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Understanding the Laws of Initial Attraction


									Understanding the Laws of Initial Attraction
The laws of initial attraction are universal. They ignore the restraints
of culture, gender, and language. For most people, being attracted to
another person is based upon how that other person looks. We are, by
nature, drawn toward those who are physically attractive to us. When we
gather the courage to act on that attraction, it can spark the beginning
of a romantic relationship.
Occasionally, you may hear people claim that looks are not important to
them. While that may suit their ideal about themselves, it ignores our
basic human instinct. In truth, all of us are initially attracted to
other people for the same reason: because they look good to us. Below,
we'll explore what happens during the first glance that sparks our
interest in others. We'll also take a closer look at the role that
physical chemistry and sexuality play in attraction.
First Glance
Each of us has experienced the sensation that goes through our mind and
body when someone catches our eye. It begins with a fleeting glance.
Often, our eyes casually drift across another person while scanning a
room or watching others. In that moment, attraction is instantly
triggered. No matter where we look afterwards, something about that other
person draws our attention. The initial attraction tantalizes our
curiosity. At the same time, we become acutely aware of our own
appearance to others. We struggle to keep calm even as we become
increasingly self-conscious. Soon, the first glance gives way to a second
and third.
Chemistry And Sexuality
Physical chemistry and our sexual urges are the foundation of initial
attraction. When we see someone who is physically appealing to us, our
instinctive sexuality takes a more prominent role. We may not even
realize that it is happening. Without having even met the person to whom
we feel attracted, our mind and body immediately begin sizing them up
physically. Our brain reviews whether we would be sexually compatible
with them while our body starts going through subtle (or, perhaps not so
subtle) physiological changes.
Physical Attraction Reciprocated
While the attraction we feel toward another person can be powerful, it is
heightened further when it is reciprocated. When our glance is returned
with a friendly smile, it often signals mutual interest. When our gaze
holds the other person's attention, an unspoken rapport develops, if even
briefly. At this point, the two people who are attracted toward one
another may begin using body language to further signal their interest. A
flirtatious smile, a playful wink, or a quick glance at the other
person's body is part of the silent courtship. Ultimately, it can set the
stage for one person to approach the other.
Taking The Next Step
The initial attraction that we feel toward another person can be potent.
When it is reciprocated, that attraction may be enough to motivate us to
get up and approach the other person. Social scientists have long known
that people who are unacquainted with each other go through a series of
steps in resolving their attraction to one another. Once our attention is
drawn, we seek reciprocation. Then, we approach the other person to
interact with them. Eventually, the physical chemistry and sexual arousal
that prompted the interaction either goes away or grows.
It all begins with one fleeting glance. While tradition, heritage,
ethnicity, and a host of other influences may suppress our instinctive
urges, the manner in which we are attracted to others never changes.
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