A Very Special Gift
Posted by admin On February 13, 2010 9:02 AM
Have you been shopping around for the perfect for that special someone? Have you been frustrated by the
countless hours that youve spent shopping and comparison shopping without any success? Have you tried
you hand at online shopping and still failed to come up with anything that your special someone is going to
like. Well, you dont have to worry about that anymore! Im here, today, to tell you that Ive got the perfect
gift for that special someone: Blue Tooth-Dye cereal! Thats right, the cereal that dyes your teeth blue,
As youve been shopping around, youve no doubt been struck by the lack of originality that most products have to offer. I mean, lets
take a look at a few of the presents that you might have bought before you heard about our amazing Blue Tooth-Dye cereal.
A watch: Oh, great. You bought me a watch. Great. Youre so preoccupied with the amount of time that youve spent shopping
around for me that you had to buy an instrument to measure the time that youre wasting, and now youre re-gifting it. Or maybe
youre trying to tell me that Im always late to everything, and that youd really prefer that I become a bit more punctual. Great, what a
thoughtful gift. I was only late to your wedding and your baby-shower, and your graduation, and my own wedding, and I guess I was
pretty late that time you needed me to bail you out of jail, and there have been plenty of other times& But really? Youre going to get
me a watch for my birthday? Sheesh.
Scratcher Tickets: Oh, well isnt that just great: you bought me scratcher tickets for my frickin birthday. Youve got such a bad
gambling problem that you gambled away my frickin birthday present, and youre trying to pass it off as an actual present. You know
what? You can keep away from me and my family. My kids dont need to know you for what youve become: a hollow, ruined husk of
a human being, so addicted to gambling and irresponsibility that you cant even bring yourself to buy a proper birthday present for one
of your closest friends. Keep the tickets, you addict.
Tickets to a Sports Game: Oh, well isnt that just perfect: tickets to a sports game! I dont even like hockey, you jerk. And besides,
itd be worse if I did like hockey. Imagine that: you take me to a sporting event for my birthday and my favorite team loses. Wow,
what a great day! I got to see my favorite sports team lose, and I dont even have anything to show for it. I mean, couldnt you have
spent a few extra bucks and bought a jersey or something? I mean, seriously. At least I can use that for something! Come on!
Socks: Oh, oh my & I cant even find the words to adequately express how disappointed I am right now. I mean, if you gave me a
couple of hours a thesaurus, I might be able to put something together that would help you understand just how badly you done
messed this gift up.
Socks?! Are you kidding me?! I mean, who do you think you are? Do you think that youre my mom? Do you think that youre my
grandmother? If you do, Ive got news for you: youre not! You could have given me a melted candy bar wrapped up in soggy
newspaper and I would have found it more enjoyable than this lame gift! I mean, seriously. At least pretend that you care!
When youre shopping around, you might find yourself haunted by a few of these scenarios. Dont panic! Do as much comparison
shopping as youd like, but at the end of the day, be sure that youre buying your special someone a present that is going to rock their
world (and teeth!): cereal that turns human teeth blue, permanently!
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