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1, the difference
Biology class the teacher asked: What is the difference frogs and
Mr Tan replied: frog is a conservative, sit idle; and toad are
innovators, wants to eat.

2 share the pain
The teacher asked the students: how to explain it, "and people
share the pain, the pain will halve it?"
Little London said: "If my father beat me, beat me to his

3 looks
Teacher arranged a question: Please use two words summed up his own
appearance. After the examination paper of collecting,
Several students answer points:
Send the answer to a criticism: sometimes the right, terrible, I hate
the heavens, I think the afterlife and so on.
A realist camp security are: amphibians, apes his brother, ape piracy,
atavistic and so on.
Modernist are: Seven Wonders, and asked my wife and so on.
And only a Surrealist answer is - even people.

4, more black principals
Freshmen who received military training principals review.
"Good students!"
"Good President!"
"The students are working hard!"
"Serve the People!"
"The students sunburned!"
New students suddenly speechless, I do not know how to answer. After a
brief pause, a boy shouted:
"More black president!"

5, syntax conversion
Teacher: "Please put 'the horse ran away' this sentence into
Little Ivan: "the horse will run?"
Teacher: "Correct! Good! Now put it into the imperative."
Little Ivan: "Gee up!"

6, no title
Roommate nearsighted, often accounting for the first row of seats,
suffered a high number of teachers to speak Spit flying,
Hard to resist. Day she said to me: bow high number of teachers give
lectures, the first row of the table is all wet;
The rise of high number of teachers lecture, the second row of the
table to all wet. I fainted.

7 political prisoners
Zhang angry teacher into the classroom, said sternly: "You called
me the language copies
I put up; new political and old Normal teacher, why do you call her
political prisoners (Fan) it? "

8, dormitories another name
Ray came to him with a high school students to visit college dorm
room, he pointed to the road on the left of the dormitory
Buildings, said: "This is a women's dormitory area, called Weaver
galaxy." Pointing to the right side of the dormitory buildings
Road, said:
"It was the male dormitory area, called the Altair system."
And pointing to the foot of the road, said: "This road is called
Milky Way."
At this time, female teachers in charge of student hostels by
impassively, Ray said quietly:
"This is the Queen Mother."

9, wall clock
University has classrooms, a problem inside the wall clock, as long as
things will be moving further and further knock to the fast
Knock once for 5 minutes fast. Professor of class one day and found
that students are taking advantage of his writing on the blackboard
Wall clock time lost with a rubber, but the professor is not quiet,
it's still the bell on the class. Before long, the period
Examination to the end, everyone is hard at exams, I saw professors
took an eraser and throw practice clock in there.
10, change the world

Lian Nigeria geography teacher asked: Why did not complete the picture
of the world map work?
Lian Nepal bow answer: I'm afraid I draw the map will change the

11, curiosity
The teacher asked: "Children, the first person you want to know
what's up there?"
Little Ivan from the back row stood up and replied: "Madam, in
fact we are more interested in the world
On how the third out. "

12 Life Insurance
The teacher is teaching economics, talked about the insured and the
beneficiary of the relationship, in order to better image
A little bit, he cited an example: "I voted life insurance for
example, one day I was unfortunately car
Killed, and you can get compensation for my wife. She is the
beneficiary, then who I am
? "One student replied:" dead. "

13, beat
A professor of intellectual precocity of a little boy said: "Your
birthday is the day?"
Answer: "April 8th"
Professor said: "what year."
A: "Every year."
14, insurance policy
Chemistry just sent down, the students struggle to see the teacher's
comments. Just listen to a pick up B's read together:
When concentrated sulfuric acid dripping onto the skin should be dry
with a cloth, then rinse with plenty of water, then towel dry
, And then spray on some perfume, and then coated with a layer of corn
oil skin care cream. "
Teacher instructions said: "do you still want a sauna,

15, taking notes
Four for the test in English, we are desperate to learn English
quickly, some notes have had in other tertiary
Business class to do. One day, history teacher, found that the
audience extremely busy life, and wondered,
Then from the rostrum, quietly to his side view. The student busy for
a while, feel the atmosphere right, fierce
Rise, see the teacher was smiling and said to him: "Do you think
you are taking notes in English faster than I remember in

16, Mishina
After the exam, three students from the bitter complaints come
A: "I have not test language lesson, the teacher said I was
B said: "I can not keep up physical education teacher said I was
C said: "I do not pass the political class, the teacher said I
was dangerous."

17, Miao Solutions
In a language class, the teacher explained to the students,
"panic", "incomprehensible", "relief"
, "As always," four idioms. Coincidentally, a student is
asleep. Teach a pound the table,
The students suddenly sat up, picked up the book they read, the
teacher said: "This is panic-stricken." Then, the old
Teacher to let him answer questions, he got up and muttered a long
time. Then the teacher said: "This is I do not know
Goes, sit down! "The students sigh of relief and sat down a long
way. The teacher said:" This is
Relief. "And the other teachers took to the podium, and that the
students and get down to sleep. Teacher Meng turned around, pointing
He said: "This is, as always."

18, homework
After class, the teacher Ivan said: "Let your grandfather come to
the school trip." Ivan asked the teacher: "Teacher,
Do not need to call my father to come? "Teacher:" No, Ivan,
call your grandfather to us instead. I
To tell him that his son got the wrong answer to your homework in a
lot of problems. "

19, a few hundred to say

Class. Stood with his back to the fire, said to the students:
"Think twice before you speak, count to at least
Fifty, the important matters to a hundred. "
The number of students rushed up, and finally broke out spontaneously
"nine eight, ninety nine, a hundred
. Teacher, your clothes are on fire. "

20, flowers in full bloom
Zhou Yuan teacher asked: "an increase of angry bees to the garden
What do you mean?"
Yuan Zhou replied: "Bees steal flowers, flowers chanting
We heard laughter. Zhou Yuan rebuttal said: "If flowers are not
Where's the 'flower in full bloom' do? "

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