Introduction Example by gottamentor

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									Introduction – someone you know
Dear Ms. Summers, Why is this a “STRONG” example? It was very nice to meet you at the <describe> event last week. I appreciate your offer to introduce me to <name>. As I mentioned in our conversation, I am currently looking into opportunities in <industry> and would love to talk to <name> about his role and his thoughts on the industry. Here’s a brief description of my background that you can feel free to share with him. I have three years of market research experience with specific expertise in research design, construction of analytical models, and data analysis. While at my current company I developed a new online research methodology using Twitter and Facebook that was adopted by the entire division and saves the company an estimated $1 million annually. I graduated in 2005 from Southeastern University as a math major. Reminds the connection how you met Purpose of the email is clearly stated in the first three sentences of the introduction Arms the individual with a strong paragraph about you (i.e. your elevator pitch) that they can share or paraphrase in making and introduction

STRONG
Introduction

Dear Ms. Summers, I appreciate your offer to introduce me to <John Doe>. As I mentioned in our conversation, I am currently looking into opportunities in <industry> and would love to talk to <John Doe> about his role and his thoughts on the industry. My contact information is below.

Why is this a “WEAK” example? Does not re-establish the connection. Unless this is someone who knows you well, it always helps to remind the person where they met you or how they know you. There’s no information about your background, skills, or experiences the person who offered to make the introduction can use. This is critical information that makes the introduction powerful and effective.

WEAK
Introduction

Copyright 2008 Gotta Mentor ®

Introduction – someone you do NOT know
Dear Mr. Jones, Why is this a “STRONG” example? My name is <name> and I am a market research analyst in the sportswear market interested in transitioning into marketing strategy at a web company. I ran across your name in the Southeastern alumni directory and wanted to reach out to you and ask if you’d be willing to talk for 15 minutes on the phone about marketing strategy and the skills required to be successful in this role for a web company. I have three years of market research experience with specific expertise in research design, construction of analytical models, and data analysis. Over the last year I have become more involved in marketing strategy, and led the development of a new online research methodology using Twitter and Facebook that was adopted by the entire division and saves the company an estimated $1 mil annually. I graduated in 2005 from Southeastern as a math major. Sets the stage appropriately, with the reason for the email and a clear ‘ask’ Establishes a common connection (school and to a lesser extent industry affiliation) Establishes credibility, making a case for why the person should use their discretionary time to help you

STRONG
Introduction

Dear Mr. Jones, I am a graduate of Southeastern University. I am currently looking into opportunities in marketing strategy and would love to talk to you about your role and what it takes to be successful in this position. Please let me know when you might have time to discuss. My contact information is below.

Why is this a “WEAK” example? There’s no case made for why they should help the individual. Providing relevant background on yourself and why they can be helpful is a critical element of an email introduction, particularly to someone you do not know.

WEAK
Introduction

Copyright 2008 Gotta Mentor ®


								
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