Relax 1, the difference Biology class the teacher asked: What is the difference frogs and toads? Mr Tan replied: frog is a conservative, sit idle; and toad are innovators, wants to eat. 2 share the pain The teacher asked the students: how to explain it, "and people share the pain, the pain will halve it?" Little London said: "If my father beat me, beat me to his cat!" 3 looks Teacher arranged a question: Please use two words summed up his own appearance. After the examination paper of collecting, Several students answer points: Send the answer to a criticism: sometimes the right, terrible, I hate the heavens, I think the afterlife and so on. A realist camp security are: amphibians, apes his brother, ape piracy, atavistic and so on. Modernist are: Seven Wonders, and asked my wife and so on. And only a Surrealist answer is - even people. 4, more black principals Freshmen who received military training principals review. "Good students!" "Good President!" "The students are working hard!" "Serve the People!" "The students sunburned!" New students suddenly speechless, I do not know how to answer. After a brief pause, a boy shouted: "More black president!" 5, syntax conversion Teacher: "Please put 'the horse ran away' this sentence into questions." Little Ivan: "the horse will run?" Teacher: "Correct! Good! Now put it into the imperative." Little Ivan: "Gee up!" 6, no title Roommate nearsighted, often accounting for the first row of seats, suffered a high number of teachers to speak Spit flying, Hard to resist. Day she said to me: bow high number of teachers give lectures, the first row of the table is all wet; The rise of high number of teachers lecture, the second row of the table to all wet. I fainted. 7 political prisoners Zhang angry teacher into the classroom, said sternly: "You called me the language copies I put up; new political and old Normal teacher, why do you call her political prisoners (Fan) it? " 8, dormitories another name Ray came to him with a high school students to visit college dorm room, he pointed to the road on the left of the dormitory Buildings, said: "This is a women's dormitory area, called Weaver galaxy." Pointing to the right side of the dormitory buildings Road, said: "It was the male dormitory area, called the Altair system." And pointing to the foot of the road, said: "This road is called Milky Way." At this time, female teachers in charge of student hostels by impassively, Ray said quietly: "This is the Queen Mother." 9, wall clock University has classrooms, a problem inside the wall clock, as long as things will be moving further and further knock to the fast Knock once for 5 minutes fast. Professor of class one day and found that students are taking advantage of his writing on the blackboard Wall clock time lost with a rubber, but the professor is not quiet, it's still the bell on the class. Before long, the period Examination to the end, everyone is hard at exams, I saw professors took an eraser and throw practice clock in there. 10, change the world Lian Nigeria geography teacher asked: Why did not complete the picture of the world map work? Lian Nepal bow answer: I'm afraid I draw the map will change the world. 11, curiosity The teacher asked: "Children, the first person you want to know what's up there?" Little Ivan from the back row stood up and replied: "Madam, in fact we are more interested in the world On how the third out. " 12 Life Insurance The teacher is teaching economics, talked about the insured and the beneficiary of the relationship, in order to better image A little bit, he cited an example: "I voted life insurance for example, one day I was unfortunately car Killed, and you can get compensation for my wife. She is the beneficiary, then who I am ? "One student replied:" dead. " 13, beat A professor of intellectual precocity of a little boy said: "Your birthday is the day?" Answer: "April 8th" Professor said: "what year." A: "Every year." 14, insurance policy Chemistry just sent down, the students struggle to see the teacher's comments. Just listen to a pick up B's read together: When concentrated sulfuric acid dripping onto the skin should be dry with a cloth, then rinse with plenty of water, then towel dry , And then spray on some perfume, and then coated with a layer of corn oil skin care cream. " Teacher instructions said: "do you still want a sauna, massage?" 15, taking notes Four for the test in English, we are desperate to learn English quickly, some notes have had in other tertiary Business class to do. One day, history teacher, found that the audience extremely busy life, and wondered, Then from the rostrum, quietly to his side view. The student busy for a while, feel the atmosphere right, fierce Rise, see the teacher was smiling and said to him: "Do you think you are taking notes in English faster than I remember in Chinese?" 16, Mishina After the exam, three students from the bitter complaints come together. A: "I have not test language lesson, the teacher said I was waste." B said: "I can not keep up physical education teacher said I was defective." C said: "I do not pass the political class, the teacher said I was dangerous." 17, Miao Solutions In a language class, the teacher explained to the students, "panic", "incomprehensible", "relief" , "As always," four idioms. Coincidentally, a student is asleep. Teach a pound the table, The students suddenly sat up, picked up the book they read, the teacher said: "This is panic-stricken." Then, the old Teacher to let him answer questions, he got up and muttered a long time. Then the teacher said: "This is I do not know Goes, sit down! "The students sigh of relief and sat down a long way. The teacher said:" This is Relief. "And the other teachers took to the podium, and that the students and get down to sleep. Teacher Meng turned around, pointing to He said: "This is, as always." 18, homework After class, the teacher Ivan said: "Let your grandfather come to the school trip." Ivan asked the teacher: "Teacher, Do not need to call my father to come? "Teacher:" No, Ivan, call your grandfather to us instead. I To tell him that his son got the wrong answer to your homework in a lot of problems. " 19, a few hundred to say Class. Stood with his back to the fire, said to the students: "Think twice before you speak, count to at least Fifty, the important matters to a hundred. " The number of students rushed up, and finally broke out spontaneously "nine eight, ninety nine, a hundred . Teacher, your clothes are on fire. " 20, flowers in full bloom Zhou Yuan teacher asked: "an increase of angry bees to the garden What do you mean?" Yuan Zhou replied: "Bees steal flowers, flowers chanting angry!" We heard laughter. Zhou Yuan rebuttal said: "If flowers are not angry, Where's the 'flower in full bloom' do? "