.

                                                                                                     Weak!




       Rationale:




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                                                                               Handout 3 (back)


       4. Students need to be educated about the benefits of physical
                                                                                        Very Strong!



              education, and the provincial government needs to mandate P.E.
              from grades 8 to 12.
                                                                                         Weak!




       Rationale:




       5. There are many reasons why physical education should be
                                                                                        Very Strong!



              mandatory.

                                                                                         Weak!




       Rationale:




       6. Since good nutrition and fitness are persistent problems among
                                                                                        Very Strong!



              adolescents today, physical education should be made
              mandatory from grades 8 to 12.
                                                                                         Weak!




       Rationale:




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                                                                                               Handout 3
                                                                                        Teacher Reference

                                                                 The Strength Tester
       Instructions: Using the criteria you have in Handout 2 on the qualities of a strong thesis
       statement, decide on the strength of each statement below. Colour the strong-man graphic to
       indicate how strong eacdh statement is. Provide a rationale for each decision.

       Thesis Statement                                                                 Strength
       1. There are some negative and positive aspects to making P.E.                               Very Strong!


              mandatory from grades 8 to 12.

                                                                                                     Weak!




       Rationale: Weak – doesn’t take a stand. The phrase “negative and positive aspects” make it
       vague.



       2. It is not a requirement in B.C. for students to take P.E. in                              Very Strong!



              grades 11 and 12.

                                                                                                     Weak!




       Rationale: Weak – a fact. Does not justify discussion. It is not debatable.




       3. Since P.E. promotes good health, team skills and healthy living,
                                                                                                    Very Strong!



              it should be mandatory to take P.E. from grades 8 to 12.

                                                                                                     Weak!




       Rationale: Strong – takes a stand. Justifies discussion because many people believe choice is
       important; specific.




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                                                                                             Handout 3
                                                                                    Teacher Reference


       4. Students need to be educated about the benefits of physical
                                                                                                 Very Strong!



              education, and the provincial government needs to mandate P.E.
              from grades 8 to 12.
                                                                                                  Weak!




       Rationale: Weak – expresses more than one main idea and they are not clearly connected.
       Confuses the reader. Cannot identify the author’s reasons for making the claim: Is the essay
       about educating students or making P.E. mandatory?



       5. There are many reasons why physical education should be
                                                                                                 Very Strong!



              mandatory.

                                                                                                  Weak!




       Rationale: Weak – not specific; vague. Does not tell readers exactly what the essay is about.
       The reader should be able to identify specific reason.



       6. Since good nutrition and fitness are persistent problems among
                                                                                                 Very Strong!



              adolescents today, physical education should be made
              mandatory from grades 8 to 12.
                                                                                                  Weak!




       Rationale: Strong – topic is specific and manageable. Reader can identify the author’s reasons
       for making the claim.




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                                                                                                       Overhead 1

                                                          Criteria for Thesis Statements
       Think about your understanding of the importance of a thesis statement (what you learned from
       Handout 1) and the big question being addressed in our essays (“How do our choices determine
       our well being?”). Using this information, elaborate on the “General Criteria” below by generating
       criteria that is specific to thesis statements.

                                    General Criteria
                                                                                   Specific Criteria
                       (Fully Meeting Expectations)



                               •      Purpose is clear




                               •       Has impact; fits
                                       purpose




                               •       Introduction
                                       clearly states
                                       purpose or thesis



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                                                                                                              Overhead 1
                                                                                                    Teacher Reference

                                                          Criteria for Thesis Statements
       Think about your understanding of the importance of a thesis statement (what you learned from
       Handout 1) and the big question being addressed in our essays (“How do our choices determine
       our well being?”). Using this information, elaborate on the “General Criteria” below by generating
       criteria that is specific to thesis statements.

                                    General Criteria
                                                                                     Specific Criteria
                       (Fully Meeting Expectations)
                                                                                 •   One sentence clearly states how our
                                                                                     choices are responsible for our well
                               •      Purpose is clear                               being.

                                                                                 •   The thesis statement tells the reader
                                                                                     the position that will be argued in the
                                                                                     essay.




                               •       Has impact; fits                          •   The thesis statement is well written.

                                       purpose                                   •   The language is clear, making it easy
                                                                                     for the reader to understand the
                                                                                     thesis.




                               •       Introduction
                                                                                 •   The first paragraph has one
                                       clearly states                                sentence that explains how our
                                                                                     choices can have a positive or
                                       purpose or thesis                             negative effect on our health and well
                                                                                     being.



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                                                                                                       Handout 4

                                                          Criteria for Thesis Statements
       Think about your understanding of the importance of a thesis statement (what you learned from
       Handout 1) and the big question being addressed in our essays (“How do our choices determine
       our well being?”). Using this information, elaborate on the “General Criteria” below by generating
       criteria that is specific to thesis statements.

                                    General Criteria
                                                                                   Specific Criteria
                       (Fully Meeting Expectations)



                               •      Purpose is clear




                               •       Has impact; fits
                                       purpose




                               •       Introduction
                                       clearly states
                                       purpose or thesis



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                                                                                                             Handout 5

                                                                 Writing Thesis Statements

       My Topic:


       Thesis Statement #1
                                                                                                                   Very Strong!




                                                                                                                    Weak!




       Thesis Statement #2
                                                                                                                   Very Strong!




                                                                                                                    Weak!




       Thesis Statement #3
                                                                                                                   Very Strong!




                                                                                                                    Weak!




                                  Student Assessment                                    Teacher Assessment

       My strongest Thesis Statement is #                                       takes a stand
                                                                                                                 STOP!
       because                                                                                                 Needs to be
                                                                                                                rewritten
                                                                                                              (note missing
                                                                                justifies discussion             criteria)
                                                                                                               CAUTION!
                                                                                                               Needs some
                                                                                                                 revision
                                                                                expresses one main idea       (note missing
                                                                                                                 criteria)
                                                                                                                  GO!
                                                                                                              Strong thesis
                                                                                focused and specific           statement



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                                                                                                    Unit 5
                                                                                                  Lesson 3




      Understanding Both Sides
                                               Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                 Meaning
                                                                 Style
                                                                 Form
                                                                 Conventions



       Lesson 3
       Learning Intentions:
                             prepare arguments for both sides of an issue (pro and con)
                             apply criteria for assessing the understanding of both sides of an issue
                             recognize mistakes, ambiguities and/or inconsistencies within ideas and
                             information
                             refute opposing arguments with supporting reasons and details



       Preparation:
                             copy Handout 1 (one per pair of students)
                             copy class sets of Handout 2




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       Lesson 3
       Understanding Both Sides
                                                                Details                                             Materials
       1. Build Background Knowledge: Identifying Both Sides of an Issue
              •       Once students have written and tested their thesis statements, tell them that
                      the next step is to begin preparing their arguments. This preparation begins
                      by understanding both sides: the pros and the cons of their thesis
                      statements. If students cannot make a solid case against their position, they
                      do not fully understand the many dimensions of their argument. “One
                      sidedness” is a weakness of many persuasive essays. The writers only
                      understand one side of the issue – their side. Any issue worth considering
                      always has two sides – pro and con. Usually, the evidence for both sides is
                      about equal, and what we are left with is our preference for one side or the
                      other.
              •       With the whole class, brainstorm debatable topics/concepts/issues. See
                      Teacher Reference 1. As students identify topics, ask them to identify both                Teacher Reference 1
                      sides of the arguments. For example, if someone suggests “chocolate” as a
                      topic, ensure that the class understands that:
                                    A. Some people believe that dark chocolate is good for us because
                                            of various health benefits (lower blood pressure, lower levels of
                                            “bad cholesterol”, and increased antioxidant levels).
                                    B. Other people believe that chocolate is not beneficial because
                                            when combined with other foods, there is little evidence that
                                            chocolate raises antioxidant levels in the blood stream or that it
                                            has any other health benefits.


       2. Introduce the Concept: Developing Both Sides
              •       Explain to students that when preparing their arguments they need to not
                      only identify both sides of their arguments, but also develop both sides of
                      their arguments. Distribute Handout 1. Discuss the specific criteria related               Handout 1
                      to “developing both sides” of an argument
              •       Tell the class that you are going to provide them with an opportunity to apply
                      the criteria they generated while engaging them in a “fun” activity that
                      encourages them to role-play two different perspectives.
              •       Count students off as A’s and B’s. A’s pair off with B’s. If there is an odd
                      number then have two A’s work together.



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              •       Distribute one copy of Handout 2 to each pair. Students follow directions on         Handout 2
                      handout.
              •       When pairs have finished developing pro and con arguments for their chosen
                      quotes have them play a quick game of “Rock, Paper, Scissors” to determine who
                      will represent the speaker of the quote (Pro) and who will represent the opposing
                      view (Con). Students may be themselves if representing the opposing view or
                      they may represent a well-known figure (Rick Hansen, Queen Elizabeth II,
                      Harry Potter, etc)
              •       Students pair up with other pairs and present their arguments in role. Using the
                      criteria from Handout 1, students provide each other with oral feedback after
                      each pair complete their role-play.
              •       Ask a few pairs to repeat their role-plays for the whole class. Using the criteria
                      generated in class, discuss why the criteria was “met” or “not met.”


       3. Teacher Models – Developing Both Sides
              •       Before directing students to develop the arguments related to their thesis
                      statements, model the process on the Overhead 1. Using the same thesis               Overhead 1
                      statement developed in previous lessons (If left to individuals, most students
                      wouldn’t make choices that promote well-being; therefore, P.E. should be
                      mandatory from grades 8 to 12.), show students how to logically progress from
                      understanding their arguments, to understanding the opposing arguments, and
                      finally to refuting the opposing arguments. For a guide, see Teacher Reference       Teacher Reference 2
                      2.


       4. Independent Writing Practice: Point- Counter Point Assignment
              •       Distribute Handout 3. Students follow the same teacher-modelled process              Handout 3
                      above and develop the arguments and counter-arguments connected to their
                      thesis statements.
              •       Students assess their arguments using the criteria in Handout 1.




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                                                                Teacher Reference1




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                                                                                        Handout 1

                                                    Developing Both Sides of an Issue

                                                   FULLY MEETS EXPECTATIONS


      General Criteria

             •       logically developed with relevant details and examples




      Specific Criteria

             •       The argument recognizes that there are two sides to the issue
                     (pro and con).

             •       It’s clear to the audience/reader that the author understands
                     both sides of the issue.

             •       The author addresses the inconsistencies or mistakes in the logic
                     of the opposing argument.

             •       Clearly articulated reasons and details support the argument.

             •       The audience feels that the argument has merit, that it is more
                     accurate or complete than the opposing argument.




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                                                                                                            Handout 2

                                                                The Great Debate – Not!
       With your partner, select one of the following quotations. As a pair, develop arguments that
       support (Pro) and oppose (Con) the quotation. You have five minutes to brainstorm both sides.

              •       Being popular is the most important thing in the world. (Homer Simpson)
              •       The only rule is don’t be boring and dress cute wherever you go. (Paris Hilton)
              •       I definitely believe in plastic surgery. I don’t want to be an old hag. (ScarlettJohansson)
              •       Twenty-three is old. It’s almost twenty-five, which is, like, almost mid twenties. (Jessica Simpson)
              •       I like being a minor because you can’t get into trouble. (Avril Lavigne)


                                                  PRO                                     CON




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                                                                                                          Overhead 1

                                                                Point – Counter Point

       Thesis Statement:


                                                                                        Mistakes or Inconsistencies in
            My Reasons/Arguments                                   Opposing Arguments    the Logic of the Opposing
                                                                                                 Arguments




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                                                                                                                 Teacher Reference 2

                                                                Point – Counter Point

       Thesis Statement: If left to individuals, most students wouldn’t make choices that promote
       well-being; therefore, P.E. should be mandatory from grades 8 to 12.

                                                                                                      Mistakes or Inconsistencies in
            My Reasons/Arguments                                     Opposing Arguments                 the Logic of the Opposing
                                                                                                                 Arguments
       People who exercise have                                  Taking a gym class isn’t going       The purpose of PE is not to
       fewer health problems.                                    to make people healthy.              get a person in shape or to
                                                                                                      make them healthy, but to give
                                                                                                      them the knowledge and skills
                                                                                                      to be healthier.


       P.E. provides students with                               Many students dislike                Playing team sports builds
       exposure to a variety of team                             traditional team sports. They        interpersonal skills (co-
       sports, skills, and life-long                             don’t care if they learn how to      operation & communication)
       activities that they can                                  play basketball or volleyball        that are valuable employable
       continue to use and enjoy long                            because they know that after         traits. When playing team
       after they are out of school.                             they are finished school they        sports, success doesn’t
                                                                 will never use these skills or       necessarily mean winning the
                                                                 play the games again.                game. Success can be defined
                                                                                                      by being a supportive,
                                                                                                      encouraging team mate.


       Active people have healthier                              People know that exercise is         By taking PE every year,
       life styles.                                              good for them, but people are        students come to understand
                                                                 busy. With the demands of            the benefits of physical fitness
                                                                 work and family, it’s difficult to   in their daily lives. If we can
                                                                 find the time to exercise.           change attitudes and
                                                                                                      behaviours, we may have fewer
                                                                                                      sick people saying, “ I wish I
                                                                                                      had taken better care of
                                                                                                      myself.”


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                                                                                                           Handout 3

                                                                Point – Counter Point
       Thesis Statement:


                                                                                        Mistakes or Inconsistencies in
            My Reasons/Arguments                                   Opposing Arguments    the Logic of the Opposing
                                                                                                 Arguments




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                                                                                                     Unit 5
                                                                                                Lesson 4




Building a Case
                                        Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                  Meaning
                                                                  Style
                                                                  Form
                                                                  Conventions



Lesson 4
Learning Intentions:
                      identify different types of evidence
                      apply criteria for assessing the effectiveness of supporting evidence
                      discuss the qualities of effective and ineffective evidence
                      determine the persuasiveness of various claims based on the reliability of the
                      supporting evidence
                      research essay topics to locate and select effective and reliable supporting
                      evidence
                      organize the evidence gathered in outline form
                      write the body of an essay using gathered evidence


Preparation:
                      copy class sets of Handouts 1,2,3,7,8 & 9
                      copy Handouts 4,5 & 6 (one per every group of 3-4 students)
                      reserve library time (1-2 class periods)



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Lesson 4
Building a Case
                                                                  Details                           Materials
1. Build Background Knowledge: Types of Evidence
       •      Once students have an understanding of both sides of the issues they are
              addressing in their essays, they need to use evidence to help strengthen their
              thesis statements. To support their arguments, they can use different types
              of evidence. Distribute and talk to Handout 1.                                     Handout 1
       •      Distribute Handout 2. Students identify types of evidence. With the class,         Handout 2 & Teacher
              discuss each example                                                               Reference


2. Introduce the Concept: Critically Evaluating Evidence
       •      Explain to students that in order to persuade readers of the validity of their
              arguments, writers must support their thesis statements with solid, reliable
              evidence. Any related fact, example or quote, however, is not sufficient.
              Writers must critically evaluate the effectiveness of the evidence they select
              to support their positions. Distribute Handout 3. Discuss the criteria for         Handout 3
              effective use of evidence.
       •      Place students in groups of 3-4. Explain that in the next activity they are
              going to examine the effectiveness of evidence in three different ads. Since
              these are ads and not essays, not all of the criteria outlined in Handout 3 will
              apply to the ads. Regardless, students can still use these criteria to guide
              them in determining the overall effectiveness and reliability of the ads.
       •      Distribute copies of three different ads (Handouts 4, 5, 6) to each group (1       Handouts 4,5,6
              set per group). Using Overhead 1, explain the task to students.                    Overhead 1


3. Teacher Models: Critically Evaluating Evidence
       •      Distribute Handout 7, the graphic organizer students will use to complete the      Handout 7
              task outlined in Overhead 1.
       •      Before directing groups to complete the task, think out loud as you model the
              process using Overhead 2 with the old patent medicine ad, Rhinoceros Horn          Overhead 2 & Teacher
              Elixir. Invite students to contribute ideas throughout the process. See            Reference
              Overhead 2 Teacher Reference for a sample critique/assessment of the ad.




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4. Group Practice: Critically Evaluating Evidence
       •      Direct students to continue critiquing the remaining ads (Spa La-Dee-Da
              and Pollution is Killing Us) in their small groups. Students record their
              thinking on Handout 7.                                                              Handout 7 Teacher
       •      As a class, discuss the differences and effectiveness of each of the ads. See       Reference
              Handout 7 Teacher Reference


5. Independent Practice: Selecting Reliable Evidence
       •      Provide students with time to research their essay topics in the library. Using
              books, magazines, newspaper articles, reports, and the Internet, students
              search for and select reliable evidence that is specific to the thesis statements
              they are developing in their essays. Students record the information they
              gather on Handout 8.                                                                Handout 8


6. Follow-Up Activities
       •      Students draft the “body” of their essays using :
              a) The evidence gathered in the library (i.e., information from Handout 8)
              b) The counter arguments they addressed and refuted in the previous
                      lesson (Unit 5, Lesson 3, Handout 3 “Point-Counter Point”).
       •      Refer students to Handout 9 for an example of how to structure a paragraph          Handout 9
              using evidence that supports and contradicts their arguments/reasons.
              Discuss the sample paragraph, noting its method of development.
       •      Students assess their body paragraphs using the criteria outlined in
              Handout 10.                                                                         Handout 10




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                                                                                      Handout 1

                                                                  Types of Evidence

Evidence is the information that a writer uses to support his or her thesis statement.
This information may be obtained from magazines, newspaper articles, books,
reports, interviews, and the Internet.



      Facts
              • specific, accurate information that can be proven to be true


      Statistics
              • numerical data (numbers) which support and illustrate a position or
                     thesis


      Opinions
              • the beliefs of others which support and illustrate a position or thesis


      Quotes
              • direct statements from leading experts or informed citizens


      Examples
              • specific descriptions of events or situations that illustrate a position or
                     thesis


      Anecdotes
              • very brief stories that demonstrate and support a position or thesis




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                                                                                                       Handout 2

                                                        Evidence – What Type Is It?


Vancouver is one of the most beautiful                                In the average Canadian household, the
cities in the world.                                                  television is on for seven hours a day.




To demonstrate the ineffectiveness of                                 Awakened by his barking dog, Jarred
fad diets, the evening news featured                                  quickly jumped out of bed. To his shock
Selina, a 32 year old woman, who lost                                 and surprise, he noticed flames engulfing
and gained back 55 pounds on 12                                       his home. He grabbed his dog and the
different diets.                                                      two narrowly escaped. It’s no wonder
                                                                      that we claim that dogs are man’s best
                                                                      friend.




Some public schools in BC are                                         School becomes more difficult each
beginning to institute dress codes.                                   year.




According to psychologist, Callum                                     Due to severe winter storms, in 2006
James, “The notion of a family meal as a                              many trees in Stanley Park were
sit-down occasion is vanishing. Most                                  uprooted and destroyed.
families eat on the go.”




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                                                                                                   Teacher Reference 2

                                                        Evidence – What Type Is It?


Vancouver is one of the most beautiful                                      In the average Canadian household, the
cities in the world.                                                        television is on for seven hours a day.

                                                                  Opinion                           Statistic


To demonstrate the ineffectiveness of                                       Awakened by his barking dog, Jarred
fad diets, the evening news featured                                        quickly jumped out of bed. To his shock
Selina, a 32 year old woman, who lost                                       and surprise, he noticed flames engulfing
and gained back 55 pounds on 12                                             his home. He grabbed his dog and the
different diets.                                                            two narrowly escaped. It’s no wonder
                                                                            that we claim that dogs are man’s best
                                                                  Example
                                                                            friend.

                                                                                                          Anecdote


Some public schools in BC are                                               School becomes more difficult each
beginning to institute dress codes.                                         year.

                                                                  Fact                                    Opinion


According to psychologist, Callum                                           Due to severe winter storms, in 2006
James, “The notion of a family meal as a                                    many trees in Stanley Park were
sit-down occasion is vanishing. Most                                        uprooted and destroyed.
families eat on the go.”
                                                                                                          Fact
                                                                  Quote



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                                                                                             Handout 3

                                                                  Effective Evidence

                                            FULLY MEETS EXPECTATIONS

   M
   E                 General Criteria
   A
    N                        •      logically developed with relevant details and examples
     I
    N                        •      accurate and complete information; well integrated
   G




Specific Criteria

         •    The evidence and the thesis are clearly connected.

         •    The evidence is not merely stated; it is explained to show how it supports
              the thesis. The writer discusses and comments on the evidence immediately
              after presenting it, thus allowing the reader to see the connection between
              the evidence and the writer’s point.

         •    The evidence is varied. It may consist of:
                     o facts
                     o statistics
                     o opinions
                     o quotes
                     o examples
                     o anecdotes

         •    The evidence is reliable. (i.e., accurate, from experts and authorities in the
              field, current, substantial).

         •    The evidence is smoothly integrated into the essay. For example, the writer
              may use “lead-in phrases” to introduce the evidence (As Jane Elliott
              states in her book…).

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                                                                                                                                   Handout 4




                     Rhinoceros Horn Elixir expels disease by supplying the                testimonials
                     blood with a vitalizing agent that acts upon the liver         Dear Dr Clarke,             Dear Dr Clarke,
                     and kidney. It is the only remedy on record that               My disease of the           Your treatment has
                     positively cures:                                              stomach has been            successfully restored my
                     Consumption                                  Dyspepsia         cured, and my manly         health. For the first
                     Bronchitis                                   Jaundice          strength has returned.      time in 15 years, my
                     Wind                                         Restlessness      I would not be              cheeks are plump and
                     Malaria                                      Indiscretion      without Rhinoceros          flushed with the soft
                     Biliousness                                  Gout              Horn Elixir.                glow of health.
                     Constipation                                 Rheumatic Fever
                     Pain                                         Chills                Milton Fisk                 Virginia Dinsmore
                     Lost Appetite                                Nervousness
                     Heart Disease                                                  Dear Dr Clarke,
                                                                                    I would not be without
                                                                                    your Rhinoceros Horn
                                                                                    Elixir. It has cured my
                                                                                    night sweats and my
                                                                                    irritation of the nerves.
                                                                                        Mrs. Craddock




                           One bottle will satisfy the most
                        skeptical. 25¢ bottle. Sold by your local
                                         druggist.




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                                                                                                      Handout 5



                indulge                                           rejuvenate




                                                                                                 escape
                                    live




                                 fÑt _t@Wxx@Wt
                                              many problems ... one solution

                                                 2588 Relaxation Repose, Vancouver, BC V6J 4X5
                                                                  604.666.4321

                                                                   www.spa-la-dee-da.com

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                                                                 Handout 6




    Reprinted with permission from the David Suzuki Foundation



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                                                                      294
                                                                             Overhead 1

                                                                 Prove It!

 Discussion Guide

 In your small groups, compare the three ads. Use the following questions to guide
 your discussion.

         • What claims/promises do the ads make?

         • Who is the intended audience?

         • What types of evidence are used to support the claims?

         • What are the ad writers’ perceptions of their audience?

         • Which ad is most effective? Why?

         • Which ad is least effective? Why?




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                                                                                                                                            Handout 7

                                                                               Prove It!

     Rhinoceros Horn Elixir                                             Spa La-Dee-Da                                Pollution Is Killing Us

 Claim:                                                          Claim:                                          Claim:




    Persuasiveness of               Reliability of Evidence        Persuasiveness of   Reliability of Evidence     Persuasiveness of   Reliability of Evidence
         Claim                                                          Claim                                           Claim

       Not                                        Not Reliable         Not                        Not Reliable         Not                        Not Reliable
 Persuasive                                                      Persuasive                                      Persuasive
 Somewhat                                         Questionable   Somewhat                         Questionable   Somewhat                         Questionable
 Persuasive                                                      Persuasive                                      Persuasive
 Persuasive                                       Reliable       Persuasive                       Reliable       Persuasive                       Reliable




                                                             is most effective because

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                                                                                                                                          Overhead 2

                                                                               Prove It!

     Rhinoceros Horn Elixir                                             Spa La-Dee-Da                                Pollution Is Killing Us

 Claim:                                                          Claim:                                          Claim:




    Persuasiveness of               Reliability of Evidence        Persuasiveness of   Reliability of Evidence     Persuasiveness of   Reliability of Evidence
         Claim                                                          Claim                                           Claim

       Not                                        Not Reliable         Not                        Not Reliable         Not                        Not Reliable
 Persuasive                                                      Persuasive                                      Persuasive
 Somewhat                                         Questionable   Somewhat                         Questionable   Somewhat                         Questionable
 Persuasive                                                      Persuasive                                      Persuasive
 Persuasive                                       Reliable       Persuasive                       Reliable       Persuasive                       Reliable



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                                                                                                                                          Overhead 2

                                                                               Prove It!                                         Teacher Reference


     Rhinoceros Horn Elixir                                             Spa La-Dee-Da                                Pollution Is Killing Us

 Claim: Rhinoceros Horn                                          Claim:                                          Claim:
 Elixir cures a variety of
 ailments

 •       Claim is directly stated
 •       “Tells” audience its claim
         through print/text
 •       Appeal is somewhat
         scientific; explains how the
         drug works
 •       Claim is supported by
         testimonials, opinions,
         statistics
 •       Language is dated and
         inflated
 •       Writers assume that audience
         is “weak” and “feeble” and
         physically ill




     Persuasiveness of              Reliability of Evidence        Persuasiveness of   Reliability of Evidence     Persuasiveness of   Reliability of Evidence
          Claim                                                         Claim                                           Claim

       Not                                        Not Reliable         Not                        Not Reliable         Not                        Not Reliable
 Persuasive                                                      Persuasive                                      Persuasive
 Somewhat                                         Questionable   Somewhat                         Questionable   Somewhat                         Questionable
 Persuasive                                                      Persuasive                                      Persuasive
 Persuasive                                       Reliable       Persuasive                       Reliable       Persuasive                       Reliable




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                                                                                                                                                Handout 7

                                                                                 Prove It!                                           Teacher Reference

     Rhinoceros Horn Elixir                                               Spa La-Dee-Da                                 Pollution Is Killing Us

 Claim: Rhinoceros Horn                                          Claim: A visit to Spa La-                         Claim: Pollution is killing us
 Elixir cures a variety of                                       Dee-Da is beneficial to one’s
 ailments                                                        mental health

 •       Claim is directly stated                                •      Claim is implied                           •      Claim is directly stated
 •       “Tells” audience its claim                              •      “Shows” audience its claim                 •      “Shows and tells” its
         through print/text                                             through visual examples                           audience that fossil fuels are
 •       Appeal is somewhat                                      •      Appeal is emotional                               responsible for premature
         scientific; explains how the                                                                                     deaths
                                                                 •      Claim is supported through
         drug works                                                     implications of unlimited                  •      Appeal is emotional and
 •       Claim is supported by                                          possibilities                                     rational.
         testimonials, opinions,                                 •      Language is minimal                        •      Claim is supported by visual
         statistics                                                                                                       example, facts, statistics,
                                                                 •      Writers assume that audience
 •       Language is dated and                                                                                            authority figures (David
                                                                        is physically well, but seeking
         inflated                                                                                                         Suzuki), and the Canadian
                                                                        peace of mind
                                                                                                                          government
 •       Writers assume that audience
         is “weak” and “feeble” and                                                                                •      Language is minimal
         physically ill                                                                                            •      Writers assume audience is
                                                                                                                          intelligent, environmentally
                                                                                                                          conscious individuals who
                                                                                                                          have the power and will to act

     Persuasiveness of              Reliability of Evidence          Persuasiveness of   Reliability of Evidence       Persuasiveness of   Reliability of Evidence
          Claim                                                           Claim                                             Claim

       Not                                        Not Reliable         Not                          Not Reliable         Not                          Not Reliable
 Persuasive                                                      Persuasive                                        Persuasive
 Somewhat                                         Questionable   Somewhat                           Questionable   Somewhat                           Questionable
 Persuasive                                                      Persuasive                                        Persuasive
 Persuasive                                       Reliable       Persuasive                         Reliable       Persuasive                         Reliable




 Pollution Is Killing Us is most effective because the method
 of persuasion (evidence used) is most reliable

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                                                                                       Handout 8

                                                         Information Gathering Sheet

 THESIS STATEMENT




 REASON #1




 Evidence:




 Source(s)




 REASON #2




 Evidence:




 Source(s)



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                                                                 Handout 8 (pg 2)




 REASON #3




 Evidence:




 Source(s)




 REASON #4




 Evidence:




 Source(s)




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                                                                                                  Handout 9


                                               The “Body” of a Persuasive Essay

 The first paragraph of an essay is called the introduction, the last
                                                                                     INTRODUCTION
 paragraph is called the conclusion; and the paragraphs in the middle                 states the thesis
 are called the body. The paragraphs in the body of an essay contain
 the evidence that supports your thesis statement. There is no set                          BODY
 formula for the number of paragraphs you should have in the body of                  supports the thesis
 your essay; it depends on the number of “reasons” or arguments that                    with evidence
                                                                                       (facts, statistics,
 you have identified. For example, if you have four reasons with                       opinions, quotes,
 evidence to support each, then you will likely have four paragraphs in                   examples,
                                                                                          anecdotes)
 the body of the essay (these four paragraphs do not include the
 introductory or concluding paragraphs). Each reason becomes the
 main idea of the paragraph you are developing.                                        CONCLUSION
                                                                                     reinforces the thesis


 Paragraph Structure

 The following structure is one method that you could use when writing each of the paragraphs in
 the body of your essay. In other words, repeat this structure for each body paragraph:




                           •      State one of your reasons.
                           •      Present evidence that supports your reason.
                           •      Elaborate on the evidence, making the
                                  connection between your thesis and reason clear.
                           •      Present evidence that contradicts your reason.
                           •      Refute the contradictory evidence.




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                                                                                                Handout 9 (pg 2)

 Sample Paragraph
                                                                                                      Intro


 Thesis Statement: If left to individuals, most students wouldn’t make choices
                                                                                                      Body
  that promote well-being; therefore, P.E. should be mandatory from grades 8 to 12.

                                                                                                    Conclusion
 Reason 1: People who exercise have fewer health problems.


                Exercise is a key factor that is beneficial to an individual’s         State one of your
 overall health. Students who exercise routinely are preventing the                    reasons.
 liklihood of developing serious health problems as adults.
 Maintaining a fitness routine increases mobility, protects against
                                                                                       Present evidence that
 bone loss, and reduces stress levels. Research has shown that                         supports your reason.
 people who exercise are less likely to develop heart disease, high
 blood pressure, and high cholesterol levels (Canadian Heart and
 Stroke Foundation, 2006). To experience the benefits associated
 with exercise, experts recommend that teens participate in moderate
 to high intensity exercise activities five times a week (Deriso, 2006).
 Developing Olympian-in-training exercise routines for adolescents
 is not the goal here, but such findings clearly speak to the necesitty
                                                                                       Elaborate on the
 of developing physical education programs for all high school
                                                                                       evidence, making the
 students.                Any kind of physical education class that gets kids
                                                                                       connection between
 moving is worthwhile because of the potential long-range health
                                                                                       your thesis & reason
 implications. Structured school programs that promote physical
                                                                                       clear.
 fitness and exercise at a young age can ultimately result in the
 prevention of medical conditions which                          begin in childhood;
 therefore, educators have a responsibility to mandate physical
 education in our schools. Some students may argue that one P.E.                       Present evidence that
 class a year is not going to make them healthy, but the purpose of                    contradicts your reason.
 P.E. is not to get people in shape or to instantly make them healthy.                 Refute the
 Rather, it is to give them the knowledge and skills to be healthier.                  contradictory evidence.




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                                                                                              Handout 10

                            Criteria for “The Body” of a Persuasive Essay

                                             FULLY MEETS EXPECTATIONS

     F
    O                  General Criteria
     R                        •       logically organized and sequenced; varies transitions
    M




 Specific Criteria

        •       Each reason that supports the thesis is developed into a single paragraph.

        •       At least two paragraphs make up the body of the essay.

        •       The main idea of each paragraph (the reason) is stated close to the
                beginning of the paragraph.

        •       Each main idea/reason is supported with effective and reliable evidence
                (see Criteria for Effective Evidence – Handout 3)

        •       Contradictory evidence is addressed and refuted.

        •       The transitions (linking words, phrases, connections) between the
                sentences and paragraphs make the writing flow and help the reader follow
                the essay’s argument.




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                                                                                                      Unit 5
                                                                                                 Lesson 5




              Writing Engaging Introductions
                                              Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                  Meaning
                                                                  Style
                                                                  Form
                                                                  Conventions



     Lesson 5
     Learning Intentions:
                            examine various examples of engaging introductions
                            generate criteria for engaging introductions
                            write an introduction to their essay
                            peer and self-assess the introduction using criteria generated in class



     Preparation:
                            cue two short movie clips (see “Teacher Reference – Movie Clips” for
                            further information)
                            copy class sets of Handouts 1-7




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     Lesson 5
     Writing Engaging Introductions
                                                                  Details                                      Materials
     1. Access and Build Background Knowledge: Engaging the Audience
             Note: Prior to the lesson, refer to “Teacher Reference – Movie Clips” to prepare              Teacher Reference -
             for the first activity.                                                                       “Movie Clips”
             •      Split students into groups (5 students in each group).
             •      Tell students that the word “engaging” is used to describe an introduction
                    that “fully meets” in the Performance Standards. What does it mean to
                    “engage” someone’s attention? What might this look like?
             •      Explain that before students work on writing essay introductions, they will
                    have an opportunity to access and build background knowledge for what
                    constitutes an engaging introduction on film. Students will then apply what
                    they already know and what they learned from this activity when they write
                    their introduction at the end of the lesson.
             •      Distribute Handout 1. As students view the first film clip, invite them to             Handout 1 –
                    brainstorm responses with their group.                                                 Two movie clips
             •      Have groups share their thinking with the whole class.                                 (teacher’s choice)
             •      Repeat the process with the second clip.
             •      Debrief with the class, noting the different ways the films engaged the audience’s
                    attention.


     2. Introduce the Concept: Criteria for Engaging Introductions
             •      Explain to students that when the purpose of a film or a piece of writing is to
                    entertain the audience, it is crucial to engage them. Similarly, when the purpose
                    is to persuade an audience, it is essential to engage them from the start, or they
                    will not read on.
             •      Distribute Handout 2 and remind students of the criteria from the Performance          Handout 2
                    Standards (see Overhead 1). This criteria provides the foundation for writing          Overhead 1
                    introductions. However, more descriptive criteria will offer them explicit ideas and
                    approaches to writing an engaging, powerful introduction.
             •      Tell students that they are going to generate some criteria and identify ways to
                    write powerful, engaging introductions to their essays through an activity called
                    Ready, Set, Jet!




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                                                                  Details                                   Materials
             •      Just as the films demonstrated there are different ways to engage an audience,
                    so too are there different approaches when writing introductions. Ready, Set,
                    Jet! gives students an opportunity to read five different approaches to writing an
                    effective opening: anecdote; quotation; news; background; announcement.
                    Students will be able to add on to Handout 2 following this activity.


     3. Teacher Models Process: Identifying Criteria
             •      Distribute Handout 3. In their groups, each student signs up for a different         Handout 3
                    destination.
             •      Tell students that for the next activity, Ready, Set, Jet, they will be completing
                    some tasks in their current “home” group (“Pre Travels” and “Post Travels”),
                    while others will be completed at their travel destination (“During Travels”).
             •      Explain that you will model the “Pre Travels” tasks before giving them the
                    materials (i.e. Handouts 4 and 5) that they will need to complete the activity.
             •      Using Overhead 2 and Teacher Reference, model the “Pre Travels” process              Overhead 2 + Teacher
                    for students, being explicit in your thinking.                                       Reference

     4. Group Practice: Generating Criteria
             •      Distribute Handout 4 and 5. Go over the tasks from each of the three sections        Handout 4
                    on Handout 4 and explain how, at the signal, students will move from their home      Handout 5
                    groups to their destination groups, and then back home.
             •      Assign each group one introduction from Handout 5.                                   Destination Signs
             •      Students complete their “Pre-Travels”, place the “Destination Signs”                 (Handouts 6A-E)
                    (Handout 6A-E) on different tables. When students are ready, signal them to
                    move to their travel destination where they complete the “During Travels” tasks.
             •      NOTE: Refer to Handout 5 Teacher Reference for guidelines on the                     Handout 5 + Teacher
                    different approach for each of the introductory paragraphs.                          Reference
             •      To debrief the activity, refer back to Overhead 1 (“Building on the Performance      Overhead 1
                    Standards”). (Students will have already generated some criteria as required on
                    their “Post Travels” section.) Record student-generated criteria on the overhead
                    as students share their learning.

     5. Independent Practice: Writing an Engaging Introduction
             •      Distribute Handout 7. Using the criteria identified in class, students draft an      Handout 7
                    introduction to their essay.
             •      Students staple Handout 2 (Criteria) to the front of their draft so either the       Handout 2
                    teacher or a peer can highlight criteria and offer feedback to the student before
                    moving on to the next lesson.




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                                                                                                Teacher Reference
                                                                                                      “Movie Clips”


     Access and Build Background Knowledge: Engaging the Audience

     Purpose

     The purpose of this activity is to have students generate criteria for what constitutes an engaging
     introduction on film. This is intended to provide students with an opportunity to access and build
     background knowledge prior to completing a similar exercise using essay introductions later in the
     lesson.


     Preparation

             1. Select two different films you consider highly effective in hooking and engaging the
                    audience. Ideally, the films would be very different in style and tone. This will help illustrate
                    that there are many different ways to engage an audience. For example:
                            •      setting a tone (e.g. intrigue and mystery)
                            •      laugh-out-loud humour
                            •      creating a sense of confusion and wonder
                            •      invoking fear
                            •      disbelief and shock
                            •      violence and/or action
                            •      intense, romantic dialogue
                            •      other…


             2. Prepare a short segment from the beginning of the film (approx. 5 minutes). Keep the time
                    short as this is to parallel an essay’s introductory paragraph.


             3. Have students view the two film clips using Handout 1 as a guideline for class discussion.




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                                                                                                                      Handout 1
                                                                    Engaging the Audience

     Film Title #1:




                                                          How does this film engage the viewer in the first
                                                                           few minutes?




     Film Title #2:




                                                                  How does this film engage the viewer in the first
                                                                                   few minutes?




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                                                                                                                 Handout 2
     Student Name:



                                     Generating Criteria for an Engaging Introduction


    I.             Performance Standards: Essays and Opinion

                  Aspect                         Not Yet Within        Minimally Meets    Fully Meets       Exceeds
     II. Building on the Performance Standards…
       Form
                beginning,                              introduction      introduction     introduction     introduction
                middle and                              is not            states simple    clearly states   catches
                end                                     engaging;         thesis or        purpose or       attention;
                                                        may omit          purpose;         thesis;          offers well-
                                                        purpose or        attempts to      engages          developed
                                                        thesis            engage the       reader           thesis
                                                        statement         reader




    II.            Performance Standards: Essays and Opinions (Fully Meets or Exceeds)




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                                                                                                                Overhead 1
                                     Generating Criteria for an Engaging Introduction


    I.             Performance Standards: Essays and Opinions

                  Aspect                         Not Yet Within        Minimally Meets    Fully Meets       Exceeds
     II. Building on the Performance Standards…
       Form
                beginning,                              introduction      introduction     introduction     introduction
                middle and                              is not            states simple    clearly states   catches
                end                                     engaging;         thesis or        purpose or       attention;
                                                        may omit          purpose;         thesis;          offers well-
                                                        purpose or        attempts to      engages          developed
                                                        thesis            engage the       reader           thesis
                                                        statement         reader




    II.            Performance Standards: Essays and Opinions (Fully Meets or Exceeds)




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                                                                                         Handout 3
     Ready, Set, Jet

     Home Group Members:

                    1.
                    2.
                    3.
                    4.
                    5.



     #1 Taj Mahal                                                 #2 African Safari




     Student:                                                     Student:
     #3 Australian Surf                                           #4 Egyptian Pyramids




     Student:                                                     Student:
     #5 Eiffel Tower




     Student:


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                                                                                                                      Overhead 2
     Ready, Set, Jet




        Pre-Travels (at home)…

                       1. Read your assigned introduction
                                      Eubie Blake, an American songwriter once said, “If I’d known I was gonna live this
                                      long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” This thought undoubtedly occurs to many
                                      older people who, when faced with declining health, find themselves reflective on a
                                      lifetime of not taking care of their bodies. One of the more important aspects of taking
                                      care of one’s health is maintaining a physically active lifestyle. The foundation for an
                                      active life is laid in school P.E. classes where young people learn the importance and
                                      joy of exercise and the many ways to stay physically fit. For this reason, P.E. should
                                      be mandatory from grades 8 to 12.

                       2. Which description best describes the approach used in this introduction (check
                          one):
                                            Anecdote: a brief story that distills the essence of the topic
                                            Quotation: borrowed words that exemplify the purpose of the essay
                                            News: the reader is privileged with information that answers some of the
                                            “Five W’s” (Who? What? Where? When? Why?)
                                            Background: offers a brief and concise history of the issue
                                            Announcement: tells the reader the purpose of the essay – with an attitude!

                       3. Generate criteria that identify how the introduction is powerful and engaging. Are
                          there ways in which it could be improved?




       Adapted from: Atwell, N. (2002). Lessons That Change Writers, Portsmouth: Heinemann.

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                                                                                                                       Overhead 2
                                                                                                              Teacher Reference
     Ready, Set, Jet



        Pre-Travels (at home)…

                       1. Read your assigned introduction
                                      Eubie Blake, an American songwriter once said, “If I’d known I was gonna live this
                                      long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” This thought undoubtedly occurs to many
                                      older people who, when faced with declining health, find themselves reflective on a
                                      lifetime of not taking care of their bodies. One of the more important aspects of taking
                                      care of one’s health is maintaining a physically active lifestyle. The foundation for an
                                      active life is laid in school P.E. classes where young people learn the importance and
                                      joy of exercise and the many ways to stay physically fit. For this reason, P.E. should
                                      be mandatory from grades 8 to 12.

                       2. Which description best describes the approach used in this introduction (check
                          one):
                                Anecdote: a brief story that distills the essence of the topic
                                Quotation: borrowed words that exemplify the purpose of the essay
                                News: the reader is privileged with information that answers some of the
                                “Five W’s” (Who? What? Where? When? Why?)
                                Background: offers a brief and concise history of the issue
                                Announcement: tells the reader the purpose of the essay – with an attitude!

                       3. Generate criteria that identify how the introduction is powerful and engaging. Are
                          there ways in which it could be improved?
                                     Starting off with a quote helps to grab the readers’ attention
                                     Thesis statement is strong – it takes a stand; the position is clear, but it is arguable;
                                     there is one main idea only; the topic is manageable (not too big) (Refer back to
                                     Handout 2, Lesson 2)
                                     The sentences and ideas flow one to the next – the paragraph stays focussed.
                                     Information moves from general (quote) to specific (thesis statement) – this helps to
                                     focus the reader’s attention.

       Adapted from: Atwell, N. (2002). Lessons That Change Writers, Portsmouth: Heinemann.

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                                                                                                        Handout 4
     Ready, Set, Jet



        Pre-Travels (at home)…
                       1. Read your assigned introduction (see Handout 5).
                       2. Which description best describes the approach used in this introduction?
                            • Anecdote: a brief story that distills the essence of the topic
                            • Quotation: borrowed words that exemplify the purpose of the essay
                            • News: the reader is privileged with information that answers some of the
                                “Five W’s” (Who? What? Where? When? Why?)
                            • Background: offers a brief and concise history of the issue
                            • Announcement: tells the reader the purpose of the essay – with an attitude!

                       3. Generate criteria that identify how the introduction is powerful and engaging. Are
                          there ways in which it could be improved?



        During Travels… (at your destination)
                       1. At the signal, look for your destination sign and move to that table.
                       2. The purpose of your travels is to meet with others who have read different
                          examples of powerful and engaging introductions. At your destination, each
                          person will share their own example, and their home group’s thinking. Jot down
                          some notes and prepare to share your learning when you return home to your
                          group.



        Post Travels… (back home)
                       1. Have a quick sharing out of the information each person learned
                          during their travels. Each person should have criteria for every paragraph.
                       2. Return to Handout 2. Add some criteria for Engaging Introductions. Be
                          prepared to share with the class.


       Adapted from: Atwell, N. (2002). Lessons That Change Writers, Portsmouth: Heinemann.

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                                                                                                        Handout 5
     Ready, Set, Jet
     Five Approaches to Powerful and Engaging Introductions

     NOTE: Each introduction addresses the same topic and purpose:
     To persuade the audience that our choices affect our health and well-being.


        Introduction #1                                                               Criteria

                       Since the beginning of the Industrial Revolution,
        the concentrations of many greenhouse gases have
        dramatically increased. This fact may not be considered
        revolutionary or even vaguely interesting; however, when
        you learn that these concentrations lead to climate
        change and global warming, you may wish to know more.
        Furthermore, when you consider that our choices have a
        direct impact on the health of our planet, and all that
        lives on it, the issue is no longer merely about knowing
        more…it is about doing more. Because people living in
        the western world are the greatest consumers and
        polluters on the planet, the onus to act lies upon us.
        North Americans must end their addiction to and
        reliance upon cars, or the effects of climate change will
        alter our ecosystems beyond repair.



     The description that best describes the approach used in this introduction (check one):

                            Anecdote: a brief story that distills the essence of the topic
                            Quotation: borrowed words that exemplify the purpose of the essay
                            News: the reader is privileged with information that answers some of the “Five W’s”
                            Background: offers a brief and concise history of the issue
                            Announcement: tells the reader the purpose of the essay – with an attitude!




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                                                                                                    Handout 5 (pg 2)

             Introduction #2                                                             Criteria

                            From grades 8 to 10, you embarked on a
             physical and mental journey by wholeheartedly
             participating in Physical Education. You’re now in
             grade 11 and you had intended to take P.E.; however,
             your parents want you to go to university. To please
             your parents and satisfy course requirements, you are
             limited to taking only academic courses. From your
             experience, you feel that three years of P.E. is not
             enough, and that there are important benefits all
             students need to experience throughout their school
             years. P.E. keeps you fit, allows you to make positive
             lifestyle choices, and it gives you unique skills that will be
             of value throughout one’s life. P.E. is too valuable to be
             deemed optional and it should be made mandatory for
             all students in grades 8 through12.




     The description that best describes the approach used in this introduction (check one):

                            Anecdote: a brief story that distills the essence of the topic
                            Quotation: borrowed words that exemplify the purpose of the essay
                            News: the reader is privileged with information that answers some of the “Five W’s”
                            Background: offers a brief and concise history of the issue
                            Announcement: tells the reader the purpose of the essay – with an attitude!




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                                                                                                    Handout 5 (pg 3)

             Introduction #3                                                             Criteria

                            There is a crisis facing Canadians! Over the
             past 25 years, its presence has dramatically increased in
             our country. Sixty percent of Canadian adults live with
             it, and one in four children and youth are faced with it. It
             leads to premature death caused by heart disease,
             diabetes, some types of cancer and other conditions
             such as arthritis and asthma. “It” refers to the condition
             of obesity. According to Statistics Canada, the rise in
             obesity amongst youth over the past 20 years has risen
             dramatically. Society knows how to control excessive
             weight gain, yet we allow youth to stop taking P.E. after
             grade 10. Since P.E. is one of the most efficient ways
             of educating youth and promoting a healthy lifestyle, it
             should be made mandatory from kindergarten to grade
             12.




     The description that best describes the approach used in this introduction (check one):

                            Anecdote: a brief story that distills the essence of the topic
                            Quotation: borrowed words that exemplify the purpose of the essay
                            News: the reader is privileged with information that answers some of the “Five W’s”
                            Background: offers a brief and concise history of the issue
                            Announcement: tells the reader the purpose of the essay – with an attitude!




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                                                                                                    Handout 5 (pg 4)

             Introduction #4                                                             Criteria

                            “You’re fat!”
                            “Idiot!”
                            “Stupid!”
                            These words (and far worse) are uttered every day in
             the hallways and classrooms of our schools. Nobody has the
             right to erase another’s worth off the planet, yet it happens…
             constantly. Despite what you were told as a child… ”Sticks
             and stones can break bones…” names do hurt. If school is
             supposed to be a place of learning, a place where people feel
             they belong and can be safe, then we need to open up our
             eyes and ears and acknowledge the foul nature of the air we
             breathe. Teachers and students cannot deny that our
             collective choice to ignore such insults affects learning. If we
             hope to call school a safe place where everyone is a learner,
             then we had better clean up our language, and the anger that
             drives it.




     The description that best describes the approach used in this introduction (check one):

                            Anecdote: a brief story that distills the essence of the topic
                            Quotation: borrowed words that exemplify the purpose of the essay
                            News: the reader is privileged with information that answers some of the “Five W’s”
                            Background: offers a brief and concise history of the issue
                            Announcement: tells the reader the purpose of the essay – with an attitude!




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                                                                                                    Handout 5 (pg 5)

             Introduction #5                                                             Criteria

                            “Our fault, dear Brutus, lies not within our stars
             but within ourselves.”
                            How many times have you heard someone throw
             the blame as far from themselves as possible, when really,
             the fault lay, at least in part, “within themselves”?
             Teenagers are often guilty of such behaviour, perhaps
             even more so than most other age groups. The reason for
             such behaviour may lie in the fact that teens face many
             restrictions and often do not have the freedom to make
             choices for themselves. If teens were given increased
             responsibilities, they wouldn’t have an opportunity to
             blame “the stars”…they would only have themselves to
             blame. By lowering the legal age of consent from 19 years
             of age to 16, teens would assume much greater
             responsibility for their lives and, ultimately, have nobody
             but themselves to blame.




     The description that best describes the approach used in this introduction (check one):

                            Anecdote: a brief story that distills the essence of the topic
                            Quotation: borrowed words that exemplify the purpose of the essay
                            News: the reader is privileged with information that answers some of the “Five W’s”
                            Background: offers a brief and concise history of the issue
                            Announcement: tells the reader the purpose of the essay – with an attitude!




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                                                                                                                Handout 5
                                                                                                    Teacher Reference
     Ready, Set, Jet
     Five Approaches to Powerful and Engaging Introductions

     Introduction #1 (Climate Change)
                          Anecdote: a brief story that distills the essence of the topic
                          Quotation: borrowed words that exemplify the purpose of the essay
                          News: the reader is privileged with information that answers some of the “Five W’s”
                          Background: offers a brief and concise history of the issue
                          Announcement: tells the reader the purpose of the essay – with an attitude!

     Introduction #2 (Importance of P.E.)
                          Anecdote: a brief story that distills the essence of the topic
                          Quotation: borrowed words that exemplify the purpose of the essay
                          News: the reader is privileged with information that answers some of the “Five W’s”
                          Background: offers a brief and concise history of the issue
                          Announcement: tells the reader the purpose of the essay – with an attitude!

     Introduction #3 (Obesity)
                          Anecdote: a brief story that distills the essence of the topic
                          Quotation: borrowed words that exemplify the purpose of the essay
                          News: the reader is privileged with information that answers some of the “Five W’s”
                          Background: offers a brief and concise history of the issue
                          Announcement: tells the reader the purpose of the essay – with an attitude!

     Introduction #4 (Power of Words)
                          Anecdote: a brief story that distills the essence of the topic
                          Quotation: borrowed words that exemplify the purpose of the essay
                          News: the reader is privileged with information that answers some of the “Five W’s”
                          Background: offers a brief and concise history of the issue
                          Announcement: tells the reader the purpose of the essay – with an attitude!

     Introduction #5 (Self Responsibility)
                          Anecdote: a brief story that distills the essence of the topic
                          Quotation: borrowed words that exemplify the purpose of the essay
                          News: the reader is privileged with information that answers some of the “Five W’s”
                          Background: offers a brief and concise history of the issue
                          Announcement: tells the reader the purpose of the essay – with an attitude!



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                                                                     Handout 6A
                                                                  Destination Sign




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                                                                     Handout 6B
                                                                  Destination Sign




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                                                                     Handout 6C
                                                                  Destination Sign




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                                                                     Handout 6D
                                                                  Destination Sign




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                                                                     Handout 6E
                                                                  Destination Sign




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                                                                                                        Handout 7
     Writing an Engaging Introduction

     As you draft your introduction, consider the criteria established in the lesson for writing engaging,
     powerful introductions. Refer to Handout 2 as you write. When you are finished your draft,
     staple Handout 2 to the top of this sheet. Either your teacher or a peer will use this to highlight
     criteria and offer you feedback before moving on to the next lesson.

     The description that best describes the approach used in this introduction (check one):

                            Anecdote: a brief story that distills the essence of the topic
                            Quotation: borrowed words that exemplify the purpose of the essay
                            News: the reader is privileged with information that answers some of the “Five W’s”
                            Background: offers a brief and concise history of the issue
                            Announcement: tells the reader the purpose of the essay – with an attitude!




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                                                                                                    Unit 5
                                                                                                  Lesson 6




      Writing Strong Conclusions
                                               Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                  Meaning
                                                                  Style
                                                                  Form
                                                                  Conventions



       Lesson 6
       Learning Intentions:
                             understand criteria for strong essay conclusions
                             collaboratively write an essay conclusion using criteria to guide the process
                             collaboratively assess another group’s conclusion, offering feedback based
                             on the established criteria
                             write a conclusion
                             revise a conclusion based on peer feedback


       Preparation:
                             gather chart paper and felts (1 set for each table group – approximately 6
                             sets)
                             copy 6 copies of Handouts 1 and 4A-E
                             copy class sets of Handouts 2 and 3




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       Lesson 6
       Writing Strong Conclusions
                                                                  Details                                          Materials
       1. Access Background Knowledge: What Makes Strong Conclusions
              Essential to a Good Essay?
              •       Have students return to their home groups from the previous lesson. Distribute           Handout 1
                      Handout 1, felt pens and a piece of chart paper to each group.                           Chart paper and pens
              •       Using Overhead 1, explain the activity “Defend My Dignity!” to students. Allow           Overhead 1
                      students 10 minutes to complete this activity.
              •       Invite each group reporter to share their group’s defense of the essay conclusion.
                      Post chart paper for future reference.
              •       If students struggle with this activity, it will indicate they may need you to provide
                      them with some more background knowledge about what constitutes a strong essay
                      conclusion, and why it is essential to a good essay.


       2. Introduce the Concept: Criteria for Strong Conclusions
              •       Distribute and speak to Handout 2. Based on some of the thinking and discussion          Handout 2
                      generated from the previous activity, integrate some of the students’ own                Overhead 2
                      background knowledge with the criteria listed. Use Overhead 2 to add to the list.
              •       Explain to students that they will use these criteria to guide them in writing
                      two different conclusions. The first will be to practice with their group, and
                      the second will be on their own for their own essay.


       3. Teacher Models – Using Criteria to Assess the Conclusion’s Strength
              •       Using Overhead 3 and the Criteria on Handout 2/Overhead 2, assess the                    Overhead 3 & Teacher
                      strength of the sample conclusion. Inform students that this conclusion is               Reference
                      connected to the introduction you modelled in the previous lesson. For ease of
                      reference, the introduction is reprinted on the overhead.
              •       As you assess the conclusion, remember to be very explicit as you explain your
                      thinking. Refer to Overhead 3 Teacher Reference for some guidelines.




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                                                                  Details                                      Materials
       4. Group Practice: Collaborative Writing, Assessment and Revision
              •       Distribute Handout 4A-E. Students re-read their assigned introduction from            Handouts 4A-E
                      the previous lesson. Together, they brainstorm ideas and draft a conclusion that
                      fits with the introduction, using the criteria from Handout 2 to guide the process.
                      Instruct every student in the group to write the final version of the group
                      conclusion.
              •       As groups complete the activity, collect the drafts and exchange them with
                      another table. Students are to assess the new conclusion using the criteria,
                      offering descriptive feedback to the group on how they might revise and
                      strengthen their conclusion. Students are to write their comments directly on the
                      handout.
              •       Students hand back the paragraphs to the original authors, and the group
                      discusses the feedback and makes revisions.


       5. Independent Practice: Writing a Strong Conclusion
              •       Students draft their own conclusion to their essay.
              •       The next day, have students exchange their entire paper with a partner who will
                      read the entire paper, but offer feedback only on the conclusion.
              •       Peers assess the conclusion using Handout 5. Students are to offer feedback
                      as you modelled on the overhead earlier in the lesson (using a highlighter and
                      writing directly on it). Remind students that the purpose of their feedback is help
                      strengthen the author’s conclusion.
              •       Students are to staple their highlighted and “messed up” Handout 2 to the top
                      of the conclusion and give it back to the author.
              •       Students revise their conclusions based on the feedback given.




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                                                                                                           Handout 1

                                                                  Defend My Dignity!

                                           You are a group of lawyers that has been hired to represent a rather
                                           unusual client. This client is not exactly human, or even a living thing.
                                           However, your client is essential to the world, for without it, things fall
                                           apart. What things? Essays!

            Your task is to create a poster or a slogan that explains the importance of an
            essay’s conclusion to a world that no longer cares about its existence. Be
            persuasive…A new generation of writers depends on you to win this case!

       As you prepare your case, think about all of the important things a conclusion does
       for an essay. Jot down your thinking here:




       Also, in preparing your case, think about the “other side…” Imagine a world
       without conclusions…what would it be like? Brawls would break out in city
       streets as business people, having just read the unfinished cover story in the
       Vancouver Sun, duke it out to see who had the best, most satisfying, most thought-
       provoking conclusion. Chaos would reign. You must restore order!

       Identify at least one person to report your group’s case to the class. When your
       teacher calls you back, be prepared to hear everyone’s ideas.


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                                                                                                          Overhead 1

                                                                  Defend My Dignity!

                                           You are a group of lawyers that has been hired to represent a rather
                                           unusual client. This client is not exactly human, or even a living thing.
                                           However, your client is essential to the world, for without it, things fall
                                           apart. What things? Essays!

          Your task is to create a poster or a slogan that explains the importance of an
          essay’s conclusion to a world that no longer cares about its existence. Be
          persuasive…A new generation of writers depends on you to win this case!

       As you prepare your case, think about all of the important things a conclusion does
       for an essay. Jot down your thinking here:




       Also, in preparing your case, think about the “other side…” Imagine a world
       without conclusions…what would it be like? Brawls would break out in city
       streets as business people, having just read the unfinished cover story in the
       Vancouver Sun, duke it out to see who had the best, most satisfying, most thought-
       provoking conclusion. Chaos would reign. You must restore order!


       Identify at least one person to report your group’s case to the class. When your
       teacher calls you back, be prepared to hear everyone’s ideas.


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                                                                                                                 Handout 2

                                                         Criteria for Strong Conclusions

          General Criteria
                                comes to closure that has an impact on the reader




          Specific Criteria
                         Provides Certainty
                                signals to the reader that “this is the end!” Brings definite closure and does not leave
                                the reader hanging or feeling uncertain about the issue
                                effectively restates the thesis in a way that reinforces the author’s position
                                connects in some way with the introduction. In other words, the writer needs to have
                                delivered what was promised in the beginning


                         Provides Opportunity for Reflection
                                leaves the reader with something to think about
                                urges the reader to take action on an issue or theme presented


                         Exemplifies Good Writing
                                language is clear, strong and powerful


                         Demonstrates Unique Style (Possible Approaches)
                                offers insight into the future – might it be different…better… worse… if the author’s
                                advice is not followed
                                shares a brief anecdote that illustrates the point being made




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                                                                                                             Overhead 2

                                                         Criteria for Strong Conclusions

          General (Criteria Standards)
                                comes to closure that has an impact on the reader




          Specific Criteria
                         Provides Certainty
                                signals to the reader that “this is the end!” Brings definite closure and does not leave
                                the reader hanging or feeling uncertain about the issue
                                effectively restates the thesis in a way that reinforces the author’s position
                                connects in some way with the introduction. In other words, the writer needs to have
                                delivered what was promised in the beginning




                         Provides Opportunity for Reflection
                                leaves the reader with something to think about
                                urges the reader to take action on an issue or theme presented




                         Exemplifies Good Writing
                                language is clear, strong and powerful




                         Demonstrates Unique Style (Possible Approaches)
                                offers insight into the future – might it be different…better… worse… if the author’s
                                advice is not followed?
                                shares a brief anecdote that illustrates the point being made




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                                                                                        Overhead 3

                                                 Assessing Conclusions: An Example

          Essay Introduction:


          Eubie Blake, an American songwriter once said, “If I’d known I was gonna live
          this long, I’d have taken better care of myself.” This thought undoubtedly occurs
          to many older people who, when faced with declining health, find themselves
          reflective on a lifetime of not taking care of their bodies. One of the more
          important aspects of taking care of one’s health is maintaining a physically active
          lifestyle. The foundation for an active life is laid in school P.E. classes where
          young people learn the importance and joy of exercise and the many ways to stay
          physically fit. For this reason, P.E. should be mandatory from grades 8 to 12.




          Essay Conclusion:


          The reasons for making P.E. compulsory throughout high school are abundantly

          clear. Maintaining health and fitness, making beneficial lifestyle choices and

          practicing valuable team skills are all essential elements of a successful life. Let’s

          be sure our young people get a good start at adulthood by ensuring that Physical

          Education is in the curriculum throughout their public school years.


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                                                                                                                   Overhead 3
                                                                                                          Teacher Reference

                                                         Criteria for Strong Conclusions
                                                                                                                      Not
                                                                                                                      addressed
       General (Performance Standards)
                             comes to closure that has an impact on the reader                                        Develop
                                                                                                                      further
                             Yes, the author accomplishes this.
                                                                                                                      Good to
       Specific                                                                                                       go!
                       Provides Certainty
                             signals to the reader that “this is the end!” Brings definite closure and does not leave the
                             reader hanging or feeling uncertain about the issue
                             effectively restates the thesis in a way that reinforces the author’s position
                             connects in some way with the introduction. In other words, the writer needs to have delivered
                             what was promised in the beginning
                             The author has a clear command of the topic. The conclusion definitely restates the thesis andd
                             connects back to the introduction with slightly different words.

                      Provides Opportunity for Reflection
                             leaves the reader with something to think about
                             Mmm… the author starts to do this, but it could be stronger. For example, “What will the next
                             generation be like if our current tendency towards obesity continues? Will our hospitals and
                             health care system be able to manage the demands?”
                             urges the reader to take action on an issue or theme presented
                             The author does not do this, but it’s not really necessary.

                      Exemplifies Good Writing
                             language is clear, strong and powerful
                             Language is definitely clear, but it is simple. In order to be more persuasive, it needs to have a
                             little more flare… perhaps be a little more playful. Let the author’s voice shine through the
                             language.

                      Demonstrates Unique Style (Possible Approaches)
                             offers insight into the future – might it be different…better… worse… if the author’s advice is not
                             followed?
                             Again, this is where the author could really add some punch to what they already started.
                             shares a brief anecdote that illustrates the point being made
                             The author does not do this, but it’s not really necessary.


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                                                                                                                  Handout 4A


       Using Criteria and Collective Brains to Draft a Strong Conclusion

       Group #1 Members:


       Introduction #1
                      Since the beginning of the Industrial Revolution, the concentrations of many greenhouse gases have
       dramatically increased. This fact may not be considered revolutionary or even vaguely interesting; however, when you
       learn that these concentrations lead to climate change and global warming, you may wish to know more. Furthermore,
       when you consider that our choices have a direct impact on the health of our planet, and all that lives on it, the issue is no
       longer merely about knowing more…it is about doing more. Because people living in the western world are the greatest
       consumers and polluters on the planet, the onus to act lies upon us. North Americans must end their addiction to and
       reliance upon cars, or the effects of climate change will alter our ecosystems beyond repair.


          Conclusion                                                                          Peer Feedback
                                                                                              (based on criteria)




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                                                                                                                 Handout 4B


       Using Criteria and Collective Brains to Draft a Strong Conclusion

       Group #2 Members:


       Introduction #2
                      From grades 8 to 10, you embarked on a physical and mental journey by wholeheartedly participating in
       Physical Education. You’re now in grade 11 and you had intended to take P.E.; however, your parents want you to go
       to university. To please your parents and satisfy course requirements, you are limited to taking only academic courses.
       From your experience, you feel that three years of P.E. is not enough, and that there are important benefits all students
       need to experience throughout their school years. P.E. keeps you fit, allows you to make positive lifestyle choices, and it
       gives you unique skills that will be of value throughout one’s life. P.E. is too valuable to be deemed optional and it should
       be made mandatory for all students in grades 8 through12.


          Conclusion                                                                           Peer Feedback
                                                                                               (based on criteria)




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                                                                                                                   Handout 4C


       Using Criteria and Collective Brains to Draft a Strong Conclusion

       Group #3 Members:


       Introduction #3
                      There is a crisis facing Canadians! Over the past 25 years, its presence has dramatically increased in our
       country. Sixty percent of Canadian adults live with it, and one in four children and youth are faced with it. It leads to
       premature death caused by heart disease, diabetes, some types of cancer and other conditions such as arthritis and
       asthma. “It” refers to the condition of obesity. According to Statistics Canada, the rise in obesity among youth over
       the past 20 years has risen dramatically. Society knows how to control excessive weight gain, yet we allow youth to stop
       taking P.E. after grade 10. Since P.E. is one of the most efficient ways of educating youth and promoting a healthy
       lifestyle, it should be made mandatory from kindergarten to grade 12.


          Conclusion                                                                            Peer Feedback
                                                                                                (based on criteria)




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                                                                                                               Handout 4D


       Using Criteria and Collective Brains to Draft a Strong Conclusion

       Group #4 Members:


       Introduction #4
                      “You’re fat!”
                      “Idiot!”
                      “Stupid!”
                      These words (and far worse) are uttered every day in the hallways and classrooms of our schools. Nobody has
       the right to erase another’s worth off the planet, yet it happens…constantly. Despite what you were told as a
       child…”Stick and stones can break bones…” names do hurt. If school is supposed to be a place of learning, a place where
       people feel they belong and can be safe, then we need to open up our eyes and ears and acknowledge the foul nature of
       the air we breathe. Teachers and students cannot deny that our collective choice to ignore such insults affects learning.
       If we hope to call school a safe place where everyone is a learner, then we had better clean up our language, and the
       anger that drives it.


          Conclusion                                                                          Peer Feedback
                                                                                              (based on criteria)




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                                                                                                                 Handout 4E


       Using Criteria and Collective Brains to Draft a Strong Conclusion

       Group #5 Members:


       Introduction #5
                      “Our fault, dear Brutus, lies not within our stars but within ourselves.”
                      How many times have you heard someone throw the blame as far from themselves as possible, when really, the
       fault lay, at least in part, “within themselves”? Teenagers are often guilty of such behaviour, perhaps even more so than
       most other age groups. The reason for such behaviour may lie in the fact that teens face many restrictions and often do
       not have the freedom to make choices for themselves. If teens were given increased responsibilities, they wouldn’t have
       an opportunity to blame “the stars”…they would only have themselves to blame. By lowering the legal age of consent
       from 19 years of age to 16, teens would assume much greater responsibility for their lives and, ultimately, have nobody
       but themselves to blame.


          Conclusion                                                                              Peer Feedback
                                                                                                  (based on criteria)




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                                                                                                      Handout 5

                                                         Criteria for Strong Conclusions

          General Criteria
                                comes to closure that has an impact on the reader




          Specific Criteria                                                                Feedback
                         Provides Certainty
                                signals to the reader that “this is the end!” Brings
                                definite closure and does not leave the reader hanging
                                or feeling uncertain about the issue
                                effectively restates the thesis in a way that reinforces
                                the author’s position
                                connects in some way with the introduction In other
                                words, the writer needs to have delivered what was
                                promised in the beginning

                         Provides Opportunity for Reflection
                                leaves the reader with something to think about
                                urges the reader to take action on an issue or theme
                                presented

                         Exemplifies Good Writing
                                language is clear, strong and powerful

                         Demonstrates Unique Style (Possible Approaches)
                                offers insight into the future – might it be
                                different…better… worse… if the author’s advice is not
                                followed
                                shares a brief anecdote that illustrates the point being
                                made


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                                                                                                      Unit 5
                                                                                                    Lesson 7




     The Finishing Touches
                                             Aspects of Writing Supported by this Lesson:
                                                                Meaning
                                                                Style
                                                                Form
                                                                Conventions



     Lesson 7
     Learning Intentions:
                           Revise and edit written work
                           Apply the conventions of written language, including complete sentences,
                           tense agreement, correct pronoun reference, sentence agreement and
                           citations
                           Provide feedback to peers, using general and specific criteria for all
                           aspects of writing: meaning, style, form and conventions


     Preparation:
                           Copy class sets of Handouts 1, 2, 3, 4




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     Lesson 7
     The Finishing Touches
                                                                Details                                  Materials
     Mini Lessons
     The write-up of this lesson does not follow the same framework as other lessons in the
     resource, where instruction is sequenced and progresses from building background
     knowledge, to teacher modeling, to guided group practice, and finally to independent
     student practice. Instead, what follows are handouts of “little things” that make a big
     difference to the finished product of a formal essay.
            •       Good Titles                                                                       Handout 1
            •       Conventions                                                                       Handout 2
            •       Citations and Works Cited                                                         Handout 3
     Rather than distribute these handouts and present them as isolated topics, allow students
     the opportunity to investigate these materials within the context of their own writing. We
     recommend that teachers present these as mini-lessons while students are revising and
     editing their essays, thus ensuring that these skills are viewed within the context of student
     writing.


     Peer Feedback
     When students peer assess, they not only help their classmates, but they also gain
     insights into their own learning. By seeing various levels of performance, students gain a
     better understanding of themselves as learners. These insights help them monitor their
     learning – about what they understand and don’t understand, about what they are doing
     well and what they need to work on.
     Prior to completing their final drafts, ask students to peer assess their persuasive essays.
            •       Place students in groups of 3. Provide each group member with 3 copies of
                    Handout 4.                                                                        Handout 4
            •       Distribute 3 different essays to each group (one per group member).
            •       Students read the essays and then highlight and complete Handout 4.
            •       Each student passes the essay he/she read to another group member.
            •       Students repeat the above process with all 3 essays.
            •       Students attach all feedback forms to the corresponding essays and return them
                    to their authors. Each essay should have 3 feedback forms.
            •       Authors revise and edit their essays.




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                                                                                                            Handout 1

                                                  Good Titles: Finding the Right Fit

     Although the title is the shortest piece of writing in an essay, it is an
     important introduction – a gateway – into the text. It provides the first
     glimpse of the writer’s style, and it helps prepare the reader for what lies
     ahead.


     Many writers settle on a “topic” instead of a “title,” and there are significant
     differences between the two. While a topic points the reader in a general direction, it does not
     invite the reader to discover what lies ahead. It is important to take the time to “play” with words
     that tease, tempt, ignite and hook the reader. Ultimately, a title should bring the reader to a place
     where they cannot put down the paper…they feel compelled to read on based on a few carefully
     chosen words.


                                                Topics…                            Titles…
                       are general statements that do not           attract the reader’s attention and offer
                       tempt the reader to read on;                 a tempting taste of what is to come;


                       cover vast territory and are too             provide specificity through carefully
                       general and broad to be considered           and deliberately chosen words tailored
                       a title;                                     to fit one particular essay;


                       are bland and flat and could be              have a personality that fits with the
                       attached to any number of essays;            tone of the essay (e.g. playful,
                                                                    mysterious, serious);


                       mark the beginning of the writing            are crafted at the end of writing
                       process;                                     process, after the essay’s meaning and
                                                                    style are fully developed;




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                                                                                                   Handout 2

                                                                Conventions
     Conventions are about following a set of recognized rules for standard English: the rules for
     spelling, punctuation, grammar, capitalization, paragraphing, and even presentation. When these
     rules are not followed, writers make errors that distract the reader and impede the meaning of their
     work. The following is a list of common problems that you should try to avoid.

     Run-On Sentences
     Run-on sentences occur when two or more sentences are joined together by only a comma or
     written as one sentence.
     Incorrect
            •       I read a book on the weekend it was about a boy soldier in Sierra Leone.
            •       I read a book on the weekend, it was about a boy soldier in Sierra Leone.
     Correct
            •       I read a book on the weekend. It was about a boy soldier in Sierra Leone.

     Sentence Fragments
     A sentence fragment is an incomplete thought. It may have a captial letter and a period, but it is
     not a sentence.
     Incorrect
            •       Robert likes to go to the movies on the weekend. Mainly comedies.
     Correct
            •       Robert likes to go to the movies on the weekend. Comedies are his favourite.

     Sentence Agreement
     Errors in sentence agreement occur when the subject and verb in a sentence do not agree in
     number. If you use a singular subject, the verb should be singular as well. If you use a plural
     subject, the verb should be plural too.
     Incorrect
            •       One of the stock brokers were jailed for a month.
            •       Inside the basement is the mountain bikes.
     Correct
            •       One of the stock brokers was jailed for a month.
            •       Inside the basement are the mountain bikes.



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                                                                                                    Handout 2 (pg 2)
     Pronoun Reference
     Pronouns are words that replace nouns (I, she, him, me, we, my, their, etc.). Errors in pronoun
     reference occur when it’s not clear which noun the pronoun replaces.
     Incorrect
                    •      Jonathan caught up with Cameron at the mall and started talking about the hockey
                           game. He was very excited about the Canuck’s win. (We don’t know who “he” refers
                           to: Jonathan or Cameron.)
     Correct
                    •      Jonathan caught up with Cameron at the mall and started talking about the hockey
                           game. Jonathan was very excited about the Canuck’s win.

     Shifts in Tense
     Shifts in tense occur when the verb tense (past, present or future) is not consistent throughout a
     piece of wiriting. If you begin writing a paper in the present tense, don’t shift suddently to the past.
     If you begin in the past, don’t shift without reason to the present.
     Incorrect
                    •      Hot coffee spilled on the table from Colleen’s Starbucks mug. She pushes back her
                           chair, then jumps out of her seat as steaming coffee dripped onto the floor.
     Correct
                    •      Hot coffee spilled on the table from Colleen’s Starbucks mug. She pushed back her
                           chair, then jumped out of her seat as steaming coffee dripped onto the floor.

     Sentence Variety
     Writers can make their writing more interesting by rearranging the words in their sentences or by
     using different types of sentences and sentence structures. Some suggestions:
                    •      Combine your sentences. Turn short choppy sentences into longer ones.
                                   Separate: My little brother is Nathan. He’s the cutest baby I’ve ever seen.
                                   Combined: My little brother Nathan is the cutest baby I’ve ever seen.
                    •      Invert your sentences. Change the natural order of the words.
                                   Natural: Benjamin finished his homework before 8:00, so he watched Survivor.
                                   Inverted: Since Benjamin finished his homework before 8:00, he watched Survivor.
                    •      Use a variety of sentence structures. A mix of simple, compound, and complex
                           sentences will make your writing more interesting to read.




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                                                                                                             Handout 3

                                                                Citations and Works Cited

     Within Your Essay
     When you borrow information from others, it is necessary to identify those sources and to give them credit.
     Sometimes the information you borrow appears in quotation marks as a direct quote. For example:


                    Although Dr. Seuss is thought of as a writer of children’s literature, his messages often speak to
                    all ages. During those dark days, when you feel alone in the world and feel that you can do nothing
                    right, Seuss playfully reminds us that you don’t deserve such despair, and to accept it is
                    unacceptable:
                                   “No!
                                   That’s not for you!
                                   Somehow you’ll escape
                                   all that waiting and staying.
                                   You’ll find the bright places
                                   where Boom Bands are playing!”

     Using the same information, you could choose to paraphrase the author and put his/her thinking more or
     less into your own words. If you choose to do this, you still give the author credit in the following way:


                    Although Dr. Seuss is thought of as a writer of children’s literature, his messages often speak to
                    all ages. During those dark days, when you feel alone in the world and feel that you can do nothing
                    right, Seuss playfully reminds us that you don’t deserve such despair, and to accept it is
                    unacceptable. He invites each one of us in from our own darkness to a metaphorical place – a place
                    where “Boom Bands” will lift our spirits and they will, once again, soar.


     At the End of Your Essay
     By mentioning the source of the quote or the idea (in this case, Dr. Seuss) you have partially completed
     what is asked of you. The second, equally important part of giving credit to someone else’s words or ideas
     happens at the very end of your essay. Let’s say, for example, that you were reading an essay that quoted
     Dr. Seuss, and you wanted to know what book the quote came from. It is necessary to create a list of all the
     books, internet sites, magazines, encyclopedias, and any other resource you consulted so people can refer
     to them, and you can also keep track of your research. This list is called Works Cited, and there are very
     specific rules about how to record these resources.




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                                                                                              Handout 3 (pg 2)

                                                                  Works Cited
                                                                Citation Style Guide


                    Book with One Author
                    Seuss, Dr. Oh, the Places You’ll Go! . New York: Random House, 1990.


                    Book with Two or Three Authors
                    Strunk, Jr., William and E.B. White. The Elements of Style. New York:
                                   Macmillan, 1972.

                    Book with Editor(s)
                    Lee, Bennett, and Jim Wong-Chu, eds. Many-Mouthed Birds:
                                   Contemporary Writing by Chinese Canadians. Vancouver: Douglas
                                   & McIntyre, 1991.


                    Book without Author or Editor
                    The National Geographic Atlas of the World. 7th ed. Washington, D.C.:
                                   National Geographic, 1999.


                    A Work in an Anthology: A Story, Essay or Poem
                    Wachtel, Eleanor. “Speachless.” Dropped Threads: What We Aren’t
                                   Told. Eds. Carol Shields and Marjorie Anderson. Toronto:
                                   Vintage, 2001: 233-7.


                    Article in a Magazine or Newspaper
                    Perkins, Sid. “Dust, the Thermostat.” Science News. Vol. 160 (13). 29
                                   September, 2001: 200-2.


                    TV Program
                    Teased. Dir. Burt Brinkerhoff. Seventh Heaven. Warner Brothers. 1
                                   October 2001.




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                                                                                              Handout 3 (pg 3)


                    Interview
                    Aujla, Dr. Manvir. Personal Interview. 25 April 2007.


                    Website
                    Climate Change: Impacts and Solutions. 2007. 10 March 2007.
                                   http://www.davidsuzuki.org/Climate_Change/


                    Article in a Journal, Magazine or Newspaper Online
                    Cernetig, Miro. “NDP Wants Minimum Wage Increased.” Vancouver Sun.
                                   12 April 2007. http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/story.html


                    For other sources that are not listed above, consult the MLA Style Guide online:
                    http://kclibrary.nhmccd.edu/mlastyle.htm




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                                                                                                            Handout 3 (pg 4)

                                                   Setting up the Works Cited Page
               On the last page of your essay, on a separate piece of paper, list every source you consulted
               and/or quoted in alphabetical order. If no author is given, alphabetize by the first word in the
               title.
               Italicize titles of books, newspapers, magazines, TV programs, names of websites.
               Place quotation marks around titles of chapters, newspaper articles, magazine articles.
               Single space within each entry.
               Double space between entries.
               Do not number the entries.
               Do not indent the first line. Indent the second line (if applicable)
               Web Sites should have author (if given), title italicized, date of publication or update (if
               available), originator (if available), date of access, and the URL (electronic address).




                                                                        WORKS CITED

                                                 Benedetti, Paul. “Kids’ Health: True or False Quiz”. CanadianLiving.com.
                                                     April 2007. <http://www.canadianliving.com/Canadianliving/
                                                     client/en/Health/DetailNews.asp?idNews-235827&idSM=318>

                                                 Super Size Me. Dir. Morgan Spurlock. Perf. Morgan Spurlock, John
                                                      Banzhaf, Bridget Bennett. The Con (ind. Film), 2004.

                                                 Raha, Sumona. “Why Not to Diet.” Faze Magazine. Spring 2005.
                                                      < http://www.fazeteen.com/spring2005/whynotdiet.htm>



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                                                                                                                                                Handout 4

                                                                      Peer Feedback
      Title of Essay:

      Author:                                                                            Feedback From:


Aspect                       Not Yet Within Expectations          Meets Expectations                    Fully Meets Expectations         Exceeds Expectations
                                                                  (Minimal Level)


                             The writing is often                 The writing presents connected     The writing is clear and            The writing is clear, focused,
                             fragmented; it may be long and       ideas that accomplish the basic    complete; it accomplishes the       and fully developed; it
                             rambling or too brief to             purpose or task.                   purpose or task.                    accomplishes the purpose and
SNAPSHOT                     accomplish the purpose.                                                                                     creates desired impact.


MEANING                      • purpose is unclear; focus is       • purpose clear; focus may         • purpose is clear; consistent      • tightly focused; well-
                               not sustained                        waver                              focus                               defined purpose
• ideas and                  • examples and details are           • some relevant details and        • logically developed with          • vivid, relevant details and
  information                  irrelevant, too general, or          examples                                                               examples; may show
                                                                                                       relevant details and examples
• use of detail                simplistic                         • some accurate information;       • accurate and complete               originality
• use of sources             • information is incomplete;           may be incomplete or poorly                                          • accurate and complete
                                                                                                       information; well integrated
                               may be inaccurate                    integrated                                                             information; skillfully
                                                                                                                                           integrated


STYLE                        • language is repetitive and         • language is clear and varied     • varied language; has some         • precise language chosen for
• clarity,                     often unclear                      • some variety in sentences          impact; fits purpose                effect
  variety, and               • simple, repetitive sentences                                          • varied, complex sentences         • sentences are varied to
  impact of                                                                                                                                create a particular effect
  language

FORM                         • introduction is not engaging;      • introduction states simple       • introduction clearly states       • introduction catches
• beginning,                   may omit purpose or thesis           thesis or purpose; attempts to     purpose or thesis; engages          attention; offers well-
  middle, end                  statement                            engage reader                      reader                              developed thesis
• organization               • difficult to follow; transitions   • logical organization sequence    • logically organized and           • effective sequence and
  and sequence                 are weak or missing                  may be ineffective                 sequenced; varies transitions       transitions make reasoning
• transitions                • may end without a logical          • explicit conclusion              • comes to closure; tries to have     clear
                               conclusion                                                              an impact                         • strong conclusion has an
                                                                                                                                           impact


CONVENTIONS                  • frequent, repeated errors in       • some errors, but meaning is      • may have occasional errors        • may make occasional errors
• spelling                     basic language                       clear                            • carefully edited and proofread      when taking risks
• punctuation                • resembles a rough draft;           • some evidence of editing and                                         • effectively edited and
• sentence                     errors are not corrected             proofreading                                                           proofread
  structure
• grammar (e.g.,
  modifiers,
  agreement,
  verb tense)



Identify “specific criteria” (rather than the general criteria above) for the following section:
         Two Stars

         One Wish




 September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\08 09\Unit 5 Lesson 7.doc
                                                                                                                                                           352
     Unit V – Teacher Reflections

     Successes:
            • What aspects of the lessons in this unit contributed to student learning?




     Challenges:
            • Which learning intentions are students still struggling with?




     Next Steps:
            • Was the learning equally effective for all students?
            • What might I do differently to continue supporting students’ learning?




September, 2008\Literacy\Write Path\08 09\Unit 5 Lesson 7.doc
                                                                                          353
                                                            References
Atwell, N. (2002). Lessons that change writers. Portsmouth, NH: Heinnemann.

Black, P., & Wiliam, D. (1998). Inside the black box: Raising standards through classroom
assessment. Phi Delta Kappan, 80 (2), 139- 148.

Brownlie, F. (2006). Student diversity: Classroom strategies to meet the learning needs of all
students (2nd ed.). Markham, ON: Pembroke.

Cameron, C., Gregory, K., Politano, C., Paquin, J. (2004). Voices of experience: practical ideas
to spark up the year, grades 4-8. Winnipeg, MB: Portage and Main Press.

Clarke, P., Owens T., & Sutton, R. (2006) Creating independent student learners. Winnipeg,
MB: Portage and Main Press.

Clarke, S. (2005). Formative Assessment in the Secondary Classroom. London, UK:
Hodder Murray.

Gregory, K., Cameron, C., & Davies, A. (2000). Knowing what counts: Self assessment and
goal setting! Merville, BC: Connections Publishing.

Hillocks, G., Jr. (1995). Teaching writing as reflective practice. New York, NY: Teachers
College Press.


Hillocks, G., Jr. (1986a). Research on written composition: New directions for teaching. Urbana,
IL: ERIC and National Conference for Research in English.

Ivey, G. & Fisher, D. (2006). Creating Literacy-Rich Schools for Adolescents. Alexandria,
VA: ASCD.

O’Callaghan, J. (2005). Headlines. In D. Booth, J. Green & J. Booth (Series Eds.),
Boldprint (pp. 16-19). Oakville, ON: Rubicon.

Western and Northern Canadian Protocol for Collaboration in Education (2005). Rethinking
classroom assessment with purpose in mind. Winnipeg, MB: Manitoba Education.



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