John Tobin TC422 Oct. 24th 2006 Exercise 7.1 1. Scientific research generally depends on fully accurate data if it is to offer theories that will allow us to predict the future in a plausible way. Revision Scientific research generally depends on accurate data to develop theories allowing us to predict the future plausibly. 2. Notwithstanding the fact that all legal restrictions on the use of firearms are the subject of heated debate and argument, it is necessary that the general public not stop carrying on discussions pro and con in regard to them. Revision Though all legal restrictions on firearms use is the subject of debate, the general public should continue discussing the topic’s pros and cons. 3. Except when expenses do not exceed $250, the Insured may not refuse to provide the Insurer with receipts, checks, or other evidence of costs. Revision The Insured must provide the Insurer with receipts, checks, or other evidence of costs, unless expenses are under $250. 4.Do not discontinue medication unless symptoms of dizziness and nausea are not present for six hours. Revision Keep taking medication unless symptoms of dizziness and nausea cease for six hours. 2 John Tobin TC422 Nov 9 2006 5. No agreement exists on the question of an open or closed universe, a dispute about which no resolution is likely as long as a computation of the total mass of the universe has not been done. Revision Disagreement exists on whether the universe is open or closed, but while its total mass remains uncalculated, this dispute will likely continue unresolved. 6. No alternative exists in this country to the eventual development of tar sand, oil shale and coal as sources of fuel, if we wish to stop being energy dependent on imported oil. Revision Eventually, we will have to develop tar sand, oil shale and coal as alternative fuel sources, to stop being energy dependent on imported oil. ____________________________________________________________ Exercise 7.3 I will analyze Frost’s use of imagery of seasons in his longer poems published at the end of his career. Revision 7. Frost used imagery of seasons in his longer poems published at the end of his career. Readers would want to explore this claim. In this essay, I analyze the mistaken assumption underlying Freud’s interpretation of dreams. Revision 8. There is a mistaken assumption underlying Freud’s interpretation of dreams. This is an assertion that readers would want to read about. 3 John Tobin TC422 Nov 9 2006 9. This article discusses needle sharing among drug users. Revision Drug users share needles. Not an interesting or controversial claim requiring corroboration. 10. I intend to discuss the problem of the reasons for the failure and success of trade embargoes in this century. Revision Why trade embargoes have failed and succeeded in this century has been difficult to analyze as it is a complex problem. __________________________________________________________ Exercise 7.4. 11. In this particular section, I intend to discuss my position about the possible need to dispense with the standard approach to plea bargaining. I believe this for two reasons. The first reason is that there is the possibility of letting hardened criminals avoid receiving their just punishment. The second reason is the following: plea bargaining seems to encourage a growing lack of respect for the judicial system. Revision I think it perhaps necessary to end the standard approach to plea bargaining. I believe this for two reasons. The first is the possibility that hardened criminals will avoid their just punishment. The second is that plea bargaining seems to encourage a growing disrespect for the judicial system. 12. It is my belief that in regard to terrestrial-type snakes, an assumption can be made that there are probably none in unmapped areas of the world surpassing the six of those we already have knowledge of. Revision Regarding terrestrial-type snakes, we can assume there are probably none in unmapped world areas surpassing the six we already know. 4 Exercise 8.1. 13.While grade inflation has been a subject of debate by teachers and administrators and even in newspapers, employers looking for people with high levels of technical and analytical skills have not had difficulty identifying desirable candidates. Revision Employers looking for people with high levels of technical and analytical skills have been easily able to identify desirable candidates even though grade inflation has been debated by teachers and administrators and even newspapers. 14. Since school officials responsible for setting policy about school security have said that local principals may require students to pass through metal detectors before entering a school building, the need to educate parents and students about the seriousness of bringing onto school property anything that looks like a weapon must be made a part of the total package of school security. Revision Local principals may require students to pass through metal detectors before entering a school building, say officials who set school security policy. The seriousness of bringing into school either a weapon or lookalike weapon must become an integral part of school security education policy for parents and students. 15. Explaining why Shakespeare had Lady Macbeth die offstage rather than letting the audience see her die has to do with understanding the audience’s reaction to Macbeth’s death. Revision Understanding the audience’s reaction to Macbeth’s death is the key to explaining why Shakespeare had Lady Macbeth die offstage rather than letting the audience see her die. 16. Such prejudicial conduct or behavior, regardless or the reasons offered to justify it, is rarely not at least to some degree prejudicial to good order and discipline. 5 Revision Such prejudicial conduct or behavior, is frequently prejudicial to good order and discipline, regardless of the reasons offered to justify it. 17.Insistence that there is no proof by scientific means of a causal link between tobacco consumption and various disease entities such as cardiac heart diseases and malignant growth, despite the fact that there is a strong correlation between smoking and such diseases, is no longer the officially stated position of cigarette companies. Revision The cigarette companies no longer officially insist there is no scientific proof (against all proof to the contrary), of a causal link between tobacco consumption and cardiac heart diseases and malignant growth. In fact there is a strong correlation between smoking and such diseases.