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Coaching Failure - How Failure Affects Our Lives

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					Coaching Failure - How Failure Affects Our Lives
Some people, including some coaches and some self improvement ‘gurus’,
may tell you that there is no such thing as failure. Yet, when you look
around, you will see that failure, the fear of failure or the desire to
avoid failure seem to be all around us and affecting the lives of almost
everyone in one way or another.
How many of us, as adults, can honestly raise our hand and say that we
have never experienced failure? How many sportsmen, athletes or team
players can say that they have always been successful in every event they
have participated? How many fans, spectators or television viewers can
say that their team or sportsman has always won? How many salesmen or
businessmen can say that they have always gotten the best deal they
could? How many of us can say that we have always achieved the best we
could?
Almost every teacher can tell you of pupils who rarely seem to do their
best or rarely try to do anything new, because they are afraid of
failing. So they stick with what they already know. As an adult, has
there never been a time when you have turned down an opportunity to do
something, such as, say, a parachute jump, a flight in an aeroplane, a
fairground ride, meeting someone important, speaking in public, simply
because you were worried about failing or appearing foolish?
If we look at our lives and the lives of those around us, we would see
that failure is very much a part of life and can have a big effect on how
we live our life and what decisions we make. Failure, the fear of failing
or the expectation of failing, can hold us back in life and stop us doing
some of the things we would really like to do or maybe even need to do.
It is how we interpret failure that really affects us, rather than
failure itself. It is the fear of failing that may hold us back rather
than any actual failure. It is the expectation of failure or the
possibility of failing that makes us reluctant to try something new.
The future is full of possibilities. It is our fear that we might fail
that limits our choice of possibilities. Our failings are always in the
past either in the distant past or in the immediate past and we often
believe that because we have experienced past failure that we will
continue to experience failure in the future.
Failure, though, is really determined by how we experience or interpret
outcomes. Changing the way we interpret those outcomes can help us
overcome our fear of failing in the future. By overcoming our fear of
failure, we start to open up all the possibilities for the future. This
is the positive outcome which could be achieved by coaching.
This could be done by focussing on what we perceive as ‘failure’ and re-
examining or re-interpreting the outcomes. Rather than simply brushing it
under the carpet or ignoring it, any ‘failure’ should be directly
examined. By ignoring any ‘failure’, we will not prevent it from having
an effect upon us. Instead we need to examine it and re-interpret it so
that it is no longer seen as a failure and no longer seen as something
that holds us back.
Doug Woods is a qualified teacher, life coach, counsellor and trainer.
You can find out more about his work at his website
http://www.dougwoods.com

				
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posted:10/11/2010
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